After standing pat at the deadline perhaps the anger of the fanbase has leaked into the clubhouse? As Rick Porcello has become the embodiment of "just because you won the game, doesn't mean you pitched well" with a 7.54 over his last four starts going into tonight. The numbers get stinkier (real word?) than a homemade candle when you go back a few starts further back.
Ricky allowed a run in the first inning and when the 2016 Cy Young Award Winner returned to the dugout he displayed the type of anger you only see when someone shows up to a dinner party uninvited with their babysitter slash lover and took it out on two dugout tvs.
At least he came back out and dealt after destroying (two) $200 plasma screen tvs.
Hopefully one night soon he'll make everything alright, but after what the Tribe did with Bauer maybe this means the Red Sox will consider parting ways with Porcello? At what point do you DFA? I love Ricky and want him to do well, but you can't keep throwing this guy out there every 5 days. 22 million needs to get you more than a 5.55 era.
P.S.
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“Well, we talked right to the deadline,” Dombrowski said, as seen on NESN’s trade deadline coverage. “Our primary focus was relief pitching, that was our primary focus. Not back-end-type guys, because I think the reality of back-end guys when we start getting into those conversations, I don’t know of any back-end — well, Shane Green is one guy that moved — back-end guys that any of the ones we had on our list really moved. And I think part of that was the acquisition price. … We tried to (add bullpen pieces), we just didn’t like the asking price so we went right to the very end. Some people brought up positional player stuff to us today, so again you listen to anything, I bet you I have texts from 20 general managers on my phone right now from today and more than that over the last couple days. So we tried, we just didn’t like the price at the very end.
Excerpt via: https://nesn.com/2019/07/dave-dombrowski-explains-why-red-sox-didnt-make-move-at-trade-deadline/
Unfuckingbelievable. I cannot believe this team just did nothing at the deadline. Nahhhh, we're cool leading the world in blown saves! The 4th place Cincinnati Reds are out here bettering themselves with trades while the defending World Champs will just re-watch the God Awful 2018 World Series film all October with their thumbs up their asses because of how poorly allocated the Red Sox resources have been.
They (Albert Einstein, ever heard of him?) say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Well ladies and gentlemen, It appears the Red Sox have gone insane. There's no more waiver-trades, so this roster is pretty much what the Red Sox have going forward. Boston relievers have a 5.18 ERA (83 1/3 innings, 48 earned runs) and 1.51 WHIP during July. Overall, Boston relievers have combined for a 4.53 ERA in 411 innings. (numbers via Mass Live). Buckle-up for the final 54 games of 2019.
While I totally agree the club here needs to be more consistent the biggest reason they haven't been and are 9 games back in the AL East is the bullpen. If they only have say, 13 blown saves this year (which is still pretty bad) they're right in the heart of this.
Despite losing about 10 games they just frankly should've never lost, the Sox are 10 games over .500. They're only two games out of the wild card with the potential to "do damage" again in October. They have most of the pieces. With the Yankees starting pitching woes and recent struggles against the Sox, you never know, it's not like teams haven't blown leads that big before in baseball history. (Look up 69 Cubs, 78 Red Sox, 95 Angels, 14 A's...those are just off the top of my head) But even if you want to concede the division, this organization should be trying to get in the dance by any means necessary. We all know the tough decisions that are coming with J.D. and Mookie, you gotta go for it when you can because you're never promised another shot. I understand not wanting to mortgage the future, I don't want to either. But you gotta do something. You can't keep sending these same guys out there night after night. If you're gonna have this mentality to just bring back the entire team from last year that won the World Series then you also have to believe that this team can do it again if they get in, so wouldn't you do something to help their chances? Deep down the Sox front office knows they can't because of this bullpen, but since they already butchered the payroll they'll just keep going with they've got and what they've got is a bullpen that walks everybody and blows about 2 games a week. Poor Matt Barnes arm is going to fall off. The biggest reason they're 9 games back has been because of the bullpen! I want to be mad at the guys on the roster but it's almost not even their fault. You can't put AAA guys into these high leverage situations night after night and get mad at them for failing. You need to be mad at the guys who put them in a positon to fail. I will say the blown save stat is a little skewed because technically relievers that blow leads in the 7th or 8th that never would be in the game for the remainder of it are hit will blown saves when they give up a lead, so it's not like they've blown 18 9th inning leads, but still it's pretty fucking bad and frankly inexcusable for a team that just won 108 games and a championship. Highest payroll in baseball and they've spent about 40 bucks on the bullpen. Instead of doing anything to address that this off season when they let a HOF closer, and pretty cool set-up man go they replaced them with a bunch of nothing. The Red Sox offense as a team is first in the AL in hits, runs, doubles, batting average, and OBP. They're 3rd in slugging % and 4th in homers. They rake. The offense has for the most part been 2018-like. Mookie isn't having an MVP season, but the left-side of the infield in Xander Bogaerts & Rafael "Baby Beluga" Devers are having MVP-type campaigns.
It's so annoying as a Red Sox fan. Part of me feels bad complaining, because I mean this ownership has won four World Series in 15 years, hands down the most in the majors, I'll always be grateful and appreciative of those years. We also have to acknowledge the constant bad contracts to the wrong guys, and overall attitude of ownership that seems to be pretty complacent after such a magical 2018. John Henry is more worried about Liverpool, and killing the constitution by controlling the newspaper and radio than putting money in the right spots. Yes this team spends money, but in the wrong ways. I almost wish they had a small-market guy in here. You gotta know how build a TEAM. Not just throw 30 million at starting pitchers. The 2019 Red Sox are basically a luxury mansion with a leaking roof and no windows. Yeah it may look great from a far, but it's going to protect you for shit. It doesn't matter how many runs you score or how the starters perform if you have nobody to get the final 9 outs of the game.
I think at this point bringing back the whole 2018 team minus a bullpen was a mistake. The way this team handled Spring Training was a mistake, and the way Alex Cora managed the majority of the 1st half just saying we're good, we'll be find was a mistake. I think teams that won a championship always need to bring in a couple hungry guys whether in be in free agency or the draft. Look at the NFL. Cause I mean, I get it, I'm a human. I understand how human nature works, after winning it all I'm sure you get a little complacent. It's hard not to. Sure they may say and do all the right things with the media saying we embrace the chase to repeat, but the on-field production and overall just vibe of this team has shown guys that may not have the same fire in their belly. It all comes down to this offseason, the Red Sox got too sentimental and spent money the wrong way which handcuffed the pen. Dave Dumbroski is infamous for putting together great teams with poor bullpens. It's a major reason why the Red Sox won in 2013 and the Tigers haven't won a World Series since '84. Last year was incredible but it's fucking embarrassing how this team has followed it up this year. While I'm upset with Dumbo, the front office and ownership, a large slice of the blame pie belongs to the starting rotation. Chris Sale and Rick Porcello have been gross in 2019, and while David Price has carried the staff he too at times has had his bad moments, although his major issue is really just health and attitude. Today embarks the unofficial final third of the season. With no waiver-trades anymore the Red Sox are going out there with Colten Brewer and Marcus Walden. Awesome. Congratulations to the Houston Astros on winning the AL Pennant.
As the 150th Major League Baseball season approaches its trade deadline I find it quite appropriate that one of the oldest teams in the league, the Cincinnati Reds have taken the baseball world by storm with moves both and off the field this evening.
I was in the camp that thought the Indians weren't gonna trade Bauer, but I guess most infamous throw by a Cleveland athlete since Red-Right 88 gets you sent out of town. What a way to go out.
At first I thought it was a bad trade for the Tribe just because I am a strong believer in you can never have too much pitching, but the more I looked into it, it's great deal for Cleveland. (Despite a 1000% impending suspension for his actions tonight) Yasiel Puig instantly upgrades the Indians outfield. The Indians outfield production is among the worst in baseball, and the Sox still found a way to let a dude hitting .100 beat them in the only game I've been to this year.
Once the news broke that the Reds traded for their cross-state rivals' let's call him "misunderstood" mini-ace baseball world was a-rockin'. I am so ready for an exciting trade deadline. I want to see teams go for it. I miss the years of my early baseball fandom with wild trade deadlines. Probably romanticizing the past a little hear but whatever. My timeline may be off but according to my twitter research less than a half hour after trading Puig to the Indians. in the top of the 9th of a game they were losing by 8 runs Amir Garrett appeared to be getting chirped by the Pirates dugout. In case you haven't following story-lines of sub .500, but exciting NL Central rivals, there has been some serious early 70's era bad blood this year between these two teams. Derek Dietrich pimped a homer in April and the Pirates still aren't over it. It's a whole thing.
Insane stuff, but exactly what baseball needs. Yeah, I'm not a pro-violence guy,especially in a domestic setting, I don't even follow UFC. But in baseball there is nothing more exciting than a bench clearing brawl. The Red Sox Yankees brawl on July 24th, 2004 is one of my all time favorite sports moments. Nothing like good, ole fashion, bad blood. You don't see enough of it in today's AAU culture that has sort of dripped into baseball and the NFL. Dudes grow up playing guys all the time and are more friends than foes. I'm all cool for being boys but how can you not enjoy seeing guys who absolutely hate each other compete? Amir Garrett literally took on an entire club. I don't understand how that isn't entertaining to some people.
I'm sooooooo ready tomorrow. Bring on the deadline.
P.S. What a way for Puig to go out as a Red. He's going to be a Cincy legend forever. All-time wild tenure-ending-moment guy trade. Bauer for Puig (+ way more)
Song: Chamber of Reflection Artist: Mac DeMarco Album: Salad Days 
The Red Sox have finally done something to address the ineffectiveness of the 2019 team's bullpen. In a move that frankly had to be made, RHP Ryan Brasier has been sent down to the Paw Sox. LHP Darwinzon Hernandez has been called up to take Brasier's roster spot.
Sure, as a team the bullpen numbers aren't that far off from 2018, but make no mistake about it, the Red Sox bullpen has been a disaster in 2019. The internet has been wearing out Cherynobl references when talking about disasters, so I won't pick that low-hanging fruit. I wouldn't say it's been that bad as I'm fairly confident nobody has died from radiation poisoning due to the Red Sox bullpen, but then again Cherynobl didn't have have 18 blown saves as a team in the first 94 games of the year (nearly 20% of all games this year) so it'd be unfair to assume this team's play hasn't been hazardous to people's health. After nearly squandering a 10-4 8th inning lead last night by allowing 4 runs (3 earned) against the juggernaut, 35 win Toronto Blue Jays finally Sox decided they cannot keep trotting this guy out there. This team is too good to be squeaking out wins when they score double digit runs against teams that are 60 games under .500. In his last 3.1 innings over 4 appearances Brasier has allowed 8 runs, 7 of which were earned. If you're new to baseball that is bad. Small sample size, for sure, but believe me Brasier has been horrific in 2019. While ERA doesn't tell the entire story, especially for a bullpen guy, Brasier's ERA in 2019 is 4.24. His WHIP has gone up nearly half a base-runner per inning, walk rate is up, and he single handled ruined the only game I've been to this year by giving up 2 home runs (including one to a guy hitting below. 100) in the 9th inning against the Indians after I stayed during the entire two-ish hour rain delay. Same week my Grandma died so thanks a lot for that moral booster, Ry. Ryan Brasier was a pleasant, effective surprise in 2018. In 33.2 innings over 34 appearances Brasier had a minuscule 1.60 ERA. He only allowed 6 runs during the 2018 regular season. Between putting up those numbers (despite not appearing in a major league game for 5 years), his story of getting back to the bigs and telling Gary Sanchez to get back in the fucking box Brasier wasn't necessarily a "fan favorite" but he definitely was a guy Red Sox fans were diggin' for a brief period of time.
As much as I've shit on Brasier this year and have been frustrated by his ineffectiveness, I do in a way feel bad for the guy. I'm sure he'll be the first to admit he's struggled this year, but the Red Sox front office aka Dave Dombroski, who totally screwed up the bullpen (shocker!) this off-season deserve a major piece of this blame pie. I think they asked too much out of him. If you're not gonna re-sign Joe Kelly and Craig Kimbrel, you should at least do something to replace them, not just be like "we're straight". Relying on a guy who's thrown under 50 innings in the big leagues to replace Craig Kimbrel (who is going to make the HOF) with hindsight, and also foresight was not an intelligent baseball decision.
This was the Red Sox and Dumbo not allocating funds properly trying to save money on the pen. Let's not forget the Red Sox started this guy off as the closer. Yeah, as baseball evolves the idea of traditional "closer" may disappear, but it hasn't yet, and putting all that pressure on a guy who pitched 43.1 innings last year including the playoffs clearly was a mistake. After designating another 2018 postseason hero, Eduardo Nunez for assignment, it's clear the Red Sox are finally starting to realize this team as currently constructed is cannot win a World Series and achievements from last year aren't going to save your job as the deadline approaches.
There is a lot of blame to go around (Hi, Chris Sale), and while I feel bad for Brasier getting into this situation, at the end of the day he's a professional athlete and this is something that happens when you perform worse than reactor #4.
Ah shit. P.S. Brasier had his moments last year and statistically he was solid in October. I'll always appreciate what he did last year and hope he can figure things out. As annoying as this season has been with the countless blown games, this organization did just win 119 games and this thing called the World Series. As long as the Yankees don't win it this year I'm happy (boldface lie). But that doesn't mean you just punt on 2019. Was it really fair to expect Ryan Brasier to turn into some legit back of the bullpen arm at 31 years old? Song: Shine A Little Light Artist: The Black Keys Album: Let's Rock The Black Keys are BACK! Full review soon. 
Today may be worse for fans of "The Office" than the day Kevin infamously dropped an entire pot of his chili on the carpet. The beloved NBC comedy will be leaving Netflix in 2021 and heading to the network's new streaming service.
All nine seasons of the sitcom will be available on NBC's yet-to-be launched streaming service for five years, beginning in 2021, according to a Tuesday press release. NBC announced it secured the domestic streaming rights to the hit. 'The Office' is one of our most prized series, and we are thrilled it has found an exciting new home where generation after generation will continue to discover and rediscover Michael Scott's most cringe-worthy moments, Jim and Pam's will-they-or-won't-they, and the incredible quirky ensemble that makes each episode a masterclass in comedy," said Universal Television president Pearlena Igbokwe, according to the release. The comedy, which ran for nearly eight years, was streamed for over 52 billion minutes in 2018 and was the most-watched show on Netflix last year, according to the Wall Street Journal. The second spot was held by another network hit, "Friends." Netflix commented on the show's departure Tuesday. "We're sad that NBC has decided to take The Office back for its own streaming platform — but members can binge watch the show to their hearts' content ad-free on Netflix until January 2021," Netflix tweeted. NBC's ad-supported streaming service is set to launch in 2020. It will feature "some of the world's most popular television and film franchises, including homegrown original programming, as well as content from outside partners," the release said. "The Office" premiered on NBC in 2005 and was adapted from the hit BBC show of the same name. The hit is largely responsible for catapulting some of Hollywood's biggest stars into the limelight, including John Krasinski, Mindy Kaling and Steve Carell. In the words of Andy Bernard — and now likely fans everywhere: "I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days, before you've actually left them." via: www.cbsnews.com/news/the-office-leaving-netflix-2021-for-nbc-streaming-service/
After years of rumors, it's actually happening; The Office is leaving Netflix (in 2021)
As I am currently more shook than Meredith was after getting hit by Michael's PT Cruiser, please allow me to express my emotions in gif form.
Now that I've gotten that out of my system, let's do a little reflection.
When someone tries to explain how streaming rights work.
"BuT DoZo, yOu CaN jUsT sUbScRiBe tO tHe NeW NbC StReAmInG aPp tO WaTcH tHe OfFicE"
Just what we all need: another streaming service to "alleviate" the high costs of cable.
As a huge (literally and figuratively) fan of The Office it hurts to admit (especially with its popularity in my youth) but I didn't watch The Office regularly until after Steve Carell left the show.
I mean, I knew about The Office and had seen bits and pieces, but let's be real; back in the late 2000's/early 2010's streaming was in its infancy. Unless you bought the DVDs you couldn't really catch up with a show unless you were really good at maneuvering a DVR. Even if that was the case, the likelihood of whatever program you're looking for being aired chronologically was minimal at best. Plus if you were like me and living at home you were low on the DVR rights Totem pole and subject to your dad deleting all your shows to have room on the DVR to record the same episode of Modern Marvels six times because he didn't know you can change the settings to only record the new episodes.
Being an idiotic 19 year old I didn't know a lot. One thing I did know was that someday thanks to the internet and streaming The Office would become the most popular one of the most beloved and pop culturally relevant shows ever. You gotta know those references! Having this foresight, I signed up for Netflix in 2011 specifically for The Office. I ended up binging the first 7 seasons in a tad over 3 weeks (11/30/11-12/25/11) and was hooked quicker than the amount of time Toby's hand was on Pam's knee. The Office was the first show I ever binged on Netflix. As a sentimental guy and huge Office fan I'm pretty sad to see it go. You never forget your first. Obviously there are a handful of more important issues worldwide, but with the quintessential "screw it, I'm done looking for something to watch" show (as of January 2021) gone from Netflix it's gonna be tough to move forward. Now you'll have to argue with your friends even longer before finally agreeing on something to have on in the background while you look at snapchat. Like many other lameos on the internet, I made the same shitty jokes about Netflix basically being a monthly subscription to own the DVDs of The Office, but as the say in comedy, it's funny because it's true. For like 3 years all I watched on Netflix was The Office and like 4 other shows. I'm quite intrigued to see what percentage of Netflix subscribers will leave when the rights for The Office expire. I saw a stat today that The Office made up for 3% of all streams on Netflix in 2018; crazy considering how many other options there are readily available. Now that we know it's gone that age old question "Is it better to die suddenly or have time to prepare and say goodbye?" comes into play. Do you want to go quick or suffer? The one good thing about The Office leaving Netflix is that its in 2021 which has like a 14% chance of not even happening. If the world ends by then at least may technically not ever have to live without The Office on Netflix. Like all losses, people react in a variety of ways. What stage of grief are you in?
1. Denial
2. Bargaining
3. Depression
4. Anger
5. Acceptance.
P.S. I legitimately have re-watched The Office at least 15 times over the last 8 years. While its one of my favorite shows ever, it did sort of get to the point where it fell out of my "Netflix rotation" since there's so much great content on Netflix. It's re-watchable AF but with only so many hours in the day to stream you have to make sacrifices. Double P.S. That being said, something light-hearted like The Office is an absolute necessity for me after watching something dark and heavy late at night. I don't get how people can watch Ted Bundy shows then go right to sleep without a comedic-palate cleanser. 
On Sunday night like a lot of people in this region I was watching Game 6 of the Stanley Cup Final. I was with four of my cousins and one of their gfs at a Buffalo Wild Wings. Crushing Garlic Parm Boneless wings (hands down the best sauce available at BWW) as the Bruins were winning 1-0 in the 3rd period of a must win game.
S/o Marchand.
The mood was awesome and we were having a great time.
Then around 10 pm I got a notification saying David Ortiz had been shot in the Dominican Republic and everything changed.
Quickly my facade of giving a shit about the Bruins evaporated. I dove deep like Frédéric Dumas into my phone constantly looking for updates on Big Papi's condition. Refreshing twitter legitimately every 2 seconds. I felt badly about it because I wanted to be more present in the moment with my family, but I mean it's Big Papi. I couldn't believe what I was reading. I was terrified. Is David Ortiz seriously going to die? Why would someone shoot David Ortiz?? Why are people such fucking ass holes? Seeing it happened in the Dominican was even more shocking because Papi is literally a God to those people for all the good he's done for the community. At first we were told he was shot in the leg. In the moment all I was thinking about was get this dude to Boston where he can get real treatment, but I understand it's not entirely that simple. Normally a shot to the leg isn't fatal, but I would presume getting shot in the leg in a 3rd world country is a lot getting shot in the leg during the Civil War. After reading this tweet my heart sank as if it were attached to an anchor.
When it came out that he was actually shot in the back and it went through his abdomen I was a wreck. Threat level midnight. I'm no anatomy wiz, but that is just is so much more serious when you think of all the organs the bullet could've ripped through. He's already had his gallbladder removed. To think that someone would go after him in his homeland (we'll open that can of worms shortly) where he is responsible for soooooo much positivity was mind-boggling. Sadly the truth in this world is that it only takes one nut job to ruin everything.
Just the night before the shooting, I was at PVDfest with some friends when shots were fired. I heard them behind me and started really earning that (bull) Dozah nickname again. Luckily nobody was shot, but in the moment you don't fucking know that. You try not to live your life in constant fear, but it's hard to not nowadays. My friends and I somehow got into a crowd where let's just say... I did not feel at home. Plus we were packed to brim. It was a nightmare, I have wicked bad anxiety as it is and being a fat dude it's already amplified, I feel bad when I try to squeeze through and don't want to be up in up in people's mouths. Being stuck in a crowd where I feel trapped with no exit route is in my personal hell on earth. Literally seconds before the gunshots I said this is my fucking nightmare and some stranger overheard me and said "me too". You assume the worst, similarly to what happened Sunday. Sure it seems like David will be okay, but in the moment you don't know that. This world is a scary place and as fucked up as it is to think, PVDfest is a lunatic's wet dream. People are out just having a good time and extremely vulnerable. The same thing happened to David Sunday night. He was at a bar just talking to people, having a good time. Then some baby-back bitch shot him from behind. I bring that up because it made me reflect and take a step back on how quickly everything can be taken away. Don't call the cliché police but I just thought about how precious life is and that everyday is a gift. I'll be the first to admit I take way too much for granted and moments like Saturday and Sunday night really puts shit in perspective. You think nothing is going to happen to you, why would someone go after me? But as we've seen countless times in this country that totally innocent people are gunned down seemingly every hour. All this unnecessary violence makes me so damn angry. I fucking hate guns. What kind of world are we living in where someone like David Ortiz has a hit on his life? There were some instances of people saying things like "why go back?" or that Papi had been tipped off that he was in danger, but like he said on April 20th, 2013 "nobody gonna dictate our freedom". Depending on when I finish this blog we're essentially 48 hours after the news broke that David Ortiz was shot in the Dominican Republic. At first it was reported he was shot in the leg in a robbery, but we all know now what really went down. David was shot in the back by an absolute coward. I mean the elephant in the room is that he may have been fucking some drug kingpin's wife so there was a hit out on him. That's some serious shit, but I mean I know essentially nothing about the situation. It does make perfect sense as a motive, but regardless of what may or may not have happened leading up to the shooting I'm not going to judge or assume until all the facts are out. It appears (as of now) that David Ortiz is going to make a full recovery but I don't even like saying that until it's certain. What occurred Sunday night has me like many other people shook tf up. Pedro put it perfectly.
I overuse love a lot when it comes to sports and athletes but I legitimately love David Ortiz. (goodbye-big-papi.html) Papi is so much more than a baseball player, he's an icon. Keenan Thompson does him on SNL, how many other baseball players have been relevant on SNL the last 15 years? He's beloved by all, even Yankee fans (who felt they had to make sure they let you know they were a Yankee fan before tweeting that they hope he doesn't die).
I spent 2016 following his final season like a dead head. I wish I got to more games, but I was able to go to his final regular season game at Fenway. It was a horrible game and I'm pretty sure Papi went 0-5, but to be there for the ceremonies honoring his career and impact is something I'll always appreciate, especially since I got to experience it with my mom. Papi is the most clutch hitter in baseball history, and by all accounts a fantastic dude. (I'm a big anti-cheating guy, but with athletes and celebrities I feel like there's this gray area. It's a lot different when they cheat compared to like your uncle because they don't live in the real world)
What David did in 2013 for the city of Boston will never be forgotten. He helped Boston rally around the Red Sox during a tragedy and what he said at Fenway on April 20th, 2013 is how everybody felt.
I've said for years I think he's the most important player in Red Sox history and we cannot lose him yet. If you want to say Ted Williams was a better baseball player I'm not gonna argue with you. IMO when it comes to overall legacy and changing the entire culture of this franchise; David Ortiz is the first name that comes to mind.
Get well soon, Big Papi. There are so many people out there who love you. Stay strong.
Oh June 5th, you have quite the history;
1968: Robert F. Kennedy was shot down by Sirhan Sirhan (would you believe he's still alive??) in the kitchen of the Ambassador hotel (RFK lived another 26 hours and died on the 6th so that's the official assassination date). 
S/o Rosey Grier
2017: Almost as tragic; Ke$ha's hug attempt on Jerry Seinfeld was shot down. One of my favorite weird internet moments of all time. Who would've ever guessed these two would cross paths this way? Jerry Seinfeld is definitely is NOT a hugger, and of course he didn't know who Kesha was. He's Jerry fucking Seinfeld. Jer isn't waking up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy (although I bet Diddy loves cereal too)
2019: On the 11th anniversary of (after getting stabbed) the most infamous moments of his career; Paul Pierce admits the wheelchair he used in Game 1 of the 2008 NBA Finals was because he had take a shit.
For those who somehow read DOL, but do not know of this moment and need some background:
Talk about total life altering news.
*to the tone of Bob the Builder* "Paul-the-poooo-per-ne-eds!-a!-wheel!--chair. Paul-the-poooo-per-just-came-cleannn." I don't know if I've ever related to one of my favorite athletes more than right now. As a hugeee shit at the absolute worst time(s) guy, I totally get it. Now whether Paul just needed an excuse to get to the bathoom...like NOW, I cannot move another inch without exploding OR if he had already made poopie in his diapie remains to be seen. Either way...it happens. Hand up I've had both. There are lots of people who don't want to it admit it, but most adults have had (at-least) one "I was not expecting that to be poop" accident. It's the worst. But what are you gonna do? I say laugh at it. Like the classic literary tale once said: Everyone Poops. Sure, in the moment it may not be easiest thing to do, and I'm sure that's exactly how the Truth felt. When it's happening all you can do is pray you make it to bowl. Really sucks for him back then the NBA was way more strict about wearing white at home. If the Celtics had on those fugly black jerseys maybe he could've gotten away more gracefully? I remember in the moment thinking "holy shit the series is over". I thought he blew out his knee. I was I was a sophomore in HS and lived and died with this team. The road to the finals had already been much rockier than expected. At the time I, like many people thought the captain andddddddddddd the Truth had a serious knee injury. We didn't know he'd return minutes later (weighing less!) For all these years people have speculated what was going on with the Truth. Wtf happened? Was he faking it? He looked as if he too had been shot down by full limp and needing the assistance of a wheelchair to get to the locker-room. HOLD UP WAIT A MINUTE.. IN BLOG BREAKING NEWS. PAUL IS BACK IN THE POOP CLOSET
I'm still running with it anyways!
 Nothing like a short and to the point headline to lead off. Five years is a longgggg time for the rumors to circulate, and oh did they ever during the Black Keys five year hiatus following the conclusion of their Turn Blue Tour. I know I wasn't alone in thinking they might be done for good.  With the Arkon/Nashville duo's 9th album "Let's Rock" set to come out in late June it was only a matter of time before they released a music video. At first it seemed like they were going full post-Ten Pearl Jam by releasing "Hi/Lo" and "Eaglebirds" without videos, but alas here we are. In case you were wondering, they know what people have been saying online about them with this story-line that's about as subtle as a punch in the face. ft: a fake Akron radio clip. The video starts with the Dan and Pat in therapy not talking about how they haven't talked in five years. Off to a healthy start already. I didn't recognize the guy playing the therapist, but he did a great job! The America's Sweethearts line stole the show. Since the video has legit credits like a movie I now know his name is Jesse James Locorriere and not only is he an American actor, but he's a proud father too! Which is great...but not exactly relevant on an IMDb page in my eyes. Maybe if you spent a little more time acting and a little less with the kids you'd be on wikipedia like someone who's made it?   After being given the option to break their silence or face the next stage of mediation we see the Keys in that classic Cadillac on their way to Happy Trails Intentional Community & Spiritual Retreat.  The Keys have been known to have some fun with videos in the past, most notably in 2010's "Tighten Up". While there were no pocket donuts in "Go" there were plenty of other fun things like: Doctorate Degrees  Soda! (maybe lay off cokes, Pat?)  Vanity Plates  And that's all barely before the song starts. We got drums outside.  We got drums inside.  Kevin Parker???  Sage Smudge (had to google)  A throwback 100% intentionally Chief Wahoo-free Indians Pennant.  Father Time?  Your now "retired" middle school English teacher.  Textbook passive aggressive behavior.  Karate  Karate gone wrong!  Psychedelics  The realization getting back together will line your pockets better than donuts.   What a video, the Black Keys are back! Let's Rock indeed. P.S. It's okay Pat. You're a dad now, it's to be expected. I know you're reading this and I was just kidding. |
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June 2019
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