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My official take on Super Bowl LVI is it was a good, bad game. Entertaining but sloppy. The first two minutes of the third quarter were thrilling; then it turned into a 3 & out fest for a quarter and a half. I'm not blaming the refs for the Bengals' loss because they benefitted from one of the worst misses of the night, but misses on those type of bang-bang plays are at least understandable.
What's inexcusable IMO are misses on concrete rules like false start or delay of game. They're not subjective like P.I. It's been going on all season, but it's fucking lunacy to me that delay of game isn't enforced the second the play clock hits zero. While I do think the holding call against Cooper Kupp on 3rd and goal was a ticky-tack trash call in that spot, it should've been offsetting penalties, replay third down. I saw this in real-time.
But the Rams made more plays—credit to them. Like I said yesterday there are plenty of guys I'm happy for on that squad. Duh, I'm a little butt-hurt because I was backing the Bengals big time, but thanks to Odell scoring first (get well soon, my guy), both teams making a > 35-yard field goal, and Cooper Kupp's 7-yard carry, I ended up only losing like $70 on the evening. It's not ideal, but to paraphrase Jonah Hill at the James Franco Roast, "that's the goal, to make shitty bets that don't lose that much money."
I mean, I don't have much more to say on the game. I wish the Bengals put the ball in their Pro Bowl running back's hands instead of Perine, but there's literally nothing we can about it now. Sure, Joe Burrow has a legitimate case that the Bengals provided him a hazardous workplace with an offensive line littered with guys who are sub 70 Madden rankings, but what's done is done. The Bengals couldn't capitalize. I'm here to pump my tires a little. #HireDozo. I'm still nowhere close to where I want to be photoshop-wise (these are all screenshots because I'm still not 100% how to save photoshops); I have no idea how to add text or color. I can't fade or merge images, but ever since making a collage for my Top 21 Songs of 2021 blog, it's sorta been my thing. ICYMI: I made a collage for every round of the playoffs this year which giving some profitable (depending on which you played) picks. Let's work our way backward. Study the photos, then see if you caught any of the fun details. If I remember 8th-grade art correctly, these pieces are considered "Pop Art" since they featured two references to Gronk's terrible USAA ads.
Super Bowl LVI
Fun Details:
-Various players from both the Rams and Bengals -Traffic on the 405 -Cincinnati's unfinished subway system -Bengals beard guy -Flea playing bass at the LA Colosseum in 2016 -Bengals superfan and 98 degrees leader Nick Lachey in an Andy Dalton from a Tide campaign -Machete -Belichick sonnin' McVay -Harambe statue -Skyline Chill
Conference Championships
Fun Details:
-Mahome's annoying ass family (his fiance is committing a crime) -Deebo swaggin with a big ass 49ers chain -Andy "Ried's" infamous Punt, Pass and Kick performance -Fugly college photos of Sean McVay and Kyle Shanahan -Jimmy G and some porn star -Zac Taylor being alive
Divisional Weekend
Fun Details:
-Bruce Arians hitting his player staged to look like he's attempting to dislodge Odell's catch -Vince Lombardi from his days as one of Fordham's "Seven Blocks of Granite" -Tyler Bass' wannabe Nelly eyeblack -Rodger's showing his foot for free amongst all the vax drama -Jackson Mahomes in a jacket with his surname spelled incorrectly while he continues to pollute airwaves -Mike McDaniel existing -AJ Dillon's tree trunks -Dericcccc Henry -Gronk's terrible USAA ads -Skyline chili can -Deebo with part of his arm missing because I'm still learning -Handsome Creed Humphrey
Wild Card Weekend
Fun Details:
-Jalen Hurt's having fun with the Football Team faithful after the stands literally collapsed -AB peacing out from an NFL career -Covid Beasley -Super small Brady -Chiefs punter Tommy Townsend -Mac Jones in the Pats new jerseys with the old numbers -Joe Burrow's ruined jersey -Honey Badger chuckin' the pigskin -Jason Kelce's bleach blonde hair from a bet he lost to Ertz -Micah Parsons in the 1976 helmets -Gronk's terrible USAA ad -Derek Carr goofin -The last time Kyler Murray was happy
What other fun details did you catch? Sound off in the comments! Now that football season is officially over (and February break starts next week) I'm going to try to learn some more advanced photoshop skills, but for now enjoy the Dozie Warhol phase.
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