Broooo Hayley's toochie bouncing around in that sequence jumpsuit. I'm real happy rn.
The dozo paramore renaissance is real af. After Laughter is one of my favorite albums of last year, and it caused me to reflect on how much I've underappreciated paramore over the years. V similar to my realization that I love Lady Gaga and have since 2008.
Well Kenny G, who previously has had a surprisingly funny twitter game well-i-guess-im-a-kenny-g-guy-now.html is back at it again with a reference to paramore's "Fake Happy" with this picture he posted yesterday.
Almost immediately Hayley Williams (lead singer of paramore) chimed in.
It's perfect. The eyes, the smile through his teeth (bet you believe me?). It's everything the song is about. The only problem is I'm only like 83% sure this is a paramore reference. Really hope it is, otherwise I think someone should go check on Kenny G to make sure he's okay STAT because this would be textbook cry for help situation. At least send the man a "you alright bro?" text.
Luckily the officially band twitter/Insta did just that.
The replies to this tweet were delightful. I haven't seen Americans work together so beautifully for a common cause since Hands Across America (even though I was negative 5 years old when it happened).
We even got onomatopoeia of the syzth. God, I love twitter dot com.
This is art.
this is why twitter is still the best thing about the internet (after porn, online gambling, access to every tv show/movie ever made)
Malcolm Butler Says He Almost Confronted Belichick and Patricia During The Super Bowl
Ohhhhhhhh so you were gonna say something Malcolm, but decided not to?
Part of me wants to stop talking about the Super Bowl because it just adds to the narrative that Patriot fans are sore losers, and gets me more upset. It's like an ex. When you eliminate it from your daily thoughts it doesn't bother you, but then when it's brought up you can't help but think about it and just get pissed off at how shitty of a person they are. That's basically how I feel about the Malcolm Butler situation. I don't think about it everyday, but once it gets brought up it's all I can dwell on and it fucking infuriates me. But deep down I know it's pointless because I'm just getting angry about something I know can never be changed.
Buuuuuuut then part of me doesn't give half a fuck about complaining because I'd rather be honest with not only myself but my loyal reader (yea said reader on purpose cause nobody reads this get it? lolol). Benching Malcolm Butler cost the Patriots a Super Bowl. Plain and simple amigo. If he plays they win, I am 100% confident in that statement. Yes, I will die on that hill.
This really pisses me off to see because if you're Malcolm Butler you HAVE TO say something. According to the SI video he said he was going to say something then decided not to out of respect, Bro fuck respect. Know what people respect? Super Bowl Rings.
If I ever met Malcolm Butler my only question would be why didn't you say anything to Belichick during the Super Bowl? You had nothing to lose (except the Super Bowl), don't you go on twitter? It's shoot your shot szn bro! After the Pats D gave up over 300 yards in the first half you had a pretty good argument as to why you should've been playing.
Plus if you're Malcolm it's not like you were coming back to the Patriots. Stevie Wonder could see that. So you really didn't have to deal with the wrath of Belichick should saying something only piss him off more. After Super Bowl LII you could go on your merry way to another franchise with a 3rd Super Bowl ring. Because it's been clear for over a year that for some reason Bill Belichick and the Patriots had had enough of Malcolm Butler, something I'll never understand. For the millionth time he literally stole this organization a championship.
Lest we forget?
He's great talent, who seemed pretty loyal and just wanted to be compensated a little more fairly. I bet the Pats could've gotten him for a better deal than the Titans did (4 years 61 million) had they handled the situation better from the jump. Now we get washed up Jason McCourty...sweet.
Between this and the news that the Corey Clement catch was definitely not a catch, how can you not expect Pats fans to be butthurt about the Super Bowl?
Yes, we have more championships in the 21st century than any other franchise in the major four sports, and our season doesn't start until the AFC Championship game, but that shouldn't matter when talking about this game. Just because you've been great and successful doesn't mean you should not care about the trend continuing. Do you think Apple is like "oh we've already sold enough iPhones let's let Samsung have their turn?" I really wish Malcolm's final act in New England would've been fighting for himself.
The Patriots (Bill Belichick) fucked themselves over by arrogance and ego and it cost the team a championship. With Tom Brady over 40 years old there is no guarantee you'll be back. I just am so pissed at all parties involved: Belichick for being such an ass hole that he'd rather lose a fucking Super Bowl than give in to a player, Matt Patricia who knew he was leaving the organization for not having the balls to pull a coach Yoast and put in Malcolm against the head coaches will, and lastly I'm pissed at Malcolm Butler for not having the pride to go up to the coaches and demand to go into the game whilst Eric Rowe and Johnson Bademosi were getting torched like a crème brûlée.
Back on the bitter/sore loser subject. You're fucking right I'm bitter and a sore loser. How can you not be in this situation? You lost to an inferior team with a God damn backup quarterback while your head coach allowed scrubs to get burnt play after play when they had a better option readily available. He's like the people on the Titanic who sent off lifeboats 1/3 full letting more people die, when there clearly was a way to save more lives. Belichick watched his house burn down without calling the fire department. Maybe they can't save the place,,, but you know what? I like my chances a lot better if they show up.
Like if I was a Falcons fan I'd be bitter as fuck about Super Bowl LI. Even after the Patriots starting coming back they had the ball on the New England 22 (TWENTY TWO) yard line up 8 with like 3 minutes left and ended up punting. I'd never let that go, just like I'll never get over Bill Belichick sabotaging the Patriots chance to win it's 6th Super Bowl.
Song of the Day March 30th
Song: Call Out My Name
Artist: The Weeknd
Album: My Dearest Melancholy,
Opening Day is Thursday. Hooray!! Depending on when this blog gets published you could be reading this on Thursday in which case Opening Day is today!
MLB finally smartened up and has all 30 teams playing on the same day. Everybody is opening on the same day for what seems like the first time that I can remember. No overseas fake opener bull shit, thank God. Everybody is coming out of the blocks on March 29th which is the earliest Opening Day in MLB history according to an article I just glazed over to make sure I had the date correct.
I started this blog Tuesday night after an 11 hour work day #realman so it's not going to be as in depth as years past. Don't need to waste my time talking about the Marlins or Tigers for more than two sentences. Tbh it doesn't matter, people sadly don't care about baseball as much as I do so I'm sure this blog will get like 14 reads (if that). While I love the game and don't mind the time it takes I am definitely an outlier in today's no attention span generation. Baseball definitely has a youth problem. The average age of a baseball fan is like 57 years old. Not ideal!
If you are a baseball fan, which I'd assume you are if you're reading this, then I'm sure you're excited for Opening Day. It's a great day. Baseball is back. I personally have v high expectations for the Red Sox this year. Everybody is sucking the Yankees dick because they added Stanton but...you know I'll wait to dive deeper into that. This season on paper seems to be sort of locked up. I'd say 5 of the 6 divisions seem to have a runaway winner, although as we all know the game is not played on paper. Oh fuck the cliche police just knocked on my door. It's true though, every prediction post I've read has the same 6 teams winning the divisions. The AL East seems to be the only division that people are even considering to have some legit competition for the division crown. I think it's kind of short sighted because sports surprise people every season; especially baseball. Seemingly every year there surely will be a surprise team or two that "makes some noise" that nobody saw coming. Nobody thought the Red Sox would win the 2013 World Series in Spring Training or that the Royals in 2014 would come a game away from a World Series win... anything can happen. Even the Yankees were supposed to be in a "rebuilding year" and they were a game away from a pennant last season. One more example? Okay you got it. Who would've guessed on Opening Day 2012 that the Oakland A's would win the AL West?
However you could make the argument that now with tanking being a thing in baseball (which is idiotic imo, there's no bigger crap shoot than the MLB draft) it seems like there's less parity than ever. Baseball is extremely top heavy. I feel like this season you could see a team win 98 games and not have home field advantage in the division series. It wouldn't shock me if every division winner in the American League won 100 plus games.
As for this season here's what I think is going to happen, let's start with the National League:
National League East Champs: Washington Nationals
1. Washington Nationals: 97-65
The Nationals have been a perennial contender since Bryce Harper showed up in 2012. They've won the NL East four of the last six season; however they've advanced past the NLDS zero times. It may be now, now, now, now, now or never for the Nats. S/o Hasley.
As a baseball fan I'd love to see them hold onto Harper after this season, but in his free agent year this could be the Nats final chance to make a deep October run. If he's healthy I expect an MVP type year from Bryce. This lineup is more than fine. Harper, Zimmerman, Murphy, Turner, Rendon. They have the pitching to win a ring or at least win a playoff series with two-time defender Cy Young Award winner in Max Scherzer, Stephen Strasburg, and Gio Gonzalez. That's one of the best 1-2-3's in the entire league. I'm going to look dumb when they lose in the NLDS in 5 again this season but I really do think this is the year they get over the hump.
Their new manager Dave Martinez took a page out of the football guy playbook and brought an actual camel into spring training to signify the Nats getting over the first round hump in 2018. If this doesn't work I think we should just send them back to Montreal.
2. New York Mets: 86-74
Personally, I have a soft spot in my heart for this organization. They should've won it all in 2015. They're the only NY team that I don't hate, mainly because of their shared Yankee hatedred. Plus I have a ton of respect for people who grew up in NY and decided to be Mets fans over Yankees fans. They're the real baseball fans in NY. Not some fair-weather bull shit.
If healthy,,, the Mets are a borderline Wild Card team, but that is a big IF. Talking Bartolo Colon big (he'll always be a Met to me!) The Mets made some nice low risk / medium reward signings this off-season; they brought back Jay Bruce after a brief stint in Cleveland. I'm really interested to see if Adrian Gonzalez can regain his old form. Todd Frazier is a strikeout machine but can hit you 30 + bombs.
The Mets underachieved with the starting staff this team has. Injuries have been a killer. Really hope that Thor, deGrom, and Harvey can all be healthy for an entire season. I feel bad for Mets fans, this team should be a legit World Series contender with the starting staff it has, but last year they were an absolute joke. 70-92. What a disappointment.
It honestly wouldn't shock me if this team won 75 or 95 games. I think the talent is there, it's all about health with this roster. V interested to see what first year manager Mickey Callaway (great name) does in Queens. As a Terry Francona disciple I have high hopes for him,
3. Philadelphia Phillies: 81-81
The Phillies are on the up and up with a decent amount of young talent, they could turn some heads this year and be sneaky not awful. Guys like Rhys Hoskins, and Maikel Franco are exciting, although Franco needs to show me more consistency at the plate. If he can work on getting his on base percentage up he has a chance to take the next step, but you can't have a guy who's supposed to be a star with an on base below .300 that's uglier than Kathy Griffin during her apology video. I wish Jake Arrieta signed with an up and coming contender instead of wasting away in Philly, but who knows maybe he can help this team turn some heads. I still think he's one of the best big game pitchers in baseball, I expect him to end up being the ace of this staff with an era around 3.40 and anywhere from 12-18 wins. Gabe Kapler has a bright future as a manager with this team. Wouldn't be shocked if they were a playoff team in 2019, especially if they end up signing Harper.
4. Atlanta Braves: 71-91
I couldn't name 5 players on this roster. I'll try: Freddie Freeman, Nick Markakis, Julio Teheran, Dansby Swanson.....Fred McGriff? Pencil the Braves in for somewhere in the low to mid 70's for wins.
5. Miami Marlins: 58-104
Traded away everybody for essentially nothing, I do feel bad for the 47 real Marlins fans out there, they don't deserve this. I really think the Marlins and Rays should move out of Florida because it's apparent baseball cannot survive down there as they're both always in the bottom 2 of attendance in their respective leagues. Would not be shocked if this team lost 110+ games. Who is on this roster?
National League Central Champs: Chicago Cubs
1. Chicago Cubs: 95-67
I know a lot of people have gotten Cubs fatigue, personally I have nothing but love for the Cubbies. They have a roster full of likable, exciting guys who are easy to root for. How could someone not like Anthony Rizzo? (unless they're a Cardinals fan) I feel like I'm in the minority here but I would've rather hung onto Arrieta than signed Yu Darvish. I think the World Series last year for him was extremely frightening. Meanwhile Arrieta is nails in big games, and a proven winner. I do think the Cubs could have some competition in this division for most of the season, but overall I don't think the Brewers or Cardinals have the pitching to overtake the Cubbies just yet. Watch out for Wilson Contresas to have a break-out season.
2. Milwaukee Brewers: 89-73
I loveeeeeeeeeeee the Brew Crew's line-up and the additions they made this off-season in Yelich and Cain. In Miller Park this team is going to fucking mash baseballs, and it wouldn't shock me if they had a top 3 team batting average in the National League. Pitching on the other hand...not so sure. Chase Anderson was a borderline ace in 2017, but he needs to be able to give them more of a workload. Zach Davies is a nice piece at the top of the rotation, but as an objective fan I reeeeeeeeally wish they added an Arrieta, Cobb, or even Lance Lynn. Think that could've really bridged the gap in this division. I still think even without adding another arm this team will snag a wild-card spot. The Brewers might not have a deep October run but they are going to be one of the most fun teams to watch in the entire league in 2018.
3. St Louis Cardinals: 87-75
Marcell Ozuna was one of the best under the radar additions by any team this off-season. Yes you could say he was a product of Giancarlo Stanton, but the dude is a fucking stud. 37 HR 121 RBI .312/.376/.548 he flat out rakes. Also plays a gold glove left field. The Cards are interesting team, really solid line up. They always seem to have great pitchers in their system, even if you've never heard of them. You could be in far worse situation than Carlos Martinez at the top of your rotation. The Cards are a team that never sucks, could be a sneaky wild-card team in 2018.
4. Pittsburgh Pirates: 69-73
Really sad to see this team get torn apart. They had a nice run from 2013-2015. It's too bad they got really good after the advent of the 2nd wild-card. Who knows what could've happened to this team had they not had to play in the one-game playoff three straight years. I don't know too many players on this roster, just don't have high hopes for the Buccos in 2018. Neither does David Freese
5. Cincinnati Reds: 61-101
Joey Votto doesn't deserve this. He needs to go to a contender.
National League West Champs: Los Angeles Dodgers
1. Los Angeles Dodgers: 101-61
Best team in baseball last (regular) season, bringing back pretty much the same team. Dodgers were a game away from a ring in 2017, as long as this team doesn't have a plane crash or something catastrophic I expect them to be right back in October fighting for a World Series ring. Dodgers should runaway with the NL West. Oh and Matt Kemp is back. Fun! Great core, good manager, best pitcher of this generation, worst hair in baseball (Justin Turner).
2. Colorado Rockies: 90-72
I looooooooove this line-up. Nolan Arenado is the most under appreciated player in baseball. Charlie Blackmon is a stud. Sure Coors Field helps but they're two legit problems for opposing pitchers. Starting pitching is a question mark on this team to me, but they can just win games 8-7. Plus the bullpen could end up being one of the best in baseball. They just need to be within striking distance after five innings. Colorado added Wade Davis and Bryan Shaw. Two of the best available bullpen arms. I think the Rockies end up in the Wild Card Game for a 2nd straight season.
3. Arizona Diamondbacks: 88-74
The Dbacks will be in the hunt all year long. Losing JD Martinez hurts, but they still have a formidable lineup and one of the game's brightest talents in Paul Goldschmidt. Wouldn't blow my mind if they ended up back in October in 2018.
4. San Francisco Giants: 79-83
Really sucks Bumgarner got hurt, I think that will change the course of their season. If it was 2013 the Giants would've had the best hot stove ever by adding Evan Longoria and Andrew McCutchen. To me the Giants are, along with the Mets the most interesting teams in the NL. They could make the playoffs or lose 100 games. They just seem a little too old. Although it is an even year.
5. San Diego Padres: 70-92
Eric Hosmer, Wil Myers and 23 guys you've never heard of. At least they have the best play-by-play guy in the game.
MVP: Nolan Arenado
Dude has been putting up MVP numbers since he showed up in Denver. I think this is the year he finally gets the appreciation he deserves. IMO one of the 5 best position players in baseball.
Cy Young: Noah Syndergaard New York Mets
Picked him last year, got hurt. I may pick Thor every year until he eventually wins one. If he stays healthy it's bound to happen. Sure he's one of my favorite players in all of baseball but that bias was not accounted for here.
Rookie of the Year: P Jack Flaherty St. Louis Cardinals
Random top pitching prospect on the Cardinals that I had never heard of until I googled "NL rookie of the year contenders"? Love his chances. Love those unis even more.
Manager of the Year: Mickey Callaway New York Mets
1. Los Angeles Dodgers 101-61
2. Washington Nationals 97-65
3. Chicago Cubs 95-67
4. Colorado Rockies 90-72
5. Milwaukee Brewers 89-73
Wild Card Game:
(5) Brewers over (4) Rockies
(1) Dodgers over (5) Brewers in 3
(2) Nationals over (3) Cubs in 5 [rare time where picking the higher seed is still an upset]
(2) Nationals over (1) Dodgers in 6
NLCS MVP: Max Scherzer
American League East Champs: Boston Red Sox
1. Boston Red Sox: 98-64
Everybody and their mother is picking the Yankees to win the AL East because they added Giancarlo Stanton to a lineup that already hit the most home runs in baseball. That's all well and good and it wouldn't shock me at all if they did win this division, BUT everybody seems to be forgetting how the Red Sox won 93 games last year despite having down years from essentially every position player on the roster. Oh and they're about to get a full season of a healthy David Price. I think John Farrell didn't get the best out of his players last year, but the talent was so good that they still were able to win the division. I think under new manager Alex Cora you can expect this team to have a lot more fun in 2018 and be a lot more likable as well. It felt like the 2017 Sox had no personality, all they did was win one 15+ inning game a week. I really think the Red Sox pitching staff is the difference maker here. I don't expect Mookie Betts to hit in the .260's again, Xander is healthy, they added JD Martinez to add some pop to the line up. Sure he'll end up missing 40 games, but this offense has enough depth to be fine. People are sleeping on the Red Sox. They won 93 games last year despite basically no David Price, a ton of drama (mostly that was their own fault), an incompetent manager. All while hitting like 58 home runs as a team. I'm not just saying this because I'm a Red Sox fan but the Sox are a serious World Series contender. Also fun fact to end with, two of the last three managers the Sox have had won the World Series in their first season in Boston. 2018 will be Alex Cora's first season. Interesting.
2. New York Yankees: 95-67
The Yankees have the best line up in all of baseball. Deeper than the Indian Ocean. That being said I am still not completely sold on Aaron Judge. He had a monster 2017, but also strikes out 3 times a game, and as the season went on I feel like people sort of figured him out. He'll probably hit close to 40 bombs in 2018 but let's cool our jets after one season. Giancarlo "don't call me Mike" Stanton is the Yankees prized off season addition. He's coming off an NL MVP and 59 home runs. Derek Jeter basically gave him to the Yankees for free, nothing sketchy to see here. Obviously he's a fucking monster, but he's also not very durable. He's only played over 140 games 3 times in his 8 big league seasons. I just have a feeling he's going to get hit in the face again like he always does and miss two months. Even if that happens the Yankees lineup with Gary Sanchez, Didi Gregorious, Brett Gardner and others is fucking nasty. They're going to score a lot of runs. What I'm not sold on is the starting staff. C.C. had a bounce back in 2017 but can you really count on a 38 year old fat lefty to be this team's #2 pitcher? Other than Servino (who like Sale sucked in the playoffs) this rotation doesn't really scare me. What sucks for opposing fans and teams is that if they can hold the opposition to under 7 runs they'll probably be okay most nights.
3. Toronto Blue Jays: 82-80
Low key underrated pitching staff. Stroman is solid, J.A. Happ can win you 15ish games, I don't hate Estrada, if Aaron Sanchez can stay healthy watch out. The line up is okay. Josh Donaldson is definitely the highlight. I don't think the Blue Jays are going to make the playoffs, but I do think they'll surprise some people with how well they play in 2018.
4. Baltimore Orioles: 73-89
I don't understand why they're holding onto Manny Machado. The O's are going to be trash in 2018. Trade him and try to rebuild, there's a 0.0000000000% they resign him so what's the point?
5. Tampa Bay Rays: 67-95
Clearly tanking. Threw away a good chunk of their talent for little to no return this off-season. Expect to see Archer and Kiermierer moved too. In the Rays 20th anniversary season expect them to look a lot like those late 90's Devil Rays teams minus the aging stars. Rays and Marlins both need to move to markets who actually care about baseball. What a waste of a team. The Rays are going with a 4 man rotation because they're that cheap. I'm expecting it to blow up in their face like an Austin, TX FedEx.
American League Central Champs: Cleveland Indians
1. Cleveland Indians: 100-62
In Chief Wahoo's final season I expect the tribe to keep rolling just like in 2017 where they won an American League record 22 straight games. If Kluber doesn't pitch hurt in the playoffs I think they win the American League. They lost a few key pieces, but I still expect them to runaway with the Central.
2. Minnesota Twins: 88-74
Jose Berrios. Get familiar with that name. Really like what the Twins have going on, love the Lance Lynn signing to bloster the rotation. Logan Morrison is one of the most underrated signings of the off season. Solid core of position players in Mauer, Buxton, Dozier, and Sano. I think Minnesota is back in the playoffs in 2018.
3. Chicago White Sox: 76-86
Still rebuilding, but the Tigers and Royals are gonna be sooooo bad that the get to finish in 3rd by default. One of the best farm systems in all of baseball, expect the White Sox to be a winning ball club in 2019 and beyond.
4. Kansas City Royals: 68-94
The 2014-15 World Series heart of the roster is gone. No pitching. Sure they brought back Moustakas but I think he's a little overrated and a prime canidate to come back to earth in 2018. Expect the Royals to go back to their 2000's ways, 90+ losses in front of a 1/5 full Kaufman Stadium.
5. Detroit Tigers: 65-97
Other than Miggy (who could be finished, but I'm not willing to write off entirely after one down year) this team is a bunch of nobodies. Poor Ron Gardenhire, I'm sure he's happy to be managing again, but idk how happy you can be when you look at that depth chart. The glory days in Motown are OVER. Rebuild city.
American League West Champs: Houston Astros
1. Houston Astros: 105-57
Pretty much their entire World Series champion team is returning and they added Gerrit Cole and will have a full season of Justin Verlander. Sure they have question marks in the bullpen, but I wouldn't be shocked if they added an arm or two by the deadline. Barring injury this team should be even better than last season.
2. Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim: 87-75
They finally added some talent to help out Mike Trout! I expect the Angels and Twins to be the two biggest threats to get the second wild-card spot. They added Shohei Otani, who has been referred to as the Japanese Babe Ruth...let's wait and see about that. Love the additions of Cozart and Kinsler (even though he's getting up there). Starting pitching is not exactly a strength on this team, it wouldn't shock me if they ended up disappointing again, but for now I'm all about the Angels hype train.
3. Seattle Mariners: 83-79
Same old story, fake good team with a good line up and so-so starting pitching. Sad that Felix Hernandez may never get to pitch in October. With the Bills making the NFL playoffs this year the Mariners now hold the dubious title of longest playoff drought in all big 4 american sports. Expect the streak to continue.
4. Oakland Athletics: 77-85
I don't know much about the A's but I feel like they've been down for a few years, and are ready for that turnaround cycle. I've seen a few people pick them as a sneaky 2nd wild-card team. Literally know nobody on this team so it wouldn't be fair for me to say that's unlikely, so I won't.
5. Texas Rangers: 74-88
A team on the rebuild. Wouldn't be surprised to see Adrian Beltre traded to a contender to close out his career. One player on the Rangers I find absolutely fascinating is Joey Gallo. He's the poor man's Adam Dunn. Dude hit 40+ bombs last year with under 100 totals hits. Feast of famine like you read about, but in today's HR crazy analytics driven baseball, he can survive, for now.
MVP: Carlos Correa
The dude missed like two months last year and still hit 24 home runs and drove in 84. I think in a full season it'll be his time to shine in H-town.
Cy Young Award: Chris Sale
It was his award to win last season until he slowed down in the second half due to his slender frame. I think in 2018 the Sox find a way to manage his innings better so he can be who he was in the first half of 2017 all season long. I'll trade 300+ K's for an era in the mid 2's.
Rookie of the Year: 2B/SS Gleyber Torres New York Yankees
Totally not picking him just to jinx him. That would be childish.
P.S. Sweet name, Gleyber.
Manager of the Year: Alex Cora
1. Houston Astros 105-57
2. Cleveland Indians 100-62
3. Boston Red Sox 98-64
4. New York Yankees 95-67
5. Minnesota Twins 88-74
Wild Card Game:
(4) Yankees over (5) Twins
(4) Yankees over (1) Astros in 5
(3) Red Sox over (2) Indians in 4
(3) Red Sox over (4) Yankees in 7 (baseball desperately needs this)
ALCS MVP: David Price
Nationals over Red Sox in 6
MVP: Bryce Harper
I worked a 12 hour shift last night, and went to bed as soon as I got home so I just missed this story breaking cause I fell asleep around 7:30 am, but man talk about shitting news to wake up to at noon on a Thursday.
The day we as URI fans knew had been coming for years has finally arrived, Dan Hurley is spurning the University of Rhode Island for a bigger program. It fucking kills me that it's UCONN, I fucking haaaaaaaate UCONN and all things Connecticut. I really wish he just took the money from Pittsburgh. I could live with that, but losing him to UCONN is extra salt in the wound. I partly blame Kevin Ollie for this, if you were a better coach this would've never had to happen to us. I love Jim Calhoun for his antics but I can't stand that program. Part of it is jealously, because there is no reason for the fucking University of Connecticut in God damne Storrs, CT to be a basketball powerhouse (although they've been v bad lately). Part of it is just hating the state of Connecticut as a whole (it's a trash state), but man oh man this news stinks on ice. Gonna sting for a while.
IMO Dan Hurley is kind of a fraud here. After URI's blowout loss to Duke in the 2nd round of the NCAA Tournament claimed he could "give two craps" (sweet use of the word crap like an 11 year old) about other coaching vacancies. The lie detector shows that was a lie, as less than a week later he's headed to Storrs, CT to fill a coaching vacancy at the University of Connecticut.
He said he'd be willing to take less money if URI decided to invest in their program. TBH I figured they wouldn't, but to their credit if this offer that has been rumored is correct, then you can't help but think Hurley was full of shit when he said that.
That's a legit offer by URI. 2 million a year, nearly identical to Ed Cooley's contract at PC from a money standpoint. They were going to build a practice facility, pay assistants more and charter flights for away games. They offered everything he asked for. Hurley would talk about how this program is a family and how he wanted to build it into something special, then jumps ship right as we're getting there. Idk how factual that tweet is but if it's true then I really have to credit my university for going all in. I thought they'd just cheap out and let Hurley leave, but by the looks of it they did all they could to keep him.
IMO Hurley's legacy at URI is mixed. He did turn this program around. and I'll always appreciate that. URI went from irrelevant to a team that could've been playing the second weekend of the NCAA tournament. At the same time I feel like URI could've done a little more, some of that is on the players, but a lot imo is on the coaching. I'm not going to hold E.C. Matthews tearing his ACL against him because that would be lunacy, but 2015-16 turned into a lost season after he went down after a 2014-15 season where URI was a win or two away from making the big dance. It felt like for 3 years URI was always that hot pick to make the next step, but they never did. Then last season in 2016-17 they finally did, but they really almost blew it. That season was so strange, started the year out ranked, beat Cincy, then stumbled and nearly played themselves out of the tournament discussion. Luckily to their credit the Rams finished strong, winning out after the Fordham loss to win the A-10 tournament. But that team should've never been an 11 seed, and this year the Rams should've never been a 7. After winning 16 games in a row, after clinching the A-10 regular season title, which frankly doesn't mean shit, even though it was the first in program history that the Rams took the foot off the gas.
They went 2-3 to finish the regular season and lost the A-10 title game. They fell from from a potential 4 seed all the way to a 7, where they ended up matching up with Duke in the 2nd round and got absolutely embarrassed. Had this team gotten a better draw by finishing strong they're probably still playing tonight or tomorrow. I've said it many times, Hurley is a great recruiter, but not a great coach. He'd get all pissy, and his team's offenses never seemed to click. Don't get me wrong, I'm really bummed we're losing him because he was great at getting talent, but think most basketball people would agree his actual coaching was a tad overrated.
As for who replaces him I have no idea, I hope it's David Cox but we'll have to wait and see. One of my friends was saying he wanted Rick Pitino but I don't think that would ever happen. Better chance that URI football finishes with a winning record, which says all you need to know about URI football. What I really hope happens, but probably won't is that URI still invests in their program like they were willing to do for Hurley. Build a basketball-only practice facility, spend more $ on the program, charter flights like a real program. Don't allow losing Hurley to set this program back into the barren Jim Baron days. Build off the momentum of the last two seasons. Have fun getting your ass kicked by MY Wichita State Shockers, Cincy and Houston, Danny boy.
As of now many recruits and returning players say they're staying at URI. Let's see how that goes. Not holding my breath
Song of the Day March 22nd
Song: When Did Your Heart Go Missing?
Album: Calling The World
YOU'RE A FRAUD HURLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I saw this highlight last night and was absolutely blown away. What an athletic display of body control by Blake Griffin to hit DeAndre Drummond perfectly as he was falling to the hardwood. You don't see passes like this is the NBA v often, if ever. I might need to start blogging more highlights because this is a great way to do a filler blog.
More importantly it's an opportunity to explain how much I love poolball (pool basketball). Poolball is the greatest sport on earth. It combines water, shooting hoops, and dominating people physically. I am nowhere close to a great athlete, but in the water, really only in poolball, I shine bright like a diamond (diamond). There's nothing like the possibility of drowning while shooting hoops.
This type of falling pass to a dunk is my specialty in the pool. So next time you see an NBA player perform a maneuver such as this, just know that I have done it hundreds of time's on my friend's pools. Wish I had more (any) highlights of me to give as an example, guess you'll just have to invite me over this summer to see for yo selffff.
Actually,,, The Question Was "Which Cover Song Is Better Than The Original?" Not What's The Best Cover Song
A few days ago this tweet garnered a multitude of responses on twitter. Posing quote-tweet response questions like this is a great way to grow your #brand on twitter. I have tried many a time, and will continue to try to get one to go viral....but until then.
Anywho, the question was "What cover song is better than the original?"
But sadly, even the most handsome of thiccc boys sometimes can't follow simple instructions.
I've talked about how much I love cross-genre covers til the cows come home. Panic doing Starboy was awesome. Kings of Leon did a Selena Gomez cover. Post Malone performed All Apologies by Nirvana live. I think they're one of the coolest things in music. When an artist can put a completely different spin on a song. To me it's a great sign of respect, plus as they say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. As a music fan it's really cool (I need a better vocab but it's only the perfect word to use here) to get a deeper glance into what the artists you like to listen to .... listen to; if that makes sense? Perfect example I would've never guessed that Rhianna knew about Tame Impala, just because my small brain pictures them in two totally different worlds. Rhianna is an R & B sex God and Tame Impala is a psychedelic rock group from Australia. As someone with a self-proclaimed eclectic taste in music as a fan I really appreciate seeing musicians I admire admiring the works of artists you at first glance may think have nothing in common.
Before I get to the song I believe is the greatest cover of all time (in the sense that it blows the original out of the water) I am going to include some of my favorite covers. Didn't include a lot of classics because everybody gives those songs their shine. Although I am opening with one of the most well known covers of all time. When you start a blog you can do whatever you want, kapeesh?
Beatles: "Twist and Shout"
Original artist: The Isley Brothers
A low key wedding song staple, if you're one of these people who thinks the Beatles aren't good or are overrated you are an idiot. I love this song.
Reel Big Fish: "Take On Me"
Original artist: A-ha
RBF and ska in general were really big when I was in like kindergarten and kind of irrelevant once I was old enjoy to really get into music. They're a band who's catalog I don't know that extensively, but all the songs that I have heard by them I really enjoy, their rendition of the 80's one-hit wonder Take On Me is one of my personal favorites. V different from the original in a brassy way.
Rihanna: "Same Ol' Mistakes"
Original artist: Tame Impala (New Person, Same Old Mistakes)
I love Tame's original but Rhianna's 2016 version of the closing track to Tame Impala's 2015 album Currents "New Person, Same Old Mistakes" puts up a great fight against the original. Sounds really similar but also really different. Both are great. Rhianna making this song earned her sooooo many points in my book. Big for her.
The Killers: "The Bucket"
Original artist: Kings of Leon
The Bucket is the first Kings of Leon song I ever heard. I remember seeing it on MTV2 back in like 2005 when music videos on cable were still a thing. One band I like playing a song by a band that I love. Brandon Flowers does a great job here, and the rest of the band sounds pretty spot on to the KOL version.
Nirvana: "Lake of Fire" and "The Man Who Sold The World"
Original artist: Meat Puppets and David Bowie
I have a love-hate relationship with Nirvana. I used to get so mad that BRU (RIP) would play them what seemed like 5 times an hour, maybe if they mixed in some more current music they would still exist? Regardless, despite my feelings about Nirvana and whether or not they're overrated musically their MTV unplugged performance to me is the standout of any unplugged show. These two covers, along with their original "All Apologies" are the best from that legendary set in late 1993. "Man Who Sold The World" definitely gets more recognition, but I love "Lake of Fire" as well and think it deserves a spot here.
Metallica: Whiskey In The Jar
Original artist: The Dubliners
An Irish folk song that's been played by millions. Used to be really into Metallica when I was younger, and this song was a masterpiece then, and is now. James Hetfield's vocals here are the highlight imo.
Alien Ant Farm: "Smooth Criminal"
Original artist: Michael Jackson
Who would've guessed I'd have back-to-back blogs featuring Alien Ant Farm? God Bless the internet. This song came out when I was in 4th grade and I can vividly remember someone bringing this CD into class and thinking they were so cool for liking it too. The lead singer's hair always stood out to me. 4Also did not know this was a cover until my mom of all people brought that knowledge to my attention. It's AAF's most successful song which I feel like as an artist has to be sort of bittersweet that you're most known for a song that isn't even yours, but I mean the money is still green so whatever. I like this version wayyyyyyyyyyy better than MJ's.
Darius Rucker: "Wagon Wheel"
Original artist: Bob Dylan
This song will always have a special place in my heart as it reminds me of my first 21 summer (2013). Hootie fucking rocks, and I will always, always love this song. Makes me so happy whenever I hear it. I used to get pumped up like a reebok whenever it came on at a bar, and probably still would today.
The Black Keys: "Never Gonna Give You Up"
Original artist: Jerry Butler
Brothers is one of my favorite albums of all time. This is one of the best songs on the album. Maybe the most relatable song ever. Dan Auerbach's range vocally blows my mind. +
Now is where we get serious. Here are IMO three covers that are better than the original. These are my top 3 favorite covers of all time.
Mark Ronson and Amy Winehouse: "Valerie"
Original artist: The Zutons
This is one that I didn't even realize was a cover til years later. Who the fuck are the Zutons? IMO Amy Winehouse's best work. (RIP) What a voice she had. She was probably the least surprising member of the 27 club ever but it doesn't make it any less sad. What a talent. This song is just such a fun listen. Unlike the next two songs.
Pearl Jam: "Last Kiss"
Original Artist: Wayne Cochran
This song still gives me goosebumps every time I hear it. Eddie Vedder's passion in the lyrics are as people who write at buzzfeed say, everything. That "hold me darling just a little while" is incredible. Loving this song so much caused me to research it a few years back. The original was in a sub-genre called "teen tragedy song". So many kids were trying in the 50's and 60's that that actually became a popular type of music. V fucked up. Some Susie Q shit up in here. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teenage_tragedy_song
Johnny Cash: "Hurt"
Original artist: Nine Inch Nails
Let me ask you something?
In the Hangover 3 when Leslie Chow is performing Hurt at karoke is it the NIN version or Johnny Cash?
It's Johnny Cash.
This is the greatest cover song of all time and it's not even close. Goosebumps and tear city. Maybe the saddest song ever. The pure emotion in the song by Johnny Cash in the video and in the lyrics in his final months still can bring a tear to my eye this day. It's like he knows he's about to go and this song is just recapping his time on earth. Even Trent Reznor himself has gone as far as saying (paraphrasing) this isn't his song anymore, it's Johnny's. If this song doesn't get to you you're more dead than Johnny Cash himself. Hurt by Johnny Cash is without a doubt the greatest cover of all time. No exaggeration a million times better than the NIN original.
Song of the Day March 21st
Song: I Fall Apart
Artist: Post Malone
What I Learned In Las Vegas
Last weekend I went to Las Vegas for a dear friend of mine's bachelor party/ away for training for my other job depending on who you are reading this. Should you be in the latter this blog is purely a parody. I'll ask that you stop here.
Okay. Let's proceed.
Of the few flaws I have, I'd say not being well traveled is one of the biggest. It's really sad so many places on this planet haven't gotten to experience the doz man. In case you were wondering; my venmo is indeed open. I've lived in Rhode Island nearly my entire life, with a 2 year stint in lovely Jacksonville, Florida mixed in during middle school, and of course I lived in Nashville, TN for 45 minutes late last year. **insert audience sad groan sound here**
I went to Le Montréal with a few of the same people I went to Vegas with in June of 2012. I went on a cruise my senior year of HS in 2010, but spent most of the trip in the bathroom because I wasn't as into Dave Matthews Band back then as I am now, I did in fact drink the water.
Before last weekend the farthest west I had ever been was Milwaukee, Wisconsin when I visited a friend my freshmen year of college at Marquette. Besides the tension from going with a friend who's girlfriend I had just started sleeping with, eventually dated, then ruined my life, it was a great trip.
After spending four and a half days in Vegas/ training for National Grid I learned a few things. As a former/future educator I feel like it is my duty, as the great unrecognized blogger that I am to teach you, my loyal readers a thing or two about going to Las Vegas. Whether you've been to sin city or not, please heed/take headed of my knowledge to better enjoy your next trip out West. Although the list is numbered, these are in no particular order, just wanted it to be easier for you to add up all the things you learned from what I learned about Las Vegas/ NG training.
1. Have Your License Ready Because You're Going To Get ID'd For EVERYTHING
As a 26 year old I can't stand getting ID'D. It's such a fucking hassle, brother/sister.
I'm over getting ID'd for at least the next 10 years. Then when it happens I'll officially be in the "I'm flattered they think I'm this young" territory. Until then, fucking stop.
Getting ID'd was cool at first when I was 21. I could stick it to the bartender/liquor store employee that I am in fact of age. Now it's just one more thing to do, and if there's one thing I hate doing; it's things. I'm huge with a beard. If you think I'm under 21 that means you think I was born in 1997 or later. You really think my fat ass was born after Biggie got shot? Nah dude. I can vaguely remember watching Princess Diana car crash coverage so yeah I think I can get a bud light without you busting my balls to see my ID.
Part of me understands why they do it, mainly to cover their ass with kids trying to drink and gamble, which is cool, but it is just excessive AF. Any time I got a drink, I was ID'd. Literally every time. If fitbits counted how many times you reached for your wallet I would've hit the 10,000 step mark. I drank and paid for it nearly every time NBD. If you're watching someone gamble and not even partaking on the fun like a small baller it doesn't matter...still getting ID'd. If I had donated to any of the multiple bums I saw I would bet they'd ask me for ID too. I would suggest getting one of those cases that they give NFL season ticket holders to just put your license in to save time.
2. Locals Get To Do Shit For Cheaper
I feel like I didn't word that correctly, but after two years on the blog that shouldn't surprise you. This one isn't necessarily the funniest thing in the world, just something I found interesting and kind of nice of Las Vegas. At many locations in the heart of Vegas they have local rates for Nevada residents. I thought that was a nice gesture because they very easily could be like no fuck you we're gonna charge you $23 for a $15 burger too, but they don't. Claps for you Las Vegas. Worked out real well for us because we hung out with a couple dudes from Gansett who live in Vegas now.
3. Make Sure You Bring Comfortable Shoes
I fucked up, I took Emaka Ofakor and only brought one pair of sneakers (vans). Boy, oh boy did my feet pay the price. I went shopping and got some new gear for the trip, including the aforementioned vans. Big mistake by ole dozo. They weren't even that stylish and made my feet scream like Chester Bennington (RIPIP). Unless you're lucky enough to acquire a rascal scooter you're gonna be doing a lot of walking in Vegas. Do your dogs a favor and bring shoes that don't make you wish you were a dead guy, like Chester. I cannot stress enough the importance of wearing comfortable shoes while you're out exploring.
4. In-N-Out Burger is Totally Worth The Hype
I didn't take a lot of pictures of my trip, but one I did was the standard In-N-Out plate pic. I'm sure I'll instagram someday. I wrote about the best fast food back in 2016 apparently-today-is-nationalfastfoodday-im-here-to-get-the-debate-started-on-best-and-worst-fast-food-joints.html and did not include In-N-Out simply because I've never had it. If I were to update the list I think it'd earn the top spot. It did not disappoint. Animal Style fries strengthen my faith in the Lord. Plus it was relatively cheap for being in Vegas, so I bet had I been to a regular In-N-Out I bet it would've been even cheaper. Even though it's a small baller move, I'm never mad about saving money.
5. The West Coast Time Zone Fucking SUCKS
Between late nights from being there for a bachelor party, and waking up early to watch/gamble on college hoops sleep was not exactly a priority for the first few days. At first I thought I could just survive not sleeping for five days, but come Friday afternoon I was ready to take a 4 hour nap, which I did. Slept through the entire St. Bonnies game which made losing multiple bets on the game easier to swallow. The West Coast time zone just fucked everything up for me. You don't go out-out until like midnight, then when college basketball starts at 9 am you'll be lucky to get 3 hours of sleep since you need to get to the book early enough to get your bets in. I personally hated it, plus when they have the start times for the remaining games during the day in the corner of the screen you need to do math which is not something I signed up for. Idk about other people, but personally I felt like a real piece of shit being out after 4 am and thinking about how people back home are at work right now. Then when you go home you lose three hours. Not ideal!
6. I am NOT a Strip Club Guy
I knew this long before I went out west but this trip just solidified it for me. I am not a strip club guy. I love titties don't get me wrong, but I'm such a pussy that I can't even enjoy being there. Instead of just enjoying myself, staring at naked women I just can't help but think about how this girl got into her current predicament and it bums me out. Who didn't love you enough? What can I say I'm a romantic? I actually brought up how fucked up these girls live's must be and it really put a damper on the evening. I'm sorry, fellas!
Plus have you ever seen a vagina by itself? Not for me.
7. There is Nothing More Awkward Than Being in the Front Row of a Strip Club When People Aren't Tipping
One night at the titty bar a bunch of us had front row seats! Well let me tell you, you better have the ones flying like you're a Wright Brother or else you're going to be having a really uncomfortable time. My rule of thumb for tipping was whenever the girl did a cool acrobatic move on the pole, or removed an article of clothing I felt obligated to pay my respect in the form of $1 bills.
Well at one point there was a girl up and I don't want to be crass but she was fugly. She must've been hired on an equal opportunity basis because was not even in the same ball park as the other chicks. Not only that but her pole moves were disappointing to say the least. Maybe her dad owned the club? Who am I kidding she doesn't know her father, she's a stripper! I could deal with a gross girl who could do some cool flips and stuff, but this girl was just sad. Stay in school!
She was not getting much love from me and my friends . As a former delivery driver, I felt guilty. I used to work for tips so I know how it goes. I haaaaaaaaated getting stiffed, and all I did was drive and jam out to some music. You're literally showing me your vagina. Even if it was fowl the least I could do was throw a few ones for the jesture, which I did just because I felt bad. Sure she asks us what was wrong, did she suck (which she did) but that only influenced me a little bit.
8. Being In a Sports Book During the End of a Game Is Incredible
I really am bummed out we didn't get to watch the UMBC upset in a sportsbook, but we did see plenty of games and their spreads come down to the wire. We were in a restaurant outside the book when Seton Hall hit a "meaningless" three pointer to cover and watching the reactions live were priceless. One of the more popular bets on the weekend were "first 15" which is simply where you bet on which team will score 15 points first. Those were some of the most exhilarating bets of the weekend even though I'm pretty sure I went like 0-8 on them.
9. I Love Redheads
After winning bets, nothing made me more excited than coming across a redhead, which couldn't happen enough IMO. Ask my friends, I think I said I fucking love red heads 197 times. Boy, I had no idea I was so into redheads until this trip, but they are now my thing. I will not sleep (except at night) until I find a redhead to be mine. They're delightful and rare and I am extremely attracted to them. If you're a ginger and are reading this, sup? They make the baby hummingbird in my pants flip its wings. That's a boner reference for those not following along. I followed a British red head out of my hotel (not in a creepy way, just pure happenstance) and man let me tell you, if I wasn't terrified to approach women I think she could've been the one.
11. Beer cost upwards of $15 at a bar
I knew Vegas was going to be expensive, but jeez man two beers for the price of a 30 rack after you just got a week's worth of my salary on the roulette wheel? Brutal.
12. Make Sure To Take Pictures
I didn't wanna get my balls busted by my friends for taking pics, and also didn't wanna be on my phone the whole time but I literally have zero pictures from the trip. We have one group photo. If you saw my snap/insta story you saw essentially every photo I took while in Vegas. One day we'll all be dead and have no phones to remember our trip to Vegas. How sad?
13. Don't Break Bro Code