Reflecting back at the first 100 days of #everydaydoz

It's impossible to tell this story without diving into my long history of weight struggles and binge eating. I don't want to make this blog gratuitously long (in textbook DOL fashion), and I also don't feel like writing/working right after my most intense workout yet, so admittedly, this is a quasi-rush job (it took 3ish hrs). I'm gonna TRY to not get too emotional or in-depth because this isn't a finish line, but don't get me wrong; I am super proud of myself for sticking to this unintentional bit that will probably save my life. Your kindness and support has fueled me these last three months.
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Here's the TL;DR timeline of my life going into April 2024 when #everydaydoz began.

December 1991: I entered the world in Newport, RI, at just seven pounds, 15 ounces.

Fall 2001: Declared too fat to play pop warner football. This the first time I can remember "trying" to lose weight.

Idk, exactly when...like 5th or 6th grade...which was the 2002-03 range: Hit two hundo lbs for the first time.

August 2006: Started my high school football career (I was a key returner going into my senior year and a key loss after I graduated in the local paper). As an offensive lineman, being fat helped!

Spring 2009: During my junior year, I started a run-of-the-mill calorie deficit and exercise diet and lost around 60 pounds. I remember being 221 at my lowest point this go-around. I even ran the Blessing of the Fleet, in which my football coach saw me and was not thrilled with how "skinny" I was going into double sessions. I fucked up my bib and ripped off the part you're supposed to turn in and since I didn't want to give them my entire bib, there might not be record of it...but I finished that fucking race.

November 2009: My high school football career ended with our seventh consecutive league loss, and so did the biggest excuse I had to be a fat guy, lololol.

Fall 2010: I start college. I don't know if I had already hit 300 by the time I moved into my dorm, but it didn't take long for me to reach that number I never thought I'd hit.

Spring 2012: Lose 60ish pounds using a product called "HCG" that tricked your body into thinking it's pregnant or some shit that somehow made you lose weight. I took these drops under my tongue & only ate about 500 calories daily. This was my first foray into gimmicky weight loss attempts. By December 2012, most (if not all & then some) of the weight was back.

February 2016: Start Optifast meal replacement program AND dozonlife.com. I was 24 and did not cheat from Feb 3rd, 2016, to some time in late June. I only drank shakes and went from 376 lbs to 256.

August 2017: Move from Narragansett to Nashville to start my first legit teaching job (three weeks into the school year). At this point I had kept off essentially all the weight I lost in 2016 and was THRIVING socially.
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October 2017: I quit my job as an 8th grade social studies teacher in Nashville for a multitude of reasons. It was a shotgun move and a total disaster. I wanted to come back pretty much after my first day teaching. #everydaydoz has lasted significantly longer than I did in Nashville. This failed move realllly fucked me up and completed wrecked my recently improved self-confidence for years.

July 2019: By this point, I had gained about 2/3s of the weight and re-enrolled in the Optifast program.

December 2020: Finish my 2nd stint with Optifast. I got to 266 after starting at 338.

March 7th, 2020: Eat #43burgers in a publicity stunt in an attempt to get hired by Barstool. The following week, the world shut down due to a global pandemic. Between the isolation, stress, financial struggles, the emotional toll of the Pani unmasking all of the horrors of society, and some family beef...the weight I had just lost started to creep back.

June 2022: Hit my highest documented weight (426.6 lbs).

November 2022: I started working out again and documenting the process. I recorded a brief video before every workout. I kept it up consistently until September 2023, when I moved to the other side of town. This move triggered a re-gain of most of my progress throughout this timeframe.
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December 2023: Weigh in at 394 at sleep apnea appointment...oh yeah, I totally forgot to mention that part...I got so fat that I stopped breathing at night. I wasn't diagnosed until May 2023, but I wouldn't be surprised if I had it for at least the year before...maybe even longer.

April 1st, 2024: I did a smidge over an hour on the bike, posted it on my IG story, and #everydaydoz inadvertently began.

April 4th, 2024: After realizing I had worked out every day in April (beast), here's the first official mention of potentially working out every day, as a bit.

April 6th, 2024: The hashtag "everydaydoz" is used for the first time.

At this point I didn't think to crop my stats. We were still in our edd infancy.

April 15th, 2024: Mid-April check-in. In the days leading up to this, I had started giving more daily info, but this was the first post of its kind. The story says it all. There's no need for me to waste your time writing an unnecessary description or, even worse, making you read a long-winded explanation explaining that I won't waste our time since I can just provide you with a primary source.

April 30th, 2024: I completed the original goal of the bit (worked out every day in April).

May 15th, 2024: 45 day milestone post.

May 20th, 2024: 50 day milestone post (yeeesh...those eyes).

May 31st, 2024: The two month mark.

June 9th, 2024: 70 day milestone post.

June 19th, 2024: 80 day milestone post.

June 29th, 2024: 90 day milestone post (I did not intentionally wear this shirt both days).

Today (July 9th, 2024) marks 100 straight days of exercise. I didn't set out to do this, it just happened, but man am I grateful that it did. I knew I needed to make a change, but didn't know what I was gonna do. This whole bit was to hold myself accountable and as of typing this, I still haven't stopped. No days off like 2010 Wale. Obviously, people need to rest, but I am hooked on this feeling and wanna get this weight off ASAP as possible.

​Throughout #edd, I've usually checked in with blurbs on my IG story, but for day one hundo, I wanted to get back to my roots tonight and write a blog because obviously this is a major part of my life/story/journey/blah, blah, blah, but also bc I want to inspire others.

​Believe me, I know how easy it is to get worn down and just give up. I still battle those thoughts. Until like 40 days in, I felt like I looked the same in every pic and was kind of embarrassed that I was living out the Alex Jones meme in real time.

But eventually, I noticed I was getting less fat. If I can do this. You can too. No excuses. I kept living throughout this lifestyle change. I went to Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals, a musical festival, worked multiple jobs, visited family a ton, and battled many thoughts of taking the early checkout...no matter what happened on a particular day, I had to work out. There were only two close calls of the streak ending because of oversleeping. It's crazy, but I genuinely enjoy exercising now. I promise you, you can change too.

As happy as I am to make it 100 straight days and LOVE all the support/encouragement/love, I'm nowhere near where I want to be. I cannot afford to get complacent. As someone who's lost significant amounts of weight multiple times, I'm terrified of re-gaining. Ironically, the fact that I'm going slower than I would like is for the best. I'm making gradual and sustainable life changes "the right way." 

I asked my Dr. about Ozempic, and my Dad even brought it up, too...while it was appealing, the price is just not possible for me, and it feels too good to be true. Who knows, maybe I'll end up getting on something down the line...but for now, I really enjoying working out. Eating healthy not so much, and I need help with that...but overall, I'm pretty content with how things are going. I know I'm losing weight while still enjoying life. I've done drastic diets before, and it just leads to cheating.

My weight has held me back literally and figuratively, which has fucked up my confidence and self-worth. I'm trying to rewire those parts of my brain, but it takes a while to update 32 years of negativity. It's a major reason I haven't written as much in 2024. I love DOL, but I went kind of all in focusing on saving my life.

Even now, I'm ashamed of this blog because I'm rusty and still not going as deep as I can emotionally (granted a lot of it is on the IG stories I shared) and have said "I" way too many fucking times. I haven't dove into the real reasons why I binge and all the emotional shit that went into me getting up to 426.6, but again...this isn't the finish line. I'm not satisfied, and I guess we can leave some meat on the bone for later. Of course, if anybody actually wants to talk or needs someone to help them with their shit, I am here.

I just want to be happy and make it in this fucked up world. I am so scared of what's happening in America and just ate my feelings to deal with it. I'm fighting back because I am worth it, and so are you. We can't just give up. No matter the battle you're facing, you can overcome it (or, at the very least, try to improve your situation). For a while, I thought my weight was why I couldn't find love, and while I still think that's a significant factor, I've learned that the way I treat myself because of my weight plays a central role in why I'm currently at risk of dying alone. It's such a cliche, but you really do have to love yourself first before you're ready to love someone else.

​In closing, thank you for reading this and sorry if it sucks and that I'm not skinnier yet lol. Thank you to anyone and everybody who's liked a story, messaged me, or even said something nice IRL (that means in real life, Grandma). I'm nowhere near the finish line, but that doesn't mean we can't enjoy the ride getting there. I love you all. Stop Project 2025.

P.S.

Since there's no "before" pic from April 1st, here's a comparison of me in January.

vs. today.

It's a start, and we're nowhere close to the end.

Double P.S.

Seriously, thank you sooo fucking much to everybody that's given the boi some love throughout this journey. A major reason why I ballooned up to 426.6 was because I felt worthless and that nobody cared about me. I know it sounds so fucking woe is me and depressing, but it's the truth. I had basically given up and accepted that I was gonna eat myself to death. You're not supposed to go through life alone. Connection is everything. My size has stopped me from living the life I want and deserve, but I'm taking control once and for all. Thank you for reaching out, whenever you may have. Stop Project 2025.