Holy shit, it actually happened...Cam Newton is a New England Patriot! I did not believe it at first.
I recently saw a post on instagram showing the Patriots as the betting favorites to land Cam Newton's services as an NFL quarterback. I didn't understand that because I saw another post on instagram showing them (the Pats) as the NFL's most cash strapped franchise with less cap space than Kevin Mench in a size 7 (IYKYK).
Since I like about 900 posts every two hours and do not want to waste valuable time searching my "posts you've liked" tab to include those somewhat unnecessary graphics, here's a tweet proving I've been about this move for a minute (and that I do admit that I'm wrong when I am; I WAS WRONG..I am not the Patriots QB and Cam is!)
After a quick google search it looks like Cam can earn up to 7.5 million bucks on this deal. While I totally get Cam being banged up the last two years hurts his value; it's crazy to me he has to sign a league minimum deal at this point in his career. Meanwhile "up and comer" Taysom Hill and his 19 career pass attempts got 16 million guaranteed. Same with Jameis getting a million bucks. It ain't right!
I'll be the first to admit I have gotten on Cam in the past; most notably after his famous business decision in Super Bowl 50. But I like Cam, I called into WEEI to defend him potentially wanting to grow up hair out like 9 years ago pre-DOL (Mr. Blue Jean Friday didn't want his QB to grow out his hair). I don't get the hieroglyphic IG captions, but who fucking cares? It's fun to make fun of online, but I think the last few months have shown us what is really worth getting worked up about (probably not though).
This is a textbook low risk, high reward. project deal the Patriots have been famous for making the last twenty years. They don't always work out, but when they do it's usually pretty cool.
It could just be the reefer and Bud Light Seltzer's talking, but it seems like it's been an awfully long time since one of these types of moves really paid off. Does Revis count? He didn't really have any 'character" issues that I can remember,
I probably am forgetting someone, but for the sake of argument... people twisted the Patriots lack of road playoff success from 2007-2017 prior to the 2018 AFC Championship game too. It was all about about how it's been a while since the Patriots won a road playoff game (because they have few opportunities since they usually have home field advantage). They hadn't won since the 06 Divisional Round in San Diego (sadly, something no longer possible). Sure, Cam missed almost all of last season and ended 2018 with an 8 game losing streak..this is still Cam Newton. The man is an absolute beast.
For a little while I thought the Patriots might tank to get Trevor Lawrence, but I've watched enough Patriots games and NFL Films footage on youtube to know how competitive Bill Belichick is and how much he respects the history of the game. He hasn't had a losing season since 2000. It's 2020. Tom Landry holds the record for consecutive winning seasons with 20. I know Bill claims he doesn't care about individual awards/stats, but if there was ever one that really embodied what a team is all about it's that one. You really think Belichick is going to get this close and tank?
Cam has been banged up and definitely could not make it through the season, but you know what? You could theoretically slip, hit your hit your head and be die before you finish reading this blog. Life is crazy and bigger than a game. Jarrett Stidham may be the guy, but I saw as hell know Brian Hoyer (no disrespect) is not. When healthy, Cam is a top 10 QB in the NFL. He broke Steve Grogran's single season QB rushing TD record as a rookie AND basically carried Auburn to a Natty in his one season there. The Patriots and their lack of studs and big name super stars (people outside of New England do not love Edelman and James White the way we do) could be the perfect prove it situation for one Cameron Jerrel Newton. I am soooo pumped to run the Dozo System with Cam in Madden 21. Best case the man who is 2-0 vs. Tom Brady gets to 3-0 against the Bucs in the Super Bowl, worst case he's a total bust and it's back to Stidham/a potential tank. To quote myself when offered free bacon on my sandwich yesterday "I'm about it". In Bill We Trust!!!
P.S. I will not allow any lame as pun BS with our new QB.
News is coming out that Chris Godwin didn't really want to give Tom Brady his #12 jersey.
“I have been (wearing No. 12) since high school and it means a lot to me,” he said. “At first it bothered me a little bit, it was kind of getting at me because it is part of my identity, but when the GOAT comes calling you kind of concede to him. Like I said, hopefully I can get a ring or two or three out of that. I was more than happy to do it. I have a new persona for me, 1-4. We’re going to move forward and make something special with it.”
The following quote is from a press release on Buccaneers.com on April 1st.
"Obviously, if he doesn't want it or isn't making a big deal about it, I'm definitely going to keep it," said Godwin. "But we'll see how that goes. I think just out of respect for what he's done, what he's accomplished, just kind of the career he's built for himself…you've got to kind of lean into that respect, you know?"
The way I see it Godwin was pressured by a powerful white man to give up a part of his identity. Very not cool! Was Godwin at least compensated or did Brady just insinuate if you want the ball you're going to do this??? Has Brady been bested by Eli Manning yet again?
Everybody knows I'm a huge number guy. I am nasty at math when it's truly just numbers and I'm really good at remembering years/numbers. Here's a quick flex with no resources. Moses Malone once said that the 1983 76ers would go "fo', fo', fo'" in the playoffs (it was really fo', five, fo'). Tommy Tutone's Jenny/867-5309 peaked at #4 in 1982; Coach Herman Boone had eight brothers and sisters (although 12 sounds better).
I played four years of high school football so I know a thing or two about caring too much about jersey numbers; everybody knows how attached I was to the 5-8. For some, your number is a part of you on the field/court/ice/etc. It really is part of your personal identity. Sure there's some people who are more focused on what they're doing while wearing that number, but I am big believer in....you tell 'em Deion!
Tom Brady claims going to Tampa is a "football move". I'm not so sure. Does he want to win a Super Bowl or sling t-shirts?
Brady claimed his only request when joining the Bucs was his teammates phone numbers. We already know that's not true since he basically made the Gronk trade happen.
Obviously I know Brady has his whole TB12 brand, so I get wanting to keep it intact as he carpet bags in Tampa;;;;; BUT you know that a lot of athletes change numbers when they switch teams, right?
Brady hasn't even always been TB12!
The way I see it, if Brady really cared about winning and being the "Goat" he'd let his breakout WR stay who he is! You showed up to his house and took his bed, Tom you privileged heart-breaker. You should've left TB12 in New England with your dignity. I'm sorry, Chris you deserve better and if the Patriots knew how to draft maybe none of this ever even happens?
The minute Tom Brady retires I can retire this act, but sorry I'm not going to be rooting the Bucs (unless they're part of a bet).
Jenny Slate aka Mona-Lisa Saperstein aka a featured player of the 2009-10 SNL cast aka in this situation Missy in Big Mouth is leaving Big Mouth. Slate announced the move on this instagram post linked directly below.
I love Big Mouth, but more importantly I am all about the Black Lives Matter movement. Sorry it took me so long. I am anti-police brutality AF, I want freedom and equality for all people. We need to reinvest in the community, health care and education. This country has to change if it wants to last another 300 years. Idk if I've ever put this on the blog, but I've told my friends/family/students a million times that the Roman Empire lasted 2000 years before it fell...The United States is only 243...we are a baby and sadly babies die all the time.
That being said, I'm sorry but I think shit like this is a little overboard. Pander city population Jenny Slate (and Kristen Bell). I hate that I'm even a little bit scared to have this take, but that was some of the most self righteous shit I've ever read. It's like celebrities are having a pissing contest with who can be more fake sorry for social media pats on the back.
I agree that black people deserve more opportunities, but to me this just seems disingenuous and pandering. It's a fucking cartoon. You're Jenny Slate on a show with hormone monsters and living sex pillows. There is real institutional racism in this country like one polling place for 600,000 people or property values influencing school budgets. Voicing a MIXED character is not the same. I feel like people just say anything that involves different races is racist because people are too lazy/stupid to think.
Now I could be wrong here and if you think so, I'd love to have an adult conversation about the topic instead of just yelling insults at each other, but where do we draw the line? I'm all for getting rid of Aunt Jemina. This is not the same as blackface. It's a fucking cartoon. Are there any black people who voice non-black characters? Is that okay? Should black cartoon characters only be drawn by black people? Should women not voice male characters and vice-versa? Do all people really need to be exactly who they're depicting?
The character is Jewish and you're Jewish. Aren't you erasing Jewish people by leaving the show? Last time I checked your people haven't exactly gotten a fair shake either.
I want things to just and for the world to not fucking end. Everybody knows I'm a do the right thing guy. Like who do you think you are to act like what you're doing is the same as redlining or interracial marriage being illegal until like 1992 (that's a joke to show how ridiculous it was that interracial marriage was illegal not that long ago...the real year was 1967). While there certainly is an argument to be made this is in a way the right thing since they want to give the job to a black person, but to me it seems pandering and self righteous AF. Here, fill-in black actress, you can have my scraps for season 5 when this will probably be over before season 7. IMO this move doesn't fix anything, it's just an act of self-conalingus. Look at me. I'm sorry too! We all are lady, but you don't have to do this. If you want to make a difference why don't you donate to an inner city school so students can have a way out that isn't sports or entertainment?
I thought GameStop was going out of business? Now in my research I'm seeing conflicting reports?! What the hell's going on out there? **Lombardi voice** I'm not a business guy, but I'm pretty sure Chapter 11 is not something you want to see.
I'll be honest. I'm rooting for their demise. I want to see GameStop go down like Jonah Hill in the opening scene of The Sitter. That place is the worst. Insert joke about GameStop offering you pennies on the dollar for a trade here.
Whether Gamestop goes the way of Blockbuster or somehow survives from a online sales boost thanks to a worldwide pandemic one thing that cannot be debated is the cops who killed Breonna Taylor are still at large in plain sight. That my friend is a stone cold fact.
A revolution is not a one week trend. These men should be in jail! #JusticeforBreonna.
Good afternoon to the loyal readers of DOL,
First off, I love you. Do you know that? I need you to know that. You did nothing wrong and this is not your fault. I love writing for you on DOL (almost) every (week) day, but things are just gonna be a little different around here for the time-being, but .ya know what? You could make the argument that this new arrangement is gonna be even better! Please allow me to beat around the bush instead of just getting out there and saying the H word.
This whole corona situation has been an absolute shit show from Hell with nearly a half million deaths world wide, millions out of work, and more rumors circulating than a high school cafeteria. I think everybody is depressed rn. March 12th feels like it was at least 8 years ago. I'm pretty sure I ate #43Burgers in 2013. Time has ceased to exist until further notice.
I've tried to make the best out of a bad situation. My full-time job while I was out of work and sheltering at home was blogging and growing the DOL brand. I wanted to use this time to my advantage. Since I lost my job, applied and was approved for unemployment I figured I was doing the right thing.
Before C I was hustling my flat ass off, ya boi was working full-time as a long-term sub and transporting people in the backseat of my 2007 Pontiac Grand Prix to various locations across the state of Rhode Island a̶n̶d̶ ̶P̶r̶o̶v̶i̶d̶e̶n̶c̶e̶ ̶P̶l̶a̶n̶t̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶s̶ at night and on the weekends. I was writing and making content in my spare time, but unable to put in the amount of time I wanted to. In a weird way this whole situation was a blessing in disguise from a writing stand point. It gave me an excuse to solely focus on writing. Then after about a month, I stopped getting unemployment. It took nearly two months for the situation figured out and tbh it still isn't fully settled. I may drop a video about the whole situation, but since I'm still technically appealing I'll let you use your imagination here.
What I can tell you is since I was deemed ineligible for UE, I gotta get back to work. With "school" now over for the summer, that means one thing; time to mask up and get back behind the wheel. That's exactly what I did this weekend. I drove like another Ryan.
While I would absolute love to sit at home and blog all day, it does not pay the bills #yet. I gotta make money so I can live my life and put it on doz on LIFE. I'd love to be able to purchase a real camera so I can do more videos. My friend Ty and I have been in discussions about getting a podcast started for months. Big things are in store, but it means for a few weeks I may be back on my sporadic swag.
I watched Rocketman a few weeks ago and have had Still Standing stuck in my head ever since, talk about a perfect time to drop the Elton bomb.
My biggest concerns about having to uber to survive this summer (until #HiredDozo is a reality) were safety and profits. I'm not trying to catch the Rona, I would love to avoid it at all costs..driving for Uber definitely elevates my risks. Speaking of costs, I was worried about the cost of rides being low due to a lack of demand since there's so much less going on due to covid restrictions.
After this weekend it's evidently obvious that Corona and Cancel Culture will not take down summer 2020.
Apparently Uber drivers were eligbile for UE this entire time. So if I had just been a driver and not a sub I would've made like 10K the last three months. So basically, this is a long winded way of saying, I'm going to be working a lot (21 Savage voice) to take advantage of this easy ass uber money. Since they're sucking off Uncle Sam's wein, I will carry the load while they're gone. I LOVE driving for uber when it's surging. I'll stay out until they have to scrape me out of my 2007 Pontiac Grand Prix.
I don't know what the future looks like, I could end up having days where I write five blogs, I'm still trying to master the Weebly app, but it is more flawed the timeline of the Entourage movie. For the next few weeks I may be a little busy trying to stack this bread. Do not worry, that's why I'm sitting you down now so you don't hear rumors from the detractors. I feel like I've really been hitting my stride as a writer, but I gotta be able to pay my bills and keep the lights on until Davey Pageviews comes a callin'. I'm still active AF on social, so be sure to follow @dozonlife on instagram and twitter. Dozo loves you. I'm still going to blog, just (likely) not as much. I just want people to understand why there may not be as much DOL to consume for the next month or so.
P.S. If you need some Dozo in your life, be sure to check out what I was able to create during Corona.
You never know what you're going to see when you open insta. If you're me, when I'm on my personal IG where I follow like 2,000 accounts 'cause I don't care about the ratio (unlike on @dozonlife; plz follow) there's a great chance it's either a meme, sports shit or a chick in a bikini...I'm sorry, Manscaped sales rep.
Because of rule of three, I didn't mention music. I follow a lot music related accounts as well. It's how I stay up to date the artists I like. It's a very easy way to do so, I highly recommend.
So of course, sometimes when I open up personal IG there's a chance it could be music related content. This blog is in reference to one of those times.
It looks like HAIM just dropped a new song "Gasoline" today via a previously mentioned famous photography application. "Gasoline" is the 4th (or 8th depending on your stance on bonus tracks) song released from the band's third album Women in Music Pt. III.
I don't blindly like all songs by artists IWF, so I can be straight up like Paula Abdul and later J. Cole (who I believe is currently in time out?) when I say I love this shiiit; way more than "Summer Girl". "I can't get past what I'm sad about" woahhhh. Elite story telling by the Haim sisters yet again in Gasoline. I would love for Este to rip off my boots in the passenger seat.
I am always so impressed when a musician plays drums and sings at the same time. It blows my simple mind (classic self deprecation; I once got a 98 on a Sociology exam in college). Danielle fucking KILLED IT. I've seen her pound the skins IRL, but she's usually playing guitar so this Phil Collins/Sheila E/Don Henley/Karen Carpenter swag is pretty bad ass. Coordination for days!
Women in Music Pt. III comes out in its entirety next Friday (same day as Khruagbin's Mordechai) so there are plenty of options out there for a potential song of the summer. Omg my two favorite sexy bassists (Thundercat should've waited! lol)
albums are coming out on the same day #heartemoji. I can't wait for the 26th!!!
P.S. There's more Danielle drumming here!
If you've been keeping up with DOL since the beginning, you know I am fascinated by cults and conspiracies. I watched all of Waco in one day and know more about Jonestown than the average person knows about their spouse. Does the name Leo Ryan mean ANYTHING to you? Cause it sure as shit does to me. R.I.P.
Recently, I referenced how history seems to be repeating itself. In that blog, I didn't even scratch the surface of parallels between yesterday (100ish years ago) and today. For example I didn't mention: Yellow Journalism and Fake News; social media and propaganda; xenophobia and our current administration. I could go on, but you know; rule of three.
ICYMI: The location for Trump's first campaign rally in three months is Tulsa, Oklahoma. Of all places in this country he picked Tusla. Fantastic timing to have 20,000 people inside an arena!!!
"Oklahoma marked its largest single-day increase in coronavirus cases this week, reporting 228 new cases Tuesday, and many of the new cases are attributable to Tulsa County, the rally site."
That's just the tip of the scumbag iceberg! With all the recently amplified racial tensions in this sooo great nation he picks Tulsa AND June 19th (Juneteenth) as the original date?? At the VERY least that is an insensitive ass coincidence. Being a conspiracy guy, I don't think it was..
As is tradition at campaign rally's, some people broke into song. This Trump 2020 red state Camp Rock propaganda song already has millions of views across the internet in less than a day.
Hyperbole is a friend of mine, but I have easily watched this video two dozen times. I am mesmerized by everything in this song/video. Dad must spend at least $1,200 a week on voice lessons. I want to hate it so badly, but as the self-proclaimed music man I have to admit there is some talent here. This could get Nancy Pelosi humming "Trump 20-20". That is why propaganda works, people! One could make the argument that John Wayne Gacy was a talented clown too, but there's no denying these folks can harmonize.
Similarly to how rewatching a movie or tv show can cause you to pick up on things you missed; every time I rewatch this performance I notice something else. There is so much going on in this terribly troubling tune.
Let's start with Dad. I didn't know they made white pants in 40x28. I feel soooo bad for this clearly in the closet, self-hating gay guy. I know the definition of a man is evolving, but come on. This dude is more flamboyant than if Carson Kressley and JVN procreated (if only we could be so lucky). Who are you trying to fool with your blu-tooth purse?
Here are a few more observations:
The fit of these hats SCREAM straight out of a gas station.
Mom is giving off serious "I don't want to be here" slash "I'm not singing every word because my husband won't let me" vibes.
Why doesn't this chick get the same shirt? Is she part of the family or did she just jump in at the sign of people promoting the removal of human rights for the LGBTQ community?
Maybe I'm grasping at straws, but when I watched this last night all I could think about was how big this guitar was in relation to the front woman who looks like Kaitlin Bennett's cousin-sister. HYPHEN NOT SLASH.
What is going on with the people out of frame? I think there's at least two and one is potentially a small child.
If you've gotten this far and are unfamiliar with the term propaganda, my bad for assuming you went to high school.
While catchy, I'd say insinuating that the U.S. is "giving away freedom" if Trump isn't re-elected and that his re-election would "Keep America Great" falls into the category of propaganda. If it's time to pray, maybe you could use President Trump's favorite bible verse to start? To be fair, propaganda isn't always bad. Rosie the Riveter is technically propaganda and did wonders for women (until the boys came back from overseas).
However most of the time propaganda was in laymen terms "not ideal". It's "art" that features emotional manipulation and doesn't didn't tell the entire story. Imagine being called a Nazi because you didn't carpool?
Like I said; not ideal!
While this one isn't as offensive, it still gave the boys false hope! (which in many ways is worse...imagine dying at war just because you might get some hairy 1940's box?)
Propaganda comes in many shapes and sizes. It's not just posters, music can be propaganda too. Again, this song low key slaps...but it also makes you wanna slap yourself in the face for even thinking about singing along. In a strange time where nothing makes much sense, we cannot let this become the song of the summer! Here are a few other suggestions for song of the summer to end this blog.
This is going to be a chose your own adventure blog. Do I really need some lame opening about how messed up life is right now or can I just jump in? If you would prefer some foreplay before I fuck you with 4 inches of truth just keep reading. If you're a "just finish already" type of person, scroll until it's no longer italicized.
Life is so crazy, amirite??!?
It's wild how during an election year we've had a pandemic and the beginning of a revolution; really makes you wonder like Maroon 5. Much like September 11th, 2001; life will never be the same as it was before (the pandemic).
Throughout pandemic life there has been so much information spreading. #vagueaf. It's important to make sure the stats and data you use are accurate. In the death of civil discourse and bipartisanship it's important to try and stay somewhat level. People can manipulate numbers to tell different stories.
When I was in college, all we talked about in history class was reliable vs unreliable sources. Although I firmly disagree with the status of Wikipedia as an illegitimate source, when dealing with anything that has a sense of seriousness I try to make sure my stuff is legit.
Now it's not easy in all situations; I'll agree there are some arguments that are simply right vs. wrong (For fun, I'll let you think of an example). However! We are never going to get anywhere as a society if we just surround ourselves with like minded people are don't have difficult conversations. Give a little, like Maggie Rogers OR Supertramp. Don't pull an Elle Duncan and be afraid to go on the Kirk Minihane show.
I have mentioned this IRL, but I may have glossed over it on DOL, so here I go....My friends and I used to be much more of ass holes to each other, but at least we were real. I'm glad we've matured, but I miss when would call each other out for our bullshit. That's how you know deep down someone cares. Now as we've gotten older, people are less confrontational...it's good most of the time, but sometimes you need to be real and talk a little shit to your friend for their benefit.
For some reason saying that Black Lives Matter and that police brutality should stop are radical political statements. How tf is that political? Sorry I believe in equality. Mad at me! Yes, all lives matter, but that isn't true with the way the game is currently played.
You may hear things like "what about black on black crime?", "well actually, cops kill more white people a year" (like that somehow is supposed to make everybody feel better?) or "if he/she didn't put themselves in that situation, it wouldn't have happened".
The simple fact is this; black and Hispanic people are killed by police at much higher rate than white people and I have data to prove that.
When you simply break down the percentages of different racial backgrounds of the U.S. population vs. percentages of different racial backgrounds of people killed by police officers; both black and Hispanic people are killed at significantly higher rates than white people...even if more total white people are killed by the cops.
Cops shouldn't be killing anybody unless it's an absolute last resort. Unfortunately some Minnesota cops don't know what "suffocating, no breathing" means, but I digress. The whole debate on lethal force is where things get incredibly gray. I understand cops have a dangerous job and sometimes they are acting in self defense, but I think stats and social media have shown us there are countless instances where it's just bad ole fashion racism. Having on a hoodie or being intoxicated shouldn't be grounds for murder. We need a complete reform.
I think the idea of defunding the police is a good one. They should have to worry about budgets just like everybody else. To paraphrase Chris Rock, "if bullets cost $5,000 each people would really think twice before shooting someone". As someone with experience in education, I've had to buy my own fucking paper to print at schools before. How many cops had to buy their own bullets?
The problem is the chant/hashtag "#defundthepolice". People are fucking stupid, especially rac..I mean southern people. When you have some blanket statement like that of course people are going to think you mean abolish the police. Nuance no longer exists and hasn't for some time. I may lean left, but not that left. I think the idea of abolishing the police is straight lunacy and never going to happen. It's like a middle schooler asking their parents for a 4:00 AM curfew.
We need law and order, but it needs to be more just for all people. Racist cops need to be exposed and removed. I am pro good cop, most cops I personally know are good people. We need more cops with compassion. The way cops are trained needs to be altered.
We probably should focus more on mental health, education and interventions to stop people from becoming criminals at young age instead of spending far more money/resources on imprisoning people for petty crimes and creating poor relationships between all involved parties. (side note; If you have HBO and haven't seen BlacKkKlansman I cannot recommend it enough)
Now that we've gotten the heaviest lifting out of the way let's focus on America's Pastime; baseball.
I have blogged about the sport hundreds of times on DOL. Ironically, today is the 10 year anniversary of my first game at Fenway Park.
My scorn towards the organization I spent nearly 20 years supporting has made it much less difficult to shed a tear for MLB. Labor "negotiations" between the owners and players have been a disgrace. These owners care more about profits than the product on the field.
When John Henry decided trading Mookie Betts was a better decision than paying him what he's worth that was the straw that broke Ole Dozo's tinfoil back. I've blogged it before, but I could put up with the bullshit that came with being a Red Sox fan, as long as they kept the payroll high and prioritized winning. Trading away the 2nd best player in baseball for scumbag Alex Verdugo does not prioritize winning IMO.
Any who, the Mookie situation makes it much easier for me to sit back and watch greed destroy the game I loved.
Corona has taught me that while I love sports, I certainly can find other stuff to keep me entertained. Baseball was awesome for the last 20 years, but you know what? I once was excited by a VHS tape being orange instead of black. Pokemon was awesome too. I once spent hours in line for a Beanie Baby. People's taste change overtime. I used to like Big Bang Theory when it first came out. (if you never read another DOL blog, I will understand)
Baseball is alienating both its fans on the fringe and diehards that had just had enough of the complete lack of foresight for innovation and disregarding young fans.
If you know anything about the state of American sports prior to the NFL-AFL merger in 1966 then you know there's tons of stories/evidence about how the big three sports in the U.S. used to be baseball, horse racing and boxing for like 50 years.
Let's fast forward to 2020. Two of the three are basically already dead and baseball is on its deathbed. Corona may be strong male nurse with a pillow that puts her out of her misery. The average baseball fan is almost 60. The only people who care about horse racing are degenerate gamblers and 4 foot tall Hispanic dudes who are really more concerned with staying alive than the race itself. Outside of Tony Padilla how many boxers can you name?
Baseball fans will talk about how Mike Trout can walk down the street without getting recognized like that's a good thing. Look at this chart and tell me that it's a good thing the best baseball players of arguably the last 30 years is less famous than Andy Dick.
Baseball had the chance to be the first sport back during C (a fantastic opportunity to grow the game) and now the entire 2020 season is up in the air.
Sure, the timing of baseball's suicide mixed with my Red Sox renouncing makes me feel like a freshly divorced wife watching her ex husband absolutely implode, but not that long ago there was a time I would have done ANYTHING to protect the game I love. I would defend this boring ass game til I was blue in the face. Now I'm burning pictures like Taylor Swift.
I grew up in Rhode Island during a time period where the Red Sox won FOUR World Series. You would think that all of New England would have Red Sox fever? Not even a little bit. I know in my circle, most people just don't care about baseball. When I was in college and the Red Sox won the World Series bars weren't super busy. As a baseball fan, I hated it.
Some may read this blog and think did this guy really compare police brutality/the disproportionate numbers of deaths of minorities and white people via the police to the slow death of baseball as a relevant American sport? You bet your likely-much-lighter-than-the-rest-of-your-skin-ass I did.
Of course the lives of human beings are more important than a game, I shouldn't even have to waste my time saying that, but the point is both ugly stats that I shared are going to continue if things stay the same. This isn't like global warming, we aren't too late. Things can keep getting better like the Queer Eye theme song. We need police reform, NOT a complete abolishment of the police. We need to keep the tough discussions alive and hold the MURDERERS of Breonna Taylor and countless other innocent people accountable.
Baseball will die if it keeps neglecting young fans and the ones they already have. Get a deal done, OWNERS. Baseball is at a cross roads (like America). I don't remember what went down in '94, but between baseball's history of neglecting the players who built up the game, the Astros cheating scandal, and labor disputes because scumbag billionaires are trying to fuck over the players.....with twitch, a million different streaming services, basketball and football being more entertaining, live music, sex if you're lucky, instagram, going for a hike, baking and many other more entertaining options, baseball cannot afford to fuck this up. To go completely full circle, if the United States of America truly wants to be the greatest country in the world then neither can they.
MLB followed suit and made a #BlackLivesMatter video very similar to the one NFL players released last week.
Seeing Mookie's face here breaks my heart. I try to avoid him at all costs. Legitimately just seeing him or thinking about him gets me infuriated and depressed at the same time. Trading him away will be the biggest mistake the Red Sox ever made (after Babe Ruth) unless, like I've said previously...this was a long con to pull a Chapman/Yankees situation.
Throwing up is a lot like taking a dump; sometimes it can be an incredibly enjoyable experience while other instances may have you in fear for your life.
During rona there has been a rise in DIY remedies and fixes. People are getting crafty; making homemade masks out of old bed sheets, reviving the bowl cut and using bleach/vodka to make hand sanitizer. When you're stuck inside your house with limited supplies sometimes you have to improvise or call an audible.
We all know that the easiest way to induce vomiting is with ipecac, but sadly it may not be readily available in all households.
Maybe you read the graphic that started this blog and fell into the category of having no gag reflex? Have no fear, Ole Dozo is here. As a self-proclaimed man of the people I am here to help. Whether you accidentally consumed some poison or aren't feeling so confident about your appearance; Ole Dozo has your back.
Should you be in situation where vomiting is paramount to stay alive/fit into those pants there is another solution. If you have ties to New England one glance at this should do the trick. A NSFW order is in place.
Now of course, it won't work for everybody; similarly to how some people can finger blast their throat and still be dry as sandpaper. I'm generalizing here, but for the majority of the population in five and half states this should do the trick. I'm sorry I subjected you to that. I know how often people come into situations where vomiting may save their life. I'm just trying to help. You can always reach poison control at 800-222-1222.
P.S. This should work too.
The Houston-based trio, Khraungbin has quickly climbed up the charts of my heart ever since I dove head first into their catalog last year. Like most things in life, I was a little late to them, but I have since made up for lost time. Ever since I really started listening to these three, I've been hooked like John Popper. Their first album; The Universe Smiles Upon You is one of the few things I can listen to while blogging. (Ya boi cannot think and get through his process when there's lyrics).
Khru's forthcoming album Mordechai is set for release on June 26th. In preparation, they've already released two videos; both have been blogged on DOL! If you're slick you may have already noticed that I linked Time (You and I) in the last paragraph and this is where the more somber So We Don't Forget will get attached. Today (June 16th, 2020) they released a third video from Mordechai "Pelota"; it's animated and in Spanish!
Khruangbin continues to be the United Nations of psych-funk-groove tunes with so many different sounds and influences from across the globe. "Pelota" is entirely in Spanish and the video has some serious Japanese animation vibes mixed with acid (which originated in Switzerland) going on. If you haven't already googled translated Pelota, allow me to tell you it means "ball".
While I have next to no idea what Laura Lee is singing in this track, it passes the groove test. I can attempt to dance to this. That's all a groove needs; people (me) could theoretically dance to this if they had any rhythm.
I've definitely been one of those "how can you like a song that isn't in English? .... you can't even understand it" douches before, but as I continue to grow into a better man I've learned that songs like this or that show that a great song is about so much more than simply the lyrics. Obviously they matter, but good music is good music (how profound!). 10 days until Mordechai!
P.S. I'm in love with Laura Lee and if you need further explanation why this should help.