Dusting off the ole photoshop...a skill that I did not master in 2021 :(
Traditionally on DOL, I've released my top X songs of the year, but last year I switched things up due to Covid and did my "top 20 songs of the year that didn't come out in 2020" since I wasn't exactly feeling a reflection on what had been the worst year of my life!
Luckily, Covid is hot as ever, and things are only getting worse, but at least concerts are back for now (I went to at least six shows this year). Ya boi actually enjoyed some new music in 2021, so we're going back to how things used to be with some minor tweaks...fuck it, I'll rank these songs 1-21! With how much older music (that was semi-new to me) I consumed this year, I might keep that 2020 tradition going as well, but this blog is all about music released in 2021. Dozonlife is a niche publication with tens of semi-loyal readers. I haven't wavered to become more appealing to the masses; I write about what I want to write about and sure as shit listen to what I wanna hear. That doesn't mean I'm not entirely immune to getting hooked to that mainstream stuff (I fuck with Olivia Rodrigo HARD), but I basically listen to podcasts and, let's call it, 15 artists. My rotation is tougher to crack than the U.S. Capitol. I'm sure some music came out this year that I'll discover in like 2024 and be like, "where the fuck was I when this came out?" but this list is unlike any other top songs of the year list you'll find because it's based on my data, ears, and brain. Admittedly, I barely consumed new music this year, so you'll see a few artists with two or three songs; Only 24 of my top 100 plays on Apple Music came out in 2021, and only two tracks from my list were on the Rolling Stone Top 50 Songs of 2021.
Enough with the caveats; let's dive into the tunes. Here are the DOL Top 21 Songs of 2021.
Honorable Mention: "Rick n Morty" Soulja Boy (Draco) ft. Rich The Kid
Back in August, at my fantasy football draft, some of the dudes were blaring this song, and surprisingly, I didn't hate it, mainly because of nostalgia for Soulja Boy in 2007 and being a sophomore in high school again. "Crank Dat" was a TikTok dance while Youtube was still in diapers. God damnit, I'm washed.
As for "Rick n Morty" it's in the "it's so bad it's good" category and gives me Ren Stevens "We Went to the Moon in 1969" vibes since it has no detail about the show itself, just the title; which is appreciated as someone who's never seen the show #nospoilers. Since "Rick n Morty" reminds me of one of the few times I got to bro out with my friends/DOL non-believers this year and brings up decent memories, it earns an honorable mention spot on the list.
Honorable Mention: "Enter Sandman" Mac DeMarco
Originally Mac's Blacklist cover made the legit cut, but I fucked up my math (it's not my swag). Since it's a cross-genre cover by my favorite solo artist, I'll put Mac in the honorable mentions to give some fresher faces a chance to shine (even though it sort of ruins my graphic). I think that's a hashtag good guy move?
Honorable Mention: "brutal" Olivia Rodrigo
Complete oversight by me. This song is 1000% worthy of a spot on the official list, but when I realized I omitted a song I reference once a week because my brain is gold-plated mush; all that remained was a spot on the honorable mentions. Brutal! ..and I too can't even parallel park.
#21. "m y. l i f e" J. Cole (feat. 21 Savage & Morray)
I don't listen to much rap nowadays, but I'll always give J. Cole and 21 Savage's shit a chance. I saw J. Cole live at Lupos a fucking decade ago (gross), and 21 Savage geeks me out with his wordplay. I definitely didn't add this last because I fucked up the math again. No chance.
#20. "Diamond Studded Shoes" Yola
I bought tickets to Newport Jazz Fest solely to see Khraungbin and couldn't have given less of a fuck about who else was performing. In my eyes, 90 bucks was a fair price to see them, and everything else was just a bonus. Then the night before the show, I finally checked out some of the other artists set to perform and heard Yola on Youtube and was instantly hooked. Her voice is more powerful than prime Manny Ramirez, her lyrical content shits on the horrors of humanity, and she's on Dan Auerbach's label; I was sold after one listen. FTR, I would love to break a bed with her. You know Yola and Dozo would do damage like the 2018 Red Sox.
#19. "Last Train Home" John Mayer
I saw John Mayer live with Dead and Co. this summer and felt more out of place than Shaq at an American Girl Doll convention. Don't get me wrong, I love doing drugs too, but I am not a Dead Head, or at least wasn't until I fifth wheeled with two couples. I didn't know a single song, but I could pass as a Dead Head since my hair is three feet long; I just had to vibe, man!
Sob Rock and an 80s aesthetic are much more my speed. I didn't give this album the attention it deserves; I might've listened once through when it came out, but I love John Mayer, and this was the only song from Sob Rock that made my Apple Music Top 100 plays. So based on the data, I enjoyed it!
"Breathe Deeper" is one of my favorite tracks on 2020's The Slow Rush, and I fuck with Lil Boat just off persona alone. Lil Yachty geeks me out, and sure I couldn't name five songs of his for all the money on earth, but I loved this one. The "Breathe Deeper" remix and "Patience" (I still don't understand why it was left off the original album) are my favorites from the still not fully released B-sides and Remixes.
Including this song is kind of cheating since it's technically an unreleased track from The Black Key's 2010 masterpiece Brothers, but idc, it's my fucking blog! It came out in 2021!!
I'm not a fighter; I have the coordination of a used car dealership blow-up man and could get categorized as a pussy, but this song makes me wanna throw on my best leather jacket, put a toothpick in my mouth and fight the first dude who hits me with that "you are NOT a leather jacket guy" look.
As the follow-up track to another Japanese Breakfast song soon to come on the list, "Kokomo, IN" certainly caught my attention with the Beach Boys reference, but the strings and storytelling kept me listening. Tranquil AF.
#15. "America's Cup" Pond
The only reason I knew about Pond before "America's Cup" was their affiliation with Tame Impala. Then this summer, "America's Cup" came on Ryan Radio (Apple Music), and between the race's Newport connection and being vaguely familiar with them, I gave it a chance. This shit is funky and fun, and sometimes that's enough to earn a spot on the countdown. If you rode in my ubah this summer, there's a great chance you heard this one!
#14. "How Can I Make It Ok?" Wolf Alice
I didn't find out about Wolf Alice until July; then, I made up for years of lost time with a month-long binge. Luckily, I wasn't too late for their latest release Blue Weekend, and this is the first of three tracks from the album to crack the countdown. "How Can I Make It Ok?" was my 15th most played song of the year, which means it should be much higher since nine of them aren't from 2021, but these numbers are fucking meaningless for the most part! P.S. Ellie Roswell is a goddess.
My old roommate showed me these guys last year, and they're the embodiment of PVO. Ocean Alley is consistently one of the biggest acts in Australia, and it's about time they start getting the recognition they deserve in the states. If this were a list of bands I'd want to smoke joints on a beach with, they'd be #1, but it's my favorite songs of 2021, and 13 is not a lousy spot for this soaking wet song that's sadly not about football.
#12. "Starlight" Yola
Speaking of smoking, my girl Yola has pipes for fucking days. I'm not trying to pin two plus-sized African America women singers against each other (there's enough room for everybody), but Yola should be a million times more successful than Lizzo. She's actually talented and doesn't dress like Winnie the Pooh for attention. Fuck the music industry, and if you're reading this, Yola, the bed-breaking offer is on the table and does not expire (although diet starts Monday)!
"Distorted Light Beam" might be a little dystopic and too on the nose at times, but it's still a solid song and catchy as hell. I'll bang the "Dan Smith has one of the most underrated voices in rock (although it's getting harder and harder to label Bastille that way)" drum until the metaverse crashes.. Read what I wrote about this song in July (linked in the heading); it all still holds up.
#10. "Be Sweet" Japanese Breakfast
The video is as cute and fun as the song itself. Right from the jump, that bass line hits you, and you know you're in for an 80s pop flashback. I loveeee the synth and "be sweets" between lines in the chorus. Even though it's about begging a siggy-O to do the bare minimum and simply be sweet, this song is right up my alley and a straight-up blast to listen to.
"Smile" almost has a Rush feel to it with that riff and doesn't sound like much of what else I've heard from Wolf Alice, but this song is a certified ass-kicker. It's a middle finger to people with preconceived notions. I, too, am not ashamed to admit that I'm sensitive! I love that whole verse, but the "If you don't like me well, that isn't fucking relevant" line gets me fired up like Randy, the dinosaur's girlfriend.
#T-8. "Hurt," "Too Good," "Just Go" Arlo Parks
Again, math is not my swag. I had a hard time picking between songs from one of my favorite albums of the year, Collapsed in Sunbeams, so I exercised some creative/executive privilege (unfortunately, this is the only exercising I've done in 2021) to loophole one of my best musical discoveries of the year. Arlo's voice is the closest I've come to curing my d3pr3ss10n lolz! She's a straight-up poet with the voice of an angel; I cannot recommend her album enough!
#7. "So Ready" Goose
I love this song, but honestly, I'm not sure it's ranked this high without the video; it's probably my favorite of the year.
Two of my best friends are Goosed down like a cozy but dangerous comforter and have tried to get me into the jam band space, I haven't dabbled as much, but I've dug what I've heard. "So Ready" was a go-to "youtube and doob" sess song in my house this year, so it'd be disingenuous of me not to include it on this countdown, but the fake motorcycling on the dance floor sealed its spot in my Top 10.
#6. "good 4 u" Olivia Rodrigo
I don't fw "drivers license" at all, so when that shit was everywhere, I was already sort of annoyed with Olivia Rodrigo and could have even been classified as a hater. Back in like Week 1 or 2 of the NFL, I watched some of the games with two of my friends, and one of them convinced me to give her another chance, and man, am I glad I did. I LOVE "good 4 u." IMO it's Olivia's best song, and I really don't care if it's a rip-off of Misery Business or not. Paramore shouldn't have cared since they don't even fucking play it anymore. I'm not trying to go down the copyright rabbit hole rn; I just know I love this song, and it fucking rocks.
#5. "Time in Disguise" Kings of Leon
"Time in Disguise" is my 2nd favorite song of KOL's When You See Yourself and maybe Jared's best bass work. According to the Followill's, it's about getting caught up in a "red carpet lifestyle." While I can't speak too much about that experience, my interpretation is similar in the sense of feeling lost and uncomfortable in a life you never expected to lead. I can't believe I'm still trying to pretend to be a history teacher, but hopefully, the first half of 2022 will be the end of that! "Close your eyes, and what do you see? Is it a man or a masked machine?" Chills.
#4. "Powered Up" Cobra Man (just watch the first 3:10 for the music video)
I love flexing my quasi-intellectual muscles as much as the next guy, but sometimes you need a not-so-serious, fun-ass power disco bop to get you through a shitty year, and that's precisely what "Powered Up" is. It's a phenomenal driving/80s movie coked-out training montage song. I have tickets to see Cobra Man in Boston in April and cannot wait. I've been big on these guys for like five years, thanks to 3 Pac.
#3. "Lipstick on the Glass" Wolf Alice
Well, obviously, I love songs about cheating.
In all seriousness, "Lipstick on the Glass" is a haunting raw vocal clinic that gives me goosebumps every listen. I haven't used this cliche yet, but you can feel the emotion in this song. Wolf Alice is easily my favorite band discovery of 2021, and this is one of two songs in the top three that made me cry in 2021; it's that good!
You may have noticed by now that if any of these songs were used as SODs this year, I linked that in the heading. I could give you a little something fresh, but nothing will top what I said back in March:
Birth rates are the lowest they've been in over 35 years, but thanks to Anderson .Paak and Bruno Mars, who've joined forces as "Silk Sonic" that is about to change in a big way. These boys are dripping swag, and this song FUCKS. No two ways about it. Someone is going to get pregnant to this tonight; that's just a fact. These harmonies could destroy an IUD like an IED. I absolutely love the 70's aesthetic and sound. Makes me want to put wood paneling everywhere. "Leave the Door Open" is going to be a post-COVID anthem (fingers crossed). The choreography in the beginning, forces a smile on your face. People overuse the shit out of the term "it's a vibe", but this song and video is literally a vibe. Everybody looks like they're having so much fun (remember fun?) and the way Anderson .Paak plays drums will always blow my mind; just absolutely oozing swag from every orifice of his body. This video is so simple, yet satisfying and I cannot wait for the entire album. I was under the impression the whole thing was coming out today, but for now, we'll have to wait; unfortunately, there's no release date yet. If the rest sounds anything like this, Silk Sonic might've gone overboard and caused too many pregnancies. I know society is full of people with awful opinions, but how did 1.6K people dislike this video? David fucking Duke could vibe to this.
The #2 track on my Apple Music most played list comes in at #1 for my top song of 2021. I know Kings of Leon may be a punchline to some music fans, but they're one of my favorite bands and became my #1 most seen act when I saw them solo dozo in Mansfield in a spur-of-the-moment decision on a slow ubah night.
At first, "100,000 People" seems like a love song, but it's actually about watching a loved one battle Alzheimer's. It was like a light bulb went off; it makes perfect sense when you truly listen to the lyrics. Seeing that disease destroy my grandpa from afar while I was in college (I didn't get to see him nearly enough during my URI days) has 100,000 hit close to home. I bawled my eyes out at Xfinity when they played it, and this is not hyperbole; I think it's the best KOL song of the last 10 years. It's a beautifully composed, vulnerable masterpiece with legitimate purpose and meaning, unlike most commercial crap. I hate to end a fun blog topic on such a sad note, but I mean, that's life; it's not always perfect as we've seen this year. But after nearly 20 years, KOL still has it and only continues to evolve as a band. "100,000 People" by Kings of Leon is the 2021 DOL Song of the Year.
P.S.
LATE ENTRY HONORABLE MENTION....Who knew Chance had that country twang in him?? Try to watch this and not smile. You can't! This game shouldn't be a single segment on Fallon; I need it as a weekly hour-long program.
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At this point, I highly doubt my blog is breaking news to anybody, but yesterday, Hall of Fame Head Coach, the only man to broadcast a game for all four major networks and the face of one of the most popular video games of all time, John Madden passed away at the age of 85.
There have been countless deaths of people I never got a chance to meet throughout the history of DOL, but I don't think any impacted me quite like John Madden. He's the most significant sports personality of all time. Football is my favorite sport, and John Madden lived the perfect football life. I've spent unmeasurable hours listening to him and other legends instead of sleeping.
His episode of "A Football Life" needs to get reposted too!
He's one of the game's greatest contributors, and even though he's gone, he'll live on forever in Canton, OH, in the Pro Football Hall of Fame, where he so famously said during his 2006 enshrinement that the busts talk to each other at night once the building is empty (clearly a Toy Story reference by the coolest football guy ever).
If you polled people about how they know John Madden, you'd likely get a different answer depending on their age. To anybody around my parent's age or above (let's call it late 50s +), they were likely introduced to John Madden as the charismatic, demonstrative, and often disheveled coach of the Oakland Raiders.
Coach Madden got his coaching start as his playing days came to a close. An injury in 1958 ended his career as an offensive lineman, but he spent that season watching film and learning the game with Eagles great Norm van Brocklin. He then coached at Allen Hancock College and San Diego State in the 1960s, until Al Davis hired him in 1967 to coach the Raiders linebackers. That year the Raiders lost Super Bowl II to Vince Lombardi's Packers in what ended up being his final game as the Packers head coach. That's how far back Madden's professional football days go.
Two years later, at just 32 years old, Madden became the youngest coach in the American Football League, where his Raiders went 12-1-1, but lost the final AFL Championship Game to the eventual Super Bowl champion Kansas City Chiefs. That became a theme of Madden's coaching career. Before winning Super Bowl XI, his Raiders lost 5 AFL/AFC Championship Games to the eventual Super Bowl champs. Despite all the close calls, Madden's coaching style made him beloved by his players. He loved riding the sled and let his characters be characters. In an era where coaches like Hank Stram wouldn't allow sideburns, Madden was on the other end of the spectrum. He considered his players artists and didn't want to inhibit them with arbitrary rules that don't affect the boxscore.
His Raiders were on both sides of some of the most infamous games in NFL history "The Sea of Hands," "Ghost to the Post," "The Holy Roller," but none changed the course of NFL history quite like the "Immaculate Reception." From what I've watched over the years, I can say with confidence that Madden never got over that one.
In 1977 (1976 season) Madden and the Oakland Raiders finally won the "big one" over another 70s power house that couldn't get the monkey off their back, the Minnesota Vikings. That was Madden's Raiders finest hour, winning 32-14 highlighted by one of the great clips in NFL Films history that I'm sure will be blocked on this site. Old Man Willie!
In 1977 the Raiders lost the AFC Championship to the Denver Broncos. The following year, the Raiders went 9-7 and missed the playoffs for only the 2nd time in his career. After the season ended, the NFL was shocked by the news that at just 42 years old, a burnout John Madden was retiring. In his speech, he said that he was never going to coach again, and I'd imagine people didn't believe it at the time, but it was the truth.
John Madden still holds the highest winning percentage of any coach to coach at least 100 games in NFL history (.750% or .759% without ties). He never had a losing season in Oakland and went 103-32-7 in 10 seasons and 9-7 in the playoffs, highlighted by a victory in Super Bowl XI. 
For a slightly younger generation (let's say 40+), their first memories of John Madden are likely as a TV broadcaster and pitchman for brands like Miller Lite, Tinactin, Rent-a-Center, Outback Steakhouse, Verizon, and others.
John Madden spent the bulk of his broadcasting days at CBS (1979-1993) paired with Pat Summerall from 1981-1993, where their contrasting styles paired beautifully like a chocolate-covered pretzel. Madden became a fan favorite for his energetic breakdowns and descriptions using everyday language and his famed telestrator to teach the game to millions of fans. Plus, as a former offensive lineman, he credited the big uglies that made everything on the field possible.
When CBS shockingly lost their rights to broadcast NFL games, Madden became the most sought-after free agent in television history. He'd reunite with Summerall calling games on Fox from 1994-2001. Personally, their final game together is my favorite.
Then from 2002-2008 he worked with Al Michaels at both ABC calling Monday Night Football (2002-05) and NBC calling Sunday Night Football (2006-2008). His final broadcast was Super Bowl XLIII, one of the most thrilling Super Bowls of all time.
His third significant contribution to the game, Madden Football, or simply Madden, might've had the most enormous reach. Everybody knows the "Madden Curse." I've spent more hours of my life playing that game than I've spent reading, having s*x, and working combined. I can remember watching Madden on TV, but this game introduced the Madden name to people around my age. I used to play Madden 2001 on a PS1 with my dad, but for me, Madden 2004, the first football game I got for PS2, changed everything. IMO it's the best sports video game of all time.
John Madden was larger than life and made football fun and accessible for literally millions of people. He made cameos in movies, stopped in thousands of small towns across the nation on his Madden Cruiser, got to see the fabric of our country, and was simply beloved by everybody who ever encountered him. Hell, he even made light beer cool.
Even at 85, the news was crushing. It's sad that he's gone, but talk about a life well-lived. I'm just glad he got to live for another Christmas and see the incredible documentary about his football life that debuted that same day. My thoughts and love are with his wife Virginia, their sons Joe and Michael, and the rest of his family. There will never be another John Madden. His impact will be felt for generations to come. Rest in Peace, coach. The great game of football is better because of you.
Song: "I'll Be Missing You" (1997) Artist: Puff Daddy featuring Faith Evans & 112 Album: No Way Out R.I.P. John Madden; he loved this song.
I dug myself too deep of a hole on Tuesday and still put up a respectable 10 spot, but it wasn't enough to take down Out of Office in #DozVsTheDozen XXX. As someone who is undiagnosed, I'm not surprised at all by this news; it makes sense in the world and gives ya boi some hope!
Tonight is a special end of 2021 battle for the Crown match of The Dozen! Match 165 (1) Big Screamin' Honkers vs. (6) Chicago. It's Christmas eve-eve. Storm your couch, relax and enjoy this 1-6 matchup.
Chicago is the ultimate wild card, and the fact they're ranked #6 is an absolute joke given their trivia acumen, but it still should be an entertaining end to the 2021 trivia campaign.
The line is set at Honkers -4.5, O/V: 19.5; last episode, my O/V was Vegas sharp, but my spreads have been bulletin board material for the underdogs. It'd be hilarious to see Chicago hold the Crown, but I actually kind of love my chances tonight. I've been on a bit of a tear recently, winning four of my last seven matches, and if you want to be the best, you have to beat the best. Whoever wins tonight is technically in first place, so if I win, by default, am I too. Alright, I feel like I'm rambling at this point; you all know the deal. The ONLY place to catch live episodes of #DozVsTheDozen is my Instagram (@dozonlife). That's www.instagram.com/dozonlife. I can't wait to see you in the comment section! I'd say thank you for all the support, but I can text the eight people who pop up—Merry Christmas to everybody. Let's end 2021 with a win!
Song: Last Christmas (1984)
Artist: Wham! Album: Music from the Edge of Heaven
I finally finished all my Christmas shopping, and there will be a new episode of #DozVsTheDozen tonight at 7:05. With all the hustle and bustle of the next few days..don't be surprised if there's a lack of written content on this site, but I've got big things in store for next week! Who would've guessed finding lavender lotion was so tricky???
I thought I tweeted about how the first Bath and Bodyworks I hit up had nothing, which I planned on embedding as well, but I guess I just texted that to my boys! Anyways, Merry Christmas and R.I.P. George Michael! 2016 being five, well now basically six years ago is gross.
Anxiety and self-doubt usually make me fearful of responding to tweets, but when my future co-worker/friend Jared Carrabis tweeted this, I had to give my two cents.
For obvious reasons, you could mention the 2004 Red Sox or 2016 Cubs, but I am not an obvious boi. I like to be creative and think outside the box. When I saw this tweet, I immediately thought of the story where two Yankee pitchers traded FAMILIES in the 70s. Talk about re-inventing the "key party." These southpaws showed up at someone's house and never left (well, as you'll soon learn, one did).
I heard the story years ago and have read a little about it, but I didn't remember their names at first; upon further research (Wikipedia), I came across the story of Mike Kekich and Fritz Peterson.
Baseball is a funny game full of colorful characters, but I cannot think of a more out-there story involving big leaguers than the "live swap" of Kekich and Peterson. These fellas were generations ahead of their time.
Apparently, both couples were close, and after a party, they decided to drive to a diner with the other's spouse, but one new duo didn't show up for two and a half hours, which led to this husband-trade.
By the time the 1973 season began, both pitchers broke the news in separate press conferences due to more and more people knowing their arrangement. You have to control the narrative before it controls you. It was NOT a sex thing! In his press conference, Kekcih said, "Unless people know the full details, it could turn out to be a nasty type thing. Don't say this was wife-swapping, because it wasn't. We didn't swap wives, we swapped lives." You can read the entire 1973 New York Daily News article about Kekich and Peterson HERE, but they weren't lying about it being a live swap. These dudes swapped, wives, children, houses---even dogs. I think/know for a fact that my parent's divorce fucked me up, but I can't even begin to imagine how this affected the kids. To me, that's the craziest part of the entire story. I need to know like Marc Anthony how they've handled it. In fact, I need to know A LOT about this. Who broke the ice and officially put this offer on the table? Did they still have relationships with their biological children or was it a clean break? Did the dogs notice? I could go on forever baby. It's such a fascinating story that got a fair share of coverage in 1973, but nearly 50 years later, the details behind this trade need to be told to the masses.
Unfortunately, by the time the news broke, Mike Kekich and Marlyn Peterson were no longer together, but Fritz Peterson and Susanne Kekich are still married to this day, and that's kind of beautiful. Sadly, Mike and Susanne had to end for Fritz and Susanne to thrive, but love is love, and the heart wants what it wants, blah, blah, blah. In my eyes, it's a happy story. Matt Damon and Ben Affleck allegedly tried to get the ball rolling on a feature film about Kekich and Peterson back in 2011, but understandably, Kekich wasn't too thrilled and threatened to sue. (Fritz Peterson was fully corporative.) I'm not rooting for Mike Kekich to die; I'm just saying when he does, he can't sue anybody, and maybe this story can get the green light. If it weren't for #DozVsTheDozen XXX, I'd dive way deeper into this topic, but I've gotta go put on a show! I'll end with this: society has been through enough; we deserve to see this story on the big screen. For the record, Mike Kekich is 76 years old. Tick, tock.
Despite hovering between 100,000-800,000 viewers per stream, #DozVsTheDozen has yet to reach double digits concurrent viewers. Of course, I don't love that, but it's just a nice little wrinkle to add to my "remember back when?" story when I'm a full-time Barstool employee telling my story of perseverance. Until then, I've got to deal with not one but two Tuesday Night NFL games in the battle for eyeballs. Tonight is a textbook watch me on your phone with the game on in the background on mute situation. At least the NFL made both of these games available for the fans...
Speaking of battle, tonight's matchup for Match 164 of The Dozen is (T-10) and last year's runners-up, Misfits vs. (13) Out of Office.
Quick S/O to Henry Lockwood for his scoring explosion.
The line is set at Misfits -2.5, O/U: 18.5. With Hank's recent rise, Misfits are becoming a much more well-rounded team, while Out of Office is basically a one-man squad on the back of Chris Castellini. Joey and Duggs will end up proving me wrong and combining for something crazy like five points in an outright victory after that remark, but keep an eye on the sabermetrics during tonight's match; I'd be shocked to see either of them averaging more than 3 PPG.
Last week, I started my 30s off with a win over Team Minihane and urMom in #DVTD XXIX. If you missed the match, I've gotchu!! Please like and subscribe.
I've been getting a little too lenient with my scoring, and as a hashtag good guy, I'm officially taking two points off my total from #DVTD XXIX. Rudy got Vikram out before I did. My final score is now 14, which was still enough to win.
Can ya boi Ole Dozo make it two straight wins while competing with two teams AND two NFL games on a Tuesday??? The only way to find out is to tune in live! #DozVsTheDozen XXIX starts at 7:05 PM est on this blog's IG (@dozonlife). That's www.instagram.com/dozonlife. I can't wait to see you in the comment section! Song: Christmas in Hollis (1987) Artist: Run-D.M.C. Album: A Very Special Christmas It's been so long since my last blog that I almost forgot that all SOD's until next week MUST be Christmas related. God is love- Rev Run
Forgot an "is" and it's still blowing up. When you're hot, you're hot.
I want to say I cannot believe the Chargers blew that game, but I 1,000,000% can. This is who the San Diego/Los Angeles Chargers have been my entire life.
They say you can't beat the Chiefs with field goals, but you definitely can't beat them with empty possessions, something the Chargers did FOUR (4) times inside the five-yard line tonight. I'm not some anti-analytics guy. I like the aggressiveness we've seen in the NFL the last couple of years. I think teams should go for it more on 4th and short once they pass their own 40-yard line, but I'm a bigger believer in points winning games and emotional letdowns mattering. When you have a long drive, it's better to get something on the board. Football is an emotional game, and there's a natural letdown when you come up empty on a good, long drive. You can't get mad at the Chargers defense for falling apart late. They held tough, time and time again, the Chargers continued to leave a free three points on the field.
I've gotta fucking teach kids in like eight hours, so I don't want to spend too much time talking in circles, but I cannot believe that Brandon Staley bullshit. I get he's a super aggressive coach, but Jesus Christ, dude, use your heart instead of relying on a computer one time. Even though I hate the first 4th down attempt..especially because it was 4th & goal on the five-yard line, I get it. You want momentum early; if you fail you've got KC pinned deep blah, blah, blah, but to go for it to end the half...absolutely idiotic. How do you not take the guaranteed three at the end of the first half to go up 7? I cannot wait to hear him try to weasel his way out of leaving NINE points on the field in an overtime loss. Now the Chargers playoff hopes get a lot murkier with the Vikings, Broncos, and Raiders left on their schedule; none of those games are sure wins.
Not only did I have Chargers ML +145 AND +340, but more importantly, I want the New England Patriots to win the Super Bowl. They need the bye, and a Chiefs loss would've pushed them a half-game back in the AFC standings. Now the Chiefs are gonna fuck around and win it all after this "wide open" year. Fuck Travis Kelce, Tyreek Hill, and Brandon Staley. I can't/can believe it. Same old Chargers, it doesn't matter where they call home. At least I went the fuck OFF in #DozVsTheDozen.
Aaron Rodger's relationship (or lack thereof) with his family has been highly documented and criticized over the last few years, but we don't know the whole story. It's easy to make jokes online about him, but as someone who has some "strained" relationships, I think we should give him the benefit of the doubt in this situation. He could easily be the one in the right; it's not like intentionally misleading the public, your teammates, and coaches about being vaccinated.
Every single time he does anything, Jackson Mahomes makes me understand why Aaron Rodgers cut his family out of his life. In case you don't know who Jackson Mahomes is, lucky you! He's the leeching, clout chasing, not talented younger brother of Kansas City Chiefs QB Patrick Mahomes, and he is NOT a hashtag good guy/possible they (not that there's anything wrong with that)!
Sort of long video, but it's worth it to see more backstory of why this guy SUCKS.
In perhaps the least surprising news of all time, Jackson Mahomes was a dick to people in the service industry. Apparently, he caused a scene at a small Kansas City bar SoT when they could not accommodate his "entourage," then tried to use his status to cancel the establishment.
SoT clapped back HARD and said what everybody who's ever encountered this fuck boy is thinking.
I mean, it's fucking perfect. I did a fist pump while I read it. It's so sarcastic and rips right into everything that is wrong about Jackson Mahomes. He is abrasive, annoying, and immature. He literally has no reason to be "famous" other than being a sibling of Patrick Mahomes, yet he acts like he's responsible for his "fame." Classic born on 3rd and thinks he hit a triple guy. He's the poster boy of why people hate TikTokers (although I'm currently cool with the Tok).
Because society is crumbling and Patrick Mahomes is probably the most powerful man in Kansas City, earlier today, SoT apologized for going IN like a Tiger Woods putt on Jackson. 
I creeped on their IG and saw that comment shortly before they deleted it, turned off the comments, then reposted the comment. Dozo's been catching serious twitter numbies.
There were mixed reviews. Some thought the apology was the right move.
I liked BigfootWallace'sBurnerAccount's tweet, partly cause I wasn't trying to pad someone slightly out-liking me's numbers, but mainly because I legitimately like this take better.
Another valid point. I'm in favor of anything that makes Jackson Mahomes go away.
Now these are my people.
Whether or not you fuck with the fact SoT bent the knee; nothing will change the fact that they called Jackson Mahomes tf out. I understand why they apologized; I just wish they didn't or weren't so calculated and fake. Whatever, I choose to respect them for saying it in the first place. I get sometimes you gotta play the game, and like the tweet I embed, it does allow them to play the high road and makes Jackson look awful if he retaliates. If you're ever in the Kansas City area with a reasonable number of people, be sure to check out SoT.
P.S.
While I don't fw or approve of this use of the "R" word (it's not 2012 anymore, bro, it's time to evolve), this is another good breakdown of why Jackson Mahomes sucks. Plus, it gives Patrick's annoying horse-girl ass fiancé the credit she deserves as a cringe-worthy person. |
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