I Fundamentally Don't Understand How Wannabe By the Spice Girls Has So Few Views on Youtube

3/28/2020

So here's the story from a to z, I know this song's 24 years old, but this still makes no sense to meeeeeee

I talk about how old I am on DOL all the f-ing time. In case you're new here you're boi is 28 years george gung. So by my calculations,,,,,, ever since ab(out) 1996 I've known what's going on around me. By that point ('96) I had been walking for YEARS and talking for months. Not only could I support the weight of my head by myself, but I could also make my own decisions with music 2. Up until that point I was basically Terri Schiavo. Just drag me around & subject me to whatever tunes you were feeling from late 91-96ish. I couldn't say shiiit. Then one day my friend Steve showed me the goods and I never went back. Now my memories of these times aren't super clear, but that's more so a defense mechanism for dealing with trauma lol. Some of the first songs I can remember actually liking on my own were the "Macarena" by Los Del Río and "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls. Talk about jumping in the (music) pool at the right time!

We don't need to waste any more time with blog fluffer so let's get to the meat and potatoes of this complaint. The issue at hand was first brought to my hand in late February.

How the FUCK does Wannabe only have 450 million views on Youtube? After a DECADE??? That ain’t right. What disrespect! If Youtube existed in 1996 this legit would have 3 billion views. pic.twitter.com/x9zO2Ek5Ds
— Doz (very niche!) #hiredozo (@DozonLife) February 28, 2020

I mean; it's garbage right? I know I'm drunk, but I'm not crazy. I get it, Wannabe was the biggest hit in the world from like 1996-97 and it's 2020 so some time has passed. Still went # 1 in almost 40 countries (37). Sure, people's tastes change and Youtube didn't exist until 2005, but like wtf? I get it that a billion is a lot, but like come on? Do we not remember how huge this song was?

This is WANNABE by the Spice Girls. Can we just forget the hustle and bustle of life with Covid-19 and go back to 1996 for a moment?

via GIPHY

Wannabe was EVERYWHERE; it's legit one of my first memories of human life. As far as I'm concerned it's the most successful song in the history of music. It left quite the impression on ya boi. Sure I'm a wannabe (LOLOL) indie, hipster, piece of shit; but Ik my roots. This shit kick-started the gender specific pop explosion of the late 90's THAT I LOVEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD.

My last hour pic.twitter.com/82NYmwloC5
— Doz (very niche!) #hiredozo (@DozonLife) March 29, 2020

How does this song not have a billion views on Youtube? It's been out since 1996 and on Youtube for 10 years. Yet only 455 million views?How fucking big is a billion?? Sure you could explain the numbers to me in a way that makes complete sense, but I don't wanna hear it. At the end of the day this is WANNABE by the Spice Girls; top 5 song of 1991-2020 in a poll ran and conducted by yours truly. I guess if you wanna look on the bright side that's 5 million views since my first documented complaint on February 28th (one month ago today). Irregardless (fake word?), this is BLASPHEMY. Mel, Ginger, Sporty, Baby and Scary deserve better. How have we wronged these ladies who did us so right? All they want is for us to fuck their friends BEFORE slamming our bodies 'round and we can't even get them in the Billy Club (different type). Zigga Zig wha the fuck?