​It's important to remember that just because you can do something doesn't mean you should. There's nothing stopping you from saving $10-$200 a month by halting your usage of toilet paper. Ladies, I get that you want to rebel against the patriarchy, but ironically, shaved heads are a go-to look of the oppressed. Nobody looks good with a shaved head. Knock it off! I love freedom, but just because you're free to do something doesn't mean it's a good idea.

As the league approaches Week 16, the NFL's third season under the looser uniform number rules is nearly over (In 2023, #0 became eligible for all positions except linemen). Don't get it twisted; I'm not a full-Brady and think this additional variety is ruining the game. I'm all for freedom of expression and love anything number-related that isn't math. It's great that more single digits are in the mix, but some numbers are just flat-out ugly, and that ugliness is amplified when worn by a player where the vibe just doesn't fit. Over time, change gets easier to accept, but for now...these uniform numbers just look fucked up on the football field. Without further ado, I present my choice for the NFL's Top 5 Most Egregious Jersey Numbers.

Honorable Mention: New England Patriots OT Conor McDermott

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Unlike the rest of this list, this number is traditionally worn by offensive linemen and looks fine. It's just incredibly fucked up that the Patriots issued #75, ESPECIALLY to a journeyman offensive lineman. I know the Pats haven't officially retired a number since Bruce Armstrong, but Vince Wilfork is one of the best players ever to wear the Flying Elvis. At least Revis wore Ty Law's 24, and Hightower wore Bruschi's 54. Poor Vince is stuck with this bum.

Don't even get me started about the Pats issuing 87, but in a weird way, it's easier to handle in the fugly post-Brady unis.

5. Chad Ryland #37. Kicker. New England Patriots

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While researching for this blog, I was shocked to see how few kickers and punters took advantage of their newfound flexibility. Only 4 K/P wear a number above 19. I love that Randy Bullock rocks 46. It fits that goofy bastard, but how are you gonna let a fucking kicker wear Rodney Harrison's number???? And he's not even good! If this guy had a little swag, it'd be like, "Okay, I see you in the ridiculous number," instead, it's on this waste of a 4th rounder. When I think about 37, it's a powerful number. I think of hard-hitting safeties, Shaun Alexander, and fullbacks who crave contact, not kickers who can't hit from 47.

4. Skyy Moore #24. Wide Receiver. Kansas City Chiefs

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No this wasn't a pick-6. It was a walk-in touchdown for a,,, **checks notes** wide receiver?? I hate to sound like such a Republican, but 24 is for corners and corners ONLY!

3. Jamal Agnew #39. Wide Receiver. Jacksonville Jaguars.

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This one actually makes me the most irrationally upset. 39 is an ugly ass number and does not belong on a WR. Apparently, it's from when he was a corner? I didn't realize Agnew's been in the league since 2017. Damnit...I did research, and it flipped my whole opinion (if only more did that). Now I kind of think it's swag that he wears 39 after changing positions, but fuck it, we're too deep into this blog. That exact reasoning is why I didn't include Cordarrelle Patterson lolol. At least I'm writing today.

2. Jadeveon Clowney #24. Outside Linebacker. Baltimore Ravens.

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If Clowney wanted to wear 7 like his days as a 'cock I'd be all for it, but brother you're an OLB/DE, why you tryna look like a corner? It's like a 70 year old guy with jet black hair. You're not fooling anyone. We know it's not natural. 24 is for CORNERS ONLY.

1. Darren Waller #12. Tight End. New York Giants

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It'd be one thing if his last name was "Fuck," but no number in football is more linked to a single position than 12 is to quarterback. Of course I'm a tad biased with Brady, but there's Roger Staubach, Terry Bradshaw, Aaron Rodgers, and Andrew Luck to name a few. So many great QBs have donned the dozen on their back. IMO, if you don't have a QB wearing 12 on the roster, nobody's wearing 12. Marques Colston always looked off. The Cardinals current punter should be ashamed of himself.​

P.S.

We all know what number looks great on niche bloggers/key-returners/key-losses in the local paper.

I haven't bought a single Christmas present yet and tbh I am not in the holiday spirit on account of the world at large and my broken spirit lol. But that doesn't stop "Christmas Wrapping" from being a holiday season banger. Ya boi loves that sax and frantic song structure!

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Everyone reacts differently to celebrity deaths. Some may think feeling genuine loss for someone you've never met is strange, but this one hit me like a ton of bricks. It's a crushing loss.

Last night, I slept at my sister's house since my mom's in town and found out this horrible news as I opened up Instagram on the downstairs toilet and saw Terry Crews' post around 9:30 pm. 

My immediate reactions and a later tribute to one of Andre Braugher's best scenes as Captain Raymond Holt.

There are a lot of blind spots in my deep wealth of pop culture knowledge, but I didn't know who Andre Braugher was until I started watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine this summer. Now, only a few months later, I'm devastated by his death. It's so fucking sad. I can't believe he's gone. What an incredible talent and an even better person from everything I had read and watched. He was only 61 years old and leaves behind a wife and four children. **Insert obligatory line about deaths around my parent's ages hitting harder** 

Although I was super late to the party, I more than made up for it with the amount of Brooklyn Nine-Nine I watched this summer. It became a comfort show for me. As soon as I finished it, I started it over. Nearly every night, I fall asleep to a YouTube playlist, and the "NINE-NINE" one I curated is a go-to. I cannot recommend Brooklyn Nine-Nine enough if you haven't seen it.

Captain Holt truly is one of my favorite characters from any show I've ever watched. He's my Peacock Avi. The man is an (gay) icon. You can't help but love him (and the entire cast, but Holt was the best. Sorry, Andy, but it was his show).

Holt's growth from a hard-ass robot to everybody's dad was beautiful and important. He's a borderline perfect human animal. His inflections were immaculate. The humor was so absurd and niche and had no business being so funny. He could bring a grown man to his knees in laughter. There are too many hysterical lines to count. I won't regurgitate Wikipedia, but Braugher was much more than Captain Raymond Holt. His career spanned five decades in TV, movies, and theater. In 1998, he won an Emmy for his role in Homicide: Life on the Street. Without Wiki, I knew he was classically trained, which is probably why Holt hits you on many different levels. I will have to dive deeper into his filmography, but I am heartbroken by this news. My thoughts and prayers are with his family and loved ones.

Rest in Peace, â€‹Andre Braugher. Goodbye, Captain Holt, time to terrorize Wuntch in Heaven.

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"Every time someone stands up and says who they are, the world becomes a better, more interesting place" -Captain Raymond Holt

Ya boi's bringing back a tradition that I've been slipping on. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SONG OF THE DAY (NIGHT EDITION) JAKE!!!! 

Yes, loyal DOL readers, you can best believe I would've never picked this song because I don't know who Tory Lanez is, but I can't front. I fuck with it, HEAVY. Holy shit, this song high key slaps. Major MJ/BBD vibes...upon scrolling further down on the YouTube description whilst looking for the album name...this is from an 80s-themed album..I love it!!!

P.S.

Upon even further research...I didn't realize this is the dude that shot Megan Thee Stallion. I can't condone that, but just like MJ before him...gotta separate the art from the artist (except with R. Kelly & Chris Brown because you're allowed to pick and choose when it applies). My bad for being an alt-rock boi and not knowing what's up with the household names (outside of following the hot ones...like I don't know a single Bebe Rexha song, but I like errrrypost).

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This L comes nowhere near the pain of playoff series loss, but yeah, it would've been nice to win this tourney that I initially thought was a stupid idea. Now that I understand how the IST works, I like it. They may need to tweak a few things but so far, so good.

I gotta give it to Adam Silver. There's a reason he's the best commish in the Big Four, and it's not just by default because the other three stink at being humans. This tournament is unlike anything else in American professional sports and has been a resounding success. It got people more invested in early-season basketball, which was the ultimate goal.

Going into this game, I thought the Celtics would win, but I did have a weird feeling that since we beat Indy by fuckin' 51 last time something weird could happen. Ever since the 2010 Jets beat the Pats in the Divisional Round after losing on MNF 45-3 like a month and a half earlier, I've always had that in the back of my mind in situations like this when teams meet again after a blowout. Any self-respecting Celtics/Boston sports fan knows about the '85 C's and the Boston Massacre. The Celtics beat the Lakers by 34 in Game 1 of the Finals, lost Game 2 at home, and ultimately the series in 6. The Yankees won Game 3 of the 2004 ALCS 19-8 before losing three straight. I know it's easy to get caught up in blowouts, but how many examples do you need to realize that (in the vast majority of the time) you can't put too much in a prior blowout in a playoff setting?

Of course, this spicy regular season game only counts as one loss in the standings, and on December 4th, it's only the C's 5th of the year. We'll be fine.

The Haliburton 4-point play changed everything, and you gotta tip your cap to him; not a bad time for your first career triple-double (which was low-key shocking) either.

There might not be a person on this planet who cared more about this game than Aaron Nesmith. He's gonna talk about this block for the rest of his life. ​

It's understandable why he'd wanna show the C's they made a mistake trading him, but let's not act like it wasn't a smart move for the Celtics.​

Not to be that stereotypical Boston douchebag, but it is a literal fact the 17x time NBA champion Boston Celtics only put up NBA championship banners. You can't tell that we lost in 6 to the Warriors or that Perk tore his ACL in 2010 by looking at the rafters. This is just some Euro soccer midseason; money is the motive tourney. Now we can play the "Who fucking cares?" card. Do you think Red Auerbach would give a FUCK about the IST? Winning the inaugural one would've been cool, but I'll take losing in this knockout round over the one in spring. If the Bucks win the IST and lose in the first round again, they're gonna get memed to death.

Indy got UP for this game. They're a good team with a great fanbase, this type of gimmick is perfect for them. I'm not making excuses, but we didn't have KP and shot 29.3% from deep (not ideal!).

Even though we could've easily won this game (there were legit 14 lead changes), we didn't play well enough to seal the deal. The Pacers turned it on late and had the Fieldhouse rockin'. The Jays were efficient; Jayson scored 32, and Jaylen had 30, but the C's -14 3rd quarter was Olivia Rodrigo-level brutal. That is the one legit area of concern for this team, but Scal made a good point (I know..wild, right?.) in the post-game---most of the time, the Cs come out of the break with a big lead, and it's human nature to let up. I hate that that's the case, and I'm sure Joe doesn't like it either, but it's still fucking December, man. Plus, until the playoffs start, my #1 concern is stopping fascism. Bleed Green.

P.S.

I'm not letting the loss take away from Jayson's incredible November. We've got bigger fish to fry than the NBA Cup!

I've recently started dipping my toes into Fagen (and Becker)'s solo stuff. My man is an elite storyteller.