Today it was announced that NFL commissioner Roger Goodell will not be attending the AFC Championship game this year and instead will be going to the NFC Championship game in Atlanta for Packers Falcons Sunday afternoon. The move isn't really a shocker. The obvious choice is to go to the final game at the historic Georgia Dome...... Roger has not attended a game at Gillette Stadium since the 2014 AFC Championship Game (played in January of 2015). Better known by many as the game that began the Deflategate saga that lasted 555 days. What I don't understand is why people are so surprised and making such a big deal out of this? Like it's the most obvious thing of all time, I mean it's clear as day. Roger Goodell is scared. He's scared AF to go to New England and get boo'd for an entire afternoon. He's probably scared for his life and honestly I don't know if I'd blame him. Patriot fans are crazy in the sense that they love Tom Brady. Like really love Tom Brady. To the point where it borders on obsessive. Many (myself included) love Tom Brady more than some family members. There's people around these parts who'd do anything for him. Anything. If you don't think there's some crazy ass hole that would try to kill the commissioner you're crazy. But you know what, it's all the commissioner's fault. He simply could've backed down and said he made a mistake with Deflategate and tried to tarnish the legacy of the league's greatest QB but he didn't. Instead he doubled down and made it his personal vendetta to attack both the Patriots and Tom Brady. Not only did he suspend Tom Brady 4 games for a crime that was not proven, and even if he did do it it's the equivalent to J-walking, but he also fined the team a million bucks (which doesn't really matter) and took away a 1st and a 4th round draft pick. Other teams have had accusations of tampering with the balls and nothing happened. Coaches have been caught using illegal sound devices on the sidelines and nothing happened. Roger Goodell picks and choses his battles like the crooked cop that he is. Fuck Roger Goodell. You do all that and then don't have the balls to face the people you fucked over. You are a pussy. You are not a man. You're a scared little child. Afraid to face the music. But guess what it's okay. You don't need to come to Gillette. The Patriots will come to you, in Houston in two and a half weeks and you can hand them the Lombardi yourself. Unless you're too scared to do that too.
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Song: Tempted Artist: Squeeze Album: East Side Story It's hard to believe, but this is the last week where Barack Obama is President of the United States. After two terms it will all be over on Friday. It's kind of hard for me to fully grasp. The man who will go down in history as the first black President of the United States is being followed up by the first President who hosted a game show for 14 seasons. I can't help but get a little sentimental about Obama and his time in office. Regardless what you think of him, for people my age Barack Obama was their first President. He's the first President where I can fully remember my entire life during the duration of his entire presidency. He tried to be relatable to young people. He's the first President I ever voted for. Barry's been in charge since my junior year of high school. Really formidable years. When I look back on late high school and college aka the best years of my life. It'll all be times when Obama was the President. I remember my entire school being crammed in the Narragansett High School auditorium watching the inauguration on like a 28 inch box tv (remember it was 2009) like it was yesterday. Then bam, all of a sudden 8 years of your life just happened. I'm not here to talk legacy, or what was/wasn't accomplished during Obama's term, I'm here to talk about his final days. It's senior week for Obama. After eight years, it's coming to an end. He's done no matter what happens on Friday. Graduation date is set. 1/20/2017. It's happening. He can work all he wants, but Trump is going to change everything the second he gets in so why waste your time? These days are about you Barack. Might as well enjoy the final moments in the White House and have some fun. Obama owes it to his fellow American's to use his final week to give us some much needed comic relief. So Obama if you're reading this which I know you are because I'm probably on some watch list at this point here's what I'm thinking. You and Joe have one last adventure in the White House. Tell Michelle if you want, but if you wanna just keep this a bro thing than be my guest. You all have 3 days left. 3 days to Boobie-Trap the White House. Think of everything Kevin Mcallister did. He did it all in one night BY HIMSELF. You can have the help of your right hand man Joey B and all the Secret Service you want. Best part is you can't get in trouble because you did it when you were still President. I'm pretty sure that's how the law works so just go with that. This is what I'm thinking to get the ball rolling. I imagine Donald is going to be spending a lot of time in the Oval Office. I could see him giving a press conference everyday from there so the first thing we fuck with is the desk. I'm thinking you loosen the chair up just a little bit. Not enough for it to break day one, come on that would be obvious as hell. But just enough so over a few weeks of Trump putting his feet up and laying back in that baby that it snaps. Kind of like the bolt in the Bobsled of Cool Runnings. Over time from being loose it will break. Now with Trump's ego he's probably going to have an address from the Oval Office everyday just to remind people that he's President so the chance of this being seen be the entire country is pretty high. Even if the American people don't get to see it live, it will happen and you'll be able to know that it was because of you which sometimes is all the satisfaction a person needs. Next you guys install a squirt gun underneath the desk in the oval office. Again, you don't want this to go off right away to raise suspicion. So this is gonna need a timer or a remote control. You're the President, I'm just an idea guy, so you're gonna be responsible for finding a way to make that work but I know you can make it happen. But here's what I'm thinking. Whenever President Trump is about to leave the Oval Office in a hurry for a big meeting with Putin or give an impromptu press conference just have that squirt gun go off a little bit on the crotch of his pants. Harmless prank that will make the Donald feel really embarrassed. I have a feeling Donald Trump cannot feel his dick unless he's about 3 Viagra deep so he probably won't even notice tbh. Then when he stands up oh look, the big bad President pissed his pants. Everybody can laugh about that when they're worried about having their rights taken away, it will be wicked fun. But seriously Barry, think of all the hyjinx you could have in the final few days with Joe by your side. All the lasting memories of you guys putting saran wrap on all the White House toilets, throwing dead fish up into the vents, forking the White House lawn. Sure, you could go out the same boring way like every President ever (excluding Lincoln and JFK) or you could be truly remembered as the guy who made the first couple weeks in the White House a living hell for Donny. I think you know which way to go.
I don't understand the people filming this at all. Do they have a death wish? Have they not seen any of the millions of videos online of people being attacked by animals? Like that's not even an exaggeration there are millions. They must have a bazooka that can take that thing out in a moments notice if shit goes south. That or they'd just rather get eaten by an alligator than kill it and have him become a meme for 6 months. (RIP you know who) I just don't understand how else you can just lay there and act like everything is cool? What is wrong witht these people? How they are sitting so calmly when a damn dinosaur sized alligator is literally like 10 feet away from them? I can't even calmly look at a pretty girl without basically having a panic attack and these people could literally be eaten at any moment are just chillen like they're watching a safe of ducks cross the field. Unreal. And for what? Just think of the pros and cons here. Pros: 2 seconds of fame on twitter and you get losers like me to write a few shitty paragraphs online? Cons: You are that alligators first lunch of the day. I'm not a great decision maker but I think the right call is obvious. Get away from that gator. Call me a pussy. Whatever, I'll be the pussy who isn't dead. If I'm ever even in the same zip code as a normal sized alligator, forget this one that could be used to mark a first down, I'll be gone so fast you'll ask yourself when did Usain Bolt gain 200 pounds and grow a fantastic bucket of flow?
I hate the Pittsburgh Steelers. But they flat out won the game. They out Chief-ed the Chiefs. They out possessed them, and dominated from 20 yard line to 20 yard line. However once they got in the red zone against the Chiefs' bend but don't break defense it did exactly that: Not break.
While it didn't break, it bent enough to allow 6 field goals. An NFL playoff record. The Chiefs bend but don't break defense did exactly what it's designed to do: not allow touchdowns. But it wasn't enough, as the Chiefs offense could only put up 16 points to the Steelers 18. It pains me to say this because I actually like the Chiefs and Travis Kelce a lot (until this hardo video). I wanted them to knock out the Steelers. But bro you need to shut the f up and take your L like a man. Travis Kelce needs to grow up and watch the film because that "hold" is exactly why the Chiefs scored on the original 2 pt attempt. There's a lot of things you can blame this loss on and the refs are very low on that list, if they're even on it at all. You want the refs to swallow their whistles, but in this situation I think they made the right call. It was a tough call given the situation but at the same point as an "unbiased" viewer you don't want them to not call a clear penalty on a play as big as this just because it's a 2 point conversion attempt. As a former linemen (did I ever mention I played high school football?) I usually take the side of the O-line, I think that holding can be a bull shit penalty because it technically happens on every play, but when you watch it real time it looks like a hold to me. He hooked him and brought James Harrison to the ground. It was a hold that allowed Alex Smith to have enough time to get the pass off for the 2 point conversion.
Despite this tweet saying that he thinks the video makes it a bad call I think it just shows even more that Eric Fisher held. That style of block where he hooks the edge rusher around the neck is going to get called every time.
While it sucks that happened you cannot blame that play for why the Chiefs lose they game. Maybe Kelce should think about the idiotic unsportsmanlike penalty he had earlier in the game that killed one of the few good drives of the night for the Chiefs.
I get it post game you're upset. You should be. You just lost a hard fought NFL playoff game at home to a team you were favored to beat. You should be upset. I'd be worried if you weren't. But to blame the refs and say they have an agenda against you is just lazy and frankly not true. Other than that borderline holding call I can't remember a single moment from last night where you could blame them for the outcome. The refs didn't drop passes. You did. The refs didn't give up 170 rushing yards to Le'Veon Bell. Your team did. The refs didn't waste time outs that cost you a chance from getting the ball back. Your coach Andy Reid did. The refs didn't make a horrible Foot Locker reference to refs like it's 2003. You did.....Honestly to hear such a lazy, unfunny attempt at shit talk last night made my skin crawl. That's something kids in middle school say. If you're gonna bash the refs you need to do better than say they couldn't even work at Foot Locker.
Travis Kelce has nobody to blame but himself and his teammates for not showing up in the biggest game of their season. Not a ref for making the correct call. Song: Cocoon Artist: Milky Chance Album: Blossom The Divisional Round of the playoffs, despite its stupid name is usually the best weekend of football for the entire season. Four games across two days to determine the final 4 of the NFL season. Some of the most historic moments in NFL history have happened in the divisional round. The Immaculate Reception, The Epic in Miami, the original Hail Mary, Edelman to Amendola, the list goes on. It's a marquee weekend for football. By like 8 pm Sunday we'll know the match ups for Conference Championship Sunday next week. In a wide open year for the NFC honestly no combination of teams coming out of this weekend alive would surprise me. These are the four best teams in the NFC (sorry Giants fans). It's how it should be. Same can not be said in the AFC as the Houston Texans are one of the last four standing. Mainly because Derek Carr broke his fibula, but hey that's football. So since I'm retired from gambling (for now). The only way to give my predictions any merit is to put on the blog to either be blasted or revered. So let's have at it. This is how I think the weekend will play out. Feel free to fade me. NFC Divisional Game: (3) Seattle Seahawks 10-5-1 @ (2) Atlanta Falcons 11-5 Saturday January 14th 4:35 pm FOX In rematch of one of the most controversial endings to a game this season, the Seattle Seahawks travel to Atlanta to play MVP favorite Matt Ryan and the Falcons. Seattle has been a very weird team this year. You still respect them off their name and the stars on the roster, but this Seattle team is the most bipolar team in the NFL. Are they frauds? Are they legit? We'll know after tomorrow. They lost to the LA Rams 9-3 earlier this year. But they're the only team to beat a Tom Brady led Patriots this season. They also scored 5 points against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Very hard to know what you're going to get from this team away from Seattle. One week they look like the best team in the NFL and the next you're shocked they've won a game this year. After losing safety Earl Thomas it's no secret their defense has not been the same. They got torched by the Packers in week 14. A game where Wilson threw 5 INT. But last week in the wild-card round they looked god as they didn't allow a touchdown to the Lions. Then you have the Falcons. A team that has been on my fraud list for years. Matt Ryan is the king of one and dones. I personally like him a lot and loved him at BC but I don't trust him in the big moment. In his playoff career he is 1-4 but his lone playoff victory (tied with Tim Tebow) was against this very franchise, the Seahawks in the 2012 divisional round. A 30-28 win thanks to a Matt Bryant field goal as time expired. That was also the last time the Falcons made the playoffs. Despite throwing a career low 7 INT this year...8 if you count his costly "pick 2" against the Chiefs I still am expecting Matty Ice to melt when the moment is hot. To me this game is all about Matt Ryan. Can he perform in the playoffs? I really want to say yes, but Richard Sherman and Kam Chancellor make it hard for me to believe. However the Falcons got hosed in Seattle on a non call that should've extended the game and given them a chance to win in the closing seconds. They played the Hawks very well in that game. Since it's in Atlanta, I'm going to give the slight edge to the Falcons. This game is huge for Matt Ryan's legacy IMO. The difference between 1-5 and 2-4 with two conference championship appearances is huge. The Falcons had the league's best offense in the regular season with nearly 34 points per game. Can they prove that they can do it in the postseason? I'm going to say yes for this week. I think this is a BIG Julio Jones day. The Final: Falcons 31 Seahawks 27 AFC Divisional Game: (4) Houston Texans 9-7 @ (1) New England Patriots 14-2 Saturday January 14th 8:15 pm CBS Patriots Texans games have been about as competitive as the hammer v. the nail. Bob Mcnair does not own the Houston Texans, Tom Brady does. I hate to be a cocky Pats fan because it has burned me in the past but the true question with this game is will the Patriots cover -15? With 3rd string QB Jacoby Brissett the Patriots won 27-0 in week 3. Both teams are a lot different from that game but in a way they're still the same. It's still the Patriots against the lowly Texans. While I hate the narrative that the Patriots have a cake walk to the Super Bowl because the Chiefs and Steelers are both great teams, this game should be a breeze. I don't see how the Texans can out score the New England Patriots in the playoffs at the razor. Especially with this defense and despite no Gronk, the healthiest a Patriots team has been all year. Next week will be a battle, but this week is almost a forgone conclusion. Should the Pats lose I think it would be the biggest upset in Patriots history. More than Super Bowl 42. The only way the Patriots lose is if they all die in a pile up on the drive to the Stadium tomorrow. Be like water. The Final: Patriots 37 Texans 13 AFC Divisional Game: (3) Pittsburgh Steelers 11-5 @ (2) Kansas City Chiefs 12-4 Sunday January 15th 1:05pm NBC This is the game I want to see the most. Well should the Patriots win, because if they get upset Saturday night there's no way I watch. I may end up dead in a ditch somewhere, but assuming all goes to plan this is the game I really care about to see who we'll be playing in the AFC Championship Game. These two teams met up way back in week 4 in Pittsburgh. The Steelers absolutely destroyed Kansas City 43-14 on Sunday Night Football. I missed that game because I was on my way back from Big Papi's "final" regular season game. NBD. I really thought that was going to be a great game but the Steelers dominated. I think this time around in KC it will be a lot closer. This matchup is very interesting to me because these two teams couldn't be more apart. The Steelers have a scary good offense with two of the biggest play makers in the NFL in LeVeon Bell and Antonio Brown, but a pretty pedestrian defense. This is not your older brother's Steelers defense. Then you have the Chiefs, who's offense is pretty boring. They play 1960's football with Alex Smith and just hope Kelce or Tyreek Hill can break one open. They also have Andy Reid at the helm who despite being an NFL head coach for basically my entire life, does not know how to manage the clock. But the KC defense is legit, despite their performance earlier in the year. Also having a return guy like Tyreek Hill in the playoffs is lethal and could be the difference maker for Kansas City. He is a touchdown waiting to happen any time he touches the ball. It's like Devin Hester in 06 when he's back there returning kicks. It's not a very bold take, but this game to me is all about LeVeon Bell and Antonio Brown. If they're running wild like they did against Miami then the Chiefs are screwed. They don't have the fire power to win shoot outs. We'll know pretty early how this game is going to turn out. If the Steelers can get up two scores at any point it's probably over. I've gone back and forth on this one a ton. Both teams scare me in different ways but I really think the Chiefs find a way to pick up their first home playoff win since the 1993 season. They have the guys on defense to keep the Steelers in check and Big Ben has been horrible on the road this season. He's two different QBs on the road and at home. I just love Alex Smith and the style of football KC plays. It's very cool to see such a different style of football be successful in 2016 (17 now). The Final: Chiefs 26 Steelers 24 NFC Divisional Game: (4) Green Bay Packers 10-6 @ (1) Dallas Cowboys 13-3 Sunday January 15th 4:40 PM FOX The Dallas Cowboys have had a fantastic year. Everybody thought that Zeke Elliot would be a monster in the NFL. Not many thought he'd be the best RB in the league after one season. While the title may not be entirely his, he did lead the NFL in rushing yards as a rookie, no easy feat, even with the best offensive line in football. Dak Prescott on the other hand is shocking to me. I watched a lot of Dak in college. I didn't think he'd make it in the NFL. His accuracy in college never impressed me. I always called him the right handed Tebow but this year he did what he had to do. He helped lead the Cowboys to the best record in the NFC and probably will get some MVP votes. 23 touchdowns to 4 INT. Not bad for a 4th round pick who was expected to be Tony Romo's backup. Then you have the Green Bay Packers. At one point they were 4-6 and it looked like they'd miss the playoffs for the first time since 2008. Aaron Rodgers said after their final loss that they'd the table and make the playoffs. He was right. As the Packers won 6 straight to close out the regular season and made it lucky 7 in a row against the Giants in the wild card round. Despite no Jordie Nelson I expect the Packers to put up a lot of points, as I also expect that from Dallas. Even though it's not Romo I still have a hard time picking the Cowboys in the playoffs. They've won 1 playoff game since the 90's. ONE. Rodgers is on fire right now, what he's been doing reminds me so much of their 2010 Super Bowl run it's scary. I expect this to be a very fun game to watch in a back and forth affair. I believe whoever wins this game will represent the NFC in the Super Bowl. I feel like a loser picking all the home teams up until now so I gotta switch it up. I think this magical ride for Green Bay lasts at least another week. The Final: Packers 34 Cowboys 31 Next week I've got Chiefs @ Patriots in the AFC and Packers @ Falcons in the NFC. So I hope everybody enjoys Texans @ Steelers and Seahawks @ Cowboys. If we're being honest all the fan-made playoff pump up videos that are popular this time don't do a ton for me. It's usually the same highlights I've seen a hundred thousand times chopped up really badly with some music that is supposed to give me goosebumps. Some do but most don't. If you've seen one you've pretty much seen them all. But that gets thrown out the window when it's Tom Brady's own pump up video. Tom Brady puts asses in the seats. When Tom Brady talks, I listen. So what's he saying now? Apparently to be like water. Do I really understand what that means after watching that video and doing more extensive research on google? Barely. But it doesn't matter. If that's what Tom Brady thinks needs to be like water to get the New England Patriots a 5th Super Bowl Championship then I'm all in. So if you ask me how I'm feeling in the next month be assured, it's like water.
Song: Taper Jean Girl (Live on Letterman) Artist: Kings of Leon Album: Aha Shake Heartbreak (2005) Venezuelan Woman Arrested For Attempting to Break Her Boyfriend out of Prison in a Suitcase1/12/2017 Love definitely didn’t set this Venezuelan woman free! Antonieta Robles Saouda, 25, was arrested after she tried to break her boyfriend out of prison by stuffing him into a hot pink suitcase and wheeling him out, according to Central European News agency. She went to the Jose Antonio Anzoategui prison in Venezuela with her 6-year-old daughter to visit her lover, Ibrain Jose Vargas Garcia, with a plan to leave the facility as a happy family. But her prison-break plan was foiled when she struggled to push the overstuffed suitcase, prompting guards at the prison to inspect the luggage. When they unzipped it, they discovered Garcia curled up inside — contorting his long, lanky body into the bag that was also stuffed with some of his daughter’s toys. Garcia was immediately thrown back in the slammer, where he is already serving a nearly 10-year sentence for a car robbery. Saouda was also arrested and their daughter was taken into temporary custody by social services. Authorities snapped a photo of the solemn-looking lovers both in handcuffs with their pink escape mobile — Saouda looking sadly down at the ground while Garcia stares directly into the camera with a blank expression. They say love makes people do crazy things. You'll hear about people changing religion for a spouse, switching their entire faith for the one they love. Or people who will stay with their lover despite their entire family disapproving with risk of being shunned or excommunicated. Those pale in comparison to Antonieta Robles Saouda. This lady tried to sneak her boyfriend out of prison in a hot pink suitcase. This must of been Andy DuFresne back up plan had the whole hole in a poster thing and swimming through miles of shit not worked out. I'm sure people will laugh at Antonieta for this plan that seemed flawed from the start but not me. Nope, I'm a not so low key romantic and love stories like this. Sure they didn't make out but they say true love is blind, so I don't blame them for not seeing how this plan was doomed from the start. If only it wasn't hot pink I bet they would've made it. Hot pink is cocky ass move. Like you're throwing it in the guards face that you're planning an escape. Had it been a little more inconspicuous like black or blue I bet they would've made it. You go hot pink, you have to make it out. That's just the rules. But Antonieta can play for my team anyday. She is a ride or die, down ass chick. We need more of that in society nowadays. This isn't even her husband, it's her boyfriend. There ain't no ring, she didn't have to stay. Sure they have a kid but that doesn't matter. Her daughter could just be another kid with a step-dad, and nobody would've batted an eye. She had a pretty good excuse to leave this guy but didn't. That's love. This chick should be get praised for her loyality. Not thrown in jail for trying to pack her husband up like some vestidos. (Spanish for dresses, it's called culture, get some) She didn't have a ton of options, she just wanted to get her man out and thought this was the best chance. Struck while the iron was hot. And I applaud her for trying. I'd rather go down swinging then pulling a Carlos Beltran. |
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