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I am nothing if I'm not a truth teller here on DOL. I am the antitheses of Ja Rule in his 2001 smash "Always on Time" when it comes to hip-hop/top 40 music.
Shit, I barely am up to date with music I actually like. Similarly to how I am with foods, I don't like to try new things. I've been listening to the same 20 songs by Taking Back Sunday, Coheed and Cambria and Avenged Sevenfold for like 15+ years for a reason. I didn't even know who Mac DeMarco was until last year and I have never seen myself in a musician more; I didn't hear Currents (my #1 album of the 2010's) until almost a year after its release; although I did know about Kings of Leon wayyy before "Sex on Fire" if we really wanna go tit for tat. Speaking of tits and tats! I had seen some buzz about this WAP song on twitter the last few days, but didn't fully dive in until the wet and gushy until late this afternoon. 
All I knew was that Cardi dropped a new sexy track with Megan Thee Stallion (full discloser: I didn't even who she was until like two weeks ago when a chick asked for me to play "Savage" in the ub...yes, I didn't know who it was by) that was causing "outrage" by the conservative right for sexually explicit content;;;;; obviously.
I decided to go for a stroll to burn off some sad Burger King (I've loved Rodeo Burgers for a dozen years) after work and figured I better listen to this shit and see what all the fuss is about. I thought to myself "Ryan (that's when you know it's serious), if you want to be an internet man you're gonna have to be better at staying up to date with the mainstream pop culture". I listened to WAP three times in a row. On purpose. I was laughing at the brilliance of the word play and how much these broads (I think I can say that) don't give a FUCK. I wanted to say these are my favorite lyrics, but they legit change with every listen. Here's some notable ones. Say what you want about the musical composition, but the lyrics are fucking hilarious, hot and go HARD. "Beat it up, n**** catch a charge Extra large and extra hard Put this pussy right in your face Swipe your nose like a credit card" "He bought a phone just for pictures of this wet-ass pussy (Click, click, click) Pay my tuition just to kiss me on this wet-ass pussy (Mwah, mwah, mwah)" "Pussy A1 just like his credit He got a beard, well, I'm tryna wet it I let him taste it, now he diabetic" "Your honor, I'm a freak bitch, handcuffs, leashes Switch my wig, make him feel like he cheatin' Put him on his knees, give him somethin' to believe in"
It'd be criminal to not include the clip (less than 15 seconds).
As a feminist and more importantly someone who fucks with equality heavy (look at everything I wrote in June) I have these ladies back 100%.
If you have anything other than "YASSSS queens" for this then you can kick mf rocks. Of course when you read it like an ALS computer it isn't gonna sound great. It's the same thing with jokes. Unlike DiGiorno, delivery is everything.
Ben Shapiro's dream BJ.
Fixed it!
I may be singling Ben out, but that's just because I don't need to waste either of our time giving more people FaceTime on DOL. The idea of getting butthurt over lyrics and music is nothing new. Read wikipedia one time for me. Ever since there was popular recorded music there was also people 20+ years older than the intended audience who thought it was the devil reincarnated. Whether it be Tipper Gore or the losers who actually called and complained about Elvis shaking his hips; you simply cannot please everybody.
What I think we need to take away from WAP, apart from a song bringing spitting to the mainstream is that women should be allowed to be sexy and sing about their wet ass pussies without getting flack from the "cowgirl is too empowering" crowd. Look at this ridiculous line from the Daily Mail (redundant sentence).
I will give credit that it gets the conversation going. It's ALWAYS from the male perspective. God forbid we let a lady tell us what she wants. NEWSFLASH communication is the key to healthy relationships or so I'm told. An open dialogue is a good thing. I am here for you ladies. I think I speak for everybody when I say I'd rather you just tell me what you like as opposed to the guess and check method. We need more representation of differing view points. If you don't like getting choked that's a-o-fucking-kay, but a lot more people than you would realize do. Let them live and make money singing about it. Isn't that what America is supposed to be about? I don't like tomatoes, so I order my sandwich without them. It's really not that hard to avoid things you don't like (apart from the obvious orange stuff).
Rick James (God rest his soul) was singing about essentially demanding that stuff, that funk, that sweet, that funky stuff 40 fucking years ago!! This is nothing new. God forbid some thiccccc ass queens strut around talking about getting their salad potentially tossed. If you wanna get mad, get mad that they threw one of the Jenners in for no fucking reason.
As for the song itself; what else can I say but girl power and I could go for some Buffalo Mac'n'Cheese rn.
P.S.
If we're being truly honest, I don't appreciate the garden snake line.
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