It's no secret that Ole Dozo has some strong political beliefs, but that's only because I'm some bleeding heart woke pussy that believes in radical things like the separation of church and state, not becoming a fascist nation, equality, saving the middle class, and our planet. But just because this story is politically based doesn't mean it should be divisive! (unless you've lost a loved one to drunk driving, then yeah, I totes get it being a touchy subject)
IMO it's pretty bipartisan. It doesn't matter if you think guns should have more rights than people or that it shouldn't be taboo to teach the TRUTH; you probably enjoy having a few cold ones with your pals after a long day. Left, right, or center, every demo drinks.
For the first time since 1985, there's a significant chance that Happy Hour returns to the Ocean State. The Rhode Island House of Representatives passed a bill 54-10 that would bring discounted drinks back as long as it's served with food. Rhode Island is currently one of only eight states that doesn't allow Happy Hour, along with Alaska, Indiana, Massachusetts, North Carolina, Oklahoma, Utah, and Vermont.
**watch this for more details---sup Amanda Pitts?**
I completed understand the concerns about drinking and driving, but it's not 1987. There's RIPTA, Uber, and Lyft; hell, maybe this will even help bring taxis back. As someone whose primary income comes from ride-share driving, this is great for the workers. It'll create more of a demand for rides during dull times, which means more drivers to give people rides home. Plus, for people in Newport, Providence, or any of the various Main Streets, they're well within walking distance of bars/restaurants. This might not be the most PC thing to say in today's climate, but two beers after work aren't the receipt for a DUI unless you weigh like 78 pounds. Besides, how about we play some defense against drunk driving? Maybe this could create even more jobs with a parking lot lookout to make sure drunks don't get behind the wheel. It's like a DUI checkpoint without all the "you're going to jail" drama. Instead, you order a ride.
I've worked in multiple restaurants in this beautiful state, and that tweener time between lunch and dinner becomes a dead zone. This legislation will only help local establishments and the people working there: more foot traffic and tips for bartenders/servers. I mean, outside of the concerns over drunk driving, this seems like a no-brainer and is a great way to help places still recovering from the after-effects of the pandemic.
The bill still needs approval from the State Senate to go into effect, but we're in the red zone instead of the shadow of our own goal line. While we're at it, bars should be open until 2 am. Don't drive drunk.
Song of the Day: April 28th, 2022
Song: C'mon Baby, Cry (2022) [Live on Kimmel]
Artist: Orville Peck
While this song technically was already a SOD on Valentine's Day, I love this performance too much not to include it on DOL. Orville's such a showman; the neon cacti, the embroidery, and a voice that'd knock pictures and clocks off the walls. I'm so glad I got to see him live in September. S/O Lax Coach Martin for his incredible rendition of this in the Cheapie Showtunes space last month. I said it on v-day and I'll say it again; if you're still sleeping on Orville, it's time to wake tf up!
The untimely death of Demaryius Thomas came as a shock last December. The former Broncos WR was just 33 years old when he passed away on December 9th from a seizure. It's an absolute tragedy and yet another example of how quickly it can all go away in the blink of an eye.
I have to give DT's former QB Peyton Manning some hashtag good guy praise for the Demaryius A. Thomas Scholarship Endowment at Georgia Tech that he and his wife Ashley's PeyBack Foundation established today.
There's no denying that the PeyBack Foundation is an excellent name for Peyton's charity, and in a way, I, too, am a hashtag good guy for not letting something as silly as professional sports team allegiances get in the way of giving some well-deserved praise. This is seriously awesome and #biggerthansports.
The scholarship fund will help assist with tuition and other education costs for incoming Georgia Tech freshmen from Thomas' hometown Laurens County and surrounding areas. To qualify, students must graduate high school with at least a 3.2 GPA and community-service involvement.
It's a beautiful gesture from the Mannings to ensure that Demaryius's legacy and impact will continue to help further generations of students from his hometown/county. The post also acknowledged that August 8th (8/8) will be Demaryius Thomas Day at Georgia Tech going forward.
R.I.P. Demaryius Thomas
How Sting wants all grown men in bands to feel:
The former frontman for The Police shared the controversial opinion with MOJO magazine. “I don’t think any grown man can be in a band actually,” he said.
“A band is a teenage gang. Who wants to be in a teenage gang when you’re knocking 70? It doesn’t allow you to evolve.
“You have to obey the rules and the gestalt of the band. As much as I love the Stones and AC/DC, it’s hard to see growth in their music.
“For me, the band was merely a vehicle for the songs and not the other way round.”
I saw this on IG yesterday and still don't know how to go about blogging it nearly a day later. There's the glaring: dude, you were in a band as a grown man angle that everybody and their mother is taking. Of course, you can zig while others zag and agree that AC/DC and The Rolling Stones are washed and should probably spend more time with their grandchildren/single-digit aged children, but I'm gonna send an S.O.S. to the world and go with the former on this post.
It shouldn't surprise anybody that Sting had this take. He broke up The Police at the height of their career to venture out as a solo artist. Maybe this guy just hates male camaraderie and isn't for the boys? Some dudes just don't like broing out with the fellas. We all have a friend in our circle (or former circle...I'm getting old) who isn't for the boys, and he stinks on ice. Talk about bringing a new meaning to "Don't Stand So Close To Me." Yeah, love your gf/wife and potential kids all you want, just don't turn your back on the squad.
Obviously, Sting comes off as a hypocrite here as he spent age 26-32 in a band, which in the late 70s and early 80s certainly constituted a grown man. Today, it's not as clear. I wasn't a real adult until like three years ago. Or is he trying to be philosophical and say that you're not truly a grown man if you're in a band?
Yes, I love Sting's music, but he's not really someone I can identify with. I'm not gonna get that worked up about him sounding like an out-of-touch douchebag for biting the hand that fed him. For one, he plays bass, which means he has rhythm, something I've never been able to achieve. Plus, he's probably more famous for being a tantric sex guy than a musician. He's had single sessions longer than all the cumulative vaginal intercourse I've had in my years. I can separate the art from the artist and know that while Roxanne is my go-to Karaoke song, that Sting and I probably wouldn't have much to talk about.
I just can't wrap my head around how bad of a take this is. Why is he trying to rob people's joy? You'd think as a musician; he'd understand that better than anybody? As long as you're still providing for your family and being-semi present, I say rock on. Like, imagine how much worse the world would be without the music of bands that feature adult men? Why is Sting rooting for this? Does he think he'd still be Sting and not Gordon the mail man without The Police? It's pretty fucking sexist if you ask me to eliminate an entire sex from the musical field and low key ageist too! (even though I low key fw it at times, #termlimits). I agree women don't exactly get a fair shake in this whole society thing, but this isn't the way to achieve equality. Does he think professional sports shouldn't exist either because you're playing a "kid's game?" Maybe Sting is a harder 70 than I thought and entering the "get off my lawn" or in his case, the "get out of my field" part of his life?
Laremy Tunsil is Turning His Gas Mask Video Into an NFT and Donating a Portion of the Proceeds to the Last Prisoner Project
Talk about a succinct headline
Tomorrow the 2022 NFL Draft commences, and as someone who watches virtually no college football, it's a night I enjoy but can't get too worked up about; I don't know who these dudes are anymore! I just hope the Patriots don't draft another Tavon Wilson, Jordan Richards, Ras-I Dowling, Derek Rivers, Dominique Easley, Dalton Keane, Devin Asiasi, Jake Bequette, Aaron Dobson, Cyrus Jones, N'Keal Harry or Duke Dawson.
Six years ago, a video of now Texans offensive lineman Laremy Tunsil ripping the fuuuuck out of a gas mask (a method to consume cannabis for lamez) got tons of people and NFL team execs worked up. So much so that he fell to the 13th pick in the 2016 NFL Draft!
Tunsil turned into a solid NFL tackle with two Pro Bowls (semi-meaningless praise) under his belt and was traded (with Kenny Stills) for two first-rounders. Still, to most people, he'll always be associated with the gas mask video (which IMO is better than the Confederate Flag behind him). But, Laremy is burning up that narrative to do a hashtag good guy thing!
In perhaps the most 2022 move of all time, Tunsil is turning the video into an NFT, with a PORTION of the proceeds going towards the Last Prisoner Project. That's a move I can fully support. It's fucking lunacy that people are still in jail for a bit of reefer when others make millions off legal weed in 18 states (36% of the union). I learned about Last Prisoner Project at a Dave Matthews Band concert last summer, and as an unabashed sweet cheeba supporter, I gladly signed their petition and took some stickers; one is currently on my cracked laptop case.
Now the amount of Tunsil's hashtag good guyness is still to be determined. How much of these proceeds are we talking? If it's under 50%, this story might end up a net negative for him. I don't give a fuck; I'll count the shit out of someone else's money. I know NFL contracts aren't nearly as big as they look when announced, but this guy signed a three-year 66 million dollar deal in 2020 with almost 58 million guaranteed. If he ends up donating like 10K, it's like me giving an unhoused guy a five-spot last Saturday; nobody needs to know.
What's this gonna sell for? A few hundred thousand? Just donate it all to people who genuinely need it so they don't rot their life away in a cell. Imagine being in jail for some 1970s dirt weed that wouldn't get anybody high today? *Silvio Voice* DISGUSTING.
Now obviously, it's a nice gesture to donate to this cause, but if this dude is giving like 15% of the profits to charity, I'm rescinding his hashtag good guy status. Think about the long game. Imagine if you got some of the 40,000 people in American jails for cannabis their freedom back? You get to be a hero and their champion (something that ain't happening as a Houston Texan). Maybe a weed company would want to endorse you? Plus, I'm willing to make you a First Ballot Hashtag Good Guy Hall of Famer if you donate all the proceeds. Just some munchies for thought.
I love this energy.
Song of the Day: April 27th, 2022
Song: Free (2022)
Artist: Florence + the Machine
Album: Dance Fever
Queen/King Florence went out and wrote an anxiety anthem. I love everything about this, especially that messy braid. I cannot wait to see/hear/absorb her for essence the second and a half (passed out at a 2019 FATM show after like four songs due to over-serving myself) time this fall! Florence + the Machine 2016 is still the best concert I've ever been to.
Oh, and Bill Nighy plays her anxiety; that might be a big deal to you! Hand up, I didn't know who this dude was until I read some Youtube comments. I further researched him (looked at his Filmography on Wikipedia), and I've literally seen nothing he's in. Myyyy bad!
I Still Can't Believe That Our Boston Celtics Have a Chance to Break Out the Brooms Tonight
Ya boi dusted off the ole photoshop for this one.
I'm not a pay super close attention to the NBA guy. I love basketball and watch most C's games, but as I get older, it's harder to get up (pause) for regular-season games of teams I don't care about, especially if I don't have any action on said game. As a narrative guy, I'm not as up-to-date on all the league storylines as I should be. I mean I know a decent amount, like that Ben Simmons is an attention seeking, mental little person with no heart, but TBH I'm a tad nervous about blogging the NBA outside of uniforms. My depth of knowledge pales in comparison to the NFL, but I also bleed green so let's go C's!!
I knew the Nets were banged tf up. I remember there was a stretch this season where they lost 10 in a row; I'll never forget seeing that "L10" in the STRK column in the standings, but ever since the Bubble Bracket, it feels like seeding has never meant less. The Nets still have Kevin Durant and Kyrie Irving. It doesn't matter what number you put before their team name; that's a scary duo. I was terrified of a potential Celtics-Nets first-round matchup.
The C's could've easily lost either game in Boston (s/o me for peppering their live ML twice in game 2), but as of now they hold a 3-0 series lead, something no NBA team has ever blown in a seven game series.
Now I'm not a jinx guy, the C's should take care of business at some point in the next four games, but the goal is obviously to end the series ASAP (#NBADOZ). If we get to a 6th game, then I'm officially worried. My b-hole will be tighter than Marcus Smart's box braids. Unfortunately for the Celtics, Scott "The Extender" Foster is reffing tonight, which means we're likely looking at a chance for the Gentlemen's Sweep on Wednesday.
The Extender could easily make all the C's elite defense go "bye-bye" tonight. This placement feels like a Ghost of David Stern move.
But regardless of who has a whistle in their mouth for Game 4, the Celtics have clearly been the better team in this series.
It's just crazy to me that they're in this position. Like I said mere moments ago, I was terrified of the Nets. I thought they had a legitimate chance to knock out the C's, which would've been a real shame after their transformation from a 23-24 disappointment to 51-31 title contender. Now they're a win away from the Eastern Conference Semi-Finals, which in itself is crazy when you remember where this team was before February.
Sure, if there was ever a team that could come back from a 3-0 series deficit it's one with Kyrie and KD, but as long as Steve Nash is their coach, I think history is safe. Hopefully the Jays and company can close things out tonight, but a Gentlemen's Sweep at home wouldn't be the worst thing.
Let's enjoy the ride, but through 144 minutes of playoff basketball I'm ready to say Banner 18 is a legit possibility. It's not gonna get any easier, but my inner narrative guy knows this was a championship blu-ray moment!
Song of the Day: April 25th, 2022
Song: Down And Out Downtown (2021)
Artist: St. Vincent
Album: Daddy's Home
I'm a solid year late with this record, but that's quite on-brand for the Doz man. I do love what I've heard so far; this song is hands down my favorite. The visualizer for Apple Music/this youtube "video" is siiiick. Very triiiipppy (and sexy!). Sup, Annie?
Despite my hatred of this ownership group for trading Mookie Betts for pennies on the dollar and countless scumbag moves over the years, I sort of miss baseball and want to give the game another chance. I've got too much history with the Sox to throw it all away, and I don't want my baseball trivia knowledge to suffer because I don't know current players!
Unfortunately, I don't have conventional cable, so I'm SOL when it comes to watching the Red Sox. NESN hasn't been on YoutubeTV in over two years, and despite a free MLBtv sub, thanks to my T-Mobile membership, I can't watch due to idiotic blackout rules.
I didn't even really know about the Jerry Remy celebration at Fenway last night until after the fact. I might have seen something on Twitter beforehand, but I was focused on the Celtics playoff game while being an engaging guest at my g-ma's.
If you missed the ceremony, which you likely did because NESN sucks, it's on Youtube. You'll notice a glaring omission.
Instead of giving you more to read in this blog, watch this video that explains what happened, or in this case, didn't happen, at the Remy celebration.
Don Orsillo was infamously fired from NESN late in the 2015 campaign but finished out the season, calling David Ortiz's 500th home run in Tampa.
Since 2016 he's worked as a broadcaster for the San Diego Padres. Due to his schedule, he wasn't able to make the ceremony.
It's been nearly seven years since Orsillo's untimely dismissal, and there's still not much information about why. Many think it had to do with Dave O'Brien (overrated!!!), but there's no denying the Red Sox fucked up. Don Orsillo and Jerry Remy were widely considered one of, if not the best, broadcast teams in baseball. They worked together for 15 years at the peak of the Red Sox success. Obviously, they didn't play in the fucking games, but they played a significant role in the popularity of the Boston Red Sox in the 2000s and 2010s.
Because the Red Sox and NESN love to make terrible decisions, they decided that the man who spent 15 years on Jerry Remy's side wasn't worth including in the ceremony, but thank the fucking Heavens that Gary Striewski was.
Orsillo tweeted this last night to explain his absence:
Some are saying that if Orsillo wanted to be a part of the night, he should've shown up. In a way, I agree with that. In a perfect world, he should be able to miss a Padres-Reds game in April to make it in-person, but who knows if he was ever technically invited? Red Sox President Sam Kennedy claims he was the first person they asked, but from the way Don put it, it appears he was offered to record a video for the ceremony, then the Red Sox/NESN said "nevermind," and just omitted him completely? It is sort of weird he didn't tweet the video. My potential future co-worker Kirk Minihane thinks Orsillo might've never made one. Apparently the Sox said "we're good" before Don submitted one?
And before I go any further, yes, this night was to honor JERRY REMY, and I'm well aware that Don Orsillo is not Jerry Remy, but the two were more or less married to one another. It's hard to think of one without thinking about the other. Of course, it was Jerry's night, but not including Don's message in the ceremonies creates this shit storm and controversy. Nobody would be saying anything today if his clip was part of the festivities.
Maybe the Padres are scummy too and wouldn't let Don go? Maybe it's too hard for him to go back to Fenway after how everything ended (even though he's called games for TBS there)? I don't care what the reason is, the Red Sox/NESN royally fucked up by not including Don Orsillo, and it's really not much more complicated than that (unless he's the one lying).
Of course, the Red Sox state media isn't gonna call them out. Instead, they'll defend the inexcusable omission and plead ignorance.
And you know no soul Sam Kennedy said word salad when asked about this situation.
If you think Orsillo should've been there in person, I get your argument and basically agree. He should've been there. In the grand scheme of things, this was like a baseball funeral, and it's much more important than one April Padres-Reds game, but he had a conflict. Maybe he couldn't get out of it? Regardless, most of the blame has to go to the Red Sox and NESN. This was such a lay-up and they managed to bang it off the backboard. Their excuse of this being a fully on-field celebration is bull shit. You could've easily put Don's like 90-second video up on the many scoreboards at Fenway Park. Just add this to the pile of reasons the Red Sox ownership and NESN stink out loud.R.I.P. Jerry Remy
OFFICIAL #DOZVSTHEDOZEN RULES
It's been a hectic 24 hours in the Barstool-DOL Trivia world. Yesterday, I made the difficult decision to bow out of the competition due to a family obligation. Then, in classic old-school Barstool fashion, technical difficulties forced a delay of the Windy City Clash Semifinals. I was focused on the C's game (peppered their live ML at +150 & +270 NBD) and being a good guest at my grandma's, so I missed everything IRT, but apparently, there was an issue uploading the matches. Initially, there was a half-hour delay to 7:30, then an additional 15.5-hour delay to 11 am this morning.
I made the executive decision to go ahead and compete in both semifinal matches without a formal preview blog. It's a built excuse for low numbers (due to people working, NOT a lack of interest in #DVTD)!
Shit happens; there was a quick turnaround from the live shows and scheduled release. We all know how much production goes into these matches, and sometimes technology lets you down (which is why I'm terrified of driverless cars). I can't imagine how stressful that ordeal was for the Dozen team, I feel for them, but from a Dozo standpoint, I was happy I'd get to compete (even if that meant waking up before noon). But as a hashtag good guy, I would rather things gone smoothly. It's not all about me! #HireDozo
If you missed either match, I've got you. Admittedly, they're a little underwhelming compared to regular matches because I was in awe of the live show/half asleep.
Live competitions are a tad different where the match ends once someone officially wins. They play all 12 rounds on the zoom version, which gives me a much better chance to win. Things were neck and neck in semifinal number 1/#DVTD 56, then the wheels fell off after the bonus round, and if I got to play a full match in the second leg, I think I could've pulled it off. Live competitions are where the 2 point disadvantage really comes back to haunt me.
Regardless, we have to put those matches in the rearview and prepare for tonight's Windy City Clash Finals match. Despite an 0-2 showing in the semis, I have qualified to compete. Between this being match 58 (Doz in number form) of #DozVsTheDozen and my 1-0-1 record in live tourney finals in 2022, I love our chances.
The Windy City Clash Finals will determine the regular-season champ. Frank and the Frankettes vs The Yak. There's no graphic yet, maybe to avoid spoiling the semis since they took place in the middle of the work day? I'll give the Frankettes the slight favorite at -1.5.
#DozVsTheDozen 58: Windy City Clash Finals airs live at one place and one place only, my instagram @dozonlife. That's www.instagram.com/dozonlife. I've won the late match on Thursday doubleheaders the past two weeks, tonight it'll have to be the late match of a TRIPLEHEADER. I can't wait to see ya in the comments.