Previous Dozie's Brain Dumps:
April 24th, 2023
July 10th, 2023
August 9th, 2023
October 10th, 2023
February 29th, 2024
March 11th, 2024 
April 10th, 2024
May 1st, 2024

Long time, no write. Full disclosure, your dude had five Jack & diets tn and am on my sad boi swag after getting quasi-dumped by the latest fly in my web.

TBH, I'm not stressing too much. It just sucks to hear that when every chick I meet is like, "You're so great, but I don't wanna ever see you ever again!" Would've been nice to make out a little tonight, but my heart's been focused elsewhere since late February. Nothing else matters until that is resolved, and I've been terrified to make a move. My indecision is eating me alive, but I don't know what to do. There have been plenty of signals that make me think there could still be something there, but I'm also trying to move on. I've tried to move on, like I didn't give another chick the time of day until July. Still, I would give anything for another chance to hang out with this incredible woman, and I genuinely believe we have what it takes to make it (even after only hanging out twice). She's taken up the bulk of my brain's real estate this year. I'm so torn on how to handle this situation and probably shouldn't be writing about it rn, especially while safely buzzed at home, but fuck it. I miss her so fucking much and hate myself for being too scared to truly go for it (in fear of how it'll affect me going forward).

I can't hold it anymore like my pee on a road trip. I'm not ashamed to say I love and miss her more than I've ever missed anything. If I had 10 minutes to live, I'd want to spend them with her. Who knows if she'll see this...nobody reads DOL, and I've abandoned my Barstool dreams, so what is the point...at this point? IDK. I still love writing and always will, but it feels like a waste, even though I know it's not. I'm just so worn down by how fucked up humanity is and am fucking TERRIFIED of what's gonna happen next week. I have a terrible feeling that Kamala is gonna win the popular vote but lose the antiquated AF electoral college, and then we're all stuck living in the Gilead. Should that happen, I want OUT. By any means necessary.

Am I even gonna post this? Like who actually cares? I could write the most profound blog in the history of humanity and at max, like 28 people would see it. Fuck...I don't wanna be on my Debbie Downer swag, but I'm just being honest and ya boi is hurt-TING. That's one of the biggest reasons I've barely written the last few months...that, and I'm so focused on my #everydaydoz swag. Today was 214 straight *fire emoji*.

At least I'm looking good-to-better.

I'm doing countless things I desperately wanted to over the last few years, yet it's still not enough. Your dude is unhappy AF. I feel so alone and like life has passed me by. My self-worth is so jaded, and I'm so over living in a country where like 49% of the population is too stupid (by design) to understand who's truly at fault for all of the ills of society.

Also...fuck the Yankees. Sucks2suck and FUCK John Henry FOREVER.

I am soooo over the MAGA pearl-clutching. They're literally supporting a fascist regime, but cry when the left fights back.

The balls on these fascists to cry about "rhetoric" when they say shit like this....

This race really is good vs. evil. Kamala isn't perfect, but the new right is full-fledged fascist. Oohhh how far America's Mayor has fallen!

Bret, you are 100,000% garbage.

On the bright side, I'm a full-ass real teacher now...no more long-term subbing, which is another reason I haven't blogged much lately. All my free time is dedicated to the gym, sleep, and going OFF against the computer in Madden to feel good for a few minutes a night. Don't get it twisted; I'd still happily write for Barstool, but that is no longer the end-all, be-all dream of my life like it was for the last 8ish years. 

I just want a just country (and planet) for all. I refuse to accept the horrors of humanity and know there is a possibility of something better. I guess this is it for my drunken brain dump. I'll talk to you in December.

Surprise! The boi is back...just in time to get an official October 2024 blog out. Sorry for the lack of writing this year...it'll come up in the next post.