Sorry for being in such a good mood, but I'm officially on a 5-day weekend. LFG!! It's Tuesday, which means the return of America's favorite forgotten fake game show, #DozVsTheDozen. #DVTD turns legal today as this is the 21st edition of a show that its viewer is calling "a game show."

Despite it being a holiday week full of travel and awkward conversations about Kyle Rittenhouse, Jeff D. Lowe, and the great people behind The Dozen are still giving us two episodes this week. That means you, the DOL viewer (whom I'm incredibly thankful for), will still have two chances to watch me compete against my future coworkers.

Tonight's match-up is missing one of the best players in the league, Kirk Minihane. However, it's still an incredible match-up (on paper) as we've got (1) Team Minihane taking on defending champion (3) Big Screamin' Honkers in a "Battle for the Crown" (new this gimmick season).

No Kirk is a 2010 Lebron-type loss for Team Minihane, but as a probable future suiy guy, I wholeheartedly support Kirk's absence to focus on his mental health. I've been a Kirk fan since he was at EEI and give him all the credit in the world for being so open about his struggles. It's okay to not be okay! Take all the time you need, Kirk; Ole Dozo loves you!

Tonight's match is a "battle for the crown," which means Honkers will automatically take the #1 ranking with a win. I can't speak to Quiggs' trivia acumen, but there's only one Kirk Minihane. Hopefully, this means no golf shit for the niche round. My lines have been terrible, the books have been getting killed, but with no Kirk, this match that would probably be a pick-em becomes Honkers -4.5. I'm expecting a bloodbath, which means Team Minihane will somehow win.

If you missed Thursday night's special Peoples Temple Memorial Trivia Bowl edition of #DozVsTheDozen, it's up on the youtube machine for your viewing pleasure.

Unfortunately, #DVTD XIX is still in the chamber. Due to technical difficulties, I had to cut it into two pieces and still haven't had a chance to splice it together and give it a lookover. With 5-days away from the hell hole that is "the creative capital" school district, I promise it'll be up soon.

As for tonight, it's like a Friday for your boy, so two Bud Lights might sponsor this match. As always, the show starts at 7:05 pm EST. There's only one place to catch #DVTD LIVE, and that's at INSTAGRAM/DOZONLIFE.

That's www.instagram.com/Dozonlife

I can't wait to see you there. Please respect the game and don't answer questions in the comments! #HireDozo

​Today's SOD is brought to you in part by the 2022 Grammy Nominations. Congratulations to Best New Artist nominee Glass Animals! They're so new that this nearly eight-year-old song has only 75 million combined Youtube views!

​As America continues its democratic backslide, it's easy to get worked up about evil people abusing power and a general population that's too ignorant to recognize the warning signs due to failing schools. But it's Thanksgiving week! It's time to be thankful and reflect. 

​I'm thankful that we no longer have to deal with state-sponsored rationing like back in the good old days of multiple World Wars. We got a glimpse of it during Covid with TP hoarding, but nothing compares to the late 1910s and early-mid 1940s rations. Those days weren't easy and sure as heck weren't perfect (Jim Crow, single women not being allowed to open a bank account, legislated homophobia, etc.), but one relic of the 20th century that's missed today is Americans rallying together for the greater good. Could you imagine trying to institute a meatless Monday today? People who can't define communism would be screaming communism faster than you could say, Red Rover.

During both World Wars, Americans rationed food and materials to support the war efforts. While WWI rations were "voluntary" in the way that voluntary mini-camps are "voluntary" in the NFL, during WWII, national rations were officially set after the Emergency Price Control Act (1942). The EPCA gave Americans clear restrictions and required the use of official coupons to purchase things like sugar and dairy products.

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​But it wasn't only food getting rationed. There were restrictions with materials like rubber, nylon, and wool too. This (and general racism) led to the "Zoot Suit Riots" in 1943.  If you're unfamiliar with 1930s & 40s fashion, Zoot Suits were baggy suits with exaggerated lapels that looked like what you'd see at the 2003 NBA Draft​

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Jazz singers like Cab Callaway made zoot suits famous; he's credited with calling them "totally and truly American."

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During WWII, zoot suits were considered wasteful of valuable materials and often caused "issues" between the people wearing them and those who were offended by their very existence, seeing them as unpatriotic.

America still has miles to go socially, but that doesn't mean it's not okay to take a second to reflect where we currently stand. Let's not even touch how the sweater is pink because the idea of colors being tied to gender identity is outdated, but I mean that doesn't change that 80 years ago you could've gotten killed for wearing a pink sweater, even at a normal size. Be thankful that (for now) there are no legal restrictions on how much material you use. Look at how much we've advanced as a society when a mixed-race man feels confident enough to wear this to work without fearing for his life! yayyyy bare minimums!

Kyle Kuzma is 6' 10" with a 7-foot wingspan which conservatively means we're looking at an 11 XL sweater with two (2) four and a half foot sleeves. Eighty years ago, this man would've gotten beaten for supporting fascism by wearing intentionally big clothes. Now it's considered fashion with a side of obviously looking for attention, which I'll gladly give because this sweater is fucking hilarious. This type of excess and apathy towards practicality is what being an American is all about! He might as well be baking an apple pie and cheating on his taxes. Rock, flag and Eagle!

P.S.

Everybody and their mother referenced the easy Lenny Kravitz comparison, and since I too know of his rug-scarf, I have to refer to it, too.

Here's a photo I posted on my personal IG (lucky you!) back in 2018 of me rockin' a ridiculous scarf that a member of my family wore to the beach. THE BEACH!

​​This past September 11th marked 20 years since the heinous 9/11 terrorist attacks that forever altered this nation. Last Thursday was the 43rd anniversary of the Jonestown Massacre, and today is the 58th anniversary of John F. Kennedy's assassination. Regardless of where you fall on the political spectrum, I think calling those events tragic is more than fair. Yet whenever we acknowledge the time that's passed since those incidents, we use the same word we do to recognize past weddings and graduations. As a writer with a minimal grasp of the language I write in, it makes little to no sense to me. Whenever I use the word "anniversary" to reference an adverse event, it feels a bit off, like the party of "family values" voting against universal pre-K and parental leave.

According to Merriam-Webster, technically, "anniversary" has no negative or positive connotation. 

But let's just play a quick ​game of word association. Ready?

​
Anniversary.

What'd you say? Was it wedding, maybe graduation? It's not a perfect test, it's still in the beta stages, but as a blogger with a following that could comfortably fit inside a Chipotle, I understand that this could be another one of my takes with literally zero support. Still, the definition I included that uses the word its defining brings up a great point. I understand that "the annual recurrence of a date marking a notable event" has no negative or positive connotation, but "the celebration of an anniversary" does. Let me ask you something. When's the last time you celebrated an attack or death? Hopefully, it wasn't in the first week of January...

Maybe I'm just splitting hairs and making things a little too tricky because good and bad are subjective, and using a catch-all word to recognize significant dates is easier for everybody, but language is ever-evolving. Merriam-Webster added 455 new words to its dictionary last month, including: air fryer, dad bod, and faux-hawk (which feels about 15 years too late). Are you telling me we couldn't create a term for a negative anniversary?
​
It seems like every few months, a new article of words with no English equivalent goes viral. After eight minutes of research, I still haven't found a non-English word for "negative anniversary," but there's a Japanese word that goes a step above butter face. Details matter!

Now I'm no linguist; I'm just an idea man, but it'd be pretty shitty of me to end this blog without throwing a couple of ideas out there to (potentially) fix this problem. I cannot be the only person on earth who thinks this is an issue. A word like commemoration doesn't work because it has a clear cut "honoring" connotation, but instead of saying "the 12th anniversary of her death" or "31st anniversary of the fire," try these on for size.

-Departure Day (This is the 4th departure day since my cat got run over by that Telsa)

-Commiserdaytion (I can't believe next April 15th is the 9th commiserdaytion of the Boston Marathon Bombing)

-Oops-a-day-see (Last Monday was the 5th oops-a-day-see of when I dropped my twins)

​-Condolence Countdown (There's no way this is the 11th condolence countdown since your mom shot your dad, then killed herself; I would've guessed 8th)

​-Massacre Mark(s) (2019 was the 100th massacre mark of the attacks on Black Wall Street)

-Adversisary (Every year Michael Jordan recognizes the adversisary of when he was cut from his high school basketball team and how it motivated him to be great)

-Badiversary (2021 was the 10th badiversary of Rebecca Black's "Friday")

-Sadiversary (It's the 8 month sadiversary of my boy/girl/they friend dumping me)

-Madiversary (signifies the anniversary of an event that makes you mad)
 
-Bummerversary (Every March 17th is the bummerversary of Tom Brady leaving the Patriots)

-Negiday (could be dangerous depending on your accent)
​

I'm not saying these are home runs, but nothing needs to be written in stone right now; we can continue to workshop. All I know is that saying "anniversary" to acknowledge the date of your son's graduation AND murder doesn't sound right. Don't you agree? ​What's a word or phrase that you think would make a better term than anniversary to acknowledge a tragedy? Please sound off in the comments!

Ocean Alley exudes positive vibes, which are necessary on a dark day like today (the Dozah "anniversary" of the JFK assassination. Conversion chart: one Dozah=58). R.I.P.

After last week's teaser went 7-1, this is our mantra going into Week 11.

​Personally, I don't love the fact that #TML hasn't hit this season, but the worst thing we can do is stop now. What are you gonna do? Walk away when you're down double-digit units? How do you ever expect to bounce back? A win today, and we're even on the year. That's the beauty of the +1000 teaser. All we need is two hits to be profitable for the entire season. It's a long play, and we're well overdue. I do not love the board, and based on the coldness of my bets this year, I wouldn't tail if I were you, but that's also precisely why you should. We're breaking teaser rules today, gotta do whatever it takes to catch a W.

Good luck and always wager responsibly! 

Song: I Did It (2001)
Artist: Dave Matthews Band
Album: Everyday

After an incredibly impressive +47U 2020 season, the Too Many Legs Teaser of the Week is 0-10, -10U. There's no sugar-coating that, even though last week #TML went 7-1 for the second time in a month. With no week worse than 5-3, I'm close. We're a break here or there away from at least one win. It's not like I've been giving out 2-6 tickets every week. Sure they're all losers, but sometimes it's about the process. In the 70's when the Raiders were consistently one of the best teams in the NFL but seemingly lost in the AFC Championship Game every year, John Madden said it best, you don't panic.

The vibes need to remain positive. We won't even begin to think about the possibility of an 0-17 year. No way. Today's the day. 

In 12ish hours I'll get to say, "I did it! The streak is over; TML finally hit!" oooooor **Dave Matthews voice** "I did it, my teaser lost again."

I apologize for the late posting!!! I had an appointment with my shrink. It's okay to not be okay!!!

After a resounding win last Thursday, Tuesday's episode (#DVDT XIX) of #DozVsTheDozen was a complete disaster. I talked myself out of a point during celebrity mash-up and never recovered. I only put up 8 points. Trivia is a lot like being a relief pitcher; you need a short memory to survive. I have to put Tuesday behind me. Even though it's not up on Youtube yet, it will be. I've just been busy with my "real" job and haven't had a chance to rewatch and piece the video back together since it's two clips due to some technical difficulties.


Luckily, the Patriots play tonight, and I'm playing for something bigger than myself in #DozVsTheDozen XX.

That's right; it's November 18th; you already heard the SOD and know what's going on like Marvin. It's the 43rd anniversary (I haaaate using that word for adverse events...I need to invent a negative version of anniversary) of the Jonestown Massacre, and I'm dedicating tonight's performance to the over 300 children and hundreds of adults who were MURDERED at Jonestown against their will by a sadistic cult leader. The last time I dedicated my performance to someone, I tied while playing for my future boss, Dave Portnoy's honor (#DVDT XVI).

Tonight's matchup should be an excellent appetizer to Thursday Night Football. We've got (7) Experts vs. (10) Uptown Balls in a match where you can throw the records out the window. I can't set a line to save my life, so the over/under is 19.5 points.

Will Ole Dozo let the victims of Jonestown down with a tie like he did while playing for El Pres' honor, or can he get back in the win column for the second time in three matches? The only way to find out is to tune in LIVE. Where can you watch #DozVsTheDozen XX: The Peoples Temple Agricultural Project Memorial Trivia Bowl at?

Only at: INSTAGRAM/DOZONLIFE

That's www.instagram.com/Dozonlife

#DozVsTheDozen XX: The Peoples Temple Agricultural Project Memorial Trivia Bowl starts at approximately 7:05 PM. I can't wait to see you there. Don't drink the Kool-Aid!

Song: September (1978)
Artist: Earth, Wind and Fire
Album: The Best of Earth, Wind and Fire, Vol. 1

​November 18th, 1978, is one of the saddest days in American history. Over 900 people lost their lives at the Peoples Temple Agricultural Project in Jonestown, Guyana. Until 9/11, the Jonestown Massacre held the dubious record of the largest loss of American lives in a non-natural disaster/war.  Suppose you still aren't super familiar with this story, you'll be in luck at some point in the next 1-3 years as Leonardo DiCaprio is set to star as Jim Jones in a film about the cult leader, The Peoples Temple, and Jonestown. The Jonestown Massacre gave us the phrase "drinking the Kool-Aid" slash "don't drink the Kool-Aid." Not so fun fact: the Jonestown victims were actually poisoned with a Kool-Aid knock-off called "Flavor-Aid."

Tonight, you'll learn even more about Jonestown during #DozVsTheDozen XX, aka the Peoples Temple Memorial Trivia Bowl. Despite the utter tragedy that took place on that fateful Saturday evening, there was something beautiful to rise out of the ashes on 11/18/1978, and that ladies and gentleman is arguably the greatest song of all time, Earth, Wind & Fire's September. November 18th, 1978 was also David Ortiz's 3rd birthday! Happy Birthday, Papi!!!

​Tom Brady's "Man in the Arena" docuseries that tells the story behind every one of his ten (10) career Super Bowl seasons debuted last night on ESPN+, and it did not disappoint. We learned that Tom Brady was scared in the AFC Championship Game against Pittsburgh. Willie McGinest broke down his penalty that prevented Super Bowl XXXVI from becoming a blowout. Drew Bledsoe told heartfelt truths about how difficult the 2001 season was for him. The ski lift story hit hard, but this is not a recap blog. My future coworker (unless he dies of old age before I'm #HireDdozo), Jerry Thornton, has that covered.

I'm here to talk about one of my favorite things: flow, lettuce, salad; in case you didn't play high school lacrosse, that means hair. 

I'm a hair guy and specifically a long hair guy. Ever since I was a kid, I always thought people looked better with some length and hated short hair. I had to fight for my right to flow growing up, which parlayed with the post-covid world, anxiety and my hashtag good guy-ness (I promise I'm going to donate it at some point) is why I'm currently rocking two-plus feet of luscious flow. 

I've only said it like 900 times on DOL, but in case this is your first dive into Dozo, I was in 4th grade when the Patriots won Super Bowl XXXVI; I turn 30 in less than a month (puke emoji), so Tom Brady's been in the NFL for 2/3s of my life. He's had plenty of different looks along the way, and they haven't all been home runs, or in his case, touchdowns, but also home runs because you know he got drafted by the Montreal Expos too??? But who doesn't love looking at old photos with funny of-the-era hairstyles? During a montage of his college days, we were blessed with this quintessential 90s curtain look for at the time, TB10.

Unfortunately, that screenshot feels more 1890s than 1990s and doesn't do that Shawn Hunter special justice, but Tommy Boy sure improved from whatever the hell this was from his younger UM days. It 's like a TikToker meets Joe Mauer.

​I keep having to stop myself from typing "Tom vs. Time," but with MAN IN THE ARENA ep. 1 starting at the beginning of Brady's journey...it's impossible to tell that story without Drew Bledsoe, and we got a ton of Drew in epi 1. Patriot fans know, but for viewers that didn't minor in NFL Films, there was some necessary backstory of how good he was in the 90s. Tom Brady made the Patriots one of the premier organizations in American sports, but Drew Bledsoe brought the Patriots back from the dead when he was drafted in 1993; a year before Robert Kraft saved them from becoming the St. Louis Stallions. You would've guessed Drew went first overall to the Quebec Nordiques.

​Unfortunately, Bill Belichick wasn't interviewed in episode 1, and I'm like 99.283% sure he's not a part of this docuseries, which I get, but also hate. My one complaint about this gift from God is how it's happening right now. How can you tell these stories without Belichick?

Part of what made "The Last Dance" so great was the time that had passed since the Bulls Dynasty. The sports media landscape was on a different planet back then, but imagine how that would've looked if it came out when Jordan was on the Wizards? 

Brady is still an active NFL player.  It's a kinda wild move to release this during his career, especially if he plans on playing until he's 50. It's weird though because as an instant gratification millennial piece of trash, I'm glad it's coming out now, but doesn't it feel like these stories need to simmer a little? It means more when you wait. Amirite, you sex is only for procreation wackos? It's like taking a frozen pizza out of the oven after 15 minutes. Sure, you can eat it, but you know it's better when you wait until the cheese is golden brown. I guess it's a little different because, on February 3rd, it'll be 20 years since Brady won Super Bowl MVP passing for 145 yards, so it has sorta been simmering. I wonder what'll happen when the Patriots beat his Bucs in SoFi in three months in theNarrative Bowl? 

People forget that Belichick was an assistant on the '96 Pats, and you bet your sweet ass Bill had a little flop on top and flow below.

But if you listened to today's SOD/read the blog, you already know my favorite follicle display. Still has no likes, but do you think zero recognition will stop me? I'm still running this website aren't I?

I mean, that snarl, the goatee, obviously the hair is not exactly the same but it just screams Layne Staley in the "Man in the Box" video to me.

P.S.

Do you think Charlie Weis struggled at Notre Dame because he had to worry about Bam Margera kicking him the balls or shuffling his gullet?