Some days I stress myself into a panic trying to figure out what topic(s) I'm going to blog after wasting another day of my life not writing for Barstool Sports as a long-term substitute in one of the worst school districts in America. Today was not one of those days.
The Mr. Potato Head brand will soon be known as simply "Potato Head". Twitter:
Frankly, the timing of this story breaking less than a day after an elected congressperson with her pea-size brain and catcher's mask face spread bigotry and pseudoscience throughout the Capitol across the hall from the mother of trans kid is nothing short of predominant.
Now, there's no denying this whole story of the Potato Heads was confusing AF at first because the media coverage made it seem like like Hasbro was killing off Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head like it's 1840's Ireland for a gender neutral they/them Potato.
Admittedly, this annoyed me at first too; I was like there's no reason to get rid of them to create a non-binary potato, why can't they all coexist? Plus I knew it was ammunition for right to complain and deny humans equal rights as "woke overkill" by a fucking toy company.
A much better tweet.
But then after figuratively an ounce of research, the move actually makes a tot of sense. Before a Mrs. Potato Head was a "Mrs. Potato Head-Mr. Potato Head" doll. Super wordy and unnecessary like a lot of my paragraphs. Trim that fat! Now they're both just Potato Heads and have much more fun and vibrant packaging.
Hasbro then made it clear that Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head aren't going anywhere; the brand is just dropping the "Mr." to become simply "Potato Head".
via: Hasbro
Hasbro is officially renaming the MR. POTATO HEAD brand to POTATO HEAD to better reflect the full line. But rest assured, the iconic MR. and MRS. POTATO HEAD characters aren’t going anywhere and will remain MR. and MRS. POTATO HEAD. Launching this Fall, the CREATE YOUR POTATO HEAD FAMILY is a celebration of the many faces of families allowing kids to imagine and create their own Potato Head family with 2 large potato bodies, 1 small potato body, and 42 accessories. The possibilities to create your own families are endless with mixing and mashing all the parts and pieces. CREATE YOUR POTATO HEAD FAMILY is compatible with most standard Potato Head offerings and is a great addition to your Potato Head collection for kids ages 2 and up. Potato Head has provided endless creative possibilities to our preschoolers for almost 70 years and will continue to do so with the new CREATE YOUR POTATO HEAD FAMILY.
This really is a fucking genius move by Hasbro. I'm proud of this Rhode Island company!! Unless you've watched one of the four Toy Story's recently when was the last time you thought about a Mr. or Mrs. Potato Head doll?
I can't even remember the last time I saw one in real life. Now they're gonna sell sooooo many goT damn potatoes.
I used to be someone who didn't understand the differences between sex and gender. I thought there were only two genders and I was ignorant in my ways. Gender is all about identity and expression, not genitalia and I am a personal freedom guy, so do you. Men, women and everything in between should be able to live how they want. My stances has always been as long as you aren't hurting other people do whatever the fuck you want. If not identifying as a man or woman is going to make you happier and a more productive human-being I say go for it. Love, Dozo (he/him)
Maybe the problem is a lot of people haven't been exposed to trans/non-binary people before (or at least you didn't know) in real life? Cause if you have and still decide to treat them as subhuman, you're garbage. I've had trans and non-binary students before. One time when I was subbing, I had a transgender student whose (who's?) name hadn't been updated on the roster, so I used her old name during attendance because it was my first time in this class; how tf was I supposed to know? I felt so shitty that I actually complained to the school to fix that so it wouldn't happen again (hashtag good guy). I currently have a non-binary student who prefers us to use they/them pronouns. Since I'm a halfway decent person, I respect that. Do I understand how tf that actually works from a grammatical standpoint? Of course not, but I also still have to look up the different between affect and effect every time I use it and was only half-joking when I second guessed myself with a (who's?). I just cannot wrap my head around people actually getting worked up about this. I'm not talking about those confused in the beginning, I'm talking about the people so passionate about being scumbags because they think their magic man in the sky gives a fuck if a dude wears a dress or a girl has a fade. This is bread and circuses 101. How can you have the energy to actually care about this when literally millions of things are more important? For example; 500,000+ Americans are dead from COVID because selfish ass holes don't know the difference between freedom and having a functioning brain. We're not even two months out on an ATTACK on the United States Capitol by domestic terrorists. There's still thousands of people in Texas without power because of corporate greed and stupidity. The planet is being destroyed and ruined for future generations because of corporate greed and stupidity. We have regular people who are against a LIVING wage for all people because of corporate greed and stupidity. American education is in the toilet; I work in a school that was built in 1938 with heat that only works in half the rooms and in those runs it's 140 degrees. The Celtics are 7-14 in their last 21 games. Need I go on? If you boycott Hasbro, have an issue with this change that will no have negative ramifications to rational people, or genuinely got upset by it for more than a millisecond, you are a loser; like dudes who pay for dick ratings on OnlyFans, you should not be allowed to vote.
P.S.
S/o anybody who stuck an old Mr. Potato Head mustache into their nostrils as a kid to try and get the mustache to stick to their face. I definitely never did that. 
0 Comments
 Song: I Only Wanna Be With You (Hootie and The Blowfish cover) Artist: Post Malone Album: Pokémon 25 When my buddy sent me this song this morning, idk if I was more shocked to see that Post Malone dropped a Hootie cover or that it's in collaboration with the 25th (GROSS) anniversary of Pokémon. I didn't immediately see the connection and honestly still don't, but now that a few hours have passed, it's 100% more surprising to me that Post Malone sang this for Pokémon. I just don't get it; is this a love song for Squirtle? Cause you know I can get behind that, I loved that cute mofo as a kid, but the correlation between the song and movie has me feeling like someone played confusion against me. It's gotta be about a Pokémon unless Ash and Misty are getting it on now? As for connecting the Post Malone dots, it looks like he's a huge Pokémon guy and is headlining a virtual concert in honor of Pokémon's 25th anniversary on February 27th. We've seen Posty cover rock songs before and he fucking crushes it (even when the guitar is out of tune). Sure, I'm little biased because I love rock and tolerate (at best) rap, but the dude actually sounds good as a rocker (unlike MGK). I'm sure he probably makes more money doing the rap stuff, but between what he's done with Ozzy and the Nirvana livesteam last year with Travis Barker; he clearly has the chops to cross over. As for the song itself, it's solid. I love the personal touch switching the lyric to "Cowboys make me cry", but feel like that's the perfect spot to mix in a Pokémon reference. I was shocked to see how many people didn't know Darius was talking about the Miami Dolphins and not the actual animal as if the "I Only Wanna Be With You" video didn't feature Dan fuckin Marino, but then again not everybody has a phD 90's rock like Ole Dozo. P.S. Even when I factor in romanticizing the past/my childhood, The Pokémon Theme Song is one of the best TV theme songs of all-time. You teach me and I'll teach youuuuuu. Pooookeeeeémon! Double P.S.
If you call it Pokéman, fuck you. 
Yes, the Celtics have two All-Stars, but they also have a losing record for the first time since they were 1-2 after falling to the Dallas Mavericks last night, 110-107.
This absolute mess of a season has been disappointing, frustrating and infuriating (give me all the negative adjectives) with countless ugly losses to subpar competition, but in a match-up of .500ish teams, you have to tip your cap to Luka. Dude hit a three to retake the lead with 15 seconds left in the 4th quarter, then hit a game winner essentially as time expired. Very rare!
Via: ESPN According to ESPN Stats & Information research, only one other player has hit a pair of go-ahead 3s in the final 30 seconds of a game over the past 25 seasons. Doncic joined the exclusive company of journeyman guard Dan Dickau, who accomplished the feat for the New Orleans Hornets in a Jan. 22, 2005, win over the LA Clippers.
Now I'll be the first to admit I don't watch a ton of non-Celtics games and even when I do they're usually on TV2 muted because I have to be looking at multiple screens at all times; I've seen Luka play before, but not a ton. Holy shit what a final 30 seconds for that guy. THAT'S what a superstar does in the clutch. I apologize for not using the proper accents in this blog, but knowing Weebly I am not tempting fate and having a blog full of hieroglyphics because they can't handle diacritics.
Let's work backwards before watching Luka push the Celtics below .500, the game was tied at 87 following a Time Lord put-back SLAM.
(side note: read that in styling of Time Has Come Today)
The Mavs went on a 14-2 run to take a 101-89 lead with 3:56 remaining. The C's weren't scoring, but when they did it was pretty siiick between that Time Lord put-back and a Jaylen floater that would've hit the scoreboard if this game was played at Cowboys Stadium.
At this point I was considering sprinkling Celtics live ML since I knew the odds would be pretty favorable and eventually got it in after the Kemba four-point play.
After the Celtics called a timeout following a Jalen Brunson three, they went on a 16-3 run to retake the lead 105-104 following a Jalen Brown 13 footer. It was super encouraging to see the C's fight back and make some clutch plays, but then Luka put Daniel Theis is a fucking blender to wash it all away.
The C's went down and tied the game on Jaylen lay-up. I don't want Jaylen's late game lead-taking and game-tying shots to get lost in the shuffle. V clutch from JB, even though I was screaming they left too much time..which they did, although you could easily argue they just got beat by a fantastic shot.
31/10/8 with two clutch threes in the last 15 seconds. Dude ate all night. Not exactly a coming out party for a guy who's won ROY and is a two-time All-Star, but my goldfish brain is focused on what happened recently and Luka is a bad mother fucker. Just gotta tip my cap to one of the best young players in the NBA.
The C's are right back at again tonight against Atlanta (which will be on TV2 because of the Season Finale of Name That Tune), hopefully Trae Young-Garfunkel doesn't have a similar performance and the Celtics can get back to .500. Gotta finish strong in these next five games before the All-Star break. I'll sign up for 19-17 right now. Even with 16 losses at this point, I still believe in this team. Just need 2-4 more pieces and for Brad to start holding guys accountable, perhaps even raise his voice.
Song: Hurt (live on Jimmy Kimmel Live) Artist: Arlo Parks Album: Collapsed in Sunbeams I have technically posted this video before as it was featured in my "Remember the Name Arlo Parks" blog, but I do not care! Based on views of this video and clicks on DOL, I'm not too sure my millions of loyal avoiders have checked it out, so I'm posting again. Collapsed in Sunbeams is my favorite album of 2021 to this point. Arlo's sound is just so fucking cool. I know that's some elementary ass analysis, but it's exactly what her sound is. This bitch (in a respectful way) is just cool AF. Simple as that (s/o Kid Cudi). **gulps** Dare I even say, angelic? Listen to "Just Go" and try to say it doesn't sound like the personification of cool. P.S.
A+ set design. THIS is how you incorporate social distancing without shoving "oh yea there's a pandemic going on" down our throats. It's nice to forget that and enjoy some art for a moment or two. Hopefully she's right and it won't hurt so much forever. 
Last year, both Jayson Tatum and Jaylen Brown played well enough to garner an invitation to the All-Star Game, but only Jayson was selected.
A yearish later, both of the Celtics' former #3 overall pick, Jay---'s are NBA All-Stars, according to NBA insider Shams Charania who leaked the All-Star reserves 29 minutes before the announcement show was scheduled to air on TNT.
While whether or not there should even be an All-Star Game is still up for debate, given how the C's season has gone so far I'm happy we have something to celebrate. It's a v cool moment for the C's two young stars.
After starting the season 8-3, before three straight games were postponed due to COVID, the Celtics are are in a bit of a cold stretch at 15-15. They just lost on Sunday to the Pelicans in a game that saw them hold a 24 point third quarter lead, but at least it wasn't the Eastern Conference Finals! ....
The C's haven't won back-to-back games in nearly a month (January 24th vs Cleveland and January 25th vs Chicago), but for the most part you cannot blame Tatum or Brown; both are stuffing the stat sheet this season. Jayson Tatum is averaging 26/7.1/4.6 and Jaylen is averaging 25.5/5.5/3.9. It's not their fault Marcus is out and Brad Stevens just doesn't fuck with calling timeouts in dire situations.
Hopefully the recognition for great seasons by Jayson and Jaylen will inspire the Celtics to get back into the win column tonight against fellow All-Star, Luka Doncic and the Dallas Mavericks.
P.S. Not too shabby. This franchise has had a few notable former players.
Song: Keep My Name Outta Your Mouth Artist: The Black Keys Album: Brothers (Remastered 10th Anniversary Edition) When news came out in November that the Black Keys were releasing a remastered 10th anniversary edition one of my all-time favorite albums, Brothers with two unreleased songs, I was so pumped that I never blogged about the unreleased songs until now. Despite being happy about new Black Keys music (at the time), I wasn't crazy about 2019's Let's Rock. It's okay, but didn't draw me back to listen straight through time and time again like Brothers or El Camino. The same cannot be said for "Keep My Name Outta Your Mouth". It's a straight up ass-kickin tune that just sounds like a tough guy in a leather jacket come to life. 
As someone born in 1991, with a sister and upwards of a dozen acquaintances born in 1993 seeing "1993-2021" is fucking me up big time
Daft Punk, one of the most influential and popular groups to emerge in the past 30 years, have announced their retirement via a video titled "Epilogue" posted Monday morning. The duo's longtime publicist, Kathryn Frazier, officially confirmed the split to Variety and declined to provide further details.
The eight-minute clip begins with a scene from the duo's 2006 film "Electroma" that features the pair, Thomas Bangalter and Guy-Manuel de Homem-Christo --- who for many years have concealed their features behind a robot concept--- walking around the desert, wearing in their familiar space helmets and leather jackets. After a few moments, one of the members looks at the other, removes his jacket and reveals an energy pack on the back. The other touches a button on the pack. The first member walks away quickly, and then explodes. The scene cuts to a sunset, or possibly a sunrise, as a choral version of the group's song "Touch" plays. The song is from the duo's 2013 "Random Access Memories" album, which in many ways was a culmination of their career. The album, which included the global hit single "Get Lucky" won the Grammy Award for Best Album the following year. The duo has largely kept a low profile since then, with their most prominent work being a collaboration with the Weeknd on two songs from his 2016 album "Starboy," the title track and "I Feel It Coming." While their rep declined to say whether the duo will continue working together under different names or whether other new projects are in the works, it seems likely, considering the group's famously contrarian and convention-mocking history, that they will continue to release music, videos and whatever other projects strike their fancy. It is even possible that this announcement could be the beginning of a new project.
Composed of Guy-Manuel de Homem-Christo and Thomas Bangalter, French electronic duo, Daft Punk has retired/exploded after nearly 30 years of making music as depicted in their last video "Epilogue". The two met in 1987 while in school in Paris and originally began performing together as an indie-rock band named Darlin' (after the Beach Boys song) with future Phoenix guitarist/keyboardist and fellow Frenchman, Laurent Brancowitz.
I have never been a big EDM guy or claim to be a Daft Punk super fan, but as a blogger who loves the art of music, I have to pay my respects to the forefathers of a genre. I just never really got into that genre. TBH I used to bash it when I was younger, I was one of those "DJs just press buttons" ass holes as if guitar players don't just "touch strings" and Tame Impala isn't one of my favorite "bands". We don't need to unwrap the true POS pre-2018ish Dozo was right now. Vineyard Nights singer DJ Bean's thought's on Daft Punk explain my stance marvelously; not super into them, but can appreciate them.
Many people (classic blogger speak when you have no concrete examples, but generally have an idea of something) credit Daft Punk with popularizing EDM. As someone whose dance moves make Dr. Loveless look like Usher, that genre just wasn't for me. Not to go full music hardo, but I can actually vaguely remember Daft Punk breaking onto the scene. When I was in 4th grade we had a show and tell day with CD's and someone actually brought in a copy of Discovery. "One More Time" was so huge that fuckin' elementary schoolers knew it. Since my brain makes no sense I can also remember three other featured CD's from that musical show and tell were Blink 182's Take Off Your Pants and Jacket, Alien Ant Farm's ANThology and Pink's M!ssundaztood.
Until super recently, like maaaybe three weeks ago, I had never heard the album in its entirety. One of my roommates has the vinyl for Discovery and all three of us vibed tf out to it within the last month. 
(proof my roommate owns a copy of that album)
I mean no disrespect, but to me, Daft Punk was sort of like the electronic version of Santana since many of their songs (that I knew) featured someone else singing.
When I think of Daft Punk, after Kraft Punk, Random Access Memories is what comes to mind. That was THE album of 2013 (literally, it won Album of the Year at the 2014 Grammys) and 2013 was my first 21 summer so it holds a special place in my heart. "Get Lucky" was on at every bar, probably four to nine times a night. To steal a phrase that wasn't as prevalent back then "that shit slapped". It was everywhere. Last year, Rolling Stone named it the 295th greatest album of all-time. R.A.M. saw Daft Punk collaborate with artists like Niles Rodgers, Pharrell and Julian Casablancas, but I swear these dudes have worked with everybody under the sun. My personal favorites collabs are probably "Starboy" and "I Feel It Coming" from The Weeknd's 2016 album of the same name as the former, but "Get Lucky" is pretty close to a perfect song. They've been featured and sampled in countless songs too; perhaps most notably Kanye West's 2007 smash "Stronger". Plus, the only LCD Soundsystem song I know references Daft Punk in the title. From what I've learned from friends today, Daft Punk hasn't released an album since and haven't toured in even longer, but as of now Daft Punk is no more; even though many people (oops I did it again) don't believe this is the last we'll hear of them. Not to recycle a reference that you like didn't read on Friday, but the music these guys made over the years; I don't really listen to it. But the fact that they did it, I respect that. Congratulations on a fantastic career, Daft Punk. They didn't break up, they retired!
P.S.
Kraft Punk cannot die. Even if I spam it into the ground online, but I fucking LOVE Kraft Punk. It may be my favorite Eric Andre bit of all time. Makes me laugh every time. Fuck cringeworthy bios like "I'm just a Jim looking for a Pam", whenever I return to online dating I'm putting "Will you be my cheese wife?"
Credit to me for getting 5 likes (as 6:51PM est 2/22/21) with a typo.
Song: Instant Crush Artist: Daft Punk ft. Julian Casablancas Album: Random Access Memories (2013) 
Growing up, I religiously watched GSN; that's Game Show Network for those reading this with no sense of television abbreviations. S/o one of my favorite as a kid, Whammy! The All-New Press Your Luck.
I love all things trivia and game shows; even skits making fun of game shows. I used to go to bar trivia before I was 21 just to play, not drink (I was a loser and never had a fake ID).
Now in modern times, I play The Dozen daily trivia every morning during my wake-up poop and have gone 11 for 12 multiple times. My brain is simply chock full o'trivial knowledge. I don't know the social studies standards I'm supposed to teach to or how to have a light conversation with someone I haven't seen in months in a social setting, but I can tell you that John Rockefeller was supposed to be on the train that crashed in the Angola Horror and that Ozzie Smith was a career .262 hitter. To this day, one of my biggest dreams in life is to be a game show host, it's just taken a backseat to "reality" and the #HireDozo campaign. It's honestly the perfect job IMO. You're hosting a game (not exactly breaking brick), having fun, dressing nice, garnering some celebrity status, watching people (sometimes) win life changing money. Sounds like a blast to me. At least for now I can say I have been a game show contestant before. I don't watch much live broadcast TV outside of live sports, but there's two shows that are appointment viewing for me every week; Name That Tune every Wednesday at 9pm and The Chase every Thursday at 9pm. If you follow me on twitter: @dozonlife you know how much I want/need to be on Name That Tune.
While I enjoy NTT more, both are solid shows and something I legitimately look forward to every week, but this blog isall about The Chase and host Sara Haines. If you haven't seen it before, like most American things, it started in England. The GSN version featured Mark Labbett, aka "The Beast", whom has some serious Dozah vibes.
The new American version is a little bit different, but essentially the same game as the GSN run. Now instead of one chaser, there's three in a rotation of the Big Three from Jeopardy; Ken "The Professor" Jennings, James "The Highroller" Holzhauer and Brad "The Buzzsaw" Ruetter.
FTR, I'm a Professor guy. Brad's wannabe cool personality and awful attempts at comedy where he admits he was lying and trying to make a joke make me cringe like I'm a watching a sex scene with my parents.
So on The Chase, a team of three people try to beat "the Chaser" in trivia, but not until they individually play a "Cash Builder" round and take on "the Chaser" for a spot in the "Final Chase". If you don't "bank" your winnings from the Cash Builder round by letting the Chaser catch up to you by getting questions wrong that he gets right, you are eliminated and money does not go towards your teams bank.
During the "Cash Builder" round, host Sara Haines reads questions for one minute while the contestant answers and gets $25,000 towards their team's bank for every correct answer they give. Say you answer four correctly; you've earned $100,000 that will go towards your bank if you beat the Chaser. What's really cool here is you can bet on yourself. You can either take less money, but be one spot closer to banking it, or become one step closer to the chaser for significantly more cash. (Example from last night's episode) 
What really grinds my gears as a Game Show guy, scratch that, as a Game Show aficionado is how host, Sara Haines, goes about reading questions during the "Cash Builder" round. For one, she is no Steve Harvey in fast money, trying to be as quick as possible for the contestant, but my main problem is how she just doesn't reveal the answer to the final question if time expires. I don't know if The Chase is doing this to recycle questions for a later date or something? But I've noticed this a couple times before; she'll read a question, time will expire and she just doesn't tell the people playing and more importantly those watching at home what the correct answer is. It happened TWICE last night.
Like I said, hosting a Game Show is a pretty sweet gig. As long as you're attractive and know how to speak you'll do great (which is why I'm FUCKED), but even the easiest of jobs have things that are requirements. If you ask a question and nobody answers or gets it correct, you HAVE TO say what the answer is, even if it's because time expired. That's Game Show 101.
I know I already used this format in the tweet, but seriously...imagine how different Jeopardy would've been if the late, great Alex Trebek didn't smugly tell nerds who know nothing about sports what "the option" is?
Imagine you're watching Wheel of Fortune because you have nothing going on before Jeopardy starts and nobody solved a puzzle; instead of Pat Sajak saying what it is, he just moved on to the next question while you sit their wondering for the rest of your life what the fuck the answer was? You'd never watch again!
Why is Sara Haines doing this to the people at home? The Chase hasn't been picking up for a second season yet and if that's something the people behind this show would like to see happen they gotta tell her to hook up the people playing at home. I almost understand if you've only said half the question why you wouldn't give the answer, but that 144 tile game question was just out there in the universe for like seven seconds and she couldn't have just said "the correct answer is ____________" (I thiiink it's Hanafuda after looking it up myself).
What she's doing is not right and honestly sort of fucked up. It's like Game Show blue balls. It should be a crime for someone with such an awesome gig to not fully appreciate it or know the basics of Game Show etiquette. I'm not saying you need to become a legend like Bob Barker or Alex Trebek, but have some sense of the responsibility you have a Game Show host. There's millions of people watching on pins and needles wondering what the answer is to a question and you're just gonna move on and act like nothing happened like you send an embarrassing text? It's unacceptable. Imagine if Drew Carey didn't give the actual retail price of the Showcase Showdown?! I like Sara and I want her to have chance to redeem herself, but if it happens again... 
Last week I blogged about the upcoming Patrice O'Neal documentary "Killin is Easy" that is set to debut TONIGHT on Comedy Central at 10pm EST.
Even though Friday night signifies the unofficial end of February vacation for subs like me, I have been looking forward to this event all week. I can't wait to watch. I love Patrice O'Neal and documentary films. As I type this, there's almost nine hours until the doc is set to premiere and if you're looking for a little something to get you in the mood for tonight, then I've got just the clip for you. I don't need to list all the comics, you can read the tweet, I believe in you, but a group of comics put out this clip yesterday giving their takes on how Patrice would've handled all the things that made 2020 so....unique. S/o Bonnie McFarlane for completely punting on what Patrice would've thought about racial unrest. Good call, that's how you make an "uncomfortable" topic funny. Bill Burr summed it up perfectly at the end. Watch now to know what I'm referencing! You might even learn something, like one of Patrice's hidden talents.
|
Archives
November 2020
|
RSS Feed