Can Dozie Go Two Straight Matches Without Losing? Tune into #DozVsTheDozen 49 tn @ 7:05 to Find Out!
The OFFICIAL #DozVsTheDozen rules:
Spoiler Alert: I didn't lose in #DVTD 48! Ya boi is coming fresh off an official result; a tie against team Minihane! We turned it all the way up to 11 like Spinal Tap. I haven't posted it to Youtube yet, but it's coming tonight along with tonight's match (barring an embarrassing performance). I tried listening to the master tape omw home from getting my old car detailed, but since I hadn't downloaded the episode yet off of my live archives, the connection froze, so I gave up on having it ready pre-show.
Tonight's match between (8) Experts and (10) urMom is a tall order for the Doz man, with both teams hovering around 11 PPM, but it is an order I'm up for.
The last time I faced off against urMom, I put up a 14 spot, which is enough to win on most nights. Unfortunately for me, since they too were able to steal points from the abysmal Team Nightmare, I ended up losing 17-14-4 in #DVTD 39. However, one of my four (and counting) wins of the 2022 season did come against Experts in the Battle for Arizona Finals. I currently sit at 4-11-2 in the 2022 calendar year (when I started keeping track of W/L), but am averaging 10.18 PPM....if the math holds up (and that's with two terrible contests where I scored four and six points respectively).
urMom's advanced numbers are in many ways better than Experts, but I'm going like baseball writers before, like 2009, and looking strictly at wins. Experts are 12-6, and according to ME, a slight favorite at -1.5, O/U: 22.5.
There is only ONE place to catch live episodes of #DozVsTheDozen, and if you're unaware of that location, I highly suggest that you continue reading this run-on sentence. The show starts approximately (we kicked off a hair early yesterday) at 7:05 pm EST on my IG, that's short for INSTAGRAM @dozonlife. If you're watching on a desktop computer, that's www.instagram.com/dozonlife. 5-11-2 looks SO much better than 4-12-2. Tune in tonight LIVE at 7:05 on IG/dozonlife to find out if we get there! I can't wait to see ya in the comment section! #HireDozo
Song: Treat Me Like a Slut (2022)
Artist: Kim Petras
Album: Slut Pop
Happy Trans Day of Visibility. Trans women are women, and if they want to be treated like sluts, who the fuck am I to stop them? Like the late Chris Cornell famously said "to be yourself is all that you can do (all that you can do)."
Eric Church Canceled a Show in San Antonio to Go to the Final Four (big UNC fan) and People are PISSED
A country superstar with North Carolina ties has canceled a concert to attend Saturday night's Battle of the Blues game in the NCAA Tournament.
CMT reports Eric Church, who attended Appalachian State University and is a self-proclaimed UNC basketball fan, canceled his Saturday show at the AT&T Center in San Antonio, Texas, so he can watch the Tar Heels play the Blue Devils in the Final Four game.
Ross Martin, a reporter for Inside Carolina, tweeted a screenshot of the announcement from Ticketmaster, which features a direct statement from Church himself.
The statement reads in part, "This is the most selfish thing I’ve asked the choir to do: give up your Saturday night plans with us so that I can have this moment with my family and sports community."
Church also writes, "Woody Durham always said, 'Go where you go and do what you do,' thanks for letting me go here and be with the Tar Heels."
Church's message to his fans about the cancelation.
It takes a lot for me to blog about non-Orville Peck country music news, but this story is the perfect crossroads of music, sports, and hashtag good guy-ness, so I had to chime in. As you likely already read, country music superstar and North Carolina native Eric Church canceled a show in San Antonio (Texas) scheduled for Saturday night to watch UNC-Duke in New Orleans (Louisiana) at the Final Four.
Fans are not thrilled about his decision!
Ya boi is Natalie Imbruglia times Rip "Torn" on this one. Part of me is like this is a super scuzzy thing to do to your fans. It's the antithesis of a hashtag good guy move; keep a commitment one time! Even though I'm sure a chunk of his fans think it's a hoax, COVID fucked up people's social lives, and this could be their first big show since things started opening up. So I understand that disappointment/anger. I'm still bummed that I missed out on Thundercat in March 2020.
Sure, Church/TicketMaster is issuing full refunds on the tickets (which means he's taking a significant hit on this decision). Still, people who planned on traveling to the show and already booked flights, hotels, rental cars, child care, etc., likely won't be able to get refunds on those expenses, which stinks. Maybe you had a bachelor/ette party planned that you've been looking forward to for months. I get being upset in those spots. Sure, I don't understand why someone would travel far and wide to fucking San Antonio of all places in April for one show (music festivals are a different story), but I'm sure some people are like, why would you see Tame Impala twice in five days (which I recently did)? ***this is why***
So I'll try to be less judgy than usual, even though it's so fucking easy to make fun of slow-talking, Capitol storming, sister-fucking, country fans. (I kid...sorta)
But then part of me, the sports fan in me who went to David Ortiz's last regular-season game at Fenway and Tom Brady's return to Gillette Stadium, totally gets the appeal of attending a "once in a lifetime" sporting event. Now that I've saved up a LIL money, I've used it to experience things I would've had to skip out on in the past because I was broke. Like, I would've never dropped $1500 on a pair of Pats tickets in 2017, but I can afford it now and wanted to experience that game with my dad, so I fucking flexed, NBD.
If I were a millionaire like Eric Church and loved UNC, I'd likely do the same thing and you probably would too. I'd want to buy tickets to see the first-ever NCAA Tournament matchup between UNC and Duke with my family and friends; ESPECIALLY when there's the chance, it could be the final game of Coach K's career. This is one of the most hyped games in NCAA history and has the potential to be an all-time night in the life of a UNC fan. If you consider yourself a UNC super-fan and have the funds, you'd be a fool to miss this. It's what you dream of as a sports fan. Plus he even admitted it was a selfish move. At least he was honest, cause it is a selfish move, but also one I think most normal people can get behind. What would happen if he said it was canceled due to "mental health issues**," so people would lie about him being brave, then he got spotted at the game? It's like someone breaking up with you because they fell out of love. Would you rather they were honest and ended it or strung you along, constantly cheating because they don't care about you? They're not perfect analogies, but I'm just saying he was truthful about the cancelation which should count for something.
I linked one of the tweets and saw more saying how he didn't even go to UNC, but that does not matter with college fandom. It's low-hanging but true; I witnessed it firsthand and came across this take in middle school...it's super ironic that college sports are so big down south when the education quality is terrible and so many people have no affiliation with "their school." You see a little of it in RI with Providence College and losers who literally graduated from URI but align themselves with PC. When I lived in Jacksonville, it was all "are you Florida or Florida State?" despite likely attending neither. It's just commonplace in college fandom, even though I think it's weird/stupid; it's not that big of a deal and worth getting mad about.
The main thing that I take away from this story is how big of douchebags the "fans" hoping this ruins his career are. Like you really want this guy that you allegedly love to perform to half-full arenas because he slightly inconvenienced you? What kind of fan are you? It's not like I know the personal details of all my favorite artists, but I'd like to think I know a few details about the ones I genuinely love. Like Pearl Jam fans would probably understand if Eddie Vedder postponed or outright canceled a show during the 2016 World Series to see the Cubs break the Billygoat Curse because they know what they mean to him. I'm just saying if you're such a big Eric Church fan, you'd think you'd know about his fandom and have a little better understanding of the situation instead of throwing a pity party online. "Wahhhh I don't get to hear him say Springsteen"
If you're saying, "if he's such a big UNC fan, why would he even schedule concerts during March Madness?" you're an idiot. UNC was an 8 seed this year and, despite being a blue-blood program, they weren't expected to get this far; plus, they're playing fucking Duke during Coach K's last run. It's a perfect storm of Tobacco Road basketball. If they were playing Illinois or Michigan, he's probably not canceling the show. I don't know how many times I have to say it, but I'll say it again...this is a once in a lifetime game for UNC/Duke fans. Of course, a rich super fan is gonna go. That's how the world works.
Now I'm a champion of the common man, woman, and they. I agree, it's not the chillest move by Eric Church, but I also fucking get it. Sure, I can poke fun at simpleton country fans, but you were never a real fan in the first place if this is all it takes for you to turn on someone. Kevin Parker could run me over, and Currents would still be my favorite album of the past decade. Florence Welch could embezzle funds from underfunded public schools, and I'd still love her + the machine. Mac DeMarco could fuck my married sister, and I'd probably just hope it turns into something real so we could be friends. Get over it and go Tar Heels! (it was always fuck Duke)
Calling your fans the "Church Choir" is so fucking corny that it makes me wanna take back any potential back-having this blog may display. It's still fuck Duke, though.
I've said it in previous blogs but in case you're new, I'm a mental health guy. I literally had an appointment with my shrink today, but I hate how "mental health" has become a no follow up, everything is fine excuse because some ass holes take advantage of that and ruin it for those who are actually struggling.
I know everybody is watching the Timelord-less (GET WELL SOON!!!!) Celtics take on the Miami Heat but when you get a chance, matches 45-47 of #DozVsTheDozen are now available on the youtube machine. Like and subscribe. Like and subscribe. Like and subscribe! #HireDozo
As I type this blog, I am re-listening to the past three episodes of #DVTD for their Youtube approval and uploading. I've already finished last night's episode, but I want to upload them chronologically. I'm about halfway through the episodes and hope to have them uploaded by the end of the day (5 am).
Regarding tonight's special Wednesday night match (we've got Wednesday shows for the rest of the regular season), it features one of the best players in the entire league vs. one of Barstool's sexiest employees. I'll let you determine who is who.
In (4) Minihane vs. (t-11) Misfits, IMO, this match comes down to the contemporary shit. Kirk will crush his old stuff and golf-related niche, but if Pat and Rico can't pull their weight, we could be in store for the upset. I have no read on RDT; I love Hank and won't besmirch his educational acumen. Kelly has minimal sports knowledge, but together their gaps and strengths could complement each other to take down what is essentially a one-man team. That being said, Kirk is so strong that he can probably handle these three....Minihane -4.5, O/U: 18.5.
I'm gonna start adding this to every blog so newcomers can feel right at home. If you know the rules, just skip to the next section.
Spoiler alert, I lost a heartbreaker last night to drop to 4-11-1 on the season. Call me the 2020 Cincinnati Bengals because I smell a bounce back in the mix against these two teams. I don't want to call my shot because win-loss-wise, my record stinks (although my PPG is quite impressive), but I'm giving myself a dozah % (58) chance to win tonight. I just need both teams to bomb their niches and for the celebrity mashups to be people whose names I know.
The ONLY place to catch live episodes of #DozVsTheDozen (tonight is match #48 s/o Torii Hunter) is on my IG (@dozonlife). That's www.instragram.com/dozonlife. I can't wait to see you in the comment section! #HireDozo
Song: U Can't Touch This (1990)
Artist: MC Hammer
Album: Please Hammer Don't Hurt 'Em
Today is Stanley Kirk Burrell, aka MC Hammer's 60th birthday. Happy Birthday, Hammer! You're the reason my generation learned what bankruptcy is! Hooray!!!!
In all seriousness, I'm glad you've gotten things in order. As a man of God, I'm sure you'll tell us it was all part of the plan. Congrats on making it to 60!
After years of complaints that NFL Playoff Overtime rules are unfair (which they were), the league has FINALLY guaranteed both teams a possession, regardless of what happened on the opening drive....unless the defense scores a safety...they didn't include anything about pick/fumble-6s, but I think it's safe to assume those would end the game as well since they previously did!
Thanks to the owners' 29-3 vote, this rule change is only for the postseason and goes into effect immediately.
Say what you want about whether or not a team should "make a stop" in a sport where every rule favors the offense if they "really want to win," but the data over a solid sample size proves that the team who wins the OT coin toss has a distinct advantage. Since 2010 when the former adjusted sudden death rules went into place, every team except for the 2018 Saints and 2021 Chiefs that won the OT coin toss won the game.
The league finally adopted the common-sense notion that both teams in America's most popular professional sport deserve a chance to possess the ball in overtime. Bravo, NFL!
Even though my Patriots highly benefitted from this unjust rule, I'm glad a change was made. It just feels like putting a band-aid on a bullet hole. It doesn't address the fact that it still favors the team who gets the ball first in a league where every rule favors the offense. It'd be one thing if these were the rules in 1971, but in today's NFL, everything is skewed towards the offense.
If both teams score a field goal or touchdown with the same outcome on the PAT/2 point try, it basically becomes sudden death. The argument goes from "I can't believe X didn't get a chance to possess the ball" to "I can't believe X didn't get a chance to match." It's like if a baseball game went to extra innings and the away team scored a run in the top of the 10th, the home team matched in the bottom of the inning, then in the top of the 11th, the away team scored, and the game ended.
Again, this is better than the previous rule; I just wholeheartedly believe my "overtime innings" proposal would be the best and most impartial way to end things, but as we know, living in a country that legislates bigotry, life is not always fair. Fingers crossed, though! Hopefully, this is just the first step towards an idea similar to mine. I don't even need credit; I only want to help make my favorite sport even better, but this is a step in the right direction.
You are in luck, my friend. This week at The Dozen and every remaining one of the regular season, there are not 1, not 2, but 3 matches of trivia in a sentence format that definitely hasn't been milked for all its worth since 2010!
That means you've got three opportunities to watch me compete against future co-workers from the comfort of my bedroom/studio in the battle of brain and wits that is internet trivia. Tonight's match (#186) is (7) Uptown Balls vs. (14) Gen XYZ.
Uptown Balls sit smack dab at .500 and should be safe to make the tournament, but the same cannot be said for one of last season's Final Four teams. Gen XYZ has struggled record-wise this season, although they're coming off a convincing 13-7 win over defending champion Honker on January 25th. I don't think I'm telling tales out of school when I say that XYZ doesn't exactly move the needle in the fan voting department, so they'll likely need a win tonight to ensure a spot in the top 15.
Incase you're new to #DVTD, here's a rules refresher.
Idk what's going on with the Dozen Insider. I just searched for that account and found nothing, so maybe it's time for Ole Dozo to take back the line setting reins? I'm saying Uptown Balls -1.5, O/U: 20.5.
#DozVsTheDozen airs exclusively on my IG (@dozonlife) starting at 7:05 pm EST (tn is match 47!). I highly suggest following the boi, so you get notifications when the show begins. That's www.instagram.com/dozonlife. I think tonight's the night we break that elusive million/double-digit viewer threshold. I can't wait to see ya in the comments!
Sorry, I'm a little behind with uploading previous matches to Youtube. I'll do my best to get squared up by the end of the week!
Song: Angelica (2022)
Artist: Wet Leg
Album: Wet Leg
This might be the greatest verse in rock history:
"I don't know what I'm even doing here
I was told that there would be free beer
I don't wanna follow you on the 'gram
I don't wanna listen to your band"
Last night, I made my first appearance behind the wheel to ub** since New Year's Eve and was battling terrible service throughout the night. I turned my phone off and on like five different times (which obviously did the trick). Unfortunately, right before 11:30 pm, once my phone rebooted, I opened up Twitter and this was the first thing I saw:
Taylor Hawkins, the drummer for Foo Fighters, passed away at 50.
The news was shocking and had me rattled for the rest of my shift. I had already listened to my favorite Foo Fighters song, "These Days," multiple times at work. This is just absolutely devastating news.
After Dave Grohl, Taylor was easily the band's most recognizable member and the heartbeat of Foo for a hair over 25 years. He was also Dave's best friend. My thoughts are with Taylor's wife Alison and their three kids, but knowing his relationship with Dave and what he went through with Nirvana's untimely demise, I can't imagine what he's going through.
Not only was Taylor Foo Fighter's drummer and occasional frontman, but I learned during a Wikipedia rabbit hole during the previews for Studio 666 that he was Alannis Morrisette's drummer during the Jagged Little Pill tour.
Not only that, but he made a pretty passable flight attendant.
Taylor's spirit, energy, and sense of humor will live on through his art, but this loss will hurt for some time. Maybe 50 years ago, 50 would be considered old, but in today's day and age, it's still super young for a life to end. Plus, when you look at Taylor, he did not seem 50 years old. Like I think back to when my dad was 50, and those two people couldn't be bigger opposites. Taylor had three kids and so much more life to live and art to make. Who knows where Foo Fighters go from here? Part of me wouldn't be surprised to see them call it quits, while the prospect of Dave slide back to drums in Taylor's honor would be pretty cool.
I was supposed to see Foo Fighters at Boston Calling 2020, which got canceled due to this whole pandemic situation you might've heard of. But just like my future co-worker Robbie Fox ended his blog with, I'll leave you with this. Obviously, money plays a factor, and believe me. I totally get that; I've missed out on so much being broke, but when a band you like comes around, go see them (which is why I went to Tame Impala twice in five days earlier this month).
During the pandemic, the line "during these uncertain times" has been said ad nauseam, but life is uncertain even during the best of times. You never know what's gonna happen. Catch all the shows you can. Tell your people you love them. Rest in peace Taylor. You were/are beloved.