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Last Thursday, NFL owners approved the sale of the Washington Commanders. While that move felt like it may never happen as Dan Synder did all he could to sabotage this once proud franchise, it's official and with new ownership....may come yet another new name for the artist formerly known as the Washington Redskins and Football Team.

According to ESPN's Don Van Natta Jr., the new ownership group may change the name to rid themselves of any lingering Dan Synder stench.

via: SI

While appearing on the Rich Eisen Show, ESPN's Don Van Natta Jr. took the development a step further when he revealed that the new ownership group could look to change the team’s name.

Eisen bluntly asked the senior writer if he felt the idea was even conceivable.

“I think there’s a pretty good chance of that to erase any part of the Snyder legacy to have a complete do-over,” Van Natta said. “I would not be surprised at all, Rich, to see a name change and a complete rebranding.”

Idk who JP Finlay is, but dude it's fucking 2023, there are odds on everything...of course Bet Online has odds for new potential team names. It's not that wild!

I fucking love this (potential) move and, frankly, think more teams should follow suit. I don't need to get into the whole racially insensitive mascots debate. Sure, Redskins was not an "n-word" level slur, like I'm not worried about typing it on DOL, but it still wasn't a nice name for a professional sports franchise or a word I'm gonna use to describe Natives. It was time to move on, but Commanders is a flat-out terrible team name. It's too clunky, Commies is the shortened version, and the logo + unis are ass (let's not forget they screwed up the years in their crest, too!). Washington completely botched this move (what else is new??). IMO it's a bottom three team name in North American Big 4 Professional Sports. In no particular order, the bottom three names are Washington Commanders, Cleveland Guardians, and New Orleans Pelicans.

But Dozo's here to help! You have a second or third chance here to get it right. People that say go back to Washington Football Team are about as boring as a book on the history of paint drying. That's lame as fuck and basically an MLS team name. You can do better. When new names were floated around, I wanted Washington Pigskins and biasedly still think it plays. You're still "The Skins," and you can easily switch the lyrics to "Hail to the Redskins." Instead of being racially insensitive, you just have to worry about pissing off animal rights activists that cry into their almond milk about using a pig carcass to make a ball (at least you're not wasting the remains!). Let's be honest, they aren't as scary. You don't have to worry about them. You could have a cool pig mascot or even a football if you wanna be boring, but surely, it's a better option than Commanders.

The next best choice is Red Hogs, and it's more likely than Pigskins, although I like it for basically all the same reasons. It pays homage to the team's history and rolls off the tongue better. Hogs is a sick name. It's football AF. Most of the names on that list fucking stink. Presidents and Ambassadors are clunky, just like Commanders. Spartans makes me think of MSU. OWLS????? Washington Red Hogs is the perfect rebrand and shits on the alternatives.

Look Washington, you have another lease on life; ideally, after this change, it'll can stay put for the next hundred years (or until football is outlawed/humanity collapses). Don't fuck it up!

P.S.

IMO, the Cleveland Guardians should've become the Cleveland Spiders, and who fucking cares about the Pelicans? It's just a terrible name, but it's an irrelevant franchise and fits them.

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I love Jaylen Brown and am glad that he's going to remain a Boston Celtics. I've been beating the "don't break up the Jays" drum for years, but I do have some reservations about this deal.

I mean, it's not my money; I don't give a fuck about that part. Good for Jaylen; I am genuinely happy for him. I just worry about how this affects the Celtics in the future. It's not baseball; there's a cap, and Jayson and Jaylen will account for like over 60% of it. I'm no capologist, but that isn't ideal. 

It is wild that Jaylen Brown signed the richest deal in NBA history. I can easily admit that. His handles have been ridiculed online (for good reason). Even deep down, Jaylen knows he is nowhere near the caliber of player to warrant such a deal. Jokic, Giannis, or even Steph should hold the title for "richest deal in NBA history," but that's how the league works, and like all the QB contracts of the 2010s, the record will just get broken by the next guy. Next year's deals will surpass this. Jaylen just happened to hit the timing lotto, and I'm not mad at for him for that. Plus, he's still ascending. He's only 26 and was 2nd-team All-NBA last season; I'm glad he's staying put. He has his flaws, but is still one of the best players in the NBA.

Of course, his last performance left a LOT to be desired. He had a terrible ECF. 8/23 with 8 turnovers in a HOME Game 7 when your #1 star is hurt fucking sucks. There's no sugarcoating it. That scares the shit out of me. I know it's only one game, but it was a pretty big one. Ideally, you'd like the guys you've giving record-breaking contracts to...to idk, step up in those moments, but now Jaylen Brown has at least six more seasons in Boston to bring home our next banner...hopefully multiple.

As for his Jay counterpart, I love this mentality...but I also do see the benefit of load management. I went to a game last year where Tatum rested, but the C's still won (Brogdon dropped like 29). Winning is the ultimate goal, but I love seeing how much the fans matter to JT.

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It's hard to believe, but we're in the midst of Mookie Betts' 4th season with the Los Angeles Dodgers. It's fucking disgusting. Of course, over time, the pain of the betrayal from a baseball team I gave my soul to for two decades has subsided ever so slightly, but I'm always like eight minutes of deep thought away from spiraling into how fucked up it is that the Boston Red Sox traded away their best home-grown position player Yaz TO SAVE MONEY. It's not even like they got some studs in return.

OH, THE IRONY OF THIS PHOTOGRAPH!!!!!!

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Of course, this story got me back behind the keys. DOL diehards may remember that I've spent some time covering the Red Sox' decision to trade Mookie Betts for a broken stapler and ripped bag of expired Starbursts.

-Mookie Betts Says He Would've Taken the Contract He Signed with the Dodgers Had the Red Sox Offered It​
​-The CEO of a Dodgers Fan Group (I Guess That's a Thing) Put Up a Billboard Outside of Fenway for Thanking the Red Sox For Trading Mookie Betts
-As if the Red Sox Weren't a Big Enough Joke Already, Lebron James Now Owns (Governs) Part of Them!
-I Want to Believe But I Don't Know If I Can
-Well, This (Potentially) Changes Everything
-Not Only Do the Red Sox Suck at Paying Generational Talent, but They Suck at Twitter Too!
-It Looks Like The Dodgers Are About To Sign Mookie to a Giant Deal
-Some Telling Stats About The Future of The United States of America
-How to Induce Vomiting (in New England)
-Mookie Betts Buys Groceries and Pizza For People Shopping and Working in Tennessee
​-John Henry FINALLY Addresses The Mookie Betts Trade (and I Address My Future as a Red Sox Fan)
-After Nearly A Week of Hold Ups The Curse of Mookie Is Official (R.I.P. My Red Sox Fandom)
​-So You're Telling Me There's a Chance?
-I Officially No Longer Love The Boston Red Sox

From the jump, I believed that Mookie would've stayed had the Red Sox given him a fair offer, and I'm sorry, 300 million over 10 years was not a fair offer. Yes, that's a ton of money to regular folks like you or me, but the value of Mookie Betts to the Boston Red Sox far outweighs the potential contract costs. Whether you're a garbage collector, tv writer or won the MVP, batting title, gold glove, silver slugger, and World Series in the same season, everybody should know their worth and not settle for less.

Sure, the Red Sox are a few games over .500 today, but they have no pitching and a flawed roster. They've been a complete joke since trading Mookie. Yes, 2021 was a nice run, but they folded like a cheap suit after ALCS Game 3. The front office and ownership did all they could to make sure that a playoff run doesn't happen in Boston for a long time. Good thing Chris Sale is on the books next year. At least he wasn't already showing signs of breaking down when the Sox extended him!!!! 

There is no defending the small return the Sox got in return for a future Hall of Famer. For the life of me, I will never understand people that take Red Sox side regarding their terrible decision to trade Mookie Betts. I don't give a shit about the luxury tax, and neither should you. It's not your money! Who gives a flying fuck if a billionaire who got their money in shady ways has to spend a little more? That is what's fucking wrong in this country, people defending the ruling class that wants to destroy them and take everything. This blog isn't about bashing the boot lickers (okay, maybe a little); it's about gloating. 

I was fucking right. Mookie would've stayed had the Red Sox given up a fair offer. I don't wanna hear shit about "well, it's easy for him to say that now." In case you forgot, the Red Sox never negotiated after he turned down the $300 million deal. He wanted $425M and met the Dodgers in the middle at $365M. It's almost like maybe had they stepped up and offered a similar deal (instead of wasting money on bums), he would've stayed. Oh wait, a second...

Last year, around ASG time, Mookie said he would've taken the deal he signed in LA if the Sox offered it, and recently on Brock Holt's podcast, he doubled-double on not wanting to leave.

I've been watching A LOT of Brooklyn Nine-Nine in my time away from the blog, and this clip of then Captain Raymond Holt perfectly encapsulates my feelings regarding what Mookie Betts said on that podcast.

I believe Mookie when he says that it worked out or he's happy in L.A. now, but it literally never had to come to that. He was ours, and John Henry sold him for scraps to avoid taxes. Fuck you, John Henry. I'm hyperbolic a lot on DOL, but I genuinely hate you and will be a happier person when you're dead. You use your money to control the media and break fans' hearts. You helped break the curse. You could've been beloved in Boston forever, but now you're like Curt Schilling. Boston hates you. The demise of the Red Sox is all your fault, you soulless scumbag. I feel for all the fans of the teams you own. You don't care about them; it's all a big game to you. Luckily, one day you will die and have to deal with God. I'm sure he disapproves of how you treated Markus Lynn after all he did for your baseball team. The Red Sox are 12th in attendance, averaging nearly 4,000 fewer fans per game than during Mookie's Boston prime. Burn in Hell. John Henry. Maybe you'll get to take some of that money with you and use it as a shield to stop the flames for a few extra seconds!

For only the 2nd day in July, ya boi is blogging. There's plenty to cover so let's get started with the SOD. I found this on Apple Music like a week ago and enjoy it. Hopefully so do you! Who doesn't love a good ole fashioned Death Cult???

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Can we show a little late-night love to the Ocean State? The reigning ALCS and World Series MVP is a product of the lowly Pr0v1d3nc3 school system, and now we've got some more RI representation (private school, boooo!) as Middletown native Alex Clemmey (Hendricken '23) was drafted by the Cleveland Guardians Sunday night!!

And in touching tribute to DOL, Clemmey went Dozah overall!!! 

Does it make me feel ancient that this kid was 4 when I graduated high school? I'll let you answer that one, but it's always awesome to see little ole Rhody get some shine in the national spotlight for something GOOD (fuck you 38 Studios). Yeah, the MLB Draft is probably the 3rd or 4th most cared-about draft in the Big 4, but it's still fucking cool. I still believe in fellow Hendricken Hawk Kwity Paye! 10 sacks in 2 years isn't terrible.
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Getting drafted is no guarantee for success, but according to baseball-reference, only 80 Rhode Islanders have ever played in the Majors, and 26 debuted before 1900, including simply "Sullivan," a semi-anonymous Bristol native.

Sully went 3/8 with 2 ribbies in 2 games for the 1875 New Haven Elm Citys, a team with nearly as many names as wins.

Alex Clemmey has an opportunity to be just the seventh Rhode Islander to make his Major League debut in the 21st century. We really need to take a moment to acknowledge how small 80 really is. There are more than 80 players on college football teams. I saw 80 people today and the only time I left my house was to go to the gym. 80's fucking nothing, and when you dive even deeper into the numbers, they're even more depressing. Young Alex Clemmey can be just the SIXTH Rhode Islander to make an MLB All-Star team. One of Rhody's 5th former All-Stars is Dave Stenhouse. He only played three years in the bigs, and his two ASGs were back when they had two a year in 1962. The other four are Paul Konerko (6), Gabby Harnett (6), Davey Lopes (4), and Clem Labine (2). Konerko, Lopes and Labine each won a World Series as a player (Labine won 3). Harnett lost four Fall Classics with the Cubs.

Of the 80 men born in Rhode Island to play in the MLB (and who even knows if this kid was born on Rhody soil?), only 28 played over 162 games, 46/80 played fewer than 100 games, and 20/80 played fewer than 10 games. According to the chart, nine players played one game, but then I clicked on one of them, and it showed he played more than that...so take that data with a grain of salt. On a positive note, three members of the Baseball HOF: Nap Lajoie, Gabby Harnett, and Hugh Duffy, were born in RI.

Clemmey committed to Vanderbilt in 2020, but he's expected to sign a slotted $1,402,600 deal. Good for this kid. Get your bag, and best of luck in your career! 

P.S.

I need to do a worst names in sports blog. Guardians are up there with Pelicans and Commanders for worst in the US.

It feels great to be back behind the keys again, and I mean that in both a literal and metaphorical sense. One of the primary reasons this is my first blog day since June is the state of my once-known as "tin foil back." I'm just happy I'm currently sitting without wanting to cut off the lower 60% of my body. I'm currently comfortable, which is a major win compared to writhing in pain on your grandma's floor trying to find a position where you don't want to eat a bowl of bullets for breakfast. I was flopping around like the fish in the "Epic" video for days.

During my far too long absence from DOL, I listened to this song at least 85 times. Don't worry, loyal reader... Dozie's back now :)