Yesterday Dan Auerbach of The Black Keys released the lead single "Shine On Me" from his second solo album "Waiting On A Song".
It's more poppy and upbeat sounding than anything I've ever heard from The Black Keys, The Arcs (Auerbach's other band) or from his other solo stuff before.
It's still growing on me after multiple listens but it's definitely different, kind of hard to believe this is him at first. (Which I'm not even saying is a bad thing) I'm not like the "cool" hipsters bashing him in the youtube comments. I understand that artist change overtime, just like all people do.
The guitar in "Shine On Me" kind of reminds me of the riff from Haim's "Honey and I" and beat has a little bit of George Harrison's "I Got My Mind Set On You" going on. HIGHly recommend checking out the music video . V colorful featuring a live action Auerbach in a trippy cartoon world with frogs, a ton of aliens, and a demolition derby. Looks like this was a lot of fun to make.
With Auerbach's solo album coming out on June 2nd and Black Key's drummer, Patrick Carney busy working with girlfriend, Michelle Branch (remember her from 2001???) on her latest album. It seems like the odds of The Blacks Keys getting together to make an album in 2017 are minuscule to say the least. Which means fans of the Akron, Ohio based duo will need to wait at least another year.
After basically touring non stop for 5 years after their breakout 2010 album "Brothers", The Black Keys are taking a well deserved break.
The band has not released new music since 2014's "Turn Blue" which IMO was a disappointment compared to their last three albums. It's not bad album, but it does not have the staying and replaying power of Brothers, El Camino or even Attack and Release. I don't really crave hearing it like I do with their previous works.
Carney had this to say in an interview with Rolling Stone earlier this month about the future of The Black Keys:
""I love making music with Dan and I'm excited for when we do that next, and we will do it. But both of us have PTSD from being on the road constantly," says Carney. "This will be my first summer not working since I was in 7th grade. I mean, I wake up every day and I'm like, 'I can't believe the shit Dan and I accomplished.' But every day, it feels further and further away, even though it's only been a year and a half. I was talking to [Arcade Fire's] Win Butler and some other musicians, and I was, 'What the fuck, we haven't played a show in a year and a half!' and they're like, 'Dude, every time we put a record out we take a year and a half off. You need to chill out.'"
To me as a Black Keys fan dying for new music that quote is sort of bittersweet. Obviously they deserve time off to relax and enjoy what they've earned, but as a music fan you always want more of your favorite artists. It's encouraging to see Carney say "we will do it" referring to another album. That makes me hopeful someday we'll get next music. But at the same time I feel like it could be a very long time before we get new music from the duo out of Akron since he said it feels like "they're growing further and further away everyday".
It has only been a year and half since they last toured which isn't that long, but in the time since their last album there has been little to no detail released in regards to plans for a follow up to Turn Blue. All their social media accounts have basically been inactive except for the occasional sale on t-shirts for two years.
In the time since "Turn Blue" was released Dan Auerbach has started a new side-project called "The Arcs" who in 2015 released an album called "Yours, Dreamily" and now he's doing a solo album. To me this kind of feels like it could be the start of a break up. At least every reading this in regards to the break the Black Keys are taking:
"He's a different type of person than I am. He has a harder time appreciating the things he's earned," he says of Auerbach. "Do you know what people say on their death bed? They fucking regret working too much, and Dan and I have worked our asses off. I'd like to see him take a break. The reason why [the Black Keys] are taking a break is for him to take a break."
I don't know, I could totally be off base here but it's odd to me when they say the whole reason they're taking a break from The Black Keys is because (in the Rolling Stone article) Carney said they both have PTSD from being on the road so much.
Yet Dan is out touring and making new music. I mean I get it, as a musician he probably just loves doing this and it's not even work to him, it just worries that this time that is supposed to be about taking a break has not been. Could this be the beginning of the end for The Black Keys?
This feels a lot like when a couple takes a break with the intentions of getting back together. Then once they're out in the world single again having fun all of sudden, maybe one (or both) doesn't want to go back. Like in that movie "How To Be Single".
Dan and Pat could have intentions of getting back together, but they played together for almost 15 years. They released 8 albums together. That's a pretty good run. Lots of really good bands don't make it that long. This just reminds me a lot of the White Stripes and how they ended with Jack White just doing a million side projects when they were on "hiatus" only to never reunite. While I don't expect Dan's solo album to be such a big commercial success that he just says "fuck it", and only does that, but you never know what could happen.
All I know is that I would really like some new Black Keys music. At the very least maybe a tweet from them letting their fans know what the future holds for them. I don't think that's asking for too much.
Song: Shine On Me
Artist: Dan Auerbach
Album: Waiting On A Song
In 2016 I broke down the MLB season over three blogs. Not going to be nearly as intense this year. Mainly because I haven't been paying attention to spring training that much with the exception of early Tebow time, but even that lost it's luster quickly. Also I'd like people to actually read it.
Even with 20 minutes of research and going with my gut I still feel like my picks will still be on par with all the so called "experts". Last year I correctly (lets-take-a-look-back-at-my-mlb-preview.html) picked the Cubs to end their World Series drought, the NL Rookie of the year, and AL Manager of the year. Although I did have Joey Gallo (who?) as my AL Rookie of the Year and he had one hit (granted it was a homer) all season.
With real games a few days away I think it's time to give my official predictions
AL East Champs: Boston Red Sox
Injuries on the pitching staff scare the shit out of me. I think things with David Price are not going to end well. Who knows what to expect from the back end of the rotation? I think Rick Porcello will come back to earth and pitch like a #3. Luckily with Chris Sale that might be enough. I honestly think Chris Sale may win 25 games with this line-up.
Even without David Ortiz with all the young talent on this roster, mixed with Pedroia and Hanley I expect the Red Sox offense to pick up right where it left off. Wouldn't be surprised to see a bounce back year from Sandoval. Mookie Betts is a top 5 position player in all of baseball. I am so excited to see what he does this year. I really think he got screwed on MVP last year and this year he takes it home. A full season of Andrew Beinitendi should be awesome to watch. Between him, JBJ and Mookie Betts the Red Sox have the best defensive outfield in all of baseball IMO.
I'm sure I seem biased picking my team to win the East, but between this offense, Chris Sale, and the depth of pitching, this year will find a way to win the East. I still don't know if this team has what it takes to win in October after the disappointment of last season but I sure as hell expect them to be playing then.
AL East Standings:
1. Red Sox
2. Blue Jays
AL Central Champs: Cleveland Indians
Everybody on earth is picking the Indians to win the AL Central which kind of scares me picking them. Plus it's Cleveland, this city has been disappointing it's fans for 60 years. Don't let one miracle comeback by the Cavs (aided by the suspension of Draymond Green) fool you. The way the World Series ended last year is peak Cleveland. That's how things really go. 3-1 lead, going home, lose in heartbreaking fashion.
However the Indians are so loaded the only way I think they miss the playoffs is if their plane crashes. Top to bottom this team is stacked.
Between their rotation, which is getting Carlos Carrsaco back and their line-up which just happened to add the best available bat in free agency, Edwin Encarnacion. The Tribe with the likes of Francisco Lindor, Michael Brantley, Jason Kipnis (once he comes back) are poised to return to the Fall Classic in 2017.
This team was a win away from a championship last year and between all the guys they're getting back healthy in 2017 and the addition of Edwin Encarnacion this team may wrap up the division in August. They also will have Andrew Miller for a full season. I just hope Cleveland actually shows up and supports this team because they are going to be really fun to watch in 2017.
AL Central Standings:
4. White Sox
AL West Champs: Houston Astros
After a disappointing 2016 I expect this young and hungry team to return to the postseason. I don't expect the same sort of down year from Dallas Keuchel in 2017. The pitching staff as a whole really was a let down after a fun 2015 that saw the Astros nearly knock off the eventual World Series champion Indians.
This team added some veteran leadership in Carlos Beltran, Josh Reddick and Brian McCann, in a line-up that already features to MVP candidates in Jose Altuve and Carlos Correa. In an exciting race between the Rangers, Mariners and Astros I think Houston finds a way to get back to October.
AL West Standings:
Wild Cards: Toronto Blue Jays & Seattle Mariners
The Blue Jays have one of the best rotations in baseball. While losing Edwin hurts, this team still has guys like Josh Donaldson, Troy Tulowitzki, Jose Bautista and Kevin Pillar. I don't think they're gonna be nearly as exciting as the last two seasons, but I do think the Blue Jays find a way to be competitive, mainly due to their pitching to at least make the wild card game.
As for the Mariners, they hold the longest active playoff drought in Major League Baseball, it's been since their record setting 116 win 2001 season since Seattle made the postseason. I think this is the year that changes. I want to see King Felix pitching in the postseason. The Mariners cannot waste one of the best arms of this generation any longer.
NL East Champs: New York Mets
I loveeeee the Mets starting rotation. When healthy it's the best in baseball. Three legitimate number 1's between Thor, Matt Harvey, and deGrom. Zac Wheeler is back as well, and fellow long haired fire thrower, Robert Gsellman will fill out the rotation, who is expected to do big things in his first full year in the majors.
While the Nationals are the sexy pick to win the East and even the World Series, I think that the Mets pitching will keep them in the hunt all year long. The only question is will they be able to score enough? Last year Curtis Granderon, (who I know is usually their leadoff man and it's a different game in the NL) had 30 HR last year with only 59 RBI. How that is possible blows my mind.
I feel like the Mets entire line-up is guys that hit for low averages, strike out a ton and have power. It's a roll of the dice to pick these guys but I have a soft spot in my heart for the Mets. I think they make the playoffs for a third straight season and just edge out the Nats. Plus I think the Nats have their own JV Giants thing going where they win their division and lose in the NLDS every even year so next year they'll be back atop the NL East.
NL East Standings:
NL Central Champs: Chicago Cubs
After winning it all for the first time in 108 years, the Cubbies enter the season as defending champs for the first time since Teddy Roosevelt was in office.
The Cubs are the best team in baseball and I'm not going to waste my time here. Rizzo, Bryant, Schwarber, Russell, Zobrist, Biaz, Lester, Arrietta, Hendricks do I need to keep going?
They may disappoint in the playoffs but the Cubs are going to be fantastic in 2017. They may win the Central by 15 games.
NL Central Standings:
NL West Champs: San Francisco Giants
If the Giants had any bullpen last year they might've kept their even year tradition going. Instead they lost in 4 to the Cubs in the NLDS. They were the best team in baseball in the first half, and one of the worst in the second half. Now that they've addressed the closer situation by adding one of the best in baseball, Mark Melcacon, I don't believe the Giants will be blowing as many games as they did last year where they had something crazy like 30 blown saves a team.
With a core of proven winners like Posey, Belt, Crawford, and Pence I think the Giants pull off the minor upset and edge out the Dodgers.
NL West Standings:
NL Wild Cards: Washington Nationals and Los Angeles Dodgers
Many have these teams winning their divisions, but I believe too many people are sleeping on the Mets and Giants. In a rematch of the NLDS last year it'd be awesome to get Scherzer v Kershaw again. Both teams will make the playoffs and if they end up winning their respective divisions it wouldn't shock me.
Wild Card Games:
American League: Blue Jays over Mariners
National League: Nationals over Dodgers
(1) Indians over (4) Blue Jays in 4
(2) Red Sox over (3) Astros in 4
(1) Cubs over (4) Nationals in 5
(3) Giants over (2) Mets in 4
Indians over Red Sox in 6
Cubs over Giants in 7
Indians over Cubs in 7
I think these are hands down the two best teams in baseball, while they both will have targets on their backs, both have vastly improved and have all the fire power to return to the Fall Classic. I think the American League is a two team race between Cleveland and Boston and with all the question marks the Red Sox have, right now I have to give the edge to the Tribe. I feel like picking a rematch is kind of lame, but we haven't had one since 1957-58 between the Braves and Yankees (who split) so it's not like it's a common occurrence in baseball.
American League Rookie of the Year: Andrew Beintendi LF Boston Red Sox
Killed it in his time with the big club last year. Now he's expected to come in and be a huge part of this team's success. I really hope dumb ass John Farrell doesn't platoon him because this kid is going to be a star and should be playing every day.
My made up projected stats:
.311 22 HR 84 RBI 22 SB
National League Rookie of the Year: Dansby Swanson SS Atlanta Braves
#1 overall pick that the Braves basically stole from the D-backs for Shelby Miller. Great flow. Swanson is going to be a star on a team that may not be a bad as everybody expects.
American League Manager of the Year: Scott Servais Seattle Mariners
Going all in on the Mariners making the Wild-Card game and technically ending their playoff drought. If they do so their manager by default wins the award.
National League Manager of the Year: Bud Black Colorado Rockies
The Colorado Rockies have been a hot pick to make some noise this season. Bud Black despite not having a great record was highly respected for what he did in San Diego. I think the Rockies may be low key contenders this year given their offense. It's also not a huge deal when Joe Maddon or Bruce Bouchy makes the playoffs so I don't expect them to be in the running. This usually doesn't go to the team with the best record, but more so a manager who got the most out of his team. I think Bud Black does that this season.
AL Cy Young: Chris Sale Boston Red Sox
Chris Sale has perennially been a top 5 Cy Young vote guy on a horrible White Sox team. I think with the added run support from the Sox his record may be inflated, but given the stuff he has I expect a mid 2's ERA with a million strikeouts. Red Sox need him to be a Cy Young caliber pitcher to have any chance this year.
National League Cy Young: Noah Syndergaard New York Mets
Thor is one of my favorite players in all of baseball. While most experts are penciling Kershaw yet again, I think Syndergaard has a huge year for the Mets. I picked him last year and am going to pick him every year until he wins, which shouldn't be very long.
American League MVP: Mookie Betts RF Boston Red Sox
Mookie Bett had a break out year last year finishing 2nd to Mike Trout in AL MVP voting. I know I've picked Red Sox in 2 other major awards, but they all have a very legitimate chance of winning. I think MVP should go to a player on a team in contention, not just the best player in the league. Trout had a good year last year but I still think Mookie deserved it more given how much he mattered to a division winning team. Mookie may go 40-40 this year so I'm picking my guy and don't want to be lame like everybody in America saying Trout.
National League MVP: Bryce Harper RF Washington Nationals
2015 NL MVP. Had a down year in 2016, expect a bounce back from one of the best players in the game. Plus he can't let Mookie take his crown as best RF in baseball, so for his sake he better win MVP.
Song: She's So High
Artist: Tal Bachman
Album: Tal Bachman
A lot of people hate Draymond Green. I actually kind of like him. He's a 2nd round pick who's worked hard to become an All-Star. Yes, he has a ton of talent around him, but he's a very solid NBA player who's perfect for what is asked of him on the Warriors. He's a competitor which I like since AAU culture is ruining the NBA. I don't agree with a lot of shit he says but that is not the case here.
People on twitter have been shitting on Draymond Green for saying "You Don't Move the Raiders" since they already have moved before. (as they were the Los Angeles Raiders from 1982-1994) Plus with the Golden State Warriors leaving Oakland for San Francisco people have been saying he should keep his mouth shut, but I think that's an entirely different situation. The Golden State Warriors are regional team in the sense that they have fans across the bay area in both Oakland and San Francisco, so I don't think moving across the bridge is the same as the Oakland Raiders leaving to go to Las Vegas, Nevada.
While maybe he could've said it more eloquently I think his main point is valid. Some teams shouldn't be moved. I think the Raiders are one of them. I'm really not crazy about any city losing it's fans, (san-diego-chargers-are-moving-to-los-angeles.html) but I'm more okay with really small market, or irrelevant franchises with little fan support (sorry Rams) moving. But despite the Raiders futility they still have a die-hard following. The Oakland Raiders are still one of the premiere NFL franchises with loads of history, despite semi-irrelevance on the field the last decade or so. If you were ranking all time NFL franchises, Raiders have to be top 10 easily and teams like that shouldn't be moved plain and simple. If I was a Raiders fan I don't know how I'd feel. Part of me would be angry and not want to spend my money supporting a franchise that's abandoning it's home and fans. Then part of me knowing they're leaving would want to soak them in as much as possible before they move, especially with their recent revival. So as much as I hate to sit on a fence, with this issue I'd support what fans want to do either way, I see both sides.
I just think it's a straight-up greed move by the NFL and Mark Davis which is clear after 30 of the 31 other teams voted to allow the Raiders to move. Bums me out that the other owners don't care at all about loyalty or integrity. 30 other owners don't care about league history, they just want heavier pockets which this move to Vegas will do.
As much as I don't really like Bill Simmons, he was right when he said that "billionaires should pay for their own fucking stadiums." The only owner to vote against the move was the Dolphin's Stephen Ross who said that teams should "exhaust everything to try to stay in a city" and owners "should have deep pockets to deliver" stadium funding. Which I agree with. Teams shouldn't be looking to jump ship at cities that are willing to build them new stadiums, all efforts to stay should be made which I don't believe to be the case here.
As for the move to Vegas. Now Sin City will have an NHL and NFL franchise. I personally think it's bad news. Sports will claim they care about player safety, and "character issues" teams then have no issue putting pro athletes in Las fucking Vegas. Do they really think that will end well? I'm saying by week 6 whenever the Raiders move someone either on the team or a visiting franchise will have players getting in some serious issues with all of what Vegas has to offer. Between the gambling, drugs, hookers, and everything else in Vegas I wouldn't be shocked if someone ends up dead. Dude's are gonna be living like it's a bachelor-party year round. Put some 22 year old rookie with what he thinks is endless money in Vegas and watch what happens. I bet nothing bad will come out of that.. It's just a really sad move by the NFL that just bums me out. The Raiders and Oakland is something that should never be separated. I'm glad Draymond Green who seems to have a pulse on the area said something.
A single mother in Georgia said she was banned from attending her six-year-old girl's elementary school father-daughter dance after she tried to go dressed up like a man.
Amy Peterson said her daughter, Gracie, was looking forward to having her mom play the role of her father, given that her dad is out of the picture, ABC affiliate WSB reported on Monday. But the school in Henry County, Georgia, forbade them from attending the annual dance.
"To me, I’ve identified myself as her father and her mother because that’s what I’ve done for six years," Peterson told WSB. "She was okay with it. She was excited that her friends were going to get to see this."
Peterson said she filed paperwork a month ahead of last Friday's dance to let the school know that she would be attending.
But Peterson said she received a phone call from the school’s principal about an hour before the dance telling them not to come, according to WSB.
"She [the principal] said, 'No. I forbid you to come and if you show up we will turn you away,'" Peterson said, recalling the conversation. "How do you explain that to a 6-year-old? You can’t go to a dance because you don’t have a male role model in your life?"
Peterson said she believes the school handled the situation poorly.
The Henry County school district defended its decision in a statement.
"The school is cognizant that different dynamics exist across households in our school system," the statement read. "There are multiple parent engagement events and opportunities to participate with their kids annually at this school in an effort to make that connection and build school spirit."
But Peterson said the policy makes children like Gracie feel left out and compared the school's behavior to bullying.
"They're already being bullied. Why be bullied by the school too?" Peterson said. "Why is she being punished because she doesn’t have a dad?"
(If you read my take without reading the article, just know this isn't like a transgender situation. This mom was just doing this so her daughter could try to experience the father-daughter dance.)
I feel badly for this girl. I honestly do. As a child of divorce, I always feel for kids who grow up in a "non-traditional" households. As much as we wanna normalize it and say it's normal, it's not. It's just not. Simple as that. It's not the same as having a childhood with married parents. I know first hand. I'm not diving into my own life right now, but I do feel sorry for this little girl that she couldn't go because she doesn't have a dad. That sucks.
And I know she's six years old, so we should want to protect her, but I actually think the school made the right call here. And I usually always side against school boards. They are worst and are a major reason why I'm so hesitant to dive into teaching. There's literally thousands of examples of school boards making horrible decisions on what seems like common sense issues.
But guess what kid, life sucks.
Might as well just find that out now. Life isn't fair, not everybody is the same. Maybe knowing that this young can help you prepare better.
I'm sorry you don't have a dad, I really am. But guess what, a lot of people don't have dads. A lot of people don't have moms either. Some people have two moms or dads. Some re-marry. Some kids don't have parents at all.
You know I'd like a girlfriend too but don't have one, doesn't mean I think it should be illegal for other people to get married just because I'm single.
Maybe it's cold but I'm a big believer in tradition and Father-Daughter and Mother-Son dances having been going on forever, they shouldn't just stop because there's people who don't fit the description. If you don't have that parent in your life you can't go. Sorry. It doesn't make you anti- the other stuff it just means on this issue that's how you feel. If they want to have another event for kids of non traditional households I don't see an issue with that at all.
Plus it's awesome that you have a mom who would do this for you. I genuinely mean that. I don't know a lot of moms who would draw a beard on their face and wear that ugly short sleeve-button down with a bow-tie and fedora. Then again I don't know too many moms with kids that young.
You probably have a great mom who wants to give you everything she can and give you as normal of a childhood as possible. But that's the thing, you have a great MOM. I know today in 2017 we want to blur the lines of gender and race in society, but can we just accept the fact that not everybody is the same? We preach diversity then try to put everybody in a cookie-cutter, I don't get it. If you don't have a dad you don't go to the father-daughter dance. That simple. It's not like this is the first girl on earth to ever not have a dad in the picture.
I do commend this mom for trying though. But she made a vital mistake by telling the school ahead of time this is what she is doing. Would you call a bank ahead of time to let them know you're coming to rob it?
In 2017 with gender shit a wicked hot button issue, she should've just gone dressed as a guy, walked in confidently and just tried to blend in. Confidence is key, so I've heard. Then if anybody hassles you say "I identify as male." end of discussion.
It's like when a woman says she was having "feminine issues" or something like as to why didn't show up to work. Instant conversation ender, no need to go any deeper. You already said enough.
I feel kinda the same way with gender shit, it's such a messy situation that most people will just be like, "okay whatever I don't want to deal with this, just go in." At least that's what I would do because again I feel bad this 6 year old got denied. Now I know in Georgia that may not work out, but it's gotta be better than letting them know ahead of time.
Song: Buried a Lie
Artist: Senses Fail
Album: Let It Enfold You
I honestly feel bad trolling Falcon fans, they never hurt anybody. They know they're a joke. That Atlanta sports don't matter. They just want to live their lives and root for an irrelevant franchise. Pretty much like the rest of us (Patriot fans obvi excluded). I'm sure they're very nice people, so I'm sorry to pour some salt in the wounds, but this is just so perfect given all the variables.
Today is March 28th 2017.
With 17 minutes left in Super Bowl LI the Atlanta Falcons held a 28-3 lead.
3-28-17. Get it?
While this is one situation I think writing the date the European way makes more sense so it would be written 28-3-17, either way you slice it the Falcons did not win this football game despite being up 25 points with 17 minutes left to play.
They ended up losing the game 34-28 in overtime. But this isn't to talk about them losing the game, because I'm sure the 84 Falcon fans out there are still hurting. They know the choked. They know Dan Quinn and Kyle Shannahan did not do a great job of coaching with a lead. They know Tom Brady led the greatest comeback in Super Bowl history. They know James White did whatever he wanted against their defense. They know what happened.
So instead of reminding them that they lost, let's focus on the positive today on March 28th, 2017.
They were winning 28-3. Let's celebrate that! So close! Maybe next time!!!! For this one day just remember how close you were! Let March 28th be a day for us all to remember how close the Atlanta Falcons were!
Almost had it!
Trying to get back on the horse today. I haven't been blogging as much as I'd like lately. Mainly because of the frustration I get from trying to make blogs on a laptop that runs like it's personally mad at me. It's like it is holding a grudge at me from weird "stuff" I looked up like 6 years ago. Grow up, Macbook all I ask is that it doesn't take you 25 minutes to add a picture to a blog.
Cause let me tell you, when it takes you 3 hours to do something that should take 45 minutes it will drive you crazy and make you hate doing what you once loved. That and I have been having trouble finding shit worth writing about plus I'm low-key depressed, but whatever, that's not what this is about. When I saw this tweet from KFC I got excited.
Incase you couldn't tell by the everything about me, I'm not exactly the world's happiest person. I'm very jaded from years of being nice and having nothing to show for it. It has broken me and turned me into someone I don't love being. I don't like being a dick, but it's other people's fault. Just like #1 on my list (you'll see that shortly) I'm going to blame others for my shortcomings.
Luckily I can channel that into this blog.
So because I love to go over the top and instead of just replying in a tweet, here is a blog to show (my range, and humor) my reply to KFC and my Top 5 #PeopleYouHate
Honorable Mention: Roger Goodell
If this question was posed before the Super Bowl Roger Goodell may be the #1 man on my list, but winning really does cure everything. Plus it's March so the NFL isn't really the #1 thing on my brain. Talk to me again in October.
I have talked ad nauseam (just learned it's not "at nauseam" when trying to figure out how to spell nauseam) about my hate for Goodell. No need to give that piece of shit anymore burn on DOL. I do still hate his bird faced guts, but I fuck him. He's not even worth getting a Top 5 spot.
#5 Glenny Balls
Unlike the rest of this list I don't actually hate Glenny Balls as a man, but I hate what he represents.
All the Barstool people love him, he's probably a good dude, and as a fat man I feel bad shitting on one of my own. We're supposed to stick together.
That being said, as someone who's trying to make it in the blogging/personality game when a fellow fatty like yourself gets a job, essentially for just for having a ridiculous nickname and being funny looking it pisses you off. You know who else has ridiculous nicknames and is funny looking?
Me. It should've been me.
I'm not gonna rip on this kid too much, since this is tongue in cheek, but as someone who has a history of being too honest, to a point where it screws them over, yes I'm jealous and think it should be me. Of course I think I'm funnier and would be better for BSS than him. Even if that's not true, as a competitor you have to believe it. It hurts me to watch this kid living my dream.
Especially when you constantly are reminded of all the cool shit he's doing by your friends who also don't believe in you or your dream. Just getting bashed on in the group chat in "my boys".
"Hey Doz did you see Glenny did this?" and things of that nature.
Just rubbing it in my face that he got hired at my dream job in their eyes over me, That I created URIprobs (over 5,000 followers NBD), and have been writing for a year and this kid got a job just because he's fat and runs kind of fast. That shit eats at you.
So Glenny I don't hate you, but I hate the idea of you and what you've caused me in my personal life. I'd love to hopefully be co-workers someday and shit maybe even our fat asses could be friends, but until that day comes you are the fire the fuels me to prove my worth. So yeah I guess I hate you, but for good reason.
#4 John Elway
This man is solely responsible for the demise of Tim Tebow, so of course I hate his fucking guts. As the leader of the Tim Tebow got black balled fan club, I despise Elway.
This horse-faced, I won't play in Baltimore asshole rewarded Tim Tebow, the man who made the Denver Broncos relevant again (let's not forget what a mess the Broncos were from 2006-2010. Tebow while flawed, made the Broncos matter again in the national landscape) By bashing him in the media constantly, and shipped him off to the fucking Jets the first chance he got.
Elway told Tebow he needed to pull the trigger, and when he did that and led the Broncos to their first playoff win in 5 seasons with a horrible team that started 1-4, he sent him to the dumpster fire that was the Rex Ryan led New York Jets.
It was the beginning of the end for Tim Tebow, and the beginning of a 4 year run of success in Denver that included two Super Bowl appearances, and a win in Super Bowl 50.
I hate the Broncos, between giving Peyton Manning a home, throwing Tebow to the curb, and beating the Patriots twice in the AFC-Championship. It's all because of Elway and starts with how he treated Tim Tebow.
P.S. Let's not forget Elway lost 3 Super Bowls in 4 years in the 80's. People should talk about that more.
#3 Meredith Palmer
Excluding Robert California who was only there for one, horrible season, IMO Meredith Palmer was the worst character on The Office.
She is what's wrong with society. An alcoholic, divorced, low-key whore, ginger who did such a great job raising her son that he became a stripper and got a face tattoo. Like why wasn't that a bigger deal? Her son had a face tattoo and became a male stripper. Not even the good kind either. It's not like he's some stud and it makes sense. He's doing it to survive because his scumbag mother did such a poor job raising him the only skill he learned in life was how to take off his clothes. Then once she found out her son was a stripper (by stripping at a party she was at) instead of being outraged or disgusted like any normal mother should be she just told her son to keep working. Just think about how fucked up you have to be to let that fly?
She is a real piece of shit who was the one negative to an ensemble cast that may be the best in television history. I'm glad Michael hit her with his car, I wish he hit her twice. I'm just bummed that by doing so we found out she had rabies and saved her. I haaaaaaaate Meredith. Glad Pam and Jim's kids gave her lice too.
#2 Max Kellerman
Just look at that douche. I can't even try to kind of be funny about this one. I genuinely hate this man. I hate everything about this guy. I hate his stupid salt and pepper stubble-beard. I hate his face. I hate his voice. I hate his takes. I hate when he used to word et cetera in his arguments instead of giving actual information. I hate that he exists. I hate his Tom Brady take. I hate that he gets paid to talk sports when he just wants to try to sound smarter than everybody. I hate that he's so awful that he makes me take the side of Stephen A. Smith (who I also hate). I cannot think of one thing I like about Max Kellerman except for the fact that there will probably come a time in my life when I am still alive and he is not. I can't wait for that day.
#1 Lebron James (and his apologists)
I hate Lebron. Yes I know he's a fantastic basketball player, but he's also a fantastic ass hole. I'm trying to make shorter blogs so I won't go that deep into it but between the decision, the fake tough guy persona, always crying to the media, the hypocrisy of all his actions, reading the fucking Godfather as he walks into the Garden just so people will talk about him reading that, throwing teammates/coaches under the bus, his overall demeanor, thinking he's special just because he has kids, complaining that his teams aren't good enough, beating the Celtics, his antics, just everything about him. I understand and respect his game but he's just the fucking worse man. And I have a lot of friends who love him, and they're my guys I love them, but they and the millions of people who just put up with Lebron's shit and will never admit that he's kind of the worst are annoying AF.
I hate Lebron.
Artist: Hiatus Kaiyote
Album: Tawk Tomahawk