I don't want to sound like the boy who cried Brian Wolfe, I know the DOZens of DOL readers remember way back on June 9th when I wrote a fantastic blog about Nathan For You leaving Hulu.
That was back pre-ub**Dozie, I had all the time in the world to inform people that one of the funniest shows of all-time was leaving its streaming home, Hulu.
By the time 10 days had passed, Nathan For You was still on Hulu and I was busy telling strangers how busy I was; while seeing if anybody would ask why I was playing Christopher Cross' Grammy winning, #1 hit "Sailing" on a continuous loop?
With my mind focused on the roads and never-never land, I never followed up to tell the good news that the Streaming Gods decided to spare Nathan for You's life for the time being. We all know how quickly the internet news cycle goes, we were on to the next one like HOV. If forced hysterectomies can't stay in the public's consciousness for more than a day, poo-flavored ice cream and chili suits don't stand a chance.
Because I care about you and the well-being of society, I am going to continue to do my public service work by alerting you that this time, Nathan For You's move is as serious as lying about a doctors appointment to skip line; Nathan For You is leaving Hulu in one week for greener pastures at HBO MAX.
The move makes sense, when HBO MAX acquired South Park, it felt like only a matter of time before they got more Comedy Central content. If cord cutting has taught us anything, it's how broadcasting rights work. Next week, Nathan For You, along with the following Comedy Central programs linked in an excerpt from deadline will be available on HBO MAX.
If you're like me and use somebody else's HBO MAX, (thanks Dad!) you're in luck! You will be able to stream Nathan For You AND Chappelle's Show. Sadly, nobody ever said anything about Christopher Cross all summer long. After Mookie Betts' 13 year extension with the Dodgers, nobody saying anything about hearing "Sailing" three straight times was the biggest disappointment of my summer. In closing, you have one week to watch Nathan For You on Hulu before it shacks up with Sesame Street and Class Action Park (A #MUSTWATCH documentary). This is low key great news because HBO MAX doesn't subject users to commercials like those monsters at Hulu.
I'll be honest, I really don't feel like blogging right now. Ya boi is physically and emotionally exhausted from being Edgar Allen Poe/existence in general in 2020.
But, you make sacrifices for the ones you love and I LOVE Remember the Titans.
Twenty years ago, TODAY, Disney released Remember the Titans to the masses (even though google, wikipedia and IMDB are causing me to doubt the accuracy of this news).
I am a weirdo (history major) who remembers random dates, but I can admit I didn't exactly have this day marked on my calendar...I found out the news this morning like the rest of twitter. REGARDLESS, if it's the 23rd or 29th, Remember the Titans is my favorite movie of all-time and I'll take any excuse to talk about it. I genuinely believe it's one of the best movies of all time given its historical relevance, emotion, message and acting. Since the internet will prob be like "hAvEn'T yOu SeEn The GoDfAtHeR??" I will gladly reply "NO!" JK nobody will say anything because 14 people read this blog and 11 of them are my mom.
Everybody has certain things that hit close to home and for me Remember the Titans is that movie. I was seven years old when it came out; in many ways its responsible for shaping and developing my love of football since my parents didn't exactly push sports-fandom on me at that point in my young life. I watched a VHS of this movie no less than 300 times in backroom at my grandparent's house and once back in December.
It's a major reason why I wanted to be a football player, so if you know anything about the history of Dozo, without this movie the "Dozah" alter-ego/persona may have never been born.
In case you've never seen it, Remember the Titans tells the story of T.C. Williams High School in 1971. That's a big deal because even though Brown vs. the Board of Education decided separate but equal was anything but in 1954, Virginia (and many other stone-age states) didn't desegregate for almost 20 years.
I'm not going to give you a full book report on Remember the Titans, but what I will say is the story is super relevant in today's political climate. It's a case study in how hate is taught, not something born inside us. Everybody should watch it. If you don't have Disney+ I'll let you borrow my DVD (which was one of the first I ever owned) hashtag good guy.
*Stefon voice* This movie has everything; Gettysburg, locker-room talk, haircuts, a young Dr. Turk, male-on-male kisses, bus trips, busing, Jerry Lewis & Dean Martin impersonators, the amount of feet in a mile, denied hand-shakes, PG racial slurs, a mother saying "those tears aren't gonna make my boy walk again", NCAA Division 1 caliber football scenes, Cleveland Baseball Team giving, the devastations that come with drunk driving, single fathers, Tai Chi, corruption, John Carlos & Tommie Smith, lies about how many siblings you have and quite possibly the greatest movie soundtrack of all-time (and that doesn't even scratch the surface of great music of this era in the FILM).
I just rewatched on Disney+ out of respect for birthdays/anniversaries and will conclude this blog with some of the best scenes from this incredible movie. Go Celtics.
The internet is an awful place, full of truly terrifying things. One minute you're looking up "what was the Billboard Song of the Year for 1971?" and before you end up on "Joy to the World" by Three Dog Night's wikipedia page, you somehow have learned everything there is to know about D.B. Cooper.
From all my time on the internet, I have learned many things, but you can set your watch to these three being true, according to said internet.
1. Dogs are more important than humans.
2. Onlyfans will quickly teach you the value of a dollar better than an economics class.
3. NBA Twitter HATES the Boston Celtics like poison.
Knowing those facts are vital for navigating the inter-web successfully if you're under 35 years old. If you are ever feeling really low about yourself and need validation; just tweet about how much you love dogs or hate the Celtics and you're sure to get a handful of likes from strangers online.
I am a big believer in self-awareness. I think it's paramount for a successful life. Knowing your strengths and weaknesses in certain situations can make or break you. You don't jump in the deep end if you can't swim. You never want to be a stereotype that someone sees in the wild. FOR EXAMPLE; I'm a fat guy. Now that it's getting a little colder, I know the amount of days I have left where exposed calves are socially acceptable are dwindling. I don't want to perpetuate any stereotypes that fatties wear shorts all winter long, so I consciously avoid doing so; even if I do have killer calves from supporting the rest of my body that shouldn't have to be put in a cage for winter.
In a similar boat, since I'm a Celtics fan, I know I'm already walking on thin ice by simply existing. NBA Twitter has made thousands of people rich by bashing the C's. Paul Pierce gets more shit than a Port-A-Potty at a State Fair. The 2008 Celtics are universally hated online.
I don't want Lebron Stans to chase me with their bitchforks, so I don't bring up the fact that the Big 3 Celtics directly lead to Lebron leaving Cleveland because they still have the tr**p card. Lebron Stans will just throw Game 6 of the 2012 Eastern Conference Finals (or Game 7 of the 2018 ECF) in my face so hard that my orbital bone would shatter.
Like I was saying, you gotta be self-aware, but being aware of your surroundings may be even more important. You wouldn't play "Tubthumping" at a widows of 9/11 support group, just like you wouldn't compare Gordon Hayward returning from a month long ankle injury for Game 3 of the 2020 Eastern Conference Finals to an injured soldier coming home from war. Yet here we are.
I am not joking when I say this "meme" or whatever the fuck you want to call it set Celtics fans back GENERATIONS.
I'm shocked that post isn't a creation of Bleacher Report.
The fact that thing survived (at least) 7 hours on the internet before being taken down blows my little mind. I deleted an on-purpose ugly selfie after five minutes because people didn't understand the art behind it. This thing is just so incredibly absurd that I almost have to believe it's a parody in itself, but after looking at the Facebook Page "Celtics Nation" and the type of posts you'll find there, I can confidently say there was zero irony here.
Let's quickly break down how ridiculous this post is. We'll start from the literal top.
1. "Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing!"
Watch Vince Lombardi: A Football Life one time for me!!!
With Lombardi's recanting of that statement, the NBA's spotlight on social justice since the restart, the west coast still on fire and democracy on the brink, I think the fact that this is only a game and entertainment has never been more clear. I can almost give the creator a pass for using this quote since it's a sports page and most people don't know Lombardi's true feelings on his most famous quote.
2. Photoshopping Gordon Hayward's face onto a man in Army Fatigues IN A WHEEL CHAIR.
Even in today's chill-ass political climate, stolen valor is one of the quickest ways to end up pissing everybody off.
Unless you count his days playing tennis, Gordon Hayward has never served a day in his life. The creator of this meme not only used a picture of Gordo where he looks like Christopher McCandless' final photo..
..but (s)he also had to search the internet for the perfect parapalgic Army Vet to paste Gordo's blank stare onto atop of what appears to be a Celtics-Pelicans game from like 2016 and never stopped to think "ahh, maybe I don't need to do this?"
I don't know if this is supposed to be an homage to Paul Pierce or if someone really thinks the loudest 3/4/3/3/1 is NBA history on par with defending our nation?
One thing is clear. You should never willingly directly hand someone fuel to pour on the "this is why people hate you" fire. Celtics Nation on Facebook did just that with the most cringeworthy sports related "meme" of 2020. As a C's fan I am ashamed, this is why people hate us (totally nothing to do with the media's portrayal of Boston as the most racist city in America when the south exists). If the Celtics win Game 4, I am fully expecting to see Jaylen Brown dapping up Martin Luther King, Jr in Supreme and AirPods at the March on Washington from the Facebook Page "Celtics Nation".
Please play while reading.
I was going to watch Ted Lasso after the game regardless of its outcome, but now I'll actually get to enjoy it as the Celtics have won Game 3 of the Eastern Conference Finals. I am so fucking jazzed up right now. We have ourselves a series!
The C's lead wire-to-wire, but like the bitch seat on a cross-country flight; there would be no comfort until it was over. Going into half up 12 felt like up four knowing how this series has gone. (which prompted this basic ass tweet)
When Miami went on an 11-1 run in the third quarter every Celtics fan on this burning-planet was thinking "here we go again". Unlike the previous two games, the Celtics didn't fold like Jimmy Fallon at Jeffries.
Instead, the Celtics went on a little run of their own. Most importantly tonight they played like a TEAM!!! They were cutting and passing and showing heart! It was sick. Not too much standing around while Tatum dribbles for 12 seconds which is always appreciated. I love what Jaylen had to say post-game. Keep going to the hoop.
The Celts had 27 assists on 41 made FGs. Jaylen, Jayson, Kemba and Marcus all scored at least 20 points. Gordo finally returned after injuring his ankle way back in Game 1 of the first round and was solid AF.
Grant Williams has turned into the Celtics splash brother in limited minutes and I still fucking hate Duncan Robinson. (lol @ this tweet getting 15 likes; twitter makes zero sense)
IMO the best sequence of the night was when Jaylen threw a touchdown to Jayson and then Jayson returned the favor.
But what matters is the Celtics played a full 48 minutes (even though they did the best they could really make us sweat it out late). We can laugh about Marcus shooting with like 15 seconds left on the shot clock in the final minute now, but at the moment it was not funny whatsoever with how careless the C's played in G1 & G2. I guess whatever these gentlemen told each other in the locker-room after Game 2 worked. It's now after midnight. I need to be well rested to steal lessons from the internet for class Monday before a full day of football. Of course my inner pessimist is still pissed about the blown opportunities in Games 1 and 2, but you can't do anything about the blown games now. They'll make a great eight minute segment on the championship DVD. "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger"- Kelly Clarkson.
C's are gonna just have to find a way to win at home. We know they're the road warriors these playoffs. Besides, going down 2-0 may have been a good strategy based on recent history.
P.S. Game 4 being Wednesday is HUGGEEE for the C's. Let Gordo heal up. WE HAVE OURSELVES A SERIES. Time for Ted Lasso. Goodnight.
I've been trying to figure out how to open this blog for a solid 20 minutes. Ya boi is just a mess rn, but the blogs must go on! (#HireDozo) At least the C's lack of heart has distracted my brain from constantly thinking about how the Red Sox willingly traded away Mookie Betts. Oh, fuck...
There's simply too much to unwrap and I am too goT damn tired after my first week teaching to pour my heart and soul into dissecting how and why the Celtics are down 0-2 despite holding a 14 point FOURTH QUARTER lead in Game 1 and a 17 point lead in Game 2. I'm a pseudo-analytics guy when it comes to basketball, but I can confidently tell you this is not good.
I am feeling so many emotions that need to get out, but I also feel pressure (from myself) for every blog to be quality. DOL isn't some rib-meat and gizzards bashed into a chicken nugget. I strive for grade A quality white meat posts. Every stroke of my keyboard could be a one that gets me noticed. It totally doesn't exacerbate my anxiety at all!
But, like sorry bro/girl-bro, I am BIG SAD that the Celtics blew yet another substantial lead. I burned five minutes of every class today bitching about it to 7th graders on zoom. I had to talk to somebody!
It'd be a completely different story if the C's were down 0-2 and just getting manhandled from the opening tip; like in 2017. Not so deep down we all knew they had no chance against the Cavs. They almost lost in the first round to an 8 seed for Jah's sake. That was just a "happy to be there moment" for this franchise that would never admit such. Of course, I'd be lying if I said Avery Bradley's game winner in Cleveland didn't give me a few ounces of false hope.
I'm not someone crying about sports and politics colliding because it ruins "the escape" that sports provide. I'm a good person and care about humanity improving more than the NBA.
That being said; with Covid, America on fire, fascism on the brink, billionaires being a thing, a v fucked up family dynamic, being a high key binge-boi, being born with a sub-par wein, a crumbling social life and working in a petri dish, yeah the Celtics have been an escape for me. I am what you call emotionally invested in this team's success. When you have a legitimate chance at a championship and give not one, but two games away in the Eastern Conference Finals it's fucking devastating.
How does this keep happening? I know the series isn't over until someone wins four games, but I mean are the C's really going to be able to win six games in a second straight series?
We can blame Brad for being the new age parent who never yells (or motivates his team) or the players for being less fundamentally sound than a JCC team; I mean how do you not know how to beat a zone as professionals? 20 fucking turnovers???
You can scream and yell all you want; like the players did post-game.
I am simply posing the question "Are the Celtics disgusting, inexcusable collapses simply Boston sports reaching equilibrium?"
I'm almost positive that I'm using equilibrium correctly.
Collectively, Boston/New England professional franchises have won 12 championships since 2001; by far the most successful sports city in America this century. All four major teams have at least one championship, but the Celtics and Bruins have each only won one championship during that run. The Celtics have appeared in the NBA Finals only twice since 1987; winning once in 2008 and losing Game 7 in 2010. They're essentially the Kansas City Royals when it comes to championships the last 30 years. Of course that's better than most professional teams, but it's not like the C's have been a dynasty my whole life.
What I (and all other Boston sports fans) have experienced the last 20ish years is countless incredible postseason comebacks. Off the top of my head we have witnessed the 2004 Red Sox 0-3 comeback in the ALCS against the Yankees, Bruins-Leafs Game 7 2013, Super Bowl XLIX and Super Bowl LI. Any one of those moments is more impressive than anything a San Diego, Minnesota or Buffalo sports fan has seen in their lifetime.
Sir Issac Newton's third law of physics; which we all know by heart is "every action has its equal and opposite reaction". Are the Celtics two disgusting choke jobs just the universe leveling things out? I mean the Red Sox came back from a 3-0 hole against the Yankees then six years later the Bruins blew a 3-0 series lead of their own. Kind of like a karmic payback if you will? We still really haven't had to pay the sports God's back yet for 28-3. Part of me wants to say you could say the horrible officiating against the Eagles in Super Bowl LII was our karmic tax, but I mean the Pats followed that up by winning another Super Bowl. Like Lieutenant Dan that argument has...
When I saw this stat (that I know I already attached earlier in the blog) the first thing I thought of was Super Bowl LI.
Again, the series isn't over.
But after dropping that 0-3 Red Sox comeback/3-0 Bruins collapse stat on you isn't it kind of weird to see Boston's other two teams partake in a similar comeback/collapse fashion? Now, of course the 28-3 choke is much more impressive/historically important than blowing a 14 point 4th quarter lead, but when you parlay it with game two; losing two straight playoff games where your win probability was over 94% there is an argument to be made it's worse since it's happening over multiple days. The Falcons collapse was like less than 90 minutes of real time.
Should the Celtics go on to lose this series these two blown games will be all everybody remembers. I can respect that they have a lot on their mind's right now; trust me. But to follow up Game 1 with an even worse collapse...bruh.
I'm not saying the Celtics are dead, but I think I can hear "Truth Hurts". Let's hope my stupid theory is wrong and the Celtics make it a series Saturday night (possibly with Gordo?).
We're like 19 hours post-block/disgusting Celtics collapse and I still can't believe that this..
Oh you want a fantastic analogy that got absolutely no love? I gotchu!
Look at ya boi already having this photo saved to his laptop from a blog about Bill Belichick on August, 26th.
Before I go any further, speaking of the greatest coach in the history of sports; R.I.P. Jeannette Belichick. Dozonlife expresses its deepest condolences to the Belichick family.
If that picture isn't a perfect encapsulation of post-World War II suburbia then I don't know what is. The other 1.5 Belichick children and white picket fence must be out of frame.
As for my Jayson Tatum prediction that was 20 points too ambitious, my bad for believing in the power of a father wanting to impress his first born. I guess having an All-NBA performer as poppa just isn't as entertaining as Peppa Pig :(
That's right, Jayson Tatum and the Celtics were at the forefront of one of the most inexcusable playoffs defeats of all-time.
After starting the playoff 6-0 the C's have dropped four of their last six. One game isn't the end of the world, but I am capital V worried after the Celtics gave yet another game away in the playoffs. They basically won six games against the Raptors and barely got out of that series alive. I don't see that happening again here against Miami and a coach who actually runs plays (sorry for the ricochet Mr. Stevens).
After the game I caught like 10 minutes of the Clippers collapse before I ended up falling asleep to The Last Dance on Netflix. I just so happened to be watching the episode that addressed the 1988-89 Chicago Bulls playoff run. Those Bulls won Game 1 of Eastern Conference Finals (and actually held a 2-1 series lead) before losing the series in six to the Detroit Pistons. Just two years ago the Celtics were up 2-0 in the ECF and lost in seven. My point is a 1-0 hole is far from insurmountable. I'm sure there are plenty examples from between 1989 and 2018 as well. (Like the 05-06 Phoenix Suns who won Game 1 of the WCF before losing to the Mavs in 6)
But it's not all bad in this blog! Like I said in the parenthesis that you may have missed in the title; Jayson Tatum earned an All-NBA selection this season, as announced today by the NBA.
At only 19 + 3 years old, Jayson Tatum is the youngest player in the history of the Boston Celtics to earn an All-NBA selection. Tatum was 22 years and 163 days old when the regular season ended. He surpassed household name Ed Maccauley's previous record of 22 years and 361 days old (which is kinda cool if you're into numbers like me) when he earned First-Team All NBA Honors in 1950-51. There was no Third-Team All NBA back then in the wake of World War II, while starring Korea in the eyes, but those bastards had six guys make the first team in 1951-52 so you tell me who's responsible for participation awards?
In all seriousness, despite dropping an impressive stat line of 30/14/5 our boy Jayson did not play super-well down the stretch. Like many people, I believe he is a superstar in the making and future face of the Boston Celtics. At 22 he's already playing in his second conference finals, but to take that next step he needs to play better in the clutch. I loathe Nick Wright, but there isn't much of a rebuttable to this.
A true superstar bounces back after a rough night. It's probably unfair to call Tatum's night rough after he put up this line.
But I mean the poor shot selection and lack of production late is going to be what everybody remembers. When I told my roommate that Tatum scored 30 he told he would've guessed 17. Jayson is hardly the only man to blame for last night's collapse, but I didn't predict any of them would drop 50 so of course I have to face the music and follow up. Will he and C's fold after letting one slip away or fight back to even the series at one going back to Orlando? We'll know Thursday night.
I fucking love Jayson Tatum and don't want to see him play elsewhere...He's unreal.
When you love someone you can poke fun at their expense while still having their back 100%.
Who the fuck is Nick Wright trying to hold Tatum's final shot of the game against him??? The fact that he even get a decent look off after falling to the ground with the clock running out is incredible. Had he made that it would've become the greatest bounce back after rejection since whatever potential reference would personally hit closest to home for you.
I am not going to attempt to put myself into the brain of a man who doesn't believe in apostrophes, but I know a thing or two about human psychology from a class I got a C- in nine years ago.
Jayson Tatum is on the record for loving his son. Not only is he happier because he gets to see him face-to-face for the first time in over two months, but the joy and happiness he's feeling will likely cause him to be more productive tonight due to the relief of holding a human he helped create. Definitely beats night reads.
Now, I'm not a father or NBA baller, but I once bowled a strike when a free $25 gift card to a restaurant that chick I had a huge crush on worked at; so I know a thing or two about motivation. Sure, she ultimately denied me more times than the Son of Sam's parole board, but in the moment, when I knew I had a chance to win an excuse to go see her at work I turned 2004 David Ortiz clutch. You don't think Jayson Tatum's jumper is gonna a tad bit wetter with Deuce in the crowd?
Again, I took PSY 101 in the fall of 2011. Jayson Tatum is both intrinsically and extrinsically motivated to perform well regardless of who's in the bubble, he definitely wants to play well and win eight more games to help earn more money to provide a great life for himself and his firstborn. I think leading the C's to a championship during a pandemic at only 22 would constitute a max deal? I'm not saying the Celtics win the East (they will), but Jayson Tatum is going to be extra motivated to go off with Deuce in the crowd. A 50 burger wouldn't shock me. Go Celtics!
For the love of Chuck Norris and bacon, please listen to the six foot, 26 year old in this EPIC video. YOoooOooooOLllllLLLLLLooooooOooOOooO!!!!
Real talk peeps, that dude who fucked his ex step-sister in Clueless is right, wear a mask.
Now that I've hit my quota of talking like a certified millennial, I must tip my proverbial internet cap to Paul Rudd and whoever wrote this video. Bravo! The cringeworthy mistakes are peppered in magnificently and would make Drunk Uncle proud. I was going to say "even if you're a person/moron who doesn't believe masks help stop the spread of COVID-19, you gotta be able to appreciate the humor here" but we both know they won't understand it.
Paul's giving off serious John Mayer "New Light" vibes in this PSA/meme presented by the state of New York.
One of my best friends is a Bengals fan. When you parlay that with the fact they've never been a legitimate threat to the Patriots AND my status of a hashtag good guy; I root for them to do well.
Like most people, I fuck with Joe Burrow. He's a stud and v hard to dislike. I genuinely want to see him turn that franchise around for the good people of Cincinnati. It totally has nothing to do with a bet I made on instagram that nobody remembers.
In his debut, Joe made a few plays. If you had 23 yard QB-draw for the Heisman winner's first NFL TD, you may cash your ticket.
Despite showing off the wheels, Burrow looked like a rookie making his NFL debut. Trailing by three in the 4th quarter, with the Bengals arguably already in field goal range, Burrow made a decision that will give football coaches nightmares. While you can appreciate Joe's tenacity and fight; sometimes you have to just live for another down. Especially at that point in the game. Inexcusable turnover on FIRST DOWN.
Despite (one of my all time favorite blog words) the pick and zero remaining time outs (how tf does that happen with over 5:00 left to play?) the Bengals defense was able to get Burrow the ball back with time for a potential game-tying/winning drive.
In one of the most Bengals sequences of events ever, they went from a potential game-winning TD..
..to flat out losing the game in like 47 seconds of real time.
Before he missed the potential game-tying field goal, Bullock had converted from 50 and 43 yards respectively. So he looked good up to that point (even though I did not see those kicks in real time and have no idea how they looked; makes are makes).
I know this is an elementary-ass school of thought, but it always blows my mind to see kicker stat-lines where the misses are significantly shorter than makes. I know pros aren't perfect, but it blows my GD mind.
31 yards in the NFL constitutes a chip shot. Carli Lloyd banged that with ease at like eight different training camps last year. It's six feet shorter than an extra point. Perhaps Randy just doesn't have a clutch gene?
After "injuring" his leg on the attempt, the Bengals reportedly aren't concerned about a long-term injury.
You read that correctly, both calves. I'm surprised he didn't throw on a neck brace in the locker room for good measure.
In almost a fluid motion, Randy Bullock went from swinging his leg to grabbing for it. It's hard to break it down frame-by-frame and get a good look at how quickly Randy grabs for his right (or maybe left??) leg because the score bug blocks out the magic bullet moment.
Luckily, there are plenty of twitter detectives to do the work for me.
Gun to my head I'm going he faked it. I've seen someone fake it before. I get being forgetful. My stoner brain forgets stuff all the time. I got a splinter a couple weeks ago and even though it's healed, I totally remember what finger it was on. And that's only a 10% chance of being right while guessing. Know you blows 50/50 chances at grabbing the leg they "injured"? People who are lying.
Cam Newton Rushed For More Yards Yesterday Than Tom Brady Did in 13 of His 18 Seasons As The Patriots Starting QB
Even though they both play the quarterback position, Tom Brady and Cam Newton do not have similar skill sets, but as animal abusers say "there's more than one way to skin a cat".
Brady's career completion % is 63.8; Cam's is sub-60 at at 59.7%. It took Tom Brady until his 19th season (2018) to amass 1,000 career rushing yards; Cam did in less than a season and a half.
Despite a victory in his Patriot debut, I'm not about to be some lunatic who thinks Cam Newton is all of a sudden the best QB in the NFL or that his accomplishments in one game erase the career and accomplishments of the greatest QB to ever play the game. The dude threw the ball 19 times yesterday; 15-19 for 155 yards. Although, none of his incompletions were crazy overthrows or miscommunications.
A N'Keal Harry fumble made the game appear much closer than it truly was, but as Bill Belichick has said 50 million times "it's hard to win in the NFL". I think this was a great sign for week one. Every other QB making his first start with a new team lost. While the passing game might've not been super exciting; what Cam accomplished on the ground was.
Like the final song of Co-Op: The Musical, things are going up in New England.
With the exception of one (1) Jacoby Brissett start against the Texans in 2016, we've (Patriot fans born after Steve Grogan's peak of 1976-1980) never seen a Patriots QB run like this before.
Now I'm not saying this was like the ending of the Sixth Sense in terms of shock (haven't even seen it, but I know pop culture!), but knowing Cam only (not in a bad way, I'll take it all fucking day) ran for 75 yards yesterday I found this stat surprising.
I did love seeing Brady run the ball during his time here, but I guess it happened way less frequently than I remember. In 2001, '03, '04, '09, '10 and '12-'19 Tom Brady did not surpass the 75 yard mark for the season. Fun Fact: Cam Newton now has 10 NFL starts with 75 or more rushing yards (three 100+ games).
Tom Brady finished his Patriot career averaging a whopping 4.69 (nice) rushing yards a game; Cam averages 5.1 yard/carry.
Now if Cam can just get 16.6666666666666666666666666666666% of Brady's rings.