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During my high school football days, winning a state championship was my #1 goal. I wanted a ring and to experience being a champion more than anything. Unfortunately, I never achieved those dreams during my illustrious key returner/key loss career.
But I'll tell you one thing. After my 3-8 (1-7 in DIII) senior season ended, I would have never transferred to a different school in the state championship, somehow gotten a spot on the team despite transfer rules, never played a down, then claimed that championship as my own like I had anything to do with it. Okay, 2009 Ryan Dozonlife prob would've pounced at that opportunity; I fucking became a teacher because I wanted to coach and get that ring, but 31-year-old Ryan Dozonlife would NEVER!
Melvin Gordon lived out that half-baked scenario at the highest level. I know I'm getting to an age where some sports news slips through the cracks, but I don't remember shit about Melvin Gordon signing with the Chiefs. Then I saw this shit on Twitter last night.
This tweet really stuck out.
That shit was shocking. What's Melvin Gordon doing with the Lombardi? Is he dating a player?? I had no clue he was a Kansas City Chief. A Chargers' fan blog that he quote-RT was talking shit with a recycled joke and he clapped back. I don't have any problem with that. Plus, he's self-aware that he didn't earn shit, which earns some points.
But it's fucking wild that Melvin Gordon is technically a Super Bowl champ. He's not a superstar, but he's had a solid NFL career. He's made two Pro Bowls and scored 69 touchdowns in eight seasons. Still, this dude literally never played a down with the Chiefs and signed there after week 13. Sure he's gonna get a ring, but he didn't earn it. I'd feel like a fucking fraud wearing it. It's almost stolen valor. He went from fumbling the Broncos season away (he was far from the only problem) to getting a participation Super Bowl ring. This story got me thinking about some other notable names that managed to steal a championship ring (or two). Let's look at some instances throughout sports history (off the top of my dome) of stolen rings. I'm not talking about stars who had bad series, but their teams picked them up. I'm talking about former stars who won championships while contributing little to nothing to their team from a statistical standpoint.
Honorable Mention: Tracy McGrady
Don't get it twisted; T-Mac never won a championship during his NBA career. He infamously never made it out of the first round. But in 2013, he signed with the San Antonio Spurs for their playoff run, where they were a rebound away from an NBA Championship. That's technically the only time McGrady made it past the conference quarterfinals. Still, those six appearances in garbage time for the 2012-13 Western Conference Champion San Antonio Spurs earned him an honorable mention spot in this blog.
T-Mac didn't play in a single NBA regular season game during the 2012-13 season. He actually spent the 2012-13 season with the Qingdao Eagles in China's CBA before signing with the Spurs right before the playoff deadline in April 2013. The 2002-03 and 2003-04 scoring leader didn't score a single point in his six-game playoff stint in San Antonio, averaging 0.0 points, 1.3 boards, and 1.2 assists in 5.2 minutes. Had Ray Allen not hit that shot, T-Mac would legally be considered an NBA champion.
Honorable Mention: Brian Scalabrine
Unlike T-Mac, Scal won a ring and was never anywhere close to being considered a star (making him ineligible for this list), but he was a part of the team. Scal was there all season and worked hard during practice, and I just needed an excuse to post that video. I am NOT a Scal guy. He stinks on Celtics broadcasts, but this speech was awesome.
LeSean McCoy
LeSean McCoy was one of the best running backs of his era. Shady is a borderline Hall of Famer. He made the 2010s All-Decade team and literally outscored, out-gained, and out-rushed everybody in the NFL from 2010-2019, but by the end of the decade, he wasn't the same guy.
After the Bills cut McCoy before the 2019 season, he signed a one-year deal with the Chiefs in an Andy Reid reunion. Shady didn't play much but managed to total 646 scrimmage yards and 5 TDs in 13 games. That's not nothing. He definitely contributed during the regular season, but in the postseason, he played a single down in the Divisional Round. McCoy accumulated no stats during his one playoff down, but he was still a member of the 2019 Kansas City Chiefs and awarded a Super Bowl ring for his contributions to the team. The following year is when things got ridiculous. McCoy signed with Tampa and appeared in 10 games. In those 10 games, McCoy had 10 carries for 31 yards and 15 receptions for 101 yards. He dressed for two of Tampa's four playoff games, playing a single down in the Divisional Round and NFCCG, respectively. In LeSean McCoy's final two seasons, he won two Super Bowl rings while not appearing in either game, yet his rings still shine. Dan Marino weeps.
Terrell Suggs
Shady McCoy wasn't the only washed-up star of the early-2010s that ended up on the 2019 Kansas City Chiefs. That year, noted bleach pourer Terrell Suggs' tenure in Baltimore ended after 16 seasons (where he was a vital piece of the 2012 Ravens Super Bowl squad). He then signed with the Arizona Cardinals before being released after 13 games.
Suggs went from one of the worst teams in the NFL to the Chiefs and appeared in 2 regular season games where he amassed three tackles and a sack. In the playoffs, "Sizzle" contributed to the Chiefs D line rotation. He played 33-38 snaps a game, highlighted by 57% of the snaps in Super Bowl LIV. Suggs totaled four tackles and two QB hits in these three playoff contests. He played more than Melvin Gordon, but that's not the highest bar. I can't stand Terrell Suggs, and it's a fucking disgrace he stole a 2nd ring to help boost his resume.
Jose Canseco
Steroid-era whistle-blower Jose Canseco won a World Series in 1989 with the Oakland A's, and while he and many teammates were juiced out of their gills, we're not here to talk about that championship.
Eleven years later, 35-year-old Canseco was claimed on waivers by the New York Yankees and appeared in 37 games, hitting .243 with 6 HR. During the 2000 Yankees semi-surprising World Series run, Canseco had one plate appearance, a strikeout in Game 4 of the World Series. That, however, was more than enough to earn Ozzie's brother a 2nd career World Series ring. Take that, Ted Williams.
Adam Morrison
Adam Morrison wasn't a star as a pro. Most people would consider him a massive bust, but he was a star in college, and despite a disappointing pro career, he had name recognition during his time in the association.
During parts of two seasons with the Los Angeles Lakers, Morrison appeared in just 39 games, averaging a little under eight minutes a night and only 2.4 PPG. Despite his lackluster career, Morrison is a two-time NBA champion. He even played two games during the Lakers' 2009-10 championship run!
Brandon Phillips
This situation differs from most because Brandon Phillips didn't appear on the 2018 Red Sox postseason roster. If you look at his Wikipedia page, it doesn't include him as a 2018 World Series champion, but he did receive a ring for his time in Boston. The three-time All-Star and four-time Gold Glove winner appeared in nine games with the Sox, hitting .130 with one super memorable home run. He helped the Red Sox win one of their league-high 108 games, but Brandon Phillips is technically a World Series champion, and Barry Bonds is not.
Juwan Howard
Juwan Howard is the only Fab 5er to win an NBA championship, and Hannibal Burress has a funny bit about him. Star may be a stretch, but he's definitely a notable name.
After a long career, the one-time All-Star won two rings thanks to Lebron James, Chris Bosh, and D-Wade. During the 2012 playoffs, Howard averaged 0.9 ppg. The 39-year-old did not appear in a single playoff game the following season. The dude still has two more rings than Patrick Ewing, and Charles Barkley combined.
Carlos Beltrán
Carlos Beltrán is a borderline Hall of Famer and had some outstanding moments during his postseason career, but none came during the 2017 World Series.
Even though he was an All-Star the year before, the now 40-year-old OF/DH hit only 14 HR in his final regular season. Beltrán was a nonfactor in the playoffs, going 3-21, highlighted by his 0-3 effort in the Fall Classic.
Jeremy Lin
Linsanity was a wild time and there's no denying Lin's role in NBA lore, but by the time he got to Toronto, he was barely holding on in the NBA. In the regular season, Jeremy scored a respectable 7.0 PPG, but come playoffs, he was out of the rotation averaging 3.4 minutes and 1.1 PPG in eight mop-up appearances.
Robert Parish
The all-time leader in games was a key piece of the Celtics big three of the 1980s, but by 1996-97, the 43 year old was nothing but a veteran leader on the Bulls bench. During the playoffs, the Chief saw action in two games scoring exactly two points.
I'm sure that I'm forgetting a bunch of guys, but that's all I've got off the top of the dome right now. Yeah, I looked up stats to back it up, but all those fellas have rings off the back's of their teammates. Let's wrap up with some lesser names.
Non-Stars That Deserve a S/O
Kenjon Barner
The Oregon speedster has bounced around the NFL since 2013, but this RB/return man has four career touchdowns and three Super Bowl Rings (in a four season span).
Terrance Gore: Three time World Series Champ
Terrance Gore has appeared in just 112 regular season games over 8 seasons. His first position on baseball-reference is "pinch runner." This dude has ONE career RBI and three World Series rings (2015 Royals, 2020 Dodgers, 2021 Braves).
Who did your boi forget? Sound off in the comments which stars stole championship rings!
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