I hate to be that guy, but I'm glad someone is dead from this stupid ass idea. I'm sorry that it had to be you, Joshua Brown, 40 of Canton, Ohio. But maybe some good can come out of this. Now maybe you can be the Jesus Christ of self driving cars, because I hate the idea of self-driving cars. You may have died but if it can kill this awful idea too, then you did not die in vain.
Don't get me wrong, the idea of a self-driving car is pretty sweet, so is the idea that there are robots that you can have sex with. It doesn't mean it should happen. Some ideas are just better left off as ideas. I'm sure one day, if not now, we'll have the technology for it, but right now it's an awful idea.
We don't need robots taking the roles of humans. People already complain enough about immigrants and other people taking jobs. Now we're gonna have to compete against robots too? FUCK THAT. So are cabs/lyft. ubers, school buses, tractor trailers, and modes public transportation going to be self driving robot cars too? When I'm 30 are there gonna be no humans behind the wheel? I HATE this idea. I actually enjoy driving I don't want some nerdy fucking robot doing it for me. I may not be much of a man but I am a man, I'm gonna fucking drive.
Plus with all the virtual reality bullshit gaining steam this year, it's like 2016 is the year of the Robot. Chinese restaurants are gonna have to edit their place-mats. I'm OUT on robots taking over the world. Nope not if I can do anything about it. It's gonna be like a G-damn movie where the robots get self aware and take over the world. How can people not see this?
And like I love technology too, trust me, I love my iPad more than most of my extended family members (and my iPad is two years old and cracked). But I think it's getting a little bit too extreme, people my age are wayyyyyy toooooooo dependent on technology. Nobody knows anything, you just google it. Nobody has any social skills, it's probably why like 1-60 kids are autistic now because nobody knows how to fucking interact with other humans. I'm a perfect example of that, I can talk to any girl on tinder, but you put one in front of me in real life and I piss my pants. It's really sad.
We don't need self driving cars. We don't need robot lovers. We don't to play virtual reality baseball. Go outside and talk to someone, play a game outside. Again, I get it the idea is pretty cool. You can have basically your own personal limo driver and you can get trashed or whatever but how about just getting an uber or a friend to DD? Where does the line get drawn? Are we gonna have robot barbers and robot teachers? Yeah maybe those are two completely different fields but I don't want a robot for either of them. Let's unplug just a little bit. Again I LOVE modern technology, and use it all the time, but there are somethings we're trying to achieve that just don't need to be invented. I hate to sound like that guy but for real why don't we use the money we fund for stupid, lavish technology and try to cure cancer, als and Alzheimer's instead?
(To all the non barstool fans/parents that read this on facebook, don't even waste your time with this blog. It's not raunchy or anything, you'll just have no idea wtf I'm talking about)
BREAKING NEWS: (an hour ago when I started writing this) Barstool Big Cat will be competing in the 2016 Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest.
The Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Concert in Coney Island is synonymous with the 4th of July in the same way that football is with Thanksgiving. I've been watching it every year since I can remember. It was just announced that everybody's favorite blogger, Big Cat, from Barstool he will be participating in this years event. It's honestly awesome news, I love when anything barstool is present on ESPN, so the fact that arguably the face of BSS is going to be featured in this special is amazing. 100% tuning in this year strictly to see Dan's performance.
I don't know what this says about me but after I learned the news one of the first things that I thought of were "how many hot dogs could Big Cat actually eat?" and "Pres or Rico should get some action going for stoolies for Big Cat's performance". Since when you think Big Cat gambling is probably like the 4th thing that comes to mind, only things that before that are barstool, Chicago and hot dogs. So it's fitting to pair the two. That's what brings to this blog. The odds for Big Cat at the 2016 Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest. Now I've been retired from gambling for a few months but for those who don't know basic odds. If something is +200 it means you get 2-1 on your money. If something is -200 It means you'd have to bet $200 to win $100. (Basically is the odds are -X the bigger X is the more likely the outcome is that's why the payout is bad. That's why if the Patriots play the Jaguars the line for the Pats to win straight up is like -1200)
So let's get started and see where the action should be for Monday!
0 Hot Dogs Eaten: +1500
Unless there is some 1919 black sox type stuff going on with this crazy line there is no way Big Cat doesn't eat at least one hot dog. Damn man I mean I feel like every time the guy goes to Wrigley there's a picture of at least 3 different hot dogs. And that's just what he posts on twitter. As a fat guy, classic fat guy move to just show a little of what you're actually going to consume to look less like a pig, and I mean if he's willing to show a pic of 3 hot dogs for one trip then my man could be crushing anywhere between 5-10 per game. Although in a way this would be a genius move. Nobody is gonna remember the guy that eats 16 hot dogs. Everybody would remember the fat guy with the mustache who couldn't finish 1 hot dog in 10 minutes. If I'm Big Cat I seriously consider eating no hot dogs. As Pres says "content, content, content" That story would definitely go viral for at least 38 minutes.
1-5 Hot Dogs Eaten: +600
10 minutes seems like a long time, I think 1 dog every two minutes is a very easy pace for a large man. But for a regular fat person like Dan (or myself), the way we eat is way different than how competitive eaters eat, but not at this volume. Anything less than 5 would be shocking. 5 hot dogs at a cookout is child's play for any man over 200 pounds. I'm not a huge hot dog guy and know I could crush 5.
6-11.5 Hot Dogs Eaten: +125
This seems right around Big Cat's wheelhouse. I've been reading barstool for over 3 years and seen many different sizes of BC but recently it looks like he's lost a little weight recently. That could hurt here. I think 2015 Blackhawks Cup run Big Cat cruises by this no problem. No attempt at humor here just pure gambling advice.... +125 is a pretty good pay out for the 8-11.5 hot dog range as it is still plus money for the most likely outcome.
12-15 Hot Dogs Eaten: +450
This is definitely still in the possible range for Big Cat. I just hope for his own sake he does not approach the 15 range. If Dan pre-tums on Monday then this is not a bad value play.
15.5-30.5 Hot Dogs Eaten: +1700
Here are were things get dicy. I love Big Cat, but I really don't think he could eat 25 hot dogs...I shouldn't say think because I think he could, I'll revise that say I don't WANT him to. Because deep down I know he could, but just don't want to think about it, similar to the idea of your parents having sex. You know if has happened but thinking about that concept is very unsettling. I don't want one of the funniest people on the internet dead. I want Big Cat to at least see 40 or a Cubs World Series win.
20 hot dogs in one sitting has to take at least 2 years off your life right? Kinda like how they say every cigarette is 11 minutes. I think once you hit the 20 hot dog range you're subtracting multiple years of life off of you.
30.5-69.5 Hot Dogs Eaten: +3000
About the odds you'll see for the Houston Astros to make the World Series. It's definitely possible given the talent, just doesn't seem possible at the moment given a litany of circumstances: age, talent, payroll, time. Maybe if the Astros got out to hot start or if Big Cat started training before this week.
70 or more Hot Dogs Eaten: +10000
What did Kevin Malone say on the Office? Anytime someone gives you 10000 to 1 on anything you have to take it. All office fans know if John Cougar Mellingcamp wins an Oscar that Kevin will be a very rich man. Same could be said for anybody who takes Big Cat 70 or over. Say what you will but +10000 is +10000. I mean look at this last year. The Cavaliers came back in the Finals down 3-1 to the greatest regular season team in NBA history. Crazy things have happened. How about Leicester City? I'm sure people were laughing at those who bet on them to win the EPL at +5000 but now those people are laughing straight to the bank. Fuck man the Broncos just won the Super Bowl with a dead man at quarterback so as KG said anything is possible.
So there are the odds. The math may not make sense, but that's okay I'm not a mathematician, I'm just a fake blogger with an education degree. Now feel free to start letting me know where you think the action should be!
P.S. Idk who this guy with the straw hat is, but he can play for my team any day. Nobody lives for one day more than this guy who gets to call the contest. Need more people in this country with that intensity, desire and dedication.
Song: You Don't Get Me High Anymore
Tony Hawk is the Michael Jordan of skateboarding. Even if you don't the first thing about skateboarding there is a good chance you know his name. I bet my mom could tell you who Tony Hawk is. Tony Hawk IS skateboarding. His video games brought skating to the mainstream, (I'm so good at THPS 2 it's not even funny) along with his insane success at the X games and other levels as well.
In 1999 Tony Hawk landed the 900 (which is 2 and a half spins on the board) at the X games and that was the first time it had ever been done in competition. A trick that gained national news when it happened. Probably the most famous moment in the history of skateboarding. Now 17 years later he did it again, at 48 years old.
The fact that he is still able to physically do this at 48 is amazing. Tony Hawk must have the same nutritionist as Tom Brady or something. Seriously, you gotta be eating avocado ice cream or Himalayan pink salt to being doing this shit at basically 50. I mean 48 is insane. They saying running backs in the NFL have a short self-life. Same goes for pro skateboarders, you don't see too many over 30 (I'm kind of guessing but also pretty sure of this) while Hawk is retired, it's pretty crazy a guy not much younger than my dad can still pull this off. Watch the video and see the beating he takes to land the trick.
almost as crazy as pulling off this trick at nearly 50, is the fact that Tony Hawk drives a mini cooper. Honestly a mini cooper bro?
(Should be said that the man later died in the hospital)
The other day on a flight from Atlanta to Phoenix, a man had a heart attack and eventually died. It caused a whole ruckus on the flight. However one man came to rescue (sort of), that man, was Tim Tebow.
If you know anything about me as a person then you know I am a HUGE Tim Tebow fan. I've loved Tim Tebow ever since I was a freshmen in high school and he was a freshmen at the University of Florida. When I was playing football I looked up to him at UF who was my favorite team at the time because of him. Yet ever since he came into the public eye basically a decade ago many people have disliked him for various reasons; mainly because of his outspoken faith.
Basically during a flight someone had a heart attack and obviously everybody was freaking out. I can't stand flying at all, if something like this happened on a plane I was on, I'd probably have a heart attack too just as a reaction. It'd become a real mess. So Tebow tried to keep the family cool and prayed with them. In a real time of need. Now people will shit on this and say it doesn't do anything, and that's fine, believe what you want, but he still went out of his way to try to console strangers in a time of need. But yeah Tim Tebow sucks. The saying of "thoughts and prayers" during times of tragedy with all the shootings and horrible acts that happen seeming everyday has become a hot button issue. Even religious people have been saying actual actions need to take place and not just words, which I agree with. But here Tebow was actually with the family, trying to console them. He didn't just reach out to someone on twitter, so I think it's a little different of a situation.
Even almost 4 years since he threw an NFL pass Tebow is still making headlines, thats just the kind of guy he is. I've always hated that people hate him because from all angles he seems like an outstanding human being. People shit on the Christianity angle which is really sad, even if you take religion out of the question the life he lives is adorable. The values taught in Christianity can be used by any person regardless of religion. The values are basically to be a good person and not fuck people over and that's how he's lived his life. I'm over it, I know the haters are just sad people with their own problems to hate a great man.
What I want to know is why is Tebow flying commercial from Atlanta to Phoenix? Guess times really have changed if my dude has to fly commercial. 2011 is a LONG time ago. Speaking of, since training camps are like a month away it's time for my yearly "why isn't Tebow in the NFL rant?" I mean honestly it makes no sense. Sure his accuracy sucked and he played in an unconventional way, but when he was given a chance to start in 2011 with a crappy 1-4 team he went 8-5. The dude won. Sure it was ugly but he beat other NFL teams. It was ugly but he won, and he was showing signs of improvement then just had the chord completely ripped out of his career. After that season he was never given another chance as a starter, and since 2012 he hasn't even been on a NFL regular season roster. That shit blows my mind, love him or hate him, when he got a chance he did special things, sure it was unconventional, but with how many awful QB's there are in the NFL I do not believe for second that every QB on an NFL roster is better than Tim Tebow. I personally think he's been black balled because of the spotlight he brings and some teams don't want to deal with that with a back-up QB. But I've studied Tebow over the years because I love him so much and last year in the pre season with the Eagles he played well enough to land an NFL job. Just gotta pray that he gets another chance this year, although even I, one of the biggest Tebow fans in the entire WORLD (yes, world) thinks he's probably out of chances.
Been on a huge Arctic Monkeys bender lately. It's been them none stop for like 10 days. Even bought the physical copy of their debut album (2006) to listen to in my car, it's so good. That's that no aux-cord swag in the old jeep. Well since I don't listen to music that is new here is the June 28th 2016 song of the day.
Song: From Ritz to Rubble
Artist: The Arctic Monkeys
Album: Whatever People Say I am, That's What I'm Not (2006).
Check out the latest track/video by SK's own Boy Ble$$ing. Everybody knows I'm not a huge rap guy anymore, but I honestly can say I got down with this track. My man has flow. Be sure to give it a listen and support the man. Anybody trying to make it out of this area doing what they love gets my support. Boy Ble$$ing has the official Doz On Life seal of approval.
Song of the Day June 27th
Song; Mama I Rly Did It
Artist: Boy Ble$$ing
Last night Bill Simmons' "Any Given Wednesday" premiered, idk what the rating was, or what to think of the show. I honestly forgot about it. Only reason I caught any of it live was because I flipping through the channels after the Sox imploded because I was so mad. (Man, they need to figure it the fuck out) Luckily I was able to catch the end of the show, which was really all you needed to see.
Ben Affleck (who looks AWFUL) ends up going on a Deflategate tirade to Bill Simmons. While Affleck did look like a bag of shit, I can't lie his argument isn't awful. Despite all of what I'm about to say, he honestly gave one of the best arguments to defend Tommy that I've ever heard.
First off.... SOOOOOO Simmons to have Ben Affleck on his first show. "The Boston Sports Guy" has to get a Boston guy on his first episode, to let you know he's still a Boston guy, even though he's about as Los Angeles as it gets now. I'm only surprised he didn't make him drag Matt Damon into the mix.
But Affleck sounds like a dude at the local dive bar after about 11 Budweiser. I'm 100% sure I've drunkenly had this same conversation at least 4 different bars so I get it. But Ben come on brother, you look look like you haven't slept in a month. Puffy face city, population Affleck. Honestly bro, like I'm a fan (yeah I didn't see Batman v. Superman but nobody did) I like you, but just try mix in some sleep, before you just die, you broken old cheating man, you. I know a thing or two about drunk people and if you listen to Affleck for .2 seconds you can tell he's hammered. He sounds like a man who has lost everything, and now he's even gonna lose Tom Brady. But man is he shitfaced, just listen to him say "exactly" around the 3:12 mark or when he talks about how classy and great of a guy Tom is, which granted is all true, but holy shit is that just textbook drunk guy souping up his friend or what?
I know it's been a rough year or so for Affleck but man that was kind of sad to watch. It was just so much deeper than Deflategate. That dude is about to lose his family and you could tell by reading through the lines that he was comparing himself to this story.
P.S. It sucks that clip doesn't have it but earlier in the show Affleck calls Tom Brady "Touchdown Tom Brady" which in my 15 years of loving Tom Brady I don't think I've ever heard someone call him before.
Artist: Cage The Elephant
Album: Tell Me I'm Pretty (2015)