Last Thursday, NFL owners approved the sale of the Washington Commanders. While that move felt like it may never happen as Dan Synder did all he could to sabotage this once proud franchise, it's official and with new ownership....may come yet another new name for the artist formerly known as the Washington Redskins and Football Team.
According to ESPN's Don Van Natta Jr., the new ownership group may change the name to rid themselves of any lingering Dan Synder stench.
While appearing on the Rich Eisen Show, ESPN's Don Van Natta Jr. took the development a step further when he revealed that the new ownership group could look to change the team’s name.
Eisen bluntly asked the senior writer if he felt the idea was even conceivable.
“I think there’s a pretty good chance of that to erase any part of the Snyder legacy to have a complete do-over,” Van Natta said. “I would not be surprised at all, Rich, to see a name change and a complete rebranding.”
Idk who JP Finlay is, but dude it's fucking 2023, there are odds on everything...of course Bet Online has odds for new potential team names. It's not that wild!
I fucking love this (potential) move and, frankly, think more teams should follow suit. I don't need to get into the whole racially insensitive mascots debate. Sure, Redskins was not an "n-word" level slur, like I'm not worried about typing it on DOL, but it still wasn't a nice name for a professional sports franchise or a word I'm gonna use to describe Natives. It was time to move on, but Commanders is a flat-out terrible team name. It's too clunky, Commies is the shortened version, and the logo + unis are ass (let's not forget they screwed up the years in their crest, too!). Washington completely botched this move (what else is new??). IMO it's a bottom three team name in North American Big 4 Professional Sports. In no particular order, the bottom three names are Washington Commanders, Cleveland Guardians, and New Orleans Pelicans.
But Dozo's here to help! You have a second or third chance here to get it right. People that say go back to Washington Football Team are about as boring as a book on the history of paint drying. That's lame as fuck and basically an MLS team name. You can do better. When new names were floated around, I wanted Washington Pigskins and biasedly still think it plays. You're still "The Skins," and you can easily switch the lyrics to "Hail to the Redskins." Instead of being racially insensitive, you just have to worry about pissing off animal rights activists that cry into their almond milk about using a pig carcass to make a ball (at least you're not wasting the remains!). Let's be honest, they aren't as scary. You don't have to worry about them. You could have a cool pig mascot or even a football if you wanna be boring, but surely, it's a better option than Commanders.
The next best choice is Red Hogs, and it's more likely than Pigskins, although I like it for basically all the same reasons. It pays homage to the team's history and rolls off the tongue better. Hogs is a sick name. It's football AF. Most of the names on that list fucking stink. Presidents and Ambassadors are clunky, just like Commanders. Spartans makes me think of MSU. OWLS????? Washington Red Hogs is the perfect rebrand and shits on the alternatives.
Look Washington, you have another lease on life; ideally, after this change, it'll can stay put for the next hundred years (or until football is outlawed/humanity collapses). Don't fuck it up!
IMO, the Cleveland Guardians should've become the Cleveland Spiders, and who fucking cares about the Pelicans? It's just a terrible name, but it's an irrelevant franchise and fits them.
I love Jaylen Brown and am glad that he's going to remain a Boston Celtics. I've been beating the "don't break up the Jays" drum for years, but I do have some reservations about this deal.
I mean, it's not my money; I don't give a fuck about that part. Good for Jaylen; I am genuinely happy for him. I just worry about how this affects the Celtics in the future. It's not baseball; there's a cap, and Jayson and Jaylen will account for like over 60% of it. I'm no capologist, but that isn't ideal.
It is wild that Jaylen Brown signed the richest deal in NBA history. I can easily admit that. His handles have been ridiculed online (for good reason). Even deep down, Jaylen knows he is nowhere near the caliber of player to warrant such a deal. Jokic, Giannis, or even Steph should hold the title for "richest deal in NBA history," but that's how the league works, and like all the QB contracts of the 2010s, the record will just get broken by the next guy. Next year's deals will surpass this. Jaylen just happened to hit the timing lotto, and I'm not mad at for him for that. Plus, he's still ascending. He's only 26 and was 2nd-team All-NBA last season; I'm glad he's staying put. He has his flaws, but is still one of the best players in the NBA.
Of course, his last performance left a LOT to be desired. He had a terrible ECF. 8/23 with 8 turnovers in a HOME Game 7 when your #1 star is hurt fucking sucks. There's no sugarcoating it. That scares the shit out of me. I know it's only one game, but it was a pretty big one. Ideally, you'd like the guys you've giving record-breaking contracts to...to idk, step up in those moments, but now Jaylen Brown has at least six more seasons in Boston to bring home our next banner...hopefully multiple.
As for his Jay counterpart, I love this mentality...but I also do see the benefit of load management. I went to a game last year where Tatum rested, but the C's still won (Brogdon dropped like 29). Winning is the ultimate goal, but I love seeing how much the fans matter to JT.
Mookie Betts Proves All the Doubters and Morons Who Dick-Ride Billionaires Wrong...He Wanted to Stay in Boston!!!
It's hard to believe, but we're in the midst of Mookie Betts' 4th season with the Los Angeles Dodgers. It's fucking disgusting. Of course, over time, the pain of the betrayal from a baseball team I gave my soul to for two decades has subsided ever so slightly, but I'm always like eight minutes of deep thought away from spiraling into how fucked up it is that the Boston Red Sox traded away their best home-grown position player Yaz TO SAVE MONEY. It's not even like they got some studs in return.
OH, THE IRONY OF THIS PHOTOGRAPH!!!!!!
Of course, this story got me back behind the keys. DOL diehards may remember that I've spent some time covering the Red Sox' decision to trade Mookie Betts for a broken stapler and ripped bag of expired Starbursts.
-Mookie Betts Says He Would've Taken the Contract He Signed with the Dodgers Had the Red Sox Offered Itâ
â-The CEO of a Dodgers Fan Group (I Guess That's a Thing) Put Up a Billboard Outside of Fenway for Thanking the Red Sox For Trading Mookie Betts
-As if the Red Sox Weren't a Big Enough Joke Already, Lebron James Now Owns (Governs) Part of Them!
-I Want to Believe But I Don't Know If I Can
-Well, This (Potentially) Changes Everything
-Not Only Do the Red Sox Suck at Paying Generational Talent, but They Suck at Twitter Too!
-It Looks Like The Dodgers Are About To Sign Mookie to a Giant Deal
-Some Telling Stats About The Future of The United States of America
-How to Induce Vomiting (in New England)
-Mookie Betts Buys Groceries and Pizza For People Shopping and Working in Tennessee
â-John Henry FINALLY Addresses The Mookie Betts Trade (and I Address My Future as a Red Sox Fan)
-After Nearly A Week of Hold Ups The Curse of Mookie Is Official (R.I.P. My Red Sox Fandom)
â-So You're Telling Me There's a Chance?
-I Officially No Longer Love The Boston Red Sox
From the jump, I believed that Mookie would've stayed had the Red Sox given him a fair offer, and I'm sorry, 300 million over 10 years was not a fair offer. Yes, that's a ton of money to regular folks like you or me, but the value of Mookie Betts to the Boston Red Sox far outweighs the potential contract costs. Whether you're a garbage collector, tv writer or won the MVP, batting title, gold glove, silver slugger, and World Series in the same season, everybody should know their worth and not settle for less.
Sure, the Red Sox are a few games over .500 today, but they have no pitching and a flawed roster. They've been a complete joke since trading Mookie. Yes, 2021 was a nice run, but they folded like a cheap suit after ALCS Game 3. The front office and ownership did all they could to make sure that a playoff run doesn't happen in Boston for a long time. Good thing Chris Sale is on the books next year. At least he wasn't already showing signs of breaking down when the Sox extended him!!!!
There is no defending the small return the Sox got in return for a future Hall of Famer. For the life of me, I will never understand people that take Red Sox side regarding their terrible decision to trade Mookie Betts. I don't give a shit about the luxury tax, and neither should you. It's not your money! Who gives a flying fuck if a billionaire who got their money in shady ways has to spend a little more? That is what's fucking wrong in this country, people defending the ruling class that wants to destroy them and take everything. This blog isn't about bashing the boot lickers (okay, maybe a little); it's about gloating.
I was fucking right. Mookie would've stayed had the Red Sox given up a fair offer. I don't wanna hear shit about "well, it's easy for him to say that now." In case you forgot, the Red Sox never negotiated after he turned down the $300 million deal. He wanted $425M and met the Dodgers in the middle at $365M. It's almost like maybe had they stepped up and offered a similar deal (instead of wasting money on bums), he would've stayed. Oh wait, a second...
Last year, around ASG time, Mookie said he would've taken the deal he signed in LA if the Sox offered it, and recently on Brock Holt's podcast, he doubled-double on not wanting to leave.
I've been watching A LOT of Brooklyn Nine-Nine in my time away from the blog, and this clip of then Captain Raymond Holt perfectly encapsulates my feelings regarding what Mookie Betts said on that podcast.
I believe Mookie when he says that it worked out or he's happy in L.A. now, but it literally never had to come to that. He was ours, and John Henry sold him for scraps to avoid taxes. Fuck you, John Henry. I'm hyperbolic a lot on DOL, but I genuinely hate you and will be a happier person when you're dead. You use your money to control the media and break fans' hearts. You helped break the curse. You could've been beloved in Boston forever, but now you're like Curt Schilling. Boston hates you. The demise of the Red Sox is all your fault, you soulless scumbag. I feel for all the fans of the teams you own. You don't care about them; it's all a big game to you. Luckily, one day you will die and have to deal with God. I'm sure he disapproves of how you treated Markus Lynn after all he did for your baseball team. The Red Sox are 12th in attendance, averaging nearly 4,000 fewer fans per game than during Mookie's Boston prime. Burn in Hell. John Henry. Maybe you'll get to take some of that money with you and use it as a shield to stop the flames for a few extra seconds!
Song: Oh No (2023)
Artist: Iguana Death Cult
Album: Echo Palace
For only the 2nd day in July, ya boi is blogging. There's plenty to cover so let's get started with the SOD. I found this on Apple Music like a week ago and enjoy it. Hopefully so do you! Who doesn't love a good ole fashioned Death Cult???
Can we show a little late-night love to the Ocean State? The reigning ALCS and World Series MVP is a product of the lowly Pr0v1d3nc3 school system, and now we've got some more RI representation (private school, boooo!) as Middletown native Alex Clemmey (Hendricken '23) was drafted by the Cleveland Guardians Sunday night!!
And in touching tribute to DOL, Clemmey went Dozah overall!!!
Does it make me feel ancient that this kid was 4 when I graduated high school? I'll let you answer that one, but it's always awesome to see little ole Rhody get some shine in the national spotlight for something GOOD (fuck you 38 Studios). Yeah, the MLB Draft is probably the 3rd or 4th most cared-about draft in the Big 4, but it's still fucking cool. I still believe in fellow Hendricken Hawk Kwity Paye! 10 sacks in 2 years isn't terrible.
Getting drafted is no guarantee for success, but according to baseball-reference, only 80 Rhode Islanders have ever played in the Majors, and 26 debuted before 1900, including simply "Sullivan," a semi-anonymous Bristol native.
Sully went 3/8 with 2 ribbies in 2 games for the 1875 New Haven Elm Citys, a team with nearly as many names as wins.
Alex Clemmey has an opportunity to be just the seventh Rhode Islander to make his Major League debut in the 21st century. We really need to take a moment to acknowledge how small 80 really is. There are more than 80 players on college football teams. I saw 80 people today and the only time I left my house was to go to the gym. 80's fucking nothing, and when you dive even deeper into the numbers, they're even more depressing. Young Alex Clemmey can be just the SIXTH Rhode Islander to make an MLB All-Star team. One of Rhody's 5th former All-Stars is Dave Stenhouse. He only played three years in the bigs, and his two ASGs were back when they had two a year in 1962. The other four are Paul Konerko (6), Gabby Harnett (6), Davey Lopes (4), and Clem Labine (2). Konerko, Lopes and Labine each won a World Series as a player (Labine won 3). Harnett lost four Fall Classics with the Cubs.
Of the 80 men born in Rhode Island to play in the MLB (and who even knows if this kid was born on Rhody soil?), only 28 played over 162 games, 46/80 played fewer than 100 games, and 20/80 played fewer than 10 games. According to the chart, nine players played one game, but then I clicked on one of them, and it showed he played more than that...so take that data with a grain of salt. On a positive note, three members of the Baseball HOF: Nap Lajoie, Gabby Harnett, and Hugh Duffy, were born in RI.
Clemmey committed to Vanderbilt in 2020, but he's expected to sign a slotted $1,402,600 deal. Good for this kid. Get your bag, and best of luck in your career!
I need to do a worst names in sports blog. Guardians are up there with Pelicans and Commanders for worst in the US.
It feels great to be back behind the keys again, and I mean that in both a literal and metaphorical sense. One of the primary reasons this is my first blog day since June is the state of my once-known as "tin foil back." I'm just happy I'm currently sitting without wanting to cut off the lower 60% of my body. I'm currently comfortable, which is a major win compared to writhing in pain on your grandma's floor trying to find a position where you don't want to eat a bowl of bullets for breakfast. I was flopping around like the fish in the "Epic" video for days.
**that's** how you comeback from a two-week break with a timely reference, Dozie!?!!
Recently, I discovered my hips are misaligned, and I've got a touch of the scoliosis. hashtag not ideal! The pain was like a 14/10 for over two weeks but finally has subsided to a much more manageable 3/10. I went to the gym tonight for the first time in July and have a lot of shit on my mind, so I figured this is the perfect time to drop my 2nd Dozie's Brain Dump.
Between busy times on the Ubah streets, my mom being in town, and back pain that would've killed a weaker man, I haven't had a chance to blog since I hyped up a potential hashtag bad guy's perfect game, and this blog will serve as a sorta catch-up/vent situation.
During my Saturday night ubin, I drove a guy I went to middle school with then had a class with at URI, and he brought up how crazy it is we'll be 32 this year, and I was on-fucking-board. I'm not a small-talk guy, and I am always down to talk about the concept of time.
It's weird because I'm definitely not old (even though my body is breaking down), but I'm certainly not young. Sure, I'm still in the "it'd be a tragedy if I suddenly died" range, but I'm also 31 years old. What do I have to show for it besides thousands of fantastic underappreciated blogs, zero romantic prospects, and enough fat to save a small village?
I've been out of the classroom for like 16 months now, and while I've gotten by with ubah as my only way to make money..I'm getting to a point in my life where I fucking need more. It's that simple. I'm not giving up on my dreams by any means, but I can't keep pushing off being a real adult until I have the perfect job. Like, sure, I know it's not good to compare yourself to others and that everybody has way more drama/baggage going on than you realize, but I'm so fucking unhappy with where I am in my life. If you told me when I was 18 that I'd go to college for *five* years to be an uber driver (which didn't even exist at the time) I probably would've called you a bunch of words I've axed from my vocabulary because my brain has fully developed and I'm a much better person now.
Plus, this Ubah season's been terrible so far. Last year, I cleared over a G a week for like three months straight (minus when my car was in the shop). Now I'm stressing the tf out about money for the first time in years, and I don't love that. Life just gets more and more expensive. I leave the house for 30 minutes and spend $40 without even trying. I built up a solid nest egg between teaching and massive ubah summers but slowly drained that, living as a full-time driver for over a year.
I'm only like five paragraphs (ik it's more) in and I'm already like what am I even doing? Does anybody give a fuck? Why do I do this? I've been running DOL since 2016 and have made money on three blogs. I never started DOL to be a business, it's my sample and passion project, but sometimes I can't help but wonder if I've wasted the last seven years. Even as I type that, I know I haven't. Regardless of whatever happens with my writing/personality career, I am undoubtedly a better man. I've learned and grown in countless ways from all the reflection and thought that comes with writing. Okay, I'll admit it... a small part of why I was away from the keys (like 5%) for so long was to see how long it'd take for someone to be like, "damn Dozie, why haven't you written in so long?" it would've been nice to be missed, but we're just gonna blame the 4th of July. Everybody was locked in on that. I'm sure if my hiatus had extended another week, the "where's dozo-s?" would've been coming in by the truckload.
This song is nearly a perfect summary of how I feel and where I currently am in life
Also...it's fucking crazy I can't find a live version of this on Youtube? Does Tame not play it live??? It's low key my favorite song on The Slow Rush.
Full disclosure, I am a bit baked rn, but that's not different from most of the time I'm writing. I'm just in a weird spot, loyal DOL reader. My confidence is below sea level. I feel like I'm getting left behind in life and that I don't matter....oh, and my body's breaking down because I eat my feelings and feel way too much. I'm not trying to be all woe is me, emo shit; I'm just speaking from my heart. I've had a challenging time adjusting to the post-Covid world. I feel like my limited people skills are gone, and everybody has outgrown wanting me in their life. I know part of it is just aging, but it bums me out that I rarely do things irl with people. All my text threads are group chats. I feel so disconnected from everybody. So many people in my life are settling down and having families. People have legit jobs and real money. I have way too much to offer the world to waste away with no social or professional life. I know priorities change with age, but it just hurts to lose people you care so much about. I get in my own head about it cause I know a lot of these relationships will pick up right where we left off when I see them again, but with all the technology we have now, it's crazy to go so long without interaction with people who were such major parts of my life not too long ago.
The one person who undoubtedly believes in my blogging abilities is my mom. She keeps telling me send in samples. I know I need to stop being such a pussy and send in some blogs before it's too late because, despite all the self-doubt, I know I have the talent to make it...I'm just not in a great spot mentally or physically. It sucks because I want to respect the people in my life whose actions affect me in catastrophic ways and not address them by name or title, but I wanna get it out so badly.
I am rattling the shit out of myself right now, dude. I just want to be happy. Can a dude just be creative and make things that people enjoy? My things are words and situations. Nothing makes me feel as good as getting people laughing. Sure, I get the fellas going when we chill, but seeing friends like once every 75 days just isn't cutting it. I wish I weren't so scared to reach out to people...I have tried...fuck...what am I even saying right now? I'm not sure if I will post this, but then again, I can write basically anything, and nobody will care. Okay, that might not be entirely true, but it sure feels like that..a lot.
I'm sitting here at my desk with Steely Dan's "Show Biz Kids" stuck in my head, questioning the point of any of this. The horrors of humanity are wearing me down like a cheap flip-flop. I'm sooo sick of being alone in all senses. I'm even more sick of all the self-sabotage I subject myself to. Yeah, I still feel good rn after my first workout in like 10 days, but I'm so frustrated with myself that I'm in this situation. I think back to the half-dozen times I've had significant weight losses, and why couldn't any of them stick? I was right fucking there, man. I'll believe until the day I die that if the panny never happened, I wouldn't of gained the 150 lbs I packed on in the 2020s. I'm terrified that something will happen to me, and people will be sad for 40 minutes, then I'll be forgotten like billions of others. In a way, that can help me not get so worked up about stuff, but on the other hand...it makes it even worse. I hope I don't sound crazy right now, but I feel like this blog is probably leaning that way.
I just re-read everything up to now and tweaked a few things and guess that's a good point to stop. Brain dump over.