If you've ever read DOL before (to anybody at Barstool reading for the first time, welcome to DOL) then you know sometimes spelling can be troublesome for your boy Dozie.
I blame that on my old man, who after nearly 20 years of marriage to a woman named Kathi still does not know how to spell her name correctly. It's honestly mind boggling. Still can't figure out it doesn't end with a Y I suppose. Also for every Christmas since I can remember there's been a gift labeled "Danny" for my step sister, who like all women spell it "Dani". Really hope it's just a troll move because at this point I'm starting to get worried. But I digress. The apple really doesn't fall far from the tree, I suppose. Like my fat genes, and lack of rhythm, I can blame this on my pops.
But it's okay, in 2017 you really don't need to know how to spell. As long as you can get in the same ballpark of the word Google or spell check can usually help you out. Of course we've all had those times where even those services throw up their hands and are like "bruh wtf are you trying to tell me". Definitely a humbling moment, but for the most part technology has been able to help.
Speaking of Google and technology, with this week being dubbed #spellingbee week thanks to the Scripps National Spelling currently taking place, Google has released the most Googled "how to spell___________" words via state. Let me tell you as someone who struggles with spelling I saw many words that I was like "really, bro, you can't spell __________", some I could totally understand where the people of X state were coming from, and then some where you're just embarrassed for them as whole.
Enough with the shitty introduction, let's just dive in with the top 5 easiest words that states don't know how to spell. This is pretty self explanatory, these are easy words (IMO) that many people don't know how to spell.
Top 5 Easiest Words States Don't Know How to Spell
5. South Dakota: "College"
All I know about South Dakota is that Mount Rushmore is there and that I'll probably never set foot in the state. But what I need to know is has nobody is South Dakota seen Animal House? It only features the most iconic use of the word "college" of all time. More than any actual real college, so even if you can't get into or afford school there's no excuse to not know how to spell this 7 letter word. It's only the most famous portrayal of the word ever.
Maybe they don't have colleges in South Dakota? Because if they did they'd know one in about every four dorm rooms has some version of this poster.
4. New Hampshire: "Europe"
I'm not a great speller, but I mean I can do all of the continents. At least the real ones, nobody can live in Antarctica, so it doesn't count.
3. Mississippi: "Nanny"
I know intelligence and Mississippi go together like Israel and Palestine, but come on guys. It has fucking 5 letters, and 3 of them are the same! If you have N you have 60% of the word! Where are you having trouble figuring this one out?
2. North Carolina: "Angel"
At first I almost wasn't going to include this one because I mean I can almost understand the confusion between "angel" and "angle" but then I thought about it. No I can't understand the confusion, take two seconds and sound it the fuck out, you inbred hicks. angEL. EL, EEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLL. Not that hard! Although since nobody at UNC ever has gone to class maybe it's finally coming back to haunt them.
1. New Mexico: "Banana"
Much like "angel", momentarily (another word I needed spell check for) I almost didn't include this on the easy list, but then I thought about it for a second. Gwen Stefani took it upon herself to make sure everybody knows how to spell that potassium (actually got that right first try!) filled fruit.
It's inexcusable to not take the advice of Gwen, she even had a fucking marching band there to help. If that doesn't permanently ingrain a spelling into your brain, IDK what will.
Unlike people, not every word on this list is created equal. Some are definitely (needed help there) a challenge. Here are (according to ole dozie) the top 5 most understandable misspellings.
Top 5 Most Understandable Misspellings
At least with these ones you can understand why people are having trouble getting the correct spelling.
Honorable Mention: West Virginia & Connecticut "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious"
I said most understandable, and while I totally get why people don't know how to spell this word. I don't get how it is the most googling word to spell in two of our 50 states. I guess Mary Poppins still holds up 53 years later? Can't lie I did love that chim-chimney song as a kid. It's a classic movie, but just can't wrap my head around that being the most pressing spelling issue in two states in the year 2017. Being the most ridiculous word on the list doesn't guarantee you entry to the top 5.
5. Tennessee: "Chaos"
While only 5 letters long, in my head those letters together don't make any sense being the word chaos. I understand DNA better than I understand how those letters create that word. For me this is one of the words that spellcheck has told me they've got nothing for me. Try to avoid using it in my writing for that very reason. Can't waste 5 minutes of time trying to get close enough for spellcheck to throw me a bone.
4. Pennsylvania: "Sauerkraut"
For the life of me I would've guessed it's "sourkrout". Sorry, I don't like nasty bitter cabbage. Or Nazis. (Never forget) So any German word I'm out on. Also if there was ever going to be a state that had it's own name on the list that I'd understand, it'd be Pennsylvania. I'm probably like 3 for 100,000 on getting it correct the first time. But (foreshadow alert!) we'll get to that issue later.
3. Delaware & Indiana: "Hallelujah"
I knew I was going to be typing in Hallelujah as I made this blog and still had to look at my notes piece of paper to get it correct. Just a tough one. Anytime you throw a j in the equation all bets are off.
2. Arkansas & South Carolina "Chihuahua"
Straight up, when I first looked at this list I had to stop for a second and try to figure out what that word even was. Had to google image it just to be safe. No shame in not knowing how to spell Chihuahua.
1. Washington, Michigan , Alabama & Maine "Pneumonia"
Dead ass facts B: I've never spelled pneumonia correctly in my entire life.
If you know how to spell pneumonia you're 100% in the minority. I'd guess 35% of Americans could get it right the first time, and even that may be too high. There's a reason it was #1 for 4 states. Granted with Alabama you'd expect a word like "Cousin" or "is it illegal to marry" but I guess most of them already know the deal.
Finally, I leave you with the top 5 most alarming words states don't know how to spell. The difference between this and just straight up easy words from earlier, are that these are just scary that they don't know how to spell it. I'm pretty sure my future boss, Dave Portnoy once said that spelling is the lowest form of human intelligence, but I think even he'd be worried about these mistakes.
Top 5 Most Alarming Misspellings By State
Do not let these people hold your money or watch your children.
Honorable Mention: Georgia: "Grey"
Unlike most of the top 5 here, this is on the most alarming list because it made me scratch my head too. I've always thought that grey was like a bi-spelling word in that it could go either way. Like isn't theater and theatre both acceptable? I thought Grey and Gray was the same way. Who knew? (apparently not me or the entire state of Georgia)
5. North Dakota: "Dilemma"
What is going on in North Dakota where everybody is googling how to spell dilemma? I don't think it's because they want to listen some Nelly and Kelly Rowland from '02. I think something fishy is going on in ND and we need to keep an eye out on these guys. What is the dilemma? I think this could be a positive from the list as a whole that we might be able to uncover what's going on up there. This could be a cry for help..
4. Hawaii: "People"
I know that Hawaiians like kind of hate Americans so right off the bat they're already on my bad side, but like yo, you know you're a person, right? That you and more than one person becomes a group of people. How do you not know how to spell what you fucking are? It's like if I couldn't spell depressed, or Lebron couldn't spell cry baby bitch.
3. Rhode Island "Liar"
Ironically, I live in Rhode Island and fucked this up in a text last weekend, although in my defense I was drunk and corrected myself right away.
What worries me is given Rhode Island's shady history, you'd think a bunch of liars and cheaters would be able to spell what they're doing, and I mean come on it's only 4 letters. This is how you get caught lying when you are fucking googling the correct spelling to a 3rd grade word.
2. Idaho: "Quote"
I get that "q" words are rare by nature, but dude/dudette whenever a word has a Q in it, 99% of the time it is followed by a u. I feel like Iraq is the only exception (s/o paramore) If there's one thing I remember from elementary school it is that. U after Q.
Also it's spelt literally exactly how it sounds. No tricks here. Qu-OTE. What do they think it's "quoat"? I don't get it.
Lastly, when I think of "q" words, quote is preeeeetty close to the top, probably after "queen". While I admittedly have my own issues with spelling, if you don't know how to spell quote you are a stupid person, plain and simple.
1. Wisconsin: "Wisconsin"
There's nothing more embarrassing than misspelling your own name. I can remember back in 5th grade I wrote "Ryam" on an assignment by accident, and then by 6th grade I was in another school system. I don't think that was a coincidence (nailed it first try nbd).
Seriously was there ever any doubt what #1 would be? This immediately caught my eye when I first looked at the map. I just don't understand how so many people wouldn't be able to spell the state they are currently living in. I guess if you wanna blame anybody, maybe you can blame it on T-Pain?
But even then, that song came out in what 2008? Wisconsin has been "Wisconsin" as a state since 1848. So they've had plenty of time to get the spelling down pat. Generations of families have lived in the cheese state (they call it that right?) there is no excuse to not know the proper spelling. Especially when it's easy AF.
I live in Narragansett, RI which is wayyyy harder to spell than Wisconsin, but I know it like the back of my hand. When you live somewhere and are exposed to it everyday, usually that helps you remember how to spell it. Especially when it's where you currently are. But what do I know? Other than that people is Wisconsin love cheese and can't even spell where they are. Maybe we can blame the MillerCoors brewing company as well?
That wraps up the breakdown of most googled "how to spell__________" by states in this great nation of ours. What do you think were the easiest ones, most understandable mistakes and ones that just made you feel second-hand stupidity for how they were on the list?
Thanks for reading!
Artist: The Aces
Found this song on an alt rock playlist on apple music and was instantly hooked. That little guitar riff is infectious it's been in my head since the weekend. This song should've been a huge hit it's soooo good. Everybody knows Dozo loves a good all-girl band.
It's never too late to graduate.
That's the lesson World War II veteran Milton Mockerman shared with the Kalkaska High School class of 2017 with whom he graduated on Saturday.
Mockerman, 89, received an honorary diploma from the school and participated in its graduation ceremony in Kalkaska, Michigan, fulfilling his lifelong dream of earning a high school degree -- 71 years later than expected.
"We got a phone call from Milton Mockerman wondering if there were any classes he could take to finish his graduation," Kalkaska High School Principal John Sattler told CNN.
Sattler soon learned that Mockerman had forged his birth certificate and left high school early to join the Navy during World War II. After serving in the Navy for two and a half years, Mockerman returned home to Michigan and needed to find work. He found a few odd jobs before going to work on the railroad for 31 years.
After hearing Mockerman's story, Sattler and his secretary wanted to help the military vet accomplish his goal. They went to the board of education to ask if they could award him an honorary diploma, and the board voted unanimously to do so.
"Because of his years of service in the military, we ... gave him an honorary diploma," Sattler said.
Before graduating with the senior class, Mockerman spoke to a few of the high school history classes about his experiences in the war.
At the graduation ceremony, Mockerman received his honorary degree and said a few words to the graduating seniors.
"I didn't know what to say, so I just kind of told them, 'Well, you've proved to me today that this high school graduating class must be smarter than I am,'" Mockerman told CNN. "Because what they took four years to do, it took me 71 years to come to that conclusion."
Mark Mockerman, Milton's son, attended the graduation ceremony.
"It was one of the greatest things I've seen," Mark Mockerman told CNN. "My dad hasn't had a lot of notoriety, and he deserves it, because he's been the kind of dad that everyone should have had. He's always there for me."
First off, congratulations to Milton Mockermann. Incredibly cool story to see an 89 year old World War II vet get to finally fulfill one of his life long dreams. This dude left school to join the Navy then worked on the railroad for 31 years when he got back. That's one tough SOB. Milton would probably kick my ass today at 89 years old.
Stories from World War II vets like this always blow my mind. It was just completely different world back then. Levels of Patriotism that you can't even imagine. You were a pussy in their eyes if you didn't go to war. Even Major Leaguers left to serve. They're called the Greatest Generation for a reason. They were heroes. There will never be another like them. Dudes were fucking forging their birth certificates to go serve their country before turning 18. They just don't make people like Milton Mockerman anymore. On my 18th birthday I went to the Mews with my mom for dinner and then went to a high school basketball game, this dude had already been serving in the U.S. Navy for months. I'm 25 and I'm still basically a kid. These dudes were killing Nazis at the same age we were getting our learners permits.
Just think about that for a second, this guy lied about his age to go serve and protect his country. I'm sure there's handfuls of people around now who would do that, but stories like Milton's are not that uncommon during that time period. There's stories of kids as young as 14 lying about their age to serve their country. This triggered snowflake fidget spinner generation would never in a million years consider dropping out of their montessori schools to serve. Wouldn't happen. Parents wouldn't allow it either. My mom gets worried if I drive after taking a nap. These dude's parents gave them the okay to leave for war. Even as a history guy I can't fathom that this how the world used to work.
Again, congratulations to Milton Mockermann for getting to fulfill a livelong dream, he sure as hell deserved to do it.
Last night the Pittsburgh Penguins beat the (my) Nashville Predators 5-3 in Game 1 of the 2017 Stanley Cup Finals in one of the most bizarre hockey games I've ever seen. The Penguins were dominated defensively, only registering 12 shots on goal, but 5 of them went in (one was an empty netter) to take Game 1. Pekka Rinne had a lacrosse goalie performance allowing 4 goals on 11 shots for a .636 save percentage.
This pretty much sums up Game 1 for the Predators.
P.K. Subban of the Preds looked to have scored the opening goal of the Finals only to have it called back on suspect at best offside call.
The game was scoreless until late in the 1st when Pittsburgh scored two goals of their own just over a minute apart from each other.
The Pens ended the 1st period with a 3rd score aided by a Preds own goal to take a 3-0 lead going into the 2nd period.
Yet despite their shaky play early it was the Predators who were dominating the game, they only scored once in the 2nd period.
Nashville held Pittsburgh without a shot on goal for the entire 2nd and most of the 3rd. Eventually the Preds would tie the game at 3-3.
During the entire comeback Smashville did not allow Pittsburgh to register a single shot on goal, so of course after a shotless 37 minutes, there first in over half a game results in this:
Pens would end up adding in an empty netter to win 5-3.
I'm biased because I hate Pittsburgh sports and have grown to love (as a friend) the Preds during this Cinderella run, but even though it wasn't the result I wanted as a "fan" it was still an incredible hockey game. I used to love the NHL but kind of fell out of love until the playoffs this year. I've been trying to get back into the sport, because it is a great sport, especially in the postseason. They should call the Stanley Cup Playoffs Tina Turner because they're simply the best. That game got me reaaally excited for the rest of this series.
However the NHL for some reason airs two games of the Stanley Cup Final every year on NBCSN. It has been something I've hated for a very long time.
Now I don't know the whole contract situation going on so there could be a very simple explanation to this, but as a fan, and more importantly, as a casual fan of hockey the idea to have multiple games of the Stanley Cup Final on NBCSN is idiotic to me. I mean it's the Stanley Cup Finals, it deserves better treatment than the relegation to cable tv. Could you imagine if the World Series had two games on Fox Sports or the if the NBA Finals were on NBA TV? No you couldn't because like me you have a brain and realize that is stupid for the exposure of the sport.
Hockey is miles away from the other three major pro sports in North America in terms of popularity, so you'd think they'd want to do everything possible to gain more viewers and try to grow the game, right?
Instead two games of the Stanley Cup Finals are on NBCSN. NBC sports net formerly known as Versus. Granted, it's not as obscure of a channel is it once was, the vast majority of households in the U.S. that pay for TV get NBCSN, 70.1% according to wikipedia, but 100% of TVs in America get NBC.
I'd bet that a whole bunch of people don't even know they have NBCSN. Like there's a 0.0001% chance my dad knows we have NBCSN. It's just kind of hidden to the average person. Like you probably have the Smithsonian network too and never realized. Obviously hockey diehards know all about the network, but to a casual fan just scrolling through the channels I feel like NBC is much more likely to get turned on accidently.
The ratings have shown that being on NBCSN hurts the game. It's simply available to less people. This isn't exactly rocket science. In the 2013 Stanley Cup Final games 2 and 3 were on NBCSN, both had over 2 million less viewers than 3 out of the 4 games broadcasted on NBC. In 2014 game 2 of the Stanley Cup Final was on NBC and had 6.4 million viewers, when the series switched to NBCSN for games 3 and 4 the ratings dropped to 2.9 million and 3.4 million respectively, before getting 8.0 million on NBC for game 5 when the Kings won the Stanley Cup in double OT. In 2015 games 3 and 4 had over a million fewer viewers than the lowest NBC game. Game 2 to 3 saw a 2.7 million viewer drop alone. I could keep giving you stats but I think you see the point.
As a casual hockey fan, who actually cares about the future of the NHL as a whole, I just don't understand for the life of me why they'd broadcast two games of what is supposed to be biggest broadcast of the league's top talent on NBCSN. How much better can the ratings of some crappy summer replacement show or reruns be than the fucking Stanley Cup Finals? I just don't understand how this is good for the game, to have what should be it's biggest event of the year on cable where they're missing out on potentially millions of viewers and new fans.
Artist: Paolo Nutini
Album: Sunny Side Up (2009)
Just found out about Paolo last weekend and I'm absolutely obsessed. Only took me 8 years to find this song! What a voice on this guy. Simply a beautiful song. Very excited to dive in deeper to his backlog because this song is incredible.
Live late night blog!!
Artist: Tame Impala
Album: Currents (2015)
HBO just renewed Silicon Valley for a fifth season, but Vulture has learned one key cast member won’t be back. T.J. Miller, who plays tech incubator/marijuana maven Erlich Bachman is leaving the show at the end of the current season. “The producers of Silicon Valley and T.J. Miller have mutually agreed that T.J. will not return for season five,” a rep for HBO tells us. “In Erlich Bachman, T.J. has brought to life an unforgettable character, and while his presence on the show will be missed, we appreciate his contribution and look forward to future collaborations.” News of Miller’s departure had been rumored in Hollywood for weeks, but HBO officials declined to comment on the speculation until today’s renewal was announced.
There are only two shows that are currently still on the air that I watch every week: New Girl and Silicon Valley.
Well like two weeks ago it was announced that New Girl is ending with a bullshit only 8 episode 7th season set 3 years in the future. Now there is even more heartbreak for ole dozo on the television front as Silicon Valley will be returning next year without arguably it's most important character, Erlich Bachman.
While there's no doubt the show is about rise and fall, and rise again of Richard Hendricks. The entire show to this point would not be possible without Erlich Bachman and his incubator, where Richard, Jared, Dinesh, Gilfoyle, and Jain-Yang all live and work. He's the straw that stirs the drink, or in his case, the narrow spoon that mixes the Fage yogurt.
Whether it be his ever changing facial hair, constantly referencing his 10% stake in Pied Piper, how out of touch he is with the tech world, his way too expensive tastes given his means, his relationship with Jain-Yang, slapping children, or his one ridiculous liners, Erlich was always one of, if not the funniest character on Silicon Valley.
I'm just really bummed out that the show is going to go on without him. I honestly don't even know how it will be possible. Silicon Valley without Erlich and his incubator is like pizza a without cheese or dough. It makes me wonder how much more it could actually go all together? To me this feels like the beginning of the end for SV. Like I can't imagine there being 3 seasons of Erlich-less Silicon Valley.
My friend Pat said it perfectly about the loss of Erlich for the show.
I also don't think it was a mutual-decision for one second. I don't think T.J. Miller would want to leave Silicon Valley. He's had a nice career for sure, but to me this is the best work he's ever done. It just sucks and want legit answers.
With only 5 episodes left in this season, it means there's only 5 more episode left with Erlich. Enjoy some his best moments.
Last night the dismantling and destruction of the Boston Celtics by the Cleveland Cavaliers finally concluded after a 135-102 Cavs win. But please don't let the score fool you, it wasn't even that close. Game was over about 5 minutes into the first. But hey, the Celtics did had the Cavs their only loss of the playoffs to this point!
I'll get more into the C's autopsy after, but this is all about Lebron postgame.
In a postgame interview Lebron was talking about all the things he did growing up to be like Mike (Michael Jordan). Whether it be shooting fadeaways at young age, or wearing similar on court accessories. You don't hear the question in the clip but I'm guessing something was brought up about Lebron passing MJ as the all time leading playoff scorer.
You know what? I'll just let you watch this one for yourself.
Now I don't know about his baldness being "post-career" because even after 14 years his career has shown no signs of slowing down. The same can not be said for his rapidly fading hairline.
I hate to give Lebron any credit, on or off the court, but this was a pretty funny line coming from him. Just on pure shock factor alone. I've never heard him mention his hair before. Now that I think about it he was actually kind of funny in that Trainwreck movie too. But 99.9% of the time it's nothing but Lebron hate from me. Never in a million years did I expect him to shit on his horrible hairline, that has been very well documented for what feels like a decade now.
While he still may be a little in the dark if he thinks his baldness will be "post-career" since it started in like 2009 it was just nice to see the guy who takes himself wayyyy too seriously make fun of himself. See how easy it is to make yourself seem semi-likable, if even for a moment?
Until now I honestly didn't even know for a fact if Lebron knew he was going bald. Felt nice to get some closure. I feel like everybody he's ever talked to since he was about 14 years old has just said yes to whatever he asks, so it wouldn't shock me if he had asked someone in his crew (can't say posse because apparently that's racist) about his hair and told him he has perfect waves. Just refreshing to see Lebron poke a little fun at himself.
Honestly I don't know why Lebron hasn't done anything about it yet. I mean he has all the money he'll ever need, definitely could get some good plugs. Or just say fuck it, and rock the bald head. We all know he could. Black dudes can always pull off the bald look. It's a strong, powerful look. Us whiteys just look like we have cancer.
However the winner of the clip might actually be Tristian Thompson. His reactions to Lebron is gold, definitely the first time he's ever heard Lebron be a little self deprecating.
Best one by a mile
Soooooo yeah, this was tweeted out three days ago, but I'm just seeing it now. Sorry, I'll try to do better next time. A friend of mine just retweeted it so it's now coming to my attention. I just don't follow NFC South twitter, guess that's on me. Normally I like stay current and try to not blog old stories, but I just couldn't let this one slip through the cracks.
On Monday the Tampa Bay Buccaneers tweeted out a promotion about their official Buccaneers Fidget Spinners.
Nothing too noteworthy here. Just an NFL franchise trying to capitalize on one of the hottest trends going. Smart move by the Bucs.
Then the Atlanta Falcons, fresh off their 25 point blown lead in the Super Bowl thought they could bust some Buccaneers' balls asking what they're nervous about since that's one of the purposes of these spinners.
In which, the Bucs replied to with a not so subtle jab at them for what went down in early February.
I don't know who runs the Falcons twitter account, but come on bro be better. I'm not a big try to get people fired guy, but the Falcons should fire this person for incompetence.
You gotta know you're very susceptible jokes about blowing a 25 point lead in the Super Bowl. 28-3 is the new Warriors blew a 3-1 lead with the unanimous MVP. By throwing some unprovoked shade at the Bucs, you're basically just asking for it. That's just how the internet works, I didn't make the rules. As someone getting paid to be on the internet, you gotta know better. Can't be throwing 72 mph fastballs down the middle and not expect to have someone take you deep.
Have to keep a low profile. People are gonna talk shit. I'm sure you get 28-3 shit in the replies of every tweet you do. But those aren't even funny, they're just lazy and you can live with that. But you don't have to open your front door and invite them in your home to do it. Just gotta do whatever you can do to not have it brought up. Your tweet was not a good practice of that.
Quick story time: When I was 15 years old I went to a party and got so drunk that I went to the hospital. Could've died. I also happened to shit my pants.
How do you think school went for me that year?
I'll tell you, not well!
When your nickname is "party-pooper" you gotta know, even if you have a great line for some (no pun intended) shit talk that they have the ultimate trump card in "Whatever party pooper" or "Well you shit your pants". Something like that. So it was best for me to try to not do things where that would happen. It took years to stop getting made fun of for it. Sure now I'll joke about it, but it really fucking sucked at the time.
So Falcons, since your choke job brought me great joy, the least I can do is give you a solid piece of advice. People are going to make 28-3 jokes for possibly the rest of eternity. Try to not give them golden opportunities to roast you for all of the internet to see. The only thing you can do to make them stop is win a Super Bowl. I know since you're the Atlanta Falcons that is probably not going to happen anytime soon. I really am expecting a disaster 6-10 like follow up after blowing that big of a lead in record time. But for your own sake, and this is going to be extremely ironic coming from me given all the stupid stuff I've said online, just think before you hit send.
I'm sure 28-3 jokes will die at some point, but I just don't see it coming anytime soon. There's a significant chance the Falcons never recover. This may ruin them as a franchise. Also as a person who watches the Super Bowl LI comeback about 4 times a week I still cannot believe it happened. Obviously the Patriots ended up showing how great they are, but just from a time and decision stand point it is almost impossible to believe the Pats came back. The Falcons had the ball on the Pats 21 or 22 yard line after that crazy Julio catch up 8 with under 4 minutes left and ended up punting. 1000% inexcusable.
This is hilarious