On Monday the new Rhode Island Tourism logo and slogan was announced. I saw a bunch of people of Facebook and twitter complaining about the new slogan and didn't really think anything of it. I mean, I live in RI the tourism slogan doesn't really matter to me I can't be a tourist in my own state. I wanna preface this by saying I'm not a hard try-hard Rhode Islander who always bashes the state. I love Rhode Island, it's absolutely beautiful, I'm so happy to be from here and live in the state. This post is just some really tough love. Like Adrian Peterson tough love.
Like most Rhode Islanders and even more so, like most people from Narragansett I "hate" tourists. I say hate tourists but I more so just hate the traffic and lines at bars. Tourists are a necessary evil because of all the money they pump into to local economy. I get that, don't really have too much of a problem with that. But I guess I hate the tourists too actually just because I hate everybody. I'm an equal opportunity hater. As I've said before, I start off hating new people and they need to earn their keep. Just how I roll. Sorry not sorry.
But the more I look at this logo and slogan I too hate. First off because it's Gina's big project. I don't like Gina at all.
Do I know her policies? No not at all.
But I've said it in past blogs and podcasts, I love to judge people, yeah it's not the best trait but it's fun and this also joking around so relax. I can tell just by looking at her that Gina is a huge C yoU Next Tuesday. Can't trust those beady mousey eyes for one second.
I'm not gonna get too in depth with the costs but I heard the logo itself cost around 1.5 million which to me is insane. This is what we get for 1.5 mill???? I don't understand how it could ever be that expensive to mess around with Photoshop/Microsoft paint for a few hours to create a logo.
The design and slogan both suck.
First off the slogan "Cooler and Warmer" is just simply an awful slogan. I get that it's supposed to be like a double entendre but it isn't catchy, good and especially isn't cool. It looks and sounds like a 2nd grader thought of it. A double entendre is supposed to be witty, funny or suggestive. Not just two words that have opposite meanings throwing up against the wall. Use your brain one time for me Rhode Island. We have an Ivy League school and fucking RISD in our backyard so I'd say creative minds is one thing this state definitely has and this is what we come up with? Ohhhhhhh it's because it is warm in the summer BUT we're also trying to be hip and cool....get it? Right? That's catchy and rolls off the tongue and won't get made fun of at all....God it's like they did this as a publicity stunt just to piss off the state. Best part of it is apparently when they first announced this Monday that they posted a video and what was supposed TF Green Airport was actually Iceland. Classic mix-up, Iceland and TF Green basically the same thing. Sidetone I hate that they call it the Providence airport when it is clearly in Warwick. Learn Geography once for me.
It's just so Rhode Island to be way behind the times think it is cool to say you're cool. We're a second rate state and Providence is like a third-tier city.
Do you know anything about being cool, Rhode Island? First rule of being a cool person is to not say you're cool. This is fucking day one stuff. No cool person ever has called themselves cool. How can a state with such a corrupt history be so uncool? Who did everybody think was cool in school? The kids who got in trouble. Someone with an edge to them. Everybody knows that chicks like bad boys. Rhode Island should be bad ass with our history. I mean we had Buddy Cianci (RIP) and the Mob and still are lame AF.
Now with the logo. Apparently it was designed by the same guy who came up with "I (heart) NY" in the 1970's. Talk about a one hit wonder, 40 years later this is what we get? I love NY is probably the most iconic state tourism design in the country and we get "cooler and warmer" or is it "warmer and cooler"? I don't even know but both are God awful. The color scheme stinks. Rhode Island is a blue state, in more ways than one, and we tried to throw in orange....not a good look.
It's like when a sports team totally shakes up their uniforms when they had a good thing going. Sometimes it works, but most of the time it doesn't. I'll give you the most recent example from the major 4 sports. Here are the Atlanta Hawks' old uniforms that they used for like the last decade. Were they great? No but they were decent and by no means bad.
Then they tried WAYYYYY too hard to be hip, cool and new **cough, cough GINA** and came out with these eye sores. Puke City.
Welcome to Atlanta where the playas play, and we have the worst uniforms in the NBA.
(to the people who don't get that great reference)
Plus the actual design in the logo sucks too. It is supposed to be a sail because the ocean is our biggest attraction. But is sooooo basic and under-designed that it sorta looks like a shark fin. Not exactly what you people to be thinking about when promoting the many beaches in RI.
What I find hilarious about this awful logo and slogan is apparently it took months to design and was very expensive. Then I see today that Missy Hardesty (idk who that is) posted a better option on Facebook. It came with a WAY better slogan and logo and apparently took her like 15 minutes. If Rhode Island had 1/2 a brain they'd change the new logo and slogan to this.
This is actually beautiful, the colors make sense, the design is simple, but sleek and works amazingly. Well done to Missy and thanks to her mom for sharing it. I couldn't embed it on my blog but this is her design and it is literally 1,000,000 times better than "Cooler and Warmer". This is an ACTUAL play on words that makes sense. Sea (like the ocean) to believe. Bravo. I don't wanna jump to conclusions but that is a legit perfect slogan. Go on Facebook and share her post!
But knowing how stupid and behind the times my home state is, they most likely will stick with the awful slogan "cooler and warmer" which makes no sense and has to be explained to people. So because I do feel bad for shitting on my home state I'm gonna try to help. In order to try to help make the state "cooler" I'm gonna end this blog with a few pieces of advice to make Rhode Island cooler for tourist and locals alike.
1. Have bars close after 1 PM in the summer.
This is a no brainer. Anybody who knows anything about being cool knows that drinking is awesome. However in Rhode Island most bars either close or stop serving at 1 am. Keep bars open later, it will make people happier. Plus think of all the extra money put into the economy when you have an extra hour to get drinks. Another hour for those people go grab food. More money. Another hour for taxi/uber drivers. More money. Maybe some drunks have a kid, even more money. It doesn't have to be everywhere but places like Providence, Warwick, Newport, Westerly and Narragansett (pipe dream) that get a lot of people in the summer should have bars opened til at least 2.
2. Bring back the Newport Yachting Center
I believe last summer it was torn down and turned into a parking lot. Since we don't have any real pro sports in this state and are never going to, one way to create a buzz is through events. Going to comedy shows in Newport at the Yachting was awesome, I saw Louis C.K. and Aziz Ansari there just to give a couple examples. So much fun. Now that great attraction is gone. You need cool shit to do to make people wanna come to Rhode Island. So bring back that and also have more concerts, comedy shows, other things across the entire state not just Newport to get people excited. This isn't exactly rocket science.
3. Those two were free, next one is gonna cost you RI. Feel free to give me a position as a advisor or something, one thing I have a lot of is ideas. My contact info should be posted somewhere on this website.
I'm glad to announce that dozonlife will now have a featured podcast called "Three Man Parlay" hosted by me, Doz and two of my good friends Jake and Don.
Basically what you can expect is around an hour of us talking about the week (or two) that was in sports, pop culture, news, etc. We just started last week and are very new to this, hopefully we can record a podcast every two weeks, hopefully more often than that depending on how our lives are going.
A few things I want you to know before listening:
-If you're old please do not listen, we are 3 dudes in our mid 20's talking like we're just hanging out so you may be offended. (So Mom I know you're reading this stay away!!)
-I edited the first podcast and frankly had no idea wtf I was doing. A few parts that were cut out and I don't know how to bring them back. So just know when Jake was talking about sportscenter adding a bunch of new female talent recently that there was more to his take that I like an idiot accidentally edited and lost forever. Basically he was trying to say that ESPN has added a lot more attractive women lately because they know sex sells but today if you say that you are sexist even though it is the truth. It kind of ends mid sentence on the podcast and jumps...whatever I'm learning.
-More importantly I accidentally lost a part of me giving my man Tim Tebow some love. Any chance I get to s/o Timmy I will, so even though it was lost on this podcast he will be mentioned again I can promise that.
-Part of the podcast is about how we don't have a name, we have now picked one so disregard all talk about that.
-I personally don't think our takes are too hot, that being said it's a comedy/sports podcast mainly so if you are somehow offended please know this was not done maliciously.
-There is a LOT of penis talk
-When editing it I noticed some stuff came off kind insensitive for today's day in age but just know we were basically trying to say how cool we are with gay people and gay rights so much that we don't care about someone being gay because it doesn't matter or impact how you are as a person. Dozo has a LOT of love for the LBGT community.
-We need a theme song and other ideas for the show so if you have any feel free to comment, tweet or email me.
-You can reach the Official Three Man Parlay Podcast via email at ThreeManParlay@gmail.com
Sooooooooooo if you listen and like it thats awesome! if you don't please don't try to ruin our lives.
We tried to joke around about big stories and just because one of us may not have said it delicately because frankly we are dumb dudes who may have trouble elaborating eloquently do not assassinate our character because at the end of the day this is us just having fun, being dudes, joking around. I hope you enjoy!!!!
So without further ado, I give you the first episode of The Three Man Parlay Podcast presented by dozonlife.com
Doz's Guide to tipping
They say, "you can tell how a person truly is by the way they treat a waitress". I personally could not agree more that saying that I may or may not have butchered. If you haven't worked a service job in your life you will never truly understand how it is dealing with people in that setting. You can't say anything if they're being an asshole usually because you need to be polite and nice to try to get the best tip possible. I'll give you an inside scoop.....it fucking sucks, because there are a lot of scumbags out there. I hope after you read this and absorb the knowledge (how to be a decent person) you can use it in your everyday life.
First off I'm gonna say this; I understand for people around my age you may be broke, you're probably in college or recently out of school or have a crappy job like most people I know, but that doesn't make it okay to be a shitty tipper and treat people who are giving you a service poorly. ESPECIALLY if you have or used to work in service, that really blows my mind.
There is one thing I must get across, things like delivery, having someone bring your bags to your hotel room, valet, or good service in general is a LUXURY. Luxury costs more, that's why a BMW is more than a Honda Civic. Someone is bringing something to you that you very easily could do yourself, there is a premium that needs to be paid. Tipping someone who drove 12 minutes to your shitty college rental house $1.34 is not okay and honestly doing it should make you feel like a scumbag. Even if it takes like 45 minutes you need to use your brain and realize that on a Friday or Saturday night the place you're ordering from is probably busy. Think about it, if you went out to a restaurant on a Saturday night, you most likely aren't gonna get to sit down right away. Same goes for ordering delivery. With delivery all you gotta do is give $5 and the driver will be happy. It's not like going to a restaurant where they are expecting 20%. Five bucks is good for any delivery under $50, then over that I'd go up a few.
My rule of thumb is I'd rather over-tip than under-tip because being in the industry I know how awful it is. Giving a few extra bucks to a waiter/waitress doesn't really hurt you and can really make their day. Even if the service is awful I'll very rarely ever go under 20%, you have to be the worst server ever for me to go below that threshold. I'd also like to point out that I'm 24 and work a part time job so its not like I'm Rockefeller over here, but going out and having a good time is a luxury and if you can't afford to tip decently you honestly shouldn't be going out/getting delivery/using valet etc. If you're at a restaurant and you don't tip your server well you're a piece of shit, and if there is a mess up or the food takes a little while that shouldn't impact the server since it's probably the back of the houses fault. If he/she is taking good care of your table, checking up on drinks and such that is what determines good service IMO. So unless your server is hitting on your date or seriously busting balls, don't be an ass hole and tip accordingly. I personally start at 20% and the better they are the better the tip, but again it's almost impossible for me to drop below 20%.
When at a busy bar you may have to wait a little, but usually no matter what you gotta give at least a dollar per drink. Now this is a spot where I can side with the public and can acknowledge there are a lot of bartenders that are ass holes because its so busy and they'll make good money no matter what. But if you don't tip on your drinks they aren't gonna come back to you, that is just logic 101. Pro tip is just getting a tab and tipping at the end of the night.
Overall it's just a bad look to not be a good tipper, gotta take care of people if you wanna get taken care of, scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. It's not groundbreaking stuff here but you'd be surprised by how many awful tippers there are out there.