The Boston Celtics have Suspended Ime Udoka For the Entire 2022-23 Season

​Well it's official.

pic.twitter.com/ySo5wGKrfX

— Boston Celtics (@celtics) September 23, 2022

​In one of the most bizarre stories of my prolific niche blogging career, the defending Eastern Conference Champion Boston Celtics have suspended head coach Ime Udoka for the entire 2022-23 campaign for "violations of team policies." 

All we know is he was in a consensual relationship with another adult human in the organization. Is cheating wrong? Yes. It's not my swag, but it's not 700 BC. Adultery isn't a crime (according to a quick wiki glance). How this is worthy of a suspension reserved for real crimes is beyond me, but I am hashtag bummed the fuck out. It's been all downhill since the closing minutes of Game 4.

There has to be more to this story, but for now, all we know is that Ime was suspended for the entire season for having sex. I'm sorry; I thought this was America? I don't get it. Danny Ainge is gone. This ain't BYU. There is no honor code. How is this worthy of 82 games?? I hate to play that card, but this is some Jim Crow era misjustice. No chance this would happen to Brad Stevens if he was a sex haver. The captain aaaaand thheeee trruuuuuthh said it best:

It should just be a fine not a suspension □□‍♂️

— Paul Pierce (@paulpierce34) September 22, 2022

My money is on Ime fucking somebody's wife that works in the organization and this is a power play to assert dominance after being a cuckold. I cannot believe this is a real story in 2022. So much for "it's all about 18." #FREEIME

I can’t believe the “all we care about is championships” Boston Celtics is willing to worsen its chances because the coach caught some CONSENSUAL pussy. This is ridiculous. #FreeIme

— Doz #HireDozo (@DozonLife) September 23, 2022

The @Celtics aren't sex positive smh

— Doz #HireDozo (@DozonLife) September 23, 2022

P.S.

Preach, Bobby! Fuck Brett Favre.

If you are more upset about Ime Udoka and the Celtics situation than Brett Favre STEALING MILLIONS IN WELFARE MONEY FROM THE POOREST PEOPLE IN OUR COUNTRY IN MISSISSIPPI then you are part of the problem.

— Robert Griffin III (@RGIII) September 22, 2022