Bill Belichick doesn’t like the NFL telling him what to do, right down to the jerseys his players wear in practice.

Two years ago, the NFL ordered Belichick to stop having players practice in numberless jerseys, as he had been doing in Organized Team Activities. So now Belichick has players wearing numbers in OTAs. But many Patriots are wearing numbers that they won’t wear when the season starts.

That’s why running back Sony Michel is wearing No. 51 at OTAs, even though when the season starts he has to wear a running back number, which in the NFL means numbers between 20 and 49.

Belichick scoffed about the significance of giving rookies their numbers at this point in the offseason.

“Really not too worried about all the important stuff like that — numbers and what color gloves you wear and all of that,” Belichick said, via ESPN. “That’s not really at the top of the list right now. Trying to learn football, trying to become a team, trying to get better each day — that’s really where our focus is.”

All of the Patriots’ draft picks are currently practicing with numbers in the 50s, even players like Michel and rookie quarterback Danny Etling, who obviously won’t be wearing 50s numbers when the season starts. Undrafted rookies are wearing numbers in the 60s and 70s.

Belichick liked practicing without numbers because he felt it forced players to communicate better and not rely on jersey numbers to identify each other. It’s a tactic Belichick learned from studying Hall of Fame Steelers coach Chuck Noll, who often had his players wear jerseys without numbers in practice. Now that the NFL has prevented the Patriots from going numberless, Belichick has found the next-best thing.

via: ​ www.yahoo.com/sports/bill-belichick-running-back-sony-084858155.html

I'm still really fucking mad at Belichick.  Like reaaaally mad. More upset and hurt, but definitely also mad. I feel like some girl who's boyfriend cheated on her, obvi she broke up with him. (off season since Super Bowl) Only thing is deep down she still loves him. She eventually goes back into his arm's. She's pretty but not the most confident girl, and he's just so funny and has a great job. Of course she goes back. We all knew she was going back. Even though he fucked up she knows deep down that she's likely never gonna do better.

That's the Patriots and especially Patriot fans with Bill Belichick. What Belichick did in the Super Bowl with Malcolm Butler will forever enrage me, I 100% believe it cost the Patriots a championship but at the end of the day he's the greatest coach in the history of the game and we're lucky to have had him at the helm every year of this millennium. 

That being said this classic Belichick troll moves definitely help Bill get back in my good graces. He's off the couch now for sure, but still on thin ice.  He's just too concerned with watching taping and teaching techniques during the day, then at night when he sleeps in his dream's he's watching a potential bowl game between Florida vs. Rutgers for him to scout the 3 defensive backs in the middle rounds he'll draft.

He's way too busy to worry about uniform numbers at OTAs. I first thought something was up when I saw a picture of the all the 1st round picks in their new team uniforms with their regular numbers but Sony Michel was still wearing #1.  Bizarro!

After being told by the league rookies had to have numbers to practice in Bill puts out a fucking QB in the Dozah 58. cryface laughing emoji x3. 

Instead of following the NFL positional number rules (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Football_League_uniform_numbers#Post-1973_changes) Belichick just assigned numbers 50 to their first pick, 51 to their second pick, etc. No time for rules during OTA's unless it's drilling players on the actual on the field rules and situational football.

It's not the funniest thing I've ever seen Belichick do but it made me chuckle. Although it is really weird seeing a QB rocking #58. Looks good though, don't hate it. I know I could've been a GREAT option-QB but that's not what this post is about. What it's about is Belichick twisting his "fuck you" knife into the league just a little with this act of defiance and rebellion. 

So yeah Bill, I guess you don't need to sleep on the couch anymore but you are for sure still in the dog house, don't even think about asking for sex tonight because it is out. of. the. question.

​*pulls down sleep mask*

​**puts in mouth guard**

​**fumbles to turn off the bedside light with the sleep-mask already on**

Good-night Bill.



**give him a sleep-mask, mouth guard kiss because deep down you're still madly in love with this man**

This is kind of a random topic that could be addressed at any point, but I was talking about one of these ideas with one of my buddies the other night which inspired me to go all out and think of four more ways to improve baseball.

Baseball is depending on the time of the year, anywhere from my 1st to 3rd most favorite sport. I don't think most favorite is proper English, but neither is 56% of what is written on this site so let's just move on.

I love baseball and think it is for the most part fine, but like everything in life there is always room for improvement.  I could do without the old-timey crusty losers who get mad at bat flips and players having an ounce of personality. But I like how there's 162 games. I don't want that to change. For 6 months straight if you want to watch the Sox (or your shitty team that doesn't really matter) they are there. It's like the line in Fever Pitch, they're always there for you when other parts of your life may not be. 

Sure games could be a little quicker, but I think that's more just the ADHD generation with no attention span not being able to appreciate all the little nuances that make baseball great. Baseball is the thinking man's (or lady's) game. Baseball is also almost the exact same as football in the sense of stop time between plays and actual time of action during the game. You don't see people complaining about pace of play in the NFL. To me that's what makes it the perfect in-person sport. You can fuck around with your buddies in the stands, and still be able to not miss the action.

People have talked about radical ideas to change the game like 7 inning games, starting runners on 2nd base in extra innings, and shortening the season. I personally am not a fan of any of those ideas. Baseball is the one sport where statistics still truly matter and with all the history and whathaveyou chopping two innings off a game or 30 games off the schedule will fugggg everything up so it's a no thank you for me in that department. 

That being said I have a few (five) ideas to improve the game of baseball. You may like some, I hope for my sake you do. Without further ado here they are.

1. Eliminate Divisions

Of all my ideas this is by far the most radical, and one that I understand will likely never happen because of the money generated with division champs gear and shit like that, but I truly believe deep down it's a good idea in the long run for beisbol.

Before 1969 there were no divisions in baseball. So it's not like this idea is unprecedented.  For like 400 years it was just the AL and NL. Whoever finished the regular season in first won the Pennant and went to the World Series. There were plenty of seasons when teams won 100+ games and didn't make the World Series which at the time was the only playoff round. Then from 1969-1993 (except for strike shortened 1981) there were two divisions: East and West with a league championship series between the division winners to determine who represented each league to go to the World Series. In 1994 the league broke into three divisions adding the Central, this also added the Wild Card into the mix to give the playoffs a round 4 teams. This change allowed the best 2nd place team to make the playoffs.

Currently in baseball each league is divided into three divisions. East, Central, and West. The division winners automatically make the playoffs and the top two non-division winners (wild cards) play in a one game playoff to determine who goes on to the division series. I am a fan of the expansion of the playoffs over the years. Cinderella runs are what make sports great. If we knew what was going to happen the sport would suck and not be entertaining. Case and point your 2017-18 Boston Celtics. We have plenty of examples of teams who have won the World Series as wild cards: 97 & 03 Marlins, 02 Angels, 04 Red Sox, 11 Cardinals, and 14 Giants.  I think that's everybody. Who knows how history would look if there was a wild card in 1970's?

Unless MLB is going to change it's current 5 team playoff format with a one game playoff I think the league should eliminate divisions and just go back to an American and National League. Goodbye divisions. Instead of having three division champs and two wild cards you now just do five best records make the playoffs. The only thing it really changes is division titles as accomplishments for teams to hang their hats on. In a perfect world teams would have a balanced schedule against their league. This way fans get more opportunities to see players from cities who don't come to town that often. I think this is way more fair and rewards the best teams which IMO is what we should be doing. It doesn't hold arbitrary divisional alignments loosely based on geography to determine who wins the World Series. 

As a Red Sox fan you could think I'm just saying this because of the chance the Red Sox could end up winning 100+ games this year. That is partly true but I've also thought this for at least five year. Lol at me 4 tweeting at Salk.

This way the best teams don't have to play in that (while exciting) gimmicky play-in game. I personally am not a fan of the one-game playoff. I just think in a sport where you play 162 games to get to the playoffs to have one game determine who goes on is not fair where anything can happen. Especially should a wild card team finish above a division winner in the overall standings. Not only is it unfair for the wild-card teams but the #1 seed as well. The #1 seed is required to play the wild-card game winner. This really can end of hurting the #1 seed as they could be facing a team who is actually the 2nd or 3rd best in the league instead of 5th.

The perfect and most glaring example supporting my claim is the 2015 National League Standings. That year the Mets ended up winning the the pennant. Mainly due to great pitching, the bat of Daniel Murphy and the fact that they got to avoid 2 of the 3 NL Central juggernauts despite finishing with the worst record of National League playoff teams.

In 2015 the Dodgers won the West with 92 wins. The Mets won the East with 90. The NL Central featured three playoff teams. The central champion Cardinals who went 100-62 (possibly the most forgettable 100 win team of the last 20 years, close runner up 08 Angels), the Pirates won 98 games and Cubs won 97. The 98-64 Pirates season was done after just one playoff game when they ran into Jake Arrieta in the Wild-Card game when he was on one of the most impressive starting pitching runs I've ever seen in my entire life. 98 wins and poof. Just like that they're one and done.

That season under my rules would've had the final NL standings look like this:

1. Cardinals 100-62
2. Pirates 98-64
3. Cubs 96-66
4. Dodgers 92-70
5. Mets 90-72. 


In the 18 seasons completed this millennium the World Series winner has averaged just 89 wins. I thought that seemed low so I took out the 83 win Cardinals and 103 win Cubs to balance things out and it ended up with an average of 94 wins which is still surprisingly low imo. The 2004 Red Sox also won 98 games and were a wild-card. Back then they didn't have to worry about a play in game, but they very easily could've lost a wild-card game had it been in existence back then, which would've been against the 91-71 Oakland A's. Imagine how different baseball history would be if the 2004 Red Sox lost in the fucking wild card game? That year despite being the "wild-card" they had the league's 2nd best record. Just like the Pirates. 


This way every win and every game matters. You won't hear that "games in April don't matter" bull shit because now those few games could be the difference between avoiding the play-in game or not. I think this season where you could see the Red Sox and Yankees both win 100 + games and one would have to play in the Wild-Card game. Then say they win they get to face the other team in the ALDS. Meanwhile the Cleveland Indians who will end up winning the Central this year may end up with like 86 wins and automatically appear in the ALDS. Under my format they could miss the playoffs entirely.

​2. Add a Pitch Clock

Pace of play has been the big buzzword talking point in baseball the last few seasons. I never played the game competitively so I understand there are a lot of little things players understand that I never will, but as a fan who's been watching for nearly 20 years (see my last blog) I do think there are tons of guys who add unnecessary time to the game with stupid routines and antics. Most notably my man Nomar and his batting gloves. Pitchers like Alex Cobb and Yu Darvish are some of the worst offenders for taking their time on the bump.

I think we eventually will see a 20 second pitch clock in the game. Even though it'd annoy me because it's not a 0 or 5 number but I'd be fine if it was even 22 seconds. The minor leagues already do it. I believe over time as more and more guys will get used to it it won't be a big deal. But for now with the strongest union in America you know guys aren't gonna wanna change. Maybe 20 years from now the pitch clock will as much a part of the game as the count.

What should happen is you have 20 seconds to pitch and if you don't release a pitch in time the batter gets awarded a ball. While I don't want NBA like shot-clock reviews to see if guys get pitches off in time I think a loose 20 seconds at the umps discretion is a good compromise, although I'd prefer to see a stricter interpretation. I just think the idea of challenging over whether or not a ball was still on a guy's fingertip at .01 is idiotic. 

​3. Bring Back Blocking The Plate and Breaking Up Double- Plays.

The play at the plate used to be one of the most exciting plays in baseball until it got ruined because Buster Posey was out of position.

Much like today's outrage snowflake culture instead of finding a middle ground, the league decided to ban collisions at home plate all together. One major injury to a star and it's sayonara. Now runners can be ruled safe if it determined a catcher was breaking the rules by protecting the plate aka doing a thing that was a major part of the game for 100+ years. Baseball needs more excitement and action as "being boring" is one of the biggest complaints against the game today. Ruining one of the most exciting plays in the game because of a freak injury imo is a little extreme and has definitely hurt the game. Casual fans love shit like home plate collisions.  Btw If this injury happened to Brayan Peña the rule is never changed.

Same thing goes with breaking up double plays. While I think plays like Chase Utley in the 2015 NLDS are dirty there are clean ways to play hard and break up a potential twin-killing while still being safe. If a former middle infielder in Michael Young is for breaking up double plays, who in theory would be getting "protected" by the rule if he was still playing today speaks volumes. Bring back hard-nosed smash mouth baseball.

​4. Allow Teams To Use a Pinch-Runner Once a Game Without Losing Whoever He Replaced in The Line Up.

This is the idea that sparked the list. I don't like how in sports like baseball or soccer once a player is removed he cannot return to the game. I guess I get it in a match-up stand point, managers could bring in players depending on who's pitching. With today's advanced metrics that could be a nightmare. 

However I do believe there is a happy-medium here. I'm pretty sure this is a rule in the Women's College World Series and Little League World Series where a pinch-runner can enter the base-paths for a player but not take them out of the line up.

Managers would be more likely to be aggressive in late innings.  There have been probably hundreds of times in my life where I wanted to Red Sox to pinch run for David Ortiz late in games, but the Sox wouldn't so they could still have his bat in the line up should the game continue. Then in the reverse times where in extras they'd pinch run for him but not score then an inning and a half later you have Darnell McDonald hitting 4th. Not ideal.

The rule I have works like this: Once a game a team can use a designated pinch runner. This runner may take over for any base-runner without taking over for him defensively and in the batting order. The runner would only be allowed to stay in the game for that base-running attempt. Should the game continue he would be removed from the game and not allowed to reappear. Should the team somehow bat around in an inning where the designated pinch-runner is used the original hitter must hit.

What I like most about this idea other than the potential strategic component and excitement to the game is that it's a big change, but still not that drastic. Definitely different a little outside the box in baseball standards, but you aren't completely altering the game and it's history by adding this. Plus most importantly you are finding a way to add excitement to the game which is something it drastically needs.

5. Market Stars and Allow People To Post MLB footage Online

What's this man's name?

If you don't know you're proving my point exactly.

That is Mike Trout. Hands down the best player in baseball. Two-time MVP. 5 Silver Sluggers. On base machine. He could get hit by a truck and die tomorrow and still make the Hall of Fame with what he's already accomplished.

The major problem with baseball is this man is marketed worse than planned parenthood in Syria. I love baseball and watch hundreds of games a year and have probably seen 40 live Mike Trout at bats in my life. The dude is never on tv and isn't really broadcast in commercials or endorsements unlike other superstars in the other sports. Trout is the most glaring example of the league's star issue but he's not the only one. How many casual baseball fans know who Trey Turner is? Or Nolan Arenado? Francisco Lindor? Exactly.

Baseball's biggest problem is baseball. They need to broadcast the amazing things these dudes do on the diamond every night of the week. But guess what if you tweet out a recorded clip from your tv MLB will suspend your account.  Every league needs to copy the NBA's policy with social media. They realized that having highlights shared on social media actually helps expose the game and it's brand. Major League Baseball and the NFL both need to take a page out of Adam Silver's book and let fans share homemade highlights.

Maybe if more people saw the crazy catches Jackie Bradley Jr. makes on a nightly basis they'd wanna see more? Perhaps if the average sports bum on the street knew who Carlos Martinez was baseball would be doing a little better? If baseball wants to not end up like the NHL as some weird niche league they need to broadcast how great their product is and how many young stars their are in this league. 

So those are my five ways to make baseball better. What do you think? What should MLB to do improve it's product?

Over a career that has spanned nearly 20 years (any time period over 15 years is considered nearly 20 to me) John Mayer has done it all, and not just talking in the ladies department.

He's had massive commercial success, a house full of Grammys, performed with the likes of the Grateful Dead, B.B. King (RIPIP), and Eric Clapton just to name a few. Shockingly he's never had a top 10 hit on the Top 40 which shows how meaningless at times that list can be. His cameo in Get Hard made the movie. Get Hard kinda stunk, but the "You ever see 100 women get wet at the same time? Watch this" line is perfect and 100% true if we're being real, should change his name to LL because ladies love John Mayer.

 He's accomplished all that while staying true to himself and his own sound while creating whatever kind of music he wants. Case and point with his latest music video "New Light" that he teased on instagram yesterday.

Staying truthful to calendars and time John released the full music video today. Top premium content! On instagram John said this regarding the new video: 

"I needed to make a video for New Light but nobody could agree on a budget, so I went to a place downtown and made this with a company that usually does birthday and Bar Mitzvah videos. Link. In. Bio." 

John Mayer is ready to be a star!

I absolutely love this concept because it shows how you can still make a great product without spending a ton of money. It's hokie AF, bad on purpose which in today's deep dark meme, anti-joke internet age ends up being extra hilarious. Not being funny is funny! I may be in luck! I love that type of comedy. Infact it's why sometimes my blogs aren't good. I'm going for the so bad it's good crowd. Like when people will say dogs are so ugly that they're cute. (Side note there's gotta be girls with that same kinda mindset right?) Cringe stuff like Nathan For You, Curb, Arrested Development etc. are right up my alley. I love so bad it's good stuff and I'd say this video falls right into that category, although imo it's just plain old fashioned good-good. 

This video has everything: green-screens, dad-like dance moves, the pants James Franco wore in Pineapple Express

A max $250 production value, spins, the Whitehouse, fireworks, friendly waves, zebras, clearly fake guitar solos, baseball with no bat, and more dancing!

If you like great music and laughing you have to see this video. It's just a fun video, plain and simple.  Don't miss out on the actual song either! I've already listened to it 3 times during the creation of this blog. That "pushing 40 in the friendzone" line holy crap. This should be a pretty big hit.

The reviews from fellow celebs are in layman's terms "good".

I know Youtube has allowed the art of the music video to live on, and there have obviously been some legendary music videos post-2005 but with the complete death of music videos and music content in general on MTV and VH1 I still feel like music videos aren't what they were when I was growing up and long (a decade-ish) before I was born. 

I would get up for school and have MTV on when I got dressed to see the latest videos. Now I don't even have MTV because there's no point I literally never watch it. It wasn't always like that! I can vividly remember seeing 50 do upside down sit ups in "In Da Club" waiting to leave for school. After school in early middle school I'd be watching TRL everyday. I had to see who was #1. It was the golden age of MTV. Before the internet was truly the internet it was how you got your music news. They used to retire videos after I wanna say 55 days, then they got rid of retiring videos. Idk it's been like 15 years and I just miss TRL, okay?! Today's generation just hasn't really gotten to experience anything like that and probably never. It was a sad day when TRL went off the air. I can still remember when people were going so crazy for a guest down on the street, I wanna say Eminem or Mariah Carey that they had to cover the windows to try to get people to calm down. You aren't going to see those reactions for a music video program anytime soon/ever again. That may change with what John Mayer did in "New Light". Final review this video is actually good! Yay John.

Song: Maps
Artist: Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Album: Fever To Tell


P sure this has been a song of the day b4 but idc it's my blog and still a beautiful song + it has been stuck in my head for 3 days so here you go.

Today the NFL announced a new rule regarding National Anthem protocol; a sentence pre-2016 me would've never imagined.

​Essentially all players and personnel on the sidelines must stand for the National Anthem. Not only stand, but give the flag quote "appropriate respect". What that means.... who knows? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

They (players/coaches) don't have to stand if they don't have to. They are just required to remain in the locker-room. Any sort of "protest" or actions deemed disrespectful will warrant both a penalty on the field and fine.

Many people are upset with the league saying the rule is a violation of free speech, pro-racism, and an a "forced nationalist display". 

Personally, I'm sick of this topic and kind of hate people on both sides of the argument because it is just another at the end of the day trivial issue causing incredible divide in this country.  Not to sit on a fence but I can see where both sides come from. I am not a sheep and do not stick to one side. I make no sense politically. I hate government assistance I don't think welfare should exist (v far right stance), but also hate homelessness and think we need to do more to stop it which completely contradicts that stance. I'm pro choice, but definitely would prefer that abortions didn't happen. I am pro gay rights AF but also think the 913 gender shit is fucking lunacy.

My 25 cent take on it is this: I am fine with the NFL making this rule. It definitely infringes on player's rights, but the NFL is allowed to do that. We all give up certain rights with our employers. I'd love to wear basketball shorts and flip flops to work, but they say it's against the rules so I can't do that. Idk all the technical business terms, but as a professional sports league they can have their own rules that players have to follow. It's not a right to play in the league it's a privilege. I don't agree with a lot of what the NFL believes in but understand that they are totally within their right to act however they want, regardless of how asinine at times. More on this in the P.S.

What ole Dozo cares about is the change to kickoffs. I feel like this story has gotten way less attention as the politically driven National Anthem stuff pushes all the headline buttons. Special teams are inherently boring to most, (I'll go to the bathroom during a punt) so of course a change to kickoffs to casual fans may not seem like a huge deal, but it should.

Watch this video to see how the league is castrating the kickoff. In classic NFL-form they did not send out this tweet thoroughly explaining until 6:30 pm. 

Further explanation to the new rule.

• The elimination of running starts for kickoff coverage teams
• A requirement that eight of the 11 men on the return team must be aligned in the "setup zone" within 15 yards of the ball
• No blocking within the "setup zone" until after the ball touches the ground if it is not first caught
• The elimination of two-man wedge blocks
• Kickoff team must have five men lined up on either side of the ball, a move that will limit schemes designed to get free runners in coverage down the field.

It's a different font because I stole it from ESPN. I think they'll be ok.

I fucking hate it. No running start, crazy restrictions on how you can block, eliminating the wedge. This is a major step towards the NFFL: National Flag Football League. 

I'm all for trying to make the game safer, but at a certain point you need to realize that football is football. Hitting is pretty important part of the game. Kind of a big deal in the ole piggyskin tossy-catch.   Football is a dangerous sport and we need to accept that.  It's like trying to make a "healthy" pizza, sure there are things you can do to cut calories, thinner crust, less cheese, healthier toppings but at the end of the day it's still a fucking pizza. A thin-crust veggie pizza still isn't "good" for you. There's only so much you can do before you completely alter the product and leave it unrecognizable. 

I just do not like what is happening with football trying to take violence out of the game. Outlaw direct head shots, for sure. 

But the league has also gone a little headshot crazy. They think any hit above the top of the jersey numbers is helmet-to-helmet news flash it's not! Kind of how like some cops think any black dude with a hoodie on is resisting arrest.

The kickoff is one of the most important and exciting plays in the game. Much like how offensive line play usually goes overlooked, even more so does good special teams play, especially blocking on special teams. There are obviously the stud guys we grew up watching, return aces like Dante Hall, Devin Hester and Josh Cribbs who could make something out of nothing. But more times than not, there is a huge block or hit on a kickoff setting the returner free. Now idk how possible that will be with those outlaw of double-teams and blocking limitations.There is nothing like a great return. In today's game they are extra rare, but when they happen they are special, they can be the highlight of a game. Dan Connolly's near touchdown return against the Packers on SNF is an all time fat guy NFL moment. It's the only play I can remember from that game. I know that return happened, and that Aaron Rodgers was hurt so Matt Flynn started and played well. In addition to his week 17 game in 2011 this game helped him fleece the Seahawks.

How is that going to be possible now with the new rules? :(

Players know the health risks now. They know what they're getting into. Sure, in 1964 it was bad. Dudes would get 6 concussions in a month and not miss a down, then work in a battery factory in the summer. They didn't know any better about the head trauma. Now I think we can all agree that we know a lot more about the lasting impacts this game can have than we did even 5 years ago. Leaps have been made in the last decade. But the league needs to realize that injuries in football are a little thing called an occupational hazard. They will always happen. If you want to earn millions to play a game you need to understand you could turn into a vegetable at any moment. It's the risk you take.  Soldiers and cops know they can get shot. If you sign up to be a firefighter you know there's a chance you could end up looking like Digiorno that someone left in the oven too long because they were high and passed out for 3 hours.

While to some the changes might not seem like that big of a deal. To me it just seems like the beginning of the end of the kickoff in football. I think that would be a horrible thing to happen. It would totally alter the end of games. Without the potential for an onside kick coming back from multiple scores late would be nearly impossible. Plus it eliminates jobs which I don't like. If special teams get diminished their will be less of a need to keep certain guys on rosters and as a union man myself I cannot support anything that takes away work from my brothers.
​

P.S. 

Regarding the National Anthem changes. 
​
I completely understand where (especially black ) players are coming from in wanting social change. I'm all for that, and support it. I think we all should want change.  I think this country does have a huge police brutality issue, especially against minorities. And I mean, it's just a straight fact that racism as a whole still exists in the country, so I completely understand wanting to use a high profile platform to try to make a change. I think players should use their platform for good. Look at what J.J. Watt did for Houston after the Hurricane.

At the same time I'm also a respect the flag guy so I've always been more anti-kneeling. I've always said that I understand what guys are trying to accomplish, but  just wish their was another way to protest. IMO not standing (undistracted) for the anthem is disrespectful af. Well before this whole Kaepernick shit 2 years ago I did and still do get pissed when men wear hats during the anthem. To me it's just a respecting the troops thing. You might not think that's what it's about but that's what it's about to me. Not just the troops but the country as a whole. Don't let a few crazy ass holes completely change your views on America. It's still a great fucking place to live.  I know many players have said their protests have nothing to do with the troops, but it still to me and many other people it is just disrespectful. It's how I was raised, it's ingrained in me I'm not gonna change that. So to me the kneeling thing is just wearing a hat on steroids. All people have different interpretation of the National Anthem but to me it's about supporting the troops who sacrifice to keep us safe. I know in theory you can separate the two but I have a hard time doing that.

Former NFL QB (barely) Danny Kanell had a great point about the outrage regarding the NFL's new National Anthem policy. Why do people care so much? (either side)

Song: I Need To Know
Artist: Marc Anthony
Album: Marc Anthony

Damn how could a big man that handsome get nobody to go with him??? Also there shouldn't have been an apostrophe before s on that snap and even though I'm too lazy to re-read my blogs fully after completion seeing that error makes my skin crawl.

Exactly two weeks ago tonight I went to see one of my favorite bands HAIM in Boston at Agganis Arena. It was an incredible show and I'm so happy I finally saw them.

​Much like Kid Cudi on his 2009 masterpiece Man on the Moon: The End of The Day I was Mr. Solo Dolo. Mr. Solo Dozo if you will.

Yes that's right, hard to believe, I know, given how beloved (in my head) I am, but I could not get a single human being to come to this concert with me. I even went the old-person route and put out 2 (two) f book statuses about the show hoping to find someone. I was so down to reconnect with any random person(s) who was down. 

It was nice to get a few nibbles here, even if they were pity likes and comments. It's not like I couldn't find someone to go see the Beatles with me at Shea Stadium in 1965 which made the reality of going alone a little easier to deal with.

It's not like HAIM is insanely well-known so that's a big factor for sure, I'd like to think if I had tickets to Post Malone I could get people to come, but still human natures kicks in. We all want to be liked, and even though I have a solid core of friends it still stung. Nobody likes rejection. It definitely didn't feel awesome when I couldn't get 1 out of 740ish people I'm friends with on f book to accept free tickets to a kick ass sister trio rock band in Boston.

I am not an animal, I am a human being!
​

I still hadn't bought tickets as I was holding out hope I'd find someone to go with.  Then around 4:30 pm I was at a crossroads, one way lead to not seeing a band I have liked for over four years (I have timestamps to prove it)
​

because of social norms where it's considered weird/a loser move to do certain things alone (go to concerts, sporting events, movies, sit down meals etc). 

Nobody wants to be Steven Glansberg eating alone in the cafeteria.

The other option was to say "fuck it" and go see a band I've wanted to see for years (4 to be precise) regardless of who was or wasn't interested. Not let the fact that literally nobody I knew was interested in going. I was gonna see a band that I really love and try to have a good of time as possible. After bouncing the potential power move off a buddy that's what I decided to do. It felt right, it felt right (yeah!)!

I bought a floor ticket because if I'm gonna go alone I'm gonna have a great view. I'm a big baller. I think being alone on the floor you can blend way better. Being alone in a seat is just inherently more awkward. 
​
I'm not a guy who will let being alone stop me from doing things. This isn't a woe is me post, just me talking about a semi-taboo topic in the sense that people definitely will judge you for going to a show alone. I know a few people that have seen shows alone, one ended catastrophically with a .09 DUI,  but before I went it was something I didn't think I'd ever do.

But like I do not judge (here). Especially people going to the movies alone.  I think people who care about going to a movie alone are fucking losers. You go sit in a theater where you shouldn't be talking, who cares who you're with? Obviously it'd be cool have someone to go with bounce your thoughts on the movie off of but that's why twitter dot com exists. Back when I was delivering pizza and had most day time hours to do as I pleased I would catch matinees alone all the time. I have no idea how many, I'd guess at least over 25. I have no issue with that. I want to go to movies with people who go alone and just sit wicked far apart. I still don't think I'd ever go to a game alone, or out to eat a nice restaurant but with something as personal as music I just couldn't let this opportunity pass me by. So I did what I had never done in my 26 + trips around the sun, I ​went alone to a concert alone.

I gotta say it got easier as the night went on.  The worst parts were when I first parked my car and got out to walk into the arena, and when I first entered the arena. Just cause it was the first like "you're really here all alone" moment. It might sound soft but it can be kinda scary. Just to be all alone in a crowd of thousands. Not a single person who knows who you are. It was weird.

You just all these people together, all excited getting to have a shared experience and deep down I was like "man I am such a loser, I can't believe I drove up here all alone". You can't help but feel a little down that you're not their with people you care about.

Being a bigger dude too who doesn't exactly fit in with the stereotypical description of HAIM fan I definitely felt like I was being watched, and judged. I could be completely wrong but that's kinda how I always feel and it was just magnified walking into the elevator in the parking garage, then walking into the arena and going through security.

As one of the most awkward people alive I wasn't gonna start trying to strike up conversations and make friends. I sure as hell wasn't gonna spit any game, get rejected and ruin my night. I had a grand total of three non-transaction/talking to security interactions with humans after I officially entered the arena and two of them were me saying "thank you" after getting complimented on my Black Keys t-shirt (s/o my sister).

The first one happened when I was in line to get beer and some cute girl just said I love your shirt, in which I replied with a standard thanks, then we never saw each other again.  Boiler plate dozo conversation with a girl. The second time I was in line for beer again as I got two before the actual show started, of course I finished those in no time to help loosen me up and I wanted "one" more before the show. Some lady said I love the Black Keys, are they touring soon? Dead giveaway that she doesn't actually love them because if she did she'd know they've been on a hiatus since 2015.  It'd be like me saying I love Robin Williams, why hasn't he made any movies lately? To avoid confrontation I just said "nah they're not touring right now", which looking back I regret because I should've used this as an opportunity to share my vast knowledge on the subject. I mean what's the point of knowing all this useless music and sports knowledge if I'm never gonna use it in everyday life? Maybe if she wasn't married... and the third was saying yes when a couple around me asked if I could take their picture. I always say yes, I love to take strangers photos. That sounded creepy AS FUCK. So creepy that I just typed out AF for the first time in 2018. But what I mean is I like to do it for people, it's nice to help out your fellow human, plus I like to have a little fun with it. I told the guy that he needed to smile more and his girlfriend clearly appreciated that. I didn't this time but sometimes I like to pull an aunt at the family BBQ and say "make a silly face" but given being the 300 lb dude alone at a HAIM show I made the executive decision to withhold from saying that. 

As for the show itself it was fucking incredible. The opener Lizzo SUCKED. I didn't know any of her music. Big nasty black chick who shoves the fact that she's a big nasty black chick in your face. Aka the worst type of people. Not for me. Please cover up! She basically had her vadge hanging out which would've been cool 150 lbs ago. As a fat person I can say that, in fact that's the reason why I gained half of the weight I lost two years ago, so I'd be allowed to still talk shit about fat people. Like when the dentist (Bryan Cranston) converts to Judaism for the jokes. 

I just fucking hate the bodi-positive movement.  Sorry not sorry. If you're morbidly obese you shouldn't be proud about it. You don't see me wearing a mesh shirt like Sean Astin in 50 First Dates. 

Know your role.



As for the show itself, the HAIM sisters fucking killed it. I lucked out and was on Este's side of the stage in the crowd and proceeded to take a million photos and videos of her (as shown on my IG that I included). They talk a lot to the crowd, told family stories, ripped on each other. Este was just being her perfect, funny self. Gotta show love to Danielle and Baby Haim too. They were great. The set list was almost perfect, played nearly all their hits and best songs. Only was missing "If I Could Change Your Mind" which I'll add here to make up for the omission. 

If there's anything you can take away from this blog it's don't care what the fuck people think. If you want to go to a concert to see an act you love and nobody else wants to go, fucking go. Don't hold yourself back because of that. As I say that don't get me wrong, I'm more comfortable going to a show alone, but it's not something I'm in love with doing. I'd prefer to have friends with me, but I can't entirely rule out doing this again. If you embrace it and have fun that's all that matters. I had a blast at the HAIM show and if I hadn't put that weight back on for comedy purposes who knows maybe I could've ended up making out with a rando in the pit (probz not)? My point is this, if you wanna see a movie and nobody is free. Go. If you wanna see a band that not a lot of your friends are into on a Thursday night. Go. Just never go out to dinner alone because you'll end up trying to get the waiter and random men to sit with you so you aren't eating alone like Steven fucking Glansburg.

Last Friday "The Arctic Monkeys" released  Tranquility Base Hotel and Casino. It's the band's sixth album and first since 2013's AM.  I'm not some Chuck Klosterman full of them self music writer so I may be wrong, but to me what was really strange about this project is how this album had almost no buzz until the day before it's release. Not that people weren't excited, more so just no lead single and almost no media appearances until after it came out. Something you rarely see in music.  I remember the days where the lead single would come out four months before the album. I hadn't heard a second of   Tranquility Base Hotel and Casino until Friday when it came out.  I'm also not a legit music writer (obviously) just giving an opinion on a band I've enjoyed for some time so this isn't gonna be some looking down my nose using unnecessary SAT words to look smarter than I actually am NME/Pitchfork review.

I said Arctic Monkeys in quotations because it's not really a Monkey's album at all by it's sound. They've always kinda switched things up album to album, but IMO this just isn't Arctic Monkey's music. If you had never heard of the Arctic Monkey's and I played you Florescent Adolescent or Teddy Picker, then One Point Perspective you'd never guess they were by the same band.  

Tranquility Base Hotel and Casino sounds nothing like an Arctic Monkey's album at all. Completely stripped down from their signature sound. Very mellow, jazzy, which given the name of the album makes sense. It's a total concept album about this imaginary Hotel/Casino, and science fiction which is cool. I don't hate that, some of the most important/legendary albums of all time are concept albums. The Wall by Pink Floyd and Stg. Pepper by the Beatles are probably the two textbook example. It's just when one of your favorite bands (I can't believe I forgot them on my concert bucket list blog last year official-dol-summer-concert-bucket-list.html) hasn't made new music in half a decade you hope when they finally do it's something more close to home from a sound standpoint.

My favorite part about this album is that it just exists in general. It's a mini personal victory for me, because it means I was right. See last year,  right around URI graduation I had a conversation during one of my extremely awkward tinder hangouts (a blog that is long overdue) I talked to this chick about them and said I really hope they make new music soon, I heard rumors that they might next year and she was all like "no way, never gonna happen, Alex Turner hates them" blah blah blah. So take that! I get to shove this down her throat, until like something else that never got a chance because after you break somebody's bed that kinda goes out the window. Amirite?  So guess what Kelsey? Dozo was right, sorry about the bed again (even though it wasn't really broken more so just fell off the support beams that were way too small to begin with)_they did make a new album! Idc if it's Alex Turner make believe. I was right, you were wrong. That's all I need.

I'm not against artists experimenting and switching shit up, we all know my love of cross-genre covers. It's just I wish this was something done in between albums, not the culmination of five years wondering if they'll ever record again? Tranquility Base Hotel and Casino just simply isn't The Arctic Monkey's. It's Alex Turner passion project of pretending to be a 50's hotel lounge singer for hipsters to play on their record players that they got from FYE to impress their tinder dates. When I think Arctic Monkey's I want fast guitars and catchy hooks and chorus' in a Sheffield accent while I reminiscence about being 15. There's pretty much no guitars on this album except for "Golden Trucks" and one of the saddest guitar solo's you'll ever hear in "One Point Perspective". It's like loungey, hotel music which makes sense given the album and track titles. It's literally about some made up hotel and casino unless it's a metaphor for something going way over my head.

Tranquility Base Hotel and Casino is much more of a Alex Turner album than the actual band. From what I've read he pulled a Brian Wilson and tried to do his own Pet Sounds thing, writing the album alone on a piano than had the rest of the band come record what he made then bam AM has their 6th album. Cam Avery of Tame Impala (an act that has perfected the Brian Wilson blue-print to making music from genius Kevin Parker) appears on the album to play bass. If you haven't listened to Tame Impala fucking stop reading this blog and go listen to them for 45 minutes.

​I've now listened to the album about 5 times and have come up a conclusion. 

I think it's important to not just listen to album once then plop something out. Music grows with every listen, you catch things you missed before, really start to break down the lyrics and composition of the song. No one listen reviews are valid imo.

Despite everything that I just said, I don't hate this album. It's just really, reaaally different and not what I was expecting. It worries me because I really want to see them on this upcoming tour but I want a classic Monkey's show, not this. I want to wear knackered converses, not a three piece suit.

I do loveeeeeeeeee Four Out of Five, I've listened to it realistically about  37 times. I wish Apple Music had stats like old desktop itunes used to when I was adding music from Limewire to know exactly how many times I've played it. Tbh it kinda bums me out that I like that song the most since it ended up being the lead single, I just feel so lame when that is my favorite song off an album, but in my defense this all happened before I realized it was the lead single. At the end of the day who really fucking cares? My friend made a great point to me that it's usually the single for a reason.

The album opening line "I just wanted to be one of the Strokes" on Star Treatment has been a hot topic of discussion. You'd think I'd be a Strokes fan but I really don't know a ton of their music. It pretty much ends after "Last Nite"

If you are an Arctic Monkey's fan I definitely suggest giving Tranquility Base Hotel and Casino ​a listen just to hear it and make up your own mind. Based on comments I've read on youtube videos a lot of people love this album. What I think is really missing from the album is the singalong-ability. That's not exactly the most Oxford-Dictionary-y term I've ever used but like to me the Monkey's have so many classics you can just sing along to that are just fun songs. Here it's a little too serious, not a ton of chorus' or hooks. Like I've said 92 times, this does not sound like the Arctic Monkeys.  It's much more piano and crooner based, completely different from their sound. But still has classic wordsmith lyrics (including a dig at Trump!) that you expect from Alex Turner but it just makes me long of the days of their early work.

There are a few songs I like, but overall this album will be out of my rotation in about a week.  I'll give Alex Turner credit for taking a chance and going after something unlike anything else this band has ever done. "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take" - Wayne Gretzky/Michael Scott/ Dozo and at least he tried. I'l take an album I'm not in love with over nothing any day of the week. While I personally am not crazy about it, I love that Alex went for something different.

​Since I'm a former/future teacher we'll grade this and all future DOL album reviews on the classic A-F scale. I'd give Tranquility Base Hotel and Casino a C+. Passing grade, some may be proud of a C+ others may wear the belt from their dad, either way to me this album just leaves a lot more to be desired.

​As of now I'd say my three favorite songs are:

​3. The Ultracheese
2. Tranquility Base Hotel and Casino
1. Four Out of Five

Song: Weekend Special
Artist: Cobra Man
Album: New Driveway Soundtrack

​you've never heard this song before.

Let's get one thing straight. This dude Sidney Bouvier Gilstrap-Portley is a shitty guy.  Shitty guy with an all time name. With a name like Sidney Bouvier Gilstrap-Portley I expect him to be discovering a new country in the 1600's not finger fucking 14 year olds and playing high school basketball. Oh yeah you don't know that part yet unless you already ready the whole article via the link provided. In the part of the article that I didn't include  it happens to mention how  he also had a high school aged girlfriend. 14. That's really bad.  Aggressively young. Even when you're 17. Makes this story a lot less fun to talk about.

But I'm just focusing on the basketball side of things. He's also a scumbag for that. Using a natural disaster as means to relive high school basketball is just a little too deceitful. Pretending to be a victim to me is more fucked up than some way more serious crimes. It's a really scummy way to take advantage of people trying to do the right thing and get displaced kids back on their feet into some sense of normalcy. The whole using a hurricane that destroyed a city to your gain is something that does not sit well with me (like dairy, I'm 100% sure I'm lactose-intolerant, but just power through) . In short, fuck this guy.

I also think we need to hold the school accountable just a little the fact this dude just got away with for 9 months and probably still would be falling asleep in geometry if some random ass old coach of his didn't recognize him. I get it there's a lot going on but many put in 3 ounces of research.

That being said. I'm so jealous of this guy. He pulled it off. The dude did it. There are few things I want more than one more high school football game. Just one more game. I wish I could redo my senior year just because of how disappointing it was, but that's life and it's been a learning tool. I'm a loser I know, but it's just something I'll never be able to replicate again. I know people will be like "you're a loser for saying that", "only people who peaked in high school would say that". But hear me out do you know how much fun it would be go back and play high school sports in your mid 20's? I do not want to do high school all over again, but there were so many great parts of it that were so much fun and if you hate on that that's on you. 

I've had countless dreams that I somehow through a loophole was allowed to play HS football for two more years. I feel like I'm being really simplistic in this take here but that would be a fucking blast. To get to just dominate kids younger and not as talented as you. Granted that wouldn't be the case for me but this dude won the offensive player of the year in his league so he obviously is pretty good. But I think the question is if you could get away with pretending to be in high school for a year to play competitive sports at that level again would you? It's tough because I think it'd be a blast to play again, but it'd be so weird pretending to be in high school at that age. Basically be Jonah Hill in 21 Jump Street. I'm sure a ton of people wouldn't I don't think I could tell with the being a high school student and living that lifestyle again part, so that is also another weird wrinkle to this story, but honestly as a competitor and someone who despite being subpar at best at shitty D-3 Rhode Island hs sports I gotta tip my cap to this guy for finding a way to live a lot of people's dream and get back in the game.