Holy Shit I am 26 Years Old...Gross

As many of you may know (thanks to facebook telling you) today is my birthday. Ole dozo is getting quite old indeed, 26 years old; my Wade Boggs year if you will. 

Instead of drinking 64 beers on a cross country flight, I'm just like a lot of people, trying to figure out how to play this game of life. It's no secret things haven't gone as planned. 

Many people were asking me in the weeks leading up to this day kept asking what I wanted for my birthday and I didn't know what to tell them. The only things I really want are things that cannot be given to you by a family or friends, or really anybody I guess. Your aunt can't go to Target and get you a time machine and a pill that makes you lose 40 pounds. Mom can't go to the girlfriend store (at least not in this country) and pick you out a nice lady to stay in, drink shitty wine and watch The Office with. Dad can't give you health insurance anymore. Guess I'm stuck with fucking socks.

So I decided to get myself what I wanted most: the gift of blogging. It's something I absolutely love, and have really missed doing. I want to spend the one day of the year that is supposed to be "my day" blogging.

Unfortunately from the Nashville disaster, and my premature return I haven't either had time to write, or the desire to. Ya boy has been in massive rut. I feel like I've kinda a lost a step on my writing. Blogging is not like riding a bike, when you stop doing for a while you can't just jump back on and be the same as you were when you stopped. I know that the quality of my product has suffered and then that just compounds the rut because I feel like I can't even do the one thing I was kind of good. It stinks because despite what the haters (of which there are many) say I know in my heart of (probably enlarged) hearts I know I have the takes, brain, and sometimes sense of humor it takes to get where I want to be. I don't want to name names or bash anybody but it's a straight up fact I'm better than some people currently working at Barstool. But instead of focusing on this I have to conform to the pressures of normalcy and "adulthood". I mean I'm closing to 30 than 20 now which is absolutely bananas to think about and what do I have to show for it? All I've done is not get laid and work in a ghetto essentially pre-prison for two months.

​I get down on myself because I know my goal is frankly unrealistic, but then I think about what I've accomplished. I had a phone interview for a non-blogging position at Barstool in January, and was behind the popular twitter page URIProbs, damnit! I feel like Mugato screaming about inventing the Piano Key Necktie. 

Although the late Aaliyah (RIPIP) would tell you that Age Ain't Nothing but a Number, that is not really the case, besides the only people who believe that are ones involved in statutory rape. Age is most currently more than just a number. Here's so a day that hopefully will be like the golden era of DOL and to finding a real boy job in the meantime. I'm 26 years old and there's nothing I can do about that. Just gotta keep moving forward.