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I Battled the Mush Head On Last Night and Lost

4/26/2023

1 Comment

 
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I'm not much of a jinx guy, I don't think my (or anybody who isn't directly involved with the game) actions have an impact on the outcome, but there was a time when I was wicked superstitious. I had a rally-hat tap procedure during the 2004 Red Sox playoff run that I was convinced was why they won, but I aged out of that ritual. Throughout my years I've gone back and forth between believing in jinxes or not. Gun to my head, I don't, but what happened last night has me questioning everything. I challenged the mush Gods, and they pissed all over me.

Last night, the Boston Celtics were 13-point favorites at home in a close-out game where their opponent was missing one of its best players, AND it was a certain Celtics' "superstar" mom's B-day, so it felt like the perfect recipe for a series-clinching victory at home.

That felt like a certainty until the last five minutes of the game. After a slow start, the Celtics got their shit together and looked like a team with championship aspirations.

Decent #bleedgreen pic.twitter.com/fct1F61Mlj

— Doz #HireDozo (@DozonLife) April 26, 2023
I don't have the emotional bandwidth right now to break down all the Celtics' mistakes, but there were plenty of them. I love Tatum, but he has too many moments like this to be considered a top-tier NBA superstar. This data is appalling!

Jayson Tatum

Last 2 seasons in the reg/post season

4th Qtr/OT, 5:00 or fewer minutes remaining, trailing between 1 and 5 points

3P% - (min 20 3PA - 49 Qualify)

League average over that span is 30.7%

Don't look if you have a weak stomache pic.twitter.com/310Y9FmvNF

— Boston Sports Info (@bostonsportsinf) April 26, 2023
Incase you don't know how to work the tweets I embed into blogs...this is fucking disgusting.
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You could argue that's a semi-cherry-picked stat, but it's a fair way to determine clutchness.

Here are Tatum's numbers over the last three games (Celtics are 1-2 in such games) **multiple puke emojis**

This cannot happen pic.twitter.com/MmR9WchaaM

— Dan Greenberg (@StoolGreenie) April 26, 2023
25/63 from the floor (39.7%), 5-34 from three (14.7). Those numbers are grosser than a porta-potty on the last day of a music festival.

Now sure, the Celtics showed last year that they can bounce back from disgusting home losses, buuuuut, you'd like to think they would've learned from those situations and not taken their foot off the gas and allowed a fucking 20-6 run to end the game. Fuck ugly ass Trae Young and his straw hair, but I am so disappointed in my guys for letting it get to that point.

Even if the Celtic close things out in Atlanta on Thursday, they let this series go longer than it needed to while the Sixers keep resting and getting healthier for a potential 2nd round match-up. This may be what I (and millions of other C's fans) get for getting off to the Bucks choke job Monday night. At least they were in a hostile environment **wink, wink Miami sports fans are a fucking joke**. We managed to collapse at home.

I'm not as knowledgeable of a basketball fan as I am with football, but like yo, what the fuck is Joe Mazzulla doing? The man hates timeouts. The rotations suck. Brogdon needs to be in the game over Marcus Smart when he's playing like an asshole. 

Derrick White was good in the fourth, but sat for a long, critical stretch.

Marcus Smart was mostly bad, but also had confusing substitutions.

Brogdon didn't play after the 7 min mark.

Mazzulla's guard rotation is perplexing, and I don't think sets his guys up for success.

— Cameron Tabatabaie (@CTabatabaie) April 26, 2023
This loss is so shitty because (besides the fact that the game felt all but won) it highlights one of the Celtics' most glaring flaws. They don't know how to finish strong. How many times did they blow games last year during their Finals run? They nearly blew Game 7 in Miami. Are the C's mentally tough enough to finish the job? How the fuck can you implode like that at home? There were so many careless turnovers and shit shots. ​

Jayson Tatum and Marcus Smart were so bad in the final five minutes of that loss for the Celtics. Good effort by the Hawks on defense, but these back-to-back turnovers were sloppy and avoidable. pic.twitter.com/YSB3AViV5Y

— Kevin O'Connor (@KevinOConnorNBA) April 26, 2023
I know Tatum sucked from three last night, but he needs to touch the ball more in these late situations. I am very fucking nervous that this series is gonna end up going 7, and as the cliches go, anything can happen in a Game 7. The Celtics were like Charlie Day in Horrible Bosses when he saves Kevin Spacey's character during his allergic reaction when he's the guy they're trying to kill. You gave your enemy a new lease on life and they're gonna use it to try to destroy you. If this Celtics team is gonna win a championship, they need to go into Atlanta on Thursday and dominate. Put this loss behind you and finish the fucking job.

I just want the C's to win a championship before the league shuts down to the impending Civil War. Of course, they can still do it, but nights like last night get me to those lowest of lows I've mentioned. I'm not in as bad of a mood I was last night, but I'm still pretty fucking bummed and pissed. Sure, I watched Ted Lasso, The Big Prize Door, and the new Mulaney stand up to distract myself from that loss's pain and nothing else, but you can only numb and distract so much. Hopefully, this is just a wake-up call for the Celtics, and they go on to finish the job, but man, what a fucking disgusting performance from a team whose motto is "Unfinished Business." 

FUCK, this sucks. Also, the refs were trash. That tech on Tatum was a fucking disgrace in a playoff game.

But we still bleed green, hopefully they close it out tomorrow night.
1 Comment
Dozie
4/26/2023 03:17:41 pm

Editior’s update:

I should’ve included that I intentionally wrote yesterday’s blog challenging the mush vibes & shit my boys say. This game has me rat-tat-tattled. Fuck Trae Young

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