Song: There's only so much a soul can take (2021) Artist: Shungudzo Album: I'm not a mother, but I have children I discovered Shungudzo this weekend thanks to Apple Music algies (not to be confused with Hung Dozo). real talk tho: 988 if you need it
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Congratulations to Celtics guard Malcolm Brogdon for the NBA 6th Man of the Year award!! He joins Mike Miller as the only player in NBA history to win this award and Rookie of the Year.
Brogdon added his name to a list of Hall of Famers who've taken home this award while donning a Celtic uniform, Kevin McHale (1984, 1985) and Bill Walton (1986). The C's made the Finals those seasons, winning twice.
Although the NBA has recognized its most outstanding bench player since the 1982-83 season, this is the first year that the Six Man of the Year trophy bares the name of Celtics legend John Havlicek.
After spending the bulk of his career as a starter, Malcolm embraced his role on the defending Eastern Conference champs. In his first season as a Celtic, he averaged 14.9 points, 4.2 boards, and 3.7 assists a night while shooting a solid 48.4% from the floor and 44.4% behind the arc (4th in the NBA) in 67 games.
While Malcolm and the rest of the roster have made it clear their only objective is a championship, recognition usually follows when you're a championship contender. Jayson Tatum and Jaylen Brown both deserve All-NBA bids. I wouldn't be surprised to see either of their names (along with Marcus) on the all-defensive teams.
Even though Brodgon wasn't on last year's team, he knows there's #UnfinishedBusiness to settle. The C's take on the Hawks in Atlanta tonight in attempts to go up 3-0 in the first round. I wouldn't be shocked if the Hawks find a way to win tonight, but this series is OVER. #bleedgreen Song: Thin Ice (2023) Artist: Cobra Man I would've made this Wednesday's SOD, but I gave my guy Bill the b-day pick and, of course, had to do a Cannabis Carol for 4/20 bruuhhhh. I fucking loveee Cobra Man. They've got 2 EPs coming soon AND a concert in Boston in a shade under a month. I cannnnot wait. If you haven't heard these guys yet, you're on thin ice.
Despite minimal success during my lifetime and its history, I love my alma mater's basketball program. I would love to see URI become a mid-major power. I've said before they could eventually get to the level of Uconn, and people look at me like I've got 58 heads. Of course, now it sounds crazy to say, but even though Uconn was in the Big East, they were a nothing program until Jim Calhoun. Over decades they became a blueblood. They play in fucking Storrs, CT. That's not exactly a selling point. With Newport and Narragansett not too far away, I genuinely believe Kingston, RI, could turn into that someday if the school invested in the program, but that's not the focus of this blog.
I'll admit I didn't pay much attention to Archie Miller's first season at URI. I'm not gonna dedicate valuable time to a bottom-feeding, gross season. Call it fairweather or whatever you want. I love URI hoops, but I'm 31, not 17; even as a bum-ass fake adult, I have better things to do than watch URI-Duquesne when they're a combined 9-52. With the transfer portal and NIL, I'm hopeful URI can turn things around quickly. Yes, I worried that URI doesn't have the donors or ties to compete with other schools, but maybe Tarbox Toyota or the Big Blue Bug can give some 4-star recruit a bag. I don't know anything about this dude, but URI just added a guy named Always Wright, and with a name like that, you've got my attention. Always Wright is a swaggy ass name. At the very least, URI will get some buzz when a random blogger or CBSsports writer makes an all-name team for college hoops. If URI is in the A-10 hunt, they'll 1000% say his name on Pardon My Take at some point next season.
When I broke this news to my fantasy league group chat, someone said his brother's name is "All Wright," and tbh, I'm not 100% sure if that was a joke. Maybe there's a black sheep of the fam named Never? My friend said he was serious, but I'm still not sure. Reader, feel free to do some digging and comment your results! Does this dude have a brother named All because if so this family is fucking hysterical.
Based on my research (looking at twitter for 30 seconds), I love the scouting report!!! Willing passer feels like a back-handed compliment but **Kid Cudi in "Up, Up and Away" voice for 4/20 brooooo** whateverrrrr.
RHODY! RHODY! RHODY!
P.S. Fuck Dillon Brooks forever. I love seeing the entire NBA not fw him. This parody song was the brainchild of an idea I had walking back to my car after the gym in January 2020 when I was still a conventional sexy man from my 2019-glow up. Initially, I was gonna record it in my friend's studio, but then the big C happened. I ended up filming this entire video on 4/20/20 during the heart of the Covid lockdown at my then house. It didn't come out perfectly, but I'm proud of this piece for where I was in my content "career." I wish a few lyrics were different, but it's still a solid cannabis-themed parody song. Have fun today, and stay safe. Be careful with edibles---signed a guy who might've gone to the ER from a panic attack in August from an edible that sorta melted in my car, but I ate anyways...allegedly. R.I.P. David Bowie and the Cheesy Potato Loaded Griller!!!
On April 15th, it didn't hit right away that it was the 10th anniversary of the Boston Marathon Bombing. That's not like me. I'm a date & anniversary (in this case, sadiversary) guy. I'm gonna blame sleeping in and ubin all night, but I've been thinking about that horrific attack all week. As I type this blog at 2:10 am, I have American Manhunt: The Boston Marathon Bombing paused on my TV. I've got 8:11 left in the 2nd of three episodes, so there's a 85% chance I bang out this docuseries tonight after I finish this blog. I'm getting a head start on the blogging day since I'm awake partaking in some holiday festivities.
It fuuuuucks meeeee uuuuup worse than a homemade edible that things that happened my junior year of college occurred A FULL DECADE AGO. I understand that's how time works. It's just crazy to me. Like, holy shit, basically a third of my life has passed since this magical day after a terrible week. I don't need to go into the current state of the Boston Red Sox, so let's focus on one of my favorite teams in sports history: the 2013 Boston Red Sox. Yes, I watched them win the pennant from atop the Green Monster in what will forever be one of the most outstanding experiences of my life. At this point in my life, the Boston Red Sox were one of my biggest priorities. I arguably cared about them more than actually staying alive. While the Sox were off to a surprisingly hot start, things had not gone well for the last few years (which was their longest down stretch since breaking the curse & winning an additional World Series). They hadn't made the playoffs since 2009 when they got swept by the we've-changed-our-name-39-times-Angels-of-California. In 2010, the Sox were too banged up. Chicken and beer ruined 2011. In 2012, the Sox celebrated their 100th season by winning 69 games and employing the man who claims he invented the wrap. Yes, as in the sandwich.
In another, "holy crap, where has all the time gone moment?" I blogged about the 3rd anniversary of Nava's game-winning blast in the early days of dozonlife.com. I love that blogs like that exist so I can see where my head was at in that point in time.
Orsillo's call still gives me goosebumps. It's arguably his best during his storied tenure in Boston. It was simple, yet it said everything. It captured the moment perfectly. Nava's 3-run shot was literally one of those Blu-Ray moments for the 2013 World Series Champion Boston Red Sox. It's such a cliché, but this home run was sooo (one "o" for each run it produced) much bigger than baseball.
This game was on a Saturday. At the time, the Sox were 11-4 and had won six straight. I remember following along during my day shift at DB's Pizza. I had just gotten back from a delivery when it happened. I was 21 years old, in the spring semester of my junior year of college. It had been a rough month---A few days earlier, there was a fake but traumatizing shooting at URI. Academically, it was a tough time for ya boi. There were not chill vibes going on with my then ex-but-still-sorta-gf. Life had definitely been better, and the Sox were a breath of fresh air.
The bombing happened that Monday. I can still remember it pretty clearly. I had just gotten out of the once-a-week class that went along with this Poly Sci lecture and was walking to the RIPTA when I saw what had happened online and saw that the Sox won since I had no service in Washburn Hall. While editing this blog, I looked up the term that I could not put my finger on, and that class was what's known as a "recitation."
That whole week was fucking bananas. This Red Sox-Royals game was not supposed to be the Sox first game back in Boston since the bombing. Friday night's game was postponed due to the ongoing manhunt.
Nava's blast ultimately put the Sox ahead for good, but most people probably remember this game as the first time the Red Sox wore home jerseys that say "Boston" instead of "Red Sox," as Big Papi so eloquently stated during his iconic "This is our fucking city" speech.
Iconic is one of those words that the internet is ruining, but then you've got the fucking FFC endorsing your cursing; that's fucking iconic.
S/O Julius and S/O Daniel Nava for hitting one of the most significant home runs in Red Sox history. Fenway was thriving as he rounded the bases. It didn't win a playoff or World Series game; fuck, it was an April day game against the lowly Kansas City Royals right before they had their brief Renaissance, but Daniel Nava's 3-run home run against on April 20th, 2013, was a season-defining moment for an eventual championship season by a bunch of bearded weirdos. That game and win were crucial for the direction of the 2013 Sox and where things started to feel magical amongst a time of misery.
Ten years have passed since Navs shot a 3-run dinger into the Boston bullpen (caught by ALCS MVP Koji Uehara), but to me, it's one of my favorite moments from my Red Sox fandom and something I'll always think of on 4/20. Even though this is an article that I wrote, on my blog, this story isn't about me. It's about Daniel Nava, Don Orsillo, the 2013 Boston Red Sox, and the resilience of a region after a tragedy. Nava's home run represented rebirth---that people bounce back no matter what happens, and life keeps going. No matter how many future Hall of Famers scumbag lizard person John Henry trades away for pennies on the dollar or fantastic announcers he unceremoniously cans for no reason, the 2013 Boston Red Sox will always hold a special place in my heart. By the looks of this year's Sox pitching staff, there's gonna be a lotttt of 2013 reminiscing on NESN. P.S. Daniel Nava should've been an all-star in 2013. He hit .303 with a .385 OBP and a respectable 66 RBIs. Don't even get me started on his lack of playing time in the playoffs, thanks to dumb-ass John Farrell. Double P.S. I know pitcher wins don't matter to seamheads, but S/O to Clay Buccholz too, for pitching a gem this game to pick up his 4th win of the season. 8 solid innings!
Clay was great that year until he got hurt. He's gotta have one of the strangest career's in Red Sox history. So many highs, even more lows.
Song: One Toke Over the Line (1970) Artist: Brewer & Shipley Album: Tarkio I fucked up using Rick James' "Mary Jane" as the SOD for March 21st, but this isn't a bad alternative to ironically use today. Everybody knows I love One Hit Wonders! (One Toke Over the Line's peak Billboard Hot 100 position: 10) AppleTV+'s Ted Lasso is one of the most critically and commercially successful shows of the 2020s. While the rumors of its third season being its last have not been confirmed, last night's episode was (IMO) the best in the show's three-season run. I've already watched it twice, and low-key might again while constructing this blog. In a character-driven show, it takes time to build up backstories in an organic way, and in S3E6, "Sunflowers," three-plus years of development paid off in this hour-long, never-a-dull moment delight of an episode. After losing a friendly to Ajax 5-0, the entire cast has a variety of nights in Amsterdam that they'll never forget. Whether it be Ted's bunk mushroom tea trip that still opened his third eye and might've helped him unlock the strategy that can save AFC Richmond's season, Roy and Jamie's budding bromance whilst searching for windmills, Rebecca's sexy houseboat night after falling off a bike bridge, Higgins and Will (the kit guy) exploring the red light district (for Jazz!), Colin and Trent Crimm bonding over being gay guys in an unaccepting field, Beard's night as Piggy Stardust or the hijinx of the rest of the Richmond roster deciding how to spend their curfew-less night in Amsterdam, this was easily the most well-rounded, entertaining and overall best episode of the series to date. It was raw and emotional, while still mixing in plenty of laughs. I cannot get over how gorgeous Rebecca (Hannah Waddingham) looked in this episode. Respectfully, I'd trade a year of my life for a weekend getaway with her (and a suitable supply of dick pills). But in all seriousness (even though I'm dead ass about that potential trade @God), the writing and storytelling in this episode were phenomenal. It unearthed so much information about every character: at the very least, Trent is bi (I'm pretty sure he's still married to a woman). Roy Kent never learned how to ride a bike because his Grandpa died. The unnamed bald Dutch dude has the world's slowest dryer (like, are you fucking kidding me? how does it take nearly three hours to dry, maybe four things?) Not to suck my own dick, but as soon as I saw Trent's shoes (even though those socks would repulse any queer person), I knew what was coming next. We also learned that Dani would be overwhelmed by a tulip field, Zorreaux/Van Damme is hashtag horny, and Colin loooooves vanilla vodka (and Trent Crimm can't stand it.) Roy and Jamie are obviously going to become best friends. While it's kinda unbelievable that Roy'd become proficient enough of a cyclist to keep up with Jamie in their search for windmills, this scene brought a little reality to their journey. This line from Jan Maas was perfectly delivered like a through ball into the box. I'm not the biggest Beard guy; his character gives off such "epic bacon," 2012 ironic mustache tattoo; I sign emails with "cheers" energy that I don't love, but as a Bowie fan, he won me back with this shit (and being a shrooms guy). The episode ends with everybody meeting back on the team bus at 10:00 am, as Ted told them the day before. Will might've had a threesome??? Jamie and Roy come back together on a bike while the bum who stole for them takes it away in the cleanest motion you'll see today. Finally, the entire bus joins Rebecca in a rendition of Bob Marley's "Three Little Birds" in a full-circle moment from when it played after they lost the friendly 5-0. MY BAD FOR THE SHAKY FILMING!!! Ted Lasso's first hour-long episode did not disappoint. I didn't do a shot-for-shot breakdown because you should watch the episode (and series) for yourself.
In addition to its excellence, this episode, IMO proved my take about this cast being so strong that the show could survive losing the Ted Lasso character. I don't want that. I'm by no way rooting for it; I'm just saying even though Ted had a significant role in this episode, the other characters and their stories more than carried their weight. I fucking love this show and will be soooo bummed if this season truly is the end. While writing this blog, I saw an article where Sam Obisanya (Toheeb Jimoh) is open to a Sam-led spinoff. I don't really care who the leader of the spinoff is; I've just emotionally invested too much into this show and its characters for this to be the end...especially after such a great episode like "Sunflowers." P.S. This may be quintessential "only I find this hilarious" Dozini content, but if someone with a legit following tweeted this, it'd go viral...or at least viral adjacent. I'm gonna blame 0 likes as of 12:30 am on 4/20 on me being a hashtag good guy and putting the warning up to avoid spoiling people!!! (so if you haven't seen White Lotus and still want to don't scroll down. Apparently you can't embed tweets with content warnings so here's a screenshot that crops the pictures in a bad way. spoiler avoiding spacing
I made this using IG stories lol
I hate to shit on a small business because that is genuinely not my swag. I love small businesses. Fuck big corporations. That doesn't mean I'm ok with lies, and the truth of the matter is Island Deli is deceiving its customers with false advertisements.
The sandwich shop with more former locations than the Super Bowl makes a delicious sandwich. Or I should say, used to since they've recently started using inferior ingredients. Since I no longer live in Gansett and ID closes at like 4 pm, I haven't been there as much as I'd like the last few years, but I got a Wicked Willow (arguably their signature sandwich) in September when I was in town for my fantasy draft (that I ended up winning on NYD 2023). Chicken Salad is arguably the best form of salad, and the old school Wicked Willow (no fuckin' tomato) was delicious.
My memory may be fading as a form of self-preservation, but the big man never forgets a disappointing meal!
Proof from other customers that they've fallen off and that I was once a huge fan.
Look, I get that it's tough to compete as a small business in today's world. I understand the cost of goods is fucked up rn, but that doesn't make it okay for you to keep increasing prices while decreasing quality! That's what big sandwich does. You're Island Deli! Have some pride and decency!
I don't know exactly when ID stopped using Willow Tree Chicken Salad in the Wicked Willow, but the fact of the matter is they no longer do. Their website no longer says Willow Tree while listing the ingredients of the sandwich.
Tomorrow is 4/20 and every year, ID has a $4.20 special for Wicked Willows. They advertised that on their IG today.
I'm been in a no fucks given mood lately (did you see my last blog?) and expressed my disappointment in the comments. Who the fuck is this Zach loser calling ME a fascist (which he clearly got from the "fuck fascists" in my IG bio)???
Calling me a buzzkill doesn't change the fact that I'm right, if anything you're just conceding that what I said was accurate. Look at petty ass Island Deli liking his comment.
I had to clap back at that rude and incredibly inaccurate fascist comment.
The way I see it, Island Deli has two options: change the name from Wicked Willow since that's a lie OR start using Willow Tree Chicken Salad again in your sandwich literally named after the product. At least retire the name if it's just run of the mill peasant "chicken" salad. Hang the Wicked Willow number in the rafters if you can't afford to use the products that made customers fall in love with you. Again, I don't take pleasure in publicly bashing a small business, but what they're doing to their customers is fucked up. Imagine if Pizza Hut started selling Stuffed Crust Pizzas without cheese in the crust and still called them Stuffed Crust Pizzas AND jacked up the price? Willow Tree Chicken Salad is divine and whatever they're using now tastes like cat food. Just because what I said hurt your feelings, doesn't mean it's not true. I may be "Woke Dozo" now to some but please remember that injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. Calling a quasi-Wicked Willow the real thing is an injustice to the good people of southern Rhode Island. This wasn't a fun blog for me to write. I've supported Island Deli since 2010 when me and my buddies got it for lunch while my dad made our Physics Olympics canoe (s/o Vector Martinez & our third place overall finish). But for $12+ after tax, customers deserve quality chicken salad. Shame on you Island Deli! To quote the great Chris Rock, "you can boo if you want to, but ya know I'm right."
P.S. If ID is using Willow Tree again, I take back everything I said and publicly apologize. Like I said, I'm not in Gansett anymore...but this blog (likely) proves that they no longer use Willow Tree, which is fucked up! Double P.S. Does this guy want to meet in the Island Deli/Dunkin Donuts/Dry cleaning place/Liquor Store parking lot???
Triple P.S.
It's soooo encouraging to see there's still people out there who support my journalism and the truth. "Give me willow tree or give me nothing!"
Terms to know before reading this blog:
Fascism: a governmental system led by a dictator having complete power, forcibly suppressing opposition and criticism, regimenting all industry, commerce, etc., and emphasizing an aggressive nationalism and often racism. Lie: a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive; an intentional untruth. Constituent: being a voting member of a community or organization and having the power to appoint or elect. Legislation: the process or result of enrolling, enacting, or promulgating laws by a legislature, parliament, or analogous governing body.
Due to a combination of agonizing back pain, a couple of actual plans, general depression about the state of humanity, loneliness, and feeling lost about continuously pouring my heart into this medium with essentially nothing to show for it, I've been away from the keyboard longer than I would've liked. This is my first blog-blog in nearly a week.
Dozonlife.com is about LIFE and everything that encapsulates it. I would love nothing more for this blog to be filled with sports takes, music information, jokes, & general happy stuff, but life is not always that way. Sometimes there are things take a more pressing issue. I feel like the boy who cried fascism because nobody seems to give a fuck about this country's crumbling democracy. Still, the American Fascist Party (once known as the Republican Party) is dead set on making life worse for Americans while knowing their base is too stupid to stop voting against their self-interests. The GQP doesn't have any actual strategy to improve people's lives. All they care about is control and lining their pockets. Here are some examples of such from the past week!
#1. TENNESSEE---Not only did the Tennessee state legislature expel two black democrats for actually supporting their constituents (while saving the old white lady who did the same thing) but here's how that backward ass state decided to address the gun issues in the Volunteer State.
What a fucking disgrace. I am so happy I didn't last in Tennessee. I shouldn't generalize, though. There are plenty of good people down there trying to do the right thing.
#2. FLORIDA---Ron DeFascist's "Don't Say Gay" bill was never about "protecting children." It was about creating more ignorant Floridians and dehumanizing the LGBTQ+ community. Nearly everything he says is a lie. I cannot wait until this man is out of office, behind bars, or underground.
#3. IOWA---Saying the Republican party cares about the well-being of children is like saying house fires care about the well-being of family heirlooms.
#facts---it's all about control
#4. IOWA---Iowa is spending more money to ensure people don't get the help they need. How Christian of them!?
#5. MISSOURI---Missouri (45th in crime, 30th in education, 42nd in health care) continues to let freedom ring with its priorities!
Missouri: where it's okay to marry pre-teens, but hormone blockers are where we draw the line!
#6. FLORIDA---While it hasn't officially happened yet, Ron DeFascist suggested building a prison next to Disney World because he is a fascist bully who punishes businesses that don't support his hate. Clearly, he cares about the well-being of children. Ron, please have cyanide for dinner tonight.
#7. FLORIDA---Seriously, Ron DeFascist is one of the worst people alive.
#8. FLORIDA---For real though...What about this monster and his policies says "freedom?"
— “Transadon” Mrs. Vanc3 (@Transatron007) April 15, 2023
P.S.
Even though the laws that allow this are terrifying....let's end with a laugh. You need a permit to professionally install fucking eyelashes, but not to operate a weapon!!! 'Merica!
Double P.S.
Ron DeSantis does not care about Floridians, only his own power and fragile ego. Don't forget that he wears lifts because he's insecure about being a short person!
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