I've never been a big late night talk show guy. The jokes are awful and I just don't really find it entertaining at all. Whether it be Leno, Letterman, Kimmel, Fallon, Colbert or any other one... I'm sure Johnny Carson was good but that is way before my time. I will give credit where it is due however and say that I love when Jimmy Kimmel has celebrities read mean tweets but that isn't even him doing any of the work.
But enough with the hating, time for what really matters.
David Letterman post retirement.
Letterman for the most part has been completely out of the public eye since hanging it up a few months ago. First time most of us saw him post retirement was for 5 seconds during the Super Bowl when we all got a taste of his new beard.
Now that he's retired he can let himself go a little and it's pretty obvious he has. Today a picture went semi-viral of him running with his huge beard and noticeably bald head. Most might think Dave is just relaxing in his post retirement life I think I know what is really up.....
David Letterman killed Santa and has to take over for him now.
Just think about it for one minute......
I'm not saying that David Letterman is definitely going to be Santa in 2016 but you can't rule it out yet. What happened to Scott Calvin? His facial hair started growing like crazy and he put on a ton of weight when morphing into Santa. My guess is that Davey didn't like the extra pounds and is running to try to fight off the Santa weight. Probably shaved his head because his hair turned snow white and was rapidly growing. I bet if this picture was taken an hour later his hair would have been to his shoulders.
If you've ever seen The Santa Clause you know that Scott Calvin (Tim Allen) scares Santa while he was on the roof, he falls off and Scott takes over........I'm pretty sure he killed Santa but that gets kind of overlooked. Should't he have been going to jail instead of just stealing his job?
If that was how the world worked I'd kill Roger Goodell and become NFL commissioner today. Patriots need their picks back damnit!!
If that was how the world worked I'd kill Roger Goodell and become NFL commissioner today. Patriots need their picks back damnit!!
Pretty clear to me that something is up with ole Davey boy. While you can't just assume he is turning into Santa Claus, I think I've connected the dots pretty well. We'll just have wait until December 25th and see.
P.S. Did the Late Show have a no beard rule?
I'm guessing when Letterman was hosting the Late Show it wasn't like he was on the Yankees where there is an actual rule that you can't have facial hair or long hair.
But I bet he did need to keep up a decent look for appearances.
Now he's bald and has a huge beard. Could he be just rebelling like when someone leaves the Yankees?
Looking at you Joba Chamberlain.
So earlier today on Barstool Feitelberg posted a blog with a draftkings type pricing cost to build your top 5 office characters and still stay under the $50,000 cap.
If you know anything about me you know The Office is my all time favorite show.
No exaggeration I've seen every episode at least 5 times, probably closer to 10. It's my go to show on netflix before bed.
***Pro tip: don't watch a new show before bed because when you inevitably fall asleep during it you will lost and forgot where you left off. So I never watch new shows when I'm getting tired. Usually rotate the office, sunny and arrested development.
The Office is IMO the best comedy tv show of all time. Never seen Seinfeld (sorry). Obviously it's wicked funny, but it also has a great storyline and has cast that you just fall in love with.
A lot of barstool fans have bashed Feits a lot and am in the opposite camp, I like him and think he has a lot of funny views and is great on Kfc Radio. However I could not stand idly by after he posted this top 5.
Obviously with the salary cap you can't just pick all the universal favorites in Michael, Jim and Dwight etc. you need to think outside the box. However he came up with Michael, Stanley, Darryl, Kelly and Robert California. GROSS. Robert California may be one of my least favorite tv characters ever. He gives JD McCoy a run for his money IMO.
I think the pricing model makes NO SENSE. For example, Meredith who IMO is the worst major character comes in at $9,900. Awful value, I wouldn't spend $20 on her for the list.
So I'm going to give what I think is the best value you can get with my Top 5 Office Characters using the listed chart. Again it is tough and I understand Feits was handcuffed with the salary cap but I think I can come up with a better 5.
#1. Michael Scott $15,500 ($34,500 remaining)
For my money Michael Scott may be the funniest character in the history of tv. When deciding my list I know I had to put him on A.S.A.P. as possible. That being said it sure costs a ton at $15,500, I'm no math major but that's like a third of the entire cap.
However Michael Scott is the straw that stirs the drink. Even if that drink is just milk and sugar. The Office simply isn't the show it is was without Michael Scott. As a die-hard Office fan I did still enjoy the final 2 seasons without him but theres no denying it was never same.
Michael Scott was groundbreaking with his humor, very lovable and despite what at times would seem like incompetence, he had moments where he'd show he was some sort of mad genius when it came to business. Despite his zany techniques he helped make the Scranton branch of Dunder Mifflin the most successful of the entire company.
Whether he was marking the Asian waitress so he'd know who she was, eating mayonnaise with olives, falling into a Kai Pond, declaring bankruptcy or promising to pay for college for an entire grade Michael Scott was simply the best. I don't care if it cost the entire $50,000 I'm picking Michael Scott first overall. Even if I have to declare bankruptcy.
#2. Jim Halpert $12,200 ($22,300 remaining)
In the NFL teams have to make tough decisions all the time. Obviously you'd love to have Gronk, Odell Beckham Jr, JJ Watt, and Von Miller on your roster but if just isn't realistic in the salary cap era.
I'd love to have Dwight, Jim, Kevin, Stanley, Andy and Creed all of my favorite characters in my top 5 but it just can't happen. Jim has the most reasonable salary of the major stars so he's the second member of my top 5 and is not a bad option at all.
As much as The Office is about Michael running the office, the show's storyline is just as heavily based around the relationship between Jim and Pam. Starting early in season 1 where we see Jim has feelings for Pam then in season 2 he finally makes a move in the finale, only to move to Connecticut in season 3 after she denies him. We all know what happens I don't need to recap the entire series for you. As much as I love the humor of the show, the romantic storyline of Jim and Pam is a key factor in making this show so universally loved. I'm a big hopeless romantic. In the show's final season where their relationship is tested, the lengths he goes to and changes he makes to save their marriage truly made me love Jim even though I already did. Yeah the final few episodes may have made me cry. Not going to confirm or deny that.
In addition to that storyline Jim is also one of the funniest characters on the show. A lot of the time he could make you laugh just with his physical reactions and face and not even have to use dialogue. His relationship with Dwight that evolved from pranks to eventual real friendship is a major key of the series as well. Their relationship was the classic two man team of the over the top guy (Dwight) and the straight man (Jim) who's calm demeanor in crazy situations made him funny.
I love the dynamic between Jim and Dwight, it is one of the best parts of the show but again this list isn't about picking everybody and with Dwight's salary just a hair below Michael's at $14,800 it just isn't possible to include him and still be able to fill out a roster.
Jim's humor, relationship with Pam, and overall importance to the success of The Office give him a spot on my roster. Can't have The Office without him.
#3 Oscar Martinez $8400 ($13,900 remaining)
Oscar Martinez is a value play here at $8,400. The openly gay, Mexican Oscar Martinez was a groundbreaking character on tv as one of the first openly gay characters in history. Oscar uses his brains and differences to be one of the funniest characters on the show who I don't think gets the credit he deserves.
Most characters on the Office have a major relationship with at least one other cast member, with Oscar his is with Kevin Malone. Oscar is probably the smartest employees at the Scranton branch of DM while Kevin is probably the dumbest. In a loophole of sorts to include Kevin in my list I'm going with Oscar as my third member.
Personally I think Oscar is very underrated, his wit and attitude make him hilarious in his own way. He also is a lot more important to the story line of the show in the last few seasons in comparison to the other cast members around his price. That was a big factor in picking Oscar too.
#4: Toby Flenderson $7700 ($6200 remaining)
Originally when I was planning how to make my 5 I had Pam in this spot. I love Pam and think she's great and it's no secret I'm a huge fan of her and Jim and their story but after some thought I decided Toby was more worthy for my top 5.
Toby is the office's HR rep and Michael Scott's biggest enemy. He is also divorced, which Michael loves to bring up as much as possible. After leaving off Stanley who I love, I couldn't keep another one of Michael Scott's biggest detractors off the list. Toby is frankly a huge pussy with his droll, boring personality but that is what makes this character hysterical. He is the perfect ying to Michael's yang in maintaining the dynamic of the office. Toby has a lot of wit and can add to the humor of the show with his own unique style.
#5 Jan Levinson ($5000, total salary used $48,000)
With less than 6500 left the choices were not great. It was between Pete, Clark and Jan. When you give me those three Jan wins in a LANDSLIDE. In the last season Pete and Clark were basically just there I didn't really like either.
Jan is the crazy, yet beautiful VP of sales for Dunder Miflin. She starts as Michael's boss who eventually becomes his lover for a short period. I actually loved Jan on the Office her style of comedy was one mainly of cringeworthy-ness. When her and Micheal were hooking up and eventually started dating she seemed to always be saying or doing something that while funny, could be hard to watch with how uncomfortable it made me feel. Her work in episodes like the deposition, and dinner party pretty much landed her a spot on my team. Not that it matters but I think she's the hottest cast member of the entire show.
Best remembered for her fling with Michael Scott and failed candle making business despite not being a featured cast member for the show's duration you could have a lot worse characters here than Jan. True Office fans can appreciate her importance to the show and how funny her character could be.
So that is my five. Again obviously it is tough to do with the salary cap but that is what makes it fun. I'd love to hear other peoples thoughts on the list and how they'd make their fives.
The prices honestly seemed a little off to me. I think Creed is hands down the most underrated character and thought he'd a lot less expensive. I'm guessing many people felt the same price and caused him to be overvalued with so many people thinking he's underrated that in a way he becomes overrated at least price wise.
Kevin too at 13,100 seemed a little steep. I love him but I don't think you can have him as the third highest.
Gabe, Merideth and Erin too are way too expensive for what they brought to the table. I hate Gabe and Meredith. Erin wasn't awful but when you are talking about the office she is rather forgettable.
BTW if money is not a factor and I'm picking funniest non stars (Michael, Dwight, Jim, Pam and Andy) here is my top 10.
5. David Wallace
10. Hank the Janitor
The second episode of Fuller House was titled "Moving Day" where Kimmie and her daughter, Romana officially move in with DJ, her sons and Stephanie.
Only problem is that DJ's sons have no idea this is coming and she doesn't know exactly how to break the news. The episode starts with her middle son, Max trying get Stephanie out of bed. That lucky SOB. Haven't been that jealous of a 7 year old in a long time.
DJ is upstairs and acting kind of weird, as she doesn't know how to break the news to Jackson, her oldest son who she knows will be most upset about the move. In what makes her ultimate wifey material and an awesome mom, she tries to ease in the tough news to Jackson by starting off Sunday breakfast with a milkshake. What 13 year old boy wouldn't love that?
Jackson begins to realize something is up as he is 13 not 3. But before he can figure out what it is Max is able to get Stephanie to come upstairs where she has one of my favorite lines of the entire first season.
After Stephanie and DJ have a little chat in the fridge to hide from the boys with some really crappy food jokes. Kimmie and Romana show up to move in.
Kimmie is rocking maybe the most outrageous scarf I've ever seen. Bacon and Eggs scarf, such a goofy mom move. I didn't know people even wore scarfs in San Fran. In my brain everywhere in California is always warm.
After finally convincing Romana to go inside Kimmie makes her grand entrance and Jackson is not pleased. Can't blame the kid, he's a 13 year old boy who already probably has enough trouble finding time to jerk off in this full house. That is all a 13 year old boy cares about. Having to share a room at that age is awful, I know the first hand.
Kimmie, Romana, and DJ go upstairs into Jesse and Becky's old room to get Kimmie situated. Her first order of business, putting up her "Gibbler Style Party Planning" FatHead on the wall. Nightmare fuel like you read about.
For the next few minutes DJ breaks the harsh news that Jackson will be sharing a room with his little brother Max and that Romana is getting his old room. Again if I was Jackson I'd be heated.
After all that we are lucky enough to be graced with the presence of one of the Hollywood's all time studs. John Stamos. I mean look at him. This isn't about sexuality, it's about appreciating beauty, which I can do regardless of gender I'm not a caveman, it is just recognizing a fact. Nobody can take away from how at 52 Stamos is still the man. He's in that Bradley Cooper, Tom Brady territory where even the most insecure hetero can acknowledge that's just a good looking dude.
Uncle Jesse isn't around for long, he only came back because of forgot his lucky guitar (didn't realize that was a thing), shares a swapping of catchphrases with Steph then dips out.
After Jesse leaves we are brought upstairs where Stephanie is changing Tommy's diaper with Kimmie and Max in the scene as well. We get another Olsen twins reference. I love inside jokes on shows, Arrested Development used to do it a ton and they were usually hilarious.
After changing Tommy's diaper we hear a phone ring.
Oh no where could the phone be?
OMG it's in Tommy's diaper!! HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA and instead of just taking it out I'm gonna just answer it and risk having baby shit on my $700 6s. It was kind of funny but I couldn't help but think that. I think that is when you know you're getting old where you can't just appreciate an attempt at humor and instead have to dissect. I guess I'm the ass hole here.
It is also kind of a ripoff from The Office. Not complaining just saying.
After finishing the buttdial with DJ (of course it was DJ calling) the show shifts to Uncle Jesse driving back to LA to go home after getting his guitar. When he realizes he isn't driving alone.
Jackson can't take Jesse's singing anymore and reveals he is hiding in the backseat of his truck. Yeah because you wouldn't even notice that. I digress. Jackson tries to convince Jesse to let him live in LA with him and Becky. After Jesse says he can't Jackson tries to convince him that they could both go off to Mexico to live together.
I know Jackson is 13 aka stupid so I'll be the one to tell him, sharing a room with your little brother is 100x better than living in Mexico. Only reason Jesse says no is because he doesn't look good in matador clothes. Not because Mexico is vile. I went on a Cruise to that stopped in Mexico in high school and accidentally drank some water which ended in me living in an the bathroom for 3 days. So I'll always be anti-Mexico until the water doesn't give you dysentery
At this point I'm guessing Jesse called DJ to let her know he had her son and his coming back immediately. Kimmie and Steph are busy getting their day drink on (love that move) while DJ asks where Jackson is and she just says he upstairs.
Uncle Jesse returns Jackson and Steph apologizes profusely. Classic aunt move, losing a kid, nbd. Show shifts back to the living room. Where much like how Full House episodes would usually end with Danny getting wicked sentimental about whatever the episode was about, DJ does the same with Jackson. She understands he didn't wanna share a room and explains how she felt the same way back in the 80's when she had to share with Steph.
Jackson then compares him running away to when she ran away to live in the garage. Which she was not thrilled he knew about. Not exactly the same as hiding in your uncle's truck and proposing leaving the country, but you get the point.
Romana then half heartily offers to give Jackson his room back, however DJ lets her keep it. Such a Romana move, I'm really not a big fan of hers at all. You can tell she's gonna be a total bitch in high school. Plus she's low key is racist towards white people as she bashes the Fullers for being white AF. I'm not gonna let that kind of hatred stand. Plus you don't offer someone something if you don't really want to give it to them. Nobody likes an indian giver. (idk if that is a term you can't say anymore but it fits the situation perfectly)
After the mushiness the episode ends with a group hug, and we have officially enter Full-Fuller House mode.
P.S. I NEED that anchor pillow and weird statue next to it, idk what it is exactly but I need it.
If you are anything like me (Hopefully for your sake you aren't) You have already finished the first season of Fuller House on Netflix and were left with one major question:
So is this it?
Luckily for all of us who enjoyed the show that question was quickly answered, no it is not, Fuller House second 2 will happen.
I for one am pumped, really enjoyed the show. I'm not gonna post any spoilers on this blog, if you enjoyed my episode 1 recap you are in lucky, I am going to post more episode recap blogs. Probably not every episode as there are a few that aren't as noteworthy as others but do expect a few more recaps!
Another question another season poses is "Will Michelle be back?" Many Fuller House fans hope so, if you read my last blog you know my stance on the Olsen twins. However I'm not a monster, if they wanna come back I guess I can be down with it. If I was a betting man (which I am ) I'd say 40% chance we get at least a Michelle cameo in season 2.
Hopefully we just don't have to wait another 20 years for the next season. My guess with absolutely no grounds or facts would be Season 2 will debut sometime in 2017.
P.S. I can't say is this it without thinking about this 80's fire. I'm a big Huey Lewis guy.