It's currently 1:58 am, and I'm listening to Alice in Chains Unplugged on Youtube while normal people are sleeping, and I can't help but get this feeling that I fucking h8. I was going to tweet it, but I doubt I'd fit it into 280 characters; plus, I need to blog more. So here's a little late-night Dozo rant.
Nobody likes the guy that seriously brings up fantasy football, and nobody cares about a league they aren't in, but I'm sorry loyal DOL readers. I can't help but think about it. Your boiii is in the Finals with a legitimate chance to win my first real championship.
I did win a random ESPN league in 2007 (my first-ever team), but I don't recognize its legitimacy. Sure, I've technically won a league before, but in my eyes, I'm a ringless GM/coach. I'm like Andy Reid pre-Mahomes, always in the mix, but can't seal the deal. The league was like "KansasCity83differentnumbers." My QB was Drew Brees, and that's all I can remember; well, that and back then, espn gave you a prize for winning your league. I chose a league champs shirt from espn.com. It was red, and I wore it to school multiple times. But that lone championship was with strangers and nowhere near as crucial as this potential championship.
Of course, in 2019, I had a chance at a championship legitimately stolen from me. I made the Finals, beating the commish in the Final 4, and he straight up changed the score, so he won, then deleted the league. It's legitimately some of the most childish, scumbag behavior in the history of man. It's something I still think about and will always bum me out. A decade+ friendship died, and it fucking sucks to think he thought that little of me to treat me that way, and what hurt even more was my friends who let it happen and stuck by that dictator bull shit. This new league has many of those same guys, so this feels like an extension of that old league. I've been a GREAT GM for years, regularly finishing in the top 4, but a championship has alluded me. I've lost in the first round as a 1, 2, and 3 seed and have had some of the worst luck you can imagine.
I sat 2020 out because of what happened the year before. I didn't have a league. Plus, I figured fantasy would be a nightmare with Covid, so I opted out.
I hate even talking about this potential championship, but as a blogger, I gotta. This is potentially huge, maybe even life changing for me. I'm not a jinx guy and don't believe in mushes, BUT I've been on a crazy streak of mushing shit in the league chat. Sometimes I do it on purpose for part of the bit, but it has gotten to a point where I might swap sides and start believing in mushes. I can't help but get that "holy shit; this might happen" feeling. I had this feeling on February 5th, 2012; being on the cusp of something you've yearned for years. If you're unfamiliar with that date, that's the night of Super Bowl XLVI when the Patriots lost to the Giants for the second time. That game is nowhere near its predecessor in Super Bowl lore, but a championship nonetheless and one the Pats should've won (fuck Bernard Pollard). Brady got called for a questionable safety on the opening drive, then the Giants scored a touchdown, and quickly it was 9-0 Gmen. The Pats fought back and made it a 10-9 game at half thanks to a Danny Woodhead TD on a 98-yard drive. Then the late and not super-great (but was also likely affected by CTE) Aaron Hernandez scored a touchdown to give the Pats a 17-9 lead.
There was plenty of game left, but the Pats had an eight-point lead, and Brady looked great. The Pats' first Super Bowl win since I was in 7th grade (I was a sophomore in college in Feb 2012) was within grasp. I couldn't help but get a little emotional thinking about it. I know that sounds lame, but it's also fandom, and at this point in history, we know that the Pats' double-dynasty ended with 6 Lombardis, but in 2012, we were in the late stages of an eventual decade-long championship drought. 2001 is the first year I remember following the Patriots, and really, all I can remember is the playoff run. 03 & 04 I remember everything, but what I'm trying to say is I had won 3 Super Bowls in my first 4 years of real Pats fandom. Sure, I was spoiled; I didn't appreciate how hard it was to win, sorta like Brady's mentioned. The 06 AFC Championship Game and SB42 were two of the worst days in my life for a long time. Oh, to be a teen again. But yeah, in the 3rd quarter of SB46, I sorta started thinking, "Holy shit, we can fucking do this. We're gonna do it for Myra!"
I hate to admit it, but there were times I got this feeling during the 4th quarter of Game 4 of the NBA Finals: Presented by Youtube. Fuck, I'm soooo mushing myself.
I'm feeling that same way now with my squad, "Cooking Up Sutton Good." Yes, that's a Mac DeMarco reference using Dalvin Cook(1st round pick) and Courtland Sutton (3rd round pick; I thought Russ was gonna cook). I had Brett Maher going tonight, and he put a solid 10 spot for me. That's actually the basis of the tweet idea that inspired this whole ramble.
I definitely dodged a bullet in TNF. The guy I'm facing (whomst just so happened to host the Super Bowl XLVI party #fullcircle) has Derrick Henry, who the Titans rested tonight, and obviously, he's a candidate to drop 30+ points without hesitation. That was no doubt a huge break for the boi. People in my league were already trying to discount a ring I haven't even won yet because of it!
So for the next two days, every time I look at the fucking app, I'll see I'm up 10 points going into the Sunday slate. I feel like this blog will end up being the ultimate mush, but honestly, I'm happy to make the Finals.
Obviously, I want to win and would like the bigger prize, but the runner-up gets a nice spread.
I've been going to the gym for two months and am starting a new lifestyle on 1/2/23, so God willing, I'll have plenty of years to chase this ring if I don't Cook Up Sutton Good this weekend, but damnit man, I have that same feeling I did when it was 17-9. That like, holy shit Dozie, you might actually do this feeling. It seemed impossible for the longest time. All I did was win 8-11 games a year and lose in the first round. I low-key don't have faith in my guys. Here's my roster:
Even without Tractorcito, I have a tough matchup. I don't have faith in my WR core. I have too many volatile guys. Sure, I picked up Richie James 45 minutes before kickoff, started him in the Final 4, and got rewarded with a solid 8 grabs for 90 yards day, but I've got more question marks than Mark Lesko.
I'm sure someone in my league will post this blog in the chat hours before I wake up, and there will be some good ole fashion Dozo razzin, but I'm just a human being. If you cut me, I bleed. I have emotions. I care about things. I want every relationship I have to be stronger (including the one with my finals opponent). I could lose by 80 points. I mean, sure Cam Akers has been solid the last monthish, but can I really count on a projected 13.3? I don't think so. Mahomes has been my MVP this year, but Denver's D is fantastic. Yes, I built an incredible roster. Look at those rankings. #1 QB, TE, and kicker. Top 8 RB. 5 top 45 WRs. Maybe I don't have the name recognition, but as Belichick says, "it's not about collecting talent; it's about building a team." My team has a chance to go down as the 2022 champions.
It's gonna be a tall order. I'm the four seed facing the two. I already knocked off the regular season champ. I'm not pulling a Broadway Joe, GTMH I'm gonna lose. But if your team is out of the playoff hunt and you're looking for a rooting interest this weekend. Root for my guys. Maybe shout or tweet out a "Go Dozie!" I'll even accept thoughts and prayers.
TML is 0 for the season and low-key retired. It's no secret I let the last three years get the best of me. Let's remember how great I looked in December 2019. But I'm getting my swag back; what better way to start the new year than as a winner for just the second time in my life (I built a URI intramural basketball dynasty that made three straight Final Fours (Fall 2011, Spring 2012, Fall 2012) and won a championship in Dec 2012)? I fucking need this. My opponent is a rugged tradesman with a much sicker life than me rn; he doesn't need this. He's won our league before. I NEED this. Dozo needs this BAD. I want it. I gotta have it like Cold Stone. I've spent about an hour creating this late-night ramble. Of course, I've had some reefer. AIC's been paused for about 20 minutes as I type, but yeah, bro, I'm fucking nervous. I'm excited. I'm exhausted. I can't wait to see what happens Sunday. Hopefully, I make the right calls, and if I lose, it's not because of bad managing. I can live with getting my ass kicked where it doesn't matter who I start (I have no idea what I'm gonna do with my WR even though, as of now, Sutton & Watson have the highest projections. They're also both banged up), but I fuck up and cost myself it's going to be a long offseason.
I seldom talk shit to my opponent. I just remind everybody how consist of a fantasy GM I am, and honestly, that's what worries me. Look at the Rams. They sold out, won it all, then fell the fuck apart. I'm worried about how much I bring up the fact that I've finished the top 4 (usually top 3...2019 & 2022 are my only 4th place regular season finishes in this time frame) every year since 2015 (minus my 2020 opt-out) that I could fall off (I'm due). There's no guarantee I get back here, so I gotta make the most of it, and yeah, maybe that includes over 1,750 words about nothing at 3 in the fucking morning that maybe 17 people will read. DAD!!! I'm done. Time to try to get some sleep. #HireDozo. Let's Go Team Cooking Up Sutton Good!!!
Ya boi fucking called it. I woke up to this at 10:37 am before going back to sleep until 2!
Song: That's What You Get (2007)
Sub "when you let your heart win," with "when you're a misogynistic predator!!!!"
Happy Birthday Meg!!! Luv u qurl. I was gonna hit you up to pick todays' SOD per the new DOL b-day tradition but I'm burning the 2 am oil rn and could not afford to wait/potentially wake you.
I almost don't want to give this sexist piece of shit the time of day on my blog, but it's FUCK ANDREW TATE, AAF, so here's a late night quicky blog.
Think about how big of a loser you have to be to plan out this post, ask someone to take the picture, then talk shit to a 19-year-old autistic girl who's trying to make the world a better place for EVERYBODY, including fuck boy losers like you....at 4:58 am EST!!!
164.1K likes with over 82 million views is pathetic. That means 0.0078% of people who saw it liked it. That's the equivalent of me putting up a 2 piece on a tweet with 226 views (that's actually a little higher like %).
I don't care who I alienate. If you fuck with the Andrew Tates, Matt Walshs, Kyle Rittenhouses (it's insane that Greta and him share a bday), Tucker Carlsons, and Ben Shapiros of the World, we won't get along. They're terrible, soulless people who prey on the ignorant.
Someone who's not terrible, since she actually gives a fuck about bettering humanity, Greta Thunberg fucking cooked Andrew Tate with a burn that I'll quickly break down. Her response is at 2 MILLION likes and counting.
I want to hone in on how she said small dick energy and didn't simply say he has a tiny cock. Tons of people do, and Andrew Tate is probably one of them, but she didn't shame him for something he can't control. Small dick energy is much more than what you're packing. You could have a lax stick in your pants and still exude small dick energy. IDC if your dick's a foot long, if you rev your engine at stop lights, you have small dick energy. Big Dick Energy is a state of mind. It's your swag. Andrew Tate bragging about how much emissions his cars generate is quintessential small dick energy. Even if you're an idiot who doesn't believe in climate change, how is that a flex? Who does that impress other than fucking morons? Even (some) car companies are trying to improve their carbon footprint.
Get a life is just a classic schoolyard burn that never gets old when used properly. I hate the term "hits different," but that shit truly hits different. If I were to give Greta some constructive criticism, I'd tell her little dick energy flows better, but I'm not gonna knock her down a letter grade or anything like that. She bodied this little/small/tiny/micro dick energy loser regardless of her adjective choice (I can't wait until the right wants to cancel those in 8 months). Sometimes simple insults like that hurt more than something with every swear and slur in the book, which I'm sure he muttered to himself about her after getting fucking COOKED.
This guy's a bozo, and so is anybody who takes a word he says seriously.
Song: Baby Don't Forget My Number (1989)
Artist: Milli Vanilli
Album: All or Nothing
I unironically fuck with Milli Vanilli HARD. My friends and loved ones know this. Rob and Fab might've just been the face of MV, but the actual singers crushed. Say what you want about this scam and the record company being scuzzy by putting these poor boys in that position...the music is outstanding. It's so fucking catchy. I've loved them for legit decades thanks to young exposure from VH1 scandal countdowns. I wish I had been alive to witness the rise and fall of Milli Vanilli. Who knows how that would affect the lens I view them through now, but it would be fascinating to be like 23 when that happened.
Imagine if this came out with like, idk, shit, I'm writing this blog at 3:25 in the morning (and added the P.S. first)...imagine if, like, fuck it's harder for me to think of someone because I'm so out on what's hot in the mainstream...let's say like if in like 2010 we found out Lady Gaga or Rihanna lip-synched. Those are fair comps IMO even though it's a male duo vs. female solo artists. I'm just thinking of comparable massive starts for pop stars. Gaga went on such a crazy run to start her career. When I think of parties and dances from late high school, Gaga is a significant part of the soundtrack. Her first five hits in the U.S. peaked at #1 (Just Dance), #1 (Poker Face), #5 (Love Game), #6 (Paparazzi), and #2 (Bad Romance). That's an #3 average, which is nothing to be ashamed of. Milli Vanilli's five hits in the U.S. before the tape skipped peaked at #2 (Girl You Know It's True; it's insane that didn't go to #1 ), #1 (Baby Don't Forget My Number), #1 (Blame It On The Rain), #1 (Girl I'm Gonna Miss You), #4 (All or Nothing) for a 1.8 average. They were fucking HUGE. I love Milli Vanilli.
How about 8 more mom glow up TikToks I've seen since finishing yesterday's masterpiece?
That fit makes my heart skip a beat (similar to when Milli Vanilli's tape skipped, thus exposing them as frauds)
Ma's crushing this fun and flirty fit
44 is the new 24---mama's got some missiles.
Mommy's a smokestack in either fit
What's your OF and do you offer monthly bundles? (after further research, of course she's from Brazil, no wonder why she's so hot)
First fit was better but you look gr8 either way!
During my days as an educator, I hated TikTok. Trying to teach while tweens made videos dancing slightly out of rhythm was incredibly frustrating and disheartening. It'd be infuriating trying to teach about democratic backsliding while competing with one of the most impressive pieces of technology ever produced, showing countless quick, entertaining videos.
Of course, there's the whole China using it to spy on us thing, which is less than ideal, but I must admit, in 2022, I've become a full-fledged TikTok guy. I even made a video shitting on Fascist Qunt MTG that went baby-viral before being removed for bullying, which is hilarious if you know anything about the repugnant Qunt that is MTG.
Bonus Fuck Marge content.
Surely part of my switch to TikTok comes from Elon Musk stripping down Twitter for parts and ruining my favorite social media, but TikTok is incredible. It's so much more than stupid arm dances and twerks. It's amazing what you can find there. I'm on it constantly, usually learning. I'm 31, and most of my readers are likely a few years within my age one way or another (shout out all the olds that read DOL), so I'm sure the TikTok takes vary, but I'll gladly admit I was wrong about the platform and am a huge fan.
There's been literally countless TikTok trends, but this recent "Turning My Mom Into Me" challenge may be the greatest piece of content ever created. I love it like a Boston sports championship season. I feel like I don't write much about women and how fucking beautiful they are because in the Woke Dozo era I'm worried about being called out for "objectifying women," but this trend is so much more than all these moms revealing how fucking hot they still are. If anything, it uplifts women, as someone who doesn't get many compliments about his looks, I'd imagine it feels great to get gassed up at like 58 years old about how you still fucking got it (obviously some of these moms are younger, but I gotta throw a Dozah into this blog). Let me show you some examples of what I'm talking about.
I really think this mom had her kids at like 6 years old. This woman looks like 27 max. What a gorgeous smile. Manny Santos vibes
It's like she shaved 25 years off. What a cutie. What a difference a ponytail vs. hair down makes.
I'd smoke a joint and talk about Steely Dan with this hippie mama
Nowhere close to cracking. WOW!
Jenny from the block wanna sit on my ....?
It's crazy how much younger some different fabric and a bun can make someone look
This mommy is goated
If there's anything to complain about with this godsend, it's that the vast majority of these videos are over far too quickly. Some end before Skee-Lo gets to "who looked good, I would call her." We need more footage of these gorgeous moms looking 10-40 years younger and fucking fantastic.
This one is far and away my personal favorite. This woman is stacked tf up and should be profiting from her appearance if she isn't already. When I say perfection...
FUCKING SLAY GIRL!!!!
It's not all Milfs dressing like Gen Z, there's funny ones too.
But I don't see anything wrong with gassing up these gorgeous mothers for how great they look. You can tell they're having fun doing this with their daughters. Some were noticeably attractive beforehand, but it's a hot trend that I hope lasts forever and becomes a part of everyday life.
Daddy Doz needs some milk
Everybody knows I LOVE red heads
This mom is cool af and definitely lets you drink inside the house because she'd rather it happen under her own roof.
I could literally watch these all day (and I have!).
Proof you can be sexy without having dem milkers or phat ole ass hang out (not that there's anything wrong with expressing yourself that way)
Idk why but she gives me SSX Tricky vibes
Step on me with those heels
This mom just gives off cool af vibes
S/O this mom for going above and beyond with THREE different looks.
You'd look sexy in a garbage bag
Let's make those holes a little bigger
Holy fuck, she'd get ID'd; this look took decades off her
Looked great in both fits
Simple and sexy
She's arguably hotter before, but gorgeous regardless
She legit cut her age in half
I LOVE her hair
I'd let her choke me to death
Hot Topic Momma
I'm having way too much fun finding these and watching/rewatching them, but yeah, this is fucking awesome. My fault if all these bad bitches (respectfully) end up crashing your phone/computer cause I linked like 650 videos (35 to be exact...I think...I only counted once), but I just cannot get enough of this trend. Of course, not everybody loves this display of feminine beauty. Wahhhhhhhhhh!!
I saw other videos complaining about how "unrealistic" these mom's bodies are which I find kind of fucked up. As a fat guy, I know the struggle, but clearly these women have taken steps to stay in shape and look good, that shouldn't be bad just because you didn't do the same. They are real people. Not everything has to be some major issue, just let these moms slay in peace. There are allegedly sexy people of all shapes and sizes but just because some of these women are "conventionally" attractive doesn't make them unrealistic or bad. Boo fucking who you troll. Moments like this are why this Bill Burr clip exists. The title makes it look worse than it is. He's spot on, especially at the 1:20ish mark.
I cannot wait to see where this trend goes. I feel like I've forgotten so many well deserving moms, so what's a few more?
Those pants, those tits, damnnn ma
Holy shit that eye roll was so fucking hot
Goth swag. I'd let you both cast a spell on me
Perfect combination of sexy and cute
If these won't convince you to get on TikTok, nothing will. These hot moms are incredible, but I feel like I've definitely crashed a few phones and laptops at this point. I'll end with this...It's not exactly the same trend, but still some awesome mom content. Look how good she looks! Her hair is a million times better. I love Home Alone!!! and yes, you could punch me in the face anytime!!!
Song: Big Bang Baby (1996)
Artist: Stone Temple Pilots
Album: Tiny Music... Songs from the Vatican Gift Shop
If I had to guess without hyperbole, I've listened to this song 72 times in December. I can't get enough, and I love the part of the video where the walls change from white to some prehistoric Snapchat filter background.
R.I.P. Scott Weiland.
It's time for one of my favorite blogs of the year: My top last two digits of the current year songs of said current year!!!
Last year, I waited until New Year's Eve to post my 2021 recap. I did the same for 2020's "DOL Top 20 Songs I Loved in 2020 That Weren't Released in 2020" blog. I'm a stickler with staying true to the calendar year in blogs like this, but as of today, my Apple Music top 100 most played songs features 10 released in 2022 (way down from 24 in last year's version). I'm banking on no late entries to this year's list.
I'm going to (hopefully) write a "Top 22 Songs I Loved in 2022 That Weren't Released in 2022" this year, but since I haven't blogged all week and won't have a chance tomorrow/technically today (I haven't bought a single Christmas present yet), I figured let's move the list up and give the people a little something to listen over Christmas weekend. I'm gonna post these songs' videos for the blog and link a streamable Apple Music playlist version. Sorry Spotify folks. You may have prettier year-end graphics on your wrap-up, but that won't give you access to the DOL Top 22 Songs of 2022 playlist.
Despite the high probability of you not recognizing some of these songs or even more likely, being surprised some of the biggest hits of the year were omitted, this is MY personal Top 22 of the year. I tend to be a little late with music like I loved St. Vincent's Daddy's Home. I listened to it all summer long.
that cover is so fucking sexy.
"Down and Out Downtown" is currently my 2nd most played song of the year, but I did not listen until this spring. I wish I had been from the jump. I fucking love that album. Tame Impala is my favorite solo artist that's also a band, and I got into them in 2016, a full year after Currents came out. I'm saying I'll probably end up catching up with the "best" 2022 tracks by the next World Cup.
2022 was a great year in music for Ole Dozie (r.i.p. Mighty Mighty Bosstones). I saw Tame Impala twice in a week back in March, I don't wanna recap my whole 30th-year blog lol, but I crossed some of my favorite artists off my "need to see" list, like Tame, Steely Dan, The 1975, Billy Strings, Willie Nelson, and Cobra Man to name a few.
That's enough non-song-related reading for ya. Let's dive into the list! Here are the DOL Top 22 (30 with honorable mentions) Songs of 2022:
Honorable Mention: "Tek It" Cafuné
I'm almost positive this song came out in 2019, but I've seen some sources say 2021, and the video was posted in 2022. I just fucking love this song; it's currently my 16th most played Apple track of '22, and considering I didn't hear it until September, it's a more than solid chart spot. When it was a SOD, I said I might consider it a 2022 song for the blog, but let's call a spade a spade---this isn't a 2022 song; it's just a groovy bop. Jesus Doz, you're 31 years old, don't type like that.
Honorable Mention: "Poland" Lil Yachty
At 1:23, "Poland" is closer to a TikTok than a song, but I couldn't stop listening to this shit for about two weeks. I fuck with lil boat. Also, when I first heard it, I thought he meant "Wok," as in the Chinese pan, but after linking the track's time in the sun as an official DOL SOD (10/13), it looks like I already said that.
Honorable Mention: "Throat Goat" Kim Petras
Same vibes as "Poland," it's way too short to be considered an real song by me. "Throat Goat" is basically a ringtone, but short songs are still songs. Like t-girls, I dig this song/track/single, or whatever you wanna classify it as and it deserves the right to exist. Kim said she loves it big or small, so you're more than welcome to give Ole Dozo a gargle, babe, and decide that for yourself.
Honorable Mention: "Any Turn" Orville Peck
Maybe I'm sexist against songs that are less than two and a half minutes? But seriously, I give myself a two songs per-artist restriction every year. "Any Turn" is one of my faves off Bronco, but I'm discriminating against shorties. Fun Dozie Fact: I get fired tf up like a cattle prod while driving to this.
Honorable Mention: "Oh Caroline" The 1975
Same vibes as Orville. I can't have this entire list be Being Funny in a Foreign Language. The video for "Oh Caroline" is like the reverse of "Heart Out." Now they've got both sides of the Benjamin Button (great timely reference, Dozie) spectrum covered.
I'd love to serenade future co-worker and Barstool Idol Caroline with a karaoke cover of this. Baby, I'll do anything that you want to; I'll try anything that you want to. Man, I'm really procrastinating starting the official list...what the hell? What's one more honorable mention??
HonoUrable Mention: "The Lightning I, II" and "Unconditional I (Look Out Kid)" Arcade Fire
Did I say one more honorable mention? I meant three. Now look, Ole Dozo is not a "cancel culture" guy. I believe that nobody is perfect, and we all have done shit we're not proud of. There have been no legal ramifications yet, but when there's smoke, there's usually Arcade Fire, and with five people accusing Win Butler of sexual misconduct, to quote Mark Wahlberg (maybe Turtle? I forget) in Entourage, "well, it's not good."
I have a hard time officially ranking any of Arcade Fire's latest (even if I do enjoy it) songs due to the claims. I haven't listened much since that news broke. I don't want to assume anything one way or another, but I feel more comfortable giving Arcade Fire a head nod honourable mention. At the very least, not all members are involved with this, so excluding them is unfair, but the story is a bummer nonetheless. It's weird because if Win used his fame and position to fuck, I feel like that's not a big deal; that's rockstar life. Obviously, any sort of nonconsensual acts are unacceptable, but this is a weird ass situation. Regardless, honourable mention for Arcade Fire. "Lookout Kid" would be in my top 5 had these allegations not happened. It's a beautiful song and makes me wanna be a dad someday (even though the world is fucked!!).
#22. "Oregon" Briston Maroney
I still don't know shit about fuck (R.I.P.) when it comes to Briston Maroney (I've listened to 2 songs), but Apple Music suggested this, and damnit if those algorithms don't know me! To speak like 2022, it's giving Wallows vibes.
#21. "As It Was" Harry Styles
Over saturation got me sort of sick of "As It Was," but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't grooving to this in the 'scape when it first came out. Harry deserves a spot on the list for being the sex god he is (even though I don't get down with allegedly spitting on people at award shows/premieres/whatever tf that was), and this song fucks. Just because I heard this every time I stepped foot in a supermarket doesn't mean it's not good. My favorite part is that voice switch at 2:05ish. I'm sure David Bowie is smiling down on Harry for stealing his everything.
#20. "Faces in the Moon" Ghost Light
My buddy Z recommended Ghost Light, and I fell for this one. Everybody knows Dozie has a soft spot for a cute frontwoman. Big swag by me, including a song with less than 500 plays on Youtube.
#19. "Keep On Dreamin'" The Arcs
A relatively new addition compared to the rest of the list (11/30's SOD). I would've never guessed that The Arcs would release something better than the Black Keys in 2022, but that's precisely what they did with "Keep on Dreamin'." Frankly, Dropout Bougie was a massive disappointment, but Dan Auerbach salvaged his 2022 with this homage to 60s keyboard rock with sprinkles of every decade since.
#18. "So Sick (Of Missing You)" Pale Waves
"So Sick (Of Missing You)" could be confused as some 2002 Avril, and I mean that as a sincere compliment. I was really into Pale Waves in late 2018 and haven't listened to them much in the past few years, but I am all the way back. Had me and my last girlfriend made it to May of 2019, I would've seen them open for The 1975, which would've been cool, but don't get that twisted. I just wish I had seen them and The 1975!! So Sick (s/o Ne-Yo) is these Brits' first of two entries on the 2022 DOL charts. "DIDN'T KNOW THAT YOU COULD BEEEE,,, SOOO FUCKIN CRUEL TOOOO MEEE"
#17. "EDGING" blink-182
I'm pumped that blink-182 is back with its optimum lineup, and "EDGING" is a solid and fun return, but I'm not gonna lie and say it compares to their peak work. It's great to have the boys back (with a cancer-free Mark), and I'm excited about the album; it just sucks concert tickets are going for down payment prices.
#16. "Free" Florence + the Machine
Flo went out there and dropped an anxiety anthem while rocking a cute braid. I just checked what I wrote when this was SOD (4/27), and holy shit, I basically led that off with the same sentence. The human brain is an interesting +machine! Yes, FATM was incredible live. Florence is my King/Queen/Goddess.
#15. "Act My Age" Pale Waves
These vocals are Paul Piercing. Fuck that MGK bullshit. This is the real emo revival, albeit poppy emo.
#14. "New Mode" Kid Cudi
Truth be told, I still haven't listened to the album front to back yet. I've been meaning to watch the Netflix movie that accompanied the album but haven't found the moment. "New Mode" has classic 08-10 Cudi vibes, which earned it a spot on the DOL Top 22 of 2022. I'm gonna be on a new mode in 2023. Dozie's getting back in the 200s in '23 before I turn 32...woahhh
#13. "Hungersite" Goose
Not to be confused with "Hunger Strike" by Temple of the Dog, these animals out of Connecticut have brought jam bands to the mainstream-ish. Don't let their asi-asi performance on Kimmel fool you; Goose fuckin grooves and are arguably keeping my man Z alive. Nobody loves Goose more than Z.
#12."Bad Habit" Steve Lacy
Arguably the most well-known song on my list, I didn't hear "Bad Habit" until Steve Lacy was on SNL. I wouldn't be shocked if this cracked my Top 100 on Apple Music by the end of the year. TBH, I'm surprised it hasn't already. I've seen headlines on Youtube saying that TikTok killed this song and lame shit like that. IDK if it's true, I just know I like this song even though astrology is stupid and biting your tongue is too. Biting my nails and eating my feelings are two examples of my many bad habits!
#11. "Ur Mum" Wet Leg
"Ur Mum" loses points for the elongated scream, that's not my swag, but I've got wet legs from spilling their kool-aid all over my lower half trying to put out the fire in my pants that Rhian Teasdale started. These ladies are adorable and fucking rock. I feel like they've been getting their dicks sucked big time by most music publications, but they deserve it. Wet Leg has a super bright future.
#10. "Cool, Nice" Cobra Man
If you put The B-52s, Bee Gees, Ramones, and The 1975 into a blender without its lid on, that's Cobra Man and the energy at their shows. They're still on the come-up, which is why this video looks like it cost about $850 to create. It's only like their third ever music video and I dig it. Super cool. We're probably all guilty of being a "cool, nice" person from time to time and this jam gives us plenty of reason to be more present.
#9. "Angelica" Wet Leg
"Angelica" was my first taste of Wet Leg and still my favorite track of their growing catalog. If this blog was ranking verses---
"I don't know what I'm even doing here
I was told that there would be free beer
I don't wanna follow you on the 'gram
I don't wanna listen to your band"
---takes the 2022 gold medal without question.
#8. "I Ain't Quite Where I Think I Am" Arctic Monkeys
The Arctic Monkeys' sound has evolved so much since they broke onto the scene via myspace they should be called the Melted Humans. I remember listening to Dance Floor while stripping wallpaper at my Grandparent's house in Prov on the late great BRU. While The Car doesn't sound anything like those early days, Alex and the boys have aged like a fine whiskey. This is a freaky, funky take on the Monkeys we've been glimpses of since AM and I gotta say I'm all for it. You wanna hear this while on heavy ludes at a casino in 1978.
#7. "This Is Why" Paramore
It took a few plays for "This Is Why" to grow on me, but once it did, it metastasized to my heart. There's so much energy in this still somehow cool performance; I had to include it over the sorta *blah* video. With all the bands I knocked out this year, Paramore is close to the top of the "who Dozie needs to see live" mountain. Hayley is one of the best lead singers in the history of any genre. Her voice is elite. Her moves are the perfect mix of sexy and cute (Crazy Stupid Love, 2011), and she has great stage presence. I fucking love her. She's been killing it since I was a freshman in high school.
#6. "I've Been Drunk in Every Pub in Brisbane" The Chats
I know I was h8in pretty hard on short songs earlier, but I think I've more than made up for it by putting a 1:29 Aussie punk ode to hitting every watering hole in the city in the (never forget J)6 spot more than makes up for it. I genuinely love this trasher. It's so fucking fun and makes me wanna have some pints with the fellas. If this came out 20 years earlier, I could totally see it in a THPS soundtrack.
#5. "Bronco" Orville Peck
I'm not much of a country guy anymore, but Orville Peck is more than just country. He's a gay space cowboy from America's hat with pipes for days. Bronco's title track from his sophomore record is fiery and fun, and I enjoy it very much. There's nobody in music like Orville Peck, and I cannot recommend him enough.
#4. "My Love" Florence + the Machine
"My Love" tempo sorta reminds me of Jennifer Paige's "Crush," which is one of my favorite songs of childhood, and "My Love" is hands down my favorite track of FATM's Dance Fever. "My Love" is energic and sexy and puts Flo's angelic voice on display. She's killing that dress here. Not to sound like a 23-year-old fan girl, but she is everything. You're more than welcome to put your love in my arms.
#3. "Happiness" The 1975
I feel like I abuse the term "infectious bassline" in my writing, but "Happiness'" could put you in quarantine. I know I've said this before too, they should be called the 1983 with their new wavy flavor. It's 3:39 am so excuse me for being a basic bitch. I LOVE THE 1975. I'm not a gay guy (not that there's anything wrong with that) but I would let Matty Healy fuck me out of respect/slight attraction. I'm so glad he's not doing H anymore.
#2. "C'Mon Baby, Cry" Orville Peck
I can't think of one part of this song to criticize; this is Orville at his best--major old Vegas strip vibes. His voice is so powerful. I love the stories he tells. I am a sad boi, just like you (but we're working on it!). Don't be afraid; let it out, give into Orville's extraordinary voice, and shed a tear if you must. I saw him live at Fete last year from like 15 feet away, and it was incredible.
#1. "I'm In Love With You" The 1975
Who would've guessed a band famous for comically long songs and album titles would drop a banger with the least creative title of all time that is an absolute masterpiece? To copy my description of "Happiness," "I'm In Love With You," is infectious. You could've just gotten fired, your house could've burned down, and this shit could still make you smile.
There are plenty of things to be unhappy about in this crazy world, but this song and band are not one of them. "I'm In Love With You" makes me want to be in love and sing it to my bride while we share our lives. I, I, I, I, I fucking LOVE The 1975 (so much that I saw them solo dozo in November). This peppy number is a go-to on my workout playlists and DOL's #1 song of 2022 (the second time The 1975's had that honor). I don't understand how someone with ears and a soul could think "Part of the Band" is better than this bop (fuck I did it again).
Song: It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas
Artist: Mac DeMarco
Sorry for my lack of written content the past week! Ya boiii's been going through it. I did make a low-key viral TikTok (70 likes) bitching about the Pats' incompetence and the inexcusable missed call on the tying TD.
I hope you have a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Holidays, and a Happy New Year. Idk how much I'll get out in these final days of 2022, but I am soooo excited for the future. My grandma liked this song; I hope you do too.
R.I.P. Franco Harris and Ronnie Hillman
I don't know if reflecting/recapping age 30 would be reflecting on my 31st year since 0 through 1 counts as a year...either way, here's a blog reflecting/recapping my year as a 30-year-old.
I'm starting this blog at 9:19 pm EST on December 14th, which means I'll be 31 years old in less than three hours. If you want to be official-official, I'm not 31 until 8:22 am.
The first year of my 30s flew by. I feel like I didn't do much, but then when I look back I'm like damn, Dozie, you saw your favorite band twice in a week, went to the NBA Finals and managed to not even kiss a single woman. What a year!
I'm still trying to dig myself out of the hole I got into in 2020 and since March, I've been on a hiatus from teaching; I'm still unsure if I'll ever return. Life has been unquestionably better since I got out of the classroom, but I also need to keep my insurance that I feel like I could lose any day now. Some people think I'm crazy for still chasing my Barstool dreams, but as I told some friends and my ex-GF on Thanksgiving Eve at Pelly's, we only have one life, and I'd rather spend mine going after what I want than settling and thinking what if 40 years from now. I know I have what it takes; I just have to stop being such a pussy and truly go for it.
When I was in my mid-20s, I was one of those annoying people who was like, "OMG, I'm so old," but now I've completely flipped it. I'm still young. Outside of being fat, I feel young. Covid cost me my late 20s, so let's just say I'm turning 29. The best thing I did this year was start working out again, so hopefully, I've got at least like 58 (had to throw in a Dozah reference) more birthdays left, excluding tomorrow.
I won't lie, this year hasn't been easy. My dad moved to Florida, so now both of my parents live in DeathSantis land. It's feels like a precursor to the day I become an adult orphan like Funkhouser (may God bless his soul) and I am so not ready for that. Of course, I've had my battles with the depresh and I'm trying to best I can to just make it through the day. I feel so disconnected from people and it sucks, but I'm like so in my head that I think of a million reasons to not reach out (mainly the shame of the situation I've gotten myself into, fear of rejection, fear I'm a burden, etc.), but I'm hoping to get my groove back for 31. I want to spend more time with my friends. Between the panny and getting older, it's been tough to see people as much as I'd like and I just want to have better relationships with the people I care about. I hate being scared to text people I've now known more than half my life.
It took a while, but I'm starting to take care of myself again. I have a PCP now and started seeing a chiropractor about a month ago. I've been working out 4-5 days a week for the last five weeks, but I've got a long ass way to go. My size and mental stuff have definitely held me back from truly going after it with Barstool and by that I mean actively sending shit in. I want to meet someone too, I'm sick of being alone. I've used my weight and the panny as an excuse for too long, but also know I need to love myself before I can truly love someone else and be a good partner. I've bounced around building this blog and it's now nearly 3 am on my b-day and I've only gotten to mid-November so far, but yeah...this was a cool reflection on the year the was. My memory sort of sucks when I'm not like having conversations with people or looking at pics/videos to help joggle it, so there could easily be some cool stuff I simply forgot during blog construction or omitted for personal reasons (like I just added that second half of the sentence at 3:37 am). It's been cool to look through my camera roll and various other sources to recreate the last 365 days. Here are some of the highs and lows that was my 30th year/age 30/whatever the correct term is. I hope you enjoy. Yeah there's gonna be some fragments here. You've been warned.
December 17th, 2021: Went to my buddies' hockey fundraiser, then sang two songs at Celtica (r.i.p.) karaoke night. It was packed, so my first song was "Last Kiss" by Pearl Jam, hoping to kill some vibes so people would leave and it'd be less busy for my friends and me to sing. That didn't really work (vibes were killed, but people stayed), but I redeemed myself with a little Panic!
also, I sharted ripping a bowl before karaoke...luckily I had spare boxers in my trunk
December 26th, 2021: Went to Bills-Pats (birthday present) with my dad and watched the first of nearly 13 straight quarters of football where the Patriots failed to force a Bills punt. This is the only pic I took of us together, and I used my scarf to cover up this nasty growth I had on my nose—S/o my sister for getting me that throwback Bruschi jersey for Christmas.
There's a smile!
December 28th, 2021: I got that nasty growth cut off my nose. Believe it or not, I was more self-conscious about it than my morbidly obese frame!
Spoiler Alert: It was crazy money. Apparently, I needed a referral from my PCP (something I didn't have at the time) and got charged like $650 on top of the 100ish it was to get it lasered off in about 10 seconds. Well worth it to get that monstrosity off my nose, but also utter bull shit.
January 4th, 2022: the world learns my students stared a rumor that I have an OnlyFans (I mean I have an account to help support small businesses, but they meant like I did porn/sex work on OF which is such a weird fucking rumor to start for a billion reasons)
January 10th, 2022: experienced frozen hair, a la Sanka from Cool Runnings (easily one of my 10 favorite movies)
January 18th, 2022: Anonymously donated to my friend's Haymakers for Hope cause (hashtag good guy). He'd end up winning the fight later in the year! fuck cancer.
February 2nd, 2022: witne22ed hi2tory
February 18th, 2022: Found a nice drawing on my desk.
February 24th, 2022: Went through my old Pokemon cards. WHY WASN'T CHARIZARD IN A CASE?!?
March 2nd, 2022: Officially put on Administrative Leave from my school department. I haven't talked about this much on the blog for obvious reasons, but it truly was one of the biggest blessings in disguise in the history of humanity. My life has been much less stressful, and I've made ends meet from ubin. Long story short, students were fucking with me for over 20 minutes, and I snapped and said something I shouldn't have and immediately apologized. A student recorded me when this happened and brought it to the principal later that day. The next day, I went in as normal, prepped during my free period, then before I went into my classroom, a sub told me to go downstairs and I knew I was fucked. I talked to the principal about what happened, went home early and came in the next day, did the same thing, actually taught for about 10 minutes before the same sub got me and brought downstairs and that's when I found out I was on leave.
The best part of the ordeal is that the incident occurred on the first day back from February break. The student who snitched on me was visibly poor and would often complain about it during class (while never doing any work despite being one of the brightest kids in his grade). On the last day before February break, he was complaining about being hungry, so I took him aside privately after class and told him that I heard him and that I know we don't get along super well, but I didn't wanna see him go hungry tonight and gave him $7 (that's all I had in my wallet) to get something. At first, he refused, but I insisted (hashtag good guy). I don't regret helping him out, but it's fucking crazy that legit the next school day after I did something nice for him, he basically entrapped me. Sometimes I wonder if he did that on purpose to free me from the hell that was that position, but I think it was just kids being kids, fucking with me. I can return to this district. I ended up getting in no trouble because the recording showed how much they were fucking with me and how I immediately apologized after I said what got me in trouble, so it turned into a medical leave because I mentioned being dead by the end of the year from how the kids treat me, but honestly, I don't wanna go back and have avoided it this long. #HireDozo, so I don't have to.
March 3rd, 2022: watched Tatum go off on his birthday against Ja & the Grizzlies (my first in-person Celtics game since Game 2 of the 2018 ECF). Ja had a nasty dunk on the hoop by our seats.
March 10th, 2022: Surpassed the 3000th level of Candy Crush (currently at 3702)
March 12th, 2022: Saw Tame Impala (my favorite band/solo artist who is also sort of a band) for the first time with five of my friends. [Mohegan Sun]
watching that wave crash on drugs was siiiiick
March 16th, 2022: Second Tame Impala show in less than a week [TD Garden]. Sadly, they didn't play "The Moment" at either concert, but both were fucking incredible.
March 19th, 2022: Saw Tom Segura live with my sister and her husband. R.I.P. Bob Saget. We went to Guy Fieri's place before the show, but I don't have any pics from that meal. I do not remember what I got. Probably a burger.
March 21st-22nd, 2022: Crushed it on Twitter Showtunes; gained 100ish followers that seldom engage with my content!
March 23rd: Got a double fortunate cookie with my order from one of the many local Chinese restaurants near my house.
April 24th: Caught a quick 1000 piece paying homage to the best character on Barry. I love Noho Hank.
April 28th: Threw away $351 believing in Matt Ryan. The worst part is, the Titans are frauds like I expected (they're 7-6 and have lost 3 straight), but the Colts ended up being one of the most disappointing teams in the league.
April 29th, 2022: I'm just out to fiiiind, the maaaaan in the box
May 8th, 2022: Nearly died laughing watching this SNL skit. Benny Cum crushed this episode. The ice cream skit is gold too.
May 13th, 2022: did my part to save the world. tough love.
May 16th, 2022: best email I've ever received (until I'm #hireDdozo). Idk if I'll ever teach again, but kids like this make wanna go back. This is what it's all about.
May 23rd, 2022: Watched the Celtics win Game 4 of the 2022 ECF (their only home win of the series) from like 10 rows back en route to their first Conference Championship since 2010 (the year I graduated HS).
May 29th, 2022: Celtics win the East. I took one of the least flattering selfies of all time.
May 18th (giving myself one out of order post): took this gorgeous selfie in the bathroom of some random jam band show at Fete--hard to believe these are the same person!
June 2nd: Spotted a brown bowl in the wild.
June 6th, 2022: Got my first ultrasound
June 14th, 2022: Weighed in at the fattest I've ever been. It's fucking gross, but a spot I got myself into and something I'm currently fixing. I have a follow up Dr. appointment on the 22nd and am pretty sure I'm well back into the 3s now, but I'll know for sure then. My goal is to be back into the 200s by my 32nd birthday. It's a goal I hope to shatter well before 12/15/23.
June 16th, 2022: Watched the 2021-22 Boston Celtics season come to a screeching halt at Game 6 of the NBA Finals: Presented by YoutubeTV. We'll always have those first few minutes.
June 18th, 2022: Had the first puker in my 6+ year ub** career.
June 29th, 2022: the driver's dilemma...she had a great ass too...it would've been my honor to eat it (consensually of course)
July 2nd, 2022: Steely Dan live at Mansfield with 2 buds! I was too embarrassed to ask them to take a pic in front of the sign and ended up with this.
I get why they didn't, but man would I have loved to hear "Only a Fool Would Say That." I love so many Steely Dan songs, but that's my all time fave.
July 5th, 2022: Witnessed the most pointless spare "tire" of all time.
July 6th, 2022: Sold my Pontiac to some randos from Facebook Marketplace. The dude showed me a knife he brought and mentioned that he had a gun in his car! High key thought I was gonna die during the test drive, his wife was weaving through traffic at like 60 in a 35.
(continued): hit 5,000 career ubies--currently sit at 6,242...sadly that 0 ticket stat would die by the end of the month.
July 14th, 2022: drove a wine bottle the size of a 3rd grader.
July 19th, 2022: Years of white privy finally caught up to me. I got my first ever speeding ticket while on a call with my therapist. Before this, I had been pulled over at least 20 times with warnings thanks to being a pizza delivery guy and ubah driver. Oinker was camped at the bottom of the Jamestown Bridge smh. That's not speeding, it's gravity. Technically, I got a ticket for an illegal u-turn in 2009 after I got in a car accident where I crashed into my junior prom date, but I wasn't pulled over then, so this was the first time I got a ticket after getting pulled over. Of course it was Jamestown.
(later rescinded thanks to my good driving record)
July 21st, 2022: Went to KFC Radio live and pussied out at an opportunity that could've been my big break (but I had a legit excuse)
July 22nd, 2022: Was a piece of meat for some passenger (I loved it).
July 26th, 2022: Went to Cobra Man in Boston with a bunch of friends and had a panic attack during the skate video portion of the show, but rallied for the main event.
After the show ended, I was omw to the bathroom when this dude asked me to take a pic with him, then the chick jumped in. They took a bunch, but I only got this massive quintuple chin one via airdrop (which took like 3 minutes irt, which felt like years).
July 27th, 2022: Had what was hopefully not the last Choco Taco of my life.
August 3rd, 2022: Got reaaally into craiyon (former Dall-e 2)
August 6th, 2022: Posted my most successful (likes wise) tweet of my career. The video I replied to is fucking hysterical. Top 5 funniest short videos I've seen in 2022.
August 8th-9th: Went to the ER because I took a melted edible leftover from Cobra Man that had me thinking I was a goner. I legit thought that was it for ya boi. I felt my head pop and soul get sucked out of my body. I haven't an eddie since, but full disclosure...I've been ripping the bowl while building this blog. It's currently 1:30 am on my birthday and I haven't gotten a single "happy birthday" message yet which I'll let slide since it's late and I'm 31. Nobody cares about single 31 year olds bday and that's how it should be. Besides I'm 29.
I was at the ER so long that I came down and knew I was good, but got wrapped up in precautionary tests. Like when I first got there, I got my vitals taken, a few other things and sent back to the waiting room for like an hour and thought I was gonna go home. Then three hours later I'm getting my 2nd ultrasound of 2022...did not see that coming going into the year. But as a big dude, I've had a ton of anxiety about my heart and just like dropping dead, so it was worth the $100 co-pay for peace of mind. It's weird, I've had nights were I've taken way more edibles and nothing happens and this night I have 50 mg and spend around five hours at Kent.
August 13th, 2022: Went to my 2nd Jimmy Buffet concert. TBH, I consider it 1.5 shows cause I passed out at my first one in 2016 after I got QB sneaked. Sorry again for sleeping too late for your pick up Z & Em!
August 17th: Got my first anxiety meds. I think I started them on the 22nd though. They've worked wonders so far.
(continued): and gave Netflix some much needed constructive criticism---if you watched that doc you know exactly what I'm talking about.
August 25th, 2022: dunked on Curt Schilling
September 3rd, 2022: Went bowling for my boy Z's 30th. I think I broke 100 once in three games...and had double digit gutter balls.
September 4th, 2022: Drafted this team (pick 10 of 12) that ended up finishing in 4th place (8-6). I think my season ends this week, but regardless, I'm a great GM (even though Renfrow, Hines, and every pick after Mostert are no longer on team Cookin Up Sutton Good). Kelce was a ballsy pick that paid off. Sutton and Gabe Davis have been major disappointments. I picked up Watson from the Packers for $27 after the Cowboys game and he's been huge for me. Spent $21 on Curtis Samuel after week 1 and he's had some nice games for me as well; the same can be said for Cole Kmet ($4).
unfortunately, I broke a cone at the draft (luckily I salvaged the reefer).
September 12th, 2022: had a tweet making fun of Matt Patricia (who must be fired) featured on Barstool. This was great news to wake up to at 3pm.
September 14th, 2022: my 3rd Florence show, but sadly another show without a group photo. Actually I think we got a few, they just aren't on my phone and I'm not about to ask for them at this hour. Obvi Flo crushed it per usual, but I wish she played more of her classics and less of her latest album. I get that's how it's gonna go when you're on that album's tour; it's just fucking crazy that I've been to 3 Florence + the Machine shows and still haven't seen "No Light, No Light."
Like "Big God" fucking sucks, Flo should perform "Queen of Peace" at every show...it's maybe her best live song.
September 15th, 2022: helped my dad (handed him tools) change my brakes when he was in town for one wedding and a funeral.
September 16th: Outlaw Fest (Avett Brothers, Billy Strings, and Willie Nelson) with my aunt and Z. My roommate went too with his cousin and they tailgated with us beforehand. I bought a $50 Willie Nelson shirt because I was hashtag drunk. It's a swaggy T tho.
October 23rd, 2022: innovated better than Elon
October 29th, 2022: went to two Halloween parties as Argyle from Stranger Things. Would it have been better if I was with people also dressed as characters from ST? You bet, but I still looked great and my luscious locks got countless compliments (yes, that's the same bathroom as the viral brown toilet from June 2nd).
continued: Michael has since deleted his twitter (can't blame him), but I'm glad he got to be a part of this tweet
November 3rd, 2022: The 1975 at Mohegan. They're one of my favorite bands so I wasn't missing this show (especially at that price point).
It was my 3rd career solo concert (HAIM, 2018; Kings of Leon; 2021), but luckily someone I went to high school with found me and stayed with me for like half the show until she left to the go to the bathroom but couldn't get back onto the floor (which I had warned her of).
November 7th, 2022: started going to the gym consistently for the first time since before Covid. Got a major sign from my guys/possibly God??
November 10th, 2022: Nathan numbies
November 12-13th, 2022: went to Boston for my buddy's 31st b-day. Went to Senses Failed & rocked out like I was in 7th grade and saw a dude in a Wendy's uniform in the pit.
in the trenches
November 14th, 2022: posted a TikTok making fun of fascist Qunt MTG at Planet Fitness that went baby-viral.
November 18th, 2022: woke up to the devastating news that my baby-viral TikTok was removed. What a bummer on the Jonestown "anniversary."
November 20th, 2022: new high score...can I get a HASHTAG GOOD GUY??!??!
December 5th, 2022: admitted that I fucked up waiting so long to get my back played with
December 6th, 2022: Hit 45 minutes of cardio in one gym session for the first time since I started working out again. When I first started, I could barely make it 20.
December 9, 2022: Posted Shit Ubah Drivers Hear to TikTok. It has 1300 likes and counting. Not to suck my own dick, but I knocked this out of the park...especially when you consider that I didn't write a script.
December 14th-15th: Spent nearly 8 hours creating a recap of my age 30 season and didn't even mention that including this piece, I've written 378 blogs in 2022. Not bad for a passion project. I love writing and couldn't think of a better way to spend the first five hours of my 31st birthday. If you made it through this whole blog and actually watched the videos (I get it if you didn't watch all the concert stuff, but the content pieces really help paint the picture) thank you so much. Even if you didn't watch a single video, thank you for reading this blog. It truly means so much to me that anybody reads my stuff. I used Grammarly up to like March and gave this a couple read throughs, but I'll run it through Grammarly tomorrow. Sorry if there's some typos, I was just trying to include as much stuff as I could. I hope you laughed or learned something. It's now 5:12 am (and still haven't gotten a single hbd) and I need get some shut eye. Once I wake up, I'm gonna send this to some Barstool people and see what happens. It's time to truly go for it. #HireDozo
Song: Last Christmas (1984)
This is completely unrelated to today's SOD, but I fucking HATE Elon Musk and anybody who simps for him. This song's a banger, though, and sadly, George Michael died on Christmas. I'll never forget hearing that terrible news on the radio omw home from my Grandma's house. I was passing where Benny's used to be in Middletown. R.I.P. Benny's and George Michael. You're both missed dearly.
First-runner up in today's SOD could've been "Sad But True" by Metallica.