I Have No Respect for Vowel Buyers

I love game shows.

When I was a kid it was my dream to be a game show host. As life progressed I realized that probably wasn't going to happen. Not a lot of companies are dying to hire fat guys with shitty teeth and crippling anxiety as game show hosts.

So I had to settle with watching.

That's fine. I love watching. It can be hard to watch every night with work and life in general but when I have the chance I love the Wheel of Fortune/Jeopardy block on CBS. Just reminds me of being a kid at my grandparents house. Yes I know I could just DVR. I'm not gonna DVR Wheel and Jeopardy it's just not the same. 
 
After years of watching there's always been something that drives me crazy.

Buying vowels.

I know you're probably thinking, Doz are you stupid? You have to buy vowels, how else are you going to solve the puzzle? Well let me explain to you why unless you absolutely have to, buying vowels is a total sucker move. You're just giving that money you earned directed back to CBS. I should've came out with my take a long time ago. But sometimes I get scared to share my takes. Mainly from just being a human and be worried I'll be ridiculed. It can be tough to be a trailblazer. 

As someone who has been called "Dozah Parks" in the past, I can relate. No matter how big or how small your issue may be, you shouldn't afraid to stand up for what you believe in. Whether it be equal rights for all humans or game show strategies, we all shouldn't be scared to say whats on our mind.

​After some confirmation from a future colleague of mine (s/o Nate) last night I am no longer afraid to say it.

There is NOTHING that makes me more angry than when a Wheel of Fortune contestant buys a vowel WHEN THERE IS ONLY ONE VOWEL LEFT TO BUY

— Nate (@BarstoolNate) January 26, 2017

@rhodydoz buying vowels is legitimately the dumbest thing you can do. Huge waste of money.

— Nate (@BarstoolNate) January 26, 2017

Knowing I have Nate on my side for this one makes me feel a lot better with my stance: Why do people buy vowels?

I get so mad when people buy vowels on Wheel of Fortune. It makes me insane. Don't these people know the rules? Wheel isn't like Jeopardy where 2nd or 3rd place just get a standard $2000 or $1000 even if you come in second with like $14,000. On Wheel you leave with what you win. You come in 3rd on wheel with $12K in prizes, you get it. The odds of that are slim but you get my point. You can not win and still leave win some legit cash and prizes.

Obviously you want to play to win but you also need to be smart. If you're getting your ass kicked and waste money on vowels you're just helping your competition. You'll see someone get 6 T's on their first spin, then get a big head and buy out the vowels, guess another consonant, be wrong and lose their turn. Now your opponent has a board full of vowels. Now they have all the advantage. Plus Wasting $250 per vowel adds up. Before you know it you've blown like 1500 bucks on vowels that you could've take home with you. It's stupid and irresponsible. 

People are so caught up in buying vowels from years of that being common place that they think they just have to do it because it's part of the game. The second they get a little scratch in their pocket, it burns a hole, and the only way to put out the fire is with a bucket of A, E, I, O, U.  They can waste thousands over the course of a game on vowels that another contestant is dying to buy.

It's like when coaches punt on 4th and 1 inside their opponents territory. The odds are in your favor, but you're giving up. Just because it's been common place for decades doesn't mean it's smart. You should go for it. Even if you fail it's the right move. Same with vowels. Let the old lady next you with her prehistoric views waste thousands on vowels. Save your cash. You're gonna need it in a close game when you're fighting for your chance to spin the final wheel. I feel like Jonah Hill in Moneyball trying to explain his analytics to a bunch of old scouts stuck in their ways, but this really makes sense. Getting on base is valuable. So is not burning cash on vowels that someone else is going to buy. 

Obviously there are times when it's crucial. You wouldn't go for it 4th and 1 on your own 15 yard line. Yeah sometimes you gotta punt. If you have control of the board and aren't sure if a word needs an A or an E and that's the difference between you solving the puzzle or not go crazy and buy that vowel. But time after time you'll see some idiot get a little bit of cash and then just buy vowels on back to back moves. What are you even doing on Wheel of Fortune? If you have to buy vowels from the jump you probably aren't good enough to even be on the show in the first place. 



P.S. 

Don't even get me started on the idiots who will buy vowels on the speed-up round. Sometimes Pat lands on the big money spots and consonants can be worth like over $2000 each. Use your spin on adding some cash to your total.