This Story is So Fascinatingly Fucked Up That You Just Have to Read This Blog and See For Yourself8/31/2022
Even if you're like me, and it's painfully obvious from your appearance and inherited issues that your parents are your biological parents, you've probably asked yourself at some point in your life "wait, what if I'm adopted?"
Now adoption is a great thing. I have nothing but respect for people who want to save a child from a parentless life in the system. I think it should be easier or at least more accessible for adoption to happen. Of course, you want to ensure children are going to loving homes with people who can afford to raise them. Still, with well over 400,000 children in foster care and plenty more coming, thanks to fascists with pea-brains spewing their controlling hatred, we as a society should be doing all we can to ensure as many adoptions as possible happen. That being said, as you're about to see, some issues can arise from the adoption process. So last night, while I was pulled over waiting for my next ubah ride, I came across this troubling story about adoption on Twitter. It's honestly a fucking nightmare and something that seems mathematically impossible. Why don't you just read the tweets and watch the video? Then we'll dive in.
FUCKING CRAZY.
A brother and sister who were put up for adoption ended up meeting later in life, falling in love, and maintaining a relationship for six years. Major Oedipus Rex vibes; if you took 10th grade English, you know how that story ends. Now, as someone with a sister, I don't want you to get it twisted. The idea of this happening to me is fucking repulsive and grounds to unalive yourself, but there's a significant difference between Alabama incest and what took place here. This unfortunate situation seems improbable, but I guess if people adopted the kids in the same city/town or even state, the odds increase. For their sake, I hope the test results were somehow incorrect, but based on the story, I wouldn't count on it. The only question is, what do you do now? According the video the guy doesn't even know yet which is crazy in itself. Like they've probably at least kissed since the girl found out. I think that's where it's gets messy. The girl has to tell him before this goes any further. I feel like it makes it so much worse if she knows and he has no idea. Of course, it's easy to be like, you end it. You end it immediately, but think about these poor people. They're in love and built a life together under the fair assumption that they weren't blood relatives with the same parents. Of course, that's a disgusting proposition if you know about it going in, but these people are victims of a heinous act of not disclosing information. I've never been adopted or adopted a child, so I don't know all the emotions that go into whether or not you tell the kid that you're not their biological parent. Obviously, in some situations, you don't need to, but I'm sure finding out you were adopted can fuck someone up mentally. Now imagine learning that and also that you've gone down on your sibling thousands of times. What I'm about to say grosses me out, but I feel like they should stay together if they're actually in love. They already said they don't want kids and apart from the whole fucking your sibling part, reproducing an inbred monster has to be the worst possible thing that could happen from this relationship. It's fucking gross (both literally and figuratively), don't get me wrong, but you're not hurting anybody. As I see it, you already did stuff with your sibling that cannot be undone.
Breaking up now isn't gonna change the past. You already crossed the Rubicon. Six years is not some blip on the radar either. Thats a major part of your life, 1/5 for the girl and nearly 19% for the guy. Again, please do not get it twisted, I am anti-incest AF. You could call my take hypocritical since I'm quick to judge willing incestual relationships, but this is just a disgustingly, tragic story. A breakup would just be salt in the wound. But if they decided they can't do this anymore for the obvious reasons, I think that's a more than fair solution as well.
I haven't written a lot lately, but when I saw this story I knew I had to get behind the keyboard. It's so fucked up, but if you take a step back it really turns into a fascinating dilemma. It's sad. I feel badly for them. Also, I get if they don't wanna publicly admit it, but I need to see a picture of this couple/siblings. How close did they look alike? Cause people look alike all the time. I'm a white dude with brown hair and brown eyes. There are literally millions of people who sorta look like me that I'd love to have sex with that could also theoretically be my sister. Again, I'd never fuck my sister. First off, she's married. Secondly SHE'S MY SISTER. But the point is there are millions of couples that sort of look alike and nobody thinks twice about the possibility of being related. To paraphrase the man my last blog was about, Chris Rock, should it be socially acceptable for people to fuck their sibling? "Not really," but there's one exception and this situation is it. What do you think? Sound off in the comments!
P.S.
This is the first time I've ever encountered "Two Hot Takes" podcast but these people suck and have no empathy. The host being like well my dad's in the audience totally doesn't get it. At least one person up there was like you can't just unlove someone in an instant. The crowd fucking sucks too.
1 Comment
Chris Rock's been one of my favorite comedians for as long as I can remember. He's top 3 of my lifetime (1991-present), no questions asked. Thanks to LimeWire, I had all his specials on my Video iPod and would frequently listen to them while doing various chores at my Grandma's house every weekend when I had to help my dad fix it up to sell after she went into assisted living.
Of course, as the recipient of a bitch slap at the Oscars earlier this year, pretty much all Chris Rock-related news has involved the slap in one way or another, including a recent development that he passed on an opportunity to host next year's Academy Awards. Spoiler alert: people aren't thrilled with how he broke that story.
I've seen plenty of people complaining about that joke, and while it doesn't offend me, I don't think it's his best work. I get the premise of joking about returning to the scene of the crime, but logistically it doesn't make a ton of sense. Not to side with the anti-comedy bitches, but getting slapped isn't exactly on par with nearly getting decapitated and dying. It's like if someone lost a parent and another person tried to console them by saying "I know how you feel, my 19-year-old cat recently died." They're not on the same level.
So swing and a miss. Big deal. I'm a long-standing believer that nothing should be off-limits in comedy. There's an art in finding humor in horrible situations, and that should be praised. Not every joke lands, but that's part of the game. Chris has made Oneil Cruz level contact countless times.
Sure, some of Chris' references aren't exactly fresh, but people tend to reference their favorite times in their lives. I talk about 2004-2017 a lot, so a good chunk of my references features things from that time. Chris Rock was that dude in the 90s, so I can understand why he always references it. Those are the jokes that got him a place next to a white dentist in Alpine, NJ. I've seen plenty of tweets saying this is why Chris got slapped or explaining why they're on Will Smith's side because they don't like Chris Rock's jokes. Whatever, I disagree, but it's still a free country (depending on what state you live in), and you don't have to like or listen to his material. But as I mentioned earlier, I'm a huge Chris Rock fan. I think he's a comedic genius who uses his platform to highlight real issues. Women might get pissed that his last two "viral" jokes were at their expense, but he makes fun of everybody. So Bring the Pain is available for free on Youtube, and since I have Youtube Premium, I can listen to videos without having them on my screen, which is huge for ubin when I don't feel like listening to music or a podcast. So last week, I listened to Bring the Pain for the first time in years, and even though I've heard these jokes dozens of times, they still make me laugh. Even the joke this blog is about, I just have a major issue with the logistics behind it. In Bring the Pain, Chris Rock talks about jails, specifically a recent HBO jail special that explains salad tossing (of course that's where a young Dozo first learned this term). 
His delivery and the situation are funny, but the execution is somewhat puzzling. Sure, the '90s were a different time sexually, and he's basically quoting the documentary, so this could fall more on the tossed salad man than Mr. Rock, but the logic is incredibly flawed, IMO. Now I've never sucked a dick in my 30+ years on this planet, but I feel like it's much more difficult to pretend that's something else compared to eating ass. That's something I have a little experience in and frankly enjoy. The process isn't the exact same as eating pussy, but I mean, there are definitely some similarities. You could easily pretend that jelly or syrup-covered b-hole is some box or a less gross anus than the one you're licking in jail. Sucking a dick, for all intents and purposes, has no equivalent. Of course, there's plenty of phallic foods, but it doesn't compare to the process of giving a BJ. The logic in this joke is for lack of a better term, ass. Boo if you want to, you know I'm right.
Yeah, the Nicole Brown joke kind of fucking sucked, I'll give you that, but it wasn't in a special like this factually incorrect oral sex bit from 1996. Plus, we've only read it. Maybe his delivery made it better than it looks on paper? Luckily this story gave me a perfect opportunity to blog this 26-year-old joke that I recently heard again in a somewhat timely fashion. Watch any Chris Rock special and you'll see why he's one of the best to ever do it.
Song: There'd Better Be a Mirrorball (2022)
Artist: Arctic Monkeys Album: The Car
Just like the Arctic Monkeys, the boi is back! Sorry for the lack of blogs, it'll be addressed in a show I'm working on. I can't wait for this album even though this hacky/good if you know music joke makes it seem like I already heard it, which I have not.
According to His Peers (fellow NFL players) Mac Jones Is the 85th Best Player in The League!8/14/2022 
I'm a tad pissed at myself for having no clue whatsoever that the Top 100 NFL Player Countdown started tonight, but in honor of this blog being about a quarterback, I'm gonna *pass* the buck and blame the NFL for not marketing one of the best parts of the league calendar. Either way, it's a great surprise.
The Top 100 NFL Player Countdown, or whatever the technical term for the list is, has been going on since 2011, back when another Patriot QB was reigning league MVP and voted #1 player in the league. Every year NFL players fill out a ballot of who they think the top 100 players in the league are, and NFL Network turns the results into a nice little countdown show to get you ready for some football. Last year I made a video that's since gone baby viral (over 1,000 views), breaking down some of the best player interviews.
Well, much to my surprise and excitement, Michael Macorkle Jones made the Top 100 list entering his sophomore season.
Sure, we can all devalue Mac's Pro Bowl selection by naming all the players that had to back out for him to make it, but making the Top 100 list is a big deal, especially as a rookie. These 100 players are who the rest of the league thinks are the best in the NFL. No fanbases are stuffing the ballot or orange folks claiming it was rigged and committing treason. It's just a bunch of dudes ranking other dudes like God intended. Making this list is a nice little feather in Mac's cap going into year #2. Obviously, this recognition for Mac isn't going to put the Patriots in the Super Bowl, but for lack of a better term, it's a big deal. It's clear Mac's earned a lot of respect from players around the league. It's like when a new stand up comic gain the respect of the established vets. That's when you really know you've made it. With fantasy drafts and the real season quickly approaching, my conversations regarding the New England Patriots' upcoming campaign have increased exponentially. I don't know why I made that sentence so wordy and fake intelligent-y (maybe because this is a night blog and I've already taken my medicine?), but I have been talking Pats more, and people love to ask me what my predictions for the season are. 
My go-to record is 8-9, but I'm just trying to be coy. Of course, I think the Patriots can make the playoffs, but I also am setting myself up to handle disappointment because I do worry about some of the personnel losses the Patriots had this offseason, and the AFC is loaded. Anywhere from 7-12 wins wouldn't shock me.
I can type some more words that may or may not get read by people I went to high school with and other readers I've picked up along the way, but nothing I say will change the fact that Mac Jones was voted the 85th best player in the NFL going into 2022. Sure, it means nothing, but it also means something. I got excited when I saw the tweet that's linked below this video that the NFL will block from playback on DOL. I think it's okay for Patriot fans to be more optimistic given this news. Hopefully, the Pats' lack of an official Offensive Coordinator isn't too damaging!
Since the NFL loves to block people from seeing its content on underground platforms, here you go!
P.S.
I LOVE seeing this, but is there no colored ink at 1 Patriot Place or Mac's house?
Song: You're All I've Got Tonight (1978) Artist: The Cars Album: The Cars I've been listening to this album a nonstop and it's night time. That's all it takes to make it as a Dozonlife.com song of the day aka a DOL SOD.  Taylor Swift has told a federal court that she wrote all of the lyrics to her 2014 hit "Shake It Off," and said she had never heard of the group 3LW or their 2001 song "Playas Gon' Play" before a lawsuit was filed against her. Swift made these statements in a declaration this week over the case originally filed in 2017 by Sean Hall and Nathan Butler, who wrote "Playas Gon' Play" and allege that Swift stole some of its lyrics for "Shake It Off." The lawsuit focuses on Swift's chorus, which include the phrases, "'the players gonna play, play, play," and "the haters gonna hate, hate, hate." The 3LW songwriters point out that the 2001 song contains the lyrics, "playas, they gonna play, and haters, they gonna hate." She said that the phrases "players gonna play" and "haters gonna hate" were part of popular culture as she was growing up, and often used "to express the idea that one can or should shrug off negativity." Swift said her lyrics did not have any influence from 3LW and instead, is about "independence and 'shaking off' negative personal criticism through music and dance." "In writing the lyrics, I drew partly on experiences in my life and, in particular, unrelenting public scrutiny of my personal life, 'clickbait' reporting, public manipulation, and other forms of negative personal criticism which I learned I just needed to shake off and focus on my music," Swift said. In her declaration, Swift provides examples to illustrate her point that the phrases were widely used, including a 2013 performance by Eric Church at the Country Music Awards. Church performed his song "The Outsiders," which also includes the lyrics "the player's gonna play and a hater's gonna hate." At one of her own performances in 2013, Swift says she wore a T-shirt with the phrase "haters gonna hate" on it, and added that she purchased the shirt from Urban Outfitters. Swift concluded that she had "never heard the song Playas Gon' Play and had never heard of that song or the group 3LW," before the lawsuit by Hall and Butler in 2017. "None of the CDs I listened to as a child, or after that, were by 3LW," Swift said. "I have never heard the song Playas Gon' Play on the radio, on television, or in any film. The first time I ever heard the song was after this claim was made." Here's more from her declaration: "I have never seen a Playas Gon' Play music video, never attended any concert where 3LW performed, and never attended any concert where the song Playas Gon' Play was performed. I do not own any 3LW albums or singles, or any recording of Playas Gon' Play. I do not own and have never listened to the albums Now That's What I Call Music! 6 or Now That's What I Call Music! 7. I did not discuss Playas Gon' Play or 3LW with anyone prior to this lawsuit. I have never subscribed to Billboard magazine and had never read anything in the magazine until after I moved to Nashville and became immersed in the music business." Hall and Butler have said that they coined the phrase, and that while it "may seem like common parlance today," it was "completely original and unique" when they wrote the song. The next hearing in this case is scheduled for Sept. 19. I'ma 30 year old man, ma, ma, man, man which means of fucking course I remember 3LW's Y2K banger "No More (Baby I'ma Do Right)." But apparently Taylor Swift does not based on her declaration for the copyright lawsuit this story and blog are about. via: Pitchfork In writing the lyrics, I drew partly on experiences in my life and, in particular, unrelenting public scrutiny of my personal life, “clickbait” reporting, public manipulation, and other forms of negative personal criticism which I learned I just needed to shake off and focus on my music. With “Shake It Off,” I wanted to provide a comedic, empowering approach to helping people feel better about negative criticism through music, dance, and the personal independence enabling one to just shake off the negative criticism. The lyrics to “Shake It Off” also draw from commonly used phrases and comments heard throughout my life. Prior to writing “Shake It Off,” I had heard the phrases “players gonna play” and “haters gonna hate” uttered countless times to express the idea that one can or should shrug off negativity. I recall hearing phrases about players play and haters hate stated together by other children while attending school in Wyomissing Hills, and in high school in Hendersonville. These phrases were akin to other commonly used sayings like “don’t hate the playa, hate the game,” “take a chill pill,” and “say it, don’t spray it.” I drew on those commonly used player and hater phrases in creating the lyrics “Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play / And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate.” I also recall hearing similar player and hater phrases in many songs, films, and other works prior to “Shake It Off.” For example, I was present at the 2013 Country Music Awards and heard Eric Church perform his song “The Outsiders,” which includes the lyric “the player’s gonna play and a haters gonna hate.” Swift also mentioned that her parents “did not permit [her] to watch TRL until [she] was about 13 years old” later in today’s motion. “None of the CDs I listened to as a child, or after that, were by 3LW. I have never heard the song ‘Playas Gon’ Play’ on the radio, on television, or in any film. The first time I ever heard the song was after this claim was made,” she wrote. “I do not own and have never listened to the albums Now That’s What I Call Music! 6 or Now That’s What I Call Call Music! 7.” Andrea Swift, Taylor’s mother, also filed a statement as part of the new motion today. The elder Swift wrote that she “carefully monitored both the television she watched and the music she heard” in addition to the shared home computer. “Taylor did not attend sleepovers at friends’ houses as a young girl because we lived on a farm until she was 10 years old and I always preferred having friends come over to our home.” I'm not a huge Taylor Swift guy. I mean, I fucked with her in high school and early college. Who doesn't like "Love Story?" I listened to Speak Now all the time my freshman year of college because my then gf and her best friend played it every time we were in a car. Don't get me wrong, "Better Than Revenge" and "Haunted" are my shit to this day. I won't skip them on shuffle, even with passengers in the Ub. I dug "Shake It Off" when it came out during my 2nd senior year and even got some love from a future co-worker hyping it up. I searched my photo library for 20ish minutes looking for the screenshot and couldn't find it, but Feits and I went back and forth once saying how good the "Shake It Off" is, but even then I was pandering to try and get on a Barstool blogger's good side. Maybe I featured it in the #HireDozo Manifesto? Read it to find out! Anyways, I don't really listen to Taylor Swift. Not trying to be a hardo, I know she's super famous, but she's just not my swag anymore (I do love HAIM though). I'm simply trying to establish that I'm not biased or taking her side. If she did steal this from 3LW, then fuck her, pay them. I just think it's absolutely outrageous for 3LW to claim they invented this phrase or are owed any restitution, but according to U.S. District Judge Michael W. Fitzgerald, there's enough ground not to throw out the case. I'm no lawyer and still don't fully understand the whole Paramore-Olivia Rodrigo situation from last year that's sort of similar to this, but it's not like 3LW owns the phrase "Haters gonna hate," right? It's not like they have a registered trademark. It feels like a slippery ass slope if they were to win this lawsuit. To me, it seems like 3LW is trying to get the bag from one of the wealthiest musicians on earth. I don't blame them for trying. Have you seen her Westerly mansion? (should've gone the Newport route) "You miss all the shots you don't take"- Wayne Gretzky/Michael Scott/3LW. As a writer, if someone used something from one of my blogs, went viral, and didn't give me credit, I'd be furious. My friends and I made up a million terms growing up, and a few caught on at school. It got contentious if someone tried to claim they invented something someone else did. If someone with more followers than me used "hashtag good guy" to make money, I'd want a little piece too, but do I really own a phrase that's probably been used before I started saying it as a joke that evolved into a full-on lifestyle? Even though I'm not on Taylor Swift's side, I get not wanting to hand out money to anybody willing to file a frivolous lawsuit. If she caved here and gave 3LW some "leave me tf alone" money, maybe Jim Palmer sues her for using his jersey number as a basic bitch anthem?  I did a little research, and according to dictionary.com, this is the history of the phrase "haters gonna hate," and it favors 3LW.  They claim that 3LW "appears" to have the first usage of the lyric in a song, but this is far from conclusive evidence. Given the not-so-chill history of white people stealing music (and other stuff) from black people without giving them the credit they deserve, it's a sorta touchy subject. Again, if Taylor Swift legitimately stole this concept from 3LW, should she have to pay the price. But IMO, this lawsuit just screams money grab from a group that's been irrelevant since before 9/11. Based on what Taylor Swift and her mom have said, she wasn't allowed access to popular music. She never saw TRL until she was 13, which is a crime in itself, but "haters gonna hate" is a common phrase. I hate to sit on a fence, but I do see where both parties are coming from. Do millions of moms have a case against Lenny Kravitz for saying "Dig In" in a forgotten turn of the millennium bop? If anything, these now 3GW (3 grown women) should be counting their lucky stars that Big Pun isn't alive to sue THEM for ripping off "Still Not a Player." "I'M STILL NOT A PLAYER BUT YOU STILL A HATER." WHAT ARE WE EVEN DOING HERE????? Throw this case away like Frank Reynolds once he dies. I do feel bad for the one member of 3LW that wasn't included in the Cheetah Girls, but I'm sorry this is such a stupid fucking lawsuit. Everybody steals from everybody in music. There's a million hack jokes about every song using the same three chords. If anything, my girl Florence has a case too! But in 3LW's defense, this article called out Taylor Swift for "probably" stealing in 2014. 
The late, great (and posthumous winner of "Hashtag Good Guy of the year: 1979") Bill Russell will join the likes of Jackie Robinson and Wayne Gretzky, becoming just the third athlete in North American professional sports to have his jersey number retired league-wide.
We all know why Jackie's number was retired and the significance of his career. Wayno is just a legend and simply the Great One; Russell is sort of a combination of the two in my eyes. From his activism and impact on the court, William Felton Russell thoroughly deserves this recognition. He's the greatest champion in NBA history and was a champion of Civil Rights and equality. I just wish he was alive to see this. That's the cruel thing about life; we wait til it's too late to say how much someone means to us.
Players that currently sport number 6 on their chest and back will still be allowed to, thanks to the grandfather clause, like how Mariano Rivera wore #42 until he retired in 2013, but I feel like the fact that Russell was #6 plays a minor factor in this honor. Again, I believe Bill is entirely worthy of this recognition, but 6 isn't exactly a sexy number (even though it's a major part of the most famous sex number). Sure Lebron rocks it, but that's just out of respect to the devil. It's a different sport, but no #6 starting quarterback has ever won the Super Bowl. The two greatest #6 in sports, Bill Russell and Stan Musial played in the 60s. It's a punter number. It's not a huge loss and an easy decision for the association. Outside of Lebron, I can't think of another star #6 (that doesn't necessarily mean there isn't one, I'm just having a hard time thinking of one) in any sport. Jay Cutler, no way. Johnny Hekker, punter. I guess Joe Torre was a manager; that surely doesn't count. MAYBE one-time All-Star Kristap Porziņģis??? Six is just not that swaggy, but here's a list of NBA players who rocked that digit last season.
Three-time Super Bowl champion and should've been SB 51 co-MVP James White has retired from the National Football League after eight seasons.
14 receptions for 110 yards and a touchdown, 6 carries for 29 yards and two touchdowns AND a two point conversion. 20 points scored. One of the greatest performances in NFL playoff history.
I can't say this news is that surprising given his age and injury from last season, but it's always sad to see yet another piece of the second half of the double-dynasty go. I was looking forward to his bounce-back in 2022 and what he'd add to the Patriots offense. Brandon Bolden was NOT it.
Drafted in 2014 out of Wisconsin, White didn't see the field much his rookie year en route to the Patriots' 4th Super Bowl Championship. Once Shane Vereen left in free agency for the Giants and Dion Lewis tore his ACL, White stepped into the 3rd down back role and didn't look back until a hip injury ultimately ended his career. No NFL running back had more receptions than James White did from 2015-2021, and he missed the final 14 games of 2021.
James White was a sure-handed multi-time captain for the Patriots who saved his best performances for the biggest stage. I try to not think about the 2017 Patriots and that missed opportunity against bum ass Nick Foles, but James White was a beast during that playoff run. He scored a TD in all three playoff games (4 total).
During Super Bowl LIII, I was worried we were seeing another Malcolm Butler situation on our hands when James White only had one target. IMO that's a major reason why the Pats only scored 3 points through three quarters and just 13 for the game. But that 2018 season was James' career year: 87 receptions for 751 yards and 7 touchdowns. In the divisional round vs. the Chargers, he hauled in 15 receptions (tying an NFL playoff record) for 97 yards.
James' production took a hit in 2020 with Cam Newton at a QB, but in his short time with Mac Jones, he looked like his old self.
There's a massive log jam of deserving Patriot team HOF inductees from both ends of the double-dynasty, but James White is a no-brainer red jacket candidate. Mr. Kraft and coach Belichick both had glowing remarks about his Patriot tenure.
Congrats on a fantastic career, James. I think it's safe to say he's one of, if not the best NFL careers of any Wisconsin running back. You'll always be Super Bowl LI co-MVP in my eyes!
Song: Sweet Baby James (1970) Artist: James Taylor Album: Sweet Baby James I was initially gonna use "Sweetness" by Jimmy Eat World for today's SOD and had this typed out "I know Walter Payton was Sweetness, but there aren't any songs called "Sweet Feet," and I sure as hell wasn't gonna do Sweet Child O'Mine or Sweet Caroline, not even" That's when I realized "Sweet Baby James" is the PERFECT song for today. Rockabye Sweet Baby James, what a career. More to come in a full retirement blog. 
Apart from the team plane crashing and killing the whole organization, the 2021 Patriots season couldn't have ended any worse.
I haven't been writing a lot lately, so that might be a little extreme, but after winning seven straight games to get to 9-4 and hold the AFC's #1 seed before the bye week, the Patriots went 1-3 to end the 2021 regular season with their lone win coming against the lowly Jacksonville Jaguars. During that 1-3 stretch, New England played the Bills the day after Christmas and didn't force a single punt in a 33-21 loss, sadly foreshadowing their disgusting performance in the Wild Card Round. The Pats lost their first post-Brady era playoff game 47-17 in Buffalo, and it wasn't even as close as the score would indicate. 27-3 at the half, with the Patriots scoring their first points in the closing seconds. Kendrick Bourne scored a meaningless TD (except for my friend who took Pats +36.5 live) in the final minutes to cut the gap to 30. The Patriots 2nd rated defense (in points allowed) didn't force a single Bills punt (again) in the contest. Despite that bleak paragraph, the Patriots have plenty to build off this season. Mac Jones played well, earning a 9th alternate Pro Bowl appearance. They got a project offensive lineman in the first round of the draft and are paying more than any other team in the league for an average (at best) pass-catching unit!
FYI: this blog is gonna feature a lot of Warren Sharp tweets
I respect Bill Belichick. He's one of, if not THE greatest coach in NFL history. I think he's the best, but I'm biased as a Patriots fan. You gotta give Vince Lombardi and Paul Brown their due. Who knows what Lombardi would've done in Washington had he not been too manly to get a rectal examination and caught his cancer earlier?
Belichick has been in the NFL since 1975. His resume speaks for itself. Six Super Bowl wins as a Head Coach and two more as the Defensive Coordinator for the Big Blue Wrecking Crew Giants. I'm not going to act like I know football better than Belichick just because I'm nearly 70 games above .500 in Madden 22 online. That would be fucking stupid, but the game eventually passes everybody by; Tom Landry held on for a few years too long. The same could probably be said for Chuck Noll. Paul Brown was too much of a dictator to succeed in the changing 60s, which led to his dismissal from the team he helped create. But just because Belichick is one of the most accomplished people ever to hold his job title doesn't mean he's immune to criticism. There are some glaring mistakes during his two-decade-plus tenure. Super Bowl LII comes to mind immediately, but he's made some trades that make the Mookie Betts deal look favorable for the Sox. WR is probably one of the easiest positions to evaluate and he couldn't find a stud with a Zircon WireWarning e50. Admittedly, I haven't paid super close attention to what's going on in camp, but I don't get wtf the Patriots are doing with this no coordinator; let's not put a label on it bullshit like some annoying 19-year-old couple. I will gladly concede that Bill Belichick is a greater football mind than me. He's been coaching in the NFL since Elvis was alive, but based on the things I've seen on Twitter from Patriots camp, this whole no Offensive Coordinator thing *NoHo Hank voice* is not going super well.
Like I said, heavy Warren Sharp blog, but he really just did all the legwork for me curating all these tweets from Pats' beats guys.
Whenever you hear NFL talking heads talk QBs, one of the biggest buzzwords (or I guess phrases) is the "second year jump." The big leap players take from rookie to NFL sophomores. It's still super early in the year, but so far the Patriots offense is on the road to nowhere.
Call me crazy, but a lack of consistency and chain of command might have something to do with a "perpetually overwhelmed" offense?
I wish I could think of more specific examples right now, but one QB that comes to mind with stunted development is Alex Smith. Until 2011, he looked like the next Akili Smith, Ryan Leaf, Tim Couch, etc....a fucking bust. His numbers were awful, he was never able to have any consistency since the 49ers had a different offensive coordinator every year from 2005-2008 (Smith missed the entire 08 season, but the 49ers had 5 OCs from 05-10).
Then Jim Harbaugh shows up, Alex Smith has a career year, looks great in 2012 until losing his job via injury to Kaepernick at the height of the read-option phase of the NFL. Then in KC, under Andy Reid, has like five solid years. Look at his numbers with more consistent coaching.
Based on that example and plenty more escaping me now, I don't understand how not having an Offensive Coordinator is a good thing for a 2nd year-developing quarterback. I know it's too late, but I'm warning you now if the Pats go 6-11 and Mac regresses...remember how they entered the season.
Hey, let's mix in a non-football example about consistency! I went to four different middle schools in four years. Surely, that fucked up my development as a student and human being. I think about that constantly. I missed out on certain things academically because the curriculums didn't align. I went to 5th grade and the first two months of 6th grade in a public RI school with a robotics department. Then I spent the rest of 6th grade in a private Christian school (my first exposure to cults) in Jacksonville, FL, only to go to a public school in Jax named after a Confederate Leader for 7th grade and back to RI for 8th grade. I don't need to pick that scab right now, but let's just say experiencing that during your formative years isn't what God intended. Sure, Belichick could prove us wrong as he has before and show how much smarter he is than the rest of the league with this "innovative thinking," but do we actually think OC by committee is the best thing for Mac Jones? Especially with these people making up the committee! Joe Judge was the 2nd biggest disaster to hit New York in the 21st century. 
Matt Stafford as soon as he left Detroit and Matt Patricia (who technically got fired during the 2020 season).
Look, I love the Pats, but even before all this offensive uncertainty, I didn't love their chances to make it back to the playoffs in 2022. The AFC is loaded. I could see the whole AFC West making the playoffs. It wouldn't shock me if the North produced multiple playoff teams. Everybody knows how high I am on the Colts. The Bills, Dolphins, and Jets all improved.
Meanwhile, the Patriots lost JC Jackson and Shaq Mason and replaced Josh McDaniels with nobody. I would love to be wrong and see Mac soar in his second season, but as of now, I think we're in store for a sophomore slump. Maybe they can fix the kinks, but to say it for the 47th time, I don't believe this is a bright idea for a 2nd year QB coming off of an impressive rookie campaign. |
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