What happened to the good ole days where Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes (RIPIP) was rocking a condom over her eye to promote safe sex?
Or when people were filling condoms up like water balloons and getting them stuck on their head?
Those are so 1992 and 2016 respectively, cause now from the generation who brought you the tide pod challenge, we now have the condom snorting challenge, which is exactly what it sounds like. People are snorting condoms (hopefully not magnums) up their nose, and pulling them out their mouth like those freaks on the early days of youtube used to do with spaghetti.
I'm not a Trump guy, but Jr. has a solid point.
It appears the newest internet "craze" (idk how many people are actually doing this, it very well could just be going viral despite a few numbskulls [I'm bringing that word back] actually partaking, in the era of fake news, just because a story is viral doesn't mean it's actually sweeping the nation) is snorting a condom through your nose and having it come out your mouth like so:
I was listening to AM talk radio at work today (not by choice) and this new "challenge" was causing quite the stir, for obvious reasons due to the stupidity of it. A condom breaking in this situation is arguably worse than the traditional condom break.
I'm not hear to debate whether or not you should want to snort a condom. I'm not your dad.
If you want to snort a condom that's your prerogative.
All I want to know is how this "challenge" originated. I'm truly fascinated by how somebody thought of this. You know when you see an infomercial for a really simple, practical invention and you're just like:
"damnit, why didn't I think of that?"
Like anybody could've thought of the slap chop.
That's how I feel here.
Not because it's a cool idea, but because it's gone viral and is getting talked about constantly. Imagine being the person behind something like that. I'd figure it has to be worth some sort of internet clout. As an aspiring real blogger that's the dream. To get all the eyes on you. All I need is one tweet or blog to go viral then I'm golden, I just know it.
So how the fuck did somebody come up with this?
Here's my hypothesis:
Nobody decided to snort a condom. It was just a happy accident. Much like the result of a broken condom when you're in your late 20's or older and an unplanned pregnancy isn't necessarily a death sentence.
Some lucky fella/transgirl (it's 2018, just because they have a penis doesn't mean they identify as male!!!) was about to get to partake in some consensual fellatio. but unfortunately their partner was some weirdo/hooker that makes you wear a condom before performing oral sex on you. Never fun!
At some point in the act, my guess is due to not reading the instructions due to the pure excitement and ecstasy that comes from receiving oral sex that the receiver did not put on the condom correctly. Happens to the best of us. I bet that thing was flopping around like a used car lot blow up man.
Because of this laissez-faire attitude by the person receiving said fellatio, in the heat of passion the giver followed suit and just went on their merry way and continued to succcccc the penis. Boy she/he succc'd it and succc'd it good. She/he sucked the dick so well that at some point the already improperly placed condom was falling off so much that there was enough slack for it to get stuck in the givers nose. Like when your shoe laces are technically tied, but there's enough hanging off the side to still get stuck somewhere. Everybody knows when you're sucking dick your mind isn't exactly focused on all your surroundings (so I'm told) so it's easy for this to happen.
Since she/he was so in the moment she/he didn't realize that whilest she/he went to succc the wiener that the head of the condom was actually near their nostril. When she/he sucked in, off came the condom into their naval cavity like a vacuum.
In a moment of pure adrenaline to the credit of the fellater she/he did what we all would in that situation....do anything to survive. So instead of panicking, possibly from years of cocaine use, she/he knew to just cover the other nostril and succc until it come out into her/his mouth.
Normally people would be freaked out by such an accident, but this couple wasn't your run of mill cock-sucking duo. Nope, they were innovators. Innovators who realized they had something here. That in the youtube generation this could be gold. So they used the remaining condoms in the pack to create the condom snorting challenge.
Who would've thought that someone could find a worse place to break a condom then when you're 4 inches deep in that sweet pus, amirite boys?? At least you can buy the morning after pill when that happens to save the day. Not much you can do when you're suffocating on a broken Trojan.
7/6/2020 04:39:21 am
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