Don't Let the Washington Football Team Announcing That They're Announcing Their New Name on 2/2/22 Distract You From the Fact that Their Stadium is Held Up with ZIP TIES
The internet ages in dog years, so in case you forgot (or never learned since I haven't blogged it until now!), on Sunday, part of FedEx Field (the Washington Football Team's stadium) fell down like Fergie's London Bridge (OH SNAP).
It's almost too on the nose that the football team's stadium partially collapsed. Luckily, nobody was seriously injured. I feel like the cameraman could've fucking died if he was a little further back. Credit to Jalen Hurts for being so chill and showing the traveling Eagle fans some love in what could've been a horrifying situation. I'm glad nothing serious happened, but it would've been just a liiittle funny if Jalen Hurts had a significant injury, and the Eagles sued the Football Team for damages because their stadium makes Oakland Colosseum look like Jerry's World. Hurts could've easily gotten squashed.
After having Monday to discuss ways to push this story down the internet well, today, the Washington Football Team announced that on 2/2/22 (objectively, that's a cool day to announce something), they're finally going to reveal their new name.
Good for them; even as one of the biggest dumpster fire franchises in the Big 4 leagues, they deserve a real name. I still don't understand why they needed another entire season to pick something out, but this blog isn't about the Football Team's new name (it should be Pigskins!).
It's to remind you of yet another classic case of a Washington cover-up. From the team that brought you a rushed number retirement ceremony of arguably their best player of the last 20 years who was murdered in 2007 to take the scent off of some nasty emails PRESENTS, announcing that in a month they're announcing a new name....to hopefully distract you from the fact that FedEx Field held together with literal zip ties.
They've had years at this point to make a decision, but now like 48ish hours after FedEx Field gave out like an overpacked grocery bag, they decide to break the name news. Interesting!
Luckily for the soon to be renamed Football Team, they don't have any more home games this season to worry about entire sections of seating imploding onto fans.
At least they checked up on the people who fell...oh wait, only Jalen Hurts did. Fuck the Football Team. Absolute scumbag organization.