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Song of the Day: March 30th, 2023

3/30/2023

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Song: Use Me (1972)
Artist: Bill Withers
Album: Still Bill
Bill Withers passed away 3 years ago today. R.I.P. to a legend of the music game. Ya boi is still looking for someone to use me.
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The NFL Has Altered Its Jersey Number Rules Again

3/29/2023

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Colts Kicker Jim O'Brien (#80) nailing a 32-yard field goal to win Super Bowl V for the Baltimore Colts.
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I'm not much of a college football guy anymore for a multitude of reasons, but one part of the collegiate game I always liked was the looseness of the jersey number restrictions. You could see a 358-pound nose tackle rocking #2 or a punter who's #93. It's kind of funny looking and a quirk you'd only see in high school or college ball.
Former LSU Punter #38 Brad Wing.
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Recently, the NFL opened up the floodgates for who can wear what. While Tom Brady didn't like it, I'd say the move has been favorable overall. We've got defensive backs covering wide receivers with the same jersey number. Some secondaries are made up entirely of single digits. I like it. I understand why the rules exist for eligible vs. ineligible receivers, but as people realize life is more fluid and players get more versatile, the number restrictions seem silly. As long as QBs are 0-19 and we know who is and isn't a lineman (even though you can declare yourself eligible), I say go crazy.

Under the new rules, not only can all players except linemen rock #0, but now punters and kickers will look a lot different (maybe! who knows who'll change their number?)

Here’s the full proposal that owners approved, allowing any player to wear Number Zero except offensive and defensive linemen.

Also, punters and placekickers can now wear numbers 0-49 and 90-99. CC: @PatMcAfeeShow pic.twitter.com/7cqNoUBN1G

— Tom Pelissero (@TomPelissero) March 28, 2023
I'm sure some people who aren't emotionally intelligent will get their panties in a bunch over the new rule, but I fw it. It is fun, spices shit up, and gives players more options to express themselves in a way that doesn't hurt a fly or their frontal lobe. Plus, I feel like you're way more likely to sell a #42 or #95 punter jersey over #17. Idk why; I just do. It's more swaggy.
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Song of the Day: March 29th, 2023

3/29/2023

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Song: Out of My Head (1998)
Artist: Fastball
Album: All The Pain Money Can Buy
AppleTV+ stays crushing the music selection with its original programming. If any loyal DOL readers wanna talk Shrinking or Ted Lasso I'm only a DM away!!

The new #TedLasso is already fantastic from the jump for using Fastball's "Out of My Head" in the first scene

— Doz #HireDozo (@DozonLife) March 29, 2023
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Jaylen Brown Is the Eastern Conference Player of the Week!

3/27/2023

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Boston loves Jaylen Brown pic.twitter.com/YWEZScra2i

— Cameron Tabatabaie (@CTabatabaie) March 27, 2023
For the 3rd time in his career, Jaylen Brown is the Eastern Conference Player of the Week, and what a week for him to win this award. Last week, Jaylen made comments about the small percentage of "toxic Celtics fans" that scared the shit out of normal green-bleeders who love him and never want to see him or JT on another team.

I agree with a lot of what he said, but I hope it ends up just a blip on the radar. I love that Jays and the whole Celtics roster. I know it's a business, and pieces change, but most C's fans feel the same way and only want the best for our guys. I will be devastated if we lose Jaylen.

With no Tatum on the court yesterday, JB clinched the ECPW honors with a 41 & 13 early evening performance against the Spurs. Jaylen wasn't satisfied. You love to see it. ​

"Five turnovers. That's s***"

Jaylen Brown reacts to seeing his stats after his 41-point, 13-rebound performance

He's always looking to improve his game □ pic.twitter.com/VuFiUWM4eL

— Celtics on NBC Sports Boston (@NBCSCeltics) March 27, 2023
After a troubling start to March, the Celtics are 7-2 since dropping three straight to three potential playoff opponents. Over their last three games, the C's are 3-0 with an average margin of victory of nearly 31 points. With only seven games left in the regular season (I'm going to C's-Raptors on the 5th), seeing the Celts heating up is encouraging. I'd love to find a way back into the #1 seed, but the biggest priority going into this home stretch should be the health of this team. You don't want to make a habit of it, but last year, the C's won Game 7 of the ECF on the road (and went 3-1 in Miami in the series; I was at their only home win in Game 4). Home court would be sick, but winning a ring is all that matters, and we want our guys as close to full strength as possible for another Finals run. 

Congrats, Juice. I may be critical at times, but it means nothing about you as a person. Most fans feel that way. We get frustrated and mad like idiots watching strangers play a game, but you guys aren't really strangers to us. You've been a Celtic since 2016. Whether we're calling you a shooting guard or small forward, you are one of the 15 best players in the NBA and hopefully a Celtic for a long ass time.
P.S.

​
**several green heart emojis**

He has been playing at this level all season. ☘️☘️ https://t.co/r0tMylhkEu

— Al Horford (@Al_Horford) March 27, 2023
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At least 6 Are Dead in a Shooting at a Nashville Private School. Thankfully, Drag is Illegal In Tennessee!

3/27/2023

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the same Republicans who want to ban TikTok because it's bad for kids refuse to do anything about the guns that are killing them

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) March 27, 2023

Another mass shooting at a school in America, this time in Nashville.

Are House Republicans going to do something? Yes, @GopJudiciary is holding a Committee markup tomorrow to make it easier to convert pistols to short-barrel rifles through the use of a pistol brace. Outrageous. https://t.co/tLQ9E7bJqg

— Ted Lieu (@tedlieu) March 27, 2023
This is going to surprise you, but there was yet another mass shooting in a school in the greatest country on earth. This one happened at a private Christian school in Nashville, but don't worry; there are plenty of empty prayers to go around!

Chuck & I are heartbroken to hear about the shooting at Covenant School in Nashville.

My office is in contact with federal, state, & local officials, & we stand ready to assist.

Thank you to the first responders working on site. Please join us in prayer for those affected.

— Sen. Marsha Blackburn (@MarshaBlackburn) March 27, 2023

My prayers are with the beautiful children whose lives have been lost, their families & the first responders who are dealing with this tragedy in Nashville!

— Lauren Boebert (@laurenboebert) March 27, 2023
They're all crazy, but MTG is a full-fledged loony. If you expand that tweet, it turns into an incoherent rant.

My prayers are with the victims and families at the Covenant School in Nashville. Another absolutely horrific needless tragedy.

Children and school staff should always be protected the same way politicians, money, precious stones, and gold are protected, but even more so, by…

— Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene□□ (@RepMTG) March 27, 2023
I am a low-key God guy, but I can't stand the Chrisofascist right in this country. Their interpretation of Christianity is disgusting, and I'm not gonna go any deeper than that as much as I'd like. There's no hate like Christian love. It's not all of them, but the ones who think Jesus was a white, gun-loving, capitalist are dangerous and irrational. It's okay to pray for victims, but when you are a literal lawmaker in this country who takes glamour shots with AR-15s and/or millions from the NRA, disrespectfully, fuck all the way off. Blood is on your hands.

There have been countless mass shootings in the United States over the life of DOL. I've written about some, but it's easy to miss one with how frequently they occur in this oh-so-free country. ​​

Monday morning's school shooting in Nashville was the 129th mass shooting in the U.S. so far in 2023, according to the Gun Violence Archive.

From 2018 to 2020, the country didn't reach 100 mass shootings until May.

We do not have to live like this. Inaction is a policy choice.

— Robert Reich (@RBReich) March 27, 2023
Only in America can a person have a résumé like this!

. This is @CampBeasleywood. She & her son survived the Highland Park shooting over the summer. She was just in DC lobbing for gun reform, now on vacation visiting her sister in Nashville, where 3 children & 3 adults were killed in another mass shooting. https://t.co/yQCTtHepqu

— Sam Owens (@SamOwensphoto) March 27, 2023
This mass shooting hits a little closer to home for me since I taught in Nashville for about 45 minutes in the late summer/early fall of 2017. In my final days after I gave my 2-week notice (hashtag good guy), I remember covering the mass shooting in Las Vegas that killed 60 and injured nearly 900 people in class. 

The indifference and acceptance of these senseless tragedies are disgusting and unacceptable.​ Some people will blame doors, mental health, the weather, what the shooter had for lunch three weeks ago, fucking anything other than the fact that someone had literal weapons of war. Luckily, the shooter was a woman. It's great to finally see some female representation in our school shootings. That's the progress we need in America!

For stupid people, that was sarcastic.


UPDATE: Apparently the shooter was a trans woman. Now that puts gun loving republicans in a real pickle, doesn't it? Fuck anybody who commits a mass shooting.

It blows my fucking mind that there are MILLIONS of brainwashed people in this country who see nothing wrong with this photo. God forbid a drag queen read a story! GROOMER!!! ​

This is the Republican congressman who represents the Nashville elementary school that was just shot up. pic.twitter.com/CQH4ce2J4K

— No Lie with Brian Tyler Cohen (@NoLieWithBTC) March 27, 2023
In Tennessee, it's illegal for a drag queen to be in public for "the safety of children," but it is also apermitless carry state. How fucking backward can you be? Talk about terrible priorities. It's so frustrating. I'm terrified of what's to come if these nuts get the power they're so desperately lusting for on a national level.

But don't get shit twisted. I am not totally anti-gun. TBH, I kind of want one to protect myself for the upcoming Civil War, but the inactivity as countless innocent people die is so fucking immoral and disgusting it makes my blood boil. We actually have the capabilities to make this country "great" but because of greed and hate, I don't see it happening any time soon (but I'll never stop believing it's possible).

If I hear another asshole say, "shooters/criminals don't follow the laws, so why make them?" I'm gonna explode. Why have any fucking laws, then? Murder laws don't stop all murders. Rape laws don't stop all rapes. I mean, what are we even fucking doing here? Do you realize how stupid you sound?

It doesn't matter if it's a public, private, or charter school; everybody is vulnerable to these cowardly acts when there are little to no barriers for someone to obtain a tool designed to inflict as much carnage as possible. I'm not even saying there should be a full-fledged assault weapon ban, but something has to be done. All guns should be nationally registered and have liability insurance like cars so they can't be sold illegally. Make the original owner legally liable for any damage done using their property and watch how quickly things change. Safety courses and permits should be mandatory. That's bare minimum stuff. Look at how many car accidents there are with our current laws. Imagine how much worse it would be if there were no regulations for who can drive. Gun laws might not stop every mass shooting, but they make them a lot fucking harder to happen. I can't believe I'm saying this because I do think it's possible to live in a world with NO mass shootings, but if we could even get the numbers down by a messily 10%, why wouldn't we fucking try? 

Another horrific shooting at a school. Another unspeakable tragedy. It's an utter disgrace that children in America today are going to school afraid of being shot and killed. We can't allow this epidemic of gun violence to continue. How many more have to die before Congress acts?

— Bernie Sanders (@SenSanders) March 27, 2023
P.S.

As the right tries to destroy public education in this country so they can set up private indoctrination centers, remember that those schools aren't safe either. Protecting public education should be one of this nation's biggest priorities. We should want informed masses, but that would mean people can think critically, and it's abundantly clear the right hates critical thinking.
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Song of the Day: March 27th, 2023

3/27/2023

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Song: Modern Love (1983)
Artist: David Bowie
Album: Let's Dance
Shrinking used this song exquisitely in the Season 1 finale #nospoilers. Fantastic job by whoever's decision it is to pick the music. That has to be a job, right? Or does that just fall as another duty for someone? I don't know. I'd love to be a professional movie/show music picker if blogging never catches on (which I'll admit I'm starting to get some doubts about...lol jk I'm fucking nasty, but I am worried because there are not enough eyeballs gracing DOL...not to say that I'm not appreciative of you; I am...it's just 7 years is a long time to grind in the minors)
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2023 All "How Are They Still Alive?" 1st, 2nd & 3rd Teams

3/22/2023

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Death is part of life. Some fear it. Others decide they're ready for it and take things into their own hands. Regardless of your takes about what happens once we croak, it is, unfortunately, something we will all do at least once in our lifetimes. FTR: I hope we get reincarnated as other people as soon as we die and keep experiencing different lives until the end of time. "Heaven" would be cool too, but if I got to pick anything, I think that's my choice.

Personally, I am terrified at the prospect of no longer existing in human form. All I want to do during my life is make a positive difference and try to leave this place better than when I found it. Yes, it gets super frustrating when you feel people don't fw you, like you're wasting your life away, not achieving your goals, and spending far too much time alone, but I'm getting off track on what's supposed to be a fun and happy blog!!

I can't speak for all my readers, but I would like to live as long as possible. That's why I've started giving a fuck about my well-being again. I'm down a little over 50 pounds from my fattest, but when you've gained and lost as much weight as I have over the years, it's still not nearly enough, but it's a start, and I am proud of my progress. I hope this is the one that sticks, and since I'm doing it gimmick-free this time, I'm confident it will be.

Despite the terrifying things that make the human experience, not super chill, overall, I love this thing we call life. It's why this website exists. Doz on LIFE, hello? I think one of the primary reasons I get so down is because I feel like I'm squandering my life away (and there's a legitimate fascist threat in this country that way too many people don't seem to care about). Wow, I didn't know how this intro was gonna go, and while I'm low-key digging this truthful vent session, the real reason I'm writing this blog is to pay homage to some old fucks that somehow haven't died yet. Sure, some look dead af, but these people are still very much legally alive.

Had I written this blog a few weeks ago, Bud Grant would undoubtedly have a spot on the squad, but the Hall of Fame NFL coach passed away 11 days ago at the ripe ol' age of 95. It's good that I didn't cause I'd feel a little guilty, but since we're all gonna die someday and it's something I spend a solid 3ish hours a day thinking about, let's show some appreciation to 15 men (women's list may come at a later date) whose hearts are somehow beating. Since it's March Madness, and the NBA will come out with their All-NBA teams in a few weeks, we're following that format (although this list is positionless). This is like the All-American team for old men. The list will consist of three groups (1st team, 2nd team and 3rd team) of five miraculously still-alive men. If you disagree with any of the selections, feel free to comment or start your own blog! With my luck, one of these dudes will die while I finish creating this masterpiece. Also, since Jimmy Carter is in hospice care, he doesn't get a spot on the list, but s/o Jimmy for holding on this long.
Third Team All-"How Are They Still Alive?"
Andy Dick
Born: December 21st, 1965 (57 years old)

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At only 57, Andy Dick is by far the youngest person on this list, but between pretty much everything he's stuck in his mouth, veins, and ass AND all the people he's pissed off over the years, it's remarkable he's not dead in a ditch somewhere. Andy is not exactly a hashtag good guy either, so nbd leading off with him.
Jerry Kramer
Born: January 23rd, 1936 (87 years old)
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As a football historian and former offensive lineman, I love Jerry Kramer. I'm so happy he lived long enough to attend his long overdue Hall of Fame induction in 2018. That being said, this man played for the Lombardi Packers and was the pulling guard for the famous power sweep. He played in the NFL from 1958-1968. Helmets were basically still leather. Kramer entered a league with quotas for black players per team and retired in 1968 when Marlin Briscoe was the first black starting QB in the AFL. Jerry Kramer played in the Ice Bowl and still can't feel his toes over 50 years later. He was born the same year Congress approved the 40-hour work week and may live to see the four-day week become the new standard. Fingers crossed! 
Eddie Vedder
Born: December 23rd, 1964 (58 years old)
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I don't want to see Eddie go anywhere anytime soon, but his inclusion is more about him being the last man standing of all the great 90s rock frontmen. Kurt Cobain, Layne Staley, Scott Weiland, and Chris Cornell range from pretty dead to wicked dead. Meanwhile, Eddie is in great shape and shows no signs of slowing down. He's the Marcus Luttrell of grunge and stiilll alllliiiiivvvvveeeeee. If I end up mushing Eddie Vedder, I might have to retire from blogging/life. As you'll see in the next third-team member, I bounced around creating this list. Eddie is actually the last person to make it, and since I love 90s rock and listen to it daily, I want to give him some credit for not dying yet like his fellow late nineteen-hundreds counterparts.
Mel Brooks
Born: June 28th, 1926 (96 years old)

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Hand up; I fucked up here. I've been bouncing around. I finished the first and second teams before wrapping up the last couple 3rd team designations. At 96 years old, Mel Brooks could easily be a first-teamer, but since he's a comedic genius, perhaps that's why he's outlasted Hitler by almost 78 years. In textbook Dozo fashion, I have yet to see History of the World, Part I but did watch Part 2 on Hulu whenever it came out in the last threeish weeks; it was solid. Not the best thing I've ever seen, but I laughed and appreciated what they were trying to do.
Every Rock Star Who Was Famous Before 1973
Born: various
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Whether it's Mick, Keith, Ozzie, Ringo, Paul McCartney, Steven Tyler, Willie Nelson, Bob Dylan, Elton John, Rod Stewart, Simon & Garfunkel or someone I forgot, between the miles on the road, drugs, alcohol, unprotected sex, fights, and disease, etc. it's impossible to separate these people. All are legends in their own right. They all deserve a hat tip for having hearts that still beat like bass drums and faces that look like ball sacks.
Second Team All-"How Are They Still Alive?"
Bob Cousy
Born: August 9th, 1928 (age 94)
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My 60-year-old mother was -6 when The Houdini of the Hardwood won the 1957 NBA MVP. Cousy retired from the NBA before the Civil Rights Act of 1964 (although he did make a brief comeback for seven games in the 1969-70 season). JFK was still alive to congratulate him on an outstanding career. While Cooze's conditioning as a pro athlete can explain his longevity, I'm sure it wasn't easy to deal with World War II in your teenage years. What do Bob Cousy and bubblegum have in common? Both were introduced to the world in 1928.
Willie Mays
Born: May 6th, 1931 (91 years old)

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This Instagram post made people worried that the Say Hey Kid was "oh he's dead," but at 91, while nearly totally blind and unable to drive since 2005, the man who once patrolled centerfield at the Polo Grounds is still alive. HBO recently released a documentary commemorating his life, which based on what happened to Nick Buoniconti, means Willie's on barrowed time. Willie Mays was 24 years old and already a World Series champion when Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat on December 1st, 1955. Willie Mays couldn't have possibly eaten a cheeseburger until he was at least four because they hadn't been invented yet.
Dick Vitale
​Born: June 9th, 1939 (83 years old)
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83 isn't super old by today's standards, but Dicky V is a hard 83. ​Think about all the traveling from campus to campus to cover college basketball for over 40 years. I'm sure being around all those college kids can help you feel young, but Dicky V could seemingly read, walk, and wipe himself before World War II ended. Dicky's been saying "that's awesome, baby!" since well before the word "awesome" was created. He was nearly 50 when college basketball introduced the three point line across all D-1 schools in 1987.
Bob Newhart
Born: September 5th, 1929 (93 years old)
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Dude played Papa Elf TWENTY years ago. Bob Newhart was born less than two months before Black Tuesday. He was 30 before the 1960s started. He was 40 years old when a man walked on the moon. The guy won a Best New Artist Grammy as a comedian (which hasn't happened since). This man is a skeleton with two and a half layers of skin. While it's beautiful that he's still married to his wife of 60 years, he's clearly ready to go at a moment's notice. That picture is three years old.
Clint Eastwood
Born: May 31st, 1930 (92 years old)
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Clint and the Bobs of the Cousy and Newhart variety are worthy of First-Team bids. It's not that they didn't do enough; it's just that the competition did more. I know he's a legend, but I've never really consumed his content. He's not really my swag---seems way too grouchy! Clint was 5 when Nylon was invented. He was older at Pearl Harbor than I was at 9/11.
First Team All-"How Are They Still Alive?"
Lou Carnesecca
Born: January 5th, 1925 (97 years old)
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Lou Carnesecca is first-team “how is he still alive?” !!!! pic.twitter.com/tWFtzX3Dn8

— Doz #HireDozo (@DozonLife) March 22, 2023
The first time I ever saw Lou Carnesecca was in the Requiem for the Big East documentary about 10 years ago. He looked like a corpse, then. Lou was 16 years old when Pearl Harbor was bombed. He was alive for over 20 World Series where black people weren't allowed in the Major Leagues. By all accounts, he seems to be a good man, but I bet even he is like "when the fuck is this shit gonna end?" The poor man hasn't had lips since Reagan was in the White House.
Tony Bennett
Born: August 3rd, 1926 (96 years old)

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Not to be confused with the UVA basketball coach (for now), this Tony Bennett's been singing well before FM radio existed (1933). Obviously, he was drafted to fight in World War II. Tony B was 37 was the cassette tape was invented and they've been irrelevant for a solid 25 years. The Lady Gaga collaborator was nearly 50 when she hatched. When he released his first album in September 1952, the Chevy Corvette prototype was still three months away from its debut. He may have left his heart in San Fransisco, but amazingly his body remains on earth as 6:11 pm on March 22nd, 2023.
Dick Van Dyke
Born: Decemeber 13th, 1925 (97 years old)

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I swear on my life he was on my potential list before this news broke.

On the day I planned to give him a first-team “how is he still alive?” selection??? https://t.co/p8G5oT3Ifm

— Doz #HireDozo (@DozonLife) March 22, 2023
DVD was nearly 70s when DVDs were invented. Clearly, he shouldn't be behind the wheel, nor should anybody his age. That isn't ageism; that's public safety. Everybody over 75 should have to retake their driver's test every three years. That isn't a joke; it's just a good idea. I did love Mary Poppins when I was a kid, though. Get well soon, DVD.

P.S.

DVD played a doctor who was too old to be a doctor in an episode of Scrubs that aired in 2003.
Marv Levy
​Born: August 3rd, 1925 (97 years old)
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As of 7:12 pm, Marv Levy is still right here, right now, alive on planet earth. There must be something about losing four Super Bowls that helps you live forever. Bud Grant was 95 when he died earlier this month, and Marv Levy's 97 years young. Tough news for Dan Reeves, he was only 77 when he passed away. Maybe you have to lose all four with the same team to see 90? As for Marv Levy, the former Buffalo Bills coach was 20 years old when Cheerioats became Cheerios. Like many men on this list, he served in WWII (thank you). It's sad to see him still alive for the fascism reboot!

Levy coached in the CFL before starting his NFL head coaching career with the Chiefs in 1978, winning two Grey Cups. Also, the forward pass wasn't legal in Canadian Football until Marv was four years old! When I was four, Pizza Hut had recently released the Stuffed Crust Pizza.
Bob Barker
Born: December 12th, 1923 (99 years old)
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Bob Barker retired from the Price is Right in 2007, and over 15 years later, he's still making sure you help control the pet population by spaying and neutering your pets. While his resume is nowhere near diverse as Betty White's, I'd argue his belovedness is on the same level. Hopefully, for Bobby's sake, People Magazine doesn't jinx him seeing 100 too.

Like many people my age, I grew up watching Bob Barker host the Price is Right and watched him kick Adam Sandler's ass in Happy Gilmore. Bob was 72 then. If he had died during filming in 1995, while it'd be sad, nobody would've called him young in his obits.
That concludes the 2023 All "How Are They Still Alive?" Team. I hope you enjoyed and don't die for at least 70 years. Sound off in the comments with who you think should've made the list! Sorry I left you off Michael Caine.
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Song of the Day: March 22nd, 2023

3/22/2023

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Song: Borne (2022)
Artist: Goose
Album: Dripfield
I'm seeing these guys in Boston tomorrow night! Fingers crossed for no panic attacks!!!!
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I Cannot Believe Ed Cooley Spurned Providence College For Another Big East School!

3/21/2023

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I used to fucking love March Madness. In 2016, I went to first and second-round games in Providence. In 2018, I was in Vegas for one of my best friend's bachelor parties from the opening weekend. I watched URI beat Trae Young's Sooners in OT before getting killed by Duke in the round of 32 (and losing on my Rams every-which-way that game) in a Sportsbook when that was still a huge deal to me. It was an awesome time.

But I haven't filled out a bracket for the last two years. I didn't catch any of the opening rounds live last weekend. It's weird, I still like college basketball, but I just haven't been interested in the post-covid cancellation world. I'm sure some of it has to do with URI sucking ass. Part of it is me trying to be responsible and not gamble rn. I haven't watched much CBB all year, and I know I'd blindly bet on games, and I am not really in a spot rn where I should be that reckless. 

Excuse me for being a little roundabout in starting this blog. I just finished the Jimmy Savile Netflix doc, and it has me fucked up, but what I'm trying to say is that even though my interest and knowledge of college hoops have waned over the last few years, I'm still pretty shocked by this move. It's weird; I don't fuck with PC. I'm a Rhode Island Ram! That might not mean a whole lot, but I'm Rhode Island born and Rhode Island bred, and when I die, I'll be Rhode Island dead. This loss is sad for Rhode Island Island. Sad for Rhode Island Island. Sad for Rhode Island. Good! Bye! Ed!

I don't like PC, but I respect the program. I know they have a more storied history than URI. They're a bedrock of the old Big East. Dave Gavitt. Ernie D. Marvin Barnes. Ricky P. Billy Donovan. God Shammgod. Ryan Gomes. Similarly, in college sports, teams in the same conference may not like each other, but you root for your conference's best interest at the end of the day. Even though I don't like PC Basketball, as a Rhode Islander, I know their relevance is good for the state.

Sure, it's a private Catholic school, so I don't mean it in like that sense. URI is the every man, public institution of higher learning, but Rhode Island isn't one of the sexier or more recognized states. When I eventually become #HIREDdozo, I'll immediately jump into the conversation of most famous URI alums. Having one of the better programs of the last decade in Rhode Island brought plenty of joy, respect, money, etc., into the ocean state. This is a major loss. 

Now, because I'm not as up-to-date about the current state of college basketball, maybe I'm wrong, but this feels like a massive blow to the Providence College program. Ed Cooley WAS Providence's favorite son. He brought the Friars to their best run of sustained success, arguably ever.

It's unfortunate to hear that potential marriage problems lead to Cooley leaving for DC. There are rumors of him accepting the job months ago and starting to recruit for the Hoyas during the season. Based on how the once 11-3 and 17-5 PC Friars ended the season, that could explain their collapse. It's crazy they were an 11 seed, given where they were a few weeks earlier!

Ed Cooley was definitely recruiting for Georgetown. PC fell the fuck off after January. From 17-5 to 21-12. I’m a URI guy so no tears here but it’s bad for the state. I thought Cooley would be a PC lifer! pic.twitter.com/sytSwGbc9S

— Doz #HireDozo (@DozonLife) March 21, 2023
Since Ed Cooley is a Providence native and such a figure in the state, it felt like this was his forever job. My future boss is right...big time scuzzy move. He betrayed the college and its fans. Being the first Big East coach to leave for another Big East school is definitely...something. Some have called it a Benedict Cooley situation.

This was from (checks notes) 4 months ago! No such thing as lifetime contract but kept signing lifetime contracts. In conference doesn't matter? Rivalries don't matter? Gtown tampered in season + Cooley lied to PC fans. But who cares? How can anybody be this dumb? Wow. https://t.co/JxvTOx3e9o pic.twitter.com/DYQ8cmXWHq

— Dave Portnoy (@stoolpresidente) March 21, 2023

Let me clarify it for you moron:

1. Said Pc was dream job last weekend. Signed 2 lifetime contracts for more money

2. Put house on market in middle of season. knew he was leaving

3. Recruited for gtown while paid by pc

4. 1st big East coach to jump to conference rival ever https://t.co/W4gWoLrXdX

— Dave Portnoy (@stoolpresidente) March 21, 2023
People leave jobs. It's not that he left, but HOW he left. Hashtag shots fired by URI women's coach, Tammi Reiss??!??

Any interest in the PC job, Tammi Reiss?

Friar fans (men's & women's) may want to listen to this:

"The real ones that are locked in: You wait until you're done."

"I'll do the college game until I go to acting. Then I'm gonna Betty White, and I'm done." @ABC6 #URI #GoRhody pic.twitter.com/efKyx76LUx

— Ian Steele (@IanSteeleABC6) March 21, 2023
Understandably, the Friar Faithful are not thrilled!

PC students are feeling a range of emotions over Ed Cooley's exit to Georgetown — not just how it played out, but that he's off to lead a Big East rival.

"It's like an ex girlfriend. I can probably never talk to you again...maybe I'll send you a DM here and there" @wpri12 #pcbb pic.twitter.com/cSpkVt4xk1

— Amanda Pitts (@AmandaPittsTV) March 20, 2023
I never thought I'd see the day that Cooley left PC. I thought he'd coach there another 20-40 years. I have no clue who they'll will go after now (maybe Shammgod?) I just know I can sorta relate to how those fans are feeling right now. Tomorrow is the 5th anniversary of URI losing Danny Hurley. Sure, you could argue that everybody knew URI was a stepping-stone move for Hurley, and PC losing a Providence native to a conference rival is nothing like that, maybe a million times worse. I say, you're still losing someone who helped bring your program to great heights. Welcome to the cellar. 
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Dont'a Hightower Has Officially Retired

3/21/2023

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A force, a leader and a champion.

Thank you and congratulations on an incredible career, @zeus30hightower! pic.twitter.com/4wu6d3ljfB

— New England Patriots (@Patriots) March 21, 2023
Another 2010s Patriot legend is calling it a career. Linebacker Dont'a Hightower is hanging up his cleats this time after a storied stint in New England.

The 2012 first-rounder played for the Patriots from 2012-2019; 2021, making two Pro Bowls and winning three Super Bowls during his tenure, but his impact is felt far beyond the accolades.

I loved Dont'a Hightower's play. He was never the superstar he was at Alabama, but the man had a more than solid NFL career, highlighted by some of the biggest plays in Patriots and NFL history. The whole "you can't write the story of X without Y" trope is getting kind of tired, but Dont'a's play truly shaped NFL history. People forget how close the Tom Brady Patriots were to losing three straight Super Bowl appearances after starting 3-0. Who knows how that would've affected the team and league from 2015-forward? Do the Patriots still end up winning another two Super Bowls? How much would Brady's legacy have altered without the Patriots keeping Seattle out of the end zone? It's a team game, but Dont'a Hightower made some of the biggest plays of the dynasty's second leg.

Malcolm Butler's Super Bowl XLIX interception is arguably the play of the decade. While most Patriots fans know what I'm about to type, most people likely forgot about Hightower's tackle the play before. It looked like Marshawn Lynch was about to stroll into the end zone for the potential game-winning touchdown. That was until Dont'a bench pressed Russell Okung and brought down Beast Mode short of the goal line.

It’s a team sport until it isn’t. Players make plays. And Dont’a Hightower made a whole heap of winning plays pic.twitter.com/iWCkGHoSDT

— Honk The Bobo (@ColeyMick) March 21, 2023
Then in Super Bowl LI, Hightower made 1b of the game's two signature plays. His strip sack is what really made people be like, "holy shit, this is a fucking game now," or something along those lines if you've got a better vocabulary. The Patriots do not complete the 28-3 comeback without this sack.

A 25-point comeback is incredibly improbable, but Dont’a Hightower is responsible for a forced fumble that started to make it seem like the Patriots had a chance to pull it off.

Heckuva 10-year career for Hightower as a 3X champion. pic.twitter.com/DZD1PBEWqP

— Field Yates (@FieldYates) March 21, 2023
The Patriots double dynasty will end up with a handful of Hall of Famers. Brady and Gronk are locks. Logan Mankins and Vince Wilfork will get in eventually. While Hightower isn't a Pro Football Hall of Fame caliber player, he is a Patriots Hall of Fame candidate down the road. Dont'a embodied what it meant to be a Patriot during this era. His stats might've not been eye-popping, but his impact was felt well beyond the box score. Players like Hightower kept the legacy of the 2000s Pats alive. He's a winner and team leader. When you think of big game players for the 2010s Pats, there aren't many names you'd say before his.

​Initially, I thought it was kind of fucked up he wore #54 (even though Brian Waters wore it the year before) since it should've been retired/held out of the rotation for Tedy Bruschi, but the Pats don't really do that and Dont'a ended up being the perfect guy to rock 54 and keep the Bruschi spirit going during the dynasty's second leg.

When the @Patriots needed a big play on the biggest stage, Dont'a Hightower stepped up.

Congrats on a remarkable career, @zeus30hightower. â–¡ pic.twitter.com/47P3W5J4YD

— NFL (@NFL) March 21, 2023
Most don't play the game for the accolades; they play to win and for the love of it. Dont'a Hightower was the perfect Patriot. Would you rather have 5 All-Pros and no rings or three rings and no All-Pros? I know what I'd pick, and there's no hesitation. Dont'a did make 2nd-team All-Pro in 2016, but the point is...most play for rings, and Dont'a was a significant piece of THREE Super Bowl championship teams. AND he was hurt in 2017, which only shows his value when you consider how gross the Pats D played in Super Bowl LII.

Do I wish Dont'a Patriots career could've ended in a better fashion? Sure, but while he was here, he made up one of the most solid linebacking cores in the NFL. He was a big game player who made big-time plays when it mattered most. The game is forever changing and the Dont'a Hightower-type linebacker is sort of going away, but this man was one of the best LBs in the NFL for some time. Congratulations on an outstanding career, Zeus. You are a Patriots legend. I'm sure you'll end up with a red jacket sometime in the next 3-19 years (there's a huge backlog of dudes worthy of induction). 
P.S.

I've never watched it, but Dont'a was even referenced in one of the most popular shows of the 2010s, Orange is the New Black.
View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Dont'a Hightower (@_boomtower)

Double P.S.

News like this reminds me how fucking long I'm been grinding in the blog game. I started DOL in February 2016 and wrote the Patriots resigning Dont'a SEVEN years ago *puke emoji*.
Triple P.S.

I haven't read it yet, but I'm gonna as soon as I publish this blog...Dont'a announced his retirement in a Player's Tribune article. I can't wait to see what he has to say about his incredible career.
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