One of my best friends is a Bengals fan. When you parlay that with the fact they've never been a legitimate threat to the Patriots AND my status of a hashtag good guy; I root for them to do well.
Like most people, I fuck with Joe Burrow. He's a stud and v hard to dislike. I genuinely want to see him turn that franchise around for the good people of Cincinnati. It totally has nothing to do with a bet I made on instagram that nobody remembers. In his debut, Joe made a few plays. If you had 23 yard QB-draw for the Heisman winner's first NFL TD, you may cash your ticket.
Despite showing off the wheels, Burrow looked like a rookie making his NFL debut. Trailing by three in the 4th quarter, with the Bengals arguably already in field goal range, Burrow made a decision that will give football coaches nightmares. While you can appreciate Joe's tenacity and fight; sometimes you have to just live for another down. Especially at that point in the game. Inexcusable turnover on FIRST DOWN.
Despite (one of my all time favorite blog words) the pick and zero remaining time outs (how tf does that happen with over 5:00 left to play?) the Bengals defense was able to get Burrow the ball back with time for a potential game-tying/winning drive.
In one of the most Bengals sequences of events ever, they went from a potential game-winning TD..
..to flat out losing the game in like 47 seconds of real time.
Before he missed the potential game-tying field goal, Bullock had converted from 50 and 43 yards respectively. So he looked good up to that point (even though I did not see those kicks in real time and have no idea how they looked; makes are makes).
I know this is an elementary-ass school of thought, but it always blows my mind to see kicker stat-lines where the misses are significantly shorter than makes. I know pros aren't perfect, but it blows my GD mind. 31 yards in the NFL constitutes a chip shot. Carli Lloyd banged that with ease at like eight different training camps last year. It's six feet shorter than an extra point. Perhaps Randy just doesn't have a clutch gene? After "injuring" his leg on the attempt, the Bengals reportedly aren't concerned about a long-term injury.
You read that correctly, both calves. I'm surprised he didn't throw on a neck brace in the locker room for good measure.
In almost a fluid motion, Randy Bullock went from swinging his leg to grabbing for it. It's hard to break it down frame-by-frame and get a good look at how quickly Randy grabs for his right (or maybe left??) leg because the score bug blocks out the magic bullet moment.
Luckily, there are plenty of twitter detectives to do the work for me.
Gun to my head I'm going he faked it. I've seen someone fake it before. I get being forgetful. My stoner brain forgets stuff all the time. I got a splinter a couple weeks ago and even though it's healed, I totally remember what finger it was on. And that's only a 10% chance of being right while guessing. Know you blows 50/50 chances at grabbing the leg they "injured"? People who are lying.
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