Well, well, well it appears after a forgettable month or so stretch for both David Price and the Boston Red Sox that David Price now is injured and has been placed on the disabled list. If you're unaware of what's been going on with the Sox David Price ripped Hall of Famer Dennis Eckersley on the team plane after he said "Yuck" referencing an Eduardo Rodriguez minor league rehab start. Before that he had players sarcastically clap when he (Eck) walked on the plane, then he ripped him. It's been the biggest story in local sports radio. Everybody on earth thinks Price owes Eck an apology except for the people who owe him one the most. Ever since it's been like chicken and beer part 2 in the Red Sox clubhouse as the team continues to struggle 6-8 since the All Star break. John Farrell has done nothing, but make the situation worse. 

In what would've been David Price's first start at Fenway since more details about "clapgate" came out he has been scratched from said start, and placed on the 10 day DL with an elbow issue. While I do believe there could be a legit physical issue since that elbow was giving Price issues earlier in the season, which caused him to start the year on the DL. I also think there's a slight chance this could be more of a mental break for the already very mentality soft, David Price. I don't believe this was done to avoid a massive booing tonight, but at the same time, given how the Red Sox work it wouldn't shock me.

As for David Price and all the drama that has been going on all I will say is stop being a fucking pussy. Actually I lied, I have a lot more to say.

David, this team gave you 217 million dollars to be an elite pitcher. Your job is to win baseball games for the Boston Red Sox of the American League Eastern Division in Major League fucking Baseball. Not to talk about your ugly fucking dog Astro, not to hype up your foundation, not to be your friend. Your job is to pitch for the Boston Red Sox. Maybe if you did a good job, and I don't mean, oh look his ERA is a tick under 4.00 good job, I mean a Chris Sale like good job people would like you and care about you off the field. But you haven't, in fact you've done the complete opposite and been a cry baby bitch all year. Wahhh I don't want to talk to the media because they're mean (even though Boston media is a joke now, everybody is on the take from John Henry and being very easy on this group)  You're a baseball player, and you used to be a really fucking good one. Don't you have any pride? Don't you want to succeed? How about instead of crying because people were mean you on twitter, you sack the fuck up and pitch like the ace you were supposed to be.

I think the most frustrating part of this team is that they should be so much better than they are. With the talent this roster has they should not be 53-47 and only now 0.5 game up in the division. Chris Sale has been absolutely dominant and could carry this team in October, if they get there. They've been shut out like 9 or 10 times this season. They've lost multiple Chris Sale starts where he absolutely dominated. This is a mentality weak team with a manager who can't fucking manage that can't handle (well deserved) criticism. This team just wants you to cheer no matter what, even when they are scoring 4 runs a week and can't execute a simple bunt.

It's embarrassing, but what's even more embarrassing is no matter how much I hate the players, I still watch and support this team, but as of now I really am rooting for just the laundry, because a lot of the guys wearing it don't deserve to.  David Price you're an embarrassment, and if the Sox make the playoffs this year I'm fully expecting you to give up 5+ runs in under 3 innings of work. Now be a man and prove everybody wrong for once in your life.

Via: profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2017/07/27/john-urschel-retires-from-nfl/

Offensive lineman John Urschel started 13 games for the Ravens over the last three seasons, but, in general, he has gotten more notice for his mathematical ability than his football ability.

Urschel is going to have more time to crunch numbers in the near future. The Ph.D. candidate at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology has decided to end his playing career.

“This morning John Urschel informed me of his decision to retire from football,” Ravens coach John Harbaugh said in a statement. “We respect John and respect his decision. We appreciate his efforts over the past three years and wish him all the best in his future endeavors.”

Urschel did not provide a statement about his reasons, although his bright future as a mathematician would seem to be the obvious answer. In a 2015 piece he wrote for The Players Tribune, Urschel wrote about being asked why he’d play given that future and the risks inherent to life as a professional football player.

“I play because I love the game,” Urschel wrote. “I love hitting people. There’s a rush you get when you go out on the field, lay everything on the line and physically dominate the player across from you. This is a feeling I’m [for lack of a better word] addicted to, and I’m hard-pressed to find anywhere else.”

Urschel was expected to be in the mix to start at center for the Ravens, who traded last year’s starter Jeremy Zuttah to the 49ers during the offseason. Ryan Jensen and Matt Skura are the other in-house candidates in Baltimore.

The average football fan probably can't name too many offensive linemen. Maybe they can name their favorite team's starting five, but after that who knows? As a former linemen myself, I understand why. Linemen don't have any stats, they're usually fat, probably ugly, they play in the trenches and for the most part get unnoticed.

​As Tom E. Curran once said a left tackle is like a water heater:

"Time for a tortured metaphor. A very good left tackle is like a very good hot water heater. You don’t spend time gushing about the hot water heater when it’s doing its job. You just luxuriate in that warm water. And NFL fans don’t generally spend much time high-fiving over the protection afforded by their left tackle. They just enjoy the damn passing game. When the hot water heater goes out, there’s hell to play. When the left tackle is beaten, same thing."

The offensive line makes everything that happens on the offensive side of the ball possible, yet they usually get none of the credit. 

Not too many people can name backup offensive linemen, but that didn't apply to John Urschel. 

Urschel gained notoriety for being the smartest man in football, thanks to his work in mathematics. 

Now  after a study that showed CTE in 110 of 111 brains of deceased NFL players that John Urschel has decided to give up the game he loves to go be a NERD. He'd rather hit the books, than hit the sled. 

But in all seriousness, I think it's a smart move by Urschel. He's not some All-Pro caliber linemen hanging up his cleats in the middle of his career, he's a backup offensive linemen. A backup offensive linemen whose got a much brighter future after football that he doesn't want to jeopardize.  He just has decided that he'd rather solve quadratic equations on a chalkboard outside a classroom at MIT than trap block defensive ends. 

What I find interesting though, is this new CTE study. While I am in the camp of believing that football can cause serious brain trauma, I do find these new findings a little misleading. It's 110-111 brains that were donated to science. It's not like 110 out of 111 football players will get CTE (at least for now). These are dudes who probably knew that something was wrong. I feel like run of the mill normal people don't donate their body to science. You do when there's a reason science wants you. When you start yanking out your teeth out and gluing them back in, or grabbing a gun to shoot themselves in the heart, it's a pretty good sign things aren't going great inside your head, and maybe it wouldn't be the worst idea to FedEx you brain to Massachusetts. But I also I don't believe that playing football is definitely going to give you brain damage, but it sure ups the odds.

​To me football is like smoking cigarettes. There was a time when people didn't know how deadly cigarettes are. People didn't know how horrible they are for you. There were ads saying shit like how more doctors smoke Camels. Think about how crazy that is for a second. Doctors advertising cigarettes. Now nobody can advertise cigarettes. 

Now we know that smoking cigarettes probably is going to kill you, but people still do it. It's their right to do so (their stupid right). Smokers will love to tell you something like that their grandma smoked a pack of day and lived to 94, but for every one of those there's like a thousand Terrys from that nasty ass commercial dying. 

I don't think it's that extreme in football (but it could be), the main issue was that people were lied to for years and didn't know the repercussions of playing the game. Now that people do, they have the choice to walk away, like John Urschel did.

Even though more and more guys are retiring young to better their chances of avoiding CTE, I don't think football is going to die anytime soon. For every guy who retires there's another 1000 out there fighting to take his job. While I credit John Urschel for walking away to pursue a career in Mathematics, I still believe football will be fine with or without him. Pretty crazy though that there's a human on this planet who was good enough to get drafted, and play in the NFL, that can also be like "Yo fuck this, I'm gonna go to MIT and work on my math theory that is probably going to change the world". 

Song: Fans (live)
Artist: Kings of Leon
​Album: Because of the Times

In honor of seeing them and Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats tonight.

Sorry no blogs today! Busy filming a profile of SK's very own Hedge! Been getting stuff ready all day. Really excited to start shooting. I honestly believe if this video is as good as I am picturing in my head that it could be a launching pad for your boy. Despite a ton of bullshit in my personal life right now I am extremely excited for the future. More videos will be coming. Thanks for all the support so far from everybody who has been reading my stuff from the jump. I'm really hoping that things aren't the same once this video comes out.

So bump some Hedge and enjoy what will be coming soon from DOL!

via: www.tmz.com/2017/07/20/linkin-park-singer-chester-bennington-dead-commits-suicide/

Linkin Park singer Chester Bennington has committed suicide ... TMZ has learned.

Law enforcement sources tell us the singer hanged himself at a private residence in Palos Verdes Estates in L.A. County. His body was discovered Thursday just before 9 AM.

Chester was married with 6 children from 2 wives.

The singer struggled with drugs and alcohol for years. He had said in the past he had considered committing suicide because he had been abused as a child by an older male.

Chester was very close with Chris Cornell, who himself committed suicide by hanging in May. Today would have been Cornell's 53rd birthday. Chester wrote an open letter to Chris on the day of Chris' suicide.

Cornell's wife, Vicky, tweeted out a message following the news of Chester's death, saying, "Just when I thought my heart couldn't break any more ... I love you T."

The band has had a string of hits over the years, including "Faint," "In the End" and "Crawling." Linkin Park crossed music genres, collaborating with Jay-Z.

The band's album, "Meteora," was one of the biggest alternative albums in music history.

Bennington was 41.

RIP

This story broke while I was out to lunch, I would've blogged it sooner, but this is just horrible new.

Chester Bennington, lead singer of the popular nu-metal band Linkin Park has died at the age of 41 from an apparent suicide.

Right away everybody is making comparisons to Chester's good friend; Chris Cornell who too ended his life just two months ago today. In an eerie coincidence today would've been Cornell's 53rd birthday. Bennington performed "Hallelujah" with fellow Linkin Park bandmate Brad Delson at Cornell's funeral weeks ago.

While I definitely fell a little out of touch with the music of Linkin Park there's no denying the impact they had on both music, and people around my age. Hybrid Theory and Meteora were must have cds. If you're around my age and were into either rock or rap, then you probably loved Linkin Park. I know I did. They broke down borders between music fans, even for middle schoolers like me at the time.  Everybody liked Linkin Park. I don't care what music you listened to, everybody liked In The End.

Linkin Park's sound broke down traditional genre guidelines and make a enormous impact on music as a whole. Their debut album Hybrid Theory went diamond and is widely considered one of the greatest debut albums in rock history. It featured singles such as One Step Closer, Runaway, Papercut, and of course their signature song; In The End. ​

I was paying my respects at the gym today by listening to Linkin Park during my work out, and couldn't help but get a little sad while listening. After knowing what happened today obviously Chester was dealing with a ton of inner demons. You hear those lyrics from over 15 years ago, and can hear the pain, they're pretty fucked up. It made me think about everything that Chester must've been dealing with. I don't want to write about rock stars killing themselves anymore, this is horrible. Suicide is always a tragedy. This man had 6 children, I can't imagine the pain he must've been dealing with inside that made this his ultimate option, especially with Linkin Park back in the limelight, about to embark on a tour next week. 

I don't know what else to say other than R.I.P. Chester Bennington. 







P.S. Maybe this is too soon but it made me chuckle

Maybe changing this logo was their first misstep. 

via: providenceonline.com/stories/radio-silence,24147 (written by Julie Tremaine)

It was hard to believe the rumors that WBRU was going up for sale. How could a thing that’s so deeply ingrained in the Providence culture be at risk of ending? But it is. As you read this, the signal that broadcasts WBRU is being shopped around nationally to potential buyers, and what replaces it won’t be anything resembling what WBRU is today.

While the rest of us were busy lamenting the cold and rainy spring, Brown students and the BRU board of directors were deciding the fate of the station over a series of tense meetings. The decision that they came to, faced with the reality of diminishing profits and assets that were steadily losing value, was to sell the 95.5 signal and use that money for different media projects that won’t involve terrestrial radio. It’s nearly impossible that whoever buys the 95.5 will preserve BRU’s alternative sensibility, the one that is a major force in national music and has brought in accolades from the likes of Rolling Stone as “one of the 10 radio stations in the country that doesn’t suck.” While no one on either side of this issue knows the real timing, the consensus is that as soon as the station is sold, which could be any day now, 95.5 WBRU FM as we know it, as this city has known it for more than 50 years, will be gone.

To understand how this is happening, it’s important to understand what WBRU actually is – a non-profit educational student workshop run by Brown Broadcasting Services. Brown University handed over the broadcasting rights to the station in the 1960s, and has had no ownership or oversight since then. Though WBRU has a board of directors, it’s primarily run by students.

There’s a student manager in charge of every department, except sales, though the station does have a few full-time professional employees. The process of how they came to the decision to sell the station is long and complicated, but essentially boils down to this: the board advised the students to sell, and to use the profits to build a different workshop, one that focuses more on programming and less on the day-to-day of running a business. Their plan is to create two 24/7 digital radio streams – one for alternative music, and one for the popular 360 programming that airs on Sundays – and to no longer have an FM signal.

“There’s been a perception that it’s a quick decision, but I’ve been on the board for five years. How to make the workshop successful has been part of the conversation this entire time,” says Ted McEnroe, spokesman for the board of directors and a BRU alum. “There’s a business problem, which is a fundamental one of economics. It’s a challenge for independent radio stations of any kind to succeed in a medium-sized market in this day and age,” he continues. “But there’s a second problem, too, which is a workshop problem.” Potential WBRU students feel as though their time commitments at the station would be too big to balance with their coursework. The current ones feel constrained by the radio landscape and listener habits, and by budget cuts in the past few years. Most are frustrated with the lack of freedom with programming and the amount of airtime they have.

“Our concern is that, if we’re looking to the future, we want to make sure that we’re making decisions right now that help ensure we can keep [providing music] moving forward,” says Brown student and BRU General Manager Kishanee Haththotuwegama. “We’ve been shrinking for so long that we have to get out before it’s too late. We want to exist. We want to keep providing that new music discovery for our listeners. The only thing we’re trying to do is change platforms that they’re reaching us on.”

Behind The Microphone
“It’s a death by 1000 cuts,” says Program Director Wendell Clough, a Brown and BRU student alum who is a longtime full-time employee. “People decided that things added up and they couldn’t make it work. There were too many negatives and not enough positives: running short on income, the dropping value of the FM radio signal, lack of college student interest in broadcasting, the economy in the city of Providence.”

“There was no [serious attempt] to figure a way to take 95.5 FM and create something that people who love it will still recognize,” Clough says, noting that the streaming radio listener is very different than the broadcast listener, and whatever the new form of BRU will be is unlikely to retain much of the current listenership. “They really did turn away and say ‘we’re going to take the money out of that and we’re going to do something else with it.’ And that’s a shame. They weren’t thinking about the audience.” 

The Turnaround Plan
A major voice of dissent for that plan has been Patti Galluzzi, who worked at BRU as a Brown student and who went on to become an important player in the music industry, at one time vice president of music programming at MTV. “I felt like I had to raise my hand and get involved because I was one of the people involved in 1992,” when BRU was in dire financial straits, she says. Patti and other alumni, “helped them hire a new salesperson and a sales consultancy and get their finances back on track. They went from hemorrhaging money to making a tremendous amount of money” through advertising sales.

This time, she, with other alumni and radio professionals, put together a seven-year turnaround plan. “I was very confident that we could save the station like we did in the past,” she says. “We were surprised and disappointed when it felt as though some members of the board who don’t work in radio weren’t open minded to this. They worked very hard to discredit the turnaround plan that we had presented and to convince the students that the plan was not viable and the station was no longer viable.” She also believes that the push to sell out of fear of declining value in the station’s signal is misguided. “If WBRU was a for-profit company, that might be a legitimate way to think about it,” Galluzzi explains. “WBRU is a non-profit, and it’s got some responsibility to the public, who in a way has been helping to subsidize WBRU because it has tax exempt status.”

A recent graduate who still works at the station, Tucker Hamilton, also believes that those who were in favor of selling overcame the resistance of those who weren’t. “We voted and it was a draw. The majority of the station member board wanted to sell, but they needed a two-thirds majority and they didn’t get it,” he says. So they spent time persuading students, and called an unplanned second vote. “I didn’t think it was fair. I didn’t understand how a re-vote could happen. I was one of the few stay-no votes. A lot of people had the original instinct of ‘no, we can’t sell, this is a big deal to us and a big deal to Providence.’ But as committees were formed, they were swayed.”

What The City Will Lose
The fundamental issue here is that WBRU means something different to the students who run it than it does to the listeners. (To check my bias here, I have a long relationship with this station: my earliest memories of loving music include listening to WBRU. It’s impossible for me to write a story about its demise without my own perspective as a lifetime listener, and I do make a short guest appearance on Monday mornings to discuss the week’s upcoming events.) For listeners, it’s a critical piece of Rhode Island entertainment. It’s windows down, radio up, here’s a great new song worth listening to. It’s the Summer Concert Series, when thousands of people gather in Waterplace Park to hear a basically unknown band, simply because we trust BRU to give us good music.

For the students who run the station, BRU is an educational opportunity. It’s a resume builder. But they don’t fully grasp what an integral part of Providence’s culture the station is, how it feeds into our spirit of being cool and independent. Almost none of the students who work there grew up in Rhode Island, so they don’t have memories of being kids and having BRU as their local connection to the national musical culture. They’re creating something important to Providence with no real institutional knowledge of what the station means to the city, and no obligation to listen to industry professionals who do have it. It’s also important to note that of the members of the Board who advised the students to sell, only one of them lives in Providence, and only one is inside the station’s target demographic.

“I was out with three of the students, and they met the guy who had owned [former rock club] Jerky’s. He went on and on about how important the station was. I could just watch them crippling a little,” Wendell Clough says. “None of them had voted to support the board’s resolution to sell. One of them said to me, ‘If only the BRU students had met that person.’ The students have not been part of the conversation,” he believes, about what losing BRU means to the larger community outside of Brown.

“There was a discussion of what it would mean for WBRU to be fully run by radio professionals, because in our mind there isn’t much of a doubt that that’s something that would increase our revenue,” station GM Kishanee Haththotuwegama says. “In looking into what comes next in the media world, it doesn’t necessarily overlap with running the day to day of a radio station. It also doesn’t make sense for us to keep a business if the students aren’t involved in any way. It makes sense to keep the students in the forefront of what’s happening in our organization.

That’s the main issue with the turnaround plan. We’d be relegated to internships. It loses the spirit of what WBRU is.” Galluzzi notes that the turnaround plan called for the hiring of industry consultants who could provide students with data to inform their programming decisions, and that students felt as though that would be too much outside interference in a working environment where they are already uncomfortably restrained.

Though Brown can’t make any decisions about the station, the school has been in favor of saving the station, and has offered its support in various ways, all of which the BRU student government declined. “Brown recognizes WBRU as a tremendous benefit to our community,” says President Christina Paxson. “The station has been a very valuable resource for decades and launched many careers in the media... I would be sad if students could not enjoy these opportunities in the future. But WBRU is entirely independent, and the future of the station is ultimately their decision.”
​
The National Stage
“BRU still matters in a big way to the music industry,” says Jonathan Lev, whose company Jlev is hired by record labels to get artists’ music played on the radio. He believes that the students in power at the station are undervaluing the impact WBRU has on the national music industry, as one of the few remaining stations that breaks alternative music, and that has a responsive audience with an appetite for hearing new bands and attending new shows. “Providence still matters to the music industry. When BRU plays music, it impacts the national market,” helping new bands get their footing and build an audience. “Without it, there’s going to be a huge gaping hole. The airplay that WBRU gives artists is very important on a national level, without a doubt.”

“Without WBRU being a terrestrial signal, the opportunities for new music coming in the market are going to be hugely diminished,” Lev continues. “I feel strongly that Providence is going to lose an institution.” Patti Galluzzi agrees. “They’re going to lose an enormous audience and not be able to move them over to online,” she says. They both believe that’s going to impact how prominently record companies figure Providence into bands’ tours; without BRU’s support playing the music and helping drive ticket sales, fewer and fewer alternative/indie bands will book concerts here. “There are so many people streaming music right now, for them to stand out in that environment it’s going to be very difficult. The people are able to do it well are doing it on the backs of their terrestrial radio stations,” Galluzzi explains, noting that the royalties are much higher for online-only streaming, because record companies want to incentivize terrestrial stations to play their music.
​
“I respectfully disagree with the opinion that they will still matter to the degree that they matter now,” as an online-only stream, Jonathan Lev says. “They should not anticipate that being the case, at least not nationally how the industry perceives WBRU as a stream versus how they perceive it as a terrestrial property. In the streaming world, there’s thousands of online radio stations, and the big streaming services. Record companies just don’t have the time, the money, the manpower to service these entities. They focus on the big ones, that have critical mass.”

“Both the board and the students think they can replace BRU with a stream,” Wendell Clough says. “They think they can do a Summer Concert Series as big as we’re going to have this year, next year, even if BRU is just a stream. People didn’t want to hear from me or others in the industry that that’s not going to happen. They said, ‘But we’ll figure a way to make it happen.’ No, you won’t. They don’t see that.”

Well, this just blows.

I forgot to set my alarm today, so I got up a little later than usual this morning (11:40 yikes). I woke up to one of the worst texts I've ever received; a link to this article making me aware of what is going on around me.

If you didn't read that entire article I don't blame you, but allow me to attempt fill you in. WBRU, Rhode Island's lone alternative station's FM wavelength 95.5 FM is up for sale. Essentially, the future of WBRU is very much so up in the air, but by the looks of things, with the sale it will mean the end of WBRU as we know it.

I'm still trying to wrap my head around Rhode Island with no BRU. I'm starting to think maybe it yet another sign that I need to get out of this place for a little while. I'm just shocked. WBRU has been a staple of Rhode Island's culture since long before I was born, and just like that, it's all about to come crashing down. I had no clue that BRU was "failing" like this. 

Apparently the station will try to stay alive without an FM signal thanks to 24 hour streaming. ​

"The process of how they came to the decision to sell the station is long and complicated, but essentially boils down to this: the board advised the students to sell, and to use the profits to build a different workshop, one that focuses more on programming and less on the day-to-day of running a business. Their plan is to create two 24/7 digital radio streams – one for alternative music, and one for the popular 360 programming that airs on Sundays – and to no longer have an FM signal."

I get it that the ways we consume media are ever changing with technology, but I think WBRU losing its FM signal will be a death sentence for the Providence alt scene. To me, this is most important part of all this. 

“BRU still matters in a big way to the music industry,” says Jonathan Lev, whose company Jlev is hired by record labels to get artists’ music played on the radio. He believes that the students in power at the station are undervaluing the impact WBRU has on the national music industry, as one of the few remaining stations that breaks alternative music, and that has a responsive audience with an appetite for hearing new bands and attending new shows. “Providence still matters to the music industry. When BRU plays music, it impacts the national market,” helping new bands get their footing and build an audience. “Without it, there’s going to be a huge gaping hole. The airplay that WBRU gives artists is very important on a national level, without a doubt.”

“Without WBRU being a terrestrial signal, the opportunities for new music coming in the market are going to be hugely diminished,” Lev continues. “I feel strongly that Providence is going to lose an institution.” Patti Galluzzi agrees. “They’re going to lose an enormous audience and not be able to move them over to online,” she says. They both believe that’s going to impact how prominently record companies figure Providence into bands’ tours; without BRU’s support playing the music and helping drive ticket sales, fewer and fewer alternative/indie bands will book concerts here. “There are so many people streaming music right now, for them to stand out in that environment it’s going to be very difficult. The people are able to do it well are doing it on the backs of their terrestrial radio stations,” Galluzzi explains, noting that the royalties are much higher for online-only streaming, because record companies want to incentivize terrestrial stations to play their music.

Providence is huge for the rock scene. If you ever listen to BRU there's seemingly hundreds of clips from artists saying something along the lines of "I'm _______ of _______ and you're listening to BRU". BRU is where alternative artists go to promote their local shows, and music in general. Simply put, without BRU that isn't going to happen anymore. I feel like slowly Providence will have less and less acts come to The Dunk, Lupos, or the Met. They'll be no station to promote their work. This will have a negative impact on Providence and the state as a whole. 

I've gotten sidetracked from this post from the O.J. Parole hearing, but overall this is really shitty news and it breaks my heart. BRU is one of two radio stations I listen to. It's been part of my life since as long as I can remember. I hate that this is happening and hope that somehow a last minute Hail Mary can save WBRU.

Song: Sit Next To Me
Artist: Foster The People
Album: Sacred Hearts Club

via: www.deathandtaxesmag.com/338431/oj-simpson-parole-masturbating-cell/

Former “Naked Gun” star O.J. Simpson is up for parole this week, after serving nine years of a 33-year sentence for kidnapping and robbery (but not, astoundingly, murder). Previous reports have indicated Simpson might have a decent chance at getting out of prison, but a new scoop from the Daily Mail suggests his carnal urges might prevent him from seeing the light of day (not the murdering though, that’s still chill).

According to a prison source, Simpson was caught whacking it in his cell by a female correctional officer in June. The Juice is facing a disciplinary hearing for that infraction, which isn’t scheduled to occur until after this afternoon’s hearing. That could cause problems for Simpson.

“While it’s not the most serious charge to be written up for in prison, it’s serious enough that any potential parole date maybe be delayed or his parole denied all together,” said the source.

After nine years of reportedly mostly model behavior, it’s astounding that Simpson would risk his freedom just to get his rocks off. At the same time, aside from the first 10 or so years of my life, I’ve never gone nearly a decade without an orgasm, so what do I know? Also astounding that honking off is not allowed in prison — you’d think it might cut down on some of the violence.

Working in Simpson’s favor this afternoon will be the testimony of Bruce Fromong, one of his victims in the robbery, who believes Simpson has served his time. The DA who prosecuted the case thinks similarly, telling the New York Post “The guy did a lot of time on a robbery charge, I expect he’ll probably be paroled.”

Until then Simpson, you better not let any more juice get loose. Also: Don’t kill anybody.

​Well I hope the juice was worth the squeeze, O.J! 

But, seriously, I'm really torn on this one. 

Because on one hand (get it? This is a story about jerking off!) it's O.J.

I don't really have a ton of sympathy for him. Not because he's probably a murderer, but because he's the biggest dummy of all time, and I fucking hate stupid people, dude.

The guy had it all: Heisman Trophy, 2000 yard season, a sweet nickname (The Juice), a film career, AND beat a murder charge. Talk about a HOF plaque. Say what you will about the man, but he has lived one full life. It's like a real life Forrest Gump, but instead of his girl dying from AIDS, he killed her in cold blood. O.J. literally got away with murder, which may be a bigger dream than making it to NFL for some. Sure, he was later found legally responsible for the murders and had to pay $33.5 million in damages, but he was free. Free and broke, breaks rich and in jail IMO.

He was free, golfing with Peter Griffin (in cartoons), stealing Direct TV, just living life on the outside. Then he decides to steal a bunch of sports memorabilia and ended up in prison for that, could serve up to 33 years. Yeah there were guns involved. But it's crazy, dude somehow beat slicing up his ex wife and her "friend" like some 20 year old Asian kid working his first night at a Hibachi grill, but ended up in prison for trying to steal his old jerseys at a casino.  It's like a way more embarrassing version of tax evasion being what brought down Al Capone.

But on the other hand (again, jerk off story) I'm a man, and I have empathy for my fellow XX chromies. The dude got caught jerking off, and every dude who has ever been caught playing tug of war with a cyclops knows how embarrassing that can be. Getting caught was literally my biggest fear from ages 12 to honestly still til today.  And to add insult to injury, it may lead to him being denied parole.  Talk about a costly whack. Say whatever you want about the Juice, but I'm never going to get mad at someone for jerking off in the middle of the night in the privacy of their own home/jail cell.

Then again, I'm also torn on the act itself. I'm a big be on your best behavior when you're in trouble guy. That's why I always clean up my room when I know shit's about to go down at home. On one hand (ok this is getting old), he should've been smarter and held off peeling the banana for a couple more days. He was so close! But then again, like the Tame Impala song, 'Cause I'm a Man, I know how it goes as a dude. That sometimes when the urge strikes,  there's nothing you can do, sometimes you have to clear the pipes or else something catastrophic could happen. Who am I to tell another man when it's okay to oil the glove? 

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Let's leave it to the people.

P.S. I get it you don't want jail to turn into dudes just beating their dicks 24/7, but considering how violent and fucked up jails are. Maybe a bunch of convicts just chilling in their cells beating their dicks like the victims of the crimes that landed them there in the first place wouldn't be the worst thing. Idk I'm just a wannabe blogger, but I feel like that isn't the worst idea in the world. Like make the penalty for using your jizz as a weapon automatic death sentence if you're worried about things getting out of hand. I think I just fixed the prison system in this country.

Last night two of the Major's brightest stars; Mike Trout and Bryce Harper (still don't know if I used ; correctly) played only their 2nd series against one another in their careers. 

Being on opposite coasts, and in different leagues, baseball fans don't get to see these two play against each other often. Plus the Angels are irrelevant so most people don't even get to see Trout play. I feel like I've seen Mike Trout play against the Sox, highlights and the All Star Game. It's a boring and stale narrative, but is true, he really is being wasted with the Angels.

The first Trout-Harper matchup was a three game series in D.C. way back in April of the 2014 season. (Patriots have won 2 Super Bowls since then, NBD) Baseball fans have been waiting a while to see these two go head to head. Since their last game against each other both Trout and Harper have at least one league MVP. (Harper 2015, Trout 2014 & 2016)

Last night the first game between the two phenoms in over 3 years did not disappoint. The Nationals won 4-3 thanks to a 4-4 night by Bryce, but what got everybody talking was the first inning. 

Bryce Harper hit his 24th HR of the year in the first inning, to CF over Mike Trout, I only wish it was hit a little worse so maybe we could've had a play at the wall with Mike Trout trying to rob Harper of a longball. That would be an awesome moment.

Then in the bottom of the first, not to be outdone Trout took one deep to left-center.

What does suck however is that this brief two game series is in the middle of the week, with little to no hype. I know the Angels are struggling to hover around .500 but it's still the two biggest names in baseball. A little more buzz around this wouldn't kill ya, MLB! It's insane how poor of a job the league has done to market the new wave of talent (even though it's not new with these guys anymore, both are in their 6th season which blows my mind). This matchup should have been on national TV or something.

Luckily for baseball fans, we won't have to wait another three years for these two to play against each other as the Angels are headed to the nation's capital in August.

Song: Lay It On Me
Artist: Vance Joy