Yesterday after months of speculation the Boston Red Sox finally signed free agent outfielder J.D. Martinez. Even though at times I was apprehensive to this signing due to Martinez' lack of durability, below average defense and consistency throughout his career I am glad the Red Sox signed him. The contract was not nearly as bad as I was expecting. 5 years 110 million with opt-outs after the 2nd and 3rd season. The move makes the Red Sox a lot better (on paper).
Martinez hit a whopping (not to be confused with the whooping cough) 45 outside the park home runs last season in only 119 games played. That is some serious pop, friendo. He had a 4 home run game in early September. Dude can rake.
The Red Sox sure could use the added power in their line-up as they struggled to hit baseballs over the fence last season. I said a Fun Fact about the Red Sox lack of power in a tweet to express my excitement over the signing.
It was clearly a joke, that's why I spelled Arizona wrong. Classic I'm joking tell to not capitalize proper nouns and include one too many I's. Totally not because I can't spell and rarely proofread.Although given the lack of production from the Red Sox I could see how for perhaps a millisecond you could think I was serious. Alas, I was not. Anybody with a brain would quickly realize that it's quite unlikely for one man in only half a season to hit 14 more home runs than all Red Sox infielders did combined in 2014, 2015, 2016 and 2017. We're talking the Red Sox 1st basemen, 2nd basemen, 3rd basemen, and Shortstop over a four year period. 16 individual seasons. I felt it was important to list out the years instead of simply putting 2014-2017 to make it seem more real to show how stupid the people challenging this fun fact were.
Luckily some bright strangers were quick to jump down my internet throat and let me know that I had fudged the numbers. Thank Goodness, there's kids online reading this stuff.
I almost blew my cover and told him was a joke, but I decided to have a little fun with it and brought it upon myself to mess with this guy who gets off on correcting fake stats that strangers make up on line. I had to let Jamie know where I was getting my numbers. Baseball-reference.com is one of my favorite websites to look at baseball statistics. I made a mistake and called it pro baseball reference. Silly me. No wonder why he was so confused. ??
Sadly, Jamie didn't trust me and felt it was necessary to flex his internet muscles by reciting stats he had memorized (good job!) I also was taught that 51 was greater than 45 which I cannot thank Mr. Worthington enough for bringing to my attention. Over all these years I had never realized that.
I did what was only right. I flexed my internet muscles by reciting two thirds of Daniel Nava's slash line from 2013. Something I've got burned into my brain like my birthday or cell phone number. John Farrell nearly cost the Red Sox a World Series by benching Nava for Jonny Gomes who hit like a buck fifty in October. Never forget that Daniel Nava hit .303 in 2013.
Apparently those mind popping stats that were good enough for 8th and 5th in the American League in 2013 meant nothing to Jamie. To not even say wow is insulting.
At this point I had had enough and felt it was time to put Old Yeller to bed.
Credit to Jamie for not once realizing I was not serious during this ordeal.
Then there was Landy.
My favorite part about Landy (sweet name) is that he 100% looked up Pedroia's stats and did some quick math the refute my fun fact. I bet Pedey himself doesn't even know that stat off the top of his bald head.
You never know what you'll come accross on twitter dot com. After the news of Pablo Picasso's death re-broke yesterday I felt it was important to end the day with one more #funfact. RIP Pablo Picasso 1881-2001.