The roads in Rhode Island are about as smooth as an 8th grader's face. In most towns/cities, there are more abandoned buildings than occupied ones, and housing costs are outrageous, but I fucking love this place.

Rhode Island is beautiful, and while there's plenty of small state corruption and inactivity, it's where I want to live and ideally raise a family someday (unless I get a job that forces me to move, like, say, a barstool blogger...then I'll leave this place without thinking twice). There's a fair share of wannabe hicks, but for the most part, it's a very progressive state. That brings me a little comfort in a time when America Fascism is spreading like a cancerous tumor down south. This bill is the kind of progressive legislation I'm fucking talking about!!! Mushrooms are an incredible piece of the planet, and with all the terrible prescription drug issues in this nation, it wouldn't hurt to see the benefits of a natural solution to many of life's problems. Of course, Nixon fucked up the research progress with his B.S. war on drugs. Who knows how many lives this magical fungus could've saved? Veteran suicide would undoubtedly be lower had this option been around in the last half-century.

I've only eaten magic mushrooms a handful of times, but all the cliches and tropes are true. They're fucking incredible, and I wanna eat them with all my friends that I never see because "that's just how life is rn" (total B.S. excuse). Shrooms will open your mind and help you see things you need to see. You'll feel things you need to feel.

One of my handful of experiences was at a bachelor party in Vermont, and I just stared at the water and trees and felt the sun's rays enter every orifice of my body. It was incredible (until my trip came to a screeching halt when I fell off a land dock in a beach chair and landed in a bunch of moss. It was crazy; I thought I was paralyzed for a second because I was kinda stuck in said chair. That shit knocked me out of the trip, but it was still worth it and taught me a valuable lesson in making sure a chair isn't super close to the edge so when I sit down in it, the force of my body doesn't push it over the edge). 

Another time, I took shrooms at Tame Impala (obviously) and had what can only be described as a religious experience. Overall, I'm a huge fan and believe there are legitimate benefits to this "drug." Now that state-wide decriminalization has gotten over its first major hurdle, hopefully, the State Senate does the right thing for the Ocean State and gives us the fucking freedom to choose if we want to eat some shrooms without legal ramifications. 

The way I see it, everybody should take mushrooms at least once. I truly believe if everybody smoked weed, this country would be a much more loving and chill place. With shrooms, it's the same thing. They change you as a person for the better. I don't know how else to say it. Of course, bad trips can happen, but it's a risk worth taking. 

I'm souped about this news from a recreational standpoint, but the good this could do in solving mental health and other medical issues is immeasurable. Hopefully, the State Senate will do the right thing. I'm not gonna pretend like I know who the members of the R.I. State Congress are, but apparently, Sen. Megan Kallman supports the bill, so there's at least one vote!

For just the third time this June (nobody cares, but I feel super guilty when I let life keep me away from the keys), today's Pride Month artist is Orville Peck. I've been a fan for a minute. I saw him live in September 2021 and am delighted that his music exists.

It's a major bummer that this video has so few plays on Youtube...wake up, people, get with the program!! Orville Peck is incredible, sporting one of the most powerful voices I've ever heard. He's one of the few artists still tied to my country. He's got that twang and Christmas Story Leg Lamp Shade Swag.

As for the lack of blog action this month... I don't like it one bit. Ya boi has just had a lot going on. Unfortunately, this time of year is my busy season with ubin, and I'm only gonna get busier. I haven't told too many people yet (unless you saw my tweet), but someone fucking threw up in my car Saturday night. Consider this a low key Ubah Chronicle. It's only the second time that's ever happened. Luckily it wasn't too bad; pretty easy mess to clean (even though I still almost puked because my stomach is weaker than Ron DeSantis' handshake), but since I was rushing to salvage the rest of my shift (said puking happened around 1 am) I wiped everything down with some Clorox wipes and drove over the bridge with every window down to air the 'scape out. 

It was fucking so shitty, dude. Especially since Ub** didn't pay me a cleaning fee since I took shitty pictures of the mess while trying to rapidly clean my car and get it suitable for more passengers during the prime hour.

The guilty passenger was a solo female heading to Jamestown from Newport, anywhere from 21-26. When we were on the bridge, she started automatically rolling down her window, and I was about to give my whole "please keep the windows up on the bridge spiel (I fucking HATE that sound)."  

Instinctively, I looked into my rearview mirror and saw she was about to yak. Thankfully, we were still on the straight-away part of the bridge, and no other cars were on the road. I slowed down, put on my flashers and let this chick do her thing. Then as a once-high as 4.99 rated driver, I offered her some gum and told her hand sanitizer was in the passenger seat pocket. We chatted for maybe 90 seconds, and I obvi made her laugh. I gave her my puke message and was like it's cool, just let me know, and I'll pull over. Don't try to be a hero. 

So I'm getting off the bridge, I go through the EZ Pass toll and take the Jamestown exit to head into town. If you've ever driven on this street, you know it's typical a Rhode Island cheese grater street, so I try to joke about how this prob won't help her, but I never got the chance because she's puking again. This time I wasn't so lucky. Most of the damage landed in her lap, but the seatbelt took a solid sliming. 

At this point, any good vibes I had resurrected into the situation by offering gum and being a hashtag good guy went out the window (unlike her second yaking). I was fucking heating. Like, are you kidding me? I have changed and try not to use the word bitch to describe women, but bitch are you fucking serious??? I literally just asked you to lmk if you're gonna puke again and you go around and defy my request like 94% of the students I once taught??? FUCK You!!! 1 star. 

It's currently 2:53 am. I'm getting a head start on things by getting the SOD out of the way so I can hit the ground running and blog about some great news out of the Ocean State. It felt good to get behind the keys and GO. Grammarly's gonna be working overtime on this one (64 score upon first pasting)!  I'm looking up at that monster paragraph that'll likely get chopped up in the post like Dahmer victim and see at least eight red lines.

P.S.

TLC fucking killed it Sunday night. Shaggy was a glorified hype man. En Vogue played "My Lovin' (You're Never Gonna Get It)" AS we walked into Xfinity. I was fucking CRUSHED as I heard faint never gonna get its just out of an enjoyable range. If I power-ranked the songs from every artist on the ticket I was most looking forward to hearing...it's in my top 3. It goes "Unpretty," "No Scrubs," then "My Lovin'(You're Never Gonna Get It)." 

I'm playing the song as I write this P.S., and honestly, I'm getting bumming me out. IDK if I'll ever get another chance to see En Vogue. This was my chance, and if we just went in like five minutes earlier, I wouldn't have missed it. FUCK. 

I apologize for only blogging one day this week until right now. I've been wicked busy with various appointments/sleeping late. The herniated disc in my back has your boi on the verge of tears with every move, but life must go on! I nearly made a hacky joke about the early checkout, but we may be moving away from that as a brand at DOL (although I'm not sure I'm ready to give that crutch up yet).

Usually, I don't get a chance to blog on Fridays with work, but I had to get a message out to the dozens of loyal DOL readers that the contest I blogged about on Tuesday is still waiting for its first sign-up. I'm writing this blog to assure people that Tuesday's blog about a contest for TLC/Shaggy tickets was very much real, and all three tickets are still available.

People were likely too nervous about signing up due to fear the spots were already filled when in reality, nobody signed up because everyone felt that way. That doesn't make me feel like a fucking loser with no friends or readers AT ALL. Everything is great!

In case you forgot or missed Tuesday's message, there's an bomb mix of live 90s R&B this Sunday night at Xfinity Center, and I have four tickets for the show. I bought them a couple weeks back hoping I could find people to go with, but a combination of procrastination/fears of reaching out, a lack of interest, and potentially nobody seeing the message (even though my IG story had over 100 views) caused these tickets to go unclaimed as of 3 pm Friday.

In case you forgot what about this incredible opportunity entails, allow me to remind you.

DON'T BE SCARED TO LIVE A LITTLE! YOU'LL HAVE A BLAST WITH THE DOZ MAN!!!!! The drawing will take place as soon as we get enough sign ups!!!

Hopefully someone saves my social life and signs up for the TLC ticket contest. Have a nice day/weekend!

Greetings, loyal DOL reader,

Congratulations for clicking upon the opportunity of a lifetime (or at least the weekend) with your friend Ryan "Dozah" Government Last Name! Allow me to fill you in like Craig David, who unfortunately will not be present.

This Sunday, June 11th, 2023 (which happens to be the 13th anniversary of my HS graduation...time is indeed a bitch...we are all gonna die someday, which is why we must LIVE today), Xfinity Center in Mansfield, Massachusetts, is hosting TLC & Shaggy's Hot Summer Nights Tour. The show starts at 7:00 pm.

As a 90s kid and lover of some sexy R&B, I bought four tickets during the Live Nation $25 sale because I've been on a TLC kick. I wish I scooped up more tix for other shows, but this was my only purchase (although I'd love to go to DMB on Saturday, June 17th, if anybody's interested!!).

Being the awkward 31-year-old that I am, I have countless friends I don't keep in touch with as closely as I'd like (whose fault it may be is determined on a case-by-case basis); My anxiety makes it hard for me to make the first move and I'm worried that I'll end up eating these tickets. I don't wanna Glansburg this show! I admit I could be a better plan-maker and tend to procrastinate. While I wish other people flew by the seat of their pants a little more, I understand why that isn't always easy. It's already Tuesday, and I haven't yet filled a single free ticket. I've put some floaters out to people, but nobody's bit. I will blame the show being on a Sunday more than people not wanting to spend time with me. Not everybody's schedule is as flexible as mine currently is.

With all the momentum I made today at my new desk (nbd, this is my 5th blog of the day), I decided to make a little content out of my situation. I am happy to announce that I'll be holding a contest to give away these other three tickets. Of course, no scrubs will be allowed, but I'm crazy sexy cool with a rando squad of people I fw. Let's have some fun and jam to some great tunes. That's what life is all about. This has the makings of a hot summer night, and I'd hate for you to say, "It Wasn't Me" when asked if you were there for a legendary night.

​Three winners will be drawn at "random" at some point before Saturday, ideally ASAP. I wish you all the best of luck and cannot wait to see this show with you three (if nobody signs up, I'll feel damn unpretty on the inside and out. I may swan dive off the Newport Bridge...we'd hate to see if I'm joking or not...so please sign up!)!

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In my time away from the keys, I missed a few stories..here's one I am absolutely pumped about.

I openly admit that I'm not super confident in my NBA/basketball knowledge. I'm a football guy. I can't eloquently break down the x's and o's of hoops, but I know vibes and sports history. That's why I LOVE this move for the C's. KG & Paul Pierce spoke it into existence!

The whole thing is worth the listen, but 5:14-to like 7:30 is what you need to see for the context of this blog.

I couldn't agree with the Truth & KG more. I know I've been hard on Joe and have even called for his job at times, but 34 is spot on. We can't bring in a new coach. You can't have four different head coaches in four years with a championship-caliber team. Mazzulla had his hiccups, but there's undoubtedly been promise. The C's need to add to what they've already got; currently, it's not much from an assistant standpoint. I don't think I'm overreacting here when I say Sam Cassell is the PERFECT addition to this team and where they currently stand in this chapter of the franchise's storied history.

The Jays are incredibly talented and still haven't reached their full potential. We'd be fools to split them up. While Sam Cassell was never that kind of player, he was a solid pro who won THREE NBA Championships. '94 & '95 Rockets and '08 Celtics. He knows exactly what it takes to finish the job in Boston because he's one of the men who last reached the mountain top on June 17th, 2008.

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Do I know anything about Cassell's coaching style or personality? Not at all. But it doesn't matter. I remember the player. Plus, KG & Paul Pierce's endorsements are all I need.  Cassell's voice and experience will (hopefully) help this team take the next step. I definitely believe the Jays needed another veteran presence leading them and this move (on paper) does just that.

I fucking love how the Truth & KG talked, and the C's listened. Even if that's not why it happened, I'm gonna believe it was. These guys are legends and the C's should listen to them as ambassador advisors. You don't wanna lean on them too hard, but I like the idea of pro franchises valuing the opinions of those who helped make the franchise so valuable.

I'm almost like no longer super bummed about the Celtics, but instead excited. I mean, losing Game 7 the way we lost suuucked and I'm def not over that. I've barely watched any of this year's NBA Finals: Presented by YoutubeTV, due to lack of interest/pain, but like one of my favorite John Madden clips says, it's not time to panic...we were right fucking there. This team is so damn close. Perspective is everything. Yes, the C's should've won the ECF and never been in a spot where they needed to attempt the impossible, but they showed something in getting to Game 7. We were a win away from another trip to the NBA Finals: Presented by YoutubeTV. You don't give up or go crazy. The only option is to keep moving forward and getting better. This addition does just that for the Celtics, even if, again, I don't know much about Sam Cassell's coaching prowess, other than that he's been an assistant since he retired and with Doc for a minute, but based on what this move represents from a vibes and narrative standpoint, I fucking LOVE IT!!!! Go C's. I'm not wishing summer away by any means, but I can't wait for next season. 

After that last blog, your boi needs a palate cleanser. 
​
A couple weeks back, I posted a blog curating my favorite sketches from the 48th season of SNL. If you clicked on it, it is likely still loading due to the sheer size of a post with like 40 embedded youtube videos. Hand up, that's on me.

There are likely other skits I forgot to mention, but this one deserves its own special S/O in blog form. I watched this skit again the other night and almost immediately knew I fucked up.

In what ended up being the Season 48 finale, Ana de Armas knocked it out of the park. Not only is she talented, but she is one of the sexiest women alive, and she proved that yet again in this sketch about producer tags (DAMN SON, WHERE'D YOU FIND THIS??).

Everybody kills it..I think Devon Walker was the best rookie this season. Kenan was great as the hungry board operator, and my girls, Ego and Ana made an incredibly hot team with ridiculously specific producer tags "Daaamn Spicy, why you sleep next to your laundry?" The way Ana says "m-m-m-maaath" and "c-c-c-corolla" etc, gets the blood pumping. The tags just keep getting wilder and wilder...showing that anything can be funny if properly executed (which low key may happen to Spicy if their claims are true!).

​If you haven't seen this sketch yet, e-e-e-e-e-enjoy.

Sidenote, Ana's movie Ghosted on AppleTV+ is quite enjoyable for what it is. It's action packed and kind of cute. I've watched it three times (including last night) and she's a major reason why. I highly recommend it!

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If you've been under a rock the last few years, FL Gov. Ron DeSantis doesn't know the first thing about democracy or freedom. He doesn't give a fuck about the kids like he claims he does. If he did, he'd enact change that prevents school shootings. Instead, he made Florida a permit-less carry state!

When DeathSantis gives a speech in Florida, the crowd's been more carefully selected than an incoming Harvard freshman class. They're jam-packed with cronies that know not to challenge his deranged lies. Whenever he's challenged in public, he crumbles like a house of cards. DeSantis recently sarcastically asked someone they were blind when they had the gall to ask him a question! Talk about a person fit to be the "leader of the free world." See, I can do sarcasm, too, you fascist fuck.​

DeathSantis' platform consistently undermines democracy and the Constitution. There are infants with better interpretations of the First Amendment. When Mo-Ron isn't busy deciding what you can read, say, think, or be, he's gaslighting people into thinking he wouldn't have been rocking arm patches and killing non-Aryans if he were alive in the 1940s. He would've been front and center at the MSG Nazi rally.

He uses "woke" as a catch-all to describe any policy that helps others instead of doing his favorite thing...restricting freedom and personal autonomy. 

​Look at this pathetic tweet; how much effort did he put into this? It reads like a middle schooler signing a yearbook with "HAGS" when some rando 6th grader they didn't talk to all year asks them to sign it. The fucking balls on this go-go boot (with lifts!) wearing "person" who refused to denounce Nazis! 

What a thoughtful, heartfelt message! *eyeroll*

Ronny...what exactly was that "great evil" those brave men fought against? Why are you so scared to call it what it was? You had plenty of remaining characters left in your tweet. Are you afraid you'll upset your base?

What was the "great evil," Ron? What kind of leader was Hitler again?

Those who stormed Omaha Beach were the OG-antifa members. TBH, I'm surprised he hasn't banned learning about D-Day in schools! He already banned black history.

​I'm not holding my breathe that the Florida Fuhrer will actually be held accountable for his little Martha's Vineyard stunt (what a good Christian!), but news like this gives me a brief glimmer of hope during the fall of Rome-USA edition.

Fuck Ron DeSantis. Hayley Williams said it best.

P.S.

S/O all the people giving this fascist fuck the business in replies/quote-tweets. We see right through you, Ron!

I can't believe this is my first SOD for June! I am soooo sorry to all the loyal DOL readers for being in ghost mode for so long, but great news...I built a desk last night that I'm currently blogging at instead of being in my usual blogging position: lying on my stomach on my bed. It was no bueno for the el backo, and I can't lie...I'm feeling way more legit as a blogger rn..pounding away on the keys in a chair, at a desk, in my bedroom instead of face down, ass up, burying myself into my Mac.

As you likely know, it's June, aka Pride Month, aka hissy fit month for Republicans, and DOL is E-X-T-R-E-M-E-L-Y LGBTQ+ friendly. For the past two Junes, all SODs came from queer artists. That hat tip to their historical importance and countless bangers continues today. I went even back into the DOL logs to ensure I don't repeat any songs from 2021 or '22 this month.

I've been on The Aces for like 6-7ish years since the days of "Fake Nice." Everybody knows Ole Dozie loves a girl group. Their latest album just dropped last week, and frankly, they should be much more popular than they currently are. They're very much like Cobra Man in that (and they both only have like 3 music videos). Also, 3/4 of the band members are queer; that's how you make up for no blogs in the first five days of June!