A few hours have passed (it's currently 3:25 am), and I banged out a solid dozen ubah rides since that fateful shot, but holy fucking shiiiiitttt, I am still buzzing. LET'S GO CELTICS!!!!
The Boston Celtics are still very much alive and, frankly, may have driven the final stake through Miami's hearts thanks to Derrick White's heads-up put-back that JUST beat the buzzer. Talk about going from the lowest of lows (thinking we lost and that this fun comeback was over) to the highest of highs (HOLY FUCKING SHIT HE GOT IT OFF IN TIME AND WE WON!!!!!).
AL SAID GET THE FUCK OUT!!!!!
Thank the fucking Lord (I'm a low-key God guy, but it's a big-time FUCK CHRISTIAN NATIONALISTS) that Derrick hit that shot because I was 3.0 seconds away from needing someone to identify my body from Narragansett Bay. lol jk. But seriously, that game was terrifying. The Dr. nearly called it, we nearly flatlined, but the C's heart began beating again thanks to D-White.
Tbh, I never felt safe until late in the 4th when one of those "oh shit, they might actually do this" low-key intrusive thoughts came into my mind. Of course, that's when the wheels nearly fell off. I'm gonna try and be quick cause it's basically 4 am, and I'm beat (but still amped). I need to rewatch the highlights, but I just had to get something out before bed for the loyal DOL readers!! I don't remember everything; it was a blur and like 29 different emotions at once. All that matters is we won.
A passenger asked me in the afternoon if I liked Celtics -3, and I told him idgaf if they cover; I just want them to win, and they fucking did!!! (I still can't believe it) I love to gamble, but that's why I only take my teams' ML when they're a dog (unless it's in a parlay). I don't give a FUCKKKKKK about covering, bro. That doesn't hang banners. We're not the Colts.
S/O to our defense for fueling this comeback. The C's D has been the difference these past three games. After allowing 121 ppg in Games 1-3, they've allowed just 99.666666repeating ppg in Games 4-6. Weird analogy Marcus, but I feel you my guy. It beats saying "we're just like you, we procrastinate and work better under pressure."
I'll openly admit we got away with some brutal lapses late. Duncan Robinson had two fantastic looks and just missed (thanks, guy). Jimmy Butler was ass until the 4th (and got bailed out by the refs). Bam was dreadful. If it weren't for the Heat's 3-point shooting and all the undrafted guys, the C's would've rolled.
We got away with one; there were serious shades of last year's Game 7, but I'm not apologizing to anybody. We won! That's literally all that matters. The C's clawed their way back from the brink, and now there's a Game 7 at the Garden on Monday. Who honestly thought that would happen? After falling behind 3-0, plenty of people counted the C's out. I was fucking bummed and upset, but I didn't give up (you can see plenty of proof in the blogs I wrote last week). 
The step-coach might've won me back. Yes, this group is resilient AF. Thank God they chose to believe in each other.
It's now 4:15 am, and that's all I've got. I'll blog more before Game 7, but I need to get to bed at a decent hour.
Let's fucking GOOOOO C's!!!!! I am trying to convince my dad to come from Florida (ew) to go to Game 7. As Drake said, "Yolo." You can't take it with you. If you think my dad should come to see me for the first time since September and make an incredible memory watching the C's pull off the greatest comeback in NBA history, PLEASE SOUND OFF IN THE COMMENTS!
P.S.
I've been saying for the last 48 hours (or whatever it is) that if the C's win Game 6, they're winning Game 7, and literally just basically called it in this blog's final paragraph, but we (mainly the Celtics) cannot have that mindset. You'd think losing like that at home would be the final death shot for the Heat, but I am not counting them out. Jimmy Butler in Game 7 is a scary concept, especially coming from a stinker. This is only the 4th time in NBA history a series has even reached Game 7 after a team went up 3-0, and Heat culture is no joke...the C's have to come out ready to go and not think this series is over. Don't play with your food, C's...fucking swallow it. I don't want Derrick White's buzzer-beater to become a Carlton Fisk moment. Sure, it's iconic, but if you don't win the series...who fucking cares? It's like Lebron's game-winner in the 2009 ECF. The Cavs lost the series. That moment doesn't matter. I believe in these guys, and even if my daddy doesn't drive up from Florida (please tell him to in the comments), I still might go to the game, but we cannot get comfortable just getting to this point. We gotta finish the job. In 2020, the Rays went up 3-0 in the ALCS, lost three straight, then won Game 7. I know it's baseball and covid bubble baseball at that, so it doesn't quite compare, BUT there's a recent president of a Florida (ew) pro sports team winning a series in 7 that they once lead 3-0. Luckily for the C's, this Game 7 is at the Garden. #BLEEDGREEN
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Song: Destroyer (2023) Artist: Cobra Man Album: New Paradise I (EP) It's currently 3:09 am and I'm writing this on the toilet before I've even selected today's SOD. Ya boi jhust got home from ubin and what an incredible night. LET'S GO CELTICS!!!!!!!!! I still cannot believe it---what an emotional rollercoaster. Please build Derrick White a statue now @Celtics. I am so fucking happy, but the job's not finished yet!!! As for the song itself...I legit listened to this EP double digit times today. It's only 17 minutes so it's not that hard (just like me)! Cobra Man should be massive!! P.S. The synth line reminds me of a song from Home Alone 3. I don't remember/know its name, but as a pro's pro amateur blogger, I'm still gonna find it and include it for you to compare. Oh shit! It's by Oingo Boingo. I've heard of those guys! Double P.S.
Ya boi is going all out for a blog that will likely not be seen by any other humans (prove me wrong!!!!). Here's the scene I'm talking about. Wow the publisher is a loser and blocked playback on other websites, so click HERE if you've made it this far and are curious as to wtf I'm talking about this late (it's now 3:51. I went back and added this after starting my C's blog) 
I AM FIRED THE FUCK UPPPPPPP!!!!
LET'S GO CELTICS!!!!
Big time facts from my future boss! #HireDozo
The C's set the tone from the start. Marcus got on the parquet early, stole the rock, and Jayson threw it the fuck down to get the Garden a-rockin'. The ​Boston Celtics cruised to a 13-point win (where they led by as many as 24, and it was never in doubt). 36 was OUTSTANDING tonight.
I agree with everything Grant said!!!!
The deed is far from done, but man, does it feel fucking fantastic to be **Eddie Vedder voice** aliveeeeeee still. We're halfway to the greatest comeback in NBA history.
After looking like the real 8 seed through three games, the Celtics woke up and remembered they're one of (if not) the best teams in the NBA. It's easier said than done, but the formula is pretty simple. Hit your open shots and play the elite defense you've been known for the last half-decade.
They've forced 16 turnovers and held Miami under 100 in each win. Dudes were on the floor all night. It's a little frustrating that it took being on death's doorstep for the Celts to play to their potential, but tonight they wanted it more. Now we're going to Miami for Game 6, where the C's are more than comfortable. The Celtics have won 4 of their last 5 playoff games in Miami, including an Eastern Conference clinching Game 7 last season.​
​The Heat are far from dead and technically still in the driver's seat (but the seatbelt is unbuckled, and the C's are yanking them out of the car). They've shown all playoffs that they're much better than their 44 wins would tell you, but as a Celtics fan, you gotta feel good rn. Even if they lose this series, you can take pride in them not rolling over and giving up when they looked down and out.
Derrick White was feeeeeelin' it from a distance, hitting 6/8 in a team-high 24-point effort.
Jayson was hot in the first to keep things going, but every starter chowed tonight.
This isn't exactly the most earth-shattering take, but Game 6 is Game 7 for Miami. Even though we've struggled at home, if this series gets back to Boston, there's no way we aren't sealing the deal (although it would be the most Heat shit to win in 7...but we're not manifesting those vibes...the C's are doing this!!!).
As you've likely heard a thousand times this week, no team in NBA history has ever come back from a 3-0 deficit. The Celtics already made it further than 136 of the 150 teams that have fallen down 3-0 in a seven game series. Only three forced a Game 7. The C's can add themselves to that list with a win Saturday night. 
150-0 sure feels like the right time to break this streak. It's a nice round number. So in the future people can say your odds of coming back 3-0 are 150:1. If anybody's gonna do it...it's this Celtics team. The perfect storm is brewin': the better yet underperforming team went down 3-0; they have home court, so Game 7 is at home; Miami is the 8 seed (sure, they've been rolling, but are still an 8 seed...they weren't that good this year); Vibes---Boston already has the most famous 3-0 come back in American sports history, AND it's the Boston Celtics, one of the NBA's premiere franchises...it just makes sense that they'd be the ones to make history.​
Unfortunately, Malcolm's injury sounds serious. While he was briefly on the floor tonight, he looked terrible. I feel bad shitting on him before I knew he was hurt, but it seems like he's dealing with an injury that significantly hampers his play. He missed multiple bunnies last game. Trying to battle through it in the playoffs is admirable, but doing so might be worse for the team.
Back to good vibes. The fucking C's, man. We can do this. I thoroughly believe they can do this. I'm a narrative guy, and this is such a good story that you couldn't write it because the writers are on strike #WGAstrong. ​LOL
Sure, that quote is kind of fucking crazy, but I've realized...so is Joe. I've been hard (to say the least) on the coach who STEPPED UP the last few weeks, but I love this perspective from a dude who graduated from a high school a few miles away from my spot.
OH HOW THE TURNS TABLE, JIMOTHY!!!
I'm so proud of these guys for playing like a TEAM and showing the heart we've been dying to see. It was such an awesome game. Wire-to-wire win to really put some pressure on the Heat. They better beat us on Saturday, cause if they don't Monday is gonna be ROUGH. #BLEEDGREEN
P.S.
I think Ime's proud too.
The season 48 finale of SNL would've been last Saturday. Thanks to scumbags who'd rather lose millions than pay writers what they're worth, the season ended three episodes earlier than initially anticipated.
— SARAH SQUIRM (@SarahSquirm) May 20, 2023
Throughout the WGA strike, plenty of cast members (both past & present) have been out supporting the writers who make this staple of American pop culture possible.
— SARAH SQUIRM (@SarahSquirm) May 5, 2023 
I've been an SNL guy since my late single digits. It's one of my go-to background shows when I play Madden/2K. After returning from ub**in, I almost always watch the latest episode before bed. People have said SNL's not good anymore for, like.. 47 years, but that is simply not the case. Some casts are for sure better than others, and not every skit is a home run. However, this "rebuilding year' that saw multiple staples of the past decade move on was actually one of the better seasons in recent memory.
I've been curating this list over the past few days and surely forgot some sketches that killed me at the moment, but I wanted to share some of them with the loyal DOL readers in hopes of spreading some laughter. Since I'm not a huge ranking art guy (even though I do it all the time), I will post the sketches chronologically (at least by episode). For the sake of variety, I'm trying not to be oversaturated; I could easily include every James Austin Johnson Trump impersonation because he's so fucking good at them, and they're always hilarious. Let's look back at the best of SNL48 (according to Ole Dozo)!!!
"ManningCast Cold Open"
Episode 1: Miles Teller & Kendrick Lamar
I loved the self-awareness of this sketch + Jon Hamm is my fucking GUY. Miles Teller did a solid Peyton Manning; the analysis of the cast was outstanding; I loved his lines about Bowen. This bit was a fantastic opening to the season, even if the corn kid reference already feels ancient and outdated.
"Caribbean Queens"
Episode 1: Miles Teller & Kendrick Lamar
1. If you don't LOVE "Caribbean Queen" by Billy Ocean, I feel bad for you. That song will bump until the end of time.
2. I love Ego & Heidi. Their duo of middle-ages, shorts losing, terrible tippers was hilarious (and hot). 3. Heidi knocked the delivery of "well hook a girl up" out of the park. 4. They'd both give me a hardy.
"Try Guys"
Episode 2: Brandon Gleeson and Willow
IMO, this was one of the weakest episodes of the season (along with Woody's, which pains me to admit). I don't think Brandon Gleeson did a good job, but this parody of the Try Guy's over-the-top reaction to one of their members kissing someone who wasn't his wife was funny to someone like me who didn't know who the fuck these squids were until this week.
Weekend Update: Black Ariel
Episode 2: Brandon Gleeson & Willow
Just call her Ariel. Surely, I'm swayed by Ego in the mermaid costume, but my girl crushes it here. Her takes and reveals as Ariel are fucking hysterical.
Please Don't Destroy presents Wellness
Episode 3: Megan Thee Stallion
I've loved the addition of the Please Don't Destroy guys the last two seasons. They rarely miss, but this video killed me, especially the cigarette gym part.
Weekend Update: Drunk Uncle on Why He Hates Halloween
Episode 4: Jack Harlow
I too learned a lot during the Pandemimoore and am a sucker for former cast members making appearances (as we'll see throughout the list). It was nice to get an updated look at Drunk Uncle; his quiet-quitting bit was fantastic. Can you Minecraft my Metaverse please?
DONDA!!?!?!?!?!
"David Pumpkins Returns"
Episode 4: Jack Harlow
While it wasn't quite as good as the original (Jack Harlow can't act), it was still a solid callback to a recent classic. Any questions?
I've got one: who doesn't love Tom Hanks...and if so why? What happened to you?
"Covid Commercial"
Episode 5: Amy Shumer & Steve Lacy
SNL's been parodying commercials since the beginning, so it's no surprise they'd take on the big C. Sup, J6 Sarah?
"House of the Dragon"
Episode 6: Dave Chappelle & Black Star
I was a tad disappointed in the Dave Chapelle episode. I expected more from one of the top 2 living stand-ups (Chris Rock being the other). I'm 31, which means I was in middle school during Chappelle's Show, so of course, it was a significant part of my human development. As a nostalgic mother fucker, I loved seeing some of the show's greatest hits...even if I'm NOT and will likely NEVER be a Game of Thrones guy.
Weekend Update: Sarah News
Episode 6: Dave Chappelle & Black Star
Sarah is arguably my favorite cast member. I love her style of comedy and what she brings to the show. She has an extraordinary dynamic/chemistry with Colin, and I'm gonna stop here before this turns into a Sarah Squirm love letter. Wooooahhhh, Pennsylvania!
"Hello Kitty"
Episode 7: Keke Palmer & SZA
"Hello Kitty" was chaotic af in the best way possible. It reminds me of the most evil invention skit; like how the fuck does this turn into an ad for New York? What a rabbit/bunny/actually a little girl/hole...wait a second...Keke & Bowen crush it, and Sarah normal looks sexy AF. YOU'RE TELLING ME SHE'S A 48-YEAR-OLD THIRD GRADER WHO'S CLAPPING CHEEKS BAREBACK???? Now let's go see the Yankees on Broadway at MSG!
"Kenan & Kelly"
Episode 7: Keke Palmer & SZA
As previously stated, I've got a spot for nostalgia. It was great to see that Rigby's survived the Pandemimoore AND that Kel is still alive because back in like 2007, there were serious rumors that he wasn't! THERE GOES THE BUSSSSS
"Big Boys"
Episode 7: Keke Palmer & SZA
I love musical sketches, and this is a certified banger with an important message. You may think I'm biased as a big boy, but this shit slaps (like a big man's rolls when he's clapped it right!). Fat guys try really hard, even if their bodies aren't!
​Cecily will be missed (I still don't really get why she left mid-season...did she know the strike was coming and wanted an official good-bye moment?) but I'm glad she was a part of this winter wonderjam before leaving as the longest tenured woman cast member in SNL history.
Please Don't Destroy- Chelsea
Episode 9: Steve Martin + Martin Short & Brandi Carlile
This video is simply a masterclass in cringe comedy (with superb editing!). It continuously dives deeper into the bizarre—s/o Sarah Sherman's real dad.
"A Christmas Carol"
Episode 9: Steve Martin + Martin Short & Brandi Carlile
This sketch has Sarah Squirm's fingerprints (and internal organs) all over it! Honorable mention for the Maury parody sketch, Pinky or some shit.
"NFL on Fox Cold Open"
Episode 10: Aubrey Plaza & Sam Smith
I've given you guys a lot to watch and read, so I'll keep this one short: Bowen's George Santos was hysterical. Congrats on the tightest tuck award.
Weekend Update: April Ludgate and Leslie Knope
Episode 10: Aubrey Plaza & Sam Smith
I wish we got more of Amy/Leslie. But like I said earlier....I love when cast members return and am a sucker for nostalgia, so obvi seeing Amy Poehler back on Update as Leslie Knope was fucking awesome. She looked so happy and beautiful. Her line about Seth Myers crushed. Amy Poehler is an icon and I love her. New England girl, too!
"HIV Commercial"
Episode 10: Aubrey Plaza & Sam Smith
If I was ranking art in this blog, this is in my top 5 skits of the season. I recently saw an HIV commercial where they really said something about "containing a lot of medicines," which retroactively made this sketch even funnier. Devon Walker shines (no cap), and Mikey Day's lousy dancing is better than my actual moves. It's such a funny concept and was executed quite well. Be careful playing basketball this summer; you don't want to catch AIDS the same way Magic Johnson did!
"King Brothers Toyota"
Episode 11: Michael B. Jordan & Lil Baby
Gun to my head, this is my favorite sketch of the season and maybe the best overall episode (it's between this and Pedro's IMO). The writing, the delivery, the concept...all brilliant. Some may even call it a fun house mirror held up to the American dream, but idk about all that,,,just that sales warrior in Christ Brian Pattmore saves the day for the King Brothers in this zany parody of a car dealership commercial.
"Party in Palm Springs"
Episode 11: Michael B. Jordan & Lil Baby
Everybody in this skit fucking kills it, which is ironic since it ends by bringing new life to the world. Sarah's wig & eye makeup is sexy, and Punkie's titty meat be POPPIN'. Heidi's Galaxy (perfect phone for her character) charger is hysterically long. It's just such an awkward mess. What a journey. BITCH WHERE YOU GETTIN' PEANUT BUTTER??
"Wing Pit"
Episode 12: Pedro Pascal & Coldplay
Nobody does over-the-top commercials like SNL. Heidi's irritating voice/persona and the intentionally awful dialogue between people at the party are a perfect homage to these type of ads. That's something we can both agree on.
Weekend Update: Punxsutawney Phil
Episode 12: Pedro Pascal & Coldplay
Michael Longfellow showed plenty of promise this season (especially with his update characters/playing himself), but this a little too real look at groundhog day/life in general is some of his best work. The beaver line was expected by people like me but still lol funny.
Weekend Update: Milly Pounds and Shirty
Episode 12: Pedro Pascal & Coldplay
Weekend Update crushed it all season per usual, but of all the weird characters and appearances, my favorite was Milly Pounds and Shirty. James Austin Johnson is the most talented person on the show and Devon Walker was IMO the strongest rookie. It's wild JAJ is still technically a featured player when he carries the show like Jan Wouters.
No exaggeration; I've seen this skit 50+ times and it still makes me laugh. Hopefully, this was not the last we see of these two....I'm allergic to dairy.
"Lisa From Temecula"
Episode 12: Pedro Pascal & Coldplay
If SNL gave out an MVP award every season, Ego could've easily won it for season 48. I know moments ago I said that "King Brothers Toyota" was my favorite sketch of the year, but it'll have to be tied with Lisa because this shit is laugh out loud funny and borderline perfect (Pedro's delivery kinda annoys me..but that may be intentional).
At first, I was like really? We were getting back to back restaurant skits; this is so fucking lazy. But to their credit, this skit is phenomenal. Lisa from Temecula is probably the signature sketch of the season and deservingly so. It's soooo fucking funny. Everybody breaks, even the background actors. The look on Bowen's face after Ego says "cause we black?" is priceless. You'll be hard pressed to find a better sketch from SNL48. "Bitch, we the youngest of six girls," was another well executed line. The only thing that could've made this funnier is more spilled drinks.
Various Weekend Update Bits
Episode 13: Woody Harrelson & Jack White
I love Woody, but this episode was not very good. Weekend Update did the heavy lifting. Foul on Davis.
p.s. Heidi...I would if I could!
Weekend Update: Sarah's News (Birthday Edition)
Episode 14: Travis Kelce & Kelsea Ballerini
Okay maybe I lied about over-saturation, but Sarah genuinely murders it (in a good way) here. The cake (and how she handled it) was so cute.
"NFL Gives Back" **cut for time**
Episode 14: Travis Kelce & Kelsea Ballerini
Some of SNL's funniest sketches end up getting cut for time and finding a second life on Youtube. While I wouldn't call this the funniest sketch of all time, it would've been the best of Travis Kelce's episode had it made it to air.
Honestly, the American Girl Doll and night club sketches were solid too, but this blog is already long enough. Just figured I'd give them a quick s/o while I do a quick read through.
"The Parent Trap"
Episode 15: Jenna Ortega & The 1975
I didn't watch Wednesday, so I didn't realize at the time that Fred Armisen's in it with Jenna Ortega (never heard of her before this show). Fred is one of my all-time favorite cast members, so I was pumped to see him in the monologue and obviously this sketch. He fucking kills it. His timing is as good as ever. Even though he's got a full head of hair in this bit, he sorta reminded me of Rodger Brush. If there were an Olympic podium for SNL48 sketches, this would get the Bronze.
P.S. The 1975 were the best musical guest of the season.
"Weekend Update: James Austin Johnson's Random Celebrity Impressions"
Episode 15: Jenna Ortega & The 1975
It really is between Ego and JAJ for SNL48 MVP, in a rare appearance simply playing himself, JAJ shows off some of his gifted impressions. The Trump Negroni bit may be his best work. The way he says it's a three ingredient drink is spot-fucking-on. I hope James Austin Johnson serves a decade at 30 Rock.
Also, Colin and Che killed it all season. I'm just too lazy to rake through all their jokes to single out a few for this already super long blog. It's currently 7:48! I need to finish before tipoff! #BleedGreen
"Midwife"
Episode 16: Quinta Brunson & Lil Yatchy
We're speeding up now...Midwife was just classically well executed over-the-top humor. When Bowen came out with the wig to the floor, I lost it. It's gross that Macklemore is a throwback now. Time truly is a bitch... just like the midwife, who while you were reading that, was busy delivering this baby.
To be continued?....
"Trump Easter Cold Open"
Episode 17: Molly Shannon & Jonas Brothers
In a season full of incredible Trump impersonations from JAJ, this one's my favorite/the best. I think I could've written this one a lot faster. We would've done it faster.
Please Don't Destroy: Molly Shannon 2K23
Episode 17: Molly Shannon & Jonas Brothers
This concept was hilarious (even tho it's recycled from an old PDD vid). I wish I had Shannon 95 back in the day on my Game Boy Color.
"Weekend Update: Jafar"
Episode 17: Molly Shannon & Jonah Brothers
I'm starting to sound like a broken record but this was perfectly executed by Bowen. His delivery on the "a little light in the loafers" and "yeah, I loveeee cooch" lines was out of this world. Fuck Ron DeSantis, I literally hope you d1e. You're a fascist/racist fuck who wants to destroy America!
"The Play"
Episode 17: Molly Shannon & Jonah Brothers
This one takes on a ride and when I watched it high ass balls the first time I was cracking up. I almost forgot about while making this blog, which can likely be blamed on the second half of my previous sentence.
"Drug Commercial"
Episode 17: Molly Shannon & Jonah Brothers
Menopause: gross, but funny! Molly's character shitting on the other dancers was also funny. Kenan comes in and closes this out like prime Mariano.
"Lisa from Temecula: Wedding"
Episode 18: Ana de Armas & Karol G
I'm pumped we got more Lisa. I'd like to think we would've seen her at least once more in the final three episodes, but her delivery of "smoked" making fun of Bowen's character killed me. I could kinda see what was coming with the salad but it was still fucking hilarious.
Weekend Update: Genesis Fry
Episode 18: Ana de Armas & Karol G
This Florence Welch version of Sarah Squirm gets my blood pumping like Reeboks. No matter who her character is, Sarah and Colin are one of the funniest duos on SNL.
Relax! Relax! This is the (2nd to) last video in this super long, passion project blog. Should my Barstool dream never happen, working for SNL is up there for Dozo life goals (but I ain't no fuckin' scab!!!) Lastly, fuck Hitler, but the use of that Hitler quote with Colin was hysterical. Once again proving that anything can be funny, you fucking children (loser adults) who cry about comedy.
"Nail Salon"
Episode 18: Ana de Armas & Karol G
We end with some more over-the-top gross humor. I'll never out grow that.
....get it, "out grow" in a skit about super long nasty overgrown nails. LOL dozo...
Thank you for making this far. It's now 8:15 pm and I'm met my goal of finishing this blog before tipoff. I wanted to make a photoshop collage to go with this blog but simply don't have the time. You likely won't see this blog until after Game 5 ends and for my own mental sake...hopefully there's a Game 6 Saturday night. GO CELTICS!!! YOU CAN DO THIS!!! I BELIEVE IN YOU EVEN THOUGH I'VE BEEN OPENLY UPSET WITH YOUR EARLIER PERFORMANCES THROUGHOUT THIS PLAYOFF RUN!!!!!!
Song: The Best (1989) Artist: Tina Turner Album: Foreign Affairs I've referenced this song in countless DOL blogs (mainly back in the 2018 Sox days). R.I.P. Queen, you were simply the best!
After being utterly devastated by the C's giving away Games 1 & 2 and falling into a 3-0 hole, I (for the time being) have completely changed my tune and believe in the Boston Celtics. They are the better team and have all the firepower to pull off this comeback. They're already 25% of the way there. It's a cliche, but take it one game at a time. Win tonight and worry about the rest later.
Gabe Vincent is out for Miami. Did I know who this dude was before this series? No, but he's been playing like 2016 Steph, so I'm glad he's not gonna play in Game 5. I've got some good news and bad news regarding the lead-up to this game. Let's start with the bad. The ref situation does not play in the Celtics' favor, but how this tweet was written irks me.
"If we lose, y'all know why." Don't say "y'all" unless you're attracted to your sister and hate freedom...also, I love to blame a ref as much as the next guy, but we could easily lose because Joe Mazzulla is over his head and our stars low key don't always shine.
Luckily, for the C's....Miami will be a little off from their delay getting to Boston...hopefully, this fucks up their routines, warm-ups, etc.
I guess they came in last night, sooo it probably doesn't impact much today...but it surely can't hurt the C's?
Malcolm Brogdon is banged up, which could explain his awful output in the last two games—still, no word if he's unavailable tonight. I don't hate this idea if he is. Like JT said after Game 4, "It's a make-or-miss league," and Hauser is wet. I get it, rotations shorten in the playoffs, but the C's depth is one of their strengths, and if they're gonna pull this shit off, they're gonna need help from more than 8 guys.
It's currently only 3:06 pm as I type this, and I am low-key still up in the air about going to Boston for the game. It may not be the most financially responsible idea rn, but ticket prices have dropped (for obvious reasons), and the prospect of being in the Garden for two season-ending losses is hard to pass up...
In all seriousness, I think the C's will win tonight but I'm just trying to set myself to handle the disappointment of their season ending. Boston is 1-5 at home vs. Miami over the last two ECFs, and I was in the building for their lone win...so part of me feels compelled to go and help. I was also in the building for the C's Game 2 win over Cleveland in 2018. Dozo's 2-0 at the Garden for ECF games and would love to extend it to 3-0 tonight. In Game 4, we saw Boston hold Miami under 100 after allowing 121 ppg through three games; to me, that's the name of the game. The C's can score with the best of them, but having to drop 130 to win isn't a formula that bodes well for any team. Just fucking rebound and stop turning the ball over, PLEASE. I'm looking at the Jays to step up. You dropped the first two at home and have a chance to bring the series back to Miami after it looked like you were probably getting swept like 26 minutes into Game 4. They both need to be efficient and, more importantly, confident. Too often, it feels like the Jays lose their way and forget how fucking good they are.
I don't care what the numbers or analytics say about the Celtics' chances. Obviously, they aren't super high being down 3-1, BUT eventually, an NBA team will come back from a 3-0 deficit, and this roster has the DNA to be the Sir Edmund Hilary of the 3-0 mountain top. In a way, it'd be the most "this core" shit of all time. This team loves to procrastinate and make life harder for themselves.
Win or lose; I'll be back in like nine hours to talk about the game...unless, of course, I go, but I don't see that happening since my most likely partner can't go and I'm not gonna Stephen Glansburg a playoff basketball game. Sure, I'll stand in the pit of a HAIM or The 1975 show Solo Dozo, but I refuse to do so at a sporting event. Wherever I watch, I'll be bleeding green. I believe in these guys. If anybody can do this, it's them in this situation.
How fitting is it that the C's got me Believe-ing again on Ted Lasso night?
It won't be easy, and Miami is still in the driver's seat, but at the very least, the Celtics had a little pride and didn't just roll over and die. We saw the real Boston Celtics in the second half, highlighted by an 18-0 run in the 3rd. They're now 3-0 in elimination games these playoffs.
Tatum finally had a superstar performance (his first since a 50 burger in Game 7). He even scored his first 4th quarter basket of the series! His 34/11/7 led the way for the C's.
If you're a loyal DOL reader, you know I'm a narrative guy. The C's still have a looong (1 o for each win) way to go, but wasn't it nice to see Jeter and A-Rod in the house watching a team leading a series 3-0 with a chance to go to the championship?
In my Game 4 preview, I asked who's gonna be Dave Roberts tonight, and it looks like Grant Williams decided to steal the show with four huge three-pointers and some stellar D.
Seeing the C's knock down 18 threes was incredible, but the night's biggest story is the Celtics' defense. Grant was far from the only Celtic to hold down on the defensive end; it was a collective effort #cliche. After allowing 121 ppg through the first three games of the series, the C's held Miami to 99 points. That's Celtics basketball.
We're gonna need more from Brogdon and Jaylen. In Juice's defense, he's banged tf up. A 7/16 night isn't great, but it got the job done tonight. Malcolm, on the other hand, is in a wicked funk. The rim is the size of a Cheerio for him rn; he's averaged 1.0 PPG over the C's last two games. Not ideal from the 6th Man of the Year!! Especially when Miami's undrafted guys have been fantastic this series...but I still believe in our guys. I need to see 30+ from the Jays.
Chuck said in the postgame, and I wholeheartedly agree if the C's win Game 5, Game 6 is Miami's Game 7, but we cannot look ahead. Yes, winning a playoff basketball game feels great, but the C's are 2-5 at home in their last seven playoff games. Going home should be good, but there's no room for error anymore. We cannot play with our food. Teams leading series 3-0 are 150-0 in NBA history. That's a nice big round number; it's time to break that streak. Please, at the very least, force a Game 6. We can't have the season end at the Garden again (I was there, and it was super unfun). Much love to old man Al for having probably his best game of the playoffs so far—going 3/6 from deep in a +23 night. He's spot on here with Abby; we gotta play TEAM ball and keep the ball moving—no more iso BS.
I'm just trying to stay positive. Some day a team will come back from a 3-0 series deficit. I'm not Broadway Joeing this for the C's. I'm still quite worried, buuuuuut they were one of the best teams in the entire league all year. They've got a border-line top 5 star in Jayson Tatum. Jaylen Brown (deservingly so) made 2nd Team All-NBA this season. We're deep, and plenty of other guys help carry the load, but it comes down to the Jays. This is a legacy series for them. If they somehow pull this off, even if they lose the NBA Finals: Presented by YoutubeTV again, they'll have done something no team has ever done in the 76-year history of the National Basketball Association.
For now, the Boston Celtics are still alive, Thursday night we'll see if they make it to the weekend. If there's ever been a team built to come back from a 3-0 hole, it's these Boston Celtics. #BleedGreen P.S. D-White deserves his flowers. He hit three threes again tonight in a solid 16/2/2/2/2 night.
There's no sugarcoating it. I still can't believe they're actually in this situation, but the Boston Celtics find themselves trailing the EIGHT-SEEDED Miami Heat three games to none in the NBA's 2023 Eastern Conference Finals. Sure, the Heat aren't your average 8 seed, but a Celtics' season with legitimate championship aspirations is on the brink, and frankly, it's unacceptable. In a must-win game 3, the C's got run out of the gym, looking like a team that gave up after giving away the first two games at home. Miami has simply wanted it more through three games.
I don't know what to expect tonight. Part of me selfishly wants the series to end immediately so I don't have to worry about planning my Ubah rides around watching a playoff game. Plus, if we get swept, the C's will likely do the right thing and fire Joe Mazzulla so he can have more time to watch The Town four times a week. But as a hashtag, good guy, this is much bigger than me. I love the Boston Celtics and feel for my fellow New Englanders. People act like Boston is spoiled, but the C's have won a single championship since 1987. That's the same as the Kansas City Royals. Celtics fans haven't been spoiled in 35 years and I am only 31. Much has changed since our region's last championship win in February 2019. The Boston Red Sox traded away a future Hall of Famer for 18 cents on the dollar to save money. Tom Brady left us for scuzzy Florida and now owns a slice of the Las Vegas Raiders (it's still so fucked they're not in Oakland). A global pandemic killed millions and destroyed even more brains. There's a legit threat of fascism in this country, and to top it all off, people still suck billionaires' dicks and vote against their own self-interests. Before I get myself even more depressed about the world, let's focus on the Boston Celtics. Despite their frustrating play and consistent lack of urgency, they're still my fucking guys. I love this core and still believe they're talented enough to win a championship. It's just so infuriating to see them constantly play with their food and not take care of business. I knew Miami had a legit chance in this series, but I never saw a world where the Celtics would be down 3-0. Not even the I.T. and Jae Crowder C's went down 3-0 after getting destroyed at home in the first two games of the 2017 ECF. No team in NBA history has ever come back from a 3-0 deficit in a seven-game series, but if there ever was a team to do it...the defending conference champs with two All-NBA stars and the 6th man of the year, that ESPN gave a fuckin 97% (like jinxing ass holes) to win this series seems like a solid team to change history. I mean, we did see a 16-seed win (again) this March. After no home teams played in/won the Super Bowl for 54 years, then it happened in back-to-back seasons (2020 Bucs & 2021 Rams). Things eventually change in life. Someday a NBA team will come back down 3-0. Whether it's the 2022-23 Boston Celtics remains to be seen. The obvious parallel with the Celtic's current situation is the 2004 Boston Red Sox. In case you're like eight years old or don't know about the best comeback in sports history, the '04 Boston Red Sox trailed the 2004 American League Championship Series three games to none vs. their biggest rival, the New York Yankees. Morale couldn't be lower after losing 19-8 in Game 3, but somehow they managed to win four straight to advance to the World Series, where they swept the 105 win St. Louis Cardinals for their first championship in 86 years. I've seen way too many people making the same '04 Sox references/jokes since Sunday night thinking they're being original, but now even Marcus Smart and Jaylen Brown are paraphrasing Kevin Millar.
I mean if we win tonight, we got Pedro Game 5, Schill Game 6 and Game 7 anything can happen...
This series has been all about heart and coaching. The Celtics roster is loaded with talent, and most of this core was around last season for the NBA Finals: Presented by YoutubeTV run, but the Heat play with heart and have a better culture than the Celtics. They've got four undrafted guys out-playing/hearting/hustling us. The Heat's advantage from a coaching standpoint cannot be overstated. Erik Spoelstra vs. Joe Mazzulla is like a guitar showdown between Eric Clapton and an infant born without hands.
Miami has undrafted guys looking like Steph Curry and Kawhi Leonard, while the C's have the mental toughness of a water bed with a leak, but that doesn't mean the tides can't turn.
For one, the NBA wants the C's in the NBA Finals: Presented by YoutubeTV for better ratings, so maybe we'll catch a couple of breaks, but in all seriousness, despite being down 3-0, we have the firepower to win. It's a cliche, but they really just gotta worry about the task at hand and deal with the rest if they get the opportunity.
Tonight is about having a little fucking pride. Are you gonna roll over and die or fight back and show why the scumbags at ESPN gave you a 97% to win this series? Are the C's gonna let Jimmy Butler do whatever the fuck he wants or actually have a game plan? Maybe we can pass the ball instead of standing around watching Jayson or Jaylen attempt a HORSE-caliber circus shot and for the love of God Al, make a fucking wide open three. People have been shitting on Grant Williams for getting Jimmy Butler going and sparking a 24-9 Heat run in Game 2, but I applaud Grant for at least having a little heart and standing up to J But. He's a role player, but at least he's trying to light a fire under the rest of his team. At times it feels like the C's think they're gonna win simply by showing up, which is not how things work in professional sports. Miami has a top 10 guy in Jimmy Butler and a future HOF coach. They're up 3-0 and deserve to be (even though the C's could've won the first two games). Does it all end tonight, or will the C's have some pride and put up a fight? I wouldn't be shocked either way, but if there was ever a team to become the first in NBA to come back from a 3-0 deficit, it's this Celtics team. My confidence isn't high, but I'm not giving up yet. Hopefully, neither do they. #BleenGreen
P.S.
I think trading Jaylen Brown would be an idiotic thing (unless he flat out says he's not gonna resign..then obvi you gotta get all you can for him). Sometimes he and Jayson can piss you off with their inconsistencies, but they're still one of the best duos in the NBA and young AF. You don't destroy that core. You find pieces that complement it. I'm not the biggest x's & o's hoop guy, but maybe having a traditional play-making point guard to get them the ball would help?? I love Marcus, but that's not who he is. Also, a coach that wants to do things coaches are supposed to do, like coaching and motivating their team, would be ideal. Double P.S. Please don't get it twisted...I know it may look bad to some that I didn't blog about the C's Game 2 or 3 losses, but Game 2 was a Friday and I was working. Then on Sunday night, hand-up I got a little banged up during the game and was too angry/sad to write. That would be irresponsible! Yesterday, my back pain was so shitty that I did nothing but try to stay still and not aggravate it anymore. I felt bad not writing and had to return today before Game 4. Hopefully someone has a Dave Roberts moment tonight and gets the C's going. Grant, I'm looking at you. Song: Cadillac (2023) Artist: Cobra Man Album: New Paradise I (EP) The Celtics need to play to win tonight. After being in an emo funk for 24ish hours, it's time to manifest some '04 Sox vibes. Just win tonight and worry about the rest later. Also, I fucking love Cobra Man, and even without the lyric wordplay, it'd still be today's SOD. Sorry for the lack of blogs since Wednesday, I was busy working and dealing with a lot of negative anti-swag but the boi is back and will get into it all at some point.
Well, that fucking stunk on ice that's actually melting due to a lack of action to save the planet.
I knew this was gonna be a tough series and even said in my Game 1 vibe check that Miami ML is an smart play tonight, but man, this one hurts almost as bad as my current hive situation. It's one thing to lose a home playoff game like the way the C's lost Game 5 vs. Philly. You didn't deserve that game. You sucked. But tonight, the C's took control in the 2nd and led by nine at the half, then proceeded to give up 46 points (which is basically 50) in the 3rd quarter and kill all the good Garden vibes they built in the first 24 minutes. As the C's went from up 9 to down 11, the morale of New Englanders came crumbling down so quickly that it could be confused for a controlled demolition. To the C's credit, they came out hot to start to 4th, but Miami answered back. This tweet below illustrates the stretch that killed the Celtics comeback efforts.
The only thing that performed worse than the Celtics in the 2nd half was YoutubeTV. In a 2023 Heidi Bowl moment millions of people were stuck on a Little Mermaid reboot commercial.
You gotta give Miami their flowers. They shot the lights out tonight, 54.1% from the floor and 51.6% from deep. Jimmy Butler is on a 2014 Madison Bumgarner type run right now. He's carrying this team on a legendary run regardless of how this series ends. He has 35/5/7/6 tonight. Honestly the 6 steals were what hurt the most.
Despite his monster statline, Himmy Buckets didn't single-handily carry them tonight. 22 got plenty of help.
I think the C's probably felt a little too good going into the half and came out flatter than a successful top surgery. Jaylen admitted that in the postgame. I just can't fucking get over that 3rd quarter. I'm trying to relax and be chill, like I was at the beginning of the game when the lead changed about 96 times, but this was a killer loss and again puts you behind the 8 ball (or in this case 8 seed). We lost Game 1 vs. Philly at home and won the series. Last year, we lost vs. Milwaukee at home in Games 1 & 5 and again won the series. Of course, in last year's ECF, the C's went down 1-0 and were 1-2 at home, and you guessed it, they still won the series.
Now just cause they've done this before does not mean we need to keep making a habit of this. I would've loved to take care of business at home and go to Fascist Florida up 2-0, but now #8 seed Miami has all the momentum and power. Game 2 becomes essentially a must-win for the C's. I don't know what the fuck this team was doing in the second half (mainly cause I couldn't watch a lot of it, thanks YoutubeTV), but this is unacceptable.
Now, part of that is on Tatum for turning the ball over multiple times, but either way, you have to get your superstar some fucking touches late. Also, we can't miss seven free throws in a game where we lose by seven points. You have to give Miami their credit because they did play well and made adjustments, but this feels like one the C's gave away. FUUUUUUUCK why do we always have to play with our food???
Also, Joe....you're paid to coach the team...fucking coach them.
Respect to Marcus for not throwing his coach on the bus but this whole "he doesn't wanna bail us out" mentality that Joe's exuded all season is so fucking stupid. It isn't working. He's like trying to outsmart the world or be king hardo by not helping the guys. Yes, you want them to figure shit out, but being a coach requires you to fucking COACH. If your child is reaching for the knives, will you just let them figure out that they're sharp and can hurt/kill them at their own speed or be a fucking parent and take it?
It's only one game, and I don't want to overreact, but I am super fucking worried mixed with a dash of sad. The series is far from over, but if the C's expect to return to the NBA Finals: Presented by YoutubeTV, they have to win Game 2. We won three games in Miami in the 2022 ECF, but we need to win one in Boston Friday night. We have to win Game 2. It's as simple as that. I'll say once more. We have to win Game 2. #BleedGreen
P.S. So much for home court advantage :( 
Double P.S.
You have to be fucking kidding me.
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