I Have a Problem... I Can't Stop Listening to Milli Vanilli (ps give them their Grammy back!)

My musical taste is something I take great pride in. When I think about how people would describe me to someone who's never had the displeasure of coming across me I'd hope they say something like "he's a nice, funny guy, really smart, loves sports and music, wicked knowledgeable fan, handsome too despite a see-saw battle with weight his entire life".   Something like that.

​I've said it ad nauseam this point, I love alt-rock and pop-punk but there's a lot more to my taste than just that. I can appreciate so many different types of music. I can go from Fleetwood Mac to Avenged Sevenfold w/o skipping a beat. 

I enjoy recommending stuff I like to people in hopes of spreading that shit like a missionary. But instead of spreading the lies of religion I spread the genius of Kevin Parker.  I like finding out what to listen to from people's who's opinions I value even more. Talking music is one of my favorite things to do in life and my go to conversation starter on tinder if I see a band in our mutual likes.  So as I say all that I understand what I'm gonna say may negate that, but if I can do my (free) job I'll change your mind.



I've been listening to Milli Vanilli....a lot. For like the last two weeks. I can't stop. I'm listening to them as I type this sentence. I don't know how it started but all I know is I'm stuck in a Mill Vanilli tornado and idk if I'll ever get out. The music is too catchy to quit. Idc who's responsible for it.  Those beats are fire, the vocals are great, sure the lyrics are pretty fucking simple "I'm in love with you girl cause you're on my mind" and at times make no sense but idc. If society can try to eliminate gender then I should be allowed to be a 30 year fake R&B duo's biggest fan. If you can be fa'afafine then I can listen to exclusively Milli Vanilli. Not only does Milli Vanilli " 's" music fucking bang, but they also should be given their Grammy back. 

Any awards who picks Jethro Tull for best Hard Rock/Metal Performance over Metallica is null and void as far as I'm concerned. This same organization has given awards to The Chainsmokers and Skrillex but not the Bob Marley or Led Zeppelin. Plus they were just ahead of their time. Had auto-tune existed in 1988 this never would've happened. Fab can actually sing too.

I don't care that they were lip-syncing. The music they were lip-syncing was fantastic. Just listen to it and try to say it's not at the very least infectious.

Plus after some senior thesis type research I can assure you that lip-syncing was not their idea, they actually were victims! I don't expect many (if anybody) to watch this entire clip but this explains a lot of what they went through. Surviving member Fab Morvan sat down with VLADTV and gave nearly 2 hours of insight into the rise and fall of Milli Vanilli. Basically they were a French and German dude who got taken advantage of by a producer. 

I do this with music, much like with eating, I'll binge one thing I really like for about 3 weeks before moving on to another artists.  I've done this with a bunch of bands the last few years: I had an Eagles phase for like the entire 2016 summer, I had a stint where all I listened to was Huey Lewis and the News last year. When I first found out about Big L in high school it was all I listened to for months. Currently that is happening with Milli Vanilli. I'm like a heroin addict. All I can think about is my next score, or in this case when am I going to listen to Milli Vanilli next? When I'm at work and the guy I'm riding with gets out of the van to smoke a cigarette I'll play a song during the break where I'm alone for a couple minutes. I changed a group chat I'm in to "Girl You Know It's True", I've said "Blame It On The Rain" in conversation multiple times this week. I'm becoming a problem.

What makes this more embarrassing than some of my other guilty pleasure spurts is that Milli Vanilli is probably the most infamous act in music history with their whole lip syncing scandal.  It's not even a real band. I remember the first time I ever heard the story, it was on one of those old VH1 countdown shows. I wanna say the most shocking moments in rock history and the Milli Vanilli scandal was #7. I saw that when I was like 11 and it's always stuck with me. You best believe I've been doing academic research on Milli Vanilli and watched a 100 minute Fab Morvan interview yesterday explaining his side of the story. The whole scandal is like my new Jonestown where I'm just obsessed with learning every detail and wish I was alive for when it happened. Could you imagine if a scandal like this happened in music today with social media? It'd be the biggest joke on twitter for months. It took crying Jordan 2 years to die and people are still not giving up. 

I don't even remember how it started, but all I know is after two-ish weeks I've listened to "Girl You Know It's True",  "Baby Don't Forget My Number" and "Blame It On The Rain" legitimately 50 times each. Thank God youtube doesn't tell you how many times you've watched a video because like a checking your bank account after a wild weekend, I don't wanna know. 

But there's a reason it was such a big deal when the scandal broke because they were the biggest act in music. Their album went 6x platinum and produced FIVE top 5 hits; three of which went to #1. The music is fire, and in a way I think the whole scandal of having attractive people "sell" the image is why they got so huge because the actual band who made their music tried to tour after they were caught and were unsuccessful despite being a band who's music created three chart toppers and a #2 single. 
 
If you wanna make fun of the whole ordeal, the hair, the horrible dancing, go for it. I'll admit rewatching the videos is hilarious. You can really tell in their first video "Girl You Know It's True" that these guys are not legit performers by how Fab carries himself. This is so bad it makes me wonder if they even took a 2nd take? Such an easy move to nail and it looks horrible. One take!

How did it take almost 3 years for Milli Vanilli to get caught? Look at these moves in their first video. How does nobody say “hey let’s get another take of that sweet 1, 2 move?” pic.twitter.com/AnRnb4gIM3

— Ryan #hiredozo (@rhodydoz) June 7, 2018

The snare drum stomping is my favorite. The cut to both of them immediately after it is a close second. 

they didn’t sing on the record but they sure as fuck made up for it with these □ moves pic.twitter.com/dOHELigHiP

— Ryan #hiredozo (@rhodydoz) June 7, 2018

You probably didn't even notice the dancing because you were too distracted by the music. Obviously I understand completely, I'm writing an entire blog on how good the bad music actually was for God's sake.

If I'm power ranking my favorite MV songs. 

​1. Baby Don't Forget My Number

2. Blame It On The Rain

3. Girl You Know It's True

Idc who you are if you can't get down to these songs you're the one who's wrong. Sure 30 years later they still may be a joke to some, but guess what Rob (RIP) and Fab? At Doz On Life you'll always have a fan.