I Have a MAJOR Issue With This Chris Rock Joke

​Chris Rock's been one of my favorite comedians for as long as I can remember. He's top 3 of my lifetime (1991-present), no questions asked. Thanks to LimeWire, I had all his specials on my Video iPod and would frequently listen to them while doing various chores at my Grandma's house every weekend when I had to help my dad fix it up to sell after she went into assisted living.

Of course, as the recipient of a bitch slap at the Oscars earlier this year, pretty much all Chris Rock-related news has involved the slap in one way or another, including a recent development that he passed on an opportunity to host next year's Academy Awards. Spoiler alert: people aren't thrilled with how he broke that story.

Chris Rock says he turned down hosting the Oscars next year, saying going back to the awards ceremony would be like asking Nicole Brown Simpson “to go back to the restaurant” where she left her eyeglasses before being killed https://t.co/ZjIPuhYePO

— philip lewis (@Phil_Lewis_) August 29, 2022

​I've seen plenty of people complaining about that joke, and while it doesn't offend me, I don't think it's his best work. I get the premise of joking about returning to the scene of the crime, but logistically it doesn't make a ton of sense. Not to side with the anti-comedy bitches, but getting slapped isn't exactly on par with nearly getting decapitated and dying. It's like if someone lost a parent and another person tried to console them by saying "I know how you feel, my 19-year-old cat recently died." They're not on the same level.

Nicole Brown Simpson's sister says Chris Rock’s joke wasn’t just unfunny, it literally doesn’t make sense https://t.co/LnSfgSo3xu

— philip lewis (@Phil_Lewis_) August 31, 2022

So swing and a miss. Big deal. I'm a long-standing believer that nothing should be off-limits in comedy. There's an art in finding humor in horrible situations, and that should be praised. Not every joke lands, but that's part of the game. Chris has made Oneil Cruz level contact countless times.

Sure, some of Chris' references aren't exactly fresh, but people tend to reference their favorite times in their lives. I talk about 2004-2017 a lot, so a good chunk of my references features things from that time. Chris Rock was that dude in the 90s, so I can understand why he always references it. Those are the jokes that got him a place next to a white dentist in Alpine, NJ.

I've seen plenty of tweets saying this is why Chris got slapped or explaining why they're on Will Smith's side because they don't like Chris Rock's jokes. Whatever, I disagree, but it's still a free country (depending on what state you live in), and you don't have to like or listen to his material. 

But as I mentioned earlier, I'm a huge Chris Rock fan. I think he's a comedic genius who uses his platform to highlight real issues. Women might get pissed that his last two "viral" jokes were at their expense, but he makes fun of everybody. 

So Bring the Pain is available for free on Youtube, and since I have Youtube Premium, I can listen to videos without having them on my screen, which is huge for ubin when I don't feel like listening to music or a podcast. So last week, I listened to Bring the Pain for the first time in years, and even though I've heard these jokes dozens of times, they still make me laugh. Even the joke this blog is about, I just have a major issue with the logistics behind it.

In Bring the Pain, Chris Rock talks about jails, specifically a recent HBO jail special that explains salad tossing (of course that's where a young Dozo first learned this term).

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His delivery and the situation are funny, but the execution is somewhat puzzling. Sure, the '90s were a different time sexually, and he's basically quoting the documentary, so this could fall more on the tossed salad man than Mr. Rock, but the logic is incredibly flawed, IMO. Now I've never sucked a dick in my 30+ years on this planet, but I feel like it's much more difficult to pretend that's something else compared to eating ass. That's something I have a little experience in and frankly enjoy. The process isn't the exact same as eating pussy, but I mean, there are definitely some similarities. You could easily pretend that jelly or syrup-covered b-hole is some box or a less gross anus than the one you're licking in jail. Sucking a dick, for all intents and purposes, has no equivalent. Of course, there's plenty of phallic foods, but it doesn't compare to the process of giving a BJ. The logic in this joke is for lack of a better term, ass. Boo if you want to, you know I'm right. 

Yeah, the Nicole Brown joke kind of fucking sucked, I'll give you that, but it wasn't in a special like this factually incorrect oral sex bit from 1996. Plus, we've only read it. Maybe his delivery made it better than it looks on paper? Luckily this story gave me a perfect opportunity to blog this 26-year-old joke that I recently heard again in a somewhat timely fashion. Watch any Chris Rock special and you'll see why he's one of the best to ever do it.