David Ortiz is a First Ballot Hall of Famer and the ONLY Elected Hall of Famer in the Class of 20221/25/2022 
The 2022 Baseball Hall of Fame class will consist of one man: David Ortiz.
Well, technically, he'll join Golden Days Era Committee inductees Gil Hodges, Jim Kaat, Minnie Miñoso, and Tony Oliva and Early Baseball Era Committee inductees Bud Fowler and Buck O'Neil. With 77.9% of the vote, Ortiz was the only player who received the necessary 75% threshold and became just the 58th first-ballot Hall of Famer in the process.
It's hard to grasp that he's already eligible, forget elected. Even though the last two years have felt like 20, 2016 was one of the best years of my life and doesn't feel that long ago. It's crazy someone I blogged about my rookie year is going to the Hall.
Following Big Papi's final season (and Mookie's breakout) made that one of my favorite Red Sox teams. I was lucky enough to attend his last regular-season game with my mom (which ended up being a real stinker).
Despite my current rocky relationship with the Sox, nothing can take away the moments and memories. No amount of disdain for John Henry can destroy my love and admiration for David Ortiz.
There will be plenty of time to gush over Papi's accolades in the upcoming months (especially if there's no season!), but I think I did a decent job reflecting upon. them in 2016 (minus some pre-grammarly era typos).
I really do hate to take awake from such fantastic news, but I can't help but dwell on how ridiculous it is that David Ortiz is going into Cooperstone alone. Even Papi agrees it's insane that two of the greatest players in baseball history are getting iced out by a bunch of self-righteous sportswriters.
Much like the Grammys, I've realized how big of joke establishments I used to revere are with age. I love David Ortiz and think his career was worthy of first-ballot recognition. He's the greatest DH in MLB history and the most important player in Red Sox history. Buuuut, let's address the elephant in the room. My dude tested positive for roids in 2003 and didn't play the field in 84.2% of his major league games. I don't think either of those facts should be held against him, but how is Papi gonna make it on the first ballot when Curt Schilling, Roger Clemens, and Barry Lamar Bonds can't get in after a decade?
Despite that Dozie Downer-ness, I am ecstatic for Big Papi. Incredibly, he's still with us; let's not forget what happened in 2019. Those were scary times, but David's recovered and is crushing it as a tv personality. The most clutch hitter of all time is going to Cooperstown, and that's a fantastic thing, but he should be joining a seven-time MVP, seven-time Cy Young winner, and a pitcher he won two rings with (Curt's not a juice guy, just a dick. He should be in). The Baseball Hall of Fame is a museum to honor the great game, and excluding all-timers who did steroids because they were abrasive while including a DH who appeared on that 2003 list is shameful. Congrats Papi! I'm sorry the BBWAA had to upstage your 2nd most outstanding career achievement after 2004.
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Two losses last week dropped my 2022 #DozVsTheDozen record below .500 at 3-4. I still gotta rewatch both episodes before I post them on Youtube, and ya know what? That's gonna be my pre-match move (if I don't fall involuntarily PFTO).
Analyzing the tape to learn from my mistakes and get back to the fundamentals might be just what the Twitter doctor ordered for the Doz man. If 2022 is gonna be the year of #HireDozo, then I gotta get back above .500, but you can't get above .500 without reaching .500 (in some situations), and that's precisely what's in store tonight (hopefully).
Tonight's match (173) won't be easy as we've got defending champion (4) Honkers against a Final 4 team that sees themselves on the bubble (16) Gen XYZ.
XYZ has to be one of the biggest disappointments in the league this season. I don't have the advanced sabermetrics in front of me, but I don't need them to know Large has been out to lunch. Regardless, XYZ is still a dangerous squad (and the champs are the champs). As soon as you overlook your opponent, that's when they attack, and despite an abysmal 1-5 record, I still respect what this multi-generation squad brings to the table.
I don't set lines anymore, but Honkers -3.5 seems more than fair given the current state of XYZ, although I'd take the points if these odds were live (Vibbs +180 highest scorer is great value). XYZ is the hungry dog on the bubble that needs this W more; I just hope the niches don't bury me tonight.
If you don't know the deal by now, #DozVsTheDozen airs LIVE on my Instagram (@dozonlife) at 7:05 PM; that's www.instagram.com/dozonlife. I can't wait to see you in the comment section!
Song: All Downhill From Here (2004)
Artist: New Found Glory Album: Catalyst
Happy "Anniversary" Rob Manfred!
In my Divisional Round preview blog, I made fun of everybody that beats the "divisional weekend is the best football weekend of the season" drum to a pulp because it's such a cliche, but this truly was one of the best football weekends of all time. All four games came down to the wire, three underdogs won on the road, and of course, there were plenty of controversial decisions that we can all second guess for the rest of time!
I don't even need to get into the ref show in Tampa; I'm here to talk about what every publication on earth has touched on in the last 24ish hours: NFL overtime. This one's different because I swear and have the vocabulary of an 8th grader. ICYMI: Bills @ Chiefs was an instant classic. The Chiefs won 42-36 in overtime. I didn't think I'd ever see a crazier final 2:00 than Saints-49ers in the 2011 Divisional Round, but I think it's safe to say this game topped it. As someone with two live bets on Bills ML, I'm pretty sure I had multiple heart attacks. 
I guess the Bills decided that Wide Right, three additional consecutive Super Bowl losses, and starting Johnson over Flutie in the Music City Miracle weren't enough for their storied history of playoff heartbreak. They just had to let Patrick Mahomes get into field goal range with only 13 seconds left on the clock.
I thought kicking deep and not shaving a few seconds off the clock with a squib was a big mistake, HUGE. So fucking dumb by Buffalo. I've played enough Madden to know that it's not impossible to get into field goal range with 13 seconds and three timeouts.
Would you rather give your opponent the ball on the 25 with 13 seconds left or like the 31 with 9 seconds where they realistically have one shot at getting in field goal range?
After prairie doggin' throughout all the lead changes, I missed the coin toss but knew whoever won it would win the game based on how gassed the defenses were and how in sync both QBs were.
Even though my Patriots won Super Bowl LI and the 2018 AFC Championship Game partly by the current OT rules, I'm not a fan of them. I can admit they're unfair, and there's a better solution, somewhere. The Chiefs tried to change the rules after that AFCCG, but their attempts failed at the league meetings. Some hardos will say shit like "if you can't make a stop, you don't deserve to win," but it's not that simple. In today's NFL, nearly every rule and penalty favors the offense. All defensive penalties except for offsides and dead-ball late hits after the ball hits the ground result in an automatic first down. If the NFL's current OT rules applied in baseball and the away team scored first in extra innings, the home team wouldn't get a chance to bat because they should've just gotten the opposing hitters out if they wanted to win! Congratulations to the 1986 World Series Champion Boston Red Sox!! I'm more than willing to concede regular-season OT. I think 10 minutes is way too short and leads to more ties, but those aren't games that are making or breaking legacies. I can deal with those rules in that spot. But careers are made in the postseason; that's why Eli Manning will make the HOF despite a .500 record and no seasons where he was even close to a top 5 QB. With how much the game is centered around scoring points, both offenses should get a chance to possess the ball. I've seen heads on Twitter saying that people are only complaining because the Chiefs won, but again, I've benefitted from this rule, and even I think it's fucked. Plus, it's not like I love the Bills. I wish both teams lost, but I don't know how you can watch that game and be satisfied with only one QB touching the ball in OT? People are only talking about it now because it's timely the day after the game. At least when offenses/defenses get back-to-back possession to end the 1st half and start the 2nd half, they get the halftime break. In situations like last night, the Bills gave up the game-tying field goal, then are right back on the field. It's just not a fair system, straight up and down. It's so funny to me how there are a million tie-breaking (11) procedures for playoff berths before a coin toss, but once the playoffs start, if a winner isn't determined in regulation, a coin toss is the perfect way to decide history.
Those numbers are staggering. Teams that win the OT coin toss are 10-1 in the playoffs, and 7 of those 10 winners scored a touchdown on their opening drive. Of course, the Saints were the only ones on the wrong side of the coin toss.
I've had an idea for years that would be a perfect solution to this unfair rule, but unfortunately, nobody listens to me (yet).
Here is how my proposed adjustment to Playoff Overtime would work:
What you do i̶f̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶s̶o̶n̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶a̶t̶ ̶h̶o̶m̶e̶,̶ ̶c̶r̶y̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶a̶l̶l̶ ̶a̶l̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶b̶e̶d̶r̶o̶o̶m̶ ̶f̶l̶o̶o̶r̶,̶ ̶c̶a̶u̶s̶e̶ ̶h̶e̶'̶s̶ ̶h̶u̶n̶g̶r̶y̶,̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶o̶n̶l̶y̶ ̶w̶a̶y̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶f̶e̶e̶d̶ ̶h̶i̶m̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶s̶l̶e̶e̶p̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶a̶ ̶m̶a̶n̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶a̶ ̶l̶i̶t̶t̶l̶e̶ ̶b̶i̶t̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶m̶o̶n̶e̶y̶ to fix the current state of overtime in the National Football League playoffs? You got a better plan? Sound off in the comments!
Spoiler Alert: I'm the man behind the ultra-popular (2012-2014) Twitter account @URIprobs. During its peak, I had essentially 6,000 followers and was the semi-anonymous voice of all that was wrong with the University of Rhode Island, from parking to pike to the lack of an on-campus bar on account of being a moist campus.
There's a lot to love about the University of Rhode Island, and I'm sure if I didn't grow up 12 minutes down the road, I would've better appreciated my time there, but I just wanted more out of my school. One of the biggest embarrassments during my five years as a student were the athletic programs. URI Football went 0-12 my junior year and 1-11 my redshirt senior year. URI is so poor/cheap that they field the bare minimum of men's teams to keep D1 status. No hockey, wrestling, lacrosse, etc. Because of this, there was next to no school spirit or buzz on campus like I imagined at "real" schools. The one URI team I sort of care about is men's basketball. The Hurley era was frustrating, but at least we went to the big dance twice, winning a game each time. Unfortunately, since he's left, it's back to the same old mediocre URI (although they had a chance to make the dance in 2020 before it was cancelled). One of the major problems with URI basketball (apart from their inability to run an offense since Jimmy Baron) is their lack of identity from a uniform standpoint. Outside of Rhode Island, unless you're a die-hard A-10 fan, you're probably not going to recognize them. I know teams in college switch up their look much more frequently than the pros, but URI hasn't been able to find its signature look. They're constantly tinkering with everything. Here are some examples of URI's less than stellar threads over the years. 
THE WORST
Today, URI announced new uniforms they're wearing tomorrow vs. Richmond, and I've seen better practice jerseys at underfunded middle schools!
Oh cool, groutfits! I'm sure that was the cheaper option. That probably would explain all the holes; anything to cut costs, amirite? If you wore that jersey outside you'd have a chicken pox tan line. AAU teams have higher quality digs.
It's not 1983. There's sweat-wicking technology readily available, you don't have to resort to tear-away unis like Earl Campbell. And don't even get me started on that font. What is with that font? Since when are backwards 7s the same as T's? The "O" in Ocean State is smaller than everything else. At least that's just the promo and not the actual jerseys. 
The name and numbers are screen printed. How did someone sign off on these? They look so cheap. It's like these are the Bob's Store version of a better uniform. I honestly don't even hate the concept. I think it's cool to incorporate the Ocean State moniker like how Long Beach St. has "The Beach," but the execution was botched worse than Sponge Holton's career. These fugly uniforms are a #URIprob.
Song: Break The Man (2022) Artist: Tears For Fears Album: The Tipping Point If a stranger were to approach me on the street (as one does) and ask if I'm a Tears For Fears fan, I would say that I am when, in reality, I only know/love their three massive hits from the mid-80s: "Shout," "Everybody Wants to Rule the World," and "Head Over Heels." Sure, I know that they're the original artists behind "Mad World" too, but Gary Jules sorta pulled a Johnny Cash "Hurt" situation and made that his song. What I'm saying is without the aid of Wikipedia, I'm not sure I could name a 5th TFF track. I know next to nothing about their history. A week or two ago, Tears For Fears came up on Apple Music's New Music Mix (updated every Friday), and I was SHOCKED to learn that they're making new music. I would've guessed they broke up in like 1993. There are plenty of artists still going strong after 40+ years, and since you're reading this blog, you have internet access and can confirm that on your own time, but from an anecdotal standpoint, it feels like most of those acts pre-date the 80s. I love 80s music, and bands like The 1975 do a great job of replicating that sound, but both guys behind Tears For Fears are 60 years old are keeping that synthy-new wave sound alive with their first album since 2004. Their latest album, The Tipping Point (I wonder if Malcolm Gladwell makes an appearance?), comes out on February 25th. This could very well be an empty promise, but "Break The Man" has me very excited to check it out. 
After nine straight years of Divisional Round play, believe it or not, this is the third consecutive season of a Patriot-less Divisional Round. I kept Ja'Marr Chasing Pats live ML until it was 20-0, which played a significant role in my -5.8U weekend, but from a winners standpoint, I went 4-2, and I always pick against the Chiefs as a bit, so it was really 4-1 and the 1 was my biased Patriots pick, so I basically went 4-0 picking winners. Congrats to me; let's take a deeper look at what many talking heads call the year's best weekend of football!
Past DOL Divisional Round Picks:
(4) Cincinnati Bengals @ (1) Tennessee Titans [-4/48]
Saturday 4:30 pm, CBS 
FTR, these picks are gonna be primarily narrative-based. I haven't been studying data as extensively as usual, but I've been saying that the Titans will lose their first playoff game for at least the last three weeks, and I'm not changing that take now.
Of course, the return of Tractorcito worries me. I'm a huge fan and not rooting for him to get hurt; I'm just saying, I don't know how much I can trust Derrick Henry on a fucked up foot (medical term) with a metal plate. However, the battle in the trenches does worry me. The Bengals allowed the most sacks in the NFL, and the Titans are the only team in the league with three players who had at least 8 sacks (Harold Landry 12; Denico Autry 9; Jeffrey Simmons 8.5). That's all well and good, but one thing you can't measure is swag, and Joe Burrow leads the league in it. There are two major reasons I think the Bengals will win. The first is my hashtag good guyness. One of my best friends is a Bengals fan, and I'm rooting for his happiness, but my main reason is being a narrative guy, and the Bengals story is one of the best of the entire season. They were expected to win like six games and ended up snapping a 31-year playoff win drought. These Bengals don't care about their pedestrian history; they're just balling, but I'll give you a little history. In 1981 the Bengals changed their uniforms and made the Super Bowl. In 2021 the Bengals changed their uniforms and ended a significant playoff drought. I don't believe in the Titans, and it's not midnight yet in Cincy. Plus, can you really count on Ryan Tannehill or Randy Bullock in the clutch? I know I trust Joe Brrr. The Cincinnati Bengals have never won a road playoff game (0-7) which makes me love them even more. My model says they're due. Bengals 27 Titans 23
(6) San Francisco 49ers @ (1) Green Bay Packers [-6/47.5]
Saturday 8:15 pm, FOX 
I hit Packers ML when these teams met in week 3, but a lot has changed since then. Can I tell you specifics regarding what? Not really, but I do think the winner of this game wins the NFC next week.
On one side, we've got Jimmy G playing for his future. Will the 49ers bring him back next year or move on to Trey Lance? On the other, Aaron Rodgers is playing for his legacy. Of course, he already has one Super Bowl ring, but one ring is simply not enough for a man of his caliber; if he retires with one Super Bowl that came back in his third year as a starter IMO that's a failure. Sure it's a team game, but 3-4 MVPs and only 1 ring screams failure. My pick for this game depends on what happens with the Bengals-Titans game. If I lose, I'm 1000% going to chase 49ers ML. This is a match-up where I'd be cool with either team; both rosters have guys I fw. Belichick fucked up soooo hard taking N'Keal over Deebo. Here's the data that matters: Aaron Rodgers was infamously spurned by his hometown 49ers in the 2005 NFL Draft, leading to the freefall that landed him in Green Bay. The 49ers are 3-0 vs. Aaron Rodgers in the postseason, and he's likely leaving Green Bay this offseason. We either have Rodgers getting past his hometown team that didn't take him (en route to probably another NFCCG loss), or they end his Packers career and sort of justify their wrong decision to take Alex Smith (but not really). The #1 seed Packers also have a shaky field goal unit like the Titans. I could totally see Mason Crossbar letting the Lambeau crowd down with a missed 38 yarder late. 49ers 31 Packers 28
(4) Los Angeles Rams @ (2) Tampa Bay Buccaneers [-3/48]
Sunday 3:00 pm, NBC 
These rosters are like Herbie or the best baked potatoes; full loaded. In another week three rematch, the Rams beat Tampa 34-24 the first time around, but Gronk got hurt in that contest. I'm gonna make this one quick because I should clean my room before these games start. Do you really think Matthew Stafford will beat Tom Brady in the playoffs? I think McVay is a better coach than Arians, but I already have a Bengals-Bucs ML parlay locked in. Trust tree: the Tristan Whirfs injury scares me against the Rams front, and I sort of forgot about that when I blinded followed that parlay from someone at PFF.
Buccaneers 34 Rams 24
(3) Buffalo Bills @ (2) Kansas City Chiefs [-2/54]
Sunday 6:30 pm, CBS 
I wish there were a way both of these teams could lose, but the Bills have been treating their WILD CARD win over the Patriots like a Super Bowl victory which makes me think they'll be a natural letdown against a team they demolished in week 5. Those early season Chiefs are dead and gone like the old Justin Timberlake. If only Jackson Mahomes were too*. I still may pepper the Bills to mush the Chiefs, but every time I pick against the Chiefs, they end up winning, so in a classic reverse much situation:
Chiefs 137 Bills 14 *that's joke a don't want Jackson Mahomes to die, I just want him to go away forever or at the very least stop lying to himself and the world and just come out already. It's 2022 bro, good people don't care. Song: Do It Again (1972) Artist: Steely Dan Album: Can't Buy a Thrill So far I'm down 5.8 units (doooozzzzzaaaahh) in the 2021 (respect the league year) playoffs, but we've got four fantastic matchups this weekend, and as we all know, scared money does not make any money! You go back, Jack, do it again ̶ ̶w̶h̶e̶e̶l̶ ̶t̶u̶r̶n̶i̶n̶'̶ ̶'̶r̶o̶u̶n̶d̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶'̶r̶o̶u̶n̶d̶, we'll turn it around! I just punched in Ja'Marr Chase OVER 5.5 receptions +105.
I'm gonna try to make this quick because I'm dead guy tired rn and want to try to get a lil napadoodle doo in before the big match, but if you missed #DozVsTheDozen 36 on Tuesday, don't worry, you didn't miss shit! I put up a nine-spot but dug myself too deep of a hole—credit to Team Minihane for a great match.
Maybe it was a trap game because I've been thinking about this match all week. After ducking multiple opponents, (1) Team Chicago (current crown holders) faces quite possibly their biggest trivia rivals (5) Experts in Battle for the Crown V.
IMO, it's kind of a joke that Chicago was even crown-battle eligible at 3-3, averaging under 10 PPG, but I'm not here to shit on my future co-workers and friends. It's just weird to see a (1) in front of a team that's 4-3, but should they beat the Experts tonight after sneaking by the Honkers (and tying me; the match was on Christmas Eve-eve, so I must've forgotten to post it to Youtube, but I'll upload it once I rewatch) for the Crown in Match 165, then I'll have no choice but to truly respect Chicago as Crown holders. For now, call me Shania Twain because their resume don't impress me much.
If these odds were available on an actual sportsbook, I'd empty my savings account and put in on Experts. I looooove that value.
I love The Dozen and would cut off both my baby toes with safety scissors for a chance to help out as a paid Barstool employee, but I just can't get too excited for the Crown when a mid-major currently holds it. Maybe that's just the tiredness talking because I am pumped for this match; I just don't need the gimmick, although I credit the folks behind The Dozen for trying to spice things up. I'm just terrified to be critical of BSS when I've put all my eggs in the #HireDozo basket!
Okay, I need to close my eyes for an hour. #DozVsTheDozen airs LIVE on my Instagram (@dozonlife) at 7:05 PM; that's www.instagram.com/dozonlife. I can't wait to see you in the comment section! Song: Chocolate Hills (2022) Artist: Khruangbin & Leon Bridges Album: Texas Moon I love the concept of visualizers. S/o whoever invented those to replace looking at an album cover until the real video comes out. You've forever changed the Youtube experience! |
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