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I Don't See It Happening, but it's Officially Time For the 2023 New England Patriots to Tank

10/30/2023

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I'm not going to sit here and make excuses about the refs because even if they didn't fuck us raw (multiple rounds) with no lube, I can admit the Dolphins are currently much better than the Patriots. They actually have talent on their roster!

It's just a major bummer when your season is on the brink, and you're on the wrong side of multiple no-calls in a game where despite looking like shit, you were sorta in it.

#Patriots HC Bill Belichick said this morning on WEEI: "The tripping on Ezekiel Elliott, that's another dangerous play. Stuff like that, there shouldn't be any place for that in football."

Pretty clear view here from the end zone angle what Belichick was referencing. No call. pic.twitter.com/kSwv5F7S8W

— Evan Lazar (@ezlazar) October 30, 2023

First penalty against the Dolphins (offensive holding) in the first half comes with 54 seconds remaining in the second quarter. https://t.co/UunZqsV68d

— Mike Reiss (@MikeReiss) October 29, 2023

No clue how you don’t rule violent contact to the head/neck of a defenseless receiver here. Kind of a textbook case. pic.twitter.com/S14fz76ghC

— Michael Hurley (@michaelFhurley) October 29, 2023

The refs pick up a flag for illegal man downfield. Gives the Dolphins a third down conversion. Idk man.

— Evan Lazar (@ezlazar) October 29, 2023
The Patriots are currently the AFC's #16 seed, which has them barely out of the playoff picture.
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New England's 31-17 loss dropped their record to 2-6, and like a Hot Pocket after two minutes in the microwave... they're fucking done. The Bills game was fool's gold (slash Josh Allen is a fraud). What we saw yesterday is more indicative of what the Pats are; a shitty team.

When fully healthy, this roster doesn't have a lot of studs, and we've already lost Judon and Gonzo for the year. Now, our (arguably) best offensive weapon is out for 2023; Kendrick Bourne tore his ACL yesterday. Major Bummer Volume II!

Kendrick Bourne was not just the Patriots' leading receiver, but a big part of the team's heartbeat in the locker room and on the practice field with his infectious positivity and energy.

Thus, news of his torn ACL resonates well beyond his significant on-field contributions.

— Mike Reiss (@MikeReiss) October 30, 2023
Even though I don't see Bill Belichick ever tanking, it's against everything he stands for. This guy used to play catch with Roger Staubach when he was a kid. He worked under Ted Marchibroda. The man can talk about Lawrence Taylor for days without notes. He's a historian who loves everything football. I respect him for not being that guy that gives up on the year, but we fucking need to; it's what's best for the team long-term. Only three teams in NFL history that started 2-6 made the playoffs, and one of them was the '22 Jags. It prob ain't happening back-to-back years. BLOW. IT. UPPPPPPP!!!!!!

This team is going nowhere fast, and while this may sound like loser talk to some (likely haters), I've watched this franchise win six Super Bowls. We were spoiled. That doesn't last forever. If you aren't a contender, you might as well be awful to try and get a QB or game-changing defensive player or WR that can make you a contender again. I've said it 50 times this season, but there's no point in going 7-10 (tbh, I don't even think we could if we tried with our current available talent pool). I know it's different in the NFL, but you gotta try to sell what you can and focus on getting the best pick available.

I want to hold on to guys like Dugger, Barmore​, Dave Andrews, Onwenu, Pop, and all the defensive Joneses, but if you can move someone for a 3rd or 4th rounder...fucking do it. Sure, Bill will probably use it on some DE that ends up with three career snaps, but that's precisely why you need to stockpile picks. Can we be on the right side of a Mohamed Sanu for a 2nd rounder-type deal? If you can get a 6th for DeVante Parker, that's basically the same level of fleecing.
Speaking of Barmore, he was a bright spot on a team lacking true NFL talent.

Christian Barmroe just keeps playing like a force of nature. Combining his trademark pass rush prowess with moments of dominant run defense

His ascension as an invaluable, consistently disruptive piece of the #Patriots defense has been huge without Judon pic.twitter.com/kuyl40ffT8

— Taylor Kyles (@tkyles39) October 30, 2023
As for the quarterback, I feel bad for Mac. He had better weapons at Alabama. There's no excusing the INT; it changed the game, but it's tough to evaluate the guy fairly with the lack of time and weapons he was given. His development is the only reason you shouldn't tank, but with Caleb Williams within reach, it's a conversation worth having. If Belichick is worried about how a 10 to 15 loss season will affect his record, I say pull a Coach K. and fake an injury. If you call like, Lovie Smith and ask him to be the interim coach while Bill "recovers," he'll prob take the job. 

P.S.

It's Celtics season. As I hit publish, we're up 33 vs. the Wizards.
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