Yesterday, I was doing what I do every Sunday from September-December, soaking in 7 hours of commercial-free football on NFL RedZone with Scott Hanson. During the Seahawks-Vikings game, I noticed how the score bug had changed from earlier in the day. As a company, Fox doesn't really care about what's best for its audience, so I know this blog will fall on more deaf ears than usual, but the Fox NFL score bug is, to quote its news' regarding any sort of pro-human rights policy...AN ABOMINATION! Now vital information like the quarter, down/distance, time remaining on the game, and play clock are blocked out on the RedZone broadcast
I was far from the only person to notice.
It's all speculation, but the fact that this change came between the 1 pm and 4 pm slate of games makes it seem like it happened with hopes of deterring people from watching RedZone over the Fox broadcast.
At least that's what the reply to my semi-viral (0 RT, 4 likes) tweet implied.
I'll give Fox all the credit in the world for introducing the full-time score bug in 1994 (whenever I watch old sporting events on Youtube, it blows my mind that information wasn't always readily available. I couldn't imagine watching basketball without the shot clock, baseball without the count, etc.) but I can't stand this current iteration of the Fox NFL score bug. Ever since its surprise debut for Super Bowl LIV, I've wished this bug would get smashed onto a windshield at 158 MPH. It takes up way too much screen real estate IMO.
I'm much more of a thinnish line directly on the top or bottom of the screen that doesn't take too much away from the frame kinda guy.
I can be flexible; if the current Fox score bug was in the corner away from the play, I could ease up on my existing windshield smashing stance.
RedZone added its own score bug to combat Fox's move to give viewers the blocked-out information, taking up even more screen space.
It's just a (potentially) petty ass move that I'll never get behind. The people need to fight back and get this wrong righted! I know all these companies need to worry about ratings and the bottom line, blah, blah, blah, but less than 2 million people watch games on RedZone. Sorry fans love the product so much they want to watch as much of it as possible, and NEWSFLASH, it's 20 mother fucking 21; most people are watching on multiple screens/streams. There are enough pieces of the pie for everybody, you greedy fucks. I watched Bucs-Rams on my laptop and RedZone on my tv, and I'm just a pleb with only two screens going; one of my buddies has four. Maybe if Fox and CBS broadcast more games, losing viewers to RedZone wouldn't be an issue. I expect everything to be back to normal next Sunday, although I might not get to catch much RedZone :D
— Doz #hiredozo (@DozonLife) September 25, 2021
P.S.
It's not all doom and gloom on the on-screen graphic front. Twenty-three years ago today, ESPN debuted the yellow first down line! As a 29-year-old football fanatic, I can't remember life without it. Thank you, ESPN, for being the worldwide leader in sports (23 years ago) and giving us this great gift (which, as we all know, is not official).
The yellow line has since evolved into the green zone for third down conversions
Image Source
and field goal target lines (sorry you got screwed again, Lions fans, that 100000% should've been a delay of game).
Double P.S.
If you are into the history of score bugs (aren't we all?), this video is worth the five minutes.
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Song: Jump (1983) Artist: Van Halen Album: 1984 Sorry, but I have to put my Semantics Police badge on for this one. Despite "Jump" being on the album 1984, which was released in January of 1984, the single for "Jump" came out on December 21st, 1983, so it's a 1983 song in my eyes. I was born in December of 91; I don't say I was born in '92 just because that's when a decent chunk of my family met me for the first time, as I vividly remember. That analogy might suck, but it's staying in! Given the image of The Falling Man and others who chose to jump over burning alive (I'd probably do the same thing), it's pretty fucking obvious how "Jump" earned a spot on the Clear Channel memo. Much like some other artists with only a few songs on the list I've written about this September, I'm a little surprised there wasn't more from Van Halen's catalog. "Running with the Devil" comes to mind almost immediately; I feel like "Jamie's Crying" could trigger some emotions in the wake of 9/11 as well. Hell, even "Finish What Ya Started" could've seemed like a troll to those who thought/hoped the first plane was an accident. It's not all bad news with today's SOD, I feel like I've heard this before, but seeing it on the Jump wiki page joggled my memory---I loooove that Hall and Oates basically said we don't care like Stephen A. in regards to Eddie Van Halen admitting he stole the "Kiss on My List" synth line and used it in "Jump." While I can see both sides of the argument regarding credit, I fall in the camp of art inspires other artists, and there are only so many chord/riff combos. Poor Olivia!
The teaser life is not for everybody. There's nothing more frustrating than having a leg or two hold you back from a nice +1000 payout (or higher if you use anything that's not the RI Sportsbook App). Week 1 #TML went 5-3, last week's edition went 6-2, both results were about as useful as a fork with a bowl of soup, but I'm thinking this week we skip the 7-1 step altogether and go right for 8-0.
This (and lil baby half-unit wagers) is why I'm not too concerned with an 0-2 showing on Thursday Night Football. I got those losses out of my system, so let's dive right into TML like Hayley Williams in a very underrated Paramore song.
Cardinals -2 (teased from -8)
The Cards got away with one last weekend, but it's the fucking Jaguars. I'm not wasting our time here. Kyler might drop a 50 burger. Urban ain't the guy!
Browns -1.5 (teased from -7.5)
Odell returns from his torn ACL today, but I think it's gonna be more of a ground and pound game from the Browns against a QB (Justin Fields) making his first career start. Control that clock! Cleveland is wearing these beauties today, which highly influenced my pick.
Chiefs -1 (teased from -7)
Everybody knows the stats about how the Chiefs don't cover and that I don't mess with the Chiefs (I can't stand Tyreek Hill or Travis Kelce), but I'm not going to let my hate stand in the way of a clear KC bounce back spot. I'm a big believer in Justin Herbert and would rather see the Chargers win, but gambling isn't about what you'd like to see happen; it's what you think is going to happen...and sometimes a case of mental gymnastics fading yourself. I just don't see the Chiefs losing two games in a row, even with their shaky defense. The Chiefs really can just "call the touchdown" play at will and going back to Arrowhead after a tough loss; I love the Chiefs in a -1 to get back in the win column.
Patriots +3 (teased from -3)
The Patriots have sneakily given up the 2nd fewest points in the NFL. While Jameis is the ultimate wildcard, I don't trust him against a Belichick defense. Plus, its fucking Julian Edelman day at Foxboro. They won't lose this game, but I expect it to be by 3 or less if they somehow do. I probably should've just teased the under.
Bills -1 (teased from Bills -7)
After dropping their home opener, the Bills are coming off of a 35-0 blow-out win in Miami; I love them to treat the home fans to a victory this afternoon. I feel like the media is dying to make Tyler Heinicke happen, but it's not going to happen. Also, WTF going on with the WFT defense? The Bills will be circling the wagons today!
Titans +1 (teased from Titans -5)
After an emotional comeback win in Seattle after an embarrassing Week 1 loss, the Titans return to the Music City to face the Colts. Carson Wentz is playing with two sprained ankles, if the Titans don't win this game they should have to finish out the year in the SEC in place of Vandy.
Ravens -1.5 (teased from -7.5) AND OVER 45 (teased from 51)
The Ravens are banged up coming off a huge win, which makes me think this is a little bit of a letdown spot, but it's the Lions. I respect what Dan Campbell is doing; this team doesn't give up, which is why I love the teased-over. I wouldn't be shocked to see the Lions up 10 early with the Ravens getting their shit together late.
This is our week, but always wager responsibly!!
Past weeks: TML 2021: Week 1 Week 2 TML 2020 Results: Week 2 and 3 Week 4; (Week 4 victory recap) Week 5; (booo Bengals) Week 6 Week 7; (Week 7 victory recap) Week 8 Week 9 Week 10 Week 11 Week 12 Week 13; (Victory recap) Week 14 Week 15; (victory recap) Week 16 Week 17 Song: Last Kiss (1964) Artist: J. Frank Wilson and the Cavaliers. Album: Last Kiss Of all the taboo "isms," the one I have the least amount of problems with is ageism. Now, this isn't some ringing endorsement to just start throwing old folks in the trash like they're Frank Reynolds; I'm a huge fan of my grandma. I'm just saying I can understand the reasoning behind it in principle. Sure, there are still plenty of sharp tacts out there, but let's not act like if you get on a plane and see that the pilot is in their mid-70s, you're going to feel safer. Anyways, despite what I just said, I feel bad for J. Frank Wilson and the Cavaliers. Their addition to the Clear Channel memo is a textbook case of ageism with a lil' dash of throwing salt in the wound. How is their 1964 "Last Kiss" cover on the list, but not the Pearl Jam version that was a little over two years old at the time of the attacks? I know classic rock stations existed, but Satellite radio was in its infancy at the time; was Clear Channel really that concerned that a then almost 40-year-old song that wasn't a staple of any radio format was going to all of a sudden get non-stop airplay? What I'm trying to say is that "Last Kiss" '64 would've gotten the same out of airplay regardless of the memo. It sounds like it was recorded in a phone booth. Now let's win some cash betting on the National Football League! Thank you to the tens of thousands who turned into #DozVsTheDozen VI and already heard my official picks for TNF, but since I'm a man of the people, I'm going to do those who didn't tune in a favor and give them not one, but two winners for a lackluster TNF match up. Usually, I'm a big + money only bet guy, but I'm taking OVER 43 -110. Anytime an O/U is under 44, I'm gonna take the over and hope for the best, but I actually have some stats to back this up.
Sam Darnold OVER 0.5 INT +100
Both bets are just a light TNF peppering at a half unit each. ALWAYS wager responsibly.
The greatest game show nobody's watching returns to Instagram/Dozonlife tonight at 7 PM. With ample alert time, I'm sure we'll break a viewer record. Sorry that I missed Tuesday's show; I was busy waiting for Orville Peck to take the stage at Fete.
I also apologize for misnumbering episodes of DozVstheDozen; I must've gotten a dozen angry letters complaining. Hand up, my bad---when I took From Megan 2 Kelly to the woodshed, that was actually #DozVsTheDozen V, not IV, which would make tonight episode VI. Again, my sincerest apologies. I thought I saved that episode to my camera roll, but IG fucked me, which may not be the worst thing...
With two great teams going at it tonight, this should be a fun test for Ole Dozo!
Again, I am at a disadvantage with no partners or the ability to compete in the bonus round, but it's all about having fun and showing people how smart my brain is with things that don't matter. I love trivia, and this is for the love of the game. I don't care if we get the standard two or 2,000 viewers. **Maury voice** We determined that was a lie. Eventually, the other episodes I have saved will get posted to Youtube, but for now, you can watch me compete LIVE, TONIGHT at 7 PM on IG/Dozonlife.
Song: Rock the Casbah (1982) Artist: The Clash Album: Combat Rock With today officially marking the final week of September, it'll soon be time to move on from the Clear Channel memo and paying homage to a 20-year-old list that I find incredibly compelling. On the bright side, I'll be able to open the DOL airways to whatever floats my boat, or in this case, doesn't knock down my building. I think that means it's time to finally bring my baby out of Development Hell to finally start making a name for myself on this fucking internet thing. ***Seamless transition towards that idea*** While The Clash is anything but a One Hit Wonder with their success, legacy, and influence, from a technical standpoint, "Rock the Casbah" is one of only two Clash songs to chart on the Hot 100 (and their highest-charting U.S. single peaking at #8). I know it's a politically focused song, but if I had to guess why it made the list, it probably had to do with all the foreign words referenced throughout the song. Tragically, ignorance and anger after 9/11 led to the rise of hate crimes against total innocent Muslims and even non-Muslim people (there's a famous example of a Sikh man being killed for wearing a Turban) in the wake of the attacks. So if people who had nothing to do with 9/11 were getting killed, of course, some radio idiots would ban a song with a couple of Arabic lyrics. As a punky-new wavish band, only two Hot 100 Hits for The Clash might've not been the most shocking news, but I was kinda surprised to see they even had two to begin with. What do you think was the other song to chart? The correct answer is "Train in Vain" off of London Calling (whose title track actually peaked at #30 on the U.S. Dance Charts); it peaked at #23 in 1980.
It's easy to make fun of a bottom-dwelling franchise, and sure, with only six winning seasons since moving to the desert in 1988, the Arizona nee Phoenix, nee St. Louis, nee Chicago Cardinals (I tried doing the accent but Weebly can't handle it) certainly fall into that category, but that's not what this blog is about.
With a quarterback as dynamic as Kyler Murray, the Cardinals have a future so bright that Timbuk 3 might write a song about it, but their recent win over the Minnesota Vikings brought a truly shocking stat to the forefront. Again, the Arizona Cardinals have only six winning seasons since moving to Arizona in 1988. If I wanted to be a real dick, I could mention how their last winning season in St. Louis came in 1984 when they went 9-7 and missed the playoffs; so it's actually six winning seasons since 1985 (which was 36 years ago....CC: Chicago Bears), but there's no reason to kick a franchise when its down....especially when the Cardinals are soaring! What the Cardinals have lacked in "victories" they've more than made up with upper elechon pass-catchers, at least since I started following football. David Boston had two great seasons for the Cardinals in 2000 and 2001. Of course, there's the future HOFer, NFL 100 All-Time Teamer Larry Fitzgerald, who, with the help of Anquan Boldin (2003 Offensive Rookie of the Year), caught the 2008 Cardinals all the way to the Super Bowl. People may forget that that team had a third 1,000-yard receiver in Steve Breaston. The 2015 Cardinals featured Michael Floyd and John Brown, both had a 1000 yard season in Arizona ('13 for Floyd, '15 for Brown). Currently, the Cardinals have one of the deepest WR cores in the NFL, highlighted by DeAndre Hopkins. The thing is, all those pass-catchers were wide receivers. On Sunday, Cardinals TE Maxx Williams had 94 yards on seven receptions (good for 12.9 in half-point PPR league), which brought attention to a genuinely jaw-dropping stat about this vagabond franchise. It's been a WHILE since a Cardinal TE recorded a 100-yard game. What's a while, you might ask? Well, the Arizona Cardinals haven't had a TE break the century mark in receiving yards in a single game since November 12th, 1989, when Rob Awalt had six receptions for 105 yards in a 24-20 win over the Cowboys (who went 1-15 in 1989).
For a historical comparison, the Berlin Wall fell on November 9th, 1989. So that Thursday, the Iron Curtain started to open, then on Sunday, the most recent 100-yard performance for an Arizona Cardinal TE took place.
While the collapse of a communist regime is one thing, I think the Texans caveat makes this stat even more shocking (an actual "WTF stat" indeed!). It's not like the Cardinals are one of---- let's say, six teams that have gone 20+ years without a 100-yard game by a tight end. Nope, they're the only team in NFL that can claim they've seen the 90s, 2000s, 2010s, AND that lovely year, 2020, go by without a TE reaching triple digits. We're talking well over 500 games. With all the losing the Cardinals have done over the years how does this happen? There wasn't ONE tight end who fell into a 100-yard game by mistake?
Maxx Williams did not record 100 yards last week, but he did become the first Cardinals TE since Robert Awalt in 1989 to have a > 90-yard game. I still can't believe this is an actual, factual stat. That's three full decades and then some!
It gets even worse.
Only five tight ends have had over 80 yards in a single game for the Cardinals since 1989. There wasn't a single Cardinal TE with 80+ receiving yards in a game from Week 10 of the 1989 season to Week 11 of the 2012 season. No Cardinal TE had a game with over 80 yards during Brett Favre's entire career.
And yes, I know what you're thinking, "what about the playoffs, Dozie?" Well, unlike life for LGBTQ+ teens, according to a 2010 PSA, it does not get better.
Not to throw salt in a lack-of-tight-end-production-wound, but since 1989, including the playoffs, the Arizona Cardinals have only played TEN games where a tight end recorded 70 or more receiving yards. As the previous graphic will show you, these were all regular-season games. (S/O Rob Housler)
I'm sure you're curious because now I am too, and since I'm paying for this stathead membership, I might as well get some use out of it----since 1989, the most receiving yards a Cardinals TE recorded in a playoff gme is---42 yards. I know the Cardinals aren't exactly a perennial playoff team, but in 11 playoff games between 1998-2015, only three saw a TE even eclipse 30 receiving yards.
As a Patriots fan, I know how lucky I was to watch Gronk for parts of nine seasons, IMO he's the greatest TE ever to play the game, but I saw how gross an offense with no tight end production could be last year. This got me to thinking, am I being too hard on the Cardinals? Sure they haven't had even pedestrian single-game outputs from their TEs, but what about over the course of 16 games?
Well, I even went a year back before Dan Awalt's 105-yard game vs. the eventual 1-15 Cowboys to the Cardinals first year in Arizona. Since 1988, the Arizona/Phoenix Cardinals have only had seven tight ends finish a season with over a modest 400 receiving yards. Two of those seven tight ends played in 1988. So not to flex my math skills too hard, but only five tight ends have eclipsed 400 receiving yards for the Cardinals since 1989.
No Cardinal tight end has finished a season with over 600 receiving yards since Doug Marsh had 608 yards in 1984. He's literally the only person not named Jackie Smith to ever have over 600 receiving yards in a single season while playing TE for the Cardinals franchise.
I know the game has shifted to a much more pass-happy product over the last 15 years, but since 1989, there have been 268 instances of a tight end recording over 600 receiving yards in a single season. Zero have been Arizona Cardinals.
Ironically, a tight end named Ben Patrick scored one of the Cardinals three touchdowns in Super Bowl XLIII.
His final stat line in Super Bowl XLIII: One reception for one yard and one touchdown. Ben Patrick played for the Cardinals from 2007-2010 and retired with 45 receptions for 445 yards and four touchdowns, although, to be fair, he scored two playoff touchdowns.
I wouldn't say I like bringing negative attention to one of the lower-tier franchises in all sports, but these stats have blown my 29-year-old mind. You didn't think you'd get a whole blog without me shoehorning myself into the mix, did you? Well, yes, not only have the Cincinnati Bengals never won a playoff game at any point in time where I'm breathing; oh shit, I didn't mean to bring them into this, but I have never seen a Cardinal TE record a 100-yard game. I've seen the Cubs and Sox of the Red and White variety break decade upon decade upon decade title curses, but never a Cardinal TE break 100 yards in a single game. With Kyler Murray having so many mouths to feed in that Cardinal offense, perhaps Maxx Williams or another TE on the roster could snap this seemingly impossible streak; with all the focus on the WRs, it could open up some favorable matchups. However, since Maxx Williams' 94-yard game is literally the most for Cardinals TE in over 30 years, I think it's fair to mention that while the stat sheet says he had seven targets, it was really six. Proper analytics would say Maxx Williams had seven receptions on six targets for 94 yards.
Say that play doesn't happen and Maxx Williams ends up with 34 fewer yards, leaving him with only 60 yards for the game, does WTFstats have a reason to bring up that stat? Who knows? Personally, I doubt it.
I'm having a tougher time thinking of a fitting conclusion for this blog than a Cardinals TE has breaking 100 yards, so I'll end with a little more information on this Rob Awalt (the Rob Gronkowski of Cardinal TEs) fellow. Despite his 105 performance against the eventual 1-15 Dallas Cowboys, Rob Awalt ended his 1989 season with just 360 receiving yards and one interception??
P.S.
Even though it happened as a Cowboy, Jackie Smith, one of the greatest players in Cardinals' history, was on the wrong end of one of the most famous drops in NFL history (even though Roger Staubach will say to this day it wasn't a great pass). Bless his heart! Song: In the Air Tonight (198x) Artist: Phil Collins Album: Face Value Even if I'm already over this bit, its going down all September long.
Pretty much everybody on earth except for John Mara agrees that the NFL's new taunting enforcement is horrible. Sadly, since his grandfather founded the New York Football Giants in 1925, he has the power to ruin the game that made his entire family rich beyond their wildest dreams. Only in America!
If you're unfamiliar with the story since I didn't blog it when the news broke in August, John Mara, a 66-year-old blanco fossil who looks like human Pez Dispenser, said he doesn't like taunting, so he used his power to eliminate it from the game.
John Mara is on the NFL's competition committee and basically flexed his surname muscles to get this rule enforcement changed.
via: Sporting News
The competition committee is comprised of Mara, Cowboys executive Stephen Jones, Packers president Mark Murphy, Falcons president Rich McKay, Ravens executive Ozzie Newsome, Broncos executive John Elway, and head coaches Mike Tomlin, Sean Payton and Ron Rivera. Traditionally selected by the commissioner, the competition committee suggests rule changes for owners, who have to vote on the rules during the year. The question remains: Where are the players in all of this? The composition of the committee, though, is curious: You'll find that nowhere in that group is an active or recently retired NFL player. While Newsome and Elway both make the panel, they played in a much more buttoned-down era of the sport. Not giving more of a voice to players to operate with players in mind seems a bit backwards. Bias works both ways, after all. In any case, the NFL is going to focus a bit more on taunting this year, taking some heated moments out of the game, and Mara will have his way in pushing the NFL towards the No Fun League again.
The only taunting penalty I agree with is spinning the ball after a first down. I can't stand that (it's a step below DeShaun Watson signaling for a first down when he's on the wrong side of a 21-0 playoff game). It slows the game down and is the antithesis is of swag. If you wanna do that after scoring, it's a whole 'nother story, but I'm 1,000% cool with it being a penalty. It's not an emotional play; it's just a guy, for lack of a better word...taunting.
But unlike the vast majority of NFL players, "taunting" is not black and white. There are plenty of gray areas when it comes to what is now considered taunting. As someone who played high school football and was a key returner going into my senior year AND a key loss after our 1-7 season, I know a thing or two about football being a highly emotional game. Let them fucking show it. These are grown men who dedicated their lives to scrambling their brains and tearing their knees like tissue paper for our enjoyment in the NFL every Sunday, Monday, Thursday, and sometimes late in the year, Saturday. If they want to flex or talk a little shit, I say have at it. Even Bill Belichick believes in showing emotion after a big play.
This clip has been making the rounds online and shows all the ridiculous calls from just yesterday alone. Ironically the first clip is a ball spin, but after that, it's pretty tame.
After the NFL started allowing celebrations again, literally putting a celebration cam in the endzone, it felt like the No Fun League was taking a step in the right direction. Now it's 15 yards in the wrong one for being excited. These are game altering penalties that are ruining the on-field product. Do we want robots out there? (I'm sure they're coming at some point, but hopefully long after I die sometime in the 2040s). They're trying to legislate emotion out of the game and everybody should be against that. First they killed my fist-bump.I'm pro-taunting from an entertainment and storyline standpoint, but I get the B.S. excuse "what about the kids?" because that's been a go to excuse for people who don't want to take 10 minutes to talk to their children and explain something since the beginning of time. Tell high school Harry if he gets to the NFL he can taunt all he wants, but for now it's about learning the fundamentals.
Who do I blame for all of this? Mr. Scumbag himself, Tyreek Hill. They say to never retaliate, that it's always the second guy who gets in trouble and that couldn't be more true with taunting enforcement. Since Bucs safety Antoine Winfield, Jr. chucked a deuce up at a "man" who choked his pregnant girlfriend in college at the Super Bowl, I feel like taunting has a higher profile.
It made for great theater after Hill did the same thing in Winfield's face during Week 12 when the Chiefs beat the Bucs 27-24.
I'm sorry, but that was poetic justice. Tyreek Hill deserves to be embarrassed and belittled on a national stage. I bet everybody outside of Kansas City loved it. Honestly, I bet he had teammates who got a laugh (if they already had a ring from 2019). If Hill didn't embarrass Winfield, he wouldn't never retaliated in February. Yet again, Tyreek Hill gets away with it. In short, these penalties stink on ice, and John Mara, don't let your old fogey-ness ruin the game that gave your family **Chris Traeger voice** literally everything. If you don't like taunting, look the other way.
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