Hey man I get it, I understand that two weeks is a lot time to kill between the conference championship games and the Super Bowl. That the same story lines and narratives can get rather boring. Two years ago it was two weeks of would Peyton Manning retire/could he lead the Broncos past the mighty 15-1 Panthers? Last year was all about Brady getting revenge on Goodell for Deflategate. This year it's all about Brady's hand, and the Eagles underdog run without Carson Wentz. Shit gets old and it gets old quick, so I understand that people will try to create new ideas and topics to not be so boring, but this has got to be the dumbest question of all time. I got legitimately angry at this when I saw it this morning.

Here are a few of my favorite replies:

How could anybody in their right mind  pick Eli Manning? You'd have to be the dumbest boy in school.

Now at the base of the argument I can almost see what they're going at. Would you rather win the most play in more Super Bowls than any other player in league history, win more Super Bowls than any other player in league history, have most Super Bowl MVPs, and hold 10 individual Super Bowl records OR the be the guy who thanks to his defense and one of the luckiest plays of all time beat that man's team twice in the Super Bowl? 

Who green lit this premise? 

Schrager when trying to make this idiotic case for Manning says the same point like 6 different ways. "He's 2-0" "Flawless" "He's never lost" yeah bro we get it you have one point. 

Here's the point(s) for Tom.

It's basically like asking would you rather having the lasting musical legacy of The Beatles or a One Hit Wonder that had a number hit over them?

While I get it Eli's team beat the Patriots twice the analogy still remains. Actually that analogy kind of sucks because the Beatles run was like 6 years. Tom Brady has been dominating the NFL three times as long, and many people think the Beatles are overrated. Even if you despise Brady like many people do you cannot at this point in time make the argument that he's overrated. That ship has sailed, friendo.

Brady is the greatest of all time, and Eli is a blip on the radar who had two miracle Super Bowl runs. It's not even a discussion worth having. Again, I can tip my cap to Eli, on those days he did what he had to do and lead the Giants to victory. That alone will get him into Canton someday, but even the most diehard of Giants fan would rather have Brady's resume, and if they say no they're an idiot plain and simple. If it was 2013 when Brady was 3-2 in the Super Bowl I could see the case being made, but now that Brady is 5-2 in the big game, probably going to be 6-2 the conversation is OVER.

Even if the Patriots somehow lose Sunday that'll make Brady 5-3 in the Super Bowl. The Dallas Cowboys as a franchise are 5-3 in the Super Bowl. Not a bad place to be. On par with the most recognizable franchise in the league.  So worst case scenario for the Pats and Brady he has the same Super Bowl record as the Dallas Cowboys. Debate over, it's Brady and Brady by a mile. The only way I think Eli wins this argument is if somehow Tom were to die on the field this Sunday, so his Super Bowl career ends with death, but tbh even then I still think most people would rather be in Brady's shoes than Eli's. 

I don't know about you friend, but I when I found out that the Los Angeles Clippers traded Blake Griffin to the Detroit Pistons I was completely stunned. Blake Griffin is The Los Angeles Clippers. He's the face of the franchise. I'm not talking currently, like of all time. He's the player that turned the Clippers from perennial laughing stock to perennial Western Conference Semi-Finalists. Despite never making it to the Conference Finals the Blake Griffin-Chris Paul years are without question the most successful years in the franchise's history. Before they showed up the Clippers had made the playoffs just three times since they relocated to California from Buffalo, NY in 1978-1979. Griffin and/or Paul (depending on who was injured at the time) led the Clippers to the playoffs every year from the 2011-2012 to 2016-2017 seasons. 

Griffin had a chance to leave this off season, but instead signed a massive deal (173 million over 5 years) to stay in Los Angeles. Once that happened, even though the contract did not have a no trade clause it appeared Blake was going to be a Clipper for life. I say that because the Los Angeles Clippers while trying to convince him to re-up literally told him he was going to be a Los Angeles Clipper for life. 

Now just a few months later he's a Detroit Piston. 
​

​Blake expressed his state of disbelieve like we all do, by using gifs on twitter.

To me this isn't really about Blake Griffin, it's about Lebron James' reaction.

While technically Lebron didn't bring up the topic out of thin air as he was asked about Griffin's trade by a reporter since the Cavs are playing the Pistons tonight. It wouldn't shock me for one second to find out Lebron had this question planted just so he could go off on a tangent trying to make excuses for his lack of loyalty before he dips out on the Cavs (again). 

"When a player gets traded, it's they was doing what's best for the franchise," he said. "But when a player decides to leave, it's, 'He's not loyal. He's a snake. He's not committed.' It's just, that's the narrative of how it goes. So I'm definitely (aware). I know that firsthand." - Lebron James

It's hard to be pissed off at this fuck boy with "I'll Be Around" playing in the background but LeBron sure makes it easier when he's wearing a beanie on the very top of his head in a climate controlled arena like a total ass hole. 
​
Lebron is leaving again, and is just saying stuff like this to soften the blow when he does.

No shit you know of it [free agents being told they're not loyal] first hand, Lebron because you're literally the poster child of a lack of loyalty! The poster should be you and Benedict Arnold playing one on one a burning map of the United States. This all started long before you left Cleveland for Miami after times got tough and the Celtics bounced you in the 2nd round.

You had had enough and left. That's fine, part of me gets it, I mean it's Miami over Cleveland and Dan Gilbert sucks, but I mean given the definition of loyal, you sir were not when you left for Miami so fans have every right in the world to be upset with you.

Let's also not forget that growing up in the 90's in Akron, OHIO Lebron James was a Yankees, Cowboys and Bulls fan. Aka the three most successful franchises of that time period. The holy triumvirate of bandwagon fandom. The lack of loyalty to his roots was apparent from the start. He's basically Ricky Bobby's wife leaving him for Cal Naughton Jr as soon he loses his racing career. Just follows the hot hand. Now as times are getting tougher in Cleveland as the Celtics are looking to shift the balance of power in the East it appears Lebron is on his way out yet again, with remarks like this only to soften the blow. It really is amazing how history repeats itself. 

I'll give Mr. James credit here though, he is right in the sense of that when players get traded people will say it's "what's best for the franchise" or that "it's a business", you know shit like that... because it's true. It is a business and teams aren't loyal, they'll turn their back on players who might've done things like play days after their sister died. So players have every right to do the same when they have the chance to get paid in free agency, but you can't have it both ways. The difference is choice. Blake Griffin didn't have a choice, they just moved his ass. So that's why people don't talk about loyalty in these situations. It's really not the same thing at all.

Shit like this is why I hate Lebron. Of course he's a world class talent and probably the best basketball player of all time but he's also at times a complete idiot with no sense of awareness at all. (Also a cry baby but we won't go down that path today!) Fans have every right to be pissed when the hometown "savior" leaves when times get tough, you turned your back on your home and city. Sure you came back and won a title (thanks to Kyrie) but let's just call a spade a spade one time. It's all business, everybody is a scumbag looking out for themselves, yourself included. That's why you left Miami to return to Cleveland when it felt the Heat's window had closed. Everybody is looking out for number one, plain and simple. It's just when people have television specials to announce their leaving their home in ruins they usually will also have their loyalty questioned at the very least. Dudes who get traded against their will will not, that's just how things go. 

Song: No Hard Feelings
Artist: The Avett Brothers
​Album: True Sadness

s/o pops for the recommendation. 

Audio of Reimer calling Vivian Brady a pissant on Mut and Night. 

Add ending the WEEI career of Alex Reimer to Tom Brady's already quite impressive resume. Although he hasn't been fired yet I'd be utterly shocked if he wasn't axed at some point today. Just makes too much sense. While ending Reimer is not quite in the same class as a Super Bowl win, it's still quite the accomplishment for TB12. Somewhere in the range of an AFC Offensive Player of the Month award imo. He really can do it all!

Last week while on the air with Mike Mutansky Alex Reimer referred to Tom Brady's daughter as an "annoying little pissant" when the two were discussed Tom vs. Time. 

I have been looking all morning for audio of Brady's remarks but haven't been able to find it. This morning on his weekly Monday spot with Kirk and Callahan Brady said the following:
 
"I've tried to come on this show for many years and showed you guys a lot of respect,"  "I've always tried and come on and do a good job for you guys. It's very disappointing when you hear [the comments about my daughter], certainly. My daughter, or any child, certainly don't deserve that."

"I really don't have much to say this morning. Maybe I'll speak with you guys some other time," 

Reimer has already been suspended for his remarks and honestly I think he should be fired. I'm not saying this because I think he's horrible at his job, or because he's a personification of the smug, gay know it all stereotype. It's simply because this decision is a no brainer.

What's more important for WEEI? 

​Their weekly interview with Tom Brady, the future HOF quarterback for the New England Patriots or Alex Reimer and his snarky commentary?

Pretty obvious answer, if firing Reimer is how you keep Brady happy, you do it. Simple as that. Although given WEEI's questionable decision making they probably will keep Reimer and turn their back on Brady. 

​What a horrible trying to be edgy take by him Reimer though. Anybody who watched the first episode of Tom vs. Time knows that his daughter was being an adorable little 5 year old who was excited to play soccer and have a sleepover.  Only a monster would say otherwise. Enter Alex Reimer. Of course Reimer didn't think of it that way, and used the term "pissant". I hate to go after the whole gay thing because it's well documented that DOL is quote "pro gay af" but seriously dude? Of course he used the gayest insult of all time. I've heard the term pissant used a handful of times in my life and pretty sure it's been exclusively used by the gays. I feel like Ant from Last Comic Standing said it like 15 years ago and if that is the case than my memory deserves a pat on the back.

Despite not really liking Reimer at all, I do kind of feel bad for him given the added scrutiny he gets for being a 24 year old twink (his words) working in Boston sports radio, but you've gotta be smarter than this dude. You can't go after the crown and expect to survive. Brady and GIsele are New England's Royal Family. Making fun of their daughter while working for a Boston station is essentially career suicide. 

Hey Reimer.

Song: Cumbersome
Artist: Seven Mary Three
Album: American Standard

via: www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article196375744.html?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link&ICID=ref_fark

Do you trust your store clerk with your lottery ticket?

Maybe you’ve won a few hundred bucks or more. Will the employee tell you — or pocket the ticket while telling you it’s a loser?

That happened this week at a Fort Myers store, according to the Florida Lottery Commission. A Winn-Dixie Liquors employee is accused of keeping a customer’s $600 winning ticket —and paying him only 5 bucks.

Crystelle Yvette Baton was charged with larceny grand theft on Monday.

Baton, 42, was caught because she scammed the wrong customer, cops say.

The man wasn’t a customer — he was an agent working undercover for the Florida Lottery Commission’s security division.

When the undercover agent approached Baton with the winning ticket, she scanned it and realized it was worth $600. But instead of telling the man, investigators said she quietly pulled $5 out of her purse and told the man that was the “winning” ticket’s payoff.

Miami-Dade Police believe this man took part in swindling $10,000 from a South Dade woman in a lottery scam in October.

Shortly after, the agent went back to the store to bust Baton. The winning ticket was found hidden in her notebook.
​
Seems the Lottery Commission makes these random visits to sellers to make sure the games are played properly.

“Anyone that is working in a customer service job, you think that they are doing what is in your best interest. I would be very upset if someone took that from me,” Winn-Dixie customer Nadina Puzic told WBBH NBC2.

A reader, posting on the NBC2 website on Wednesday, said the scam isn’t unusual. “This is much more common than you would think. I put my name on the back always, and always notice when the cashier checks the back before she determines whether it won something or not. A favorite trick, pretend to throw ticket away after telling someone they did not win anything, and then when they leave, pull it out of the trash and collect.”
Jacksonville-based Winn-Dixie responded with a statement:

“We are taking this matter very seriously as the trust and safety of our customers is our highest priority. The associate’s employment has been terminated.”

Baton posted a $5,000 bond on Tuesday. Her trial date is set for Feb. 26.

The lesson, even if it gnaws at you a bit for not trusting your fellow human: Make use of the Florida Lottery Commission’s electronic checkers that are placed on the counters near the lottery machine. You’ll save time, too, if there’s a line.

​Part of me feels bad for Crystelle Yvette Baton, age 42 (going on 62 by the looks of her) because with a spelling like C-R-Y-S-T-E-L-L-E she never really stood much of a chance for being a contributing member of society.

Crystelle thought she could pull a fast one on a customer by exchanging their winning lottery ticket for a $5 bill that came directly out of her purse. I mean this idea seemed fool proof from the start because people exchanging winning lottery tickets never know how much they're about to receive.  It's always a mystery. Could be 2 dollars, could be 2 million. Then when they do finally receive their winnings it is accustomed for the person working to give the winnings directly out of their purse or wallet. As everybody knows. So, so far, so good, everything seems above board.

Unfortunately for Crystelle in a twist of fate, it turns out the person she was trying to bamboozle was an undercover agent working on the lottery security division. Thank Heavens it was a trained professional because had it not been  she would've ripped off some poor regular Joe off the street.



Seriously though, dumb criminals always fascinate me, and boy oh boy do we have a dumb criminal on our hands here. Crystelle, how could you have ever thought for even a millisecond that this plan would work? I hate to be so judgmental given that I am currently 26 years old without a full-time job writing this blog to an audience of nobody, but at least I have not one but two college degrees and if in Crystelle's shoes would've had enough intelligence to realize this elaborate stunt was doomed from the start.

I don't know if you play the lottery or not, but as a broke person I do. Let me tell you something, when you finally win a little something and try to exchange it like 99.9% of the time, maybe even more you know exactly what is coming your way. If I had a powerball ticket with the just powerball,  I know I'm getting $4. Had she been dealing with a normal person don't you think they'd realize their ticket that was supposed to be $600 was a little short when you handed an five spot? Contrary to popular belief $600 and $5 look nothing alike. Even if the person was blind they could've been able to tell the difference between five singles and six one hundred dollar bills. That's just basic arithmetic. 

Let's say somehow for the sake of argument the customer doesn't notice you gave them $595 less dollars than they were anticipating. Don't you think it'd be a little more convincing to take $5 out of the drawer and replace with your own money afterwards? As soon as you start see someone paying out out of their own pocket at a store every basic instinct (s/o Sharon Stone) would be to realize something is a little fishy. I worked in a restaurant for five years where at times I would work the cash register. Not a single time did I give someone change out of my wallet instead of the register. 

After being caught red handed with the winning ticket in her notebook Crystelle was fired from her job, and charged with larceny grand theft, sure people make mistake's but imo anybody willing to steal a winning lottery ticket from another human should be tried to the fullest extent of the law. I'd give her 20 years to think about what she's done. Nobody this scummy or stupid should be allowed on the streets, and I hope the judge arrests her parents if they're still alive for spelling her name that way.

via: profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2018/01/26/humphreys-lawyer-he-has-11-million-reasons-not-to-steal/

The lawyer for Ravens cornerback Marlon Humphrey predicts that his client will be cleared of a robbery charge, and he predicted it in a colorful manner.

Attorney Paul Patterson told the Baltimore Sun that Humphrey’s four-year, $11.8 million contract was enough of a reason to counter the charges he stole a $15 phone charger from an Uber driver in Alabama.
​
“Marlon has 11 million reasons not to steal a . . . phone charger,” Patterson said. “Marlon has not had an opportunity to tell his side of the story.

“The Uber driver makes a lot of allegations in that report that simply are not true. Fortunately for Marlon, we have eyewitnesses who are willing to testify about what accurately transpired between Marlon and the Uber driver.”

Humphrey was charged with third-degree robbery, and released from jail on $2,500 bond. The incident report said he asked to borrow the driver’s charger, refused to return it, and elbowed the driver. The driver accused Humphrey of making a fist and threatening him.

University of Alabama police found Humphrey inside a hotel with the cable (which didn’t fit his phone), and returned the cable to the driver.

Humphrey, the Ravens first-round pick last year, was back on campus taking classes this spring.

“It’s a sad event because the Humphrey family has a fine reputation in our community and now Marlon will be challenged with repairing his reputation even though it was a simple mistake,” Patterson said.

The Ravens put out a statement yesterday saying they were monitoring the situation.

Obviously you shouldn't steal. I already went over thou shalt not steal earlier this week not-fair-man-faces-15-years-in-jail-after-catching-his-wife-cheating.html but you especially shouldn't be stealing from Uber drivers.  Everybody who is driving for uber is broke, that's why you're driving for uber. Stealing from the poor is just mean. You drive for uber because you have to drive for uber. As a former uber driver I know this and can respect this unnamed uber driver for getting his side hustle on. You just don't steal from the poor.  If you want to steal from big businesses or rich people who won't notic; I'm not going to fully endorse it, but I think that's a different story.

Anyways, at the same time is stealing a charger really stealing? What's next going to jail for not returning a pen? Community service for grabbing a few grapes at the supermarket?

While I'm not trying to make excuses for Marlon Humphrey let's face the facts, as I think I figured out what was going on.

This man was clearly drunk and more than likely going to partake in some group sex at this hotel with two women. He's an NFL player going back to Bama where I'm sure he's a God, the dude is clearly trying to catch some strange. Why else would you be going to a hotel at 2 am after a night at your old campus with two girls? As long as they're all consenting adults that's A-okay, nobody should be mad at that, if anything you tip your cap to this young man. Congrats on the sex. He's clearly not thinking about the phone charger he used from this uber driver. He probably just got out of the car and wanted to get his D wet asap.

Of course he threatened this guy. He was hassling him over a fucking phone charger when he was trying to get freaky. I don't blame the dude. Like it's a fucking phone charger, cut your loses and move on, let me get mine. As a man who doesn't exactly have a ton of sex I'd be so pissed if someone was trying to cock block me over a phone charger. Granted if I was in his shoes I would've just been like here take the charger idgaf, but everybody is different. 

What I don't understand is how this guy took a charger that didn't even fit his phone. He must be some loser that doesn't have an iPhone because you need to be either the dumbest mother fucker alive (which we can't rule out entirely since he want to Bama) or completely shit faced to not realize what charger your phone uses. But then again the more I think about it even if you're completely plastered everybody knows what time of charger they need. Unlike your sexual orientation or address, it's not something that you forget when you're drunk. It's more like your name or birthday, things you'll always know no matter the circumstances. 

I just can't believe you can file a police report over a stolen charger. Imagine how annoyed the cops must've been here? A fucking phone charger?  When there's real crime going on. Can I press charges on my sister for never returning my charger I let her borrow? Because if I can I will. 

My biggest takeaway from this other than the clear scenario I recreated is that this Humprey dude has a horrible lawyer. "My client has 11 million reasons not to steal" Since when has being rich ever stopped someone from stealing? 

There's a certain thrill that comes with stealing that doesn't matter how much money you have it's just about trying to get away with it (allegedly not that I'd know). I feel like you're better off going with my argument as to why he may have taken this charger then just saying "Your honor, my client is rich, why would he steal?" Marlon Humphrey was drunk and trying to get some box. Since when is that a crime?

Song: Nothing New
Artist: Charlotte Day Wilson
Album: Stone Woman

via: www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/22213241/vince-mcmahon-gimmick-free-xfl-return-2020

WWE founder and chairman Vince McMahon announced Thursday he is giving a professional football league another go.
​​
It will be called the XFL, the same name of the league McMahon and NBC tried for one season in 2001, but it won't rely on flashy cheerleaders and antics as its predecessor did, he said.

McMahon said he is the sole funding source for the league, which is slated to begin in January 2020. Its first season will have eight teams around the country playing a 10-week schedule. The initial outlay of money is expected to be around $100 million, the same amount of WWE stock McMahon sold last month and funneled into Alpha Entertainment, the company he founded for the project.

"I wanted to do this since the day we stopped the other one," McMahon told ESPN in an exclusive interview. "A chance to do it with no partners, strictly funded by me, which would allow me to look in the mirror and say, 'You were the one who screwed this up,' or 'You made this thing a success.'"
​
McMahon told reporters on Thursday afternoon that he has had no initial talks with media entities.
One mark of the new league, McMahon said, will be faster games. The ideal running time, he said, would be two hours.

As for the timing of the announcement, two years before the league's debut, many might point to McMahon's relationship with President Donald Trump, who this fall criticized the NFL for allowing its players to kneel and sit during the national anthem. McMahon said players in his league will not be given the forum to take a personal stance while on the playing field. McMahon's wife, Linda, heads the Small Business Administration in Trump's Cabinet.

Despite living in West Warwick I'm not white trash, so I never got into pro wrestling. Because of that I don't know too much about Vince McMahon other than the stuff I've absorbed from Barstool and Twitter over the years, but this all seems like a very anti-Vince McMahon move. He's a showman, yet he's neutering the XFL. No gimmicks. What's even the point? What's the X for if it's not going to be extreme?

I don't remember the XFL at all since I was in 4th grade during it's lone season. I'm familiar with what it was all about thanks to being a student of the internet, but by the looks of it Vince McMahon is going about this all wrong. Instead of taking another chance at being the bad boy league in a time where people are dying for old school football where you were allowed to head hunt and play with multiple concussions he's pulling a classic Trump move by going after idiot America with the league's stance of not allowing players to kneel or express their opinions about social issues. 

Look I'm a you should stand for the National Anthem guy. I love this country like a battered wife loves her abusive husband. Despite many flaws in our great nation  much like a battered wife I'm never leaving but do know there are better options out there. 

Despite that I do understand the deeper rooted issues about protesting police brutally and all that fun stuff that I do support. I'm anti-police brutality. Yes I know I'm brave for admitting that. I don't really need to get any deeper into all that right now. This is about football. I'm just saying it's very easy to see the audience McMahon is going after. 

​I love how in his press conference the first change he posed that would make football better is eliminating half time as if that's the biggest problem with football? 

Who the hell is anti-halftime? 

You mean the one opportunity during the game where I'm guaranteed to not miss any action when I go take a shit or need to go get more beer? 

Yeah we all hate that!

While I think the XFL will fail just like it's predecessor, the one thing I think that will give a legitimate chance to last more than a season is the talent and personalities it showcases. That is where your old friend ole dozo is here to help. For the sake of this list let's just assume Vince comes to his senses and eliminates his idiotic no criminal record rule. You're asking for a second chance with this shitty league but you won't give guys who have made a mistake a second chance? Seems fair! (not)

Since the XFL is going to be an 8 team league here are the 8 quarterbacks that I believe would give the XFL it's best chance at success. 

8. Jeff Brohm

Like I said earlier, I don't remember the XFL. I was v young in 2001. However, as a student of the internet streets I know about He Hate Me and this Jeff Brohm quote after being asked about playing after he sustained a head injury. Jeff Brohm is a football guy plain and simple. Despite currently being the head football coach of Purdue and 48 years old you need an veteran XFL guy who was around for the first giddy up. If he still has a pulse I'm sure he'll still be able to sling it. Get this man a helmet and some shoulder pads stat!
​

7. Jared Lorenzen aka He Ate Me

I get it that Vince McMahon said that this league was going to be gimmick free but that's about as believable as me saying diet starts Monday. Speaking of diet starts Monday, Jared Lorenzen aka the Hefty-Lefty is a must have for the XFL. He's a fat lefty redneck QB with NFL experience (28 career passing yards!)

What more do you need? 

Jared Lorenzen is a proven winner. He was the 3rd string QB on the 2007 NY Giants but his ring is just as nice as the one they gave Michael Strahan. The dude is a winner who is hungry to give football another chance with the best self proclaimed nickname of all time #HeAteMe.
​

6. JaMarcus Russell 

JaMarcus Russell may be one of the biggest busts in NFL history, there's no denying that.

Buuut, have you ever seen his arm?  He can throw a football like 75 yards while on a knee.  I know this league will be anti-kneeling but how can you overlook skills like that? If guys are going to be taking knees might as well have them throwing 75 yard bombs while they're doing it.

Plus we need to follow the Rooney rule. If we're going to be inclusive and have the fattest white QB alive I feel like it's only fair to also have the fattest black QB alive. 

You're telling me you wouldn't buy a ticket to watch the biggest bust in NFL history try to comeback at 34 years old? (don't tell me if you wouldn't)

5. Julian Edelman

Did you know Julian Edelman played quarterback at Kent State?

Of course not, nobody knows that, it's a very well kept secret.

In 2020 when the XFL is set to launch Julian Edelman will be 33 years old. There's a great chance he will no longer be a Patriot at that point in time. For one his contract expires after the 2019 season, and we know Belichick likes to move on from guys a year too early rather than a year too late. Considering he tore his ACL this year and has taken many vicious hits as a squirrelly slot receiver for multiple Super Bowl champion teams there's a great chance he'll be looking for a job come 2020. 

Edelman is by no means starving, but considering how solid he's been throughout his NFL career he's never had a big money NFL deal. The XFL is going to be looking for starpower and Julian Edelman is a star. For the right price I think the XFL could get him.

​We all know how competitive Jules is, as successful as he's been as a WR you know deep down he still thinks of himself as a QB, if given the chance to play quarterback I think he takes it.

4. RGIII

When healthy Robert Griffin III was one of the most electric players in the league. The former Heisman Trophy winner was the rookie of the year in 2012. If it wasn't for the horrible field conditions at FedEx Field and Mike Shanahan being arguably dumber than his son's playcalling in Super Bowl LI who knows what happens to RG3 if he doesn't get hurt?

Assuming RGIII doesn't make a league comeback before 2020 it'll be 3 full years since the former Baylor QB played a snap of football. Aka plenty of time to get healthy and give us a glimpse of the star he could've been before tearing his ACL, MCL and PCL within the first half of the halftimeless 2020 season opener.

3. Tim Tebow

If McMahon is for serious about these wholesome rules for the XFL than there is no more appropriate QB for the league than one Timothy Richard Tebow. Everybody in America knew Tim Tebow would be on this list but I bet you're a little surprised he's only at #3. Well that's because it may be a little difficult to convince the starting left fielder for the New York Mets to give up his cushy job in Queens for the lowly XFL. However I'd like to think Tebow's competitive spirit would make him want to give quarterback one more try to shut up the haters (of which there are many). 

Plus Tebow puts asses in the fucking seats. If you're trying to convince people to pay to watch this glorified semi-pro bullshit you need a face of the league that is polarizing. If there's one thing Tim Tebow is it's polarizing. Just maybe not as much as the next man on the list. 

2. Colin Kaepernick

Wow what seamless transition! I really should get paid to do this.

The one thing I know about wrestling other than it being fake it's that you need a great heel. Enter stage left Colin Kaepernick. If McMahon wants to put even more asses in the seats then the first thing he should do is sign Colin Kaepernick. Solely for the fact that his inbred, white trash, redneck fan base can buy tickets just to boo the shit out of this man in person. Money is green whether they like you or not.

If there's one thing Vince McMahon is it's a great marketer and promoter. Every great story needs a villain. Kaepernick fits the bill perfectly. Plus he's a pretty good quarterback that should have a Super Bowl ring he will light up the league. 
​

1. Johnny Manziel

Johnny Manziel was made to play in the original XFL. It's an absolute shame that he was only 8 when the league started because he could've been the original He Hate Me. 

As of now McMahon is trying to protray the new XFL as a clean, family friendly football. Saying nobody with a criminal record including DUIs is allowed to play which would make Johnny Football ineligible. I hate to take this stand because drinking and driving is a very serious thing that people shouldn't do, buuuut it has a lot of different levels. If you didn't hurt anybody IMO it's no harm no foul.  Just don't do it again. That shouldn't strip us as fans the opportunity to watch Johnny Football run around like a wild man.

​ All I'm saying is a lot can change in two years. Once we're getting closer to 2020 and the buzz starts dying down the league is going to need a saving grace to get people talking, to create a buzz if you will. That saving grace will be Johnny Football. This league needs Johnny Manziel. It will have Johnny Manziel. Johnny Manziel to the XFL is something the world needs.



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Could you imagine XFL playoffs that faces Tim Tebow vs. Colin Kaepernick in the kneeling bowl? Man this has my blood flowing. Make it happen Vince, make it happen!!!!

Song: Red Morning Light
Artist: Kings of Leon
Album: Youth and Young Manhood