To most, it probably sounds like a dream.
A man was withdrawing money from an ATM at a Wells Fargo bank branch in Cocoa, Fla., in late November when the machine started spitting out more cash than he’d withdrawn, police said. But the man’s reaction wasn’t exactly ecstatic, Florida Today reports.
Michael Joseph Oleksik, 23, got “angry the ATM was giving him too much money and he did not know what to do,” he told police — so Oleksik punched the ATM’s touch screen, the newspaper reports, causing more than $5,000 in damage to the pummeled machine.
Surveillance video caught Oleksik in the act, 5 News reports. He apologized for the damage, according to a police affidavit, explaining that he was trying to get to work at the time.
Oleksik, a Merritt Island, Fla., resident, was booked at the Brevard County Jail Complex in Sharpes, Fla. on Dec. 21, according to jail records, and was released the same day on $2,000 bond.
He was charged with criminal mischief, a felony, jail records said. Wells Fargo asked the Cocoa Police Department to press charges, Florida Today reports.
Florida strikes again!
I've never understand why some people punch inanimate objects when they're upset. Such a hardo, psycho move. There are no positive outcomes in that situation. I'd have to imagine that rivalry is rather one-sided in favor of the inanimate object. Sure, you can break the object, as Michael Joseph Olesksik did, but usually at the cost of injuring yourself. Not worth it! Windows or walls (s/o Lil Jon & the East Side Boyz) never need to go to the hospital when they're broken, the same cannot be said for their human counterparts. But what do I know? I'm not a psychopath.
In the case of one Michael Joseph Olesksik I'm even more confused as to why his first reaction was to punch an ATM after it gave him too much money. To answer Lil Jon's question in Get Low... I am scared! This Oleskik kid from his mug shot seems like an okay guy, sure his beard could use a little trim, but when I look into those eyes I don't see a person who could destroy an ATM. I'm not saying he's Ted Bundy, but come on Michael what are you doing? Why did you do this? I'm really bummed that the security footage has not been released because that would really answer all my questions.
Did he just panic, which turned to anger and punched it once thinking that would stop it? Like was he that worried about over-drafting? Because in that case I can almost feel for the guy. But I gotta say that seems about as unlikely as an ATM machine giving you extra money, which despite the context of this story, is quite rare.
My fear here is that he's just a psycho that doesn't know how to react to one of live's sweetest gifts: free money.
Now before I go on any further, anybody who says this isn't really "free money" can kick rocks. Fuck the big banks, if their machines malfunction than that's on them, it's like when you order bowl at chipotle with chicken AND steak and they only charge you for chicken. It's not your fault they fucked up, they can't ask you to pay for the steak the next time you come in. Idk if my chipotle logic will hold up in a court of law, but I'm just saying you shouldn't be required to return shit when it was given to you because of someone else's mistake. Have better tech if you don't want this to happen. And if you are they do try to take it back, guess what? you just take whatever money you got from their fucked up machine and join a new bank, problem solved.
Now as I was saying. . . .
Is this his go to immediate reaction when he finds himself in a favorable predicament?
Because if so, then I feel like felony criminal mischief is a slap on the wrist. Like if Michael ever found himself on the receiving end of an alarm clock blow job by a nice young lady (or young fellow if that's what he prefers, it's nearly 2018!) and his first reaction was to knock her/his lights out then I'd say lock him up and throw away the key. Because despite knowing those technically exist, I too find it happening about as unlikely as an ATM giving you free money.
I just can't wrap my head around this guy's logic. Does this guy not understand how life works? You need to celebrate the victories. Not get angry like a maniac and cause $5,000 in damage to an ATM. Having that reaction of anger in literal dream scenario is alarming. We might have ourselves a pre-crime situation on our hands. Every time I go to the ATM I pray that there's an extra twenty stuck to whatever I'm withdrawing. Here we have MJO (to save time) beating up the ATM machine like it owes him money.
Now yes, I too read the article and saw that he was worried about running late for work, but to me that excuse is total bullshit and reeks of just trying to cover up being a crazy person. Let me tell you something buddy, if there's ever a valid excuse to be late to work then it's when an ATM is literally giving you free money. If your boss doesn't understand why you needed to stick around a little longer than anticipated then maybe it time to check the classified ads. You never leave the table during a heater, and when you're getting free money literally handed to you, you gotta ride that shit out until the very end.
Also not to take too much liberty here but given his mug shot I'm guessing this guy's job isn't all too serious. He's 23 in South Florida wearing a t-shirt to work. Any job you wear a t-shirt to isn't life or death if you're a few minutes late. I'm sure Red Lobster would've been just fine had MJO been a few minutes late. You know what? Fuck this guy, I'm glad Wells Fargo pressed charges on him. You don't bite the hand that feeds, and you certainly don't punch a stupid broken ATM that decided to chose you it's lucky recipient.
Leave a Reply.