Love this.
The season three and potentially series finale of Ted Lasso drops at midnight, and while excited to watch, I'm sad that this is likely the end of one of my favorite shows. There's been plenty of contempt and backlash on social media regarding Ted after being beloved because that's how the world works, but I thoroughly enjoyed this season. I've watched every episode at least five times, and that's not hyperbole. I love the characters, and this show makes me feel things.
I have no issue with the extended run times whatsoever. Hating on that is such a lame take. What do you have going on that's so important that an extra 10-30 minutes of Ted Lasso is a BAD thing?? Like you're mad that a show is giving people more. Don't get me wrong; there are parts I didn't love. We could've totally gone without Jack (cu next Tuesday). Nate's relationship with Jade feels forced AF, but they're not significant enough issues to make me stop liking the fucking show. People are so weird. There's no denying the writing forced some social issues into the storylines this year. I'm a woke cuck pussy who believes in freedom and democracy, so it didn't bother me, but I think it's fair to say some themes felt forced. My qualm is more with the execution than the content itself. The "shut up and dribble" storyline worked, but the dialogue about post-break-up nude deletion etiquette in episode 8 felt as natural as Christina Pushaw's (one of Ron DeFascist's lackeys) skin and face. 
HOW WAS SHE BORN IN THE 1990s????
Not to S my own D, but I've been pretty good at calling what's gonna happen in Ted Lasso. I knew Issac would be mad at Colin for lying (not because he's gay!) and that Nate wouldn't finish the season at West Ham. That could be more proof of the show's demise, but I'll chalk it up to my big weird brain. It doesn't take a psychic (where's she been the rest of this season?) to guess that Ted will leave Richmond to return to his son and that Nate will take over. Since that feels so obvious, I hope there's some sort of twist.
I've said it a million times, but I love this entire cast. It's strong enough to support a spin-off without Ted or a reduced Lasso prescience in the next season. I think it's idiotic to end this show now. It's AppleTV+'s biggest hit by a mile. Why wouldn't they want it to continue for at least another year? There's soooo much meat left on the kabob. Why would you throw it away? Here are the OFFICIAL DOL thoughts going into tonight's finale.
I feel like I'm totally forgetting something; oh yeah...what's good with Sharon? We briefly see and hear her in the first episode, but she's basically gone now outside of a few sessions we see with Ted. Will she get a proper send off?
I'll be back sometime after the finale to discuss what happened/the future of Ted Lasso. If this is the final episode, I've loved this show since the beginning and will be sad to see it go. It can get a little corny sometimes, but in this fucked up world, it's a show trying to make a difference while entertaining, and I'll always admire that.
P.S.
Barbara grew on me this season (which I'm sure was intended) and she can fill out a JUICY sweatsuit quite nicely. Her clothes definitely tell the truth. 
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Song: What Hurts the Most (2006) Artist: Rascal Flatts Album: Me and My Gang Celtics induced depression is real deal Holyfield rn. Despite picking a quasi-country song, I'm feelin' emo AF. We were so close to pulling off the comeback and folded like origami. Idk what hurts more rn...my back or my spirits. At least my TikTok went viral (40 likes and counting). In an unrelated note, I didn't realize Rascal Flatts broke up until I wiki'd this song (which is a cover!) to confirm what year it came out. Country isn't really my swag anymore (outside of Orville Peck), but "Come Wake Me Up" was my anthem summer 2012. — Boston Celtics (@celtics) May 30, 2023
This fucking SUCKS. I am bummed tf out, and this blog may end up being one run-on paragraph where I lean on other people's words that describe how I currently feel, so consider this a preemptive apology
FUCK Caleb Martin and Max Strus! It's one thing when you lose the Miami Big 3, but to lost to these bums fucking kiiiillllls.
Going into the game, I knew losing was possible (even though I truly believed we were gonna win this game after battling back so far) but I never thought we'd get run off the fucking court at home after coming this far. A buddy called me before the game, and I said I could see anything happening, and he said I could see anything except a blowout Celtics loss; then I was like yeah, you're right. Man, do we look foolish!
Earlier today, I blogged that this game would be either the highest of highs or lowest of lows, and your boi is currently miles below sea level. But this is what sports are all about...it's still worth it because had they won, I'd be higher than all the satellites monitoring our every move, but man, this is so shitty. Nights like this really make me wish I had a loving lady companion to cuddle me and tell me it's gonna be alright (no, it's not! we lost to the fucking 8 seed in a home Game 7!!!!) It was truly incredible to get to this point, and lots of fun the last few nights. It was nice to believe again. I'm glad the Celtics fought back and made this a series, but this is almost worse than just getting swept (it's not, but at least if they got swept, it would've happened last week, and I'd be currently feeling a little better). They had Game 7 on their home court and got run off the fucking court. I wanna say I can't believe it...but this shit is so perfectly Celtics and Heat. We got within 7 or 8 a few times but never got any closer. I know it's loser talk, but it would've been cool Tatum didn't hurt his ankle 10 seconds into the game. Who knows how differently things play out? He was clearly hobbled. Kevin Harland is GOATED, but Reggie and Van Gundy are absolute trash (P! U!); it blows my fucking mind that Reggie Miller even has this job, but Van Gundy said something in the 4th quarter along the lines of "Boston's gonna be thinking what if with the Tatum injury but Miami didn't have Herro." Like sure, that's true, but Miami played this whole series and essentially the entire series without him. That's nowhere close to the Celtics' best player being at like 30% and the mental hit that put on his crew from the jump. Going into the 4th quarter, I seriously still had faith. We were only down 10 and got the ball first. As soon as Jayson missed an easy lay-up and Miami answered with a 3, I knew we were cooked. That's what makes this loss so fucking disgusting. I am more sad than mad, but I'm pissed at how poorly my guys played tonight. They had a chance and withered away when it mattered most. That fucking sucks. It's also loser talk to say this, but it's fucking true...the Celtics are better than the Heat. They're clearly the more talented roster, but as Bill Belichick has said countless times, it's not about collecting talent; it's about building a team. It's slightly different in basketball, but the Heat have shown they're the more cohesive. They lost in probably the most heart-breaking way possible in Game 6 at home, bounced back on the road, and frankly killed the Celtics. Credit the C's for fighting back, but had they not given up 45 points in the 3rd quarter of Game 1 or closed out Game 2 like a great team should, they wouldn't have been in this situation.
This loss was Tatum/Brown's second home Game 7 L in the Eastern Conference Finals (although the 2018 run was their rookie and second seasons, respectively & that was actually a close game). Where do you go from here? I am a Jaylen Brown guy, but he was downright atrocious tonight. If you're gonna give this guy the supermax, he has to be the one who steps up when Jayson is visibly hampered. Eight turnovers and 8/23 shooting is not stepping up and certainly isn't worth $300+ mill (or whatever it is).
After starting the game 4/6, the C's finished the night with just 32 field goals on an abominable 39% from the floor and a putrid 9/42 from deep (+ one of those was from Mike Muscala in garbage time).
Tatum didn't do enough; I'm sure he'll be the first to admit it. He only took 13 shots, but you have to grade this performance on a curve. This could be misconstrued as loser talk, but he was obviously not himself after that injury.
Brogdon's injury came at the worst time too. He was great all year and the C's clearly missed him. It was like playing with four guys when he was on the floor. I respect him for battling and trying to play, but the dude has like a dislocated tendon or some shit...that's not an injury that you can play through in basketball (even if I'm not sure exactly what he did). It'd be one thing if you're playing football, but in basketball where touch is everything that's fucking brutal.
I'll end with this because it's super late and I'm tapped. I made a TikTok that explains my feelings about the future of this team that took like an hour and a half with editing out all my pauses and speaking mistakes.
Change is probably necessary, but I'm not sure breaking up the Jays is the best move for this organization. Forcing a Game 7 after falling down 3-0 was awesome, but it should've never came to that. We're the better team but got out played by a team with a better coach. I'm saying this in jest, but do we even wanna be a top 4 seed next year? Home court advantage is not the Celtics swag AT ALL. Also, losing another home Game 7 to a Florida eight seed blows ass (even though I don't really care about the Bruins...but I wanted them to win for Boston and the fans. If I had to split my love/interest between the C's and Bruins its 99.58% Celtics, 0.42% Bruins. I like the Bruins but I'm not emotionally invested in them like I am the Celts). This is awful for the brand. Boston really hasn't been the same since Brady left and John Henry told the fans FUCK YOU and traded Mookie Betts to avoid paying taxes. Fuck Florida, man. Their fans don't deserve this. Fuck the fascist state of Florida and it's ignorant populaiton that voted for Ron DeFascist. I wish my divorced parents both lived somewhere else (like Rhode Island). It's absolutely disgusting that this DeFascist's state gets the national spotlight in not one but two big four finals. Hopefully having the national spotlight in not one, but two big four finals brings some added attention to Florida being a DeFascist state. Hopefully more Americans will realize how fucked up that in-the-closet, wannabe Hitler, go-go boot-wearing POS is. S/o my girl Hayley Williams for calling him out. I'm gonna give that it's own blog when it's really Tuesday. It's still Monday until whenever I wake up, aaaaannnnd here's that TikTok!!
P.S.
Including this next one, there are 16 "fucks" in this blog. I tried to limit myself, but I could've dropped a thousand. I'm not just bleeding green, I'm crying green (metaphorically...although no cap *ironically using that* I could use a good cry).
One of the more prominent themes in my shrink sessions is realizing how to live life in the gray. Life is not simply black or white, things are much more fluid than we all may recognize, but that is not the case tonight.
The Boston Celtics are hosting Game 7 of the NBA's 2023 Eastern Conference Finals after losing the series' first three games. With a win, they'll complete one of (if not THE) the greatest comebacks in not just NBA history but all of North American professional sports....shit, maybe even the entire planet. Should they lose...well, I don't even wanna think about that...but it will suck worse than the last season of Barry. Just because the C's have proven the doubters and haters wrong by getting to this point, a victory is far from guaranteed. Jimmy Butler isn't gonna put up two stinkers in a row, and the Heat have already proven (multiple times over the past two ECFs) that they can win on the parquet. The C's home playoff record the last two years is just 11-11 (with four losses coming from Miami). The fact that they're a win away from back-to-back NBA Finals: Presented by YoutubeTV when they're a .500 team at home in the playoffs, is kind of insane and a testament to how good this team is on the road. I slept later than I would've liked today, and this blog may suffer because of that cause I need to be quick so I can bang out some Memorial Day rides before tip-off, but this game really is gonna result in total happiness or utter disarray. You cannot come all the way back just to lose Game 7 at home. Derrick White's miraculously put-back becomes a footnote in NBA history. All the hate the Jays get will be amplified across ESPN and all the other sports networks for days. This wonderful week(ish) of determination and heart on the brink will be for naught. The options are complete the incredible comeback or become a punch line like the 73-9 Warriors. We're either going to the NBA Finals: Presented by Youtube TV, or spending all summer thinking what could've been. This game is the emotional equivalent of putting your net worth on black/red. You're either doubling that shit and fucking balling, or finding the nearest bridge to cannonball off of. The emotional rollercoaster that was the final few minutes of Game 6 was the appetizer for the final course: Game 7 at home. I'd love to see the C's put up a 2008 vs. Atlanta or the Lakers type of close-out effort where it's never in doubt (or to steal a page from the 04 Sox...a 10-3 shellacking), but I don't see Miami rolling over and dying like the Yankees did. I really don't know what to think. I'd love for them to do just that after getting their hearts ripped out in Game 6. I've watched countless reaction videos from Heat "fans" thinking they won, running away from the screen, and missing Derrick's put-back, and they're all glorious. Still, I'm giving the Heat and their cast of no-name undrafted guys who should not be playing this well a legitimate chance to win tonight. It's all up the C's. They are straight up the better team. When they lose it's usually cause they beat themselves, not because the opponent did. You could be like, "Well, of course, they are; the Finals start Thursday...they gotta be prepared" to the news of Miami scheduling their flight after the game to Denver instead of Miami...I hope the C's take a page from the 2004 Patriots book and use this leaked information as bulletin board material.
I love this team and don't want their season to come to a crashing halt tonight. They're come too fucking far to blow it now.
Game 7s are always legacy games, but this one simply means more for us. Miami is playing with house money. Yeah, it'd suck for them to be the first team to blow a 3-0 lead, but they're the fucking 8 seed. I've said it a million times that they're not your average 8 seed, but they're still the fucking 8 seed. There are plenty of ways to spin this potential choke job. The C's do not have that same luxury. This Celtics team is good enough to win a championship and were expected to get back to the NBA Finals: Presented by YoutubeTV. They're where they're supposed to be. If the Heat somehow win, they'll likely get gentlemen swept by Denver. I'm excited, I'm nervous. I'm stressed that I don't have plans for the game yet (I really don't wanna Stephen Glansburg it). I just want it to be tipoff already. Sorry for this rush job with not a ton of statistically breakdowns, but I had to get some thoughts out before hitting the road for a little. Win or lose, I'll be back to talk about the game. I fucking love this team and have been confident(ish) in them throughout his entire comeback.
This is the team who put up an 18-0 run when they were trailing in the 3rd quarter of Game 4. We've got two All-NBA stars. Fucking play like it tonight and become legends. Go Celtics. #BLEEDGREEN
Song: Country Feedback (1991) Artist: R.E.M. Album: Out of Time Thank you to all the vets who died for us....especially those who died standing up to fascism. It's so fucking gross that it's a serious threat domestically, but those scumbags will not win. Go Celtics. 
A few hours have passed (it's currently 3:25 am), and I banged out a solid dozen ubah rides since that fateful shot, but holy fucking shiiiiitttt, I am still buzzing. LET'S GO CELTICS!!!!
The Boston Celtics are still very much alive and, frankly, may have driven the final stake through Miami's hearts thanks to Derrick White's heads-up put-back that JUST beat the buzzer. Talk about going from the lowest of lows (thinking we lost and that this fun comeback was over) to the highest of highs (HOLY FUCKING SHIT HE GOT IT OFF IN TIME AND WE WON!!!!!).
AL SAID GET THE FUCK OUT!!!!!
Thank the fucking Lord (I'm a low-key God guy, but it's a big-time FUCK CHRISTIAN NATIONALISTS) that Derrick hit that shot because I was 3.0 seconds away from needing someone to identify my body from Narragansett Bay. lol jk. But seriously, that game was terrifying. The Dr. nearly called it, we nearly flatlined, but the C's heart began beating again thanks to D-White.
Tbh, I never felt safe until late in the 4th when one of those "oh shit, they might actually do this" low-key intrusive thoughts came into my mind. Of course, that's when the wheels nearly fell off. I'm gonna try and be quick cause it's basically 4 am, and I'm beat (but still amped). I need to rewatch the highlights, but I just had to get something out before bed for the loyal DOL readers!! I don't remember everything; it was a blur and like 29 different emotions at once. All that matters is we won.
A passenger asked me in the afternoon if I liked Celtics -3, and I told him idgaf if they cover; I just want them to win, and they fucking did!!! (I still can't believe it) I love to gamble, but that's why I only take my teams' ML when they're a dog (unless it's in a parlay). I don't give a FUCKKKKKK about covering, bro. That doesn't hang banners. We're not the Colts.
S/O to our defense for fueling this comeback. The C's D has been the difference these past three games. After allowing 121 ppg in Games 1-3, they've allowed just 99.666666repeating ppg in Games 4-6. Weird analogy Marcus, but I feel you my guy. It beats saying "we're just like you, we procrastinate and work better under pressure."
I'll openly admit we got away with some brutal lapses late. Duncan Robinson had two fantastic looks and just missed (thanks, guy). Jimmy Butler was ass until the 4th (and got bailed out by the refs). Bam was dreadful. If it weren't for the Heat's 3-point shooting and all the undrafted guys, the C's would've rolled.
We got away with one; there were serious shades of last year's Game 7, but I'm not apologizing to anybody. We won! That's literally all that matters. The C's clawed their way back from the brink, and now there's a Game 7 at the Garden on Monday. Who honestly thought that would happen? After falling behind 3-0, plenty of people counted the C's out. I was fucking bummed and upset, but I didn't give up (you can see plenty of proof in the blogs I wrote last week). 
The step-coach might've won me back. Yes, this group is resilient AF. Thank God they chose to believe in each other.
It's now 4:15 am, and that's all I've got. I'll blog more before Game 7, but I need to get to bed at a decent hour.
Let's fucking GOOOOO C's!!!!! I am trying to convince my dad to come from Florida (ew) to go to Game 7. As Drake said, "Yolo." You can't take it with you. If you think my dad should come to see me for the first time since September and make an incredible memory watching the C's pull off the greatest comeback in NBA history, PLEASE SOUND OFF IN THE COMMENTS!
P.S.
I've been saying for the last 48 hours (or whatever it is) that if the C's win Game 6, they're winning Game 7, and literally just basically called it in this blog's final paragraph, but we (mainly the Celtics) cannot have that mindset. You'd think losing like that at home would be the final death shot for the Heat, but I am not counting them out. Jimmy Butler in Game 7 is a scary concept, especially coming from a stinker. This is only the 4th time in NBA history a series has even reached Game 7 after a team went up 3-0, and Heat culture is no joke...the C's have to come out ready to go and not think this series is over. Don't play with your food, C's...fucking swallow it. I don't want Derrick White's buzzer-beater to become a Carlton Fisk moment. Sure, it's iconic, but if you don't win the series...who fucking cares? It's like Lebron's game-winner in the 2009 ECF. The Cavs lost the series. That moment doesn't matter. I believe in these guys, and even if my daddy doesn't drive up from Florida (please tell him to in the comments), I still might go to the game, but we cannot get comfortable just getting to this point. We gotta finish the job. In 2020, the Rays went up 3-0 in the ALCS, lost three straight, then won Game 7. I know it's baseball and covid bubble baseball at that, so it doesn't quite compare, BUT there's a recent president of a Florida (ew) pro sports team winning a series in 7 that they once lead 3-0. Luckily for the C's, this Game 7 is at the Garden. #BLEEDGREEN Song: Destroyer (2023) Artist: Cobra Man Album: New Paradise I (EP) It's currently 3:09 am and I'm writing this on the toilet before I've even selected today's SOD. Ya boi jhust got home from ubin and what an incredible night. LET'S GO CELTICS!!!!!!!!! I still cannot believe it---what an emotional rollercoaster. Please build Derrick White a statue now @Celtics. I am so fucking happy, but the job's not finished yet!!! As for the song itself...I legit listened to this EP double digit times today. It's only 17 minutes so it's not that hard (just like me)! Cobra Man should be massive!! P.S. The synth line reminds me of a song from Home Alone 3. I don't remember/know its name, but as a pro's pro amateur blogger, I'm still gonna find it and include it for you to compare. Oh shit! It's by Oingo Boingo. I've heard of those guys! Double P.S.
Ya boi is going all out for a blog that will likely not be seen by any other humans (prove me wrong!!!!). Here's the scene I'm talking about. Wow the publisher is a loser and blocked playback on other websites, so click HERE if you've made it this far and are curious as to wtf I'm talking about this late (it's now 3:51. I went back and added this after starting my C's blog) 
I AM FIRED THE FUCK UPPPPPPP!!!!
LET'S GO CELTICS!!!!
Big time facts from my future boss! #HireDozo
The C's set the tone from the start. Marcus got on the parquet early, stole the rock, and Jayson threw it the fuck down to get the Garden a-rockin'. The ​Boston Celtics cruised to a 13-point win (where they led by as many as 24, and it was never in doubt). 36 was OUTSTANDING tonight.
I agree with everything Grant said!!!!
The deed is far from done, but man, does it feel fucking fantastic to be **Eddie Vedder voice** aliveeeeeee still. We're halfway to the greatest comeback in NBA history.
After looking like the real 8 seed through three games, the Celtics woke up and remembered they're one of (if not) the best teams in the NBA. It's easier said than done, but the formula is pretty simple. Hit your open shots and play the elite defense you've been known for the last half-decade.
They've forced 16 turnovers and held Miami under 100 in each win. Dudes were on the floor all night. It's a little frustrating that it took being on death's doorstep for the Celts to play to their potential, but tonight they wanted it more. Now we're going to Miami for Game 6, where the C's are more than comfortable. The Celtics have won 4 of their last 5 playoff games in Miami, including an Eastern Conference clinching Game 7 last season.​
​The Heat are far from dead and technically still in the driver's seat (but the seatbelt is unbuckled, and the C's are yanking them out of the car). They've shown all playoffs that they're much better than their 44 wins would tell you, but as a Celtics fan, you gotta feel good rn. Even if they lose this series, you can take pride in them not rolling over and giving up when they looked down and out.
Derrick White was feeeeeelin' it from a distance, hitting 6/8 in a team-high 24-point effort.
Jayson was hot in the first to keep things going, but every starter chowed tonight.
This isn't exactly the most earth-shattering take, but Game 6 is Game 7 for Miami. Even though we've struggled at home, if this series gets back to Boston, there's no way we aren't sealing the deal (although it would be the most Heat shit to win in 7...but we're not manifesting those vibes...the C's are doing this!!!).
As you've likely heard a thousand times this week, no team in NBA history has ever come back from a 3-0 deficit. The Celtics already made it further than 136 of the 150 teams that have fallen down 3-0 in a seven game series. Only three forced a Game 7. The C's can add themselves to that list with a win Saturday night. 
150-0 sure feels like the right time to break this streak. It's a nice round number. So in the future people can say your odds of coming back 3-0 are 150:1. If anybody's gonna do it...it's this Celtics team. The perfect storm is brewin': the better yet underperforming team went down 3-0; they have home court, so Game 7 is at home; Miami is the 8 seed (sure, they've been rolling, but are still an 8 seed...they weren't that good this year); Vibes---Boston already has the most famous 3-0 come back in American sports history, AND it's the Boston Celtics, one of the NBA's premiere franchises...it just makes sense that they'd be the ones to make history.​
Unfortunately, Malcolm's injury sounds serious. While he was briefly on the floor tonight, he looked terrible. I feel bad shitting on him before I knew he was hurt, but it seems like he's dealing with an injury that significantly hampers his play. He missed multiple bunnies last game. Trying to battle through it in the playoffs is admirable, but doing so might be worse for the team.
Back to good vibes. The fucking C's, man. We can do this. I thoroughly believe they can do this. I'm a narrative guy, and this is such a good story that you couldn't write it because the writers are on strike #WGAstrong. ​LOL
Sure, that quote is kind of fucking crazy, but I've realized...so is Joe. I've been hard (to say the least) on the coach who STEPPED UP the last few weeks, but I love this perspective from a dude who graduated from a high school a few miles away from my spot.
OH HOW THE TURNS TABLE, JIMOTHY!!!
I'm so proud of these guys for playing like a TEAM and showing the heart we've been dying to see. It was such an awesome game. Wire-to-wire win to really put some pressure on the Heat. They better beat us on Saturday, cause if they don't Monday is gonna be ROUGH. #BLEEDGREEN
P.S.
I think Ime's proud too.
The season 48 finale of SNL would've been last Saturday. Thanks to scumbags who'd rather lose millions than pay writers what they're worth, the season ended three episodes earlier than initially anticipated.
— SARAH SQUIRM (@SarahSquirm) May 20, 2023
Throughout the WGA strike, plenty of cast members (both past & present) have been out supporting the writers who make this staple of American pop culture possible.
— SARAH SQUIRM (@SarahSquirm) May 5, 2023 
I've been an SNL guy since my late single digits. It's one of my go-to background shows when I play Madden/2K. After returning from ub**in, I almost always watch the latest episode before bed. People have said SNL's not good anymore for, like.. 47 years, but that is simply not the case. Some casts are for sure better than others, and not every skit is a home run. However, this "rebuilding year' that saw multiple staples of the past decade move on was actually one of the better seasons in recent memory.
I've been curating this list over the past few days and surely forgot some sketches that killed me at the moment, but I wanted to share some of them with the loyal DOL readers in hopes of spreading some laughter. Since I'm not a huge ranking art guy (even though I do it all the time), I will post the sketches chronologically (at least by episode). For the sake of variety, I'm trying not to be oversaturated; I could easily include every James Austin Johnson Trump impersonation because he's so fucking good at them, and they're always hilarious. Let's look back at the best of SNL48 (according to Ole Dozo)!!!
"ManningCast Cold Open"
Episode 1: Miles Teller & Kendrick Lamar
I loved the self-awareness of this sketch + Jon Hamm is my fucking GUY. Miles Teller did a solid Peyton Manning; the analysis of the cast was outstanding; I loved his lines about Bowen. This bit was a fantastic opening to the season, even if the corn kid reference already feels ancient and outdated.
"Caribbean Queens"
Episode 1: Miles Teller & Kendrick Lamar
1. If you don't LOVE "Caribbean Queen" by Billy Ocean, I feel bad for you. That song will bump until the end of time.
2. I love Ego & Heidi. Their duo of middle-ages, shorts losing, terrible tippers was hilarious (and hot). 3. Heidi knocked the delivery of "well hook a girl up" out of the park. 4. They'd both give me a hardy.
"Try Guys"
Episode 2: Brandon Gleeson and Willow
IMO, this was one of the weakest episodes of the season (along with Woody's, which pains me to admit). I don't think Brandon Gleeson did a good job, but this parody of the Try Guy's over-the-top reaction to one of their members kissing someone who wasn't his wife was funny to someone like me who didn't know who the fuck these squids were until this week.
Weekend Update: Black Ariel
Episode 2: Brandon Gleeson & Willow
Just call her Ariel. Surely, I'm swayed by Ego in the mermaid costume, but my girl crushes it here. Her takes and reveals as Ariel are fucking hysterical.
Please Don't Destroy presents Wellness
Episode 3: Megan Thee Stallion
I've loved the addition of the Please Don't Destroy guys the last two seasons. They rarely miss, but this video killed me, especially the cigarette gym part.
Weekend Update: Drunk Uncle on Why He Hates Halloween
Episode 4: Jack Harlow
I too learned a lot during the Pandemimoore and am a sucker for former cast members making appearances (as we'll see throughout the list). It was nice to get an updated look at Drunk Uncle; his quiet-quitting bit was fantastic. Can you Minecraft my Metaverse please?
DONDA!!?!?!?!?!
"David Pumpkins Returns"
Episode 4: Jack Harlow
While it wasn't quite as good as the original (Jack Harlow can't act), it was still a solid callback to a recent classic. Any questions?
I've got one: who doesn't love Tom Hanks...and if so why? What happened to you?
"Covid Commercial"
Episode 5: Amy Shumer & Steve Lacy
SNL's been parodying commercials since the beginning, so it's no surprise they'd take on the big C. Sup, J6 Sarah?
"House of the Dragon"
Episode 6: Dave Chappelle & Black Star
I was a tad disappointed in the Dave Chapelle episode. I expected more from one of the top 2 living stand-ups (Chris Rock being the other). I'm 31, which means I was in middle school during Chappelle's Show, so of course, it was a significant part of my human development. As a nostalgic mother fucker, I loved seeing some of the show's greatest hits...even if I'm NOT and will likely NEVER be a Game of Thrones guy.
Weekend Update: Sarah News
Episode 6: Dave Chappelle & Black Star
Sarah is arguably my favorite cast member. I love her style of comedy and what she brings to the show. She has an extraordinary dynamic/chemistry with Colin, and I'm gonna stop here before this turns into a Sarah Squirm love letter. Wooooahhhh, Pennsylvania!
"Hello Kitty"
Episode 7: Keke Palmer & SZA
"Hello Kitty" was chaotic af in the best way possible. It reminds me of the most evil invention skit; like how the fuck does this turn into an ad for New York? What a rabbit/bunny/actually a little girl/hole...wait a second...Keke & Bowen crush it, and Sarah normal looks sexy AF. YOU'RE TELLING ME SHE'S A 48-YEAR-OLD THIRD GRADER WHO'S CLAPPING CHEEKS BAREBACK???? Now let's go see the Yankees on Broadway at MSG!
"Kenan & Kelly"
Episode 7: Keke Palmer & SZA
As previously stated, I've got a spot for nostalgia. It was great to see that Rigby's survived the Pandemimoore AND that Kel is still alive because back in like 2007, there were serious rumors that he wasn't! THERE GOES THE BUSSSSS
"Big Boys"
Episode 7: Keke Palmer & SZA
I love musical sketches, and this is a certified banger with an important message. You may think I'm biased as a big boy, but this shit slaps (like a big man's rolls when he's clapped it right!). Fat guys try really hard, even if their bodies aren't!
​Cecily will be missed (I still don't really get why she left mid-season...did she know the strike was coming and wanted an official good-bye moment?) but I'm glad she was a part of this winter wonderjam before leaving as the longest tenured woman cast member in SNL history.
Please Don't Destroy- Chelsea
Episode 9: Steve Martin + Martin Short & Brandi Carlile
This video is simply a masterclass in cringe comedy (with superb editing!). It continuously dives deeper into the bizarre—s/o Sarah Sherman's real dad.
"A Christmas Carol"
Episode 9: Steve Martin + Martin Short & Brandi Carlile
This sketch has Sarah Squirm's fingerprints (and internal organs) all over it! Honorable mention for the Maury parody sketch, Pinky or some shit.
"NFL on Fox Cold Open"
Episode 10: Aubrey Plaza & Sam Smith
I've given you guys a lot to watch and read, so I'll keep this one short: Bowen's George Santos was hysterical. Congrats on the tightest tuck award.
Weekend Update: April Ludgate and Leslie Knope
Episode 10: Aubrey Plaza & Sam Smith
I wish we got more of Amy/Leslie. But like I said earlier....I love when cast members return and am a sucker for nostalgia, so obvi seeing Amy Poehler back on Update as Leslie Knope was fucking awesome. She looked so happy and beautiful. Her line about Seth Myers crushed. Amy Poehler is an icon and I love her. New England girl, too!
"HIV Commercial"
Episode 10: Aubrey Plaza & Sam Smith
If I was ranking art in this blog, this is in my top 5 skits of the season. I recently saw an HIV commercial where they really said something about "containing a lot of medicines," which retroactively made this sketch even funnier. Devon Walker shines (no cap), and Mikey Day's lousy dancing is better than my actual moves. It's such a funny concept and was executed quite well. Be careful playing basketball this summer; you don't want to catch AIDS the same way Magic Johnson did!
"King Brothers Toyota"
Episode 11: Michael B. Jordan & Lil Baby
Gun to my head, this is my favorite sketch of the season and maybe the best overall episode (it's between this and Pedro's IMO). The writing, the delivery, the concept...all brilliant. Some may even call it a fun house mirror held up to the American dream, but idk about all that,,,just that sales warrior in Christ Brian Pattmore saves the day for the King Brothers in this zany parody of a car dealership commercial.
"Party in Palm Springs"
Episode 11: Michael B. Jordan & Lil Baby
Everybody in this skit fucking kills it, which is ironic since it ends by bringing new life to the world. Sarah's wig & eye makeup is sexy, and Punkie's titty meat be POPPIN'. Heidi's Galaxy (perfect phone for her character) charger is hysterically long. It's just such an awkward mess. What a journey. BITCH WHERE YOU GETTIN' PEANUT BUTTER??
"Wing Pit"
Episode 12: Pedro Pascal & Coldplay
Nobody does over-the-top commercials like SNL. Heidi's irritating voice/persona and the intentionally awful dialogue between people at the party are a perfect homage to these type of ads. That's something we can both agree on.
Weekend Update: Punxsutawney Phil
Episode 12: Pedro Pascal & Coldplay
Michael Longfellow showed plenty of promise this season (especially with his update characters/playing himself), but this a little too real look at groundhog day/life in general is some of his best work. The beaver line was expected by people like me but still lol funny.
Weekend Update: Milly Pounds and Shirty
Episode 12: Pedro Pascal & Coldplay
Weekend Update crushed it all season per usual, but of all the weird characters and appearances, my favorite was Milly Pounds and Shirty. James Austin Johnson is the most talented person on the show and Devon Walker was IMO the strongest rookie. It's wild JAJ is still technically a featured player when he carries the show like Jan Wouters.
No exaggeration; I've seen this skit 50+ times and it still makes me laugh. Hopefully, this was not the last we see of these two....I'm allergic to dairy.
"Lisa From Temecula"
Episode 12: Pedro Pascal & Coldplay
If SNL gave out an MVP award every season, Ego could've easily won it for season 48. I know moments ago I said that "King Brothers Toyota" was my favorite sketch of the year, but it'll have to be tied with Lisa because this shit is laugh out loud funny and borderline perfect (Pedro's delivery kinda annoys me..but that may be intentional).
At first, I was like really? We were getting back to back restaurant skits; this is so fucking lazy. But to their credit, this skit is phenomenal. Lisa from Temecula is probably the signature sketch of the season and deservingly so. It's soooo fucking funny. Everybody breaks, even the background actors. The look on Bowen's face after Ego says "cause we black?" is priceless. You'll be hard pressed to find a better sketch from SNL48. "Bitch, we the youngest of six girls," was another well executed line. The only thing that could've made this funnier is more spilled drinks.
Various Weekend Update Bits
Episode 13: Woody Harrelson & Jack White
I love Woody, but this episode was not very good. Weekend Update did the heavy lifting. Foul on Davis.
p.s. Heidi...I would if I could!
Weekend Update: Sarah's News (Birthday Edition)
Episode 14: Travis Kelce & Kelsea Ballerini
Okay maybe I lied about over-saturation, but Sarah genuinely murders it (in a good way) here. The cake (and how she handled it) was so cute.
"NFL Gives Back" **cut for time**
Episode 14: Travis Kelce & Kelsea Ballerini
Some of SNL's funniest sketches end up getting cut for time and finding a second life on Youtube. While I wouldn't call this the funniest sketch of all time, it would've been the best of Travis Kelce's episode had it made it to air.
Honestly, the American Girl Doll and night club sketches were solid too, but this blog is already long enough. Just figured I'd give them a quick s/o while I do a quick read through.
"The Parent Trap"
Episode 15: Jenna Ortega & The 1975
I didn't watch Wednesday, so I didn't realize at the time that Fred Armisen's in it with Jenna Ortega (never heard of her before this show). Fred is one of my all-time favorite cast members, so I was pumped to see him in the monologue and obviously this sketch. He fucking kills it. His timing is as good as ever. Even though he's got a full head of hair in this bit, he sorta reminded me of Rodger Brush. If there were an Olympic podium for SNL48 sketches, this would get the Bronze.
P.S. The 1975 were the best musical guest of the season.
"Weekend Update: James Austin Johnson's Random Celebrity Impressions"
Episode 15: Jenna Ortega & The 1975
It really is between Ego and JAJ for SNL48 MVP, in a rare appearance simply playing himself, JAJ shows off some of his gifted impressions. The Trump Negroni bit may be his best work. The way he says it's a three ingredient drink is spot-fucking-on. I hope James Austin Johnson serves a decade at 30 Rock.
Also, Colin and Che killed it all season. I'm just too lazy to rake through all their jokes to single out a few for this already super long blog. It's currently 7:48! I need to finish before tipoff! #BleedGreen
"Midwife"
Episode 16: Quinta Brunson & Lil Yatchy
We're speeding up now...Midwife was just classically well executed over-the-top humor. When Bowen came out with the wig to the floor, I lost it. It's gross that Macklemore is a throwback now. Time truly is a bitch... just like the midwife, who while you were reading that, was busy delivering this baby.
To be continued?....
"Trump Easter Cold Open"
Episode 17: Molly Shannon & Jonas Brothers
In a season full of incredible Trump impersonations from JAJ, this one's my favorite/the best. I think I could've written this one a lot faster. We would've done it faster.
Please Don't Destroy: Molly Shannon 2K23
Episode 17: Molly Shannon & Jonas Brothers
This concept was hilarious (even tho it's recycled from an old PDD vid). I wish I had Shannon 95 back in the day on my Game Boy Color.
"Weekend Update: Jafar"
Episode 17: Molly Shannon & Jonah Brothers
I'm starting to sound like a broken record but this was perfectly executed by Bowen. His delivery on the "a little light in the loafers" and "yeah, I loveeee cooch" lines was out of this world. Fuck Ron DeSantis, I literally hope you d1e. You're a fascist/racist fuck who wants to destroy America!
"The Play"
Episode 17: Molly Shannon & Jonah Brothers
This one takes on a ride and when I watched it high ass balls the first time I was cracking up. I almost forgot about while making this blog, which can likely be blamed on the second half of my previous sentence.
"Drug Commercial"
Episode 17: Molly Shannon & Jonah Brothers
Menopause: gross, but funny! Molly's character shitting on the other dancers was also funny. Kenan comes in and closes this out like prime Mariano.
"Lisa from Temecula: Wedding"
Episode 18: Ana de Armas & Karol G
I'm pumped we got more Lisa. I'd like to think we would've seen her at least once more in the final three episodes, but her delivery of "smoked" making fun of Bowen's character killed me. I could kinda see what was coming with the salad but it was still fucking hilarious.
Weekend Update: Genesis Fry
Episode 18: Ana de Armas & Karol G
This Florence Welch version of Sarah Squirm gets my blood pumping like Reeboks. No matter who her character is, Sarah and Colin are one of the funniest duos on SNL.
Relax! Relax! This is the (2nd to) last video in this super long, passion project blog. Should my Barstool dream never happen, working for SNL is up there for Dozo life goals (but I ain't no fuckin' scab!!!) Lastly, fuck Hitler, but the use of that Hitler quote with Colin was hysterical. Once again proving that anything can be funny, you fucking children (loser adults) who cry about comedy.
"Nail Salon"
Episode 18: Ana de Armas & Karol G
We end with some more over-the-top gross humor. I'll never out grow that.
....get it, "out grow" in a skit about super long nasty overgrown nails. LOL dozo...
Thank you for making this far. It's now 8:15 pm and I'm met my goal of finishing this blog before tipoff. I wanted to make a photoshop collage to go with this blog but simply don't have the time. You likely won't see this blog until after Game 5 ends and for my own mental sake...hopefully there's a Game 6 Saturday night. GO CELTICS!!! YOU CAN DO THIS!!! I BELIEVE IN YOU EVEN THOUGH I'VE BEEN OPENLY UPSET WITH YOUR EARLIER PERFORMANCES THROUGHOUT THIS PLAYOFF RUN!!!!!!
Song: The Best (1989) Artist: Tina Turner Album: Foreign Affairs I've referenced this song in countless DOL blogs (mainly back in the 2018 Sox days). R.I.P. Queen, you were simply the best! |
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