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I Swear To God if Pizza Hut Goes Under...

8/19/2020

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In case you're unaware; there is a lot of fucked up shit going on in America right now. For starters, Mookie Betts is a B̶r̶o̶o̶k̶l̶y̶n̶ Los Angeles Dodger. For time's sake that concludes the list. 

There is a legitimate argument to be made that we are currently living in the worst period of human history. At least during the Bubonic Plague there wasn't a computer in your pocket (if they were even invented yet)  constantly updating you on how badly things are going. You got to die, in pain, on your bed of straw LIKE A MAN; with no idea of what's going on even four miles away.

2020 has been an all-time bad year. Tons of death and miscellaneous bad shit. You can quote me. It appears that another one miiight bite the dust in 2020. I am sad to say that the "another one" in question is not a 2015 Mac Demarco song (not to be confused with 2017's "One Another"), but Wichita's own Pizza Hut. (article here)
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Since opening up in 1958 (dozzaahhhh) Pizza Hut has sold over 5,000 pizzas world wide. While I didn't take any business classes in college, I do know this news doesn't mean Pizza Hut is going completely under. Thanks to Shark Tank I (sorta) understand how franchising works, but that doesn't change that this isn't a good thing to find out days after the news broke because you're too busy ub**ing and moving to notice! 1/5 Pizza Huts in the United States will close; including my go-to in Warwick that had the most ridiculous set up of Boston professional athlete figurines of all time. (Tom Brady, Dustin Pedroia and the GREAT Wally Szczerbiak)

We as a planet have already lost so much in 2020. When does it stop? Kobe's dead, kids couldn't walk at graduation and now 20% of the Pizza Huts in the United States have closed. 2020 is running up the score like the 07 Pats. We gotta just hope there's a David Tyree out there somewhere to put us out of our misery. (What the FUCK did I just type?)

Pizza Hut is not only hands down the best chain pizza in the game, but it also responsible for convincing let's call it millions of children that free pizza is worth reading books for. 
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I read 25 books in 4th grade just for some free personal pans; of course one of them was Hatchet.
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Pizza Hut is also responsible for quiet possibly the best invention of the last 35 years. You already know I'm talking about Stuffed Crust Pizza, folks. I have yet to see another restaurant replicate the masterpiece that is Stuffed Crust. Why I ate an entire one just Saturday night. They are the tits.
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As a pizza guy I have no shame in saying I LOVE Pizza Hut. Of all the major chains it is IMO the best. Dominos fills the hole, but Pizza Hut fills the heart (and arteries). 

I have already lost Mookie and Brady this year. If Pizza Hut goes next I think it'll officially be check out time. #SavePizzaHut
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