I Need Chain Wallets To Be Socially Acceptable

Chain Wallets are NOT for everybody. When I think chain wallet it's either some tatted up biker or middle school hot topic goth kid. You just don't see your kid's 10th grade English teacher rocking a chain wallet. We live in a society with social norms and they just are not something the average grown adult can wear and be taken seriously. Maybe in the biker/mechanic scene, but not in middle America. Idk, maybe it's just how I roll but I'm sure most people also have a pretty distinct image of what a chain wallet guy looks like, in their head, it's not just me. Not saying he's a bad guy but I am saying it would  look RIDICULOUS with my style to mix in a chain wallet.


But can I be honest? I really wish I could. Chain Wallets are practical AF. Chain Wallet is like the fanny-pack's goth brother who really loves Son's of Anarchy. Sure both look ridiculous, but both actually are very practical tools. The chain acts like a leash for your wallet, and as a guy who loses his wallet constantly, I think a chain wallet is the only feasible option I have to stop losing my wallet. Maybe it's because I was once a kid on a leash at DisneyWorld but I appreciate how important the leash can be. Say what you will about my mom putting her son on a leash, but I didn't get abducted/raped/killed so they leash did it's job. I'm a results/bottomline guy and at the end of the day the leash gets you the results you want. 

Now I don't want the standard goth/biker chain wallet, I need something with a little style, and tbh I'd prefer no chain. Now definitely need something to work as the leash but a chain is a little too aggressive.  The chain is what makes chain wallet people scary to most. Makes me think of a prisoner being transferred from the bus to their cell. I can picture it in like 20 different movies right now. Just not a chain guy at all, also slavery was big into chains and I am not big into slavery. I need like a braided rope, or lanyard type leash to do the job. Something with style that girls will look at think "now this is guy I could break up with 8 months from now".  And that's find by me, I'm not looking for a wife, just some consistent play to get back in the game. 

So idk who I need to contact to make this happen but I think less aggressive chain wallets for clumsy middle class white guys is a get untapped market just waiting for it's savior. Someone get me in contact with the right people. As an idea guy this is one of my best ideas yet. 



P.S. This was all inspired from me losing my wallet Sunday when I went to Rite-Aid to buy a case of water for my Uber customers (we'll get into that later today) but apparently I lost my wallet and it was found before I even realized it was gone. Swear to God, I got a call from my sister saying some biker (bicycle, not motorcycle) found it, looked at my address, called my house, and told them they found my wallet. Weirdest lost wallet experience I've ever had, and I've had hundreds. Big ups to the good civilian who returned it, and bigger ups to my sister for getting it for me and bringing it to Newport where I was driving. Oh also I lost my car keys on the seawall yesterday when I was going for a jog. Bad weekend to be something that I keep in my pockets. Probably will lose my phone tonight.