  On Valentine's Day, Apple TV+ finally gave Ted Lasso fans a taste of the two-time Best Comedy Series Emmy winner's third (and potentially, but hopefully not final) season. I just turned on Youtube on my TV for some background music while I tinkered on photoshop before going to the gym, and BAM! Apple dropped another Ted Lasso S3 crumb (six hours ago). After two viewings, I've caught the following in conjunction with the first teaser.
I've been rewatching in preparation for S3. Today I watched the Christmas episode, so Nate's dark (or should I say grey?) turn is upcoming, but I can't wait to see how his situation with Rupert's new club plays out on the pitch!
I simply refuse to believe this will be it for the show. Now refusing to believe something doesn't make it any less accurate, right, far-right fascists? I just have a hard time believing everybody behind such a successful and beloved show would call it quits so soon. This isn't the NFL. You don't need to retire too early to prevent brain damage. Keep chasing the bag and making killer content. You aren't Luke Kuechly. Actually, that example low key stinks because Luke probably held on too long. Ted Lasso hanging it up after three seasons is somewhere between Chris Borland and Blake Martinez, except they were as well-decorated as Kuechly. If I watch it again and slow shit down like the Zapruder Film, I'm sure I'll pick up even more deets, but I'm trying to improve my idea-to-finished product efficiency (holy shit I spelt that right first try). We're not going into extra time here. Ted Lasso is back in like two weeks, and I can't fucking wait!
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I LOVE THIS TEAM!!!!!
In my younger days, when Boston sports meant more to me than essentially every part of human existence (2001-2020ish), my true "favorite" team swapped more than a 70s or 2023 key party.
There's been this mostly truthful narrative over that era about Boston being the city of champions (it is), but if we're being honest, Tom Brady and the New England Patriots are primarily responsible for that title. Of course, the once-great Boston Red Sox and their 4-0 World Series record helped. As I gain some steam, I realize this might not be super quick, but it's a new week, and I'm just freestyling. I could be a tad baked ziti right now. Sue me (don't really, though). I feel like I've written the following sentence 60 different ways over the life of DOL, but I know how "lucky" Boston sports fans are to experience this bevy of 21st-century championships. That being said, the Boston Celtics are only responsible for one of the region's 12 big four titles since 2001 (as are their landlord Boston Bruins; both are 1-2 in their respective league's finals since 2001.) I love the Celtics, but even during my best days, I've been a 40-60ish game-a-season guy. I know what's going on and try to watch as much as I can, but life happens, and sometimes there are just better things to do than watch C's-Pistons on a Wednesday night. I wanted to watch C's-Sixers with my bois Saturday, but the Newport cobblestone was hot on a 20-degree night, and I had to make a business decision. That's not to say I didn't sneak some peaks on YoutubeTV when I was totally pulled over and not in the mini screen in the corner of my GPS, but I missed the WILD ENDING in real time :(
There were days when I was the stereotypical boastful Boston fan, but 18-1 will change a teenage boy forever. Throughout my fandom, I've evolved. Hell, I've even abandoned, but I'm rarely the confident this-team-is-going-to win-it-all guy.
I mean, I hope the C's take home the Larry OB trophy this summer. After coming so close last year, I want it baaad. But I'm also a realist. Currently owning the best record in the NBA (barely) does not mean a damn thing in the playoffs. This isn't exactly groundbreaking stuff here, but from a casual viewpoint (but growing every day now that football's over...I watched enough Clippers-Nuggets last night to see Jokić's weird sex/kitty/hard foul? scratches) it's pretty wide open.
Giannis is hurt, but the Bucks haven't lost in basically a month. The West is loaded. Even though Philly is Philly, they're still a good basketball team. Those fuckers in Miami are never dead. I'm well aware that Banner 18 is no sure thing.
This Celtics team has had its fair share of championship Blu-ray moments this year, and Tatum's game-winner Saturday night is one of them. I have to give some love to my man Big Al though. It's still hard to believe how great he's been for us in his second stint after how low things got for him while he was away. I feel like there was a "he's cooked" narrative going around, but in reality, Al is cooking. Holy fuck I wanna hit myself for that corniness, but I'm soooo bummed I didn't get to see Big Al rain FIVE three balls in the second half. I would've been so fucking fired up.
I love Al. I hope to fit into his shirsey someday soon!
2018 ECF Game 2
Game-winning 3 balls help people forget about poor shooting nights (a decent second half made the numbers less ugly), but as good as JT is (and he's only getting better), he's still mixing in too many like 3/18 nights. It's not rocket science, but the Boston Celtics cannot win a championship if Jayson has two of those nights in a seven-game series. Despite more ugly shooting percentage nights than you'd like to see from a young star, there's no denying the clutchness of Jayson Tatum.
Masked Jaylen's been eating (don't forget 35 in the ASG!).
This team is deeeeep, and I'm trying to enjoy the ride. Wins like Saturday's are fantastic, but I'm ready for the playoffs. I want Spring. I'm so over winter. Home court adv would be nice, but we saw last year when the Celtics won the East in Miami; it's not essential. I want to be healthy. When our best starting 5 is healthy, we're hard to beat. Just like in real life, health is number one.
I worked late Saturday, then was with family all day yesterday, so I didn't get a chance to say it, but that game that I saw like 9 minutes of was fucking awesome. I haven't been back to the Garden for a game (I was there in September for Florence) since Game 6, but that's likely changing soon. I need to get to one of these last home games. When the C's return to the Finals, I wanna be there. I fucking love this team, and it's been a while since we've won it all. Like yes, I know, all four Boston teams have won, and some fanbases are still waiting for their first ring. Like, think about Minnesota fans. Outside of the Twins 30 years ago, it's been bleak AF. I feel for those people. But when you're always in the mix and constantly a contender, getting close and not sealing the deal may be worse. The Boston Celtics won their 17th championship on June 17th, 2008. According to a date calculator, that's 5369 days ago. It's been nearly 15 years. I'm 31. That was half a lifetime ago. I was just wrapping up my sophomore year of HS and had a fucking buzz cut.
I'm enjoying the ride, but I also don't wanna sound like some loser who's cool with not winning. I want this C's team to win it all a lot. It's been four whole years since Boston's last parade. If I'm as down as many LBs as I hope to be in late June, I can't think of a better place than a C's parade to add to the whore summer tour. I've got some serious time to make up for. I guess that's pretty much it for this quickish s/o to the Boston Celtics. I can't say it enough, I love this team. the 44-17 C's are at MSG tonight, and that's a game I will certainly be watching. Him has been beaten to death lately, ladies, gentlemen, theydies, and gentlethems; I present Jayson TatHIM.
Song: Karma Police
Artist: Radiohead Album: OK Computer (1997)
This is me now. I finally get it.
 I know there are 94 different streaming services to keep up with to the point where conventional cable almost makes more sense, but this is how life is now. Sure, it's total bullshit that multiple streaming places have returned to once-a-week releases. I mean, I get why they do it. It's let the show be in the public consciousness longer. That makes sense to me. If you spit out 10-15 episodes at once, people will binge it within two weeks (usually within two days), and then your show slowly sinks to the depths of the internet ocean. AppleTV+'s Shrinking is just so good that I wish I got it all at once. I hate waiting! Last Thursday, I started watching Shrinking. At this point, four episodes were out, which was perfect for me because it did allow me to get into a mini-binge. It's about a bunch of therapists, but Jason Segal's character, Jimmy, is the protagonist (s/o junior year English). He decides to try a different approach to help his patients---  ---with brutal honesty. Like when Jimmy tells SNL's Heidi Gardner (Grace) and her juicy boobies to leave her scumbag husband.  There are other examples too, but the photo selection for this show is limited; plus, she wouldn't have let them thangs breathe if they didn't want niche bloggers to talk about them. Also, I'm not a spoiler guy, and I'm tryna be vague as possible while also giving you enough detail to be like, "okay I'll check it out." Jimmy's wife, Tia, died in a car accident before the series started. They don't give you an exact date when she died, but it's been a little over a year. Jimmy's understandably had a rough go of it, which has sort of caused him to neglect his teenage daughter, Alice (don't feel weird, she's actually 21).  At the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Center where Jimmy works, he has an awesome coworker named Gaby. She's tight with Jimmy and was his dead wife's best friend. As a water guy, I deeply appreciate her dedication to h2o.  Their superior is Dr. Paul Rhoades, played by Harrison Ford. Paul has Parkinson's and is juggling all that entails. He's got an excellent strategy for dealing with unhappiness and low key fucks with THC.  He also secretly meets with Alice to discuss dealing with the loss of her mother and her current relationship with her dad. Their interactions are always super cute.  Shrinking was created by Bill Lawrence (Scrubs, Ted Lasso), Jason Segal, and Brett Goldstein (Roy Kent on Ted Lasso). It's definitely a dramedy, but there are plenty of laughs in every episode. This is where I get self-conscious as a writer, but as someone who's been going to therapy for the last four years, I fucking love this show. It's incredible. You fall for the cast almost immediately. I haven't even gotten into Sean, Brian, Liz, or Liz's husband yet. Brian's arc is beautiful, and I can't wait to see where it goes. The emotions in this show are so fucking raw and honest. I love seeing this side of mental health professionals. I'm sure it's frustrating to hear people complain constantly and not make the easy choices to fix their lives.
New episodes drop on Fridays, and so far, there's been six. They're about a half hour each, although the first one was a little longer. I've seen other articles saying it too, but it is super cool to see an 80-year-old playing an 80-year-old and the health issues that come with that. Shrinking is very Grace and Frankie in that way. Oh, the soundtrack is fucking awesome too. I cannot recommend Shrinking enough. AppleTV+ is worth it, but if you're an iPhone user, which statistically, you probably are...if you don't have Apple One, you're fucking up! Song: Second Dinner Artist: Donny Benét Album: Mr. Experience (2020) I fucking love this guy!
So, I'm sorta new to this being up before 3 pm thing, and as I was getting ready to post today's SOD on my IG story, I was like, man, WTF am I gonna do today? I already caught a Madden W and have a chiro appointment at 4:30; you gotta get some Barstool caliber blogs out (but about what?!), then bam, I see this!
I actually have a free pass to the Pats HOF on my dresser as we speak. There are more ways to make content than simply the written word (even though that's my favorite). Your boi's gonna rinse off and go say what up to THE Greatest Ringless Patriot of the Belichick era. IMO, Logan Mankins is a Hall of Famer. The fact that he wasn't on the 2014 Patriots is so fucking bittersweet, and idk if I'll have the balls to say that IRL, but I'll sure be thinking it. Fuck this is dope. I'm jazzed up. He'll be the second former Patriot lineman I've spoken to before. On the 4th of July 2009 (summer going into my senior year of HS), I worked at Narragansett Town Beach, and Dan Koppen came with his family. I was working the entrance he came in at with a buddy who also happened to be in my advisory, and I was like, damn that's Dan Koppen. I wasn't positive even though he was literally wearing a Pro Bowl tank top (2007 was his lone appearance), but I worked up the courage to leave my post, walk onto the beach, and ask him if he was Dan Koppen. He said he was, and I said I didn't wanna bother him and his family just wanted to s/o him out, mention how I'm a lineman too and wish him good luck for the upcoming season. I gotta hurry so I can see my guy, get this autograph, and pay my respects to a legend. The man played a whole year with a torn ACL. I'll have to tell Logan about that Koppen encounter when we chill, and obvi I'll find a way to pepper this in.
Song: Always Get This Way Artist: The Aces Album: I've Loved You For So Long (2023) The Aces are one of the most under-appreciated bands in music rn. I've fw'd with them since I first heard them in 2016 or 17. I love their sound. "Always Get This Way" came up on my "New Music Mix" on apple, and I was like, oh, new Aces tunes? LFG!! They did not disappoint. Fuck it; we're going with a lil bit of two-for-Wednesday, as the old saying goes. This just autoplayed, and I think I like it more than the actual SOD, but for now, it's an uncredited quasi-P.S. post. 
Madden is my favorite video game. I played a couple games before I started blogging today. I've gotten almost every year's game since I was in middle school. Anybody with a brain knows the product has been trash for far too long.
EA knows that there are plenty of football fans (like the dude writing this blog) addicted to the thrill of competition and outsmarting strangers. So they update the rosters, change two things (usually the kicking meter), and call it a day. It's fucked. I stopped playing franchise mode a couple of years ago and didn't realize there was a significant issue with file corruption. I just learned this during blog prep and was pretty shocked.
Madden 23 has been caught up in controversy after controversy over the last few months, and EA management has taken notice. Sources have told Insider Gaming that Madden 24 is a "make or break" release for the franchise.
"The discount for players who lost their franchise is only the beginning," one close to the game’s development said. "EA has big plans for Madden 24 and the management of the game knows how big of a year it is. Not just for the game, but for their future in their positions." The discount being referred to is the 50% discount EA announced for any Madden 23 players that lost their Connected Franchise save due to an update pushed by the team at EA Tiburon causing save files to become corrupted. Those players will also receive an invite to the game’s closed beta. Another source says that the game's sales ultimately won’t matter as much for Madden 24. If the game releases and suffers similar issues to Madden 23, it’s going to lead to a lot of change among the game's leadership. The negative response to the game, which management believes is completely justified by the franchise corruption issues, has forced many inside EA Tiburon to have a "now or never" mentality surrounding the franchise.
Since EA has an exclusive license to produce the only NFL video game, they've been mailing it in since Brett Favre was behind center (and long before he defrauded poor people). The lack of competition has caused the product to suffer (no way??). I'm glad to see them at least vocalize that change is coming.
I love John Madden. He is football. His name being on the game used to mean something. When I started playing Madden, it was his voice on the call. All the fans are asking for is a game that doesn't suck. Take some pride in your work one fucking time, EA. How is it that Madden 04 is significantly better than any game of the last decade? Madden 04 is gonna turn 20 years old this fall!!! Imagine if all technology peaked in 2004?? Sometimes I feel like football fans, in general, sort of romanticize NFL 2K5, but I had that game, and it was fucking incredible. All the hype is valid AF. First off, it was only $20. The gameplay was so ahead of its time. How is it that I'm in my 30s, and football games were at their best when I was a tween? I wrote a filler blog last about the 10 Madden Commandments, and tbh it's not my best work (I lost stream after like 6 things I was really passionate about), but I think most Madden fans agree there are some simple solutions to improve the game. I'm gonna spitball a few and that will be it for this blog. I don't need to get on my soapbox about how greed and a lack of competition (what are those a product of again?) lead to the demise of one of the premiere video games ever created. Let's just hope the game improves, and if it doesn't, hopefully some other company takes the reins and comes up with something better. Here's some free advice from your boi Ole Dozo to bring Madden back to its former glory and beyond.
I'm sure there's more, but I think that's plenty of free advice for a company that actively robs its users. I love John Madden and hope the game named after him can get back to its glory days or find a new home that will give it the respect it deserves.
Song: Yes I'm Changing
Artist: Tame Impala Album: Currents (2015)
Would you believe this is Tame Impala's first appearance as a dozonlife.com song of the day in 2023?? I was shocked too. My favorite solo artist that's also a band likely holds the record for most SOD appearances, but when it's low key been 3 years since their last album it's much easier to mix others in.
I've been on a huge 90s kick for the last few months. I listen to STP everyday at the gym. I still play Currents straight-through (ok I usually skip Nangs) like twice a week so fuck it, it's getting some love today before another prolific writing day by one the world's greatest untapped resources (my brain). DOL diehards know it's my all-time favorite album. Your boi is on fire rn. I am in a great place and things are only looking up. I'm getting my hashtag good guy on big time next week when I donate some of my luscious locks to someone in need.
I'm Willing to Bet My Entire Reputation that Jonathan Gannon Will Be a Complete Failure In Arizona2/20/2023
There's been plenty of stuff going on domestically and abroad, so it's super understandable if you missed the lowly Arizona Cardinals hiring their new head coach, but that's why ya boi Ole Dozo is here.
I appreciate advanced numbers and analytics. I value their importance, but sometimes you have to go off vibes and vibes alone. This case is one of them. How can you expect this goober to lead grown-ass men?
Those eyes have about as much life in them as JFK and chapstick is legal in all 50 states, my guy!
The Arizona Cardinals are historically one of the biggest laughing stocks in not just the NFL but all big four Northern American sports, so it is no surprise that they'd replace Kliff Kingsbury with Murr from Impractical Jokers' hardo twin.Let's not forget they haven't had a tight end record a 100-yard game since 1989!
I'm well aware that my blogs don't exactly capture a ton of eyeballs and that my social media presence (despite my efforts) is all but existent, so what I'm about to say doesn't mean much,,, but damnit, I'm a man. And a man is nothing without his word. I am giving you, the loyal DOL reader, my word that Jonathan Gannon will be a complete failure in Arizona. Full disclosure, I didn't know this dude's name when he was Eagles DC, but his defense did give up 31 points to a gimpy Patrick Mahomes, that was barely on the field. I've never seen more open receivers than Kadarius Toney and Skyy Moore's touchdowns in my football life.
I understand there's much more to being a good head coach than your charisma. Bill Belichick exists, and I've watched him for over 2/3s of my life. Maybe if Twitter existed in 2000 and the Pats forced Bill to record some corny ass video, his would fucking suck too, but even if that were the case, eight-year-old Dozie wouldn't have noticed.
It's so much more than just that intro video. Here's Gannon interacting with some of his players.
I am judging this book by its cover, and if I'm wrong, hand up; that's on me, but I don't think I will be. This man may be a nice guy and a good father. I'm not saying that he's not. I know basically nothing about him. Maybe he loves Tame Impala and Mac DeMarco, and I'm going to feel like a real jerk, but based on that mug, I doubt it.
That's a man who thinks music is a waste of time. I've also seen comps to Pee Wee Herman and the robot legs guy from Grandma's Boy. The second I watched that intro video, I called my shot.
I was earlier to this story than most. Over the weekend, people started realizing this guy may be a serial-killer or at the very least a creep and I decided to double-down.
People forget that In 2020, shortly after the Natty, I bet a toe that Joe Burrow (barring injury) would make the Pro Football HOF.
I feel great about that idiotic (in hopes of blowing up) wager and am following that stunt up with the tattoo tweet. If Jonathan Gannon lasts over three seasons, I will get a square-inch Arizona Cardinals tattoo on a TBD section of my body. I wish I gave a record he has to match or beat, but that's the tweet I put out there, and I'm gonna respect it (especially since it currently has 0 likes).
Now, the contract situation could fuck me. Idk how much guaranteed money this dude has on the table. I could be setting myself up for failure, especially since he's gonna get a free year due to Kyler's ACL tear, but fuck it, we're already here and I'm writing my 5th blog of the day. I have plenty of square inches to spare on this ever-shrinking body of mine. Getting it on loose skin that eventually gets removed is fair game!!
Come 2026 (it's gross to see that written out), Jonathan Gannon will no longer be the head coach of the Arizona Cardinals, and if he is, I'll get a tattoo of their logo. Should I pussy out, you can ridicule me, as I clearly risked my reputation in this blog's title.
Also, calling the Arizona Cardinals "the birds," or "bird gang" is fucking outrageous. It's like when people call the White Sox "the Sox." They're not. This is why learning history is important, people!!! The Lions hired Matt Patricia after his defense got shredded in a Super Bowl, and the Arizona Cardinals have not learned from Detroit's mistakes and Patricia's 13-29-1 record. Gannon's defense that was allegedly one of the best in the league couldn't get off the field or force a stop in the second half (even after a 17-play 45 minute drive by the Eagles offense that gave them plenty of rest). I smell 3-14, 7-10-1, then fired after a 2-5 start in 2025. This guy is a fucking dork, and professional athletes will not respect him. Plain and simple! How is somebody from the Bobby Petrino* Falcons a NFL head coach???? |
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