I just finished writing this blog and then weebly just closed out and didn't autosave so I get to re-write this whole thing again.
I haven't been writing as much recently, I've been going through some shit personally and been kind of down about my future. I decided that next week (when schools re-open after February break) I am going to start subbing again. I haaaaaate substitute teaching, but I need to make some money in the meantime, so what better way to do that than go into the lucrative education field?
I just want everybody to know even though the amount of blogs on DOL per a weekly basis will be decreasing it in no way, shape or form means I'm giving up. I'm not. I just need to start planning for my future. I'm already 25 without a real job. As much as I know in my heart of hearts that if given the opportunity I'd thrive at barstool I also know it's a long shot and also something that isn't going to happen over night. So now I'm going to start subbing again and try to find something full time for the fall to try to be a real adult and hopefully move out and start enjoying life again. I'm still going to write when I have the chance but I will probably not be blogging every day.
I think in a weird way this is a good thing. I know I have done a lot of really, really good blogs that people have enjoyed ( Ik because they've told me) that are BSS quality. I know I have what it takes to make it, it's just whether or not that happens. I've also spent a lot of time writing frankly shitty, filler blogs just to get stuff out there. I don't like that, but it's part of the territory. Should I get my dream job someday that'll happen as not everyday is a great content day.
Now that I won't have as much free time to write I think it will focus me to do even better work since now when I'm subbing again I won't have time to write crappy filler blogs, when I write it's going to higher quality work (hopefully). Basically quality over quantity from this point forward. That's my goal. I've already written blogs for over a year, there's enough of my stuff out there. Now it's about using my time to write high quality blogs that can help me get hired.
Thanks for reading and supporting my cause so far. You have no idea how much I appreciate the support I've gotten up to this point. I just wanted to give an update for the future of this blog. I cannot thank the readers and supporters enough, thank you for reading. I hope from here forward things will only get better. Here's to whatever comes next.
Artist: Old Man Canyon
Album: Phantoms & Friends
Song: Sweetie Little Jean
Artist: Cage the Elephant
Album: Tell Me I'm Pretty
How sick is Julian Edelman's life?
Dude is a stud on the best team in the NFL, just made arguably the greatest catch in Super Bowl history, he's dating Adriana Lima and in his spare time he just messes around making youtube videos. Not too bad for a 7th round pick out of Kent State.
Bill Belichick and Julian Edelman were on Fallon last week after the Patriots won the Super Bowl. During the interview Jimmy said that Jules should start a seafood restaurant called "Edelman's Catch" after his insane grab in the Super Bowl.
Well, it look's like Julian took his advice with his latest youtube video. If you know anything about Jules off the field, you know that he loves to make youtube videos. Especially ones involving cooking, between "smoothietyme" and "burgertyme" Jules fancies himself not just as the best slot receiver in the NFL but also as quite the cook.
Check out one of Edelman's latest videos where he starts "Edelman's Catch"
Of all the videos Jules has posted this is one of the better ones. (Growing Pats will always be my favorite) For a football player who's had his bell rung for a living, Edelman's acting prowess isn't horrible. Plus with that huge beard right now he fit's the part of a fisherman perfectly. Dude looks like he belongs on the Andrea Gail.
Although I could just be mesmerized from the Hall & Oates. Veteran move by Jules to use such a catchy, fun song like Making My Dreams Come True. That song could make a video about autopsies fun. It's impossible to not smile when you hear that song. So yeah maybe I'm a little biased from my love of both Julian Edelman and Hall & Oates but I thought this video was one of Julian's best yet.
P.S. Absolutely love how Hall & Oates got in on the fun on twitter. Idc what music you listen to, if you don't like Hall & Oates you're crazy. Everything they've done is awesome.
I love memes....they're one of my like top 10 favorite things about being alive, they're so fucking funny. Love em. I doooon't know if the Valentine's day cards like this that athletes, actors, musicians & tv shows etc having been posting today are technically memes or not.... but it's just easier to refer to it as that, so that's what I'm doing.
Of all the ones I've seen today it's easily the best one. I love it, it just brought a smile to my face when I saw it. Everything about it perfect but mainly for these three reasons.
1.---- I honestly think he thought of this himself. It's just seems so wicked "Gronk" to me. Like I know a lot of celebrities social media accounts are run by team, but I really think this the work of Rob Gronkowski, I'll be kinda bummed it if's not. It'll break my heart if it's not tbh. Don't do that to me, not today, Rob. You know a guy who genuinely loves "69" jokes, like they may be his favorite thing in the world would make something like this using his name and 1000% the word he uses to refer to getting laid. Gronk is suuuuch a "let's smash" guy.
(Editors Note: I just saw the @NFLRT watermark on the pic when I was proof-reading and I'm absolutely devastated but I already wrote all that so damnit, it's staying. I mean I just did a midnight blog when I saw something good. Talk about Barstool material)
2---- It just seems so perfectly Gronk to wait until the last minute to post something that is time sensitive. He posted this "Gronk Smash card" with like a half hour to go on v-day. Just makes sense. It's fucking Gronk, seems like a real wait til the last minute guy. I bet those like 4 times he did work in college he did it the night before. Between football, girls and partying how could he have time to do work in college? Def was writing papers the morning of. That's not even a knock on Gronk, it's the reality of college sports..especially in Arizona (also kind of a knock on Gronk)
3---- Of all the memes I've seen today this is easily the best content wise because it's authentic. It perfectly uses "Gronk Smash" (which is totally a real phrase referring to his spikes) as an innuendo (Is it still technically an innuendo when it's that blunt?). Like you can say a lot of things in life that can be misenturpted, but if you ask someone if they'll let you Gronk Smash that's about as to the point as it gets. I saw some memes today where line's were changed. There was one of Michael Scott screaming "I DECLARE MY LOVE TO YOU" instead of BANKRUPTCY! Which is still alright it's just not as good to me. This is just the perfect card, no work had to be done.
So today is Valentine's Day.
Unlike other lonely singles losers like me, I actually don't hate today. Complete opposite in fact. Because truth be told ole Dozo is a (not so) low key romantic at heart. Someday an actual living woman will hopefully get to experience that. But the problem with that is I don't know if that's ever going to happen because of how bad I am at talking to woman (and all strangers in general).
I'm not one of those "woe is me" butthurt, mad at the world single people on Valentine's Day. I'm happy for my friends out there who have someone. I always root for love. What pisses me off more today is when I'll see fellow single people complaining about being single on social media. (Very ironic given the nature of this blog, but this is more about self help than complaining IMO). It annoys the shit out of me, especially when it's attractive girls doing it. Like do you realize you could have a man in 20 seconds if you wanted right? You're the girl, you have all the power. Maybe work on that personality? Idk. It's just so stupid to get so upset over a stupid fake holiday that was created by candy and jewelry companies. I don't like that side of Valentine's Day, but as a love guy I like the idea of it.
Don't get me wrong, I am a butthurt, mad at the world single person and today is Valentine's Day, but that's not the main reason why I am how I am. But that's a completely different story for another time.
For the 5th Valentine's Day in a row (holy shit time flies when you're not getting pussy lolol) ole dozo is a single man. I used to think being fat is why I have such problems with the ladies. While it definitely doesn't help my cause, this last year more than ever I've realized it's much deeper than that. It's because I have no game, because I've seen countless dudes who are either fatter or uglier than me with some good looking ladies. (Yes I know they could be rich, but when they're around my age I doubt that's the case)
I just straight up don't know how to talk to girls, which sucks because I'm pretty funny and from what I've read girls like that. I'm just an awkward dude, it blows. I've tried to advertise myself too but that doesn't work.
Still can't believe that didn't work.
I don't know what's wrong with me. I've even thought maybe there's something like actually wrong with me, like I should get my brain checked. I can barely even hold a fucking conversation with my best friends. How the hell am I supposed to approach strangers and convince them that getting with me is a good idea? That's just the thing too with talking to girls, I'm not a like hook up culture guy, I'm a connection guy, I don't want them to think I'm only there to try to fuck them, because that's not what i want. But what am I supposed to say "hey I think you're cute, wanna skip all the first steps and just watch netflix with me 4 nights a week in our PJs?"
I just don't know how to attack this issue. Being smooth and confident are arguably more important than being good looking. They are also probably the two things I lack the most in. I've tried to fake confidence but that's even worse because it's being fake, something I try to avoid. I always just thought because I was a fat fuck I had no chance with girls, it's really screwed with my confidence, then you throw in fucked up teeth and a crappy dick, it's honestly a miracle that I'm still alive.
But I've since realized that there are more factors than that that go into the equation. Not everybody is a shallow fuck. Which is cool, especially for man who looks like me. So my main question is how do I get game? Because I think it's the one thing holding me back more than anything else.
It's weird because I try to blog like as if I already made it. But truth be told probably 80% if not more of my readers at least know who me a little bit. So that can be awkward, like I'd really appreciate family to not read stuff like this, but fuck it I've already done enough to screw myself in my personal life so why not make the hole a little deeper?
It's weird because it's not like I'm a virgin, I dated someone on and off for around 3 years, but that started from a drunken hook up at a party. In high school the few girls I ever did anything with was set up by friends. I've hung out with a few girls from tinder and bumble since me and my ex ended shit for good, but nothing serious ever happens. I guess what I'm trying to say is I've never in my life like met someone randomly, struck up a conversation and asked her out. The idea of that almost gives me a panic attack.
But do I just have to get thrown into the fire and keep trying until something works? Just throw me into the deep end and hope I don't drown? Idk but I gotta switch it up because whatever I'm doing right now isn't working.
Is there a book I can read?
A class I can sign up for?
Ya boy needs help. I just need to figure out how to make something fucking happen. I don't care about being single today, I care about being single on all days. Your boy is 25 years old, and has had next to zero luck since my last (and only real) relationship. What do I do?
So that's it I guess, very personal but also kinda nice to get out of my system. How do I get game? I'd love some advice and help on the matter so that I do not die alone. Thx. I hope everybody has a nice Valentine's Day.
Keeping it nice and light today! Happy Valentine's Day!
Artist: Johnny Cash
Album: America IV: The Man Comes Around
(It sucks there isn't more clips from that episode of the Office because the Hilary Swank debate is a classic episode.)
Last night during the Grammys I was supposed to have a buddy of mine come over and watch with me, but after coming down with some sort of cold thanks to being outside in this shitty weather I had to rescind my invitation.
Instead we just texted back and forth all night like school girls talking about the Grammys. Very manly night. I honestly thought it was a decent show, just way too long. Amongst (did I use that right?) all the things that stood out to me, the biggest was Lady Gaga with Metallica. Sure the microphones didn't work which kinda ruined the performance, but that isn't what matters. What does is how I told my buddy I thought Lady Gaga was hot AF especially in her metal gear, it stole the show IMO. I believe my exact words were "I'd blow her" He said I was crazy, and gross for thinking that.
It immediately made me think of the Hilary Swank debate from the Prince Family Paper episode of The Office. Half the Office thought she was hot and the other did not and they spent a whole day elaborately debating that topic.
I feel like it's very low hanging fruit to compare me to Kevin Malone (at least I have hair) in this situation, except here unlike him with Hilary Swank I am defending Gaga's hotness, I get it in 2017 you'll get judged for making this point but I'm out here trying to defend Gaga. She's fucking sexy and doesn't deserve the hate. In this weird social climate we live in I as a fake blogger should be able to say this w/o negative repercussions. I understand if maybe you've been out of the loop recently and that the big lasting images you have of her are from her much weirder days but was years ago.
But if we're being honest even in the meat dress I still think she's hot.
Lady Gaga's weirdness and talent just add to her total package. She's a beautiful, gifted musician. She's unlike anybody else in music with her style and everything. I blogged about it last week how Gaga's comeback made me realize how big of a fan of her's I was without even realizing. lady-gaga-killed-it-last-night.html she's not your conventional hottie but it doesn't matter, there's just something about her. To me Lady Gaga is hot and I'll never be convinced otherwise.
The Super Bowl last week was when truly I realized that Gaga is hot.
And then the Grammys last night just solidified it for me.
I think the debate should be over. She's fucking hot. But it's far from finished, apparently many do not agree. What do you think? Is Gaga hot or am I crazy?
I'm just happy to see another one of my future co-workers is on the same side as I am. Throw this on the next barstool application.
So what do you think? Please vote and feel free to comment either agreeing or sharing your wrong opinion saying she isn't hot.
Jerry Sandusky's Son Arrested for Sexually Assaulting a Child. T's & P's For All With That Last Name.
Bellefonte, Centre County, Pa - Pennsylvania State Police arrested Jeffrey Sandusky, 41 and charged him with sexually assaulting a child. Sandusky is the adopted son of Jerry Sandusky, the former Penn State football coach who was convicted on multiple counts of child sex abuse.
Sandusky was arraigned on charges Monday afternoon in Bellefonte. His mother, Dottie Sandusky, was also at the District Magistrate's office.
Pennsylvania State Police began an investigation in November 2016 after a child claims to have received text messages from Sandusky, including some that asked for naked photographs.
According to State Police, Sandusky was dating the child's mother and had lived in the residence for about five years.
The explicit text messages where shared with the child's father, who then notified police.
According to the criminal complaint a second child was also abused dating back to 2013.
After learning on the alleged abuse, Sandusky was asked to leave the home.
Monday afternoon bail was set at $200,000.
Sandusky is prohibited from any contact with minors.
I'm not a "she was asking for it" guy because I think that's pretty messed up to say when dealing with a serious situation such as rape. But I mean can we be adults for a second? What the fuck is the mother of this child doing? She's almost as guilty as Jeffery is in my eyes. Leaving a child around a Sandusky is straight up asking for it.
Pre 2011 when I heard "Sandusky" it made me think of one of my favorite movies: Tommy Boy. It took place in Sandusky, Ohio. It was synonymous with laughing at Chris Farley and David Spade try to sell brake pads and save the company, while becoming great friends along the way.
But after the whole Penn St thing, Tommy Boy became an afterthought, as Sandusky basically became a synonym for didler. Sandusky was the face of child rape and diddling. Thousands of Priests were off the hook. It dominated the news for like an entire year. Nothing to joke about despite my efforts here. When someone says "Sandusky" almost everybody has the same image in their head. Everybody knows who he is and what he did.
So I have a few questions. Mainly this: how are you associating with the adopted child of this man? You don't think this guy is all fucked up too? Jerry Sandusky probably adopted this kid solely to diddle him. It might not be fair for the rest of his family, but with that name you're always going to be associated with what happened. I get it you don't want to lump together family members who share such a name with such a monster but it's just human nature. Like I'm sure Hitler must've had at least one cousin or something that was a good person but Adolf went and fucked that up for for him. Even if you're the coolest guy around, having that last name Hitler is hard to shake.
This guy is actually living up to the family name. He already also has a record for child abuse from 2013. How can you think nothing will happen? Leaving your kid with a Sandusky is like leaving your kid in a lion's den and being shocked when it becomes dinner from the lion. The mother of this child should've been in jail for child endangerment for moment she started dating this guy.
I feel badly for the probably thousands of decent people across the world who share this same last name. If the stain of Jerry Sandusky wasn't bad enough to ruin your last name now his stupid adopted son just had to make matters worse. So my biggest question is if your last name is Sandusky are you filing legal papers to change your last name before the sun goes down? It was a good run but you gotta know it's time to make the change. It sucks if that name means a lot to your family, but like yo you straight can't be walking around anymore with this name.
One huge rape scandal is bad enough, now with a second that will probably become a pretty big story in the upcoming days you have no choice. It's like how the name Adolf is extinct now. When you hear it, you think Hitler. When I hear Sandusky all I see is the old creepy men taking advantage of helpless kids. Now his son is in the family business. With that this name has to go. Gotta change it, idc, you can't be a Sandusky after today unless you don't care that all people with think about is the long line of diddling that goes with it.