Red Sox Twitter Hits Peak Cringeworthiness

Listen, I love the Red Sox, like really love the Red Sox, probably an unhealthy amount. For an "adult" I definitely care way too much about the Sox and Pats.  But that's who I am, take it or leave. Despite that love, there are many things I cannot stand about the Red Sox, but like any relationship, you take the good with the bad, and try to love them for who they are, gotta overlook some of the short comings. 

For example, I have HATED the Red Sox presence on Social Media for years. Mainly since the train wreck that was the 2012 Red Sox where they were fucking terrible and cared more about promoting the 100th Anniversary of Fenway than the baseball team that plays there.

The Red Sox ownership group is very tough to deal with, yes they helped end the curse and have brought three World Series titles to Boston, but at the same time they are complete ass holes who care more about PR and promoting Fenway Park than putting a winner on the field. Just look at 2012, 14 and 15. I'm convinced their hearts are not completely in it, John Henry is a dick, cares more about controlling the media by owning the Globe and his stupid soccer team than the Sox. 

I hate how the Red Sox will play Sweet Caroline in the middle of the 8th inning when the Sox are down 8 runs, I hate the stupid hashtags, I hate NESN, but most of all I hate Red Sox twitter account. Now sometimes they are fine but then you'll get some nonsense like this tweet 

REMINDER: First 15K at the game get a #26 decal! Also it's just a great day to be at Fenway: https://t.co/r1EZTAt0qQ pic.twitter.com/7NV0qqYFFV

— Boston Red Sox (@RedSox) May 26, 2016

Are you  kidding me? Maybe it's just me, but reading this shit makes my skin crawl. You're in first place, and are actually a wicked fun team to watch. You don't need shitty gimmicks like this, YOU'RE THE BOSTON RED SOX, not the Oakland A's. People show up to games, we are loyal AF as a fanbase despite how inept this team has been run lately. I know I just blogged about my love for lists but I take that back after seeing this tweet. Honestly, 26 was wayyyyy too many reasons for the game tonight, and I get it it's because of Wade Boggs, but fuck Wade Boggs. Would have been a lot better if he wore a single digit so you wouldn't have so many shitty reasons to go. 

​These were my least favorite.

​#8. Wade Boggs - You mean the trader who went to the Yankees and went around on a fucking horse after winning the World Series with THE YANKEES? Listen I know he was great in the 80's before I was alive, but Wade Boggs is a douchebag. Maybe it's because I'm 24, but idc about Wade Boggs. He is a great player who played for the Red Sox but he is not a guy I care about, tons of other old players I have way more respect for than him.

#9 Sox VR- more SOX PR bullshit caring more about dumb gimmicks like this then on the field product. There are at least 30 commercials for this a night on NESN. 

#11 Sweet Caroline- ONLY acceptable when the Sox are winning or tied. Should not be played in blowouts, idc if it makes me hardo, when the Sox are losing (which has happened last 6 times I've gone to Fenway) I refuse to participate. 

#12 Hanley's Hair- listen I love Hanley and how he's played this year, but nobody and I mean NOBODY gives a fuck about his dreads, and by no means is coming to the game strictly to see his Dont'a Hightower flow.

​#17 Kid's Concourse- again with the Boston PRed Sox. 

​#18 Red Seat- complete lie, gets moved every year. Does not matter. Is a LIE Ted Williams didn't hit a 550 foot HR. More Red Sox PR

#19 Tessie- One stupid mascot wasn't enough, he needed a sister/wive idk who she is. Sox did this just to have a girl mascot too, life in the new millennium for you

#22 Dirty Water- Now we're really grasping at straws here

#23 Mookies Snarl- Stop

#26 Immortalizing #26- It's a joke, like 20 guys have worn #26 since Boggs left. In my eyes when a number gets retired it has to happen immediately as a guy retires/makes HOF and nobody can wear it before it's retired, just takes away from it. Red Sox are probably doing this just have another spectacle before a game because that's all they care about. 



I have a list of reasons why you should NOT go to the Red Sox game tonight. It's a very short list.

1. Clay Buchholz is pitching. 

via GIPHY

I cannot wait until the day Clay Suckholz is off the Red Sox.


And listen Sox, it hurts me to be hard on you, but you need a total revamping. That's why I'm here to help. I'll end this blog with the real reasons why you should go to as many Red Sox games as possible. Despite how much you piss me off, I still love you, I really am too fucking loyal. You still get all my money so at the end of the day you win. Here we go Top 10 Reasons to go to Red Sox Games.

1. Fenway Park: Yeah its 104 years old and half the seats are too small for a 175 pound man but it is still an absolutely beautiful place to watch a baseball game. Probably my favorite place to be at on Earth.

2. This team is good: I took for granted the days where the Sox won 95 games a year. Figured thats how it will always be. I was very wrong. 3 of the last 4 years have been awful, Sox had been out of the hunt by May. This year the Sox are actually good and could win the AL East. Gonna be a fun summer at Fenway.

3. History: They were right about that, very cool to go into Fenway and soak up all the history of the Sox and the ballpark.

4. Beer: Yeah it's 10 bucks for 12 ounces of Bud Light but beer and baseball are a great combination. Some of the most fun I've ever had is getting drunk in the CF bleachers with my friends spending 120 bucks on beer. 

5. David Ortiz: IMO the most important player in Red Sox history, if he really is retiring you gotta get to Fenway as much as possible to see him. I'm gonna try to get to at least 5 games this year because of that. 

6. People watching: I love to people watch, at any pro sporting event there are tens of thousands of people to stare at, observe, and judge. "Yeah dude, Ik I'm huge but did you see that guy 4 rows over? Holy Shit." You see some real creatures at Fenway. But at the same time there are also thousands of beautiful girls in Red Sox gear which is my absolute weakness.

7. Sweet Caroline when the Sox are winning: Nothing more fun than being 8 beers deep with some buddies screaming a 40 year old Neil Diamond song. Only fun when drunk and the Sox are playing well.

8. Young Core: This Sox team has a ton of young exciting players. With how stupid ownership is, I'm sure we'll lose half of them in free agency so go and watch Xander as much as you can before the Yankees sign him.

9. Memories: Not to get all sentimental but some of the happiest moments of my life have been at Fenway. First game with my mom, watching the Sox win the pennant, walk off wins, Papi HRs. I absolutely love going to Fenway.

10. It's Baseball: Baseball is a great sport that too many people are giving up on because they are mental midgets with small attention spans. Anything can happen at a major league game, go to as many as you can you never know what you're gonna see.