If you've ever read DOL before (to anybody at Barstool reading for the first time, welcome to DOL) then you know sometimes spelling can be troublesome for your boy Dozie.
I blame that on my old man, who after nearly 20 still does not know how to spell her name correctly. It's honestly mind boggling. The apple really doesn't fall far from the tree, I suppose. Like my fat genes, and lack of rhythm, I can blame this on my pops.
But it's okay, in 2017 you really don't need to know how to spell. As long as you can get in the same ballpark of the word Google or spell check can usually help you out. Of course we've all had those times where even those services throw up their hands and are like "bruh wtf are you trying to tell me". Definitely a humbling moment, but for the most part technology has been able to help.
Speaking of Google and technology, with this week being dubbed #spellingbee week thanks to the Scripps National Spelling currently taking place, Google has released the most Googled "how to spell___________" words via state. Let me tell you as someone who struggles with spelling I saw many words that I was like "really, bro, you can't spell __________", some I could totally understand where the people of X state were coming from, and then some where you're just embarrassed for them as whole.
Enough with the shitty introduction, let's just dive in with the top 5 easiest words that states don't know how to spell. This is pretty self explanatory, these are easy words (IMO) that many people don't know how to spell.
Top 5 Easiest Words States Don't Know How to Spell
5. South Dakota: "College"
All I know about South Dakota is that Mount Rushmore is there and that I'll probably never set foot in the state. But what I need to know is has nobody is South Dakota seen Animal House? It only features the most iconic use of the word "college" of all time. More than any actual real college, so even if you can't get into or afford school there's no excuse to not know how to spell this 7 letter word. It's only the most famous portrayal of the word ever.
Maybe they don't have colleges in South Dakota? Because if they did they'd know one in about every four dorm rooms has some version of this poster.
4. New Hampshire: "Europe"
I'm not a great speller, but I mean I can do all of the continents. At least the real ones, nobody can live in Antarctica, so it doesn't count.
3. Mississippi: "Nanny"
I know intelligence and Mississippi go together like Israel and Palestine, but come on guys. It has fucking 5 letters, and 3 of them are the same! If you have N you have 60% of the word! Where are you having trouble figuring this one out?
2. North Carolina: "Angel"
At first I almost wasn't going to include this one because I mean I can almost understand the confusion between "angel" and "angle" but then I thought about it. No I can't understand the confusion, take two seconds and sound it the fuck out, you inbred hicks. angEL. EL, EEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLL. Not that hard! Although since nobody at UNC ever has gone to class maybe it's finally coming back to haunt them.
1. New Mexico: "Banana"
Much like "angel", momentarily (another word I needed spell check for) I almost didn't include this on the easy list, but then I thought about it for a second. Gwen Stefani took it upon herself to make sure everybody knows how to spell that potassium (actually got that right first try!) filled fruit.
It's inexcusable to not take the advice of Gwen, she even had a fucking marching band there to help. If that doesn't permanently ingrain a spelling into your brain, IDK what will.
Unlike people, not every word on this list is created equal. Some are definitely (needed help there) a challenge. Here are (according to ole dozie) the top 5 most understandable misspellings.
Top 5 Most Understandable Misspellings
At least with these ones you can understand why people are having trouble getting the correct spelling.
Honorable Mention: West Virginia & Connecticut "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious"
I said most understandable, and while I totally get why people don't know how to spell this word. I don't get how it is the most googling word to spell in two of our 50 states. I guess Mary Poppins still holds up 53 years later? Can't lie I did love that chim-chimney song as a kid. It's a classic movie, but just can't wrap my head around that being the most pressing spelling issue in two states in the year 2017. Being the most ridiculous word on the list doesn't guarantee you entry to the top 5.
5. Tennessee: "Chaos"
While only 5 letters long, in my head those letters together don't make any sense being the word chaos. I understand DNA better than I understand how those letters create that word. For me this is one of the words that spellcheck has told me they've got nothing for me. Try to avoid using it in my writing for that very reason. Can't waste 5 minutes of time trying to get close enough for spellcheck to throw me a bone.
4. Pennsylvania: "Sauerkraut"
For the life of me I would've guessed it's "sourkrout". Sorry, I don't like nasty bitter cabbage. Or Nazis. (Never forget) So any German word I'm out on. Also if there was ever going to be a state that had it's own name on the list that I'd understand, it'd be Pennsylvania. I'm probably like 3 for 100,000 on getting it correct the first time. But (foreshadow alert!) we'll get to that issue later.
3. Delaware & Indiana: "Hallelujah"
I knew I was going to be typing in Hallelujah as I made this blog and still had to look at my notes piece of paper to get it correct. Just a tough one. Anytime you throw a j in the equation all bets are off.
2. Arkansas & South Carolina "Chihuahua"
Straight up, when I first looked at this list I had to stop for a second and try to figure out what that word even was. Had to google image it just to be safe. No shame in not knowing how to spell Chihuahua.
1. Washington, Michigan , Alabama & Maine "Pneumonia"
Dead ass facts B: I've never spelled pneumonia correctly in my entire life.
If you know how to spell pneumonia you're 100% in the minority. I'd guess 35% of Americans could get it right the first time, and even that may be too high. There's a reason it was #1 for 4 states. Granted with Alabama you'd expect a word like "Cousin" or "is it illegal to marry" but I guess most of them already know the deal.
Finally, I leave you with the top 5 most alarming words states don't know how to spell. The difference between this and just straight up easy words from earlier, are that these are just scary that they don't know how to spell it. I'm pretty sure my future boss, Dave Portnoy once said that spelling is the lowest form of human intelligence, but I think even he'd be worried about these mistakes.
Top 5 Most Alarming Misspellings By State
Do not let these people hold your money or watch your children.
Honorable Mention: Georgia: "Grey"
Unlike most of the top 5 here, this is on the most alarming list because it made me scratch my head too. I've always thought that grey was like a bi-spelling word in that it could go either way. Like isn't theater and theatre both acceptable? I thought Grey and Gray was the same way. Who knew? (apparently not me or the entire state of Georgia)
5. North Dakota: "Dilemma"
What is going on in North Dakota where everybody is googling how to spell dilemma? I don't think it's because they want to listen some Nelly and Kelly Rowland from '02. I think something fishy is going on in ND and we need to keep an eye out on these guys. What is the dilemma? I think this could be a positive from the list as a whole that we might be able to uncover what's going on up there. This could be a cry for help..
4. Hawaii: "People"
Yo, you know you're a person, right? That you and more than one person becomes a group of people. How do you not know how to spell what you fucking are? It's like if I couldn't spell depressed, or Lebron couldn't spell cry baby bitch.
3. Rhode Island "Liar"
Ironically, I live in Rhode Island and fucked this up in a text last weekend, although in my defense I was drunk and corrected myself right away.
What worries me is given Rhode Island's shady history, you'd think a bunch of liars and cheaters would be able to spell what they're doing, and I mean come on it's only 4 letters. This is how you get caught lying when you are fucking googling the correct spelling to a 3rd grade word.
2. Idaho: "Quote"
I get that "q" words are rare by nature, but dude/dudette whenever a word has a Q in it, 99% of the time it is followed by a u. I feel like Iraq is the only exception (s/o paramore) If there's one thing I remember from elementary school it is that. U after Q.
Also it's spelt literally exactly how it sounds. No tricks here. Qu-OTE. What do they think it's "quoat"? I don't get it.
Lastly, when I think of "q" words, quote is preeeeetty close to the top, probably after "queen". While I admittedly have my own issues with spelling, if you don't know how to spell quote you are a stupid person, plain and simple.
1. Wisconsin: "Wisconsin"
There's nothing more embarrassing than misspelling your own name. I can remember back in 5th grade I wrote "Ryam" on an assignment by accident, and then by 6th grade I was in another school system. I don't think that was a coincidence (nailed it first try nbd).
Seriously was there ever any doubt what #1 would be? This immediately caught my eye when I first looked at the map. I just don't understand how so many people wouldn't be able to spell the state they are currently living in. I guess if you wanna blame anybody, maybe you can blame it on T-Pain?
But even then, that song came out in what 2008? Wisconsin has been "Wisconsin" as a state since 1848. So they've had plenty of time to get the spelling down pat. Generations of families have lived in the cheese state (they call it that right?) there is no excuse to not know the proper spelling. Especially when it's easy AF.
I live in Narragansett, RI which is wayyyy harder to spell than Wisconsin, but I know it like the back of my hand. When you live somewhere and are exposed to it everyday, usually that helps you remember how to spell it. Especially when it's where you currently are. But what do I know? Other than that people is Wisconsin love cheese and can't even spell where they are. Maybe we can blame the MillerCoors brewing company as well?
That wraps up the breakdown of most googled "how to spell__________" by states in this great nation of ours. What do you think were the easiest ones, most understandable mistakes and ones that just made you feel second-hand stupidity for how they were on the list?
Thanks for reading!