I wanted to get this out right when it happened last night, but wifi was down all day yesterday thanks to the storm. Mother Nature can be a shitty parent, how am I supposed to chase a dream with no wifi?!? Now that it's back I can give my take to the tens of loyal DOL readers. About 15 hours have passed since the trade went down I still am kind of scratching my head.

Not because the Patriots traded him, but because all they got was a 2nd round pick. 

I mean on the surface you'll end up getting a little more in return than what you gave up to draft Garoppolo (best part of about this trade is that I won't have to worry about learning how to spell Garoppolo correctly anymore) he was the 62nd pick in the draft, and I'd be absolutely shocking for this pick to end up higher than 40th since the 49ers are already 0-8. So your investment in Jimmy G is basically moving up 20 spots in the draft 4 years later, which you know makes it move for Belichick. 

But given what you've seen out of Jimmy G,  (granted it was a v small same size) the dude can ball.  He upset the Cardinals on the road, Pats were a 9 point underdog in that game and he threw for 3 touchdowns in basically a quarter and a half before getting injured against the Dolphins.

​I'm not going to lie, I may have gotten a little overzealous during that first half. 

For about 45 minutes I was wondering if Brady was about to lose his job to Garappolo during the deflategate suspension. Obviously that didn't happen and we all know what happened next. 

By trading Garoppolo you not only does the team get much lesson handsome collectively, but you also got worse for 2017. That's what really bothers me about the deal. They didn't get any sort of piece that can help them this season. Yeah a 2nd round pick for a QB you were gonna probably lose in free agency is pretty cool, and allows them to hypothetically use their franchise tag on Malcolm Butler, but it doesn't do anything for the 2017 Patriots who have been kind of decimated by injury. They've lost their #1 pass-catching up option in Julian Edelman, and heart of their defense in Dont'a Hightower for the season. I know the 49ers suck but they didn't have a single player on their defense that could maybe help? I know Brady has played incredibly this year, but he is 40 years old playing with a team decimated by injuries, and you know Gronk is going to get hurt at some point. I just wish they did something that helped this Patriots team. 

This trade also means the Patriots now need a back-up QB. While I wish they'd kick the wheels on Tebow or Kaepernick, it appears all but certain they'll bring back Brian Hoyer, who was on the 49ers and waived once they traded for Jimmy G. 

Song: Thriller
Artist: Michael Jackson
​Album: Thriller

The already struggling Patriots defense has lost one of its top players.

Linebacker Dont'a Hightower is out for the season with a torn pectoral, Ian Rapoport of NFL Network reports. Hightower suffered the injury tackling Falcons running back Devonta Freeman on Sunday night.

The Patriots kept Hightower with a four-year, $35.5 million contract this offseason. Hightower didn’t receive as many big-money offers as he was hoping for, in part because teams were concerned about his injury history.

The injury is a blow to the Patriots’ defense, as Hightower is one of their top players when healthy. Although the Patriots’ defense played well against the Falcons, for most of this season it has been one of the worst defenses in the NFL.

via: profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2017/10/26/patriots-lose-donta-hightower-for-season-to-torn-pectoral/

Not ideal!

Things for have gone from bad

To worse.

Going into the season if you made a list of the top five most important players for the 2017 Patriots I think most people would agree it'd be some combination of Brady, Edelman, Gronk, Hightower and McCourty. Maybe you could throw Butler or an offensive linemen in the mix.

Now, two of those guys are out for 2017, as Edelman tore his ACL in the preseason.

No way to sugar coat it, this sucks. 

After looking worse than Lena Dunham in lingerie through six game, the Pats D finally started to look like a competent NFL defense last Sunday.  So of course they lose one of their most important players. Just absolutely brutal. Hightower is not only one of the few play makers this defense has (remember)

but he is also a captain and one of the vocal leaders both on and off the field. 

It just sucks, as a fan he's one of my favorite players on the team. The dude is exactly what you want in a Patriot.

The one, and pretty much only downside to Hightower as a player is his injury proneness. It's no secret Hightower has had his injury problems. He's only played a full 16 games once in his six year career, it's probably why he didn't get a monster deal this off season. Torn pectoral is just brutal.

While it is only week 8 of the NFL season so you don't want to say this totally ends the Patriots chances at a repeat, it does make things a lot more difficult. I don't know if last week's improvement defensively was an anomaly, or a sign of improvements to come but subtracting Hightower kind of throws any sort of improvement you saw out the window. 

​It was 20-0 deep into the 3rd quarter when Dont'a got hurt, it's not like he went down early, and then they basically shutout the NFC champs.

Idk where the Patriots go from here. They're gonna need to find away to add someone, because this island of misfit toys defense has shown (except for last week) that they can't stop a nose bleed. The trade deadline is quickly approaching, gotta just hope Bill can snatch up some former early draft pick that a team has given up on and turn him into a superstar.  Luckily this week the Patriots face the Chargers who they've historically owned throughout the Brady-Belichick era. 

P.S. 

Now both players who made arguably the two biggest plays for the Patriots in Super Bowl LI (Edelman, and Hightower) are out for the season. Kind of a weird coincidence. 

Song: The Gold
Artist: Manchester Orchestra
Album: A Black Mile To The Surface

Via: munchies.vice.com/en_uk/article/pa3b37/woman-reportedly-receives-death-threats-after-entering-vegan-meatballs-into-meatball-competition?utm_source=munchiestwitterus

I'm just gonna come out and say it.

I'm 100% okay with this lady receiving death threats.

Now even though I am fundamentally anti-vegans, had she actually been killed I would agree that would be a little bit much. Nobody needs to die over a meatball contest. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't shed a tear, but I wouldn't be celebrating or anything either. Even vegans, despite how misguided they are on enjoying the finer things in life deserve life. 

But that doesn't change that I'm 100% okay with the threat of death. Mainly just for her stupidity for thinking this wouldn't cause a fuss. Social-Darwinism people! Whether people want to accept it or not, you need to understand that your surroundings impact how your actions are perceived. I lived in the south for 7 weeks, so I know a thing or two about being well versed in different areas, guys. Sure if you're in Portland, or Seattle and bring vegan-meatballs to a meatball competition they'll probably throw you a parade and give you a key to the city.  But in Philly, yeah, they'll probably want to kill you. I don't understand how this is so tough to understand. You need to be aware of your surroundings. If you leave your car unlocked in the city, don't be surprised when your stereo is gone. 

You need to realize who you're dealing with. What do you expect when you bring vegan-meatballs to a meatball contest in SOUTH PHILLY? Not to go after low hanging fruit (here I go!) but we all know Philly fans are kind of  the worst. They infamously threw snowballs at Santa, cheered when Michael Irvin had a career ending injury, and throw up on 11 year old girls. We know how seriously they take their sports. You don't think the overly Italian people in South Philly in a fucking meatball contest aren't going to take it a little too seriously?  You don't think Antonio cares about his great-great-great grandmother's secret meatball and gravy recipe a little too much?  Come on, use an ounce of brain power one time for me.

Also I'm just gonna say it, you shouldn't be allowed to bring vegan-meatballs at a meatball competition. There's no fucking meat in them.  It's a MEATball contest. Not a chickpea contest. There's literally two requirements, that there's meat and it's shaped like a ball. This was not a meatball, it's a mound of healthy garbage, no wonder why people are upset.  My mom told me eggplant parm was chicken parm once when I was like 8 and I still haven't forgiven her.  I get it in today's PC no label society we want to blur lines of basically everything, lets let girls join the boy scouts.  I mean honestly I don't really give a shit about that, if you wanna do it go for it, but we do need some sort of line in the sand. Meatball competitions should be reserved for strictly meats. If we as Americans can't agree on that, then we'll never agree on anything. 

All things considered 2016 was a pretty tough year for Tom Brady, in January he and the Patriots lost the AFC Championship game 20-18 to the Denver Broncos which ended their attempts at a Super Bowl repeat. In April his four game suspension for Deflategate was upheld, after filing an appeal to the Second Circuit U.S. Court of Appeals in May, his appeal was denied in June, and in July Tom finally accepted his suspension.  

What we didn't know during that same time frame his mother, Galynn Brady had been battling breast cancer. A cancer battle obviously pales in comparison to the legal shit storm TB12 had been a part of for over 500 days. It wasn't until a few weeks before the Super Bowl that the public knew the weight of something much more important than football he had been carrying throughout the last year plus. Many suspect that is why he eventually stopped fighting and accepted the suspension.

We all know cancer suuuucks. If you polled 100 people, I bet you at least 95 of them are anti-cancer. Sadly, it impacts basically everybody on earth. Either you'll get it, or somebody you love will. I think we can all agree that cancer needs to chill tf out and realize that nobody wants it around anymore. Like nobody invited you to the party, cancer yet you keep showing up, it's pretty fucking rude. Imagine if you kept showing up to parties you weren't invited to, eventually you'd get your ass kicked over it. It's about time someone kicks cancers ass for good if you ask me. 

As we all know the Brady's tend to keep things pretty close to the vest, so this video is pretty cool (not the cancer part) in the sense that it peals back the certain and tells his mom's story about how tough her year was, really puts everything Tommy went through in perspective. Videos like this are important because they humanize athletes/celebrities. I know a ton of people will hate Tom Brady because of how perfect he is, how he has more Super Bowl rings than he knows what to do with, but he's a person just like you or me. A person who had to deal with the reality that he could lose his mother to cancer. Doesn't matter how much fame or status you have, it can happen to anybody.
 ​

It's awesome to see that Galynn is doing much better now.  Absolutely love how Tommy was saying she'd be ready for the Super Bowl. He was right. Incredibly classy move by Mr. Kraft to give Galynn a ring after a very tough year for her. 

​P.S. 

Maybe not the best place to make a joke but I mean this is a comedy blog. 

Song: Come On, Illinois (live)
Artist: Houndmouth
Album: From the Hills Below the City

Look I get it, the Atlanta Falcons have a solid core. Plus let's not forget how close they were to winning a Super Bowl last season. 

They have the reigning league MVP in Matt Ryan, one of the best WR in all of football in Julio Jones, a solid RB tandem in Devonta Freeman and Tevin Coleman. There defense has some young bright players as well. 



​None of that matters, they need to clean house and start over.

I'm talking full on fire sale. 

You were facing the Patriots last night. You know, the team who ripped out your heart in Super Bowl LI. This team made you a laughingstock on the internet for the last 9 months. That's a long time to be the butt of a joke, that's how long it takes to make a human life. The Super Bowl babies conceived from your misfortunes are already alive. You couldn't go anywhere on twitter without seeing a 28-3 joke for months. They took the Super Bowl ring right off your finger, and when you got a chance less than a year later to get a little revenge you basically get shut out by one of the worst defenses in the NFL. I've seen enough, it's time for the Falcons to blow it up and start over.

Through six games the Pats have had one of the worst pass defenses in the NFL history. No team had ever had it's first 6 opponents all pass for 300+ yards, but the Patriots did. Not only did they get torched week, after week. But they were getting torched by sub-par quarterbacks. Alex Smith looked like 2004 Peyton Manning against this team. Josh McCown looked like he actually belonged in the NFL. They made Cam Newton who's completion percentage was under 53% last year look like Joe Montana. This was the perfect chance to put up the "40 something on they ass" that Mohemad Sanu was talking about during the Super Bowl. 

They were depleted with injuries, couldn't stop a nose bleed. You're playing the Patriots on national tv and this is what you come up with?

Embarrassing.

​Not to beat a dead horse but you can never shake off that whole 28-3 thing unless you win a Super Bowl. Warriors blew a 3-1 lead to the Cavs but they were defending NBA champs which made that pill a little easier to swallow, then they went out an added Kevin Durant and won the Finals the following season. The Yankees blew a 3-0 lead in the ALCS to the Red Sox in 2004, but I mean the Yankees were still The Yankees at that point. They had just won four World Series since 1996.

​You're the Atlanta Falcons, and let's face it. Things are never going to get any better than they did last year. Let's take a long look in the mirror, Falcons. If you can't win a Super Bowl when you're up 25 points with 17 minutes to play, you're never going to win a Super Bowl. 

The way I see it from the coaching staff to the water boy everybody who is still part of this team that was there last season needs to go. You don't want to have any ties to that choke job. It's like a bad breakup, the best thing to do is cut off all ties. You need to delete his/her cell phone number, block all the social media, you can't move on when you still can see every move they make.

Matt Ryan is 32 years old, not over the hill by any means, but realistically he has what.. 5 more years left? You don't think you can get some desperate team to give you a 1st and a couple mid round picks for him? If he's never going to win a Super Bowl wouldn't you rather have him never win a Super Bowl somewhere else? Julio Jones is an elite WR who could easily get you multiple 1st round picks. I'm sure tons of teams would love an Alex Mack on their offensive line. I'm just saying you have assets to ship off. 

That's what beautiful about the NFL you can rebuild on the go.

You started this season off 3-0 and gave people the impression that maybe you could put 28-3 behind you and come out for blood this year. Instead you drop three straight games, including two at home to the Bills and Dolphins. And in the Dolphins game you were winning 17-0. Jay Culter who retired during the off-season beat you. That alone is enough to consider a fire-sale. 

Insanity is doing the same thing expecting different results and when are you going to realize that ​with this core, it's just not going to happen, why not just accept it, ship off your pieces and start over? 

P.S. Maybe a fire sale isn't enough. After a pitiful tweet like this maybe the NFL should just contract the Falcons? 

Steve Spurrier is not only an all time college football coach, but more importantly he's an all time college football personality. Plenty of guys have won National Championships and are forgotten, but Steve Spurrier will live on forever.

I don't care who you root for, you gotta be able to at the very least tip your visor to the Head Ball Coach's sense of humor and trash talking ability.  The man once called FSU "Free Shoes University". ​ 

​As for this exchange Spurrier had with a former sports editor at the Duke Chronicle somewhere between 1987 and 1989 it's just perfect.  Peak Spurrier and also peak Duke. 

I love the mindset from the HBC. He doesn't care that you just met, are underage, and it's so early that The Price is Right hasn't even aired yet. It's still time to crack a cold one. That's exactly what you need in a college football coach. 

Also how about this dweeb saying he's 19? The rare suicide-narcing. I mean I guess that doesn't come as a surprise from a 19 year old "journalist" at Duke.  He probably had never drank before this moment. Too worried about being successful and making it, what a loser.

Now from this story we don't know if they ever did share a beer together but all I know is if Steve Spurrier offers you a beer, you take the beer. It's that simple. I don't care what time of day it is, or how old you are there some people you can't refuse a beer from and the Head Ball Coach is one of them. This would never in a million years happen at Florida or South Carolina. Comes as no surprise that this Dukie was too big of a nerd to accept such a gracious offer.

The only thing I'll say in the defense of this loser who may or may not have turned down free beer at 10 am from a former Heisman winner is that Steve Spurrier was not the Hall of Fame level coach he was now so maybe there was a little less of that aura about him. But I mean he's still a former NFL QB and SEC legend just being the man at 10 am trying to have a good time. Sorry for partying. 

Song: Oblivious
Artist: Miniature Tigers
Album: Cruel Runnings