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It's currently 1:58 am, and I'm listening to Alice in Chains Unplugged on Youtube while normal people are sleeping, and I can't help but get this feeling that I fucking h8. I was going to tweet it, but I doubt I'd fit it into 280 characters; plus, I need to blog more. So here's a little late-night Dozo rant.
Nobody likes the guy that seriously brings up fantasy football, and nobody cares about a league they aren't in, but I'm sorry loyal DOL readers. I can't help but think about it. Your boiii is in the Finals with a legitimate chance to win my first real championship. I did win a random ESPN league in 2007 (my first-ever team), but I don't recognize its legitimacy. Sure, I've technically won a league before, but in my eyes, I'm a ringless GM/coach. I'm like Andy Reid pre-Mahomes, always in the mix, but can't seal the deal. The league was like "KansasCity83differentnumbers." My QB was Drew Brees, and that's all I can remember; well, that and back then, espn gave you a prize for winning your league. I chose a league champs shirt from espn.com. It was red, and I wore it to school multiple times. But that lone championship was with strangers and nowhere near as crucial as this potential championship. Of course, in 2019, I had a chance at a championship legitimately stolen from me. I made the Finals, beating the commish in the Final 4, and he straight up changed the score, so he won, then deleted the league. It's legitimately some of the most childish, scumbag behavior in the history of man. It's something I still think about and will always bum me out. A decade+ friendship died, and it fucking sucks to think he thought that little of me to treat me that way, and what hurt even more was my friends who let it happen and stuck by that dictator bull shit. This new league has many of those same guys, so this feels like an extension of that old league. I've been a GREAT GM for years, regularly finishing in the top 4, but a championship has alluded me. I've lost in the first round as a 1, 2, and 3 seed and have had some of the worst luck you can imagine. I sat 2020 out because of what happened the year before. I didn't have a league. Plus, I figured fantasy would be a nightmare with Covid, so I opted out. I hate even talking about this potential championship, but as a blogger, I gotta. This is potentially huge, maybe even life changing for me. I'm not a jinx guy and don't believe in mushes, BUT I've been on a crazy streak of mushing shit in the league chat. Sometimes I do it on purpose for part of the bit, but it has gotten to a point where I might swap sides and start believing in mushes. I can't help but get that "holy shit; this might happen" feeling. I had this feeling on February 5th, 2012; being on the cusp of something you've yearned for years. If you're unfamiliar with that date, that's the night of Super Bowl XLVI when the Patriots lost to the Giants for the second time. That game is nowhere near its predecessor in Super Bowl lore, but a championship nonetheless and one the Pats should've won (fuck Bernard Pollard). Brady got called for a questionable safety on the opening drive, then the Giants scored a touchdown, and quickly it was 9-0 Gmen. The Pats fought back and made it a 10-9 game at half thanks to a Danny Woodhead TD on a 98-yard drive. Then the late and not super-great (but was also likely affected by CTE) Aaron Hernandez scored a touchdown to give the Pats a 17-9 lead. There was plenty of game left, but the Pats had an eight-point lead, and Brady looked great. The Pats' first Super Bowl win since I was in 7th grade (I was a sophomore in college in Feb 2012) was within grasp. I couldn't help but get a little emotional thinking about it. I know that sounds lame, but it's also fandom, and at this point in history, we know that the Pats' double-dynasty ended with 6 Lombardis, but in 2012, we were in the late stages of an eventual decade-long championship drought. 2001 is the first year I remember following the Patriots, and really, all I can remember is the playoff run. 03 & 04 I remember everything, but what I'm trying to say is I had won 3 Super Bowls in my first 4 years of real Pats fandom. Sure, I was spoiled; I didn't appreciate how hard it was to win, sorta like Brady's mentioned. The 06 AFC Championship Game and SB42 were two of the worst days in my life for a long time. Oh, to be a teen again. But yeah, in the 3rd quarter of SB46, I sorta started thinking, "Holy shit, we can fucking do this. We're gonna do it for Myra!" I hate to admit it, but there were times I got this feeling during the 4th quarter of Game 4 of the NBA Finals: Presented by Youtube. Fuck, I'm soooo mushing myself. I'm feeling that same way now with my squad, "Cooking Up Sutton Good." Yes, that's a Mac DeMarco reference using Dalvin Cook(1st round pick) and Courtland Sutton (3rd round pick; I thought Russ was gonna cook). I had Brett Maher going tonight, and he put a solid 10 spot for me. That's actually the basis of the tweet idea that inspired this whole ramble.
I definitely dodged a bullet in TNF. The guy I'm facing (whomst just so happened to host the Super Bowl XLVI party #fullcircle) has Derrick Henry, who the Titans rested tonight, and obviously, he's a candidate to drop 30+ points without hesitation. That was no doubt a huge break for the boi. People in my league were already trying to discount a ring I haven't even won yet because of it!
So for the next two days, every time I look at the fucking app, I'll see I'm up 10 points going into the Sunday slate. I feel like this blog will end up being the ultimate mush, but honestly, I'm happy to make the Finals.
Obviously, I want to win and would like the bigger prize, but the runner-up gets a nice spread. I've been going to the gym for two months and am starting a new lifestyle on 1/2/23, so God willing, I'll have plenty of years to chase this ring if I don't Cook Up Sutton Good this weekend, but damnit man, I have that same feeling I did when it was 17-9. That like, holy shit Dozie, you might actually do this feeling. It seemed impossible for the longest time. All I did was win 8-11 games a year and lose in the first round. I low-key don't have faith in my guys. Here's my roster: 
Even without Tractorcito, I have a tough matchup. I don't have faith in my WR core. I have too many volatile guys. Sure, I picked up Richie James 45 minutes before kickoff, started him in the Final 4, and got rewarded with a solid 8 grabs for 90 yards day, but I've got more question marks than Mark Lesko.
I'm sure someone in my league will post this blog in the chat hours before I wake up, and there will be some good ole fashion Dozo razzin, but I'm just a human being. If you cut me, I bleed. I have emotions. I care about things. I want every relationship I have to be stronger (including the one with my finals opponent). I could lose by 80 points. I mean, sure Cam Akers has been solid the last monthish, but can I really count on a projected 13.3? I don't think so. Mahomes has been my MVP this year, but Denver's D is fantastic. Yes, I built an incredible roster. Look at those rankings. #1 QB, TE, and kicker. Top 8 RB. 5 top 45 WRs. Maybe I don't have the name recognition, but as Belichick says, "it's not about collecting talent; it's about building a team." My team has a chance to go down as the 2022 champions. It's gonna be a tall order. I'm the four seed facing the two. I already knocked off the regular season champ. I'm not pulling a Broadway Joe, GTMH I'm gonna lose. But if your team is out of the playoff hunt and you're looking for a rooting interest this weekend. Root for my guys. Maybe shout or tweet out a "Go Dozie!" I'll even accept thoughts and prayers. TML is 0 for the season and low-key retired. It's no secret I let the last three years get the best of me. Let's remember how great I looked in December 2019. But I'm getting my swag back; what better way to start the new year than as a winner for just the second time in my life (I built a URI intramural basketball dynasty that made three straight Final Fours (Fall 2011, Spring 2012, Fall 2012) and won a championship in Dec 2012)? I fucking need this. My opponent is a rugged tradesman with a much sicker life than me rn; he doesn't need this. He's won our league before. I NEED this. Dozo needs this BAD. I want it. I gotta have it like Cold Stone. I've spent about an hour creating this late-night ramble. Of course, I've had some reefer. AIC's been paused for about 20 minutes as I type, but yeah, bro, I'm fucking nervous. I'm excited. I'm exhausted. I can't wait to see what happens Sunday. Hopefully, I make the right calls, and if I lose, it's not because of bad managing. I can live with getting my ass kicked where it doesn't matter who I start (I have no idea what I'm gonna do with my WR even though, as of now, Sutton & Watson have the highest projections. They're also both banged up), but I fuck up and cost myself it's going to be a long offseason. I seldom talk shit to my opponent. I just remind everybody how consist of a fantasy GM I am, and honestly, that's what worries me. Look at the Rams. They sold out, won it all, then fell the fuck apart. I'm worried about how much I bring up the fact that I've finished the top 4 (usually top 3...2019 & 2022 are my only 4th place regular season finishes in this time frame) every year since 2015 (minus my 2020 opt-out) that I could fall off (I'm due). There's no guarantee I get back here, so I gotta make the most of it, and yeah, maybe that includes over 1,750 words about nothing at 3 in the fucking morning that maybe 17 people will read. DAD!!! I'm done. Time to try to get some sleep. #HireDozo. Let's Go Team Cooking Up Sutton Good!!!
P.S. UPDATE
Ya boi fucking called it. I woke up to this at 10:37 am before going back to sleep until 2! 
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