Two high school state championships. Two NCAA championships. Olympic Gold medalist. 11 NBA titles in 13 seasons, with the last two coming as a player-coach (and the first black head coach in NBA history). The greatest champion in the history of North American sports, Bill Russell, has passed away at 88 years old.
Death is almost always sad, but when you look at someone who was 88 years old and accomplished what he did on and off the court, it is truly a time to celebrate the incredible life of William Fenton Russell. There will be plenty of mourning but talk about squeezing everything you can out of the human experience. That's the life and legacy of Bill Russell. He was beloved by millions.
There are the ridiculous stats like 11 championships in 13 seasons, which will never be replicated. Obviously, Russell was a product of his era with only eight teams and fewer playoff rounds, but they'll never be another winner like Russell. 21-0 in elimination games; an absolutely absurd statistic.
Unfortunately, as a product of his era, Russell lived through Jim Crow and unspeakable racism during his lifetime, especially in his playing days. What Russell and millions of other Americans dealt with/are still dealing with today is disgusting. This story from his daughter shines a light on the horrors her father experienced during his playing career.
Because of this, understandably, Russell had a "complicated" relationship with Boston fans for decades. It sucks, but it's part of history, and people need to remember the truth and learn from it. When Russell's #6 was initially retired in 1972, it wasn't done in front of a packed arena, but instead a private ceremony in front of a few former teammates, then C's coach (and former teammate) Tommy Heinsohn, and of course Red Auerbach before a Sunday game against the New York Knicks.
Bill Russell wasn't just a champion, he was basketball royalty and an advocate for social justice and equality. He was a part of the Cleveland Summitt in 1967 to support Muhammad Ali's decision to refuse being drafted into the Vietnam War.
Martin Luther King, Jr. wanted Bill Russell on the stage with him during his "I Have a Dream" speech, but he refused and watched from the audience in fear of upstaging the Reverend.
As a basketball player, until Michael Jordan, many considered Bill Russell the best there ever was. He was an 11 time NBA champion, 5 time MVP, 12 time All-Star, 4 time rebounding leader. Russell's just one of four players to make the NBA's 25th, 35th, 50th and 75th anniversary all-time teams. The NBA Finals MVP award was renamed after him in 2009.
My words cannot do this man justice or give him the respect or praise he deserves, but as a Celtics fan and historian, Bill Russell has a special place in my heart. The KG interview from 08 still tears me up to this day. Russell was a legend in every sense of the word. Hall of Famer. President Medal of Freedom winner. He was an elite basketball player who used his platform to help make a real difference in the world. It's sad that he's gone, but in 88 years this man lived one hell of a life, and he had a great sense of humor. Rest in Peace #6.
The outcrying of love and respect goes well beyond the hardwood. Rest in Peace, Bill Russell.
Song: Gone Away (1997)
Artist: The Offspring
Album: Ixnay on the Hombre
R.I.P. Bill Russell.
DOL Storytime: Why I can't Stop Hating Myself for Being Too Pussy to Shout "Pedophilia" in a Crowded Room
I hate to be like Trish the Dish and have all my summer blogs start with an apology for not writing enough, but I genuinely miss getting behind the keyboard!
I've been pretty busy between work (get well soon 'scape), a few events with my friends, battling depression lol, and feeding my grandmother's cats while she's visiting Deathsantisland.
So last Thursday, I went to a KFC Radio live show in East Providence with my buddy Sean. If you're unfamiliar with KFCR, it's Barstool's oldest podcast and a bastion of the old internet. During my two senior years of college, I listened to every episode and had the specific KFC Radio app that you paid a buck a month for.
Admittedly, my listening plummeted once Big Cat left to start PMT, but I love Feits and KFC. I still catch a bunch of their clips on Youtube and throw likes on social in good faith. A few weeks ago, I saw an ad for their live show for a reasonable price and scooped up two tickets to check it out.
Of course, I've always got #HireDozo on my brain's front burner, but I went intending to have fun. It would've been nice to get a little face time with KFC and Feits and reminisce of the time I basically hosted their Pandemic Game Show, but once the live show ended, the venue emptied super quickly. We were by an exit, so we kind of just went with the crowd. Then once outside, we ran into another buddy's ex-gf and got sucked up in catching up, and sort of missed our chance to connect.
I'm mad at myself for not hanging around and grabbing a quick selfie with the KFCR boys where my eyes are closed, but I HATE myself for being too big a pussy to shout out an answer that ended up being right and would've been huge for the Dozo brand.
Growing up, I had no qualms shouting things out at the wrong moment. My high school had a big problem with people shouting shit out during assemblies and I was one of the worst offenders, but even though I was a solid student, I was terrified to answer questions in class (even though I usually knew them). I didn't want to be wrong and look stupid. I did the same thing in college. I can probably count the times I talked on my own volition in class at URI on one hand. Anxiety and age have crippled my shout-out game, but no instance hurt me more than the one this blog is about.
So at podcast live shows, things are usually a little looser than in the regular internet setting. The boys let it fly. In the first 10ish minutes, KFC and Feits told a story about the night before when they were at Dave and Busters in Time Square for hours. Feits was talking about all the points on his Powercard and how he wanted to give it to a kid, but he needed to pick "the right" kid. In classic KFCR fashion, he and KFC were emphatically telling this story, and Feits said he was dipping his toe into, and before he finished the sentence, KFC was like, "I'll give you $500 if you can guess what Feits will say" or something along those lines. I told Sean he was talking about pedophilia. It made perfect sense for the joke based on the setup. He was talking about scouting the best kid to give his Powercard to. TBH, it wasn't that hard to crack; I'm sure I wasn't the only person who thought it, even though nobody said it (maybe it was just me, I do have a great untapped weird brain). It couldn't possibly be anything else. Sean said to yell it out, but I mean, I was fucking terrified. If there's one thing I lack, its confidence and even though I was like 88% sure, that's a word you don't just throw around willy-nilly. Some people don't even think you should joke about it! Can you believe that? In the 12% chance, I was wrong; I was setting myself up to get at the very least some intense dirty looks and judgment from people I'd love to be DOL readers. I didn't wanna be the morbidly obese guy screaming "pedophilia." It wasn't a good look for the boi.
I literally spent 15 minutes explaining this story to my shrink earlier this week about whether or not I made the right choice. Of course, as a therapist, she was saying shit about how not saying that showed growth blah, blah, blah. For a normal person sure, but I'm trying to work for Barstool. Apart from stopping fascism and finding a cool, pretty wife, it's legit all I want in my life. I was born to work for Barstool Sports and this was a chance I should've fucking taken.
I can't stop thinking about how that night plays out if I shout it out and get that holy shit reaction from KFC and Feits. Maybe they would've recognized me from Quarantine: The Game Show? They could've called me up on stage a la my Rosie O'Donnell appearance in 1997. Or, at the very least, it could've joggled their brains and been like, "oh shit, this dude is hilarious and great at telling where stories are going. We should totally save his life and give him a job at Barstool. He's been running a blog since 2016 and created @URIprobs which had over 6,000 followers at its peak which is no small accomplishment, especially in 2013-14."
Could that have finally been my big break? I don't know, but I am furious at myself for being somewhat responsible and not shouting out "pedophile" in a room of a few hundred people. I can't fucking win, bro. Why am I wasting my life trying to be a hashtag good guy and make a difference in this fucked up world? That isn't getting clicks. Maybe I should've not given a fuck and yelled out one of the top 3 worst things a person can be. Of course, now it's a lot easier to be like "dude, you should've just said it," but like my days as a middle, high school and college student, I was terrified of being wrong and what comes with it. If you're reading this, KFC, Feits, or anybody else at Barstool, Ole Dozo is a perfect fit, and my anxiety will magically disappear once I'm hired. I'll go back to the days of having no on-deck circle in my brain like it's 2009! #HireDozo
I am very worried about all my "how do you spell pedophilia?" google searches putting me on a list.
Song: Crank That (Soulja Boy) 
Artist: Soulja Boy
Happy Birthday to Soulja Boy (formerly Soulja Boy Tell 'Em)!
"Crank That (Soulja Boy)" is a truly iconic piece of 2000s pop culture that I hold near and dear to my heart. I first learned about this song at football practice my sophomore year when I was grounded for a shitty situation I got myself into on 9/2/07. At the time, I was barred from the internet, and some of my friends were talking about this song and dance. I didn't believe it was a real thing. Oh boi, was Dozo wrong.
Needless to say, like all of America, my school caught a case of "Crank That" fever. Along with Lil Jon's "Get Low," this was a MUST PLAY at school dances in the 2007-08 school year. There are videos of a young 15-year-old Dozah doing the Crank That, but sadly, they've been lost to history. Happy 32nd Birthday Mr. DeAndre Cortez Way!!! I hope you get plenty of kisses thru the phone and IRL! I keep that Pretty Boy Swag going to this day!
Mookie Betts Says He Would've Taken the Contract he Signed with the Dodgers Had the Red Sox Offered It
The MLB All-Star Game was this week, and that used to be a huge deal to me. I still think it's far and away the best All-Star Game in the big 4 (minus how they ruined the uniforms), but my love of baseball has been forever tarnished by the destitute Boston Red Sox frugal ways when it comes to paying their homegrown studs.
It feels like Xander and Baby Beluga (Raffy Devers) already have one foot out the door, but in likely their last ASG appearance as teammates (along with J.D. Martinez), they paired up with some fellow 2018 World Series champs in a heartbreaking picture of mismanagement.
I will never get over the Red Sox trading Mookie Betts to save money. I've written about it a time or two on this publication (incomplete list).
-The CEO of a Dodgers Fan Group (I Guess That's a Thing) Put Up a Billboard Outside of Fenway for Thanking the Red Sox For Trading Mookie Betts
-As if the Red Sox Weren't a Big Enough Joke Already, Lebron James Now Owns (Governs) Part of Them!
-I Want to Believe But I Don't Know If I Can
-Well, This (Potentially) Changes Everything
-Not Only Do the Red Sox Suck at Paying Generational Talent, but They Suck at Twitter Too!
-It Looks Like The Dodgers Are About To Sign Mookie to a Giant Deal
-Some Telling Stats About The Future of The United States of America
-How to Induce Vomiting (in New England)
-Mookie Betts Buys Groceries and Pizza For People Shopping and Working in Tennessee
-John Henry FINALLY Addresses The Mookie Betts Trade (and I Address My Future as a Red Sox Fan)
-After Nearly A Week of Hold Ups The Curse of Mookie Is Official (R.I.P. My Red Sox Fandom)
-So You're Telling Me There's a Chance?
-I Officially No Longer Love The Boston Red Sox
Just yesterday I had a conversation with a passenger about this very topic when he asked me who my teams were. Over the last two years, I've heard people say Mookie wanted to leave Boston and that's why they traded him. I never believed that shit. It was all about being fairly compensated as one of the best players in baseball. The Red Sox supposedly offered him 10 years, 300 million and Mookie countered with a deal north of 400 mill and instead of further negotiation with the best player the club developed since Yaz, they shipped him west for Malibu's Most Wanted and a bag of balls.
During the ASG festivities this week, Mookie confirmed to Chris Gasper of the Boston Globe (John Henry propaganda rag) he would've stayed.
via: the Globe
I asked Mookie if he would’ve taken that contract to stay with the Sox. Anger management class sign-ups might be about to skyrocket in Massachusetts.
“Absolutely, I just didn’t get it,” said Betts without hesitation. “That’s the argument. I didn’t get it, so that’s why I am where I am.”
Now of course, it's a lot easier to say that two years later, but I fundamentally believe Mookie. He would've stayed if the Sox gave him a fair offer, and yes, 300 million over 10 years was not a fair offer for someone who was 2018 MVP, batting champ, 4x All-Star, 4x Top 8 MVP finisher, 4x Gold Glove winner and 4x Silver Slugger in Boston.
Instead, John Henry is worried about the Pittsburgh Pirates and being a soulless lizard person. I realllly want to care about the Sox again, but if they aren't gonna pay Rafael Devers, I'm all the way out. There's no point in getting emotionally invested in an organization that isn't willing to do whatever it takes to win or treat its employees (players) with a shred of dignity. Trading Mookie was fully a money-saving move. They fucking gave up David Price too, and didn't get nearly enough in return. How about some of that Dodger pitching?
I have to stop this blog or anger myself into bursting a blood vessel or some shit. Fuck John Henry. He has no problem giving out horrible deals to already breaking down Chris Sale, Pablo Sandoval and Rusney Castillo (WHO HADN'T PLAYED BASEBALL IN LIKE 2 YEARS WHEN THEY SIGNED), but when it comes to homegrown guys who helped you win a World Series (Lester, Mookie, soon to be Raffy and Xander) it's time to kick rocks. Fuck John Henry FOR-EV-ER! He doesn't care. It's just another business to him. I can't wait until the day he's no longer the owner.
Yesterday while I was hanging out in a parking lot between Ubah rides, I was doing what I usually do to pass the time before I pick up another stranger in the 'scape, scrolling Twitter. That's where I saw this clip from some podcast where Grant Williams said what I, many Celtics fans, and ESPN BPI still believe; the Celtics were the better team in the 2022 NBA Finals: Presented by YoutubeTV.
I mean, Golden State won it all. I literally saw it with my own eyes in the 300 levels, but what the man who turned down Harvard said is true; it just sounds kind of silly.
The C's were up 2-1 and should've won Game 4 (which was the series turning point), but this blog isn't gonna break down all their mistakes. I don't have it in me today to unearth those scars, but everything he lists in the video just shows why the Warriors were the better team. They didn't turn the ball over constantly. They stayed composed. They hit shots. That's why they won the 2022 NBA Finals: Presented by YoutubeTV.
Suppose some ladies are out on a bachelorette weekend in lovely Newport, and one of the nights at the Airbnb that used to be a rental property for locals, one of the 17 women, let's call her Amanda, starts talking to, let's call her Jessica, about one of the remaining 15 who she can't stand. Amanda says to Jessica, you know, Matilda (one of the remaining 15 she doesn't like because she didn't like her IG post) isn't prettier than me; she just has better complexion, a more symmetrical face, juicier lips, and kinder eyes. Biiiiiiich, that chick is prettier than you. You might still be good-looking, but she's got you beat. You literally just described all the ways why.
That's what Grant Williams is doing here, even though outside of Steph the Warriors roster didn't scare me that much. Klay wasn't himself most of the series. Draymond sucked until game 6; I mean, Wiggins is good. I'll give him that, but I don't even remember the rest of the guys' names. Still you have to give the squad their credit. They beat the C's in three straight after they had gone all playoffs without back-to-back losses.
The C's are a great team and should be even better with Brogdan to help distribute the rock. I get Grant being butthurt. Bro, I still think about high school football like six times a week, but Golden State was more disciplined and composed. That's part of being a good team. It's why they kept their cool and stole away Game 4, which changed the whole series. Look at the Patriots' double-dynasty. The 2001 St. Louis Rams were a more talented team, but it didn't matter that day. The 2007 AND 2011 Patriots were better than the Giants, but they lost. It might not be a perfect analogy because a one-game situation is way different from a series; the better team loses all the time, but it's hilarious to hear Grant say the Celtics were better, then list all the reasons why GSW actually was.
I don't know if the timelines add up (if Steph heard what Grant said before this line at the ESPYS), but this clip doesn't do Grant any favors. Hopefully, it adds to Batman's backstory to come back even better in 22-23. I love Grant, but it's kind of crazy the C's 7th man was in the crowd to begin with.
Song: Living La Vida Loca (1999)
Artist: Ricky Martin
Album: Ricky Martin
Pass the French champagne! Following up on my last blog from Monday, all charges against Ricky Martin have been dropped.
The court case against Ricky Martin has been dismissed.
Martin's nephew, who'd accused the "Livin' La Vida Loca" singer of sexual abuse, asked to have the case dismissed in a Puerto Rican court on Thursday, and his request was obliged, attorneys for Martin told PEOPLE in a statement.
"Just as we had anticipated, the temporary protection order was not extended by the Court. The accuser confirmed to the court that his decision to dismiss the matter was his alone, without any outside influence or pressure, and the accuser confirmed he was satisfied with his legal representation in the matter," the statement read. "The request came from the accuser asking to dismiss the case."
The statement continued: "This was never anything more than a troubled individual making false allegations with absolutely nothing to substantiate them. We are glad that our client saw justice done and can now move forward with his life and his career."
The allegations emerged on July 1 when a judge granted a restraining order against Martin under Law 54 — also known as the Domestic Abuse Prevention and Intervention Act, which he denied.
"The allegations against Ricky Martin that lead to a protection order are completely false and fabricated," representatives for Martin told PEOPLE at the time. "We are very confident that when the true facts come out in this matter our client Ricky Martin will be fully vindicated."
The song of the summer will NEVER die!!!! I'm so glad this crazy fucking story (no pun intended) wasn't true. No incest for Ricky, hooray! I feel super bad for him; he caught this false allegation and it'll surely stick with some people forever, but luckily, Ricky's not that famous anymore. With the crazy state of the world, maybe some people never even learned of this news? Let's all forget it ever happened and groove to one of the greatest songs of 1999. Livin La Vida Loca, baby!!!
I Really Hope the Ricky Martin Allegations Aren't True Because We Cannot Afford to Lose "Livin' La Vida Loca"
Over the weekend, some not so chill news about Ricky Martin dropped (or at least went viral). While I'm not a cancel guy (especially for words), if the allegations of Ricky Martin having a relationship with his NEPHEW are true, it's gonna be hard to bump one of the hottest tracks of 1999 anymore.
Ricky Martin’s 21-year-old nephew has reportedly been identified as the individual who was granted a restraining order against the pop singer earlier this month.
A Puerto Rican judge approved the restraining against Martin on July 2nd, but the identity of the accuser had been unknown until now. According to Spanish newspaper Marca (via People), Martin’s brother, Eric, identified the artist’s nephew, Dennis Yadiel Sanchez, as his accuser.
According to the restraining order, which was filed under Puerto Rico’s domestic violence law, Martin and Sanchez had been in a seven-month relationship. Martin allegedly refused to accept their breakup and was found loitering outside of Sanchez’s home on three different occasions. Sanchez also accused Martin of physical and psychological abuse.
A court hearing is scheduled for July 21st. Until then, Martin is prohibited from contacting his accuser.
Martin and his representatives have denied the claims. "Unfortunately, the person who made this claim is struggling with deep mental health challenges," a representative for the singer said. "Ricky Martin has, of course, never been – and would never be – involved in any kind of sexual or romantic relationship with his nephew."
"The idea is not only untrue, it is disgusting. We all hope that this man gets the help he so urgently needs. But, most of all, we look forward to this awful case being dismissed as soon as a judge gets to look at the facts."
In an earlier statement, Martin’s representative said that "the allegations against Ricky Martin that led to a protection order are completely false and fabricated. We are very confident that when the true facts come out in this matter our client Ricky Martin will be fully vindicated."
In his own statement posted to Instagram on July 4th, Martin said the "protection order entered against me is based on completely false allegations, so I will respond through the judicial process with the facts and the dignity that characterize me."
"Because it is an ongoing legal matter," Martin added, "I cannot make detailed statements at this time. I am grateful for the countless messages of solidarity, and I receive them with all my heart."
Now we all know DOL is pro-LGBTQ+ AF. I don't care what consenting adults do, but this situation isn't like Ricky was fucking the 18 year old pool boy. It's a tad messier than that (ALLEGEDLY), as family is involved. If there's one thing DOL is, it's anti-incest. That is never swag and you can take that to the bank. Sure, this meme is hilarious. Questionable bussy made me literally howl.
But if it's confirmed that Ricky Martin was in a relationship with his nephew and, not only that, was responsible for physical and psychological abuse. I think we as a society have no choice but to nix "Livin La Vida Loca" from our summer playlists. This brings me no pleasure; last year, I called for Livin La Via Loca's inclusion in the Library of Congress for its cultural significance.
It just sucks, man. This news is a homophobe's wet dream, and for the sake of the world, I hope it's false, but from my minimal internet research, it's not looking good for Ricky. Again, the whole cancel thing is fucking stupid, and both sides of the political spectrum are guilty of it, but in cases like this where real crimes are on the table, I think it's fair to "cancel" this song.
I could deal with losing "Rock N' Roll Part 2" because Gary Glitter is a literal sex offender. That song isn't even that good. It's 90% "HEY." We've known about R. Kelly's fucked up past since Chappelle's Show was on the air (even earlier for people older than me....I didn't know about all the Aaliyah until I was a teenager). Now that he's behind bars for the next three decades, the Remix to Ignition is hot and fresh off our musical libraries.
But I don't wanna lose "Livin La Vida Loca," it brings back such great memories from childhood and is a certified banger (maybe not the best choice of words??). If you played this at a party before a month ago it'd get the place JUMPIN. Like this is just a fun, awesome song. It helped bring communities together. If these allegations are confirmed, I'll do the right thing and stop listening, but the world will be a little worse off without this track.
"Livin' La Vida Loca": Song of the Summer 1999-2022?
It goes without saying, but better safe than sorry...I also hope these allegations aren't true because of the incest.
You Can Get Me to Believe Vecna is Real, but It's Highly Unlikely Eddie Munson Knew How to Play Master of Puppets
DOL DISCLAIMER: It's been a little over two weeks since episodes eight and nine of Stranger Things 4 dropped, but it's summer, and we're all busy. I get it if you haven't found the time to watch episodes that are respectively 85 and 150 minutes long. I'm just giving you a heads up. As a hashtag good guy, if you still haven't seen them and don't wanna get spoiled, this is not the blog for you. I hate turning readers away, but I'm not a spoiler guy. That's not my swag and never will be. If you're sticking with me, let's dive in.
I've never really been much of a sci-fi or fantasy fan, whatever label you wanna slap on Stranger Things and shows/movies like it (are there even any? I'm not sure because it's typically not my bag). I didn't watch the first two seasons in real-time. Instead, I binged them before Stranger Things 3 dropped back in 2019 and LOVED IT. Admittedly, I'm more interested in the character development and 80s references. I kinda just deal with all the weird Upside Down stuff my brain isn't used to in my usual entertainment choices.
I can totally get past all the creepy shit when watching ST. I get sucked in like everybody else and accept that as a reality for the sake of the show and its plot, blah, blah, blah, but as a historian, I can't let continuity errors and anachronisms go by without acknowledging them. If you're unfamiliar with those terms, a continuity error is a lapse in the self-consistency of the scene or story being portrayed. It could be something minor, like someone's wearing a green hat in one scene, then the camera cuts back to them, and suddenly the hat is gone or another color. There are plenty more glaring mistake examples like these if you wanna watch a 12 minute video mid-blog:
Anachorisms are a chronological inconsistency in some arrangement, especially a juxtaposition of people, events, objects, language terms and customs from different time periods (h/t wikipedia). It'd be like if you were watching a movie set in the 90s and all the characters were using iPhones, which didn't come out until 2007 and weren't the phone that like 85% of people had until the mid-2010s. If a film or television program took place in the 1960s and the characters were listening to grunge bands like Nirvana or Pearl Jam, that would be an anachronism since that genres wasn't a thing until the late 80s/early 90s. One more example, sure? This image is an anachorism, but I'll let you figure out why!
That topic won't be covered as much in this blog, but it's in the same family tree as continuity errors, so I figured I'd give brief explanation.
Stranger Things 4 starts on March 21st, 1986 in Lenora Hills, California (I loveeee the use of Beach Boys cover of California Dreamin in this scene) but bounces between a Russian Gulag and fictional Hawkins, Indiana.
Apparently, there's already a major continuity error that I didn't notice because hand up I didn't remember this little nugget from something I watched over three years ago. They totally forgot about Will's birthday!
TBH, I'm a little surprised I didn't remember that because it's one of my two ex gfs birthdays, and she did some Vecna-like damage to my brain, but not retaining this information is a good thing because it just proves that I am soooo over all of that shit (but would obvi smash for old time's sake if the opportunity ever presented itself).
So in Stranger Things 4, we are introduced to some new characters.
There's Argyle. I'm a long hair guy, but even I was like bro this is ridiculous. TBH my hair would go that far on my body if I wasn't morbidly obese. These rolls are like mountains, my hair has to climb to reach my ass, as Argyle's does.
But everybody's talking about Eddie Munson, a 6th-year senior at Hawkins High and leader of the Hellfire Club (a D&D group). He also plays guitar for a band called Corroded Coffin.
Apart from his dead eyes and affinity for the freshmen members of Hellfire, Eddie ends up being a pretty lovable character as long as you aren't a Satanic Panic idiot like this piece of shit plucked right from Reagan's interns.
Jason Carver's death is easily the most satisfying moment of Season 4, but this blog focuses on the late Eddie Munson.
Eddie was an outcast because of his long hair and dead eyes, but as the season progressed, we see the softer side to Eddie and that he would be a hashtag good guy (had that term existed in 1986). His character truly resonated with fans.
After Vecna kills Chrissy during a drug deal at Eddie's uncle's trailer, Eddie runs away and hides, causing Jason and other idiots in Hawkins to blame him for her death. Eddie goes into hiding for the remainder of the season, but in episode 2, Steve, Nancy, Robin, and Dustin find him. They explain what's happening with Vecna and that they're on his side.
So far, we've established that Stranger Things 4 starts on March 21st, 1986. That's the same day Eddie tries to sell Chrissy some reefer, and she ends up looking like a human swastika, thanks to Vecna.
The remainder of season 4 takes place from March 22nd to March 27th. Apart from a brief scene where Eddie touches a guitar, we never see him practicing or playing his ax until March 27th, 1986. That night Eddie ultimately sacrifices himself, but not before playing an EPIC guitar solo from a recently released Metallica album that would go on to sell 6 million copies.
I've had this conversation with my friends a million times, but as shitty as times may be, we're lucky to live in a time where music is super readily available. I can listen to any song I want on multiple devices in my room as I type this sentence and discover artists from across the globe thanks to the internet. We all know how this works; I think we get the point.
That was not the case in 1986. Sure, you had radio, MTV and magazines to learn about musicians. Still, I'd have to imagine finding new music was much more challenging, especially if it wasn't commercially successful or promoted. Even though I like a wide variety of older music, I feel like if I were actually alive at the time, I wouldn't have listened to all the stuff I like from that era just from how much more difficult it was to keep up with everything when information wasn't immediately at your fingertips.
I will gladly concede that Master of Puppets came out on March 3rd, 1986. That is an indisputable fact.
But Metallica was not exactly a household name in 1986. Master of Puppets is considered their masterpiece and breakthrough record, but it wasn't even three weeks old when Season 4 began. It's not impossible that a metal head like Eddie knew about Metallica, but again, the internet was still years away. It's not like he could look up the tabs. I've searched the internet far and wide about when Metallica released tabs for this album, but I'm willing to bet it wasn't within the first month of its release.
Metallica's Master of Puppets was released without singles (although the title track was released as a promo single in JULY of '86), radio play, or music videos to help promote it. Yes, it was technically out while season 4 took place, but I have a hard time believing people in fucking Hawkins, IN knew about Metallica in early '86. This was when Metallica was on their "come up." Even Lars Ulrich said that smaller towns were less familiar with Metallica at the time.
Master of Puppets didn't reach the Billboard Charts until March 29th, 1986 and when it did, it debuted at fucking #128, but according to Billboard it sold 300,000 copies in the its first three weeks. Maybe it is plausible Eddie had a copy?
Now just because Eddie was a 6th year senior, it doesn't mean he was stupid. He was more so misunderstood and likely didn't take school as seriously as he should've. Academic and musical intelligence are two different things, perhaps even had Eddie been exposed to Master of Puppets before his untimely death he could've heard and recognized all the notes/chords being played and learned it by ear, but that would make him some kind of musical savant, which based on the track record of his life seems improbable. You'd think they'd mention that at some point if he had this ability. Like Dustin would've definitely bragged about it had it been the case. Eddie was his fucking guy! It's a challenging ass song, it's not like he played "Smoke on the Water."
There's no denying this scene is bad ass.
And I get it, it's an internet TV show. It's not real; it's entertainment. I can believe the Upside Down is real and that Hopper can defeat Russians and Demogorgans with a severely broken ankle, but one thing I cannot get past is historical inaccuracies. You might've been able to get this continuity error past millions, but not by Ole Dozo.
I like Metallica and am happy for guys got some recognition by younger people that don't know about them because they haven't experienced enough success in life. This video is pretty cool though.
But I'm sorry, there's just no fucking way Eddie Munson MASTERED "Master of Puppets" in the 18 days between its release and the start of Stranger Things 4 or in the few days he was in hiding before his death on the 27th without access to a guitar. He would've had to purchase an album with almost no promotion in a little podunk town in Indiana that recently had its mall DESTROYED.
Is it technically possible? Sure, I guess, but hopefully with this blog I've shown you all the factors that make it highly unlikely. I love Stranger Things and enjoyed the season, but I just had to say my piece on your favorite niche blog. R.I.P. Eddie Munson. I hope Jason is burning in Hell for eternity.
"Running Up that Hill" is okay at best and if you use it in a TikTok or IG reel you fucking suck, especially if it's like a cooking video. There's no point. Shit like this is HELLA CRINGE!
Song: Fly Like An Eagle (2022)
Album: Minions: The Rise of Gru Soundtrack
Minions: The Rise of Gru's soundtrack has absolutely no business being this good. It's chock full o' of 70s & 80s covers by contemporary artists and gotten heavy rotation play from ya boi this summer as I spend every waking hour on the roads, except today! It's time to grind (I got out of bed at 3:30).